Season 7, Week 2 Match: TEAM v. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

“Sail away, sail away, sail away.”

-Enya [Orinoco Flow]

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 7, Week 2 Match located at the waters of Usul’s homeworld.  They are as follows:

TEAM: Justice Legion Alpha Aquaman, Aqua-Mariner, Emerald Weapon, Sin (Final Fantasy X), Ulmo, Osmosis Jones, Zilla and Supergirl (Linda Danvers).

Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Aquaman (Kingdom Come), The Crew of Sea Quest – Captain Nathan Bridger, Lucas Wolenczak, Dr. Kristin Westphalen, Commander Jonathan Ford, Lt. Benjamin Krieg, Chief Manilow Crocker, Lt. Tim O' Neill, Lt. James Brody, Dagwood and Seaman Anthony Piccolo with Kyle Houslander and Zachary Houslander with Yoshi Egg on the SeaQuest DSV, Darwin the Dolphin; Shark Boy, Black Lantern Hydro-Man, Patrick Star, Eugene H. Krabs, Seaworm #7 and Sharkticons #21-26.

TEAM’s locker room. . .

Osmosis Jones (looking at Supergirl):  We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?  

Supergirl: Can’t say I have, Jones.

Layanderlet’s locker room. . .

Nathan Bridger (looking at Lucas Wolenczak and cupping Wolenczak’s face with both hands):  I look into your eyes and see the man you will become today.  . . .  

Lucas Wolenczak:  Thank you, sir.  I truly appreciate that sentiment.

Bridger:  No Lucas, thank you.

THE CLAXON ECHOES AND THE TEAMS ENTER INTO THE WATERS.

Let the match begin. . .

Aboard the SeaQuest DSV. . .

Bridger holds hands with Wolenczak and looks down into the shuttle bay’s waters at Darwin the Dolphin.  The dolphin tips its head and chirps at its teammates. 

Bridger:  You know what to do Darwin.  Take the explosives strapped to your bag, release it and escape.  Placement is essential.

Darwin clicks and clacks.  The dolphin swims away. Bridger looks to Wolenczak.

Bridger:  I hope that the bomb takes out a large part of their team.  The bomb is incredibly strong. . . just like you young lad. . .

Bridger smiles, puts his arm around his compatriot and strolls away.

In the waters. . .

As Darwin swims away from the vessel, he spots a little blue figure swimming toward Patrick Star and Eugene H. Krabs.  It is Osmosis Jones. 

Jones (toward Star and Krabs): In the words of the immortal James Brown - GET DOWN!

Patrick Star:  Wow!  Look at the blue guy!

Eugene H. Krabs:  It’s Osmosis Jones!  Watch your bowels!  He will rip your intestines apart more than a Krusty Burger!!!

Jones is just about to reach Star and Krabs when Darwin swims to the scene.  The dolphin strategically catches Jones in its teeth and bites down, crunching the Layanderlet between its molars.  Osmosis Jones is ripped apart before he is able to enter into the stomach of Darwin.

Krabs: Thanks, Darwin!!!

Star:  I like big fishie!!!

As Darwin swims away, the Nickelodeon characters notice a shadow looming above.  They both look up in unison to see a gigantic reptilian foot.

Krabs:  Oh fudge!  Out of the frying pan. . .

Zilla’s foot obliterates both Patrick Star and Eugene H. Krabs into the sandy bottom.  Zilla focuses on Seaworm #7.  Although the Dune monstrosity is immensely larger than Zilla, Zilla pushes up from the bottom and lands on the beast’s back.  Zilla’s maw tears at the worm.  Huge chunks are ripped off the worm, bloodying the waters around the monsters.  As Zilla is about to sink his teeth into the worm again, it is attacked by Sharkticons #21-26.  The whale-like beast Sin swims to the skirmish.  The behemoths battle to a near standstill, but Sharkticon #21 is destroyed in the initial melee.  Zilla and Sin work together in destroying Seaworm #7, while also defending themselves against the snapping Sharkticons.  The damage suffered by the Final Fantasy X character is too great, as Sin dies and begins to float to the water’s surface.  With Sin though, comes the destruction of Sharkticons #22 and 24.  Zilla, weakened at the intensity of the battle, also perishes, taking with it Sharkticons #23 and 25.  Sharkticon #26 remains swimming, but for mere seconds as Ulmo, the Lord of Waters, crushes it by manipulating the pressure surrounding the Transformer. 

