Season 7 Week 5: TEAM vs. The Midgets

TEAM is Justice Legion Alpha Batman, Robin, the Toy Wonder, JLA Wonder Woman, JLA Flash, JLA Aquaman, JLA Hourman, Imperiex, Green Lantern Batman, Bloodwynd, Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Ragnarok, Eimen and Uriel, Thorion the Celestial, Iron Lantern, Marvewoman, Young Marvelman, Killer Rabbit of Cherbannog, Chronus, Sin (FFX), Michael Demuirgos, Crutus Penari, Elecman, Cock Sneak Goomba #7 and #8.

The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are: Hermes, Emperor Joker, The Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, White Lantern Hal Jordan w/red, yellow, and Alan Scott's green ring, Katma Tui, Salack, Amantia, Green Lantern #3, Tri-Eye, Bleez, Queen Aga Po, Star Sapphire #2, Blue Lantern Hal, Black Lantern Sinestro, Beppo the Supermonkey, Deadshot, Aresenal, Phoenix Entity, Deadpool w/ Yoshi egg, X-23, Age of Apocalypse Wolverine, AoA Cyclops, Flanklin Richards, Black Lantern Invisible Woman, BL Human Torch, BL Aunt May, Mouse Voltron, Orange Lantern Bowser, Star Wolf and Ron Popeil in a Snowspeeder, NCIS crew (Jethro Gibbs, Tony Dinozza, Timothy McGee, Ziva David, Kate, Todd, Mike Franks, Dr. Donald Mallard, Abby Sciuto) and Ewok #1A and #2A on an aircraft carrier, Peppermint Patty, Marci, Doozer #8, Hobbit #1, Billy Mays and NOSYARG KCID in a '96 5.8L 5 speed supercharged Mustang.

"It's him!" "Who?" "HIM!" "Oh, now i see! Awesome!" "What are you two talking about?" asks Deadpool. "If we saw him, that means you saw him too." "Yeah, look harder!" Deadpool looks again from his rooftop perch in the city and sees Captain America sprinting through an alley. "Why do we care about this again?" asks The Merc with a Mouth. "Dude. He JUST made a bassass movie." "Logic dictates that if we can beat someone with a box office draw like that, our movie will surely be made!" "Will it be R-rated?" inquires Deadpool. "Er..." "We're working on it." "Then I better eats me spinach!" he says while eating the contents of his Yoshi egg. Wade Wilson jumps from his perch, guns a'blazin. "What time is it? Ambush time! Admit it Cap, you never saw me comin!" taunts Deadpool. The bullets are redirected by Cap's shield back into Deadpool, and he falls into a nearby dumpster. "Wilson, I heard you talking to yourself from way down here. You're lucky I have better things to do." scolds Steve Rogers while he continues running. "Ameeeeeerica, f*ck yeah....." croons a garbage covered Deadpool.

Captain America opens communications with Iron Man. "Is Banner in place yet?" he asks. "Almost there Cap." replies Iron Man as he flies over the ocean carrying Bruce Banner. "Wow, I'm suprised he agreed to this." Says Cap. "Well.. I had to get a little creative." admits Stark. "This is incredible! You're taking me to a lab because you guys actually need my brain for once? Thanks Tony." says Banner. "You got it. Did I ever mention that this suit gets oily sometimes?" say Stark as he drops Banner. He flies into the upper atmospere and makes no attempt to catch Banner. "STAAAAAAAARK!!!" screams Bruce.

Iron Man flies into space to confront The Midgets assembled Lanterns and kills Mouse Voltron via repulsor blasts to get their attention. "So I heard that one of you losers could use an A-list kill on your resume. Come and get it." challenges Iron Man before he fires up his jets and speeds off. The Midgets give chase and run into an aproaching Iron Lantern, who uses his armor to drain the power of any Green Lantern in the vicinity. GLs Katma Tui, Salack, Amantia, and Green Lantern #3 suffocate in space, but vengeance is had by Zombie Supergirl. She cracks his armor open, and She rejoins the chase while Iron Lantern also suffocates. Blue Lantern Hal is ambushed by a hammer similar to Mjolnir, and is unable to prevent his death because there are no Green Lanterns to help him activate his ring's true power. The hammer returns to Ragnarok, who then fries Trie-Eye with lightning. "Blasphemy!" yells Thorion. "You offend the true Thor, clone pretender! Begone!" vows Thorion. His New Asgardian hammer destroys the pretender Ragnarok, but attracts the attention of nearby Black Lanterns. BL Sinestro, BL Human Torch, and BL Aunt May pierce the armor of Thorion together and are digging at his heart. He has no choice but to self implode aand take the Lanterns with him.

Z. Supergirl, WL Hal, RL Bleez, Star Sapphire #2, SS Queen Aga Po, and Orange Lantern Bowers continue to follow Iron Man, who have managed to avoid the missile barrages of the Armored Avenger thus far. TEAM tries another ambush, and Marvelwoman and Young Marvelman soar in for the kill. Marvelwoman rips Zombie Supergirl in twain, and Young Marvelman destroys RL Bleez' "heart" by ripping off her ring hand. She still has enough left to kill Young Marvelman with a projectile of red plasma, while Marvelwoman is swarned by the Mario menagerie of Orange Lantern Bowser.

Queen Aga Po and Star Sapphire #2 attempt to use their rings to effect Tony Stark, but his modified heart resists their contact. He turns and fires his Uni-beam and it definately makes a connection to their now dead bodies. "Hey guys, a little advice. Maybe you should, oh, I don't know... Try harder!" he mocks while engaging another jet boost to race away. OL Bowser is about to command his Marios to destroy Iron Man, but the archangel Michael Demuirgos' heavenly sword smites Bowser first. WL Hal uses his red and yellow ring to channel the full power of rage and fear into Michael, and the servant gets served.

Tony Stark confronts WL Hal. "Sorry about your team. Good effort Midgets. Looks like it's just you and me. Frankly, I'm used to dealing with someone with more than 4 rings, but I suppose you'll do." mocks Tony. "RRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" growls a rage induced WL Hal while charging to Iron Man. Stark deploys everything his got to counter the multiple rings. It stops Hal, but both men are severely lacking any meaningful power left. "I can still kill you." hisses WL Hal. "Shhhh... You're going to miss the best part..." explains Iron Man. He points up to reveal their final destination: the sector of space where Imperiex and The Phoenix Entity have been battling it out. It was just a matter of time before the destructive energy of the Phoenix and the "Big Bang" energy of Imperiex reacted poorly, and... "Gotcha." smiles Stark as the ensuing cosmic explosion consumes all in space. Including a until now unheeded and hereafter ignored Bloodwynd. Fire bad.

The NCIS crew and Ewoks #1A and #2A are aboard The Midgets' aircrafter carrier and await Final Fantasy X's Sin to rise from the ocean. Any minute now... Abby Scuito, Dr. Mallard, and the Ewoks go below deck to find something more interesting to do. Finally, this sorry excuse for a boss arises to have a long drawn out battle with The Midgets. This is one of the most boring end fights I've ever sat through. The Midgets are pounding this thing with the anti-aircraft guns on their carrier, and continue to do so for quite some time. Seriously, why doesn't this thing counter attack? Ah, because it's building up the death beam. And goodnight Tim McGee. And that's pretty much it. Lather, rinse, repeat until a solo Leroy Gibbs has had enough. His sniper shot gets the glorious "9999" damage and down goes Sin which seems about right, since NCIS has been level grinding for 10 years.

The previously dropped Bruce Banner has turned into The Hulk mid-drop, and smashes right through the middle of the carrier, killing Gibbs in the process. The carrier is slowly sinking, and The Hulk climbs up through the carrier to finish The Midgets off. He finds Scuito, Mallard, and the Ewoks in the forensics lab. "TV goth" and the Ewoks give The Hulk a cuteness overload, and reverts back to Banner. "Wait, Stark wasn't lying about the lab?" asks a groggy Banner. He is answered with a pair of little spears in his head and the critters celebrate. "I'd hate to ruin the moment, but it appears we are about to drown." observes the Doctor. The strained ship creaks even more and the seeping water starts to rush into the lab. "I hope this water doesn't ruin our autopsies." comment Abby Scuito. "Nub nub nub guuuurggle." adds Ewok #1A.

