The Brotherhood of Evil Midget's vs. TEAM

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Scrimmell (Designated Leader), Wonder Man, Jedi Knight #33 w/ Jedi Padawan #18, Mouser, Wicket W. Warrick & Ewok #41 & 42.

TEAM (a.k.a. Ryan & his Love Brigade guest starring the Sodomites.) is Ryan Poteracki (a.k.a, Rainbows & Butterflies), Brian Kaczynski, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee w/ Bill the Pony, Cybertronian Guardian #1, Dozer #7 (a.k.a, The Love Brigade) and Peter Sosa & Mike Sroka (a.k.a, The Sodomites).

“Preseason Matches, you’re kidding me right? You call me down here to tell me that I’ve got to get ready to fight and you are sending me on a match that means absolutely nothing. Who came up with this? I mean seriously, who are the geniuses behind this mess? You know what, fine, I’ll lead your stupid “Preseason” team into battle but from now on, I want to know what’s going around here. I’m Wonder Man for god’s sake, I’m the real deal.”
The Brotherhood’s head coach Alexander the Great just sat there and stared back at the very animated super hero with little interest as he really could care less to what he was saying.
“You done yet Mr. Williams?
“Yeah, I’m done. Let’s just get this league wide joke over with”. Just as he finished his last sentence he found himself standing on the side of a mountain with his fellow teammates. He looked around at his teammates and was surprised to actually see two Jedi’s standing next to him. He now felt a bit better about this match; that was until Scrimmell started to speak aloud to his teammates.
“O.K, gang, this is what coach and I talked about last night. We have heard rumors that they are starting…Is there something funny Wonder Man?”
“Yeah, I just find it hilarious that you think we are going to take orders from you. What are you like our “Captain” this week or something?”
“Actually yes Simon, I am. Look, if you have a problem with taking instructions from me than fine, pretend they are coming from Alexander himself. The reason he chose me is because I was created for the sole purpose of scrimmaging with people, which I realize is a completely ridiculous reason to clone someone for but it did endow me with the unique ability to learn strategy quite easily”, a very astute sounding Scrimmell said. “So if you want to just sit back and laugh that is fine, but when a 60 foot tall robot comes crashing down on top of you in five minutes, just remember, it could have been avoided if you would have put your arrogance aside for just a second and listened to me.”
A very embarrassed Wonder Man just stood there in silence and listened to his designated leader divulge their head coaches plan to win this match. After about five minutes of talking, Jedi Knight #33 turned his head towards the other side of the mountain, as if feeling something coming their way. The plan at the beginning was for everyone but Mouser and the two Ewok’s to stay back and wait for a surprise attack, an attack that was right around the corner.
Meanwhile…”Where are we going Mr. Frodo? I mean I followed you all the way to the fiery depths of Mordor but at least there was a purpose to that. This just seems like a very poor idea.” Sam’s words seemed to just annoy everyone around him, which was nothing new to his teammates, as Sam never seemed to stop talking.
“Yes, I know your feelings on this Sam but it is our duty to our teammates to keep going. It should only be a little bit longer until…(something came out of no where and landed on the ground right in front of Frodo. Being naturally curious he instantly picked it up). Well what could this possibly be”. As Frodo says this Brian Kaczynski screams for Frodo to get rid of it as he recognizes the item as a bomb from the video game Mario Bros. 2. It is naturally to late as the bomb goes off, blowing Frodo to pieces. The blast knocks nearly everyone on TEAM to the ground, sending Bill the Pony into a running frenzy, which leads to him running off of the face of the mountain, sending him to his death. The surviving members of Sam, Brian and Dozer #7 take cover under some rocks as the bombs start to explode at a rate of one every ten seconds.
“This is impossible Mr. Brian, how are we going to get out of this”.
“First things first, do not ever call me Mr. Brian ever again. Who taught you how to speak anyway? Second of all, am I the only one in this crew who ever played video games. Just lay low for a minute and I will take care of this guy.”
Brian then waited for a bomb to explode before running out from the small cave he was under and picking up one of the bombs and throwing it back at Mouser. He waited just a few seconds before hearing the iconic scream come from Mouser that he makes when he gets hit. Brian then waits a good thirty seconds before he realizes that the one bomb was enough to kill the overgrown rodent.
“Huh, I guess the game was wrong, it doesn’t take three bombs to kill him. Come on Sam, grab that Dozer and let’s keep on moving.”
Sam grabbed the Dozer and they continued to keep on moving up the mountain, but not before two Ewok’s suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They both jumped onto Brian and Sam, knocking the Dozer out of the hand of Sam and in one quick motion, crushing the Dozer to his death and stabbing Sam in the chest with a spear. Brian quickly threw the Ewok off of his back and regained his footing. He walked over to the Ewok lying on the ground and kicked it as hard as he could in the face. The Ewok looked dead, but to be sure he grabbed the Ewok’s spear and drove it right into the eye of the now dead Ewok. The other Ewok then ran over to Brian and began to bite his leg, tearing flesh from it and causing him a great deal of pain. Though this was very painful for Brian, it did not take him long to get rid of the small creature. He then picked him up and threw him to his death. Sam’s chest wound would ultimately prove fatal as he soon bled to death from the Ewok’s spear. Brian now hoping that his team’s plan had worked continued up the mountain alone, looking for the remaining members of his opponent’s team.

