The Season 6 All Star Ballot

As always, The All Star Ballot will be open to anyone who wishes to participate (but please only vote once).

You may vote for up to fifteen characters from each league (thirty total). You do not have to vote from a character from each team, but when the final tally is taken, we will make sure that every team is represented with at least one character. You can vote here in the comment section, or send me an email, a text, a voicemail, a facebook message, tweet, FedEx, psychic message, certified mail, or you can stop by my house and give it to me in person where I will be sure to trade you at least one beer for it. Happy voting everybody, and remember you don't need to be in the league to vote, so if you want your girlfriend, husband, grandmother, roommate, or chiropractor to vote in this, than feel free.

Oh, and don't forget... Write in candidates are not only welcome; but you are also welcome to campaign for them, right here on the message board. This is the only match in the league where the deaths don't count; so have fun with it everybody.

Here is the ballot...

Lucas Conference

The Horsemen of Apokolips
1. Lord Voldemort
2. Superman
3. Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger
4. The Joker
5. Black Lantern Yoda

Shemalabama's Shit-Kickers
1. White Lantern Kyle Rayner
2.(Zombie) Galactus
3. Real Man
4. Predator #33
5. Flamebird

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse
1. Nekron
2. Han Solo: Rogue Jedi
3. Black Lantern Mike Sroka
4. Chris Seney
5. Red Lantern and Star Sapphire Guy Gardner

The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets
1. Emperor Joker
2. Walter Day
3. White Lantern Hal Jordan
4. Bowser: King of Koopa (w/ Orange Lantern Ring)
5. Space Ghost

George Washington's Slaves
1. Prowl(imus Prime)
2. Sauron
3. George Washington
4. Skaar: Son of Hulk
5. Black Lantern Han Solo

President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift's Red Army
1. Earth 2 Superman
2. Force Adept #6
3. Jasper Hale
4. Dora The Explorer
5. Jen Linley

Real Man's Rabble-Rousers
1. Veronica Mars
2. Maria Hill
3. Phil Coulson
4. Darth Maul (w/ Droid legs)
5. Robimus Prime

The Empire
1. Superman Jr.
2. Rick Grimes
3. Black Zero (DC)
4. Black Zero (Mega Man)
5. White Lantern Swamp Thing


Lee Conference

TEAM
1. Red Son Superman
2. (Justice Legion Alpha) Batman
3. Black Lantern Incredible Hulk
4. (Justice Legion Alpha) Superman
5. Black Lantern Darth Vader

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers
1. Red Hulk
2. Fantastic Max
3. FX
4. Poseidon
5. Vampire Yoda

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
1. Spartacus
2. The Lochness Monster
3. General Dorf
4. Lobo the Duck
5. Crixus

Griswold's Nut-busters
1. Slym Dayspring
2. Dexter Morgan
3. Annoying Orange
4. Gambit
5. (Age of Apocalypse) Nightcrawler

Team Sleeping Pussy
1. (Adult) Kid Marvelman
2. Skrull #23
3. Skrull #26
4. Mimic
5. Spider-girl (Mattie Franklin)

The Royal Highness
1. Yoda
2. Vampire Kang
3. Apollo
4. Prof. X
5. The Phantom Stranger

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
1. C.M. Punk
2. Allia Atreides
3. Black Bolt
4. Navy SEAL #47
5. Mandalorian Justin Oblak

Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family
1. Velma
2. Eugene H. Krabs
3. White Lantern Batman
4. Green Arrow
5. Juggernaut

Spoiler Sport Season 6 Wrap-up!

Due to circumstances beyond our control, the anticipated Universe Bowl Edition of Spoiler Sport could not be completed in time. We regret to disappoint our fans, but an emergency situation forced our hand. We feel the video of our last rehearsal will shed light on this subject. Rest assured, we will be back and better than ever for next season!

Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport: Season Six Wrap-Up. Here on the Ocho! The dust has settled and we have crowned a new champion for this year! Congratulations to The Horsemen of Apokolips for besting The Royal Highness en route to winning their second Universe Bowl and setting a new standard for the FFL!

This legendary match began with The Royal Highness' Mysterio boldly declaring victory for his team! This was not the case, as the vile Horsemen had other ideas. We all know what The Horsemen are capable of, but it seems that they sank to new depths of depravity against the benevolent Highness. Indeed, the actions of the despicable HoA reached new lows this year, none more putrid than in the Universe Bowl. The UB Trophy shall be forever tainted thanks to...