AoA Cyke, AoA Wolvie, and X-23 traverse the desert. TEAM's Apocalypse Twins Uriel and Eimen spot them and swoop in for the kill. Before the reach their targets, they are ended simultaneously by a sniper bullet and an arrow to their respective skulls. "That's 1-1, Harper. Not bad kid." compliments Deadshot. They hide on a nearby mesa and cover the psuedo X-team's movements. "It's about to be 2-1 when Cronus shows up." retorts Aresenal. "Maybe if you were your "dad". He MIGHT be able to pull it off." laughs Deadshot. Arsenal curses under his breath, and the pair await the Greek Titan. The arrival of Chronus can only mean two things: Someone's getting their balls ripped off, and some kids are getting eaten. The "X-Men" attack, but AoA Cyke and AoA Wolverine are instantly castrated by Chronus' scythe. X-23 slashes away at the Titan, but is eaten by him in the end. "Eyes. Go for his eyes" advises Deadshot. "Duh." replies Arsenal. They are spotted before they can shoot, and Chronus hurls a boulder at them. They fire while dodging. A bullet grazes Chronus' face, but the explosive arrow detonates inside the Titan's skull. "Boom! 2-1 to one, Lawton. Pay up." says Arsenal before he turns and sees the smashed corpse of Deadshot. "Damn..." laments Roy Harper.

"I start running before The Eradicator even confronts The Justice Legion Alpha. JLA Hourman locks him in a time bubble, while JLA Wonder Woman an JLA Aquaman stabs him in place with their weapons. JLA Batman and Robin, Toy Wonder are executing well delivered combinations of punches and kicks to a still frozen Eradicator. The time bubble can no longer hold back The Eradicator's intial energy blast, and JLA Hourman is toast the second it hits him. A freed Eradicator unleases his power all around him and the rest of The JLA are consumed. Hermes catches up to me, and I think he tries to mock me, but it's hard to hear when you're going this fast. His godly arrogance makes him try to best me, so I give him a good show and pour on the speed. Amazingly, he is still ahead, even at the threshold of The Speed Force. I hit the gas one more time and give him a good push. We are becoming one with The Speed Force, but not before I manage to end The Eradicator with a punch at lightspeed. I'm John Fox, and I'm the Fastest Man Ali..." says Justice Legion Alpha Flash.

Deadpool tries to keep up with Captain America, but is soon left in the dust. He stops to catch his breath, and notices a bar across the street. The Midgets' 96 Mustang and Snowspeeder are parked outside. "Of course, this must be our homebase. I wonder why nobody told me? Oh well, time to relax and have a couple brews with my amigos!" "Dude, tell them about that time you beat Captain America!" "Yeah, you beat him so bad that he ran home cryin' to his mama!" "Sounds good to me!" says Deadpool. He pauses when he notices TEAM's Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog policing the door. "Shoo! Ya wasscally wabbit! This is Midget Country!" threatens Wade as he pulls a katana. Wilson's throat is quickly torn out by the rabbit and he passes out, but not before he catches a gtlimpse oft his teammate Artsenal talking to the Killer rabbit.

Inside the bar, The Midgets Billy Mays, Ron Popeil, NOSYARG KCID, Star Wolf, Peppermint Patty, Marci, Doozer #1, and Beppo he Supermonkey conspire wih TEAM'st Elecman, Cruus Penari, atnd Cock Sneak Goombas #7 and #8. "So it's setled." says Billy Mays. "Popeil makes soumehing, I do the plugging for the brand, and he rest of you use your brands for product placement. I'm talkin real cash, people. We'll all finally get something out of his league besides an untimely death! Who's with me? They raise their drinks to the air in celebraion. The door is kicked open by Arsenal. "FFL Inernal Affairs! Hands up! You're all under arrest for behavior detrimental to the League. You want to transcend teams to do wrong, Billy? We can also team up to do right." says Aresnal. A coked up Billy Mays charges, but he and everyone in the joint are demolished by The Killer Rabbit. The previously parked Snowspeeder is now racing at the bar firing its cannons with Deadpool at the wheel. The well placed shots bring down the bar, killing the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and Arsenal. "Die wabbit, die! We did it Elmer, ya hear me?!? WE DID IT!" shouts Deadpool. "Where are the brakes on thing?" he asks before crashing into the rubble. He soon emerges from the scrapped bar, and checks the nonexistant watch on his wrist. "OOO! I can still make it on time if I hurry!" says Wade as he hops in the 96 Mustang.  

He speeds toward a building. "I sure hope this is the right place!" says Deadpool. "And if it's not?" "This is gonna be awkward." he says as the car crashes through the wall of Emperor Joker's Hideout. "CHIMICHAGAS!" yells a launched Wilson. He puts a few caps in a chained up and obviously tortured Green Lantern Batman before he hits the floor. He sees Captain America standing over a decapitated Emperor Joker. "What? I'm callin BS on that! No way Cap beats Emperor Joker... unless... Yes, of course! The power of the box office bank! Hey Cap! Gimme Gimme!" challenges Deadpool as he unsheathes his swords. He strikes hard against the shield and his blades shatter. "Damn you Home Shopping Network! Never again will I trust a redneck pitchman at 3 in the morning!" laments Deadpool. The Captain puts the hurt on a now depressed Wade, geting another decapitation in the process. "I should have finished you he first time." says Cap. "But then we wouldn't be together for this part!" says Headpool.

The camera pans out indefinately, beyond the universe. We find ourselves in the Midgets lockeroom, and Franklin Richards is staring into a rubber ball. "See Mom, I told you the good guys always win!" says the boy. Black Lantern Invisible Woman senses the hope welling inside him. "Yes sweetie, of course you're right! Now give Mommy a hug."

S7W5 - Real Man's Rabble Rousers vs. Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

The Rabble Rousers are: Topspin and Twin Twist, Hardhead and Duros, Hybrow and Gort, Siren and Quig, Junkeon #13 and 14, Snapdragon and Crunk, Runabout and Runamok, Slugslinger and Caliburst, Trigger Happy and Blowpipe, Movie Wreckers- Leadfoot, Roadbuster, Topspin, Movie Skids and Mudflap, Movie Arcee, Chromia and Elita One, Movie Dreads - Crankcase, Crowbar and Hatchet, Movie Shockwave and Driller, Vehicle Voltron- Air Team, Sea Team and Land Team, Bloodpack: Nyssa, Asad, Rheinhardt, Chupa, Snowman, Priest, Verlaine and Lighthammer, Iceman and Slider, Van Helsing, Chucky and Tiffany, Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man and Baby Pac Man, Decepticon 8, 9 and 10,

Neo Cymek # 20.

The Super Kitties are: Primus, Supergirl, The Jokester w/ his pet monkey:  Harley Quinn, Aunt May, and Baby Buck in a Ferrari GTO, Kyle Houslander (w a devil lance and mithril vest) and Zachary Houslander (w/ a demon rod) in a Ferrari 360 Modena (9 deaths), Flashpoint Batman (Thomas Wayne) in a Bell P-63 KingCobra, Larfleeze, Red X (Dick Grayson version) in a Bell P-63 KingCobra, Red X (other version) and Storm Trooper #49 in a Land Speeder, (Kingdom Come) Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Kid Flash, Mas y Menos, Monarch, Man-bat, Mr. Majestic, (Kingdom Come) Hawkman, (Kingdom Come) Lady Marvel, (Kingdom Come) King Marvel, (Kingdom Come) Power Woman, Krypto:  The Super Dog, Red Hulk, Warmaster Tsavong Lah, Jedi Master Stass Allie and Mala the Wookie in a Light Plane, Vampire Assajj Ventress and Feral in Stephen King's "Christine", Wario on a Scooter, Ariana Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Regulus Arcturus Black, Rebastan LeStrange, Rodolphus LeStrange, Peeta Malark (w/ Jarnborn (Thor's Axe), Mystery Inc.:  Fred, Velma, Daphne (w/ a star wand), Velma, Scooby-Doo, and Scooby-Dumb in a Fire Truck, Dr. Boom Boom Pow, Evette, Arjan Darkscale, Bagwa, Groudious Maximus.

The battle starts high above in space.  Supergirl is helping Primus defend off an attack from The Air team of Vehicle Voltron, Topspin, Sluglinger & Caliburst and Triggerhappy & Blowpipe.  Supergirl is surprised to see Triggerhappy & Blowpipe holding their own against her.  She usually has no problems with dismantling a simple transformer.  But as she hears the explosion behind her, She realizes their job was to keep her occupied while the others did the dirty work.  It was a one way mission for the Rabble Rousers and they knew it.  After Triggerhappy is killed with a quick shot of energy from Supergirl’s heat vision, She remained the sole survivor in space as she watches the burning remains of Primus float off into the distance.  Primus was able to get a blast of energy off before he died and Supergirl heads toward the waters of the Playoff Planet to investigate.