“The plan seems to have worked master, all I see is one wounded man walking up the hill”, the young Padawan said to his master as he looked down at a limping Brian Kaczynski. “He is just the decoy my young Padawan. The rest of the team is coming up from the other side of the mountain. I sensed it as soon as we were transported here. You too with time will learn to channel your energies in the same way. Right now though, we must concentrate because there is a 60 foot tall robot coming towards us.”
“Wow master, you can sense that as well?” the Padawan said.
“Well yes, plus the fact that he is standing right over there also helps.
The two Jedi quickly stood up and took out their light sabers and ignited them. The brotherhood’s entire team now realized the real battle had begun, as Wonder Man, Scrimmell and the remaining Ewok got ready for battle. They could see the giant robot coming so the two Jedi’s decided to go towards it instead of waiting for it to come to them.
“Master, I think there is something else…” the young Padawan was then cut off by his master mid-sentence, telling him to stop thinking and just keep his concentration on the robot. They could not run at full speed because the terrain was so rocky, but it still did not take long for them to reach their massive opponent.
“I can’t believe this is only a Guardian, Master; I don’t know what we would do if we were actually fighting a real transformer.”
“It looks real enough right now my young Padawan, now stick close to me and let us try to take him down.”
Scrimmell could see from a distance that the two Jedi alone were going to have a very difficult time with the Cybertronian Guardian so he decided to send Wonder Man out to help them.
“If you want me to go I will, but then who will protect you and the Ewok”, a surprisingly concerned Simon Williams said to his designated leader.
“I can take care of things back here. All I have to worry about is the one wounded man below. Now please be quick Wonder Man, it is going to take all you have to kill that machine”.
“If you say so, you’re the boss”. Wonder Man then took flight and began to help out his fellow Midget’s. In all of Scrimmell’s planning though, he had not accounted for any remaining teammates on TEAM, for which he was going to pay for with his life. In the Jedi Knight’s haste towards the robot he had failed to listen to his Padawan’s warnings about a hidden danger. Now given, as hidden dangers go, Ryan, Pete and Mike are not exactly a force to be feared, but for Scrimmell and Wickett W. Warrick it was going to be enough. Ryan and the two Sodomites ran out from the rock they were hiding under and ran as fast as possible towards the two very alone members of the Midgets.
“I hate to ruin you’re perfect plan and all but it looks like there may have been a few oversights in it”, a very arrogant Ryan said to the unflinching clone. “You may have my body, but you will never have my soul”.
“What are you talking about Scrimmell?”
“You’re teammates, the Sodomites, I have a feeling I know what’s going to happen next”, a mildly disturbed Scrimmell said.
“How did you know that was their name?”
“It says it on their shirts, not exactly subtle”.
“Oh yeah, that’s right. I almost forgot I made those for them. Oh well”. At this time Ryan picked up a large rock and began to bludgeon the clone to death. At the same time Ryan was doing this Pete and Mike were taking turns kicking the Ewok in the head. It had not been the most victorious day in the world for the Ewok’s and this entry wasn’t going to help any. Pete and Mike finally finished off the Ewok with one final blow to the skull, followed by Pete picking the lifeless Ewok up and snapping its neck.
As this happened, Jedi Knight #33 felt a disturbance in the force and realized that something terrible had happened to his leader. He looked up at the flying Wonder Man and yelled to him to go check out what was going on. This of course was easier said then done, due to the fact that a gigantic robot was standing right above them, trying to kill them.
“Simon, check up on Scrimmell and the Ewok, I think something terrible has happened. We can handle this guy for a while.”
“If you say so…” Just then Wonder Man looked over at where is team captain was and saw his lifeless body lying on the ground. This enraged the very super hero and sent him straight over to his dead captain. It only took him a matter of seconds to reach Scrimmell’s lifeless body. Wonder Man then looked around and saw Ryan, Pete and Mike down below helping their teammate Brian with his leg wound. Wonder Man then started to head toward the feeble humans, but not before hearing what Ryan had to say about him.
“Oh here we go guys, I wouldn’t worry too much about this guy. I mean, it’s not like he’s Vision or anything.”
This was the wrong thing to say to the already enraged Simon Williams and it took him less one human heartbeat to kill the remaining human’s on TEAM. Wonder Man hit all of them with a blast on ionic energy that would have been enough to take down an army of men, let alone four lowly humans.
On the other side of the battlefield, the Jedi were losing. Sure they had gotten their share of hits in on the Cybertronian Guardian, but the damage it had done was not enough to warrant the exhaustion they both were feeling.
“Master, I don’t think I can keep this up much longer.”
“Just find a rock to hide under right now, I will try to distract him for a moment while you can get out of here and run to safety.” Just as the word safety came out of the Jedi Knight’s mouth the giant robot smashed a side of the mountain and sent a massive boulder down towards the Jedi. The boulder would have killed the Jedi Knight but just as it was crashing down on top of him, his young Padawan rushed in and pushed him out of the way, killing the Padawan in the process.
“Noooooooo.” The Jedi Knight screamed as he watched his Padawan being crushed to death by the boulder that should have given him his last breathe. The Jedi Knight then stood back on his tired feet and with all his remaining energy, ran and jumped up on the robot as fast as he could. The Jedi was now running on rage and was not going to stop until either one of them were dead. Just as the Jedi Knight was about to jump onto the head of the Transformer he felt himself being picked up and thrown down to the ground, but not in a way that was going to hurt him. He looked up and saw Wonder Man flying back up above him and saying to him, “Just stay clear, I don’t know why I didn’t do this from the start”.
He then flew as fast as he could right into the giant robot and blew a hole straight into his chest. The next thing the Jedi knew, an incredibly bright light began to emit from the Transformer. Moments later, the entire body of the 60-foot tall robot exploded from within. After the pieces of metal had flown in a million different directions the Jedi Knight could still only see light.
A couple of minutes later the light faded and all that was left was Wonder Man standing there as if nothing had happened at all. The Jedi Knight got up and started to walk towards Simon Williams with amazement. “I had no idea you were that powerful, this season is going to be better then I thought.” Wonder Man then looked over at his only surviving teammate, took out a pair of sunglasses, placed them over his eyes and said, “You have no idea”.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midget’s is Victorious!