"CUT!" yells Ocho Director #17. "Cotton... Is everything ok? You don't seem like yourself today." Cotton McKnight begins to flip the pages of his script, and rapidly scans his lines. "I'm sorry, but this script doesn't seem quite right." explains Cotton. "What do you mean? It's great so far!" counters the director. "Sir, with all due respect, it's not great, its not even good. We here at Spoiler Sport strive to bring our loyal viewers an unbiased account of the FFL, not this... whatever this is. Did we hire some new writers or something?" asks Cotton. "No Cotton, its the same people we've had for quite some time now. I don't see what the problem is, from what I can tell, everything looks great so far!" replies the director. "You don't see a problem? Well, let me help. First of all, look at the adjectives describing the teams. The descriptions of The Horsemen of Apokolips are getting more negative by the minute. And I've read ahead. It only gets worse from here. By the second page, it's already devolved into a hit piece against the Horsemen. And look at this! By the third page, it's turned into a poem called "The Horsemen Can Suck It" Finally, the last page is just a string of nonsensical curse words. If this is what you call news, count me out." explains Cotton McKnight. Ocho Director #17 covers the microphone with his hand. "Cotton, I know what you are saying, and I don't like it one bit either, but this came straight from the top. We don't have a choice. I'm sorry." states the director. Cotton is stunned for a moment before gaining his composure. "Listen, I don't know what he's hoping to accomplish here, but I won't be a part of it. I'm a journalist, not some hack that will read anything put in front of him. I'm a newsman, dammit!" says McKnight angrily. "Cotton, i know. Our hands are tied. I'm sorry." says the director with a defeated look on his face. "I won't do it. This isn't right." Cotton says defiantly. "Cotton, please... think about what you are saying... there's nothing I can do to change your mind?" inquires the director. "As long as I'm a part of Spoiler Sport, this garbage will never see the light of day." declares an angry McKnight. "Well, Cotton... have it your way. You are no longer a part of Spoiler Sport. You're fired."  

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CONCLUSION

THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS

AND ARE CROWNED UNIVERSE BOWL VI CHAMPIONS!!!

Sole Survivor: Life Model Decoy #3

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: EPILOGUE 2: DECEPTION AND A DECOY

            “Tell me the story,” the shadow’s voice echoes.

Mysterio commences his tale.

            “When the Technodrome was first struck by the U.S.S. Enterprise, my particular designation was not fully implemented.  My robotic form was both nebulous and without a functional appearance.  Notwithstanding these issues, the enhancements melded into my form by the Anti-Monitor allowed me to move without obtaining a specific, relevant code which would allow me to mimic a particular subject’s appearance.  Like the other decoys, the augmentation provided by the Anti-Monitor, as well as enrichments supplied by the High Evolutionary, I was able to function as an independent participant, without the necessity of a ‘controller.’

            “I was placed into a Technodrome module before the launch of the vessel, knowing that a certain event would create the opportunity for my form’s release.  The module was pre-programmed to jettison at an exact time to assure my arrival at the city region.  Thanos, although knowing of my existence, was not able to indicate any knowledge in case the opponent was able to position a listening device in the ship, which would deliver my existence to the enemy and foil any plan of secrecy necessary to fool the other side.  To assure that not only sound, but also additional senses would not destroy the secret, certain members of my team, being particularly Thanos, made sure that no life signals would be obtained from any instrument should either vessel, especially the Enterprise, complete a scan of the Technodrome. 

            “There was a calculated risk that the module would not allow me the opportunity to locate anyone and I would sit without having been utilized by my team.  Nonetheless, it was assumed that since the cityscape is often a focal point of Playoff Planet matches, especially with this particular Watcher, it would be safe to conclude that my form would eventually stumble across someone from the other team to mimic. I was to sustain the amorphous form until I was able to locate my prey.

            “After crashing into a building, the viewport of the ship was destroyed, allowing me to escape the module, without having to trigger the locking mechanism of the ship.  Thus, an investigation of the site would prove inconclusive as to whether a life form was actually in the module.  By a magnificent coincidence, the illusionist Mysterio was alone and heard my unprogrammed body near the vessel.  I killed him, taking his form and thus, became a functional and exact double of Quentin Beck.  My next objective was to infiltrate the Royal Highness and position myself to assure my team’s victory. 

            “I eventually was herded back into the fold by the remaining members of the Sinister Six.  My speech patterns, scent, body language and thought patterns, as well as all other biological indicators were perfected such that the Highness, even with all of their telepaths, were unable to suspect my infiltration into their fold.

            “Near the final battle, to assure myself of survival, I allowed my thought pattern to be explored by Exodus, who recognized me as being on his own team.  Instantly knowing that if he hesitated, he would permit the enemy to realize who I actually was, the mutant ‘pushed’ me into the building and created a force shield around my form which managed to sustain me until the finale between Professor Charles Xavier and Joseph, even upon Exodus’ demise.

            “Based upon the calculations provided by my internal wiring, I concluded that although I may have joined the finale, my opponents, if discovering my true form, would most assuredly destroy me.  A mere illusionist, even with some enhanced powers, would not be able to accomplish a victorious resolution over the remaining combatant.  Thus, I waited until the battle was completed between all participants and could remove myself from the encasement surrounding my form. 