The entire lake is boiling.  One shot of energy was all it took to send the temperature of the lake skyrocketing and steam is billowing out into the sky.  Supergirl lands next to her teammate Wonder Girl.  Screams can be heard from all around.  

“What happened.  Where do we stand?” Supergirl asks

“Us kids were all dispatched to take care of the forces at the water.  That shot from Primus was unexpected but I think it might have helped us.” Wonder Girl replies.

Supergirl looks around.  She can tell right away that they lost quite a few.  She sees the remains of Baby Bucky, Man-Bat, Kid-Flash, Both Red X’s, Krypto, and Stormtrooper #49 are all dead on the ground.  However, the Rabble Rousers did not escape unscathed either.  Dead for them were Sea Team Voltron,Van Helsing, Chucky and Tiffany, Iceman & Slider, and the Pac Man family.

“Wow, what a mess” says Supergirl.

“No Kidding.  What’s the intel on the Rabble Rousers position? Do we have a rally point? asks Wonder Girl.

“There are a ton of robots in the city center.  I think they started every transformer.  It’s gonna be tough” says Supergirl.

“Oh great, just what I wanted to do was face a 9 death Megatron today…” sighs Wonder Girl

“No worries,” smiles Supergirl “He didn’t get the start today.

The two girls head off to the Jungle to round up everyone else for the fight in the city.  They have to keep their wits about them.  It is harder to see someone sneaking up on you in the forest than it is in water or space.  

“Stop!” Supergirl whispers sternly.  “Who is that up ahead?”

Standing about 50 yards in front of them they see the creepy smiling grin of a man with a crown on.  He is holding out a cheeseburger on a silver plate.

“That burger looks good.” says Wonder Girl

“Don’t you know that fast food makes girls fart?” Says a voice from behind them.  Startled, the girls turn to see Peeta Melark coming toward them.

“You scared me Peeta” says Supergirl in a flirty tone.  Peeta launches Jarnborn through the air and it lunges into the chest of the Burger King.

“We need to all regroup in the city center.” Wonder Girl says updating Peeta on the team plans.  “Anyone else in here?”

“Don’t think so.  I have been here for 2 weeks and haven’t seen anyone.” Peeta replies

Just then, They hear the voice of Katniss Everdeen crying out for Peeta to help her.  Peeta cannot resist and takes off blindly through the woods.  The love that the baker’s son has is so blind that he doesn’t stop to remember that Katniss plays for the Commandos.  He sees a dying Katniss lying on the ground begging for his help. As he rushes to her side, he now realizes he has been deceived by Decepticon #10.  The ambush is fast and coordinated.  The Bloodpack emerges from the shadows and Peeta can barely get back to his axe.  He manages to only kill Decepticon #9 and Nyssa.  Arriving late, Wonder Girl and Supergirl dispose of Decepticon 8 & 10 as well as Asad, and Snowman.  The coolest D&D crew shows up just in time to swap deaths with the rest of the bloodpack.  Evette kills Lighthammer as Priest avenges him.  Priest and Verlaine are then disposed of by Arjan Darkscale.  Dr. Boom Boom Pow crushes Chupa’s skull in and Rheinhardt runs him through.  Bagwa, riding on the broad shoulders of the mighty Groudious Maximus stabs Rheinhardt in the top of the head killing him.  The two stop in front of the superhero teens.

“Pelor has shined his blessings upon us this day!”  Bagwa says to the two.

“Uhh… Right.” says Supergirl.  “What does that mean?  Is that like some stupid joke that only the nerdiest of nerds will understand?”

“We don’t have much time.  Everyone is meeting in the city.  We need to kill a bunch of robots.” says Wonder Girl.

The foursome head off toward the Desert to search for more members of their party to join the hunt.  As they arrive, the heat from the sun is scorching overhead.  Groudious Maximus is having a hard time keeping the mighty midget on his shoulders.  As they walk over a dune they see the fight.  Green and red sparks are flying as the Dumbledore’s, LeStrange’s and Black are all trying to curse the Land Team of Vehicle Voltron as well as Neo Cymek #20 and Skids & Mudflap.  Skids and Mudflap stop to argue and Rebastan LeStrange sends a fire spell toward their gas tanks blowing them up.  Some sort of car part shoots out though and kills both the LeStrange’s.  Like maybe it was a drive shaft or a piston or something.  I don’t know anything about cars.  Black takes care of the Neo Cymek but the last remaining Voltron is able to kill Regulus as well as Ariana Dumbledore.  Stass Allie and Mala soar in flying in a light plane.  They take some shots at the Voltron and KC Power Woman comes in to help as well.  Voltron crushes the plane out of the sky and KC Power Woman and Aberforth are able to bring down the robot.  It lands with a loud thump on the sand and after the dust settles, Aberforth and KC Power Woman meet up with the crew.  Supergirl and Wonder Girl tell them of their plans to meet in the city.  As the 6 of them head off, they see two men sleeping against a cactus.  Siesta happens and Mas y Menos are the latest victims.  The group doesn’t need any drywall put up or landscaping done so they decide to not bother the two mexicans and head off toward the city without them.

The Super Kitties have gathered on top of a skyscraper to discuss battle plans.  KC Power Woman and Supergirl help Bagwa and Maximus up on the building.  Suddenly the building begins to tremble as Driller tears a hole through the structure like butter.  Most of the team is able to fly away but as tons of concrete fall to the ground the last two members of mystery inc perish along with the brother of the head of Hogwarts. Debris is also responsible for killing Jokester, Harley Quinn and Aunt May as they drive by in their Ferrari as well as Kyle and Zach and Wario in his scooter.  Arcee and Chromia are crushed as well. Mr. Majestic punches a hole through Wreckers. and Leadfoot runs over Mr. Majestic. KC Hawkman tries to stand up to Dreads and Crankcase.  Dreads explodes with an arrow to the engine but Crankcase flattens him.  Crankcase then transforms and stops flat Christine containing Assajj Ventress and Ferel.  KC King Marvel then flies in to tear the head off of Crankcase.  He then rolls his head down the street and blows up Elita One as well as Roadbuster and the other Topspin.  Hatchet then flies over a heap of dead robots and tears KC King Marvel in two.

Red Hulk SMASH!  Beneath his fists are Runabout and Runamuck.  Hatchet tries to take out his second Super Kitty but Red Hulk hears him coming and backhands him into a building.  Monarch and Larfleeze team up to take out Siren and Quig but the ground begins to shake again and they are gobbled up in the awaiting maw of Driller.  Our Super teens are back but not in time to save them. Supergirl is able to heat the core of driller and he falls dead in the street.  Wonder Girl then throws Shockwave into the air and KC Power Woman completes the alley-oop by punching him down into the hole that driller left in the ground.  Twin twist then tears through the wall of a nearby building and KC Power Woman vanishes from the street.

As the Kitties try to regroup, Warmaster Tsavong Lah is run down by Crowbar but not before KC Wonder woman flings him into the sun with her lasso.  Leadfoot tries to run her down but Flashpoint Batman has her back and shoots him in the street from his P-63.  Snapdragon and Crunk have formed together and snatch the plane out of the air and eats Thomas Wayne as a mid fight snack.  Wonder Girl holds a kinship to the alternate older version of her cousin and bites off a bit more than she can chew.  She does not win the battle with Snapdragon and Crunk but her team does.  Wonder Girl dies but Red Hulk and KC Wonder Woman are able to destroy the beast.  Hybrow and Gort have also combined into a helicopter overhead and begin to fire massive amounts of bullets into the evil Hulk.  His anger grows into an immense fireball and Twin Twist tears through another nearby building directly into the Red Hulk.  The heat from the Hulk blows up the Autobot and they both perish.  Supergirl flies in to burn the rotor off and Hybrow and Gort barrel uncontrollably into a building and explode on impact.

KC Lady Marvel takes flight and crushes Junkeon 13 & 14 together into one ball of steel.  The street is quiet until Hardhead and Duros combine and face the remaining 3 female comabatants for the Kitties.  Before the other two can volunteer, KC Wonder Woman takes the opportunity to seize victory for her team and flies herself straight into the chest of the final robot for the Rabble Rousers.