(Editor’s Note: Sorry for the long story but I came up with it last night and couldn’t think of any other way to tell it, I hope you didn’t hate it. I also hope you didn’t mind the liberties I took with Wonder Man. I mean, I read up on him and everything I had him do was within the realm of his story but I also realize that sometimes that stuff can be blown out of proportion. Anyways, I hope you liked it.)

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Right Wing

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Sith Lord #13 & 14, & Roadbuster.

The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, & Pegasus.


Roadbuster, in his heavily armored ORV mode is easily blazing thru the old mountain trails of The Eternian Mountains with the 2 beautiful Apokolips bred female Sith Lords Darth Dark & Darth Seed inside. Meanwhile The Right Wing has decided to stick to the air with Silver Surfer blazing the skies and Duncan Idaho atop Pegasus not far behind. Darth Dark senses something and orders her team to take a defensive posture. The Sith Lords jump out and Roadbuster transforms into robot mode. Seconds later it becomes obvious to The Horsemen Squad why The Sith Master foresaw danger when Silver Surfer blasts right thru the Transformer in the blink of an eye blasting him into pieces without even slowing down. Darth Seed makes an amazing jump onto the back of Pegasus and tries to stick her lightsaber into the heart of Duncan Idaho but the Sith Lord underestimates the reflexes of The Ginaz Swordmaster who dodges out of the way of the crimson blade. The blade then goes into the back of the head of Pegasus killing the beautiful specimen, whose blood sprays all over the Sith Lord (later causing the birth of one of The Horsemen’s newest members). The two combatants then fall off of the horse and barely land on a rock ledge where they regain their composure. Darth Seed attempts to blast The Atreides hero with Sith Lightning but he switches his personal Holtzman shield on just in the nick of time. Duncan Idaho then switches the shield off out of fear of what might happen if the shield were to make contact with a lightsaber, not knowing if it could trigger an atomic level reaction. He then dodges the swing of Lord Seed’s lightsaber and quickly slices the throat of the Sith Lord with his Atreides dagger. Silver Surfer flies back around and squares off with Lord Dark. The Sith Lord attempts to force push her opponent off of his surf board but Silver Surfer holds on as if it were a mere wind gust. The Surfer then shoots an incredible amount of cosmic energy in the direction of Darth Dark who is successful in blocking it for a short time until she is over-powered and destroyed by the former herald of Galactus.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!

Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Legion of Doom

Team Sleeping Pussy is Kilowag, Master Mold, & Brainiac.

The Legion of Doom is Allosaurus # 11& 12, Dilophosaurus # 1& 2, & Linus Van Pelt.


The battle of the brains begins as Brainiac and his superior intellect square off against the philosophically perfect mind of Linus Van Pelt. The two of them peacefully approach each other and sit down on two rocks to begin there conversation on the esoteric ramifications of four extinct creatures fighting for their lives against super-powered beings when the imposing figure of Master Mold lands his menacing body in front of the two Allosauruses. Master Mold brings a well-placed double fist down on the neck of Allosaurus #12 killing it, but in a shocking move the other Allosaurus, whether it be from the fierce instinct to protect it’s mate or out of shear luck puts its powerful jaws right thru the neck of the larger Master Mold which sends metal shrapnel thru the head of the dinosaur but also severs the head of the huge sentinel from its body, killing both competitors at once. “See, violence is not always the answer” Linus says to Brainiac as he clutches his blue blanket. Kilowag then flies in front of the two Dilophosaurs as they are struggling to gain a good foothold on the mountain. Kilowag easily blasts the rocks out from under one of the dinosaurs causing it to plummet to its death while he puts a green energy net around the other and simply pulls it over the vast nothingness off the side of the mountain peak. Kilowag then flies over to where Brainiac and his adversary are in a heated conversation about Plutonic & Socratic differences and the path to Nirvana thru non-violence when Brainiac simply gives up. He admits his defeat in the heated conversation (not an argument, because you can’t really argue with a child holding a blanket (trust me, I know)). Brainiac then grabs Linus’ blanket which Linus refuses to let go of even as the frustrated Brainiac throws it into the Eternian mountain crevice saying “who needs intelligence when I can do this”.
TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!

Built Ford Tough vs George Washington's Slaves

Built Ford Tough is USAgent, Jack Ryan, Solid Snake, Fantastic Max, A.B., & F.X.

George Washington's Slaves are Stinkor, Fidel Castro, Jerry Seinfeld, George Castanza, Elaine Benus, Cosmo Kramer, Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Dave Seville, Andy of Mayberry w/ Barney, Ryan Burke, Ron Jeremy, Crimmell, & Wesley Willis.

George Washington’s Slaves are teleported to the center of Eternos City where Ryan Burke is shot right between the eyes and falls dead in the street. Ron Jeremy and Sheriff Andy Taylor are both cut in half by a vibranium shield that boomerangs through the air. “I mean what’s going on with all these deaths?” asks Jerry Seinfeld moments before the mysterious sniper shoots him. Fidel Castro shouts “¡Bueno, todos ustedes! Rápido me sigue detrás de este edificio. ¡Nosotros no perdemos esta batalla!” (loosely translated from Spanish; “Ok, all of you! Quick follow me behind this building. We are not losing this battle!”) They run behind a sheltering building where Crimmell immediately tries to break into. Barney Fife stops him (being the upstanding law enforcement officer that he is) and they both return to their team. Built Ford Tough team comes out from their secure post and charges for an attack. Solid Snake and USAgent have already formed a tight bond and rip through the Slaves. They kill George, Elaine, Kramer and David Seville in a vicious manner. Jack Ryan is laid out with a head butt courtesy of Wesley Willis. “Rock over London! Rock on Chicago! Geico. So easy even a caveman can do it,” says Wesley Willis right before he then bashes Jack Ryan’s head in with his keyboard. Then he, along with Crimmell (who was trying to pick Jack Ryan’s pocket) is riddled with bullets by Solid Snake. The Chipmunks are ferociously clawing at Fantastic Max, F.X. and A.B. and are starting to get ahead in this little battle. But then, F.X. shouts “Rock and Roll” as he spins his antennas around to create a giant dog that eats all three Chipmunks. Unfortunately it also eats A.B. “Dirty diapers! Exclaims Fantastic Max. “No, really. It smells like dirty diapers out here.” Which is because Stinkor is standing behind them. The foul odor causes Max and F.X. to be paralyzed right where they are. They are about to be crushed by Stinkor’s shield but USAgent leaps over and decapitates the evil skunk-man with his shield. The odd duo of Fidel Castro and Barney Fife are only able to survive for a few moments more, as Solid Snake sneaks up and slices both of their throats.

