Wednesday, May 4, 2016

S9W8 - Backyardigans vs Rabble Rousers

Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyotches is: New Gods: (Malhedron, Uggha, Lightray, Bekka, Shadowfall, Hyalt), Red Lantern Hal Jordan, Vampire Kilowog, Razor, Aya, MOLAR ETERNIAN DENTIST, COBRA VIPER #18


Real Man’s Rabble Rousers is: Apathy, uninterestedness, unresponsiveness, undependable, indifference, lack of interest, untrustworthy, irresponsible, and a contemptible person.


This was it. The moment he had been waiting for all year.

Was it bad that he felt so good about it? Here he sat, week after week, watching all the others get to have their fun with it and finally his turn had come. He usually didn’t emerge until the waning minutes of the weekend to do this so, in a way, he felt bad about how eager he was. On second thought, no he didn't. Could he wait a few more days just in case? Sure, it was only Wednesday evening. But we all know that the correspondence he is waiting on is never going to arrive. Why not start this party now!

The streetlights cast their long shadows on him as he pulled into gas station and stepped out onto the pavement. The clerk cast half a glance at him from behind the glass and quickly returned her gaze back to her phone, shutting the world out once again. “Stupid Bitch,” he muttered as he swiped his card in the pump. He was a man of inappropriate candor sometimes. He regretted his off color comments toward the girl but he had a such a disdain for this generation’s love affair with social media and their devices. If a meteor was hurtling toward their house, they would probably watch someone else’s YouTube clip instead of looking at the sky. He laughed to himself at the thought of that. The irony was not lost on him either; he was trapped in his own prison of technology, the key discarded long ago. Being a keyboard jockey was all that he was good at though. Sure he could make it in another field perhaps but once you get in that middle aged rut with other mouths to feed, how many men would change direction into uncharted waters? Not this one, that’s for sure.

The pump jolted to a stop and snapped him out of his wildly off topic daydream. The car was topped off and so were the four 5-gallon tanks he brought with him. “I hope this is enough,” he thought to himself, “I’ve never used one of these things.” After loading the tanks into the tailgate and securing them, he shot a quick wave to the clerk inside that went unnoticed.

Twenty minutes later he was pulling into Greenie’s Rent All. The deposit and first day’s payment were all made in advance over the phone. The proprietor, Mike, was a kind and helpful fellow who was well versed in the machine's operation. It didn't take long to spot, Mike had pulled it around front for him just as requested. (Someone is getting a five star review!) Ahh! There it was, in all its glory. It looked more beautiful than he imagined. It also appeared as if Nick didn’t rinse it off when he was done with it last week. Jerk. He rolled it into the back of the truck next to the gas cans and tied it down. He needed to be sure it didn’t move or shift during his travels. It was a long drive to the Rabble Rouser's headquarters.



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8 comments:

Artifact said...

Beckerman's Backyardigans beeyotches Victorious!!

B3: All alive
RR: No team sent.

This is getting REAL annoying.

David Parks said...

Throwing some real shade, I like it.

I just learned that term, "throwing shade". I don't know if I'm using it right. I can't keep up with all the imaginary slang people my age keep coming up with. #OldManParks

Lickolas said...

Best fucking match of the season! That shit was fantastic.

Solobeck said...

This match was as wonderful as Shemalyah's lithe nude figure in Tatooine's twin Suns' light....

Josh the Commish said...

This is the greatest moment in Real Man's life.

Solobeck said...

B3DRMR!!!

NFG Mike said...

Yes! FEEL THE POWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

NFG Mike said...

And we here at Greenie's Rent All take full responsibility for the Woodchipper's lack of cleanliness. We basked in the glory of Nick's first Chipping for an inappropriate amount of time. While we are not accustomed to rentals on Wednesday, we still are required to be prepared do our duty at all times. As such, we will give Watcher Fizzatu a free rental the next time he is in need. Thank you for your patronage! Fire up, Chips!