Miles away, a sandstorm knocks the sombrero off the head of Menos stirring him from his slumber.  He looks around at the charred remains battle in the desert and frantically shakes his partner awake.

“¿qué hora es? llegamos tarde!” Menos exclaims

"Federalist scum." growls White Lantern Sinestro as he sends blast after blast of red lantern energy "As if it's not insulting enough to thumb your nose at the almighty Watchers, but you do it dressed as Mexican street trash. Disgusting"

The Lucha Seeney family duck for cover as explosions erupt around them. El DiaBro Jr (Jackson Seeney) looks at his father with excitement and a trace of fear.

"Dat's a bad guy, Dad! I gonna go bweak his face." Jr attempts to jump into the melee in his usual headfirst manner, when El Diabro (Chris Seeney) grabs him by the shoulder.

"Patience, buddy" he says "The key is to use your mind more than your weapons. Everyone has a weakness, and Sinestro just told us his. Watch." He thumbs open his comm line and calls out

"You're fighting for the wrong side, Sinn. You and the Watchers aren't the Gods you pretend to be" He tosses a few flashbangs that just further enrage the bearer of the white light.

"I disagree. The Gods themselves look in envy upon what we all can do. They very fate of this pathetic mudball itself is in our very grasp. Who other than a God can claim that?"

Sinestro doesn't get the chance to hear the reply, as the arriving Heimdall cleaves his head from his shoulders.

"He talks too much" says Heimdall as he cleans the blood from his sword.

"That's what I was counting on" replies Diabro "Got any news, 'dall?"

"None good, I'm afraid. The populists and the Watchers are threatening to destroy the entire ecosphere of the planet if we don't all submit and swear allegiance to them."

"Feh. How many times has the planet been destroyed, yet we always rebuild. Hasn't Kang destroyed this place, like three times? What's their latest threat?"

"They've stationed the various Kaiju across the seas and at major ports. They're threatening to have the beasts attack and focus on pure destruction."

"Giant monsters. Yawn. How many times have we killed Godzilla, why just last week.."

"Last week's battle decimated both the Horsemen and the Commandos, and these monsters aren't like Godzilla. Invincible flew through the eye of the one called Mutavore, but as he popped out the other side, he was being eaten away by the things acidic blood. And that's not all, the damn thing detonated into some toxic cloud that killed Hush, Beowolf, Scarlet Spider and Vigo: The Carpathian. Human Bomb and Vampire Orion barely escaped with their lives."

"But now we know their deal, we should..."

"Look, Diabro. I'm gonna level with you. The Watchers have discovered that we were behind the destruction of Mitchy's, and their pissed. This isn't like when the planet explodes, and is refromed later. This is enviromental torture. This is an epic level of destruction we've never seen before. Do you really want to risk your family over your pride?"

This statement causes the persona of El Diabro to take a backseat to the fatherly instinct that Seeney has for his son and dog. The thought of them having to suffer through what Hemidall described silences any ideas he may have of taking down his opponents.

"Can you get them out of here?" he whispers to Heimdall?

"For you, my friend? Of course. But what shall you do?"

"I'm gonna give those bastards what they want." as he watches Jackson and El Barko (Oliver) safely teleported out of the match, Diabro raises his hands in surrender as Batwing, and Joseph arrive with Nova. Joseph is wearing a garish new armor, made out of the shell of the T-3 Terminator.

"Easy guys, I give up. See. My hands are up." he's quickly subdued and taken prisoner. He's presented to the Inhuman king Black Bolt himself for judgement. Facing a variety of trumped up charges that his accusers are just as guilty of. The entire thing is broadcast for all to see

"So, judge Black Bolt...how do you find the accused?" smiles Joseph via satellite as the gallery watches in anticpation for the inevitable slaughter of a helpless man. As Black Bolt draws breath to deliver his sentence. Seeney braces himself. The last thing he things is "At least my family is safe" as the word "Guilty" explodes from Black Bolt's lips, causing the accused to literally explode as it's uttered.

The Teams

Griswol'd Nut-busters are (or were) Slym and Red Dayspring, Evan Sabhnur, Jarvis, Pepper Potts (w/ rescue armor), Widget (w/ body), Bill Braskey, (Age of Apocalypse) Nihtcrawler, (Age of Apocalypse) Blob, King Tut, Nova (Sam Alexander), Doomsday, Jinx, Fantomex, Cluster, Weapon XIII, Bill Lambier, G.W. Bridge, Ras Al Ghul, Talon, Right Winger and Left Winger, Batwing, The Circle of Fire: Pel Tavin, Ali Rayner-West, Hunter and Forest RAyner, G.L. 7177.6, Alexandra DeWitt, Larvox, Star Sapphire #3, Thrasher, Teneb Kel, Maggot, Exal Kresh, Dexter Jettster, Fizzle, Pipes, Ecthelion of the Fountain, Abobo, Roper, The Shining Force: Mini-Pipes, Livewire, Goddess of the Moon, Super-Hero, Cowboy Man, Heat Man, Bear, Stephanie, Dos, PC, Zimm, and Capt. Wacky, War Skrull #6-10, Skrull #20, Matrix Agent #1 and 2, Black Dragon #3, Nightbrother #8, Dark Side Acolyte, #3, Dark Side Marauder #1-3, and Ewok Child #1.

The Commandos are (or were) Earth 2 Superman, Whizzy the Supercat, Vampire Orion, Batzarro, Raven, Human Bomb, Heimdall, Capt. Marvel (Mar-Vel), (original) Human Torch, Rhino, Vindicator, Foolkiller, Baby Nightcrawler, Equinox, Jared Nomack (w/ yellow lantern ring), Tracks (w/ Autobot Matrix of Leadership (AKA: Tracksimus Prime)), Darth Binks, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Shrapnell, Kickback, Venom, Ransack, Barrage, and Chop Shop, (movie) Blackout (w/ red lantern ring), Luminara Unduli (w/ blue lantern ring), Carlisle Cullen (w/ Star Sapphire Ring), Esme, Alice, and Emmett Cullen, Jasper and Rosalie Hale, Judah Ben Hur (w/ white lantern ring), T-3, Jack Crowe (w/ red lightsaber), Azeem: The great one (w/ red lightsaber), Mansquito, Archie the Octospider, Nicole Des Jardins Wakefield, Dora the Explorer w/ Boots, Backpack, and The Map, and Joan Jett.

The Empire is (or was) Silver Surfer, Vladimir Putin, Red She Hulk, Vixen, Balder the Brave, Meggan, Capt. Britain, Mon Mothma, Mother Askani, War Bird, Ewok #76 )w/ zapper and proton pack), The In-betweener, Lord Chaos, Master Order, Arachne, Scarlet Spider, The Blob, Zombie Poison Ivy, White Lantern Swamp Thing, Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes (w/ legion flight ring), Lori Grimes (w/ legion flight ring), Glenn, Maggie Greene, Dale Horvath, Darryl Dixon (w/ throwing knives), T-Dog, Andrea (w/ legion flight ring), Amy (w/ legion flight ring), Tyrese, Hershel Greene, Michone (w/ purple lightsaber)w/ zombie pet #1 and 2, Bill Kelley: Dark Jedi Master, Aaron Griswold, El Blanco, Vigo the Carpathian, Zombie Nick Houslander, Luchador Assassin Chris Seney w/ Jackson and El Barko, Magius, Leech, Ninjor, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull (w/ indigo lantern ring), Sy-Clone, Fakor, and Hordack (w/ yellow lantern ring).

The Murderflies are (or were) The Chaos King, Ego, Bodikka, Zombie Godzilla, The Mandarin, Pacific Rim Kaiju: Trespasser, Oniba, Yamarisha, Knifehead, Mutavore, Leatherback, Otachi, Raju, Scunner, and Slattern, Spartacus, Crixus (w/ red lantern ring), Granicus, Oenomus, Doctore, Agron, Borca, Varro, Quintus, Batiatus, Lucretia Batiatus, Naeuia, Mira, Melitta, Ernie Harwell (w/ blue lantern ring), Jack Reacher, Andre the Giant, Machette, Larry Reamer: Jedi Master, John Moses Browning, Sam Axe (w/ rocket launcher), Hans Gruber, Energizer Bunny, Ewok #24, LMD #3. An AT-ST, and a Speeder bike.

