Sunday, May 20, 2012

Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

Team Sleeping Pussy is Obi Wan Kenobi's spirit, The Crimebusters: Dr. Manhattan, Ozymandias, Nite Owl II, Silk Spectre II, Capt. Metropolis, The Comedian, and Rorshach, The Minutemen: The Comedian, Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, Capt. Metropolis, Hooded Justice, Dollar Bill, and The Silhouette, Nightrider and his gang: Johnny the Boy, Toe-cutter, Bubba, Mudguts, and Cundalini, and The Warriors: Cleon, Swan, Ajax, Fox, Rembrandt, Cochise, Vermin, Snow, and Cowboy.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are Mother Mae Eye, Vampire Starfire, White Lantern Batman, Robin (Dick Grayson) on a Ducatti, Meta-Knight, Cinderblock, Dark Supergirl, Green Goblin (Harry Osborne), Red X, Knives Chow (w/ a Demon Rod and a Star Sapphire Ring), and Doozer #7.


Welcome to The Battle of The Felines!! Right here in Tiger Stadium (sweet irony)!!

The Detroit Tigers may be World Series Champions, but you would never know that they won several of those games right here in this stadium by the way it looks here today. The entire stadium has been converted to a Moto-Rally Dirt Oval. Night Rider and his gang warm up on their cycles, while the much smaller Layander's Squad enters the battle right behind the home plate that Kirk Gibson and Allan Trammell stood by just last week.