Across the waters, Aqua-Mariner notices Darwin swimming toward TEAM’s locker room and races toward the sea mammal.

Aboard the SeaQuest. . .

Kyle and Zachary Houslander look out a portal spaced near the ship’s bridge.  The two see the head of a dolphin slowly rise to the window.

Kyle:  Look, Zack!  It’s Darwin!

Darwin’s head slowly floats upward sans the rest of the dolphin’s body.  The two Houslanders scream and run toward the bridge. The two fail to notice that the head is actually on the tip of Aqua-Mariner’s trident.  

In the waters. . .

Justice Legion Alpha Aquaman spots Shark Boy.  The King of the oceanic planet, Neptune, ironically uses his psionic ability to dehydrate the young man.  Shark Boy shrivels up and his desiccated husk floats to the surface.  Aquaman (Kingdom Come) swims toward JLA2.  The two begin an intense fight.  As KCA is about to gain the upper hand against JLA2, Aqua-Mariner joins the fight.  The three becomes involved in an intense and pitched battle.  Eventually, KCA kills JLA2, but dies at the hands of Aqua-Mariner.    At the end of the fight, Aqua-Mariner gives a bag to Supergirl, who has flown into the water after receiving a signal from her teammate.

Aboard the SeaQuest. . .

Supergirl flies from the waters of the shuttle bay into the submarine.  She is met by Commander Jonathan Ford, Lt. Benjamin Krieg, Chief Manilow Crocker, Lt. Tim O' Neill and Lt. James Brody.  The five seamen begin to fire weapons at Supergirl, who easily either avoids, or deflects the projectiles.  It is only a matter of minutes before the SeaQuest crew dies.  Dagwood, who has been watching over the submarine from its outside, springs from the waters and holds onto Supergirl.  Before Supergirl throws the super soldier off of her, Black Lantern Hydroman also appears from the waters.  BL Hydroman flies toward the fallen angel and Dagwood is killed as BL Hydroman crushes him while racing toward Supergirl.   The two battle and BL Hydroman manages to rip Supergirl’s heart out.   Ulmo uses the same opening utilized by Dagwood and BL Hydroman to enter the ship.  Ulmo easily dispatches BL Hydroman and then picks up the bag dropped by Danvers.  Ulmo places the bag in the middle of the submarine without incident and leaves the ship. 

SeaQuest bridge. . .

The remaining SeaQuest crew looks at the Emerald Weapon through the bridge’s lens.  The Emerald Weapon spots the enemy and uses his Aire Tam Storm Attack.  Simultaneously the bomb, once possessed by Darwin, explodes.  The ship is sinking and sinking fast.   

Bridger looks to young Wolenczak and the Houslanders. 

Bridger:  Piccolo!!!  Get them to a submersible!!!

Bridger: I LOVE YOU LUCAS!!!!

Wolenczak smiles at Bridger and joins the Houslanders, with Piccolo in the lead toward a submersible.

Westphalen:  I always wondered why you chose him over me, Nathan.

Bridger:  Do you really have to ask?

The SeaQuest DSV implodes and all still aboard perishes. 

Water’s surface. . .

Wolenczak and the Houslanders peak their heads out of the submersible. 

Wolenczak:  We’re the only survivors.

Kyle Houslander:  . . . along with this. . .

The Houslanders look in the pod at their Yoshi Egg.

Zack: . . . for another day.