The Royal Highness are (or were) Mogo, Yoda, Prof. X, Vampire Jean Grey, The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic (w/ Ultimate Nullifier, Invisible Girl, Human Torch and The Thing, Doomslayer, Cyborg Doomsday, Steel Doomsday, Superboy Doomsday, Morgan Lefay, Beowolf, Invincible, Vampire Kang the Conqueror (w/ DC Spiderman), Ronan the Accuser, Apocalypse, Lex Luthor (w/ bizarro red kryptonite), Sandworm #8, True Q, Hush, Red Hood, Robin (jason Todd), Dave Thomas, Heather Houslander, NFG Mike (w/ green lightsaber), on Green Yoshi, Ewok #2.... The Revenge, Battlehawk, and Tie Bomber.

The Horsemen are Darkseid, Achilles, Stitch (w/ green lightsaber), Bugs Bunny, Deathstroke, Elixir, Havoc, Gozar the Gozarian, Zuul, Vince Clortho, Witch King of Angmar, Balrog of Moria, Smaug, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Black Bolt, Optimus Prime, Roller, White Suit Anakin in a Tie Interceptor, Obi Wan Kenobi in Z-95 Headhunter, Legolas (w/ green lantern ring), Godzilla, Green Lantern Ryan Poteracki, Vampire Chris and Julie Artrip, John McLane in The Millennium Bucko, Ramjet, Scar, White Lantern Sinestro, Joseph, and The Darth Vader Sith Starfighter Transformer.

????

“It was years of research. It was hundreds of lives lost to gain access to the machine. It seems like it is all just cosmic power, infinite power; but it’s a machine that The Watchers have. It’s a machine that resets The Play-Off Planet. A machine that controls the time continuum. It’s not on this plane of existence, but we gained access to The Chaos King. Ha…. He wasn’t happy about it. In fact it turned his team and two other teams against us. But we killed him with it, he died along with the machine. The Chaos King helped us destroy the machine. And now we are The Kings of Chaos…


-**A Brief excerpt from Bill Duer’s conversation with Governor Morris.

A letter to citizens (or is it subjects).

A written address to Parliament, from Patrick Samuel:


My fellow members of Parliament: I hope that my absence, like all of ours is not looked upon by our constituents as cowardice. But the streets are unsafe and I fear our planet is in peril. We have faced destruction before; but it has never been like this. I cannot explain this occurrence anymore than any of you can. I do not know why the world is not being rebuilt as normal. I do not know why more than one match is happening at once. I do not know why the time seems to be….. Unmoving. I simply cannot explain these phenomenon. And although I am a secular minded individual, I would encourage all to pray…. Pray to whomever you think may help us. Pray to your God, pray to the gods, or if you must pray to The Watchers. We will overcome this. We must overcome this. The explosion that just overtook this community was more powerful than anything we have ever seen on The Play-Off Planet, and as we know that is saying very much. The Parliament Building may be destroyed; but Parliament remains, I remain, your elected officials remain, Parliament remains. Parliament remains…. Even if the all the combatants that have thus far fought for either side have been destroyed. As I stated, I don’t understand it either. Stay smart, stay vigilant, and please stay alive…


An unexplainable explosion happened right before this…….

The post (or match) that follows happened right before the explosion……

A Meeting of Like Minds

Two large doors open to reveal a much larger room then one would have expected and a set of stairs….

“Good evening Mr. Governor. Were you followed”?

“No, not that I know of. I took every precaution possible”. Said Governor Morris to the unknown man letting him in.

The governor continues: “Is it wise for you to use my real name? Or perhaps it is I who should not answer to it, considering that I know not who you are. Although I assume that you are my underground contact who goes by the name E-4”?

“Actually sir, I am E-4’s direct superior D-2. And you are much too well known of a figure to even attempt to keep your anonymity. We can be certain at this point that you were not followed and that no being is monitoring this situation”.

“I wasn’t expecting such optimism from a person in your position”, says the governor in reply.

The Agent codenamed D-2 smirks and says: “Oh, I assure you sir; there is no optimism here. It is just that if you had been being monitored than we would both be dead by now.

The two men walk down several sets of stairs in silence until they eventually reach an elevator. As they ride down to the seventh sub-level of this seemingly abandoned building, the governor presents a question: “So, Mr. D-2; if my intel is correct, than the D in your “name” represents that you are a part of the fourth tier in the underground movement. I trust that you will be honest with me, considering that if anyone in Parliament knew I was here that I would be immediately impeached…. Or perhaps worse”.

D-2 replies: “I assure you sir, we intend to let you in on every aspect of our plan”.

The Governor nods and asks: “Forgive me for being so forward so early; but will my meeting this evening be with you? No offense is intended, but I expected to be meeting with a person a bit higher in the revolutionary hierarchy”.

“No offense is taken sir. We originally intended to have you be met by one of the two B-tier leaders; but they were both killed yesterday by assassin’s bullets. The three C-tier leaders are all off leading separate missions and the other three of us four D-tier people are working on the league-character-political-transformation project, which as you may have noticed if you have been watching the news is already underway. But, and please forgive me for my long-windedness; the answer to your question is No. Your meeting tonight will not be with me, it will be with Agent A-1. Our true leader and mastermind. We will be arriving in his quarters shortly”.

The two men continue their walk through a long winding hallway, and finally reach a barricaded room where they stop at the security enabled door. Agent D-2 then lifts his left hand and uses his right to pull a bandage off of his ring finger. He then pulls out a pocket knife and reopens a wound on that finger before placing his bleeding appendage on the door’s retractable slide. The door reads the genetic information from his blood and then opens…

Governor Morris walks towards the man sitting at the solitary desk in the small room. He extends his hand and says: “You look much like a man, who cannot possibly be here to meet me”.

The man speaks and says: “I apologize for any deception that was necessary Mr. Governor. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person. I am Agent A-1, but you probably already know me as Bill Duer”…..

A Rendezvous at the Pub

Ronan the Accusser, Dave Thomas, Mon Mothma, Balder the Brave, Darth Binks and Mansquito are fighting for the Rights of the People.

Vampire Chris and Julie Artrip, Andre the Giant, Hans Gruber, Ras Al Ghul and Bill Braskey are fighting for the continued Tyranny of the Watchers.

All six teams members are standing around in a local bar. There are probably twenty or thirty citizens of the playoff planet in the bar, making this place a packed house. Some are eating, most are drinking and like everywhere else on this planet, there is a sense of civil unease throughout the entire place.

Andre the Giant: That hurts mister bug man, please stop doing that.

Mansquito: Psssh Psssh (Bug Noises)

Vamp Chris: Come on, just a little bit more Dave.

Dave Thomas: Okay but remember that I ain't no Mo.

Chris proceeds to drink blood out of Dave Thomas' wrist.

Vamp Julie: Bulls#$% Chris, that blood is mine.

Julie tackles Chris to the ground as they pound on each other. Then the fighting starts to go in another direction to which this watcher had to turn his head. Given, they were still pounding on each other, only this time it was for a different outcome.

Darth Binks: Mesa lovin it when you shoot the coke head in the face. Mesa really liken it when yousa shootin the Japanese man in the head. Mesa lovin bein a Sith Lord.

Hans Gruber: I wish I shared the same sentiment as you but I happen to of found you as unappealing of a character as I have ever seen.

Darth Binks draws his light saber and swings it within an inch of Hans head.

Darth Binks: (In a eloquent tone of voice) If you were another man Mr. Gruber I would have let the blade slice you like buttered lamb at Easter dinner. Be grateful that my respect for you is just enough for me to hold back. Do not let it happen again or Mesa gonna have to cut your Mother F#$@ing dome off next time.

Balder the Brave: Can you believe the wonderful accommodations they have for us on this planet? I have been drinking like a king since we arrived.

Bill Braskey: I'm Bill Braskey.

Balder the Brave: Well Bill, it is nice to make your acquaintance. Here, let's have a drink.
A toast my friend to the wonderful people of this glorious Playoff Planet. May the people of this world be forever blessed with supple meats and plentiful drinks.

Both of them drink to the people of the Playoff planet

Ras Al Ghul: That is quite enough Mr. Braskey.

Bill Braskey: Enough of what? There are free drinks Ras, that means I am not budging.

Ras Al Ghul: Andre, would you please convince Mr. Braskey that it is for his own good to leave the company of such a barbarian.

