Thursday, March 20, 2014

Spoiler Sport Week 2

Hello everyone, a returning Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho!
Week Two's Waters of Usul's Homeworld determined which teams would rise above in the standings, and which teams would continue to sink to the murky depths of oblivion.

We start in the Lucas Conference, where B-3 wasted no time showing REAL MAN'S RABBLEROUSERS their place in the League. REAL MAN stacked the deck against himself, then continued to sabotage himself further. The word "curb-stomp" has never been more true. With this win, The Backyardigans are looking to be back in their usual fighting shape.

Between Nazis, drugs, Nazi drugs, white power, a PSA by G.I. Joe's Duke, and TWO Jar Jar Binks, Earth 2 Superman returned to active duty with a vengeance, playing a key role in the win against The Grindhouse!

Things started off bad for The Empire, and things only got worse as The Midgets seemed close to a victory. The Silver Surfer and Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner finally ended their self-imposed exile and saved the day for The Empire. They continue their surpisingly successful start to the season!

In a rematch from the Semi-Final match last year, George Washington's Slaves again confronted The Horsemen of Apokolips, with both teams looking to add another chapter to their already storied rivalry! Unfortunately, The Slaves had a bad flashback to the last meeting, despite the return of legendary Slave Santa Claus. A single Seaworm was the only survivor for The Horsemen, proving that win or lose, any confrontation with The Slaves will have it's cost.

Over in The Lee Conference, Mitchy's Luminous Tentacle Warriors seemed to be right at home in the sea, and delivered The Royal Highness a water beating worthy of a king. With two ocean gods on their side, The Warriors continue their winning ways against a sidewinding Highness. Will Mitchy's streak continue? Only time will tell!

As far as the battle between Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies and Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions it can be summed up like this: Nub Nub, Sweet sweet lovin, Care Becks rocks, Aku gets hard, and Phoenix Force Namor with the win for The Barkleys! As always, do yourself a favor and see the entire match, as well as many others, on FFL on Demand!

The contest between Team Sleeping Pussy and Griswold's Nut-Busters featured a look at the cold reality of The FFL for some of the combatants. Bodies may be broken on a weekly basis in this League, but rare is the insight to the breaking of a man's spirit. Hopefully The Sea Captain will take advantage of the many FFL support groups that are available to characters, completely free of charge.

We all know the FFL can be a dark place at times, but we shall not forget the occasional rays of light that also shine through the darkness. Love was flowing freely through the TEAM and Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family's battle! The kind of love that can only be felt by a man in an imploding submarine...

We now get an update on the Graveyard points, courtesy of Pepper Brooks. Pepper!!!

"Muh muhmu muh muhh muhhh mmuh muhmuhmuh muh muh muhmuh muhmuh muhmuh muhmuhmuh muhmuh muh muhmuh muhmuhmuh! Muh muhmu muh muh muhmu muhmuhmu muh muhmuh muhmuhmuh muh muh muhh muh muh muh m uh m! Muh muhmuh muh muh mmmmmuhhhh muh muuuh muh muh muhhhhmmmmuuh!!!"

As always, thanks to Pepper for the detailed report! Keep up the rehab, your results are spectacular! That's all the time we have for tonight, but tune in next week when the action resumes from The Windy City of Chicago! Does the nickname "Second City" mean a second chance for losing teams, or is it simply a second helping of the beatings that they've suffered so far? Stay tuned for Chess Boxing, up next live from Amsterdam here on The Ocho! For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight, thank you, and goodnight.      

4 comments:

MVP Council said...

1.Phoenix Force Namor 2.Earth 2 Superman 3.Sea Captain

Josh the Commish said...

God I love Spoiler Sport!! It brings warm feelings to my heart!!

Artifact said...

Awesome stuff! Welcome back, Cotton

Josh the Commish said...

How is Pepper by the way?? Has he made any improvement, or should we call Kevorkian??