 
            “After surveying the decimation remaining in the city, as well as verifying that all combatants were dead through the sky placards, I headed straight to this locker room.  That is my story.  I am now here as the sole survivor of Universe Bowl VI. . .  Quentin Beck. . .  Mysterio. . . Life Model Decoy #3. . . of the Horsemen of Apokolips.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI EXCLUSIVE: A BEARY SPECIAL STORY

            Wish Bear, Friend Bear and Bedtime Bear playfully frolic in a flowery field located on the Horsemen of Apokolips compound. 

            “I’m so glad we have the opportunity to participate in the Universe Bowl,” exclaims an excited Bedtime Bear.

            “Me, too,” says an enthusiastic Friend Bear.  “Like my namesake, I sure want to make a ton of new friends!”

            “Maybe if we holds our paws and wish together, it will happen!” states Wish Bear.

            The three Care Bears hold onto each other’s paws, close their eyes and wish with all their might that they befriend new people on the battlefield.

***

            “You must accomplish this task,” demands One Above All to the High Evolutionary.

            “It is done,” answers High Evolutionary.  “The cloud will achieve our goal.”

***

            As the bears continue to play in the pansies and daisies, a purple cloud floats through the field in which the creatures amuse themselves.

            “That cloud looks a little scary,” whimpers Wish Bear.

            “Remember Wish, they’re only clouds and clouds can’t hurt you,” says Bedtime Bear.

            “Okay!” says Wish Bear.  “I’ll be brave!”

            The cloud magically settles over the area.  The bears breathe in the vapors contained within the fog and suddenly retch.  All bears scream in agony and throw up as they feel their essences being transformed into something more.

            “What the f#ck kinda sh%t was that?!?!” shouts Friend Bear.

            “Shut your punka$$ mouth, or I’m gonna put a cap in your b#%cha$$,” shrieks Wish Bear.

            The bears begin to fight amongst each other until they exhaust themselves.  They look at one another and laugh.

            “Let’s head back,” says Friend Bear.  “They’re going to call us real soon to the Bowl.”

            The trio head back to the compound and see gas being fueled into the Artrip pimpmobile.

            “This b#%cha$$ ride is gonna be mine and I’m gonna pimp it out,” Friend Bear states. 

            “You can hold shotgun,” instructs Friend to Bedtime.  “I’m driving and Wish can push the pedals.”

            “Deal,” states Bedtime and Wish in unison.

            “I’m going to beef up the tuneage with some block rockin’ beats,” exclaims Bedtime Bear.

            “And don’t forget to strap,” say Wish Bear.

            The three bears hum along to a Black Eyed Peas’ song as they commence their tasks.  They smile and anticipate the forthcoming battle.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXXIII: THE AWAKENING

            A scattering of boards is tossed aside as the form of Mysterio shambles through the building’s door.  He sees both the decimation and devastation which now litter the cityscape.  The illusionist attempts to clear his head and begins his journey. 

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXXII: MAESTRO AND MAGNETISM

            “You have a bit of blood flowing from your nostrils, Joseph,” says Xavier as he makes a wiping gesture.

            Joseph cleans his nose on the back of his arm. 

            “It happens in war, Charles,” quips Joseph, “people die; sides lose; all a part of the game.”

            “This is not a game, my friend,” corrects Professor X.  “You are dying.  The strain suffered by you pushing yourself too far in the creation of your monster has wounded both body and mind.”

            “My death shall not be in vain,” replies Joseph, thinking how he came to this point in his life, realizing that it all started with the loss of the bears to his weaponized submarine.

            The veins on Joseph’s forehead begin to bulge as pieces of his previous monster are melded together with Metroplex.  Professor X will not allow the enemy to accomplish his goal of creating another monstrosity.  Xavier focuses all of his attention on Joseph’s brain and projects a psionic blast at the already weakened mind of Joseph.  Droplets of blood begin to tear from Joseph’s eyes.

            “I know what you have done to me, Charles!” shouts Joseph.  “It’s not enough!!!”

            Joseph’s partially created invention fires a laser at the hover chair of Xavier. Professor X is thrown from his transport as the chair explodes and then is vacuumed into Joseph’s creation.

            “Everything you have is mine, Charles,” states Joseph.  “Everything!!!”

            Through bloodshot eyes, Joseph throws his left arm up and a piece of his beast, previously Xavier’s chair, flies from its formation, piercing the side of Professor X.  Xavier screams is agony.  In response, Xavier unleashes a mind blast upon Joseph, who wails at the overloaded information scrambling through his brain.  The blast is followed by another psionic blast aimed at Joseph’s mind.  Joseph feels the effects of the two blows as blood begins to stream out of his ears now.

            “No more!” shouts Joseph as his monster falls upon an immobile Charles Xavier, crushing the life from the mutant.