Andre the Giant begins to walk over to Bill but as he does, Balder stands directly in front of him.

Balder the Brave: You say Barbarian but I assume you mean half brother of the God of Thunder. If I am a barbarian then you are a mere termite to be crushed under the foot of an innocent child. You are but another arrogant yet inconsequential creature that strives for something more but will never find a single moment good enough to fill the void. I pity you Ras Al Ghul. I feel sorry for your kind.

Ras Al Ghul: A speech to be remembered forever I am sure. Now Andre would you please get Mr. Braskey and leave these foolish creatures.

Andre is now drinking with Bill Braskey.

Andre: They have ale Ras Al. I will never be one to turn down free ale. Are you sure these people are the true enemies of this league? They seem like good people to me.

Ras Al Ghul: They do my large friend, don't they. Well then let me ask you this; If they are so great then why are they openly firing on any and all combatants in this match? They hold no allegiance towards you or anyone on your team so why defend them?

Mon Mothma: They are firing on us because we show them not even the slightest bit of decency when we ravage their home every single year. They did not ask to be in this situation, just like us. You say they are firing on each and every one of us; How does that make them any different then you or I? We were all brought into this league against our will and though many of us have embraced the situation, it will never be anything less then the will of the people being raped into submission. (Now talking to everyone in the bar) So I beg of you, citizens of this planet, this league: Please stand up to the Watchers once and for all and end this pointless genocide before we, like the people of this planet, are nothing but a distant memory. Save the Playoff Planet and maybe, just maybe you can save your soul.

Ras Al Ghul: (Claps ever so loud) Wonderful words Mon, quite the speaker are you. Every cause needs its mouthpiece and it looks like the fortunate people of this planet have you. Honestly, I mean that from the bottom of my heart. The thing you forget to put in this unequal equation you bring up is where we all fit in. You see; if it were not for the Watchers, none of this, us, would be here in the first place. We may not have asked to be put in this situation to begin with but what creature that has ever lived a life ever has? I understand where your point lies in this fight Mon, I just do not understand why? I was given life and I will fight for that life everyday until my last. All of you can choose to fight the system, I will no longer stand in your way but please ask yourself this one question before you do; If you are nothing but a pawn in the Watchers fantasy playground to begin with, then how can your "free will" be anything but a figment of their imagination?

A loud roaring laugh and loud clapping comes from the corner of the bar, the last seat next to the wall to be exact. Ronan the Accuser sits with the smile on his face, though the smile is not that of happiness, it is something completely different. Resignation perhaps, from this vantage point it is difficult to tell.

Mon Mothma: Why must you mock us Ronan? Why do you find it so difficult to choose a side in all of this?

Ronan the Accuser: You take my laughter the wrong way my dear Mon. I very much enjoyed this little show you both have put on for the good people of this establishment. The best piece of community theatre I have seen in quite some time.

Ras Al Ghul: Ah yes, Ronan the Accuser, I should have assumed you would wait until all the cards were on the table before you made your appearance known. All of you quote un-quote All Powerful Beings are all the same. You try and act like you can relate with the plights of us mortal beings, all the while knowing full well that you do not have to deal with any of the actual problems. Please Ronan, spar us your wisdom.

Ronan the Accuser: For somebody who supports the Watchers so loyally your defiance towards me is surprising. Unless of course it is something so simple as jealousy that clouds your mind? Not for somebody like you though, correct?

Ras Al Ghul makes not a single move towards the Kree soldier despite his obvious anger for him.

Ronan the Accuser: That is what I figured Ras Al. You see, everyone here in this bar right now, please listen; This shall only take a minute.

Everyone quiets down as Ronan takes center stage.

Ronan the Accuser: The issue on this planet is a dire one. Your home is being ravaged to pieces and you believe nobody is out there to help you. The truth, unfortunate as it may be. I know there are a lot of people out here right now fighting in opposition of this opinion but at the end of the day, it will all be for naught.

Boos and screams are heard around the bar and if looks could kill, Mon Mothma would be considered a mass murderer at this moment.

Balder the Brave: So your point is that fighting is useless no matter the cause?

Ronan the Accuser: In a way, yes, just not in the way that you think. My point is this. Most of you believe that fighting the Watcher's will help save your planet. This is a fruitless venture, but so is defending the Watcher's honor. The Watcher's may have created all of this...

Mon Mothma: May have?

Ronan the Accuser: Yes, they may have created us, not that it matters because regardless of the side you sit on, in the end, none of this matters anyways. You are all going to die fighting regardless of what your cause is, so when it truly comes down to it, whether you are with them or against them, it doesn't really matter. "Why fight at all" should be what you are all thinking right now instead of "Who" should you fight.

Ras Al Ghul: We are all going to die so what is the point of any of this? That is your big speech. You think we should all just put down our weapons and wait for the rapture? Why fight when the end is death anyways. (Screams this) You hear that everyone, we are all going to die anyways so let's just sit down and quit.

Ronan the Accuser: Very close Ras though I didn't say we were all going to die, I said you were all going to die.

Ras Al Ghul: Always twisting the words of those who are inferior to you huh Ronan?

Ronan the Accuser: Interesting words from someone who has been cheating death for years, though for today, I think you can make an exception.

Ras Al Ghul then looks around him and notices that everyone in the bar is either sleeping in their seat or on the floor. Ras himself then begins to feel lightheaded and takes a seat. The feeling of exhaustion is overwhelming and in a matter of seconds he wants nothing more then to put his head down and go to sleep.

Ras Al Ghul: (Fighting to get the words out) It was just one big trick wasn't it Ro? One last....you always have to win....don't you.

Ronan the Accuser: I wasn't tricking you my friend, I was showing you the truth.

As Ras Al Ghul finally loses the battle and closes his eyes, Ronan the Accuser alters the molecular structure in the room just enough to end every single person's life without causing them a single ounce of pain.

He then slowly walks out of the bar and heads towards the next battle on this embittered planet. A planet that if it were up to him, would be set free from all of this once and for all.

Season 7, Week 5 Match: George Washington's Slaves vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

“Have you ever heard of the story of Darth Shemalya?”

            -Darth Skceb [Diary of the Sith]

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 7, Week 5 Match located on the Playoff Planet.  They are as follows:

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Fear Itself - Ulik, Serpent, Shao Khan/Skadi: Herald of the Serpent, Gimli/Kuurth: Breaker of Stone, Beast Wars Megatron/Nul: Breaker of Worlds, Princess Leia/Skirn: Breaker of Men, Nightsister Sith Witch #1/Nerkkod: Breaker of Oceans, Blanka/Mokk: Breaker of Faith, Marv/Greithoth: Breaker of Wills and Beast Man/Angir: Breaker of Souls; Strong Guy; Eren Jaeger; Battle Pope with chaingun; Avengelyne; Witchblade; Donkey Kong; Red Lantern Jeff Houslander; G.I. Joe - Zartan, Buzzer, Ripper, Monkeywrench and Torch;  Ghostbusters - Peter Venkman with green lightsaber, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler and Winston Zeddemore; Heroes - Matt Parkman, Sylar, Peter Petrelli, Hiro Nakamura with blue lightsaber, Claire Bennet with Asohka Tano's green lightsaber and The Haitian; Wonder Boy and Young Nasty Man; Uncle Sam; Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E.; Captain Universe; Shrek-It Ralph; Daniel LaRusso with green lightsaber and green lantern ring and Care Becks.

George Washington’s Slaves: Amazo; Fernus; Loki; Wolverine; Ki Adi Mundi; Coleman Kcaj; Shindor of Brontic; Kol Skywalker with  Yoda's green lantern ring; Shado Vao; Cad Bane; Yendar Platis; Sly Moore; Sarumon with the One Ring; Boromir with Anduril; Santa Claus with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen; Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox;  Ajax Major with a devil lance;  The Hydra;  Simon Phoenix with a M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher; Ass Blaster #1; The Three Musketeers: Athos, Porthos with a green lightsaber (hockey stick), Aremis with green lightsaber and D'Artagian with green lightsaber; Mer-Man; Beavis with halbeard; Butthead with Sith lanvarok; Buttchunk; Wally Trollman; Norville the Dragon; The Grinch and Max the Dog; Josh Houslander - Samurai Warrior; Vampire Al Dogg; Darth Shamalya; Sandworms #19 and #20, Starship Trooper #7 and Two Headed Ogres #1 and #2.

