Season 7 Week 2: Slaves vs. Horsemen

George Washington's Slaves are: S.U.R.F.(Sharkskin, Eel, Undertow), Xorn, Santa and his 9 reindeer, Cap't Crunch in submarine, Hydra, Jaws 2, Tigersharks(Mako, Lorca, Waltro, Dolph, Octavia, Angel, and Dogfish), LMD #2, Family Guy: Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin w/throwing knives, Stewie w/Green Lantern ring, Meg Griffin, Chris Griffin, and Brian Griffin on Hovercraft.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are: Percy Jackson w/trident, Snowflame, Seaworms #1-6, Seacons(Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, Snaptrap, and Tentikill. Merge to form Piranacon.)

Snowflake swims rapidly though the almost endless seas of the planet Caladan en route to a hovercraft carrying the Griffin family. Except for Meg, who was thrown overboard to conserve fuel. Snowflake climbs aboard and laughs maniacally. "TIIIIIIME TO DIIIIIEEEEE!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he screams. "Easy buddy. Wow, this is more awkward than the time The Tigersharks met The Seacons." says Peter Griffin.

"There's one of 'em." says Waldo as he spies on Nautilator. "Derp." repeats Nautilator as he repeatedly hits the sea floor. "What is he doing?" asks Angel. "Does it matter? Our mission is to kill any Seacon we find so that they can't form Piranacon." says Dolph. Okay, let's do this." orders Mako. The Tigersharks surround an unaware Nautilator. "I'm sorry guys, but I gotta know what's up with this guy." Says Lorca. "Hey! You! Seacon! What in Poseidon's name are you doing?" he asks. "Huh? Oh! Hi everybody!" exclaims Nautilator. "I think I'm on a secret mission. The other guys told me to pound sand, so that's what I'm gonna do! See? I'm a team-player! Right?" says an excited Nautilator before he begins to club the sea floor again. "Wow, that poor guy." comments Octavia. "Yeah, I feel kinda bad having to do this. Hasn't he been through enough?" adds Dogfish. "I don't like this either, but we have to..." begins Mako before Jaws 2 comes from nowhere to trash Nautilator. It proceeds to attack the nearby Seacons, but they just combined into Piranacon. It kills the great white shark easily, and sets it's sights on The Tigersharks. "No... I thought they couldn't combine without Nautilator." Says Waldo. "Looks like we got some bad intel. Swim for it!" yells Mako. The Tigersharks valiently try to avoid the giant Transformer, but are simply overpowered and fall in short order.

"AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!! WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT?!?" screams Snowflame. "It's a cutaway gag." explains Peter. "We do it all the time, it's not really a big deal." adds Lois. "Yes. ALL. THE. TIME." admits Stewie. "Yes, it is an overused gag, kinda like that time Xorn ran into Seaworm #3."

With a steely resolve, Xorn allows himself to be eaten by Seaworm #3, and makes the star in his head explode. KAAAAAA-BOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!

"Stop that! You're freaking me out, man...." threatens Snowflame before he pulps Chris Griffin's head with a punch. "C'mon fella, no need to get crazy, like that one time S.U.R.F. did..." says Peter.

Sharkskin, Eel, and Undertow are doing their best to outrun Seaworm #4, but it is gaining ground. "We're done for!" yells Eel. "Just keep swimming! Stick to the plan!" orders Sharkskin. They continue swimming, but the giant Seaworm #4 is on their tail. Almost... almost... I think we made it." says Undertow cautiously. "I sure hope so..." says Sharkskin as the Seaworm eats them all whole. The highly territorial Seaworm #1 notices the trespasser, and it's on. Seaworm #1 is not undamaged, but is ultimately victorious over Seaworm #4.

A jittery Snowflame drops to his knees and quickly finishes off a line, then destroys Lois Griffin with a series of vicious strikes. "I told you to stop with the flashbacks!!!" screams an angry Snowflame. "Sorry pal, it just happens whenever I make a reference." says Peter. "I can't stop it. Kind of like when Percy Jackson met the Hydra."

Despite having water all around him, Percy Jackson can't finish off the Hydra. It takes a good chunk out of the young demi-god before Piranacon arrives to even the odds. "Hurry up! Cut off the heads then cauterize the wounds!" yells a pained Percy. The Decepticon quickly dispatches the Hydra in said fashion, and it is no more. A badly injured Percy Jackson is healing slowly but surely, and begins a labored swim toward a nearby shore.

Snowflame trembles and looks around nervously. "Sigh, I guess I'll take this one." says Brian while walking to Snowflame. "Thanks, Brian. You always were a good dog." compliments Peter. Brian takes the inevitable beating from an agitaited and confused Snowflame. "Huh... Sure is going to be lonely at Christmas this year. Oh! I wonder what Santa's been up to?" ponders Peter.