            A grin creeps across Joseph’s face.  He attempts to walk a few steps and stumbles, falling to the ground.  Blood flows from the clone’s eyes, ears and nose.  The last sight Joseph sees before closing his eyes forever is the heads of three smiling bears staring at him.  Joseph dies with a smile on his face.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXXI: FURY OF THE PHOENIX

            The two Omega level mutants create a stargate.  The portal places them directly next to Eradicator.  Before the true battle begins, the two release controlled projections of cosmic fire which destroys the blaster in the hands of Eradicator.  If the women are to be bested by this opponent, it will be at the hands of the Kryptonian himself and not by a weapon transported from another realm. 

            Eradicator reacts at the loss of his weapon and utilizes his super speed and strength in a battery of strikes against the Phoenix-strewn women.  The pair’s battered bodies hurtle through buildings.  The duo shakes off the initial effects of the battle.

            “We took down Metroplex,” states Grey, “this should be a piece of cake.”

            Summers screams.  “My body. . . dangerously close to breaking. . .  too much power flowing through me!”

            “Hold it together, Hope!” instructs Grey.  “We can do this!”

            Eradicator calculates the numerous scenarios associated with the match and attempts to derive how they all conclude.  Eradicator decides to focus on the weakest link of the pair due to her apparent inability to properly control the powers within her; the target is Hope Summers.  He will attempt to further overload the powers of the mutant.

            “Hello, my voodoo doll,”  Eradicator says to Summers.

            “Welcome to Hell!” replies Grey in the place of her friend.

            The battle between the three combatants decimates the nearby structures as they unleash upon each other a hurricane of fury.  They are relentless in trying to obtain their mutual objectives in destroying the enemy.   Eradicator repetitiously pummels Summers, while Grey focuses on the protection of her liege.  After several painstaking skirmishes, Summers, although a mutant with an ability of unspecified limits, begins to boil to a point of no return.  The twin-Phoenix powers, although enough to destroy Eradicator, proves too much for herself.

            Summers lets loose with enough power to rip Eradicator apart.  She turns to Grey and smiles after accomplishing which so many others were unable to do.  After a moment of silence, Summers screams; the cosmic powers seem to be ripping their host apart.

            “It’s too much!” shouts Summers.

            “You can control it!” screams Grey.  “You have to for us all!”

            “I’m sorry. . .” whispers Summers as the double dose of Phoenix Force overloads and disintegrates both her and Grey in the explosion.  The landscape around the area appears to have fallen in a hopeless apocalypse.

            The smoke and dust settle.  The shadows of two combatants can be seen as the fog dissipates.

            “Charles. . .” says a maddened Joseph.

            “Joseph. . .” replies a calm Xavier.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXX: FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX

            Metroplex scans the remaining inhabitants of the city complex.  The robot computes that he alone has the capacity to complete his team’s endeavor and he will attempt to accomplish said task. The Autobot locates Joseph.  As he is about to destroy the mutant, he is struck by cosmic fire.

            “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size,” demands Phoenix.

            “I would if I could find one," responds Metroplex as he blasts Phoenix out of the sky.  “The last one provided by your team was a fraud.”

            Phoenix crumbles to the ground.  She barely manages to escape behind a small building. 

            “Looks like you can use some help,” states Hope Summers creeping toward her teammate.

            “Girl power,” smirks Grey.

            Summers uses her mimicry powers to parallel the essence of Grey as the Phoenix.  In addition, she uses her link to the Phoenix Force, itself.  The unrivaled powers rip through Summers and she screams at the agony surging through her body.  Summers falls to her knees and slowly imbibes the energy within her. 

            “Okay?” asks Grey.

            “Okay,” stammers Summers. 

            “Let’s rock!” shouts Grey as the two women take to the air.

            The giant unleashes a barrage of weaponry at the flying mutants.  The pair is struck simultaneously.  Due to the sheer force of the fusillade provided by Metroplex, the two are thrown through several buildings. The duo eventually slows down and shakes off the blows produced by Metroplex.

            “Ready?” asks Grey.

            “As much as I can be,” answers a shaky Summers.

            Before the women are able to instigate their plan of destruction, they are both backsided by the arms of Metroplex.  The women’s bodies crunch to the ground.  Metroplex is about to finish his enemies, when the two hold each other’s hands and together, psionically manipulate the matter that composes Metroplex.  The two women shake at the strain caused by this action, but they manage to both rearrange and disintegrate the robot at a subatomic level.  The Autobot’s massive body quakes and explodes.  The two women are victorious, but seriously drained at the intensity of the battle. 

            In unison they look to the sky and see Eradicator. 

            “No time like the present,” mutters a tired Grey.

            A weary Summers sighs, dusts off the dirt on her costume and readies for battle.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXIX: A HIDEOUS HORROR

            “Behold the birth of my creation!” shouts Joseph.

            The shambling mound that trudges toward the metropolis is the size of a small city.  The stench and decay emanating from the horror is overwhelming.  The bulk is a hybrid of mechanical and organic components, perfectly blended together into a massive, mountainous monstrosity.