Decisions’ locker room. . .

Care Becks:  F@ck all those Slave f@ckin’ f@cks!

Peter Venkman:  A wee bit angry there, aren’t you little guy?

Care Becks:  F@ck you!  At least I don’t wear my G#dd@mn pajamas around town!

Slaves locker room. . .

Darth Shemalya:  I will bend them all to my will. . .

Butthead:  Uuuuuuhhh. . . You can bend me anytime.

Beavis:  Yeah!  Yeah!  Bend him!  Bend him!

A LOUD SIREN RINGS THROUGHOUT THE AREAS OF THE PLAYOFF PLANET.

Let the match begin. . .

Waters region. . .

Mer-Man floats in the waters looking for his prey.  The master of his watery universe sees Nightsister Sith Witch #1/Nerkkod: Breaker of Oceans swimming toward him.  The expert mariner is more adept in the waters, but the combination of the Force, along with the special hammer, gives the witch insurmountable power over the very area itself.  Mer-Man struggles to meet his enemy.  When the aquatic humanoid finally reaches the witch, he is met by a crushing blow to his skull by Nerkkod’s hammer.  Mer-Man is killed instantly.  Nightsister Sith Witch #1/Nerkkod swims back to shore.  

Shemalya. . .

Cloaked shadow: You shall be known henceforth as Darth Shemalya. . .

Shemalya:  Yes, my master.

An ugly grin creeps upon Shemalya’s face.  She smiles at the recognition of her becoming a true Sith.  She will make her exploits known throughout the galaxy.  She will make her name known to all.  She will make all quake in fear before her.  She is Shemalya. . .  

Arctic region. . .

Sparking waves of light encircle the sky as the Ghostbusters attempt to capture Santa Claus and his reindeer in their modified containment device.

Zeddemore:  I knew Krampus was real, but Claus – go figure!

Spengler:  Focus and keep firing, Winston!

Santa Claus rides his sleigh with skillful precision as he steers around his enemies’ weapons and straight into Zeddemore.  Zeddemore is knocked to the ground.  The fourth Ghostbuster rises and his face is met by a repeated trampling by over a dozen pairs of hooves.  The bloodied and brain dead Zeddemore falls to the ground, never to rise again as his spirit travels to the FFL Graveyard.  Stantz manages to shoot Blitzen out of the sky, while Spengler shoots and kills Donner.  The two reindeer are instantly seared, but their deaths do not affect the remainder of the Rangifer tarandus carriers as the remaining animals continue to climb in the sky, carrying their dead brethren with them.  Claus instantly reacts at their deaths and snaps the leashes, allowing the decedents to fall to the ground below.  The sleigh flies on and turns around, focusing on both Stantz and Spengler.  The reindeer shrug their shoulders and use their antlers to repeatedly strike and impale Stantz and Spengler.  The Ghostbusters shredded bodies eventually slide from the antlers of their killers, their spirits joining their brother in the Graveyard.  Venkman strikes the enemy with his lightsaber and manages slice both Comet’s and Cupid’s bellies. The two carry their entrails behind and eventually are let go from the sleigh by Santa’s mechanism.   After several passes, the animals are too much for the Ghostbuster and Venkman is killed, but not before killing Dasher.  Santa Claus regroups with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen and shoots into the sky. 

Desert Region. . .

Sandworms #19 and #20 tunnel through the grains of sand.  They explode to the surface and are met by an overly confident Fear Itself squad - Ulik, Serpent, Shao Khan/Skadi: Herald of the Serpent, Gimli/Kuurth: Breaker of Stone, Beast Wars Megatron/Nul: Breaker of Worlds, Princess Leia/Skirn: Breaker of Men, Blanka/Mokk: Breaker of Faith, Marv/Greithoth: Breaker of Wills and Beast Man/Angir: Breaker of Souls confront the Dune behemoths.  The hammer wielders dart around the monsters, smashing and thrashing their weapons and utilizing their enhanced powers against the beasts.  Sandworm #19 falls to the Fear foes, but manages to crush Princess Leia/Skirn:Breaker of Men and Beast Man/Angir: Breaker of Souls in the skirmish.   Sandworm #20 also eventually falls, but manages to kill both Gimli/Kuurth: Breaker of Stone and Marv/Greithoth: Breaker of Wills in the fight.  The remaining Fear itself combatants, exhausted but victorious, move on.

Shemalya. . .

The fetid smells of the Nar Shaddaa sewers waft through the nostrils of young Pinn.  Her tattered clothes encase her sinewy body, as she is drenched in the waters and filth of the concrete pipes.  She has been on the run from the swoop gang for almost ten hours and whenever she seems to gain some ground in escaping their anticipated savagery, she falls again.  The drips echo from the pipes above, lulling her into a dream-like state.  If she ever escapes, she will be sure to change her circumstances in life.  A tough life from birth. . .  

Forest region. . .

Zartan and his biker gang of Dreadnoks - Buzzer, Ripper, Monkey Wrench and Torch slowly ride through the forest region on their motorcycles.  Shado Vao rushes out from behind the trees and uses the Force to push the motorcycles into one another.  Their riders crash to the ground, but the Cobra Industries’ renegades manage to avert total disaster by using their skills to escape sure death.  The Rutian twi’lek ignites his lightsaber and is suddenly joined by Cad Bane, who immediately fires his weapons from both hands.  The Dreadnoks bring out their weapons from behind their wall of demolished motorcycles; Buzzer whips his chainsaw into a frenzy, Monkeywrench raises a couple sticks of dynamite, Road Pig brings out his sledgehammer and Torch ignites his cutting torch.  The explosives’ expert Monkeywrench lights both sticks of dynamite.  As he is about to throw them at Vao and Cad Bane, Wolverine screams from a tree branch above and slices off both of Monkeywrench’s arms.  Wolverine rushes to freedom and the dynamite explodes, shredding the decimated bodies of both Monkeywrench and Ripper. Zartan, Buzzer, Road Pig and Torch survive the blast.     

Road Pig miraculously reaches Bane and smashes the Duros bounty hunter with his sledgehammer.  Cad Bane falls to his knees and is set upon by both Buzzer and Torch.  Bane is both burned and sliced apart at the same time.  While the two Dreadnoks are focused on the burning and dismemberment of Bane, Vao strikes them both down with his lightsaber skills. 

Zartan has no chance against the combined powers of both Wolverine and Vao.  He is killed in only a matter of moments.

Shemalya. . .

She remembers the large hands as they reach around her small body.  The man smiles at her and hugs the young girl close.  Pinn feels warmth and love surrounding her as the man laughs.  She has finally found a home.  She is finally safe.  She is so very wrong. . .

Mountain region. . .

The Grinch and antlered Max stand next to Paul Bunyan and Babe.  They are positioned between Two Headed Ogres #1 and #2.  The Slaves look down the slope and see the Heroes slowly making their way up the path.   Matt Parkman attempts to read the mind of the Grinch and only hears “you’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel.”  Just before he attempts to read the mind of Bunyan he is struck by a rock thrown by Two Headed Ogre #2.  The police officer is crushed underneath the boulder.  Hiro Nakamura grips onto Claire Bennett and transports the duo behind the enemy.  Bennett does a cartwheel while igniting her lightsaber and slices Max in half.  The Grinch screams in anger, but before he is able to reach his pet, is struck down by Hiro with his blue lightsaber.  Before the two can strike again, Babe boots the two across the sky.  Hiro is instantly killed, while Claire lays in a crumpled mass on the rocks below.  The Haitian is taken out by a swipe of Bunyan’s axe.  Peter Petrelli touches Sylar and the two race to the top of the mountain where they easily kill both Two Headed Ogres #1 and #2.  The two Heroes feed off one another’s abilities and manage to kill both Paul Bunyan and Babe. The two, bloodied and weary, walk down the winding trek and pick up a newly reformed and unbroken Bennett. 

City Region. . .

Beavis strolls down the street with his halbeard.  Butthead has his Sith lanvarok extended.  Buttchunk, Wally Trollman, Norville the Dragon, Josh Houslander: Samurai Warrior, Vampire Al Dogg, Simon Phoenix with a M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher, Ass Blaster #1 and Starship Trooper #7 join the motley brigade.  Daniel LaRusso flies out of the sky like an elegant crane, using his green lantern ring and whips around, slicing Starship Trooper #7 in half with his lightsaber.  Care Becks, Shrek-it Ralph, along with Wonder Boy and Young Nasty Man join the fray.  Care Becks waddles down the road and sees Ass Blaster #1, along with a diminished Samurai Warrior.  Houslander unsheathes his kitana blade and Ass Blaster #1 prepares for battle.  Care Becks responds by unsheathing his c@ck. 