Santa and his reindeer are flying overhead while Cap't crunch is below in his submarine. "Time to deliver the presents! Are you ready Crunch?" asks Santa. "Good to go Santa. Stay crunchy." responds the Cap't as he ends the comunication. A couple of well placed torpedoes from Crunch's sub make Piranacon disassemble to it's component robots. "Ahhhh.... Now i recognize you guys." Says Santa to the Seacons. "Ol Christmastime in the eighties! What a glorious era! Time for you Decepticons to go where you belong!" laughs Santa as the robots transform into toys and magically fly into Santa's sack. Santa looks to the sea and sees that Crunch's battle against Seaworm #5 is not going as well as it could be. The submarine's torpedoes have little effect on the massive Seaworm #5. "Hang on Crunch!" yells Santa, but he is stopped by the voracious Sandworm #2 as it has just swallowed up the reindeer. Santa bails from his sleigh with his sack in tow, while Seaworm #2 opens it's mouth to consume a seemingly helpless Santa. Santa smiles as he falls. "Good thing I know what lil Chris Artrip wants for Christmas!" He says as he pulls a vial from his magic sack. No... the other one. "Seaworm poison, you son of a..." says Santa while he is swallowed whole. Seaworm #2 shortly convulses and dies from the magic poison. Cap't Crunch sees Santa fall, and knows he needs to resort to desparate measures. He sabotages the nuclear reactor and steers the submarine directly at Seaworm #5 before abandoning ship. Seaworm #5 takes the bait and eats the explosive treat as the Cap't makes an escape to a nearby atoll. The submarine's reactor eventually explodes and Seaworm #5 goes with it. Cap't Crunch uses his trident to help himself to his feet and sees a newly arrived Percy Jackson do the same with his own trident. "I knew you'd be here! This atoll is the greatest source of Crunchberries on this world. Luckily, I'm here to protect them. Your plundering of natural resources end today, old man!" says Percy as he readies his trident. "Ah... You're a smart one. You're the only one on your team to see my true purpose. Impressive, but now you must die. Nothing will stop my obsession with quality cereal! Have at thee!!!" screams the enraged Cap't. He throws his trident at Percy, but Jackson dodges the projectile and runs Cap't Crunch through. "It ends here, Crunch." says Percy sternly as the Cap't dies on the end of his trident. Suddenly, three pointed prongs emerge from Jackson's chest. "It does end... for you." Says the true Cap't Crunch. As he dies, Percy Jackson sees the LMD Cap't Crunch begin to smoke from the damage. Horatio Magellan Crunch slides the body of Percy Jackson off of his mighty trident, then plots to gather the abundant supply of Crunchberries.

"AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! We're back?!?" says a cringing Snowflame. "Ugh, guess, I'm next, huh?" asks Stewie. Peter and Snowflame nod in unison. "Eh, no biggie. I was kind of getting bored anyways." reasons Stewie before he takes a lethal beating from a strung out Snowflame. Snowflame looks at Peter and has an idea. "So, fat man... you can take us anywhere so long as you make a reference to it?" asks a fidgety Snowflame. "Well, I never thought of it that way, but I guess so." answers Peter. Snowflame grabs Peter by the collar. "Well C'mon man!!! Tell me about the drugs!!! Tell me about ALL the drugs!!!!" he yells excitedly."Well, there was that time at Woodstock." says Peter. They are transported to the legendary concert and Snowflame consumes any and all cocaine in sight. The pair return from the cut-away gag and Snowflame is peaking. "YEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!! MOOOOOORREEEE!!!!" demands Snowflame. "Um, there was this one time in college..." remembers Peter. Again, Snowflame furiously tears into all coke in sight. They continue to visit flashbacks and eventually garner the attention of Seaworm #1. Peter and Snowflame reappear in time to see Seaworm #1 bearing down on them. "TAKE US SOMEWHERE!!! ANYWHERE!!!" begs Snowflame. "Whoa, chill out. I'm not very good under pressure.... gimme a minute." says Peter. "Oh... Um... I got it... No I don't... Wait... Now I do! This reminds me of that time we got eaten by Seaworm #1. ... Oh crap..." says Peter as Seaworm #1 consumes them all, including the hovercraft. Seaworm #1 instantly dies from ingesting Snowflame, due to the unworldly amount of cocaine in his system.

The Personal Diary of Horatio Magellan Crunch: Day 2:
I have gathered the remaining Crunchberries from the atoll and the haul is quite plentiful. I am saddened than my teammates could not be here to enjoy the celebration, but I take solace in the fact that their sacrifices were not in vain. My transport should be arriving shortly.

Day 3:
Damn these old eyes of mine for they have failed me! An unnoticed Worm of the Sea #6 has made it's arrival. It seems eager to test my mettle, and i shall not leave it wanting. It shall indeed test my metal, by way of my mighty trident! I have fight still in me, and it shall no longer disrespect my honor! HAVE AT THEE!!!