Monday, May 7, 2012

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Black Lantern General Grevious, John Moses Browning (w/ mandalorian armor), Moon Knight, Teddy Roosevelt (w/ a green lantern ring), Vincent, Michael Weston (w/ 5N FAL Assault Rifle), Fiona Glenane, Sam Axe (w/ OM 202 1 FLASH Rocket Launcher), Black Lantern Qui Gon Jinn, Raylon Givens, Burt Gummer, Heather Gummer, Zombie Arwen, Steven Segal (w/ the good samaritan), Jay (w/ a flamethrower), Silent Bob (w/ a pokeball), Suzanne, The Sons of Anarchy: Spike, Piermont “Piney” Winston, Quinn, Clarence “Clay” Morrow, Jury, Seamus Ryan, Jackson “Jax” Teller, Needles, Alexander “Tig” Trayer, Kozik, Robert “Bobby Elvis” Munson, Happy, “Big Otto” Delaney, Lenny “The Pimp” Jonowitz, Juan Carlos “Juice” Ortiz, Flip “Chips” Telford, and Harry “Opie” Winston, Oscar the Grouch, Kingpin, Ematajoca (w/ a Sith Lavarouk), Machete, Capt. Marvel II, (movie) Starscream, Squirrel Girl, and Squirrel #1=15.

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Wolverine, Boba Fett (w/ double-bladed red lightsaber), Zombie Darth Maul, Oblivion, Black Zarak, The Chaos King, Deathstorm, Peraxxus, The Signalmen #1-4, Tenderheart Bear, Hermione Granger, and Matt Oblak (w/ mandalorian armor and green and blue lightsabers).