            The living embodiment of Autobot City crashes through numerous buildings to reach Joseph’s production.  Metroplex smashes through the heap without the monster suffering any major damage.  In response, a magnetic seal unlocks and a photon torpedo is shot from its encased home within the beast.  Metroplex is rocked as the explosion strikes the Autobot.  A barrage of lasers and rockets then fire from other funnels contained within the monstrosity, rattling Metroplex and toppling him over.

            “Yes.  Yes!  Yes!!!!” screams a maddened Joseph. 

            Metroplex locates the master of his enemy and fires at the mutant clone.  Although Joseph manages to dodge the blasts by throwing a protective shield around him using the magnetic frequencies of the area, he is distracted and loses his controlling link with his monster.  This allows Metroplex to gain the advantage in the battle.  Metroplex unleashes all of his weaponry upon Joseph’s abnormality.  The formation is ripped apart. 

            Joseph screams in dismay as his behemoth is destroyed.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXVIII: TITAN TRASH TALKING

            “You have been a thorn on the side of this team for far too long now,” says BL Thanos.

            Eradicator uses his computer-enhanced mind to compute and process information at incredible speed to determine what he must do to best his adversary.   He decides that he must whip Thanos into a frenzy.  If the alien cannot think properly while in this fight, it will open several opportunities for Eradicator to win this battle. If thinking accurately, Thanos’ superior intellect will disallow any upper hand that Eradicator may have in the skirmish.

            “Just doing my job, prune face,” answers Eradicator.

            BL Thanos grumbles in response.

            “Seems like I know now why you are called the Mad Titan,” quips Eradicator.

            Thanos bellows.  The alien has had enough of the adolescent insults and projects a vast amount of cosmic energy at Eradicator.  The Kryptonian absorbs the brunt of the blast, but the pressure still throws him across the sky and through a large city structure. 

            “A moniker I claim as a badge of honor,” states BL Thanos. 

            Thanos rushes over to Eradicator and utilizes his skills as a master in hand-to-hand combat.  Eradicator blocks several of the Titanian Eternal’s strikes, but he is not able to deflect all.  A wounded Eradicator hobbles away, but shakes off the damage and readies himself for battle.

            “I am over two hundred thousand years old, my Accutane-infested adversary.  As I have survived all these years, I will also reign triumphant today.  I have already proven my worth several times in this match and will continue to do so again.”

            Eradicator swoops through the sky and grabs Thanos in a bear hug.  Due to the grip, Thanos is unable to project any cosmic blasts.  On the other hand, Eradicator uses the powers coded from the genetic template of Superman and uses his heat vision to sear the mutant’s face and blind him.  Eradicator throws a hobbled Thanos onto the ground where the beast takes out close to a mile of concrete and asphalt.    The two continue to grapple in various ways, laying devastation throughout the entire town.

            “One blind Titan; One blind Titan; See how he whimpers; See how he whimpers. . .” chides Eradicator.

            Although unable to see, an enraged Thanos decides to use both the powers of his ring and cosmic abilities to gain the upper hand.  Before Eradicator is able to complete his self-revised children’s poem, Thanos actually manages to bat Eradicator through several towers with a slap of his ring’s projectiles and blasts of cosmic energy.  Eradicator lands on his knees and jettisons back toward Thanos.  Eradicator decides to quash any ability of Thanos to gain back his senses and uses his powers to retrieve Kryptonian technology through both space and time. 

            “I believe one of your own teammates coined this phrase – yipee ki yay motherf#cker.”

            The weapon Eradicator acquired blasts Thanos.  Thanos screams as he is ripped apart; the Mad Titan is killed.  Eradicator smiles and computes that if he continues to lay waste to the Horsemen, he may be looked upon as the most valuable player of the Universe Bowl.  It would be an honor to sustain him through next year’s matches.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: EPILOGUE

           The steel door slides open and Mysterio shambles through the portal of his team’s locker room.  He walks down the cold and barren hallway toward his intended destination.  His mind is desolate and free from any thought as he wades toward oblivion.

He stops at a single, silver door and takes a deep breath.  The door opens and he sees a sitting body cast in shadow.

“I see you have survived,” the voice echoes.  “In fact. . . you are the lone survivor.”

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXVII: DANGEROUS DOPPELGANGERS

           “It seems we have some business to attend to,” states Jean Grey in her vampire form.

“It will be a short venture for you, I’m afraid,” answers Phoenix.

Phoenix unleashes a psionic blast at her counterpart.  Grey throws up a protective bubble so that the blast bounces off the force field.

“I have no time for this,” states Phoenix.

Phoenix lashes out at the vampire with a bout of cosmic fire.  The force rips through Grey’s shield and singes her body to a crisp.  Phoenix flies toward Grey’s husk and puffs her cheeks out.  She blows toward the vampire’s statuesque body and the ashes blow away.