Care Becks:  Circed motherf@cker!!!  I’m going to ram it up you’re a$$ blaster a$$ and then make the samurai lick it clean!!!

Care Becks spins in a wizened fury and wraps his legs around Houslander before the warrior can use his samurai skills.  Houslander falls to the ground, turning blue.

Care Becks:  Smell my sweaty, hairy balls a$$hole!!!

Houslander’s neck snaps and he crumples to the ground.  Care Becks then grips Houslander’s kitana blade and rips Ass Blaster #1 a new one.  Ass Blaster #1 falls to the pavement, dead.

Care Becks:  Who’s next you f@cks!?!?!

Vampire Al Dogg jumps on Care Becks and attempts to sink his teeth into the bear’s neck.   He fails as Care Becks skillfully flips the undead over his shoulder.  Butthead unleashes his Sith lanvarok at the bear and instead hits Buttchunck.  Buttchunck dies at the hand of his fellow combatant.   Care Becks turns around and sees Wally Trollman.  Before Trollman can use his magic stick, Care Becks sodomizes the Wallykazam character with his own stick and unleashes its magic. Trollman’s innards explode.   Norville the Dragon flies towards Care Becks in a fit of vengeance and is met by Wonder Boy and Nasty Man, who beats the little dragon to death with their guitars.   Simon Phoenix pulls the trigger on his rocket launcher and both Wonder Boy and Nasty Man are killed in the blast.  Shrek-it-Ralph creeps up behind Phoenix and breaks his neck.  Beavis and Butthead then use their weaponry against Ralph, killing the beast.  LaRusso uses both his lightsaber and ring against the MTV icons and kills both Beavis and Butthead.  Only Vampire Al Dogg remains from the Slaves.

Care Becks:  Back to where you belong, Al Dogg.

LaRusso uses his green lantern ring to shovel a trench.  The green projectile then turns into a giant hedge clipper, which cuts off Vampire Al Dogg’s head.  The undead’s body explodes into a cloud of dust and the ashes fall into the newly-dug ground.  Care Becks walks to the edge of the grave, starts urinating and spits.

Shemalya. . .

She looks upon the red blade as it is ignited.  Once owning a green tipped lightsaber, she marvels at the newly tailored light source of the weapon.  She smiles at the beauty and delicacy of the weapon.  She will strike down her enemies.  She will strike down her master and reign supreme. . .

Plains Region. . .

The Umbara Force adept, Sly Moore, holds out her hand and strikes Eren Jaeger in his human form.  It is only a matter of moments before Jaeger transforms into his titan form and rushes at Moore with a submission lock.  Moore falls down and Jaeger crushes her head.  As he looks up, Coleman Kcjaj and Ki Adi Mundi strike together, killing Jaeger. Battle Pope fires his chaingun at Shindor of Brontic, who easily deflects the projectiles with his lightsaber. The Dark Jedi then slices Battle Pope in half. The Hydra unleashes its ferocity upon Avengelyne and Witchblade.  Unfortunately for the duo, each time they manage to slice a head off, another two rise from the stump.  Eventually the women decide to avoid the beast and instead, focus on the number of Slaves’ Jedi, being Mundi, Kcaj and Platis.   The two mange to kill Ki Adi Mundi, Coleman Kcaj, and Yendar Platis, but fall to the superior strength of Shindor of Brontic, Kol Skywalker and the Hydra. 

Forest Region. . .

Wolverine and Vao join the Musketeers - Athos, Porthos, Aremis and D'Artagian.  The Slaves locate various prey -Donkey Kong, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Uncle Sam, Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E. They realize that there may be others though.

Wolverine:  I like the odds on this one gentlemen.

Donkey Kong senses the enemy and immediately climbs a tree.  At the top of the scrub, the ape begins to throw immense woody projectiles down at his enemy.  A large branch strikes Athos and the blow causes him to die.   Red Lantern Jeff Houslander belches rage plasma from his gullet and burns Porthos, who is unable to use his green lightsaber to defend himself.  Aremis and D’Artagian use their fencing abilities with their green lightsabers to defeat Uncle Sam. The two remaining swordsmen are then killed by Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E.

Houslander:  Four for four Frenchies dead, bi#Ches!!!

Before Houslander can relish further victories, he is struck down by use of the One Ring by Saruman.  Houslander begins to shake off the effects of the spell casting and is struck down by both Boromir with Anduril and Ajax Major with a devil lance.   Donkey Kong screeches at the top of the tree, realizing his time is now limited.  Proof is in the pudding as the Slaves cut the tree down and Donkey Kong falls to his death.   

Shemalya. . .

Shemalya:  You are weak, old man.  Your strength ebbs and wanes, while mine increases tenfold.  What chance do you have against the true Sith Lord?  What chance do you have against Shemalya?

The clashing of lightsabers echoes across the snowy plains of Carlac.  Shemalya gains the upper hand and strikes the cloaked figure down.  She looks down at her former master and smiles.

City Region-Final Battle. . .

The combatants are transported to the City Region for the final battle. 

The Decisions’ squad consists of Ulik, Serpent, Shao Khan/Skadi: Herald of the Serpent, Beast Wars Megatron/Nul: Breaker of Worlds, Nightsister Sith Witch #1/Nerkkod: Breaker of Oceans, Blanka/Mokk: Breaker of Faith, Strong Guy, Sylar, Peter Petrelli, Claire Bennet, Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E., Captain Universe, Daniel LaRusso and Care Becks.

The Slaves’ remaining fighters are Amazo, Fernus, Loki, Wolverine, Shindor of Brontic, Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Sarumon, Boromir, Santa Claus with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Ajax Major and the Hydra.  

The Fear Itself Squad focuses on the Hydra. Ulik, Serpent, Shao Khan/Skadi: Herald of the Serpent, Beast Wars Megatron/Nul: Breaker of Worlds, Nightsister Sith Witch #1/Nerkkod: Breaker of Oceans, Blanka/Mokk: Breaker of Faith combine their forces to defeat the Hydra by not only cutting off the heads, but burning the neck stubs before they can grown back additional maws.  Amazo and Fernus use the Hydra distraction to, one by one, strike and kill its members while busy fighting the Hydra.  They are assisted in this intensive endeavor by Wolverine, Shindor of Brontic and Sarumon.  Care Becks is skewered by Rudolph’s antlers and the bear flies away with the sleigh, looking as Ahab was with his white whale.  LaRusso takes revenge for his brethren’s death and uses Miyogi’s teachings to strike down Claus, Dancer and Vixen.  LaRusso is then sent to the FFL Graveyard one last time by Kol Skywalker’s superior skills and familiarity with a lightsaber and ring.  Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E. kill Ajax Major, who is unable to use his devil lance against the duo before his demise.  Boromir is killed by Strong Guy, who although underutilized, also manages to kill Prancer too before dying at the hands of Loki.   Sylar and Peter Petrelli are killed by Wolverine and Vao.  Bennett, Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E. are killed by Shindor and Skywalker, helped by Sarumon.   Knowing that his team has lost this match, Captain Universe overloads his Uni-Power.  Although the Uni-Power attempts to leave its host before causing catastrophic destruction; it is too late.  Captain Universe perishes, but takes with him Amazo, Shindor of Brontic, Vao, Sarumon and Rudolph. 

Slave’s Locker room. . .

A solitary, black-cloaked figure slowly treads from the locker room.

Wolverine:  You missed the fireworks.  Where the hell were you?!?

Shemalya does not answer, she simply grins, turns around and leads the survivors back to the locker room.

 

 

Extended Week 5

Hello fellow Eff Eff Ellers, we Watchers have decided that due to a few Big Week Collaborations that are in the works as well as some other time constraints that we are going to stretch The Week 5 Match-ups a little longer. The matches will all be posted by this coming up Thursday; and then your Week 6 Teams will begin after Easter and we will resume our normal schedule. I hope this does not upset anybody in the league too much, as we aim to take our time and provide a fun and better product for what can be considered the most important week of the season. I hope you all enjoy the matches and find this short delay to be well worth it.


Thanks,


-Josh