BUILT FORD TOUGH IS VICTORIOUS!

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons

Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches are Uruk Hai #1-8 & Skrull #1.

The Abomitrons are Hancock, Blade, Ax-battler, & Ewok #47.

Although Skrull #1 knows that he is by far the smartest member of his team, the 8 Uruk Hai have no desire to listen to him. This fits perfectly because after seeing how they react to one another, he has even less desire to argue with them. Hancock and the rest of the Abomitrons stand high above their opponents, looking down on them as the orc band +1 methodically marches their way up the mountainside. Ax-battler looks over at his two new teammates who he has just been thrust into battle with and says “Friends, it shall be an honor to shed blood by your side”. He then puts his broadsword into his left hand and offers his right hand in friendship. First Blade then Hancock accept this familiar meeting ritual and then Ewok #47 attempts to shake his hand as well but Ax-battler snaps at him by saying “I’ve known you for a year fur ball”. “So I see this guy is as smart as he is tall” Hancock says about the ewok. He then finds out quickly that he is surrounded by people with no sense of humor as the joke completely bombs. As the fighting Uruk Hai approach; Blade tries to come up with a battle plan but Ax-battler foolishly runs in and attacks on his own. The barbarian warrior quickly kills Uruk Hai #3 & 7, but their comrades avenge him as they team up on the warrior and tear him apart. “Let’s make this quick” Hancock says to Blade as he flies in and grabs Uruk Hai #1 & 4 by their necks and then uses their heads as weapons to bludgeon Skrull #1, while he is simultaneously kicking Uruk Hai #8 off of the mountain. Blade quickly moves in with his sword and relieves Uruk Hai #2 of his arm. He then makes short work of both Uruk Hai #5 & 6 with one elegant swing of his sword. He begins to resheath the weapon when he hears something behind him. The League rookie is almost taken off guard by the one-armed Uruk Hai #2, who has picked up a nearby weapon when Ewok #47 jumps onto the Uruk’s back and sticks his spear into his neck. Blade helps the ewok up and says “You aren’t so bad after all… teammate”.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. The Syracuse Valley

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Donkey Kong, Jenna Jameson, Dark Jedi Master #31 & 32, & Battle Droid #1-6.

The Syracuse Valley is Megatron, Starscream, Moritani Soldier #1, Hammer Bros. #1, & Little Goomba #2.