The Spirit of Obi Wan Kenobi is deep in conversation with Dr. Manhattan when he says: “We seem to have the Kitties beat when it comes to raw power; but they didn't pull out any stops when it comes to brawlers. I sure wish I had my old body back so I could help out our boys a bit more directly”. Dr. Manhattan replies: “Your logic is full of holes Master Jedi. As I look back upon your past, I see that your final words with a physical body were: “If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine”. Is this form not the power that you desired”. “You are very correct Dr. From the point of view of the force. But, you of all people must know that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. This form was exactly the power I required to help out Luke and to keep the light of the Jedi alive in the universe; but I, unlike you do not have the power to go back and forth from the physical to the non-physical planes. And right now, it sure would be nice to be able to ignite a lightsaber and jump in to the fray”. Says Obi Wan. Dr. Manhattan reflects on this for a fraction of a second and says: “I now clearly see the basis for your logic, and how it could help our team”. Dr. Manhattan then teleports himself up in to the stands of Tiger Stadium before Obi Wan even realizes that the good doctor has returned the Jedi to his physical state, complete with a blue lightsaber. Obi Wan smiles as he feels his the metal in his hands. He then ignites his lightsaber and joins the battle that is about to begin. Red X has jumped on the back of Robin's Ducatti as Robin rushes in headlong to the moto-rally already in progress. Red X jumps off the back of Robin's motorcycle and on to the back of Bubba's: “This one looks nice”. Red X says in his disguised voice, as he slices the throat of Bubba and throws him off of his own motorcycle. Robin cringes a bit a he sees this vicious display which causes Red X to snicker at his teammate and say: “Sorry kid, I wasn't trained by Batman and I'm not afraid to use my weapons for what they were designed for”. Robin turns away from Red X as they both hit the throttles on their bikes. They then ride up beside Mudguts and Cundalini and knock them off of their cycles as well. The two of them work well together as they both circle back and run over the other one's victim. As this continues Cleon and The Warriors laugh about how much goo squirted out of Doozer #7 as they stepped on him; but Mother Mae Eye does not approve of their actions. She waves her hand creating several pink pies out of the air and then throws them in to the faces of the young men. Her mind control powers begin to leak out of the pies and in to their minds as she tells them that they are “very bad”. They begin to take off their leather jackets and holey jeans and put on fresh slacks and button down shirts. Vermin whines about the freshly ironed shirts, but she scolds him and tells them that they must act like “proper gentlemen” if they are going to live with Mother and have any more pie. “Yes Mother”. The Warriors all reply in unison. The Warriors then sit down in the stands and begin reading books such as Harry Potter and The Sorceror's Stone, The Cat in the Hat, and The Bearenstein Bears Christmas Spectacular. Dark Supergirl and Green Goblin are flying above this disaster as Supergirl turns to the goblin and says: “We've had enough of this right”? The Goblin nods as they fly down and start ripping apart the helpless Warriors. Mother Mae Eye begins to yell: “But they were just getting to finally be respectful young men”!! But all she can do is watch her two teammates rip them apart and pumpkin bomb the hell out them. As the The Warriors lie there dead, Mother Mae Eye looks at The Green Goblin and says: “Now Harry, before you kill any more of our opponents you need a good meal and some nice clothes”. The Goblin then puts on a adorable green Halloween Costume, while Dark Supergirl shakes her head and flies away before she vomits from this ridiculous situation. As Dark Supergirl is confronted with the newly body rejuvenated Obi Wan Kenobi, along with Ozymandias, Rorschach, both Nite Owls and both Silk Spectres, deep in the outfield. Dr. Manhattan has decided that even the man who is above all emotion (himself) is now officially annoyed by Mother Mae Eye's sorcery. He snaps his finger and turns both the voodoo stepmom and The Green Goblin into dust. White Lantern Batman then flies over to Dr. Manhattan and begins a peaceful conversation that we will return to in time. Back in the moto-rally pit, Nightrider has thrown a chain around the neck of Red X; which not only pulled him off of his motorcycle, but broke his neck in the process; but not before Red X and Robin were able to execute their signature move once more to take the lives of Johnny the Boy and Toe-cutter. Nightrider then crashes his much larger bike into Robin's which brings them both off of the cycles and on to the ground. They get up and size each other up, which causes Nightrider to think he has the major advantage over Robin due to his size and assumed experience based on apparent age. But there was only one of these two competitors here who was trained in hand to hand combat by Batman, and it wasn't Nightrider. Robin jumps in to action and feels like he recognizes the biker from one of Batgirl's National Enquirer's. Robin knocks the gun out of the hands of Nightrider and then knocks him on to the ground. Robin lets loose and begins pounding the face in of Nightrider. He screams: “I recognize you now Gibson”!! Robin shouts inbetween punches: “This is for the Super-Kitties, this is for Red X, this is for everybody that watched “What Women Want”, and this IS FOR THE JEWS”. Robin then walks away from the bloodied body of Nightrider and jumps on to Toe-Cutter's bike simply because it looked like the most functional one. Robin then ignores a radio call from Batman that tells him that that was not Mel Gibson, it was the guy that fights Mel Gibson in that movie. “Like I know who any actors are”. Robin mutters under his breath as he drives away. Hooded Justice, Dollar Bill, and The Silhouette all manage to work together and take down the much larger Cinderblock through a series of quick moves and acrobatics. Cinderblock ends up on the ground, flat on his back which allows Hooded Justice to deliver a massive blow to his face which cracks the cement creature and finishes him off. Knives Chow, decides to avenge Oriental Females all across the globe by using her Star Sapphire Ring to rip both versions of The Comedian to shreds. She then throws her Demon Rod in to the face of the young Capt. Metropolis and delivers a Star Sapphire power-coated karate kick to the face of the older version of the same character. Her reign of terror (and FFL Career) does not come to an end until Rorshach diverts his attention from his battle with Dark Supergirl for a moment to fire his grappling hook into her face (R.I.P. Knives). While Supergirl's battle of outnumbered vs. outclassed rages on; Meta-Knight is joined by Robin to take on The Silhouette, Dollar Bill, and Hooded Justice. Meta-Knight slashes through both Hooded Justice and Dollar Bill with his sword; but is hit with a neck-breaking kick to the head from The Silhouette. Robin manages to take advantage of The Silhouette's triumph and delivers a birdarang to her throat. Dr. Manhattan and White Lantern Batman are discussing (and disagreeing) how this match will inevitably play out, when Manhattan says the following: “I can see into your past and into the past of the ring you wear and I know that you are a good fit. I know that you have taken a vow against killing and that your ring would not allow you to kill me even if you desired to break said vow. I even plan to test this theory of mine by doing the following”. Dr. Manhattan snaps his finger (for added effect) and blows up Robin, who is on the other side of the stadium just to see what reaction Batman would have to it. Batman does not bite at all and says: “You are very right Dr. In fact, I don't believe that even without those perimeters that I have placed on myself and that have been placed on me by this ring, that I am strong enough to defeat you. You see, I don't have any powers, and in fact, I am not really even a super-hero. I am at best, nothing more than “The World's Greatest Detective”. My abilities lie in being able to trick people in to defeating themselves, or simply figuring out a way to defeat an opponent. But I know that you and I both know full-well that my ideals and this ring will never allow me to kill you. In fact the only thing I have noticed that this ring could really do to you is put you in to a semi-solid state for nothing more than a matter of seconds. Which does nothing for me, because as we have discussed... I can't kill you”. Dr. Manhattan looks at Batman and says: “A curious rant. I can tell that you have something more on your mind but you have learned enough mind control techniques that I admit you have even confused me regarding your complete plan; but I do agree and know full well that you can't possibly kill me”. Batman retorts: “Again, you are correct about myself and this ring not being able to kill anybody; but I would like to introduce you to my friend Vampire Starfire... And she kills people all the time”. With these final words ending their conversation. Batman manipulates the white ring to solidify Dr. Manhattan for a few seconds while Vampire Starfire flies in at top speed and rips open his neck with her teeth. Manhattan dies but the radiation emitted from the nuclear powerhouse takes both Batman and Starfire with him, due to their close prozimity. Dark Supergirl has managed to break the necks of both of the Nite Owls and then scorched the life out of both of the Silk Spectres with her heat vision. Ozymandias and Obi Wan rush towards Dark Supergirl in unison, knowing that they are going to need to work together if they are going to have any chance at defeating the Kryptonian. Rorshach then jumps on to the ground and does a barrel roll, which only just slightly cause Supergirl to jump in an effort to evade it. Ozymandias and Kenobi use this split second to execute their kill shots. Ozymandias plants a perfectly placed kick to the throat, that is strong enough to knock down a reinforced brick wall while Kenobi brings his lightsaber down directly into her eye. Both combatants see Dark Supergirl's body go limp as they notice that her two hands are already wrapped around their necks. They hear their own vertebrae crack, but their minds have already processed that...
TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!!

7 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Kitties: All Dead

Pussies: Rorshach is sole survivor.

Josh the Commish said...

R.I.P. Knives Chow

Solobeck said...

YO PUSSY!!!!

NFG Mike said...

Action! Tag Team Division Fatal Four way w/Cosmic Brothers of Destruction, Boba Fett/Wolerine, KFC/Kal-L, and Robin/Red X?

Alley Cat said...

Meow meow meow meow.

mew mew mew, Meow.

Meow meow MEOW MEOW!!!

HISSSS!!!!!

meow,
Meow

Josh the Commish said...

Great to hear from you Alley Cat. And I totally agree NFG, that would be a sweet mini-match.

Puppy Dog said...

Woof Woof Woof!!

grrrrrrrrRuff!

howhowhowwwwwwwwl!

Woof,
Ruff