“Not too much of a fight,” hollers Phoenix to the spectator across the way, “was it Charles?”

Phoenix flies toward her teammates, anticipating a final strategy session, followed by a battle royale.

Xavier is left speechless.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXVI: TELEPATHIC TRIUMPH

            Exodus teleports to his desired destination.  He is confronted by Professor X and Vampire Jean Grey.

“I have received reports from my team of your Enterprise exploits.  So, you have since abandoned your shuttle and have decides to stand on your own two feet. . .” smiles Exodus.  “Oh. . .  sorry, Charles. . . my bad.”

“You will pay for that insult,” claims Grey.  She turns to Xavier, who hovers on a sled-like structure.  “Let me rip out his throat!”

“Jean, you must excuse his arrogance and lack of manners,” states Xavier.  “He is French.”

Grey smiles, her long canines protruding from her red lips.

“Enough talk,” says Grey.

The vampire springs at Exodus, but is unable to latch onto the mutant since he teleports away.  When the man returns, Professor X telekinetically pulls him toward his accomplice.  Grey latches on to Exodus and tears into his throat.  Exodus teleports again, bringing Grey with him.  When he reappears this time, Grey is being shoved to the ground by Bennett.

Xavier knows that he must instantly react in order to save his teammate and thus, projects a psionic blast at Exodus.  The Frenchman is struck savagely and as a result, releases Grey from his hold.  Grey skitters away to safety. 

“A fun time is being had by all!” shout Exodus.

“Not for long,” mutters Professor X.

Xavier utilizes his superior intellect to derive a tactical advantage and instigate a strategy to defeat the enemy. 

Jean, Professor X telepathically calls to his teammate.

I am here, Charles, responds Grey.

I need for you to keep him distracted, orders Xavier.

An easy task, answers Grey.

The vampire leaps at Exodus, who decides to fight the woman instead of teleporting away.  A serious of blows is suffered by each as they both strike one another several times.  Neither combatant shrugs away from the other.

While the two battle, Xavier’s essence leaves his body by a means of astral projection.  He travels to the mind of Exodus to find a weakness in his enemy.  Eventually finding one, he floats back to his physical form.

“Seems like we have a stalemate,” says Exodus to Grey.

Grey turns to Xavier and sees her teacher’s face.

“I don’t think so anymore, mon ami’,” states Grey.  “Charles?”

Professor X concentrates and thrusts forth a mental blast that renders Exodus’ brain into overload.  The eyes of Exodus turn empty as his mind transforms into a puddle of goo.  Exodus’ body shuts down and he falls to the ground.

“My turn,” says Grey.

Jean Grey walks toward Exodus and unleashes a fury, turning the mutant’s body into a gory mess.  Being that both the body and mind of Exodus are decimated, the mutant is unable to heal and eventually dies.

 “You know what they say,” rhetorically states a bloodied Grey, “only good Frenchman is a dead one,”

Professor X laughs until he looks to the sky.  Grey follows Xavier’s eyes.

“I must do this alone,” says Grey.

“I know,” responds a solemn Xavier.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXV: MONSTROSITY MADNESS

           Joseph trudges down the street toward the city.  Sweat beads his forehead due to the strain suffered by the mutant clone as he presses his abilities to their utmost capacity.  Behind Joseph shambles a monstrosity composed of various body parts and inanimate objects.  It took a lot of time and scavenging of the different sections of the Playoff Planet, using the teleportation disks, to create this masterpiece. Pieces of lost combatants, along with components comprised of the U.S.S. Enterprise, Technodrome and submarine create the essence of the mound. 
 

          Joseph looks upon his work of art and smiles, especially at the heads of three care bears, which are the focal point of the entire Akira-esque malformation.  The mutant, clearly lost in his own world of horror, walks on, anticipating the finale between the two teams. 

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXIV: THE SINISTER SKIRMISH

The figures stand and face one another at a cross section of two roads within the city’s landscape.

“I have been alive since the twelfth century,” laughs Exodus.  “What chance does a spattering of humans have against my immortality?”

“Paris Bennett, or Bennet Du Paris, or whatever you may be calling yourself these days,” says Hobgoblin from his glider, “we’re more than a spattering of humans.  We are Americans, who are a lot stronger willed than you French, who only seem to be good at bending over to all others of the world.”

While distracted by the words of Hobgoblin, two arms of Doctor Octopus shoot out from their apparatus and smash the mutant in the face.  A dazed Exodus is then hit by three pumpkin bombs.  The projectiles throw him across the road in a field of exploding concrete. Electro attempts to reach the enemy, but Exodus teleports away.  Missing his chance, Electro bolts into the city’s electrical system through a conductor on the street.

The mutant’s healing ability ignites into overdrive and, after gaining his wits again, he focuses on an airborne Hobgoblin and throws the mercenary off his mount with his mind. 