Megatron and Starscream land on the top of Eternia’s highest peak next to the rest of their team and look off into the distance where the Dark Jedi Masters have led their team to a spot of relative safety. A somewhat frightened Moritani Soldier turns to his brand new teammate Megatron and looks high into the air. He knows nothing of these two new teammates but he doesn’t have to be told that they outrank him despite his seniority on the team. He is about to speak when Starscream interrupts his thought pattern. “Shall we begin with an air strike Lord Megatron” Starscream asks. Megatron replies with “NO! We shall not be so biased to our own powers to think that our teammates are without any use; we shall let them begin the attack”. The bewildered non-Transformer trio of the team looks up at Megatron as he bellows downward “WELL BEGIN SOLDIER”! The Moritani soldier leads the Hammer Bros, and the slow moving goomba up and over the rocky mountainside in an attempt to sneak up on their enemies. “This place reminds me of my Grumman home world”, he tells his hammer wielding companion. The Decepticons wait patiently for hours while their teammates hide in the rock beds slowly moving towards The Kennel members, while the Dark Jedi feel confident in their fortified surroundings. Donkey Kong looms over the rest of his team, easily and quickly jumping from rock to rock with an ease and grace that is quite unbefitting his size. As the Moritani and his men finally reach their target he decides, as if on a power trip similar to that of Megatron’s only in a microcosm orders Little Goomba #2 to move in first. The Little Goomba waddles up slowly toward the base of Michael Vick’s minions, but Dark Jedi #31 notices him almost instantly. “Droids, Move In”! The master of the dark arts orders. “Roger Roger” Battle Droid #3 replies but in his haste he trips over the goomba leaving him vulnerable to attack. Battle Droid #2 quickly makes up for the mistake by blasting the goomba with his rifle. The goomba’s partners, knowing that they are revealed make their move. Hammer Bros. #1 throws a hammer into the head of the fallen droid #3 and then kills droid #1 as well. Moritani Soldier #1 busts up Battle Droid #5 on his way to slitting the throat of Jenna Jameson. Their success is short lived as Dark Jedi Master #32 beats Dark Jedi Master #31 to the honor of removing the Grumman goon’s head. While in the mean time Donkey Kong jumps down from his rock to crush Hammer Bros. #1. “Well, Lord Megatron, are you as unimpressed as I am”? “If that is how you feel Starscream than why don’t you do something impressive”? Starscream decides to answer that question with action rather than words. Starscream turns into his F-22 form and in a matter of seconds makes it to the destination it took his former teammates to reach in hours. He sends down a missile which easily takes out the remaining 3 droids but when he turns around to make another strafing run Donkey Kong jumps onto his back. The Mighty Megatron than transforms into his Cybertronian jet form and rockets toward the two force users. He quickly flips around, transforms, and then lands right in front of the Dark Masters whose red lightsabers are already drawn, yet the two of them stand their ground as if a canary had just landed in front of them. Dark Jedi Master #31 force leaps upward to attack him but with quicker reflexes than they possibly could have expected the Decepticon leader grabs the master of the dark side and crushes him in his grip. He slams a huge fist down onto the rock but DJM #32 quickly evades the attack. Meanwhile in the air Donkey Kong is slamming his mighty fists into the sides of the Transformer Jet, but Starscream continues to climb higher and higher into the sky. Once he has reached an insane altitude Starscream transforms back into robot form and simply allows himself to free fall along with the giant ape as they both seem to revel in the opportunity to trade punches with one another. Donkey Kong holds on tightly to Starscream with his left hand while he puts dents in the Decepticon with his right, but when Starscream fires his thrusters, Donkey Kong instinctively lets go for just a split second to put out his burning chest hair. Starscream then takes this opportunity to transform back into Jet form and fly away while the Video Game star plummets to his death. Dark Jedi Master #32 gets in a couple of good slices on Megatron as Starscream flies in to help his fellow Decepticon, but as Starscream is landing Megatron is able to kick the Dark Jedi into the air and then target him out of the sky with an artillery blast. Starscream lands and says to his general “I think I am going to enjoy this new universe we have just been thrust into”. Megatron replies with “For once Starscream, I agree”.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!

Pre-Season Match

Setting: The Mountains of Eternia
Prize: AT ST
Points: 100

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Better Than All of You Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Right Wing
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. TEAM
Built Ford Tough Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Legion of Doom
Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennellz of Lurve Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Abomitrons Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches

"Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos" Season Two Press Release

That was me only hours before the draft on Saturday. I was hard at work, along with my fellow team members at trying to put together the best possible draft for this season. After all is said and done though, I am happy to say that we accomplished all of our goals thus far. Not to say that there isn't room for improvement, because there always will be in my mind. Victor, Hannah and myself are still putting the final touches on our season two roster and are hoping to be completed no later then Wednesday night. We are all very much looking forward to the preseason match coming this week and wish everyone the best on what has the making's of being a very memorable second season. I would like to say "Goodluck" to everyone this season as we look forward to meeting most of you on the battlefield.

Thank you and God Bless

President Barack Obama.

PRESS CONFERENCE:

I would like to welcome the newest addition to the Horsemen of Apokolips, Ella Artrip! We here at the Horsemen foresee great things for this young warrior. She will begin initial training with the Amazons right away, under the watchful eyes of Darkseid and her parents, Chris and Julie Artrip. Supergirl has already come forth with desire to take her under her wing. Achilles has also stated that when the time comes, he is confident that she will make a perfect addition to the Myrmidons, just as her parents have. I believe that she could very easily become one of the greatest combatants that Fantasy Fantasy League will ever see!

Thank you,
Ryan Poteracki
President of Fantasy Operations
Horsemen of Apokolips

And Introducing...