It didn't take long for Kingpin and The Sons of Anarchy to come in to Vegas and slice out their own piece of the pie. The Vegas Police have had no success and have basically given up on trying to quell their operation; and “The Sons of Anarchy Casino” has become the hottest new underground facility for the less desirables to desire. The Chaos King, Peraxxus, The Signalmen and and Black Zarak stay outside, while the rest of The Backyardigan Crew led by Hermione Granger (FFL P.R. Coordinator extraordinaire) herself waltz right in to The Murderflies haven of immorality (and fun) just like they own the place. “They claim that we are heavily outnumbered in this match”. Says the feisty and well-prepared Backyardigan Hermione. “Out-numbered, but not outmatched” says Wolverine to the young wizard. With that being said, the entire Sons of Anarchy Crew comes out from behind a cluster of pool tables and slot machines, just like in an old Steven Segal movie; in fact now that I mention it, Segal is in this match and is with them as well. The Backyardigan's trust in their team, but they realize as outnumbered as they are that they can't focus the whole squad in one place. Wolverine turns to Boba Fett and says: “You ready bub”. Boba nods to the mutant, knowing that the two of them are going to have to take on this entire crew alone; while Hermione leads the rest of their team in to another room of the illegal casino to search out further skirmishes. Starscream is patrolling the air around his team's casino when he notices the members of B3 that have stayed outside. He radios in for some back-up, and decides to take on the threat now, while they have the man-power to do so. Kingpin decides to send out Black Lantern Grevious, Zombie Arwen, Capt. Marvel, and The Bull Moose outside to help Starscream. While Starscream and his back-up mount an attack against The Chaos King and his squad of “dudes who were to big to go in to the casino” and Wolverine and Boba Fett are busy with The Sons of Anarchy Bikers; there is plenty of other action taking place simultaneousely. Black Lantern Qui Gon and Zombie Darth Maul have continued the feud they had in life in to death and are locked in a black lantern construct saber/double-bladed rusty red lightsaber battle. The two undeaded force-users move swiftly against one another as they jump from the tops of craps tables to poker table to bar tops. Although Master Jinn has retained more of his wisdom and intelligence in his black lantern form than Lord Maul has in his zombie form, it wasn't exactly intelligence and wisdom that won Maul the fight the first time around either. Maul manages to pop up Qui Gon's construct saber and get underneath it with his own to destroy him much like he did the first time these two met. Oblivion feels strange going up against the team that originally drafted (the regular) Kyle Rayner in round three of the Season One Draft (**Guy Gardner and G' Nort were first and Howard the Duck was second). But the strange feeling only helps fuel his evil side as he rips through the conventional weaponry of Burt and Heather Grummer, before they even have time to blame the democrats for their plight and then sends a green construct of a machete through Machete. Raylon Givens puts up very little resistance to the powers of Deathstorm, and although Vincent nearly uses his ability to be one of the coolest movie characters ever against Deathstorm; while he is attempting to put two bullets in his chest and one in his head, it still is not enough to take out the dead version of Firestorm (who was acquired earlier this year in a multi-character trade involving Darth Talon with The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets earlier this season). In the ally behind the casino Oscar the Grouch and Tenderheart Bear are locked in an amazing deathmatch, while Matt Oblak is in the heart of the casino winning more money at the Black Jack Table than Al Gore at a Chinese Millionaire Convention. Hermione walks up to Matt and says: “What in the bloody hell is going on here Matt? Get your head in the game, we have a match to win”. “Don't worry about me sweetheart” Matt says arrogantly as he holds up a giant garbage bag full of fifteen dead squirrels and then nudges the severed head of Squirrel Girl with his bloodied Mandalorian Foot Gear. Hermione's frown turns in to a smile as she says: “Damn your good Oblak”. The two of them both slam free Gin and Tonics and start furiously making out with one another. The jump on to the Black Jack Table and start feeling each other up as they are met with wild stares from much of the casino. But, how could this be? What about Teresa and Ron Weasaly? You ask... Well, don't worry... cause... WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After seeing this slight moral transgression take place, Ematajoca yells: “Oblak!! You two-timing Mimbo!! Didn't last night mean anything to you” Ematajoca then fires all three circular blades from her Sith Lavarouk. The first misses, the second is deflected by Oblak's quickly drawn blue lightsaber; but the third catches him right between the eyes. Hermione blasts Ematajoca in the heart with her wand to kill her before she can do anymore damage; but alas... Her heart is already broken. Back outside, Peraxxus has used his cosmic powers to obliterate Black Lantern Grevious, while The Chaos King has stomped Zombie Arwen like we kind of wanted something big and powerful to after she was in The Lord of the Rings for 16 more scenes than she should have been. Starscream and Capt. Marvel both blow through a Signalman (#1 and #3) before Capt. Marvel uses his super-strength to take out their leader Peraxxus as well. Starscream flies through the air like a Decepticon-possessed as he takes out one more of The Signalmen (#4) inbetween aerial feats. He then uses his Cybertronian-aided Conventional Weaponry and his own Cybertronian Metal Body to blast through the face of The Chaos King for an amazing kill (that will end up being his last). The wounded Starscream crashes to the ground and is working on getting back up to get back in to the battle when Black Zarak flies in to the scene to finish him off by crushing his chest and his spark. Back inside Moon Knight manages to move a bit more swiftly than Zombie Darth Maul and uses a well-paced kick to remove the rotting head of The former Sith Lord. We now return to Wolverine and Boba Fett who began back to back in their battle against The Sons of Anarchy. Wolverine has skewered Quinn, Piney, and Jury; while Boba Fett used his rifle to blast Jax and Trig. Boba then pulled out his double red lightsaber (his prize for winning The Universe Bowl, I might add) to run through Opie and Chips. Both of The Backyardigans (I still just love referring to characters like Wolverine and Boba Fett as “Backyardigans”) have sustained heavy gunfire from the bikers, but so far nothing that Fett's Mandalorian Armor and Wolverine's healing factor couldn't ward off. Steven Segal fires the Good Samaritan at Wolverine, but the mutant is able to dodge it with a somersault and then come up under the anti-semite with a claw thrust to the lower chin. Boba Fett flies up into the rafters for a moment with his jet pack and when he comes down takes out Clay, Spike, and Seamus Ryan in one fell swoop. Needles, Kozik, and Bobby Elvis come running at Wolverine in unison with a shotgun, a broken pool cue, and a large chain in their respective hands; but it still is nowhere near enough to take out Wolvie. Boba Fett then cleans up the rest of the mess as he takes out Big Otto, The Pimp, and Juice with a thermal detonator. Hermione Granger is spotted by Silent Bob who begins to pointing to her while tapping Jay on the shoulder because he is so surprised to actually see her get the start in a battle. “Holy S**t Silent Bob!! It's that magic chick that never gets played... The Wicked Witch of the F&*(^ng East!! Silent Bob shakes his head while he throws his pokeball at her and doesn't say (cause he's Silent Bob): “Charmeleon: I choose you”. Charmeleon pops out of his pokeball and joins not only this match, but The Murderflies roster as Silent Bob's sidekick/buddy. Charmeleon's first appearance does not prove to be quite as stellar as Hermione's as she blasts both him and their other furry friend Suzanne the Orangatan with her wand. Jay yells: “Oh s**t Silent Bob... We done just got pissed off” as he fires up his flamethrower. “Hey you little magic B^&)^ch!! You ever played with a little wand attached to a fat man in an overcoat”?!!? But Hermione uses her mastery of spells to take out the two stoners before they can do any real damage. Oscar the Grouch comes out of his can to take on Tenderheart Bear, but the seasoned Backyardigan, and former Parallax entity holder begins ripping away at his green fur. John Moses Browning hears the grouchy screams of his teammate and flies in with his Mandalorain jet pack. He manages to put a twelve gauge shell from his semi-auto shotgun right between the eyes of Tenderheart to save his pal Oscar. Michael Weston leads his two noticeably burnt friends outside, where Sam sends a perfectly aimed blast of his rocket launcher in to the spark of Black Zarak. Signalman #2 comes down hard on Sam and then grabs both Michael and Fiona; but Fiona and Michael pull out grenades and manage to take the last of Peraxxus' Robots with them in death. The rest of the battle pours on to the streets outside the underground casino, where Oblivion and Deathstorm are double-teaming Capt. Marvel. Hermione Granger and Teddy Roosevelt are going at it. And Wolverine and Boba Fett have shown up just in time to make sure that Moon Knight doesn't interfere with either of the other battles. Capt. Marvel is able to crush the skull of Oblivion, but Deathstorm avenges his death with a storm of stormy-death. Teddy Roosevelt after coming off of a stellar week last week against The Horsemen uses a construct of The American Flag to slice up Deathstorm while never even missing a beat in his own match against Hermione. Moon Knight fights valiantly against Wolvie and Fett, but the duo simply work to good together and he is taken out. The Master Mind of The Murderfly squad (Kingpin) sees the writing on the wall and rushes out of his secure office and in to the back ally where he and the ruffles Oscar the Grouch escape back to headquarters through their secret garbage can tunnels. Which only leaves Teddy Roosevelt, the hero of The Spanish American War and Week 6 against Wolverine, Boba Fett, and Hermione Granger. Granger begins to wave her wand to cast a final spell against the former president, but before he can he smashes her with a giant green fist. “Bully”!! He yells once again as Wolverine screams: “NOOOOOO” at the sight of Hermione's death. Boba Fett yawns and says: “Relax Logan, it's one death. At this rate she will hit the graveyard in Season 50” as he watches Wolverine gut Teddy to make …
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGANS: BEEYATCHES VICTORIOUS!!

10 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Murderflies: Kingpin and Oscar the Grouch escape.

Backyardigans: Wolverine and Boba Fett survive.


R.I.P. (movie) Starscream

Solobeck said...

Fantastic match!!! Great job Goof-I was scared of this one! This match also made me realize that real-life me will make the graveyard before Hermione.
-Becks

Archr5 said...

Congrats Becks! Nice match!

Josh the Commish said...

This win secured a play-off spot for B3.

NFG Mike said...

The Cosmic Brothers of Destruction might have some competition in the tag team division...

Josh the Commish said...

Yeah, you've got to love team-ups like Wolverine and Boba Fett. That is what FFL is all about. Talk about a fan boys wet dream!!

Ryan said...

Groan. F'n Boba Fett sucks balls.

Death To Fanboyz said...

YES! YES! YES!

Boba Fett said...

Ryan is about to be disintgerated... He's good to me dead.

Ryan said...

Gambit got the Magnoguard Electrostaff.