“Takes more than that to keep me away from my pet,” cackles the Hobgoblin as the glider reaches its master.  Hobgoblin jumps on his vehicle and Macendale rises to the air.

While Exodus arrives under a utility pole, Electro arcs from one of the wires and reaches the mutant.  Max Dillon unleashes a full charge of energy into Exodus, which rips both across and through the body of the Frenchman.  Exodus screams in pain and falls to the ground. 

Mysterio appears in front of Exodus from a cloud of smoke.  Exodus cocks his head and Mysterio throws a perfectly timed punch across his face.  Exodus scoffs at the blow and telekinetically pushes the illusionist through the door of a building across the street.  A loud crash and pop is heard.  Quentin Beck does not return to the fight.

“One down,” says Exodus. “Not so sinister with only three. . . I shall now rename you the ‘Toddler Three’.”

Doctor Octopus is enraged at the insult.  He reaches a pack which is lodged at the side of a hydrant.  From the carrier, Doc Ock removes a blaster and fires at Exodus.  The weapon brings Exodus to his knees.

As all villains appear to be consumed with, Doctor Octopus finds it necessary to explain what the weapon is and what is happening to his enemy. 

“When we first arrived in the city searching for the Technodrome’s module, we came upon a laboratory.  Within the lab were components which I used to create this weapon.  You can see that it is now draining your psionic energy,” states Doctor Octopus.  “It will be only a matter of moments before you die.”

Exodus becomes unsteady and lurches to the road below.  The mutant reaches his arm from the ground and begins to twist his hand in various movements.  The weapon in Doc Ock’s hand suddenly begins to disassemble and reassemble.  The newly constructed weapon is ripped from Doc Ock and flies to the hands of Exodus.

A rejuvenated Exodus turns around and fires the weapon at the electrical line directly above him.  Electro falls out of the line.  The villain appears unable to control the current flowing through his body.  While Exodus continues to fire his weapon at Electro, he throws his other arm out and rips a street lamp from the ground.  The pole is projected across the way and impales Dillon.  His twitching body dwindles and eventually dies.    

Ock rips the weapon from Exodus and crushes it in his arms. 

“I don’t need a weapon to best the two of you,” says Exodus.  “I am a weapon!”

Exodus uses his powers to throw Macendale off his glider and into a wall.  The mutant’s mind then takes control of the glider.  The transport races toward its owner and lodges into his chest.  Hobgoblin’s dead body hangs from the glider, which is wedged into a structure’s exterior. 

“I seem to remember this happening before to another goblin. . .” smiles Exodus. 

Exodus faces Doctor Octopus.  The arms of Octopus begin to curl into themselves.

“I. . . can’t. . . control. . . my. . . arms. . .” struggles Octopus.

“You are correct,” says Exodus, in a matter of fact manner.

The villain is crushed by his own appendages. 

“Americans, or not, you are still only mere humans. . .”

Exodus grins and teleports away.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXIII: A BOMBARDMENT OF BASHING AND BRAVADO

            Entire buildings topple as a relentless cannonade of energy bursts and a fusillade of sheer strength are utilized by the combatants.  Doomslayer and Annihilus lock themselves together in an embrace of extinction while Eradicator and Vulcan grapple in a dance of destruction. 

“An ugly beast you are,” vocalizes Annihilus.  “An ugly death you deserve.”

Doomslayer bellows at the insult.  The hybrid throws Annihilus through one of the buildings, shattering a tunnel of glass, plaster, mortar and steel.  Before Annihilus can shake the effects of this pummeling, Doomslayer repeatedly crushes the Anthrosian with a barrage of blows.  If not for the insectoid exoskeleton armor worn by Annihilus, the alien would have been destroyed ten times over. 

***

Vulcan sees Eradicator’s body screaming toward him.  Gabriel Summers immediately encases himself in a force field and manipulates the layer so that it becomes a clear sheen against his body.  Eradicator grabs Vulcan and smashes him through a building’s interior.  Although Vulcan feels the impact, he does not experience true pain because of his protective coating. 

Vulcan eventually gains his wits and attempts to siphon the energy from Eradicator.  Eradicator is struck by the blast and falls to the ground, destroying the concrete in a twenty yard circumference emitting from the impact.  Vulcan then projects a burst of energy that throws Eradicator through a tower, shredding it in the process and toppling it to the ground. 

***

            The Lord of the Negative Zone wields his cosmic control rod in order to destroy Doomslayer.  The first blast from the rod is only a hindrance to the Doomsday entity.  Annihilus determines that the second use of his weapon must be more effective.  Annihilus does not hold back the rod’s power and he unleashes the full cosmic powers of the weapon upon Doomslayer.  The beast screams in agony before his body shudders and then explodes.

Annihilus cackles and is suddenly struck from behind by Eradicator.   Eradicator flips Annihilus around so that the alien faces his own cosmic control rod. 

“Let’s see how you like it,” coldly states Eradicator.