We here at Fantasy Fantasy League are delighted to announce that Le' Napoleon's Brigade GM Julie Artrip and George Washington's Slaves GM Chris Artrip have welcomed a baby girl into their wonderful family. The beautiful Ella Rose was born on January 5th, weighing in at 8 pounds 3 ounces, and measuring at 21 3/4 inches.

Congratulations!!!

Post Royal Rumble Warning List

Alice's Wonder Team

Kimbo Slice (9)

Tyler Derdon (9)

The Syracuse Valley

Rumble (8)

ROYAL RUMBLE

The floor of Madison Square Garden has been specially outfitted to handle today’s match. In middle of the arena there is an enlarged wrestling ring, which is surrounded by a moat of liquid hot magma. The first combatant is about to be teleported to the ring. Over the loud speaker erupts the famous Roger Daltrey scream from “We Won’t Get Fooled Again” as Aloysius Snuffleupagus from the Untouchables, teleports to the middle of the ring. Then free agent Harley Race enters as #2. The bell rings and Harley charges at the mammoth-muppet and tries to land a high knee strike into Snuffy’s side. This barely staggers the Untouchables member. Snuffy whips his trunk around Race’s side and flips him over the top rope and into the lava, eliminating him. Snuffy is not in the ring alone for very long as #3 teleports in, which is Alice’s Wonder Team’s Kimbo Slice. He attacks Snuffy quickly, laying several hard blows to his head. Snuffleupagus knocks Kimbo away and starts knocking him around the ring with his trunk. A loud growl is then heard from behind them, as The Beast from Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches enters at #4. He leaps onto Snuffy’s back clawing at him viciously. This allows Kimbo to get back on his feet. They start double-teaming the mammoth from Sesame Street. The Beast bites Snuffy in the back of neck, which causes him to let out a massive scream of pain. He flays his trunk around wildly, finally knocking The Beast off of him. The fifth entrant is about to be teleported to the ring. Kimbo Slice’s partner, Tyler Durden enters the Royal Rumble, which does not bode well for Snuffleupagus. The three members from the Bryan Beckerman Division triple team Snuffy. The Beast leaps back on top of Snuffy and continues to slash at Snuffy’s back. Tyler and Kimbo try to wear out Snuffy by hitting him in the head and knees. Snuffy in a last ditch effort, start whipping his trunk around knocking both Kimbo and Tyler off of their feet. He grabs The Beast with his trunk and tries to throw him out, but The Beast grabs a hold of the ring ropes and slips back in. Snuffy picks up Kimbo Slice and starts to beat Tyler Durden with him. He then launches Kimbo out of the ring and into the lava. #6 then enters the ring, Navy Sailor #10 from Team Fred. This Navy Sailor was the one who Brainiac had been experimenting on in the locker room. He immediately attacks the weakened Snuffy. Along with The Beast he attempts to pick Snuffy up and toss him out. They get the mammoth up but couldn’t get him out. Navy Sailor #10 then turns his attention to Tyler Durden. He leaps at Tyler and bites his jugular, killing him. He then tosses Tyler’s body out of the ring, eliminating him. The Abomitrons member, Sgt. Mike Shinsky, now enters the Royal Rumble at #7. He pulls out his side arm and shoots Navy Sailor #10 in the chest, killing him. However Snuffy is the one who is credited with the elimination, when he tosses Navy Sailor #10’s body out into the lava. Snuffy crumples in the corner with exhaustion and pain as Shinsky tangles with The Beast. This match up isn’t contested for very long, as The Beast viciously slashes open the Sergeant’s midsection and eliminates him into the lava. The Beast takes a moment himself to regain some strength as both he and Snuffy await #8. A few moments later Sayid Jarrah from George Washington’s Slaves is teleported into the ring. The former Iraqi Republican Guard bargains with The Beast to work over Snuffleupagus, who at this point has lost a lot of blood. Sayid climbs up on to Snuffy’s back and grabs his trunk and begins to choke him with it. The Beast slashes again at Big Bird’s best friend. As they attack him #9 is teleported to the ring. Ron Popeil from Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies enters. He is equipped with two brand new gadgets. The first is what causes Snuffy’s ultimate demise, which is the Ronco Disposable Mini Teleporter. Ron fires the RDMT at Snuffy with makes him disappear and then reappear right over the lava, killing Snuffleupagus. His other gadget is the Ronco Never-Move Boots. Ron turns them on and secures himself to the ring apron. Sayid and The Beast are trading blows, with Sayid on the short end of the stick. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets member, Usagi Yojimbo, enters at #10. He makes an impact quickly, as he slices Sayid in half with is samurai sword and eliminates both halves. He then runs through The Beast with his sword. The Beast falls to his knees and bleeds out. Unfortunately, Usagi isn’t quite strong enough to pick him up and eliminate him. He turns his attention to Ron Popeil but is interrupted by combatant #11, Team Fred’s Griffin. He swoops in and picks the samurai rabbit up and flies high up into the rafters. Griffin claws at Usagi’s armor as they fly in the air. Usagi is able to flip over and land on Griffin’s back and steers him towards the ring, where Ron Popeil is standing firmly. Just then combatant #12 is teleported to the ring, which greatly ups the power level in this battle. Unfortunately, this power is wielded by utter incompetence. G’Nort of Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderfiles enters the ring and immediately encases all three of the other combatants in green energy cages. He then uses his power ring to patch up the barely breathing Beast. All any of this does is waste time as #13 is about to enter. The Right Wing’s Jedi Padawan #1, Gary, is teleported down. He sees this ridiculousness happening, but before he attacks he takes a final drag from his cigarette and guzzles the last bit of his Diet 7-Up. Gary then lets out a sigh of what seems to almost be from boredom. He nonchalantly walks toward G’Nort and pulls out a big milk bone out of his tunic. Gary waves it at G’Nort and tosses it over the ropes. G’Nort races after it and jumps over the top rope, but just before he lands in the lava he fires up his power ring and flies up into the air with the milk bone. Gary finally decides to take action, and not a moment too soon, since #14 is teleported to the ring. U.S.A.F. Colonel Guy Gardner lands in the middle of the ring, thick mustache and all. “God Damn it! Guy Gardner?! Another freakin’ Green Lantern?? I thought there were point restrictions on this match?” cries out Gary. Col. Gardner lays a mean right cross right across the 14-year-old’s jaw. “Wrong Guy Gardner, you little punk,” replies the Colonel. Gardner turns to attack the other combatants. He is then greeted with a lightsaber in his back. Gary then uses the Force to lift Gardner’s body out of the ring and into the lava. By this time, combatant #15 enters the ring. Legion of Doom’s Randy Couture jumps at the chance to finish off The Beast. He leaps on to his chest and start leveling him with vicious forearms, knocking him unconscious. Randy then calls fellow Nick Houslander Division member, Gary, to help him eliminate The Beast. With most likely some help from the Force, they manage to eliminate The Beast finally. Usagi Yojimbo, Griffin, and Ron Popeil are all still trapped inside green energy cages, as G’Nort flies around eating his milk bone. All of a sudden a loud “Wooooooooooo” echoes throughout Madison Square Garden as Better Than All of You member Ric Flair enters at #16. Gary looks around and decides this would be a great time to take a smoke break. He crouches down over in corner and uses his lightsaber to light a cigarette. “Whoa, The Natural vs. The Nature Boy. Cool,” comments Gary. Ric Flair instantly throws Randy over into a corner and lands to loud and wicked chops to Couture’s chest. G’Nort finishes his milk bone and decides to come back to the ring. He lifts all but one of the energy cages. Being as loyal as he is, G’Nort keeps the energy cage around his teammate Ron Popeil, for added protection. Combatant #17 is now teleported to the ring. Lion-O from the Horsemen of Apokolips enters and stares down Usagi Yojimbo. The two swordsmen clash right in the middle of the ring with animalistic rage. As they battle, Flair and Couture continue to fight as well. Gary is forced to flick his cigarette into the lava before he was finished with it, because Griffin is flying full force right at him. Gary leaps in the air and does a back flip over Griffin, slicing one of his wings off with his lightsaber. This causes Griffin to spin out of control and crashes into the lava. Gary, Ric Flair, Randy Couture, Usagi Yojimbo, Lion-O and G’Nort are all jolted off of their feet due to the mighty thud that combatant #18 makes as he is teleported to the ring. “Ah crap. Freakin’ Jabba the Hutt. How the hell are we suppose to eliminate that pile of goo?” exclaims Gary. George Washington’s Slaves member Jabba the Hutt bellows “Da beesga coo palyeeya pityee bo tenya go kaka juju hoopa.” Gary moves towards the gangster but then receives a forearm right to the mouth. “Coona tee-tocky malia, Couture?” asks Jabba. “Sorry Jabba, I was busy with Flair. But it will be a pleasure to protect you, as long as the money is worth