John and Vader’s House
of Sith Aids:
The
Brain, Monseiur Mallah, General Immortus, Garguax, Madam, The Chief, Robotman, Negative
Man, Elasti-woman, Mento, Ambush Bug ,
Aron The Rogue Watcher, Galvatron, Nova Prime (w/ Autobot Matrix of
Leadership), Jhiaxus, Waspinator, Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Vampire #91 , Vampire#92 , Vampire#93,
Vampire#94 ,Vampire#95 , Black Lantern Cloverfield Monster, King Godirah ,
Sparkplug Witwicky , Predator#49 , Griffin#1 , Griffin#2 , Griffin#3 ,Griffin#4
,Compsognathus#29, Dark Side Master #6A,
Sith Lord #13-14, Thinking Machine #1-3, Elephant #1-3, Fremen #42
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions:
John
Zacharski, Nature Boy Ric Flair , Predacon: Rampage ,Red Alert , Inferno, Punch/Counterpunch,
Cliffjumper , Mindwipe, Vorath, Squeeze Play, Locos, Kup (w/ green lantern ring),
Cyclonus, Cyclonus Armada, Brawn w/ green lantern ring, Broadside, Junkeons #1
– 10, Autobots #6 – 10, Droideka #1 – 3, Sardakaur #30-39
Streets of
Rage 4: Ferguson
The streets
of Ferguson, MO
Ferguson, Missouri was once the most
peaceful town in the world, until now that is. Since it wasn’t quite time for
the match to begin, Monseiur Mallah decided to steal some cigarillos from a
convenience store for a little pre-match smoke. He and the brain began walking
in the middle of the street smoking their newly acquired cigarillos. A caravan
of transformers and misfits slowly trailed behind them waiting for them to move
out of the way so that they could get to their fantasy match that was to begin
soon. Eventually the local authorities were called, who politely asked the two
to move aside.
“Excuse me gentlemen,
but it appears as if you may be impeding traffic. It would be much appreciated
if you could please step to the side so that they may get by.” Said the police
officer.
This angered
Monseiur Mallah, who immediately leaped at several of the officers beating them
senseless. After killing a few and injuring others, the remaining officers
opened fired in self-defense killing Monseiur Mallah.
Several of
the locals began to take notice as his dead body lay bleeding in the street.
Although they knew nothing of this being, they began to see a resemblance. They
then looked up to see several Caucasoid police officers with smoking guns.
“A travesty!”
The natives shouted. “He was unarmed and innocent!”. With no thinking left to
do, the entire city’s population went on instinct and broke out into a riot.
Stuck in a violent city the two teams began their match.
The
Sardakaurs attempted to contain the natives but were quickly disposed of by guerrilla
warfare tactics. The elephants got scared and ran away.
The numerous
transformers on both teams decide to transform into robot mode only to find
that many of their parts have been stolen or vandalized. The Junkeons, with all
of their remaining parts transformed into a gestalt, Junkman, who is basically
just a big garbage man with a garbage truck. They throw Black Lantern Cloverfield
Monster in the back and hit the compact button, and then move down to the next
house.
The matrix,
set to go off in the darkest hour, realizes that every hour here is “dark” and
immediately goes off, killing many of the combatants in its vicinity.
In the
spirit of the videogame John Zacharski and Ric Flair team up to unrealistically
dispose of a large quantity of foes without even getting hurt. Predator #49,
the vampires, the griffins, sith lords, the thinking machines, Sith Lords,
sparkplug witwicky, and Dark Side Master #6A, are systematically taken down by
a series of kicks and punches, with a couple drop kicks and uppercuts thrown in
for good measure. They then square off against the boss, Galvatron, but can’t
figure out his pattern. Unfortunately for them they don’t have continues in
this match.
Someone stuck
a stick in the spoke of The Chief’s wheelchair who then falls ground flapping
his only two functional limbs. No one helps him and his wheelchair is stolen.
As the
battle rages on, Arnold Schwarzenegger shoots various weapons
at just about everyone and stands on the corpses while being followed by a film
crew. He is shooting his new film ‘Africa’, with Toto set to write the
soundtrack. Unfortunately since their bassist died during this match they are
just going to loop their song for the entire film.
Just like
the game, most of the other fights turn out pretty much the same way.
Eventually the dust settles and…..
Posts
5 comments:
John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids are victorious!
The Chief (minus his wheelchair), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Aron the Rogue Watcher survive!
The elephants were rescued and put on an elephant preserve making black ivory coffee.
Toto’s original bassist returned to the band and helped them write six more albums, all with a hit song about a continent
Awesome work Ed!! Great to have you back!!
You are one of a kind, Ed! Lol. Congrats John.
I was laughing from sentence one. Nuff said.
I've been Schwarzenegger'd! That's what I get for rolling out a bunch of robots I was indifferent towards instead of the good ones. Good match, Ed and John.
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