Eradicator uses the rod to manipulate the molecular structure of Annihilus.  Annihilus becomes discombobulated and is then struck by a concussive force that shatters the essence of his being and kills him.  Eradicator soars from the ended skirmish toward the remaining mutant.

“It is but you and I now,” chides Vulcan. 

Eradicator uses his computer-like analytical ability again and without a sound flies at Vulcan.  Vulcan shoots an energy blast at Eradicator, who shrugs off the strike.  Eradicator uses his newfound weapon, which he is able to control due to his enhanced abilities, and disrupts the protective shield around Vulcan.  Before Summers can react, a fist smashes through his skull.  The Kryptonian entity shakes Vulcan’s body from his hand and flies away.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXII: TALK OF THE TELEPATHS

            The telepaths of the Horsemen look to one another and speak without moving their lips.  Their minds chime with the words pushed through their silent powers.

I see many conclusions to this battle; most not appeasing to our side, says Exodus to a hovering Phoenix.

Like all timelines though, there are alternates to which we can attempt to edge toward, answers Phoenix.

There is not, interrupts Professor X.  I believe the outcomes all lead to only one finale. . . an end where the Royal Highness is triumphant.

I, myself, believe that the streams flow toward a victory for the Horsemen of Apokolips, returns Exodus.

Enough banter gentlemen, orders Phoenix.  We will settle this debate on the battlefield.

As will we, sister, says Vampire Jean Grey.  You may be a more powerful incarnation of myself, but even you are no match for what follows.

Your hubris will be your undoing, states Phoenix. As it is with all your vampire kind. 

In battle shall we meet, Grey invites.

And to that I shall look forward to, responds Phoenix.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXI: BLACK ATTACK

             BL Yoda races back to his Horsemen teammates.

“On the verge of losing his mind, he is,” says the Jedi Master to his comrades. ”The dark side to Joseph has it engulfed.”

“If we lose him, what chance do we stand?” asks Hope Summers.

“We cannot dwell on what might occur,” states Exodus.  “We need to focus on only one thing. . . winning the Bowl.”

“If Joseph is lost,” rasps Annihilus, “do we have others to replace his abilities?”

“Did we lose everyone on the Technodrome?” asks Vulcan.

“All three LMDs,” states BL Thanos.  “We were able to convert the two advanced models, but the third was lost in the ship’s destruction.”

“No additional element of surprise then,” says Vulcan.

“We don’t need surprise,” claims Phoenix.  “We succeed on sheer power alone.”

Annihilus points to the sky.  The team follows his outstretched arm and looks above to view BL Dumbledore flying to his team’s section of the city. 

BL Yoda and BL Thanos take to the air.

***

BL Albus Dumbledore stops and hovers.  The wizard lantern faces BL Yoda and BL Thanos.

“I am not surprised to see you among the survivors,” states Dumbledore to Thanos, “especially since you have attempted to hide the continued existence of both Pryor and I assume Summers.  I have already notified my team through my connection with Professor X.”

Thanos grins in response to the conclusions of his enemy.

“A cultivated assumption, Dumbledore,” says Thanos.

“My team is ready for all you tried to hide and we have in place a counter for all of your trickery,” quips Dumbledore.

“Smart you think your team to be; fate shall only tell.  Victorious in your prior battle you may be,” says BL Yoda, “but prevail in the war you shall not.” 

BL Yoda ignites his lightsaber and projects a black shield from his ring.  BL Dumbledore replies by swishing his wand in one hand, while creating an energy sword construct in the other.  BL Thanos simply hovers, contemplating his next educated move.

“So, we are evenly matched aren’t we my friends,” says BL Dumbledore. 

“Not even close,” responds BL Thanos. 

BL Thanos and BL Yoda soar toward Dumbledore.  BL Yoda reaches Dumbledore first. Dumbledore’s sword construct strikes Yoda’s shield, while Yoda’s lightsaber glances off of Dumbledore’s casted spell.   Thanos rushes into the fray and projects a cosmic energy blast, which Dumbledore barely manages to escape. Hogwarts’ Headmaster twists his body and focuses on Yoda again.

“Expelliarmus!” shouts Dumbledore.  “Expelliarmus!!!”

Yoda’s lightsaber flies from his deadened hand, followed by his shield, which dissipates at the connection loss to his ring. 

The Jedi Master calmly floats, looking at his enemy.

“Expelliarmus,” whispers Dumbledore.

Yoda look down in disbelief at his finger.  The ring floats in front of his inanimate eyes.  Yoda fades into dust.

Dumbledore turns to the location of Thanos.

“And now for you,” begins Dumbledore.

“I doubt that,” says Thanos as he unleashes congruent beams of ring and cosmic energies that shred Dumbledore’s body and ring, ripping him apart. 

Thanos, knowing that he is one of two remaining Horsemen members who will enter the final graveyard should he fail in this fight, flies toward his team.