Saturday, May 12, 2012

Season 5 Week 8- Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches vs Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers

Griffin's Dope Fiends:
Poseidon
Triton
Opee Sea killer #9 and #10
Sharks w/ freakin laser beams #1-3
Black Lantern Cloverfield Monster
State Farm Agent w/ Legion Flight ring
Sharkticon #11-14

Backyardigans:
Trident,
Naga,
Clawful,
Black Widow Shark,
Abe Sapien,
Lizard,
Mer-Man,
Sharkticons 1,2,31,32;
Sentinels 13, 14;
Hondo Maclean on the Sea Attack (MASK)
Sly Rax on the Pirahna (MASK).

"State Farm, this is Mandy. How may I assist you?"

"Uh, hi. This is Hondo Maclean"

"Hello Mr Maclean! Can I get your policy number?"

"Uh.  .... find.... it... Complaint"

"Sorry Mr Maclean, we've got a bit of a bad connection. Did you say you have a complaint?"

"Yeah. Me and a bunch of my teammates are being attacked by one of your agents!"

"I'm sorry, sir? Attacked? Are you sure?"

"Considering I just saw her fly through the air with a bazooka and blow up my friend and the sea attack, yeah. Attack is a pretty accurate description of what's going on here."

"I see. Well, if I can get your policy information, I may be able to help you."

"Are you serious? You need to verify that I have coverage before you can stop this chick from murdering?"

"I'm afraid so, sir. I've gone into our intradimensional transporter files to see who's recently used a bazooka and it shows that agent B025- Ms Melinda Patterson, is currently on duty for policy holders Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers.  Now, as you know, we at State Farm strive to provide our clients the best possible customer service and since Mr Poteracki's fantasy policy does include our murder waiver, there's not much I can do until I can get a look at what your policy entails. I'm not finding anything under Mclean, is there another name the policy might be under?"

BOOM!

"Mr Maclean? Are you there?"

"I'm coming under fire here! I don't believe this!  Lady, I'm here at Cedar Point in the fi-"

Hondo Maclean's plan to destroy Melinda Patterson by getting her fired comes to an ugly end, as the Sea Attack is destroyed by the black lantern Cloverfield monster. Hondo never did learn the fatal flaw in his scheme. That MASK hasn't had insurance since 1998, and the Backyardigans switch to Geico, where 15 minutes can save you 15%.

Elsewhere across Soak City, things are equally as vicious, the Renegade River is filled with death and destruction as the Black Widow shark has viciously killed ever one of the Sharks with freakin' laser beams, despite the sharks having freakin' laser beams. The Thundercats monster went further up the not so lazy river, looking for more prey, when it came to what it thought to be an odd looking cavern. The Widow Shark discovered much too late, that this was no waterpark attraction, but the enormous mouth of Opee Sea Killer #9, just wedged into the normally family friendly attraction.

Over at the Adventure Cove Floats, both battalions of Sharkticons battle, with none really gaining an advantage. In the Main Stream, the squad of Mer-Man, Lizard and Abe Sapien were a little more successful in killing Opee Sea Killer #10 than their team mate, as the giant creature's plan of just being wedged in and not moving didn't work against beings that could get out of the ride, climb onto the creature and kill it. As the trio rushes over to send the other Sea Killer to a similar fate, they stumble across Trident's corpse, and hear the screams of Naga the latest victim of the Dope Fiends black lantern.

"Later, we'll avenge them later. Strike where we can win." says Abe Sapien. As he continues his march to the Renegade River, B3's Sententiels arrive and begin to blast the giant Cloverfield monster. But unfortunately, they don't have any type of green energy needed to truly destroy the monster and are taken out one by one as the ring reforms the beast.

In the Splash Zone, Melinda Patterson is doing her best to avoid Clawful. Her legion flight ring's force field protects her against any attack by Skeletor's henchman, but she can't call any weaponry for herself, as that's against the agent's code. She uses the various water cannons and other gadgets to spray and soak Clawful, but it does no good. She flies above the water park and resorts to prayer.

"Oh great and powerful Poseidon, hear my words. Assist me in my darkest hour."

"Save your words, child. I am here" rumbles Poseidon as he appears out of Lake Erie. 

"Oh great lord of the sea, please. We desperately need to win here so we can make a run at the play offs. Can you help?"

"A chance at glory? Of course! Come, Triton. Let us finish this battle" exclaims the sea god.

The remaining Backyardigans stand not chance against the Dope Fiends. Clawful is eviscerated on Posidon's mighty trident, Triton calls for an EMP bomb from Ms Patterson, and uses it to fry every Sharkticon's brain and render them inert. Even the Lizard, Abe Sapien and Mer-Man find their fates.

"Well done crew, well done. Now. Who wants ice cream???" exclaims Poseidon.

"Me, me, me!!" cries Triton.

"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there, With an appetite!!" exclaims Melinda

The Dope Fiends all share a hearty chuckle and head off to Dippin' Dots to celebrate their win.

6 comments:

Krisatu said...

Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches: All dead

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers: Poseidon, Triton, Black Lantern Cloverfield Monster and State Farm Agent w/Legion Flight ring surivie.


GRIFFIN'S HIGH MAINTENANCE DOPE FIENDS AND DESTROYERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!

Ryan said...

Awesome match Krisatu!! One of your best, in my opinion.

Damn Griffin, 2-0 in divisional play. Well done!! Looks like your water team beefed up this season!

Solobeck said...

Hats off to the dope fiends; you have an incredible H2O team-I had a bad feeling about this match and I was right. Krisatu: nice watching.
-Becks

Josh the Commish said...

Cool match Krisatu!! Good win and great water team Griffin, the division could still be yours!!

Ryan said...

Brick Tambland got the Trident....naturally.

Archr5 said...

There were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!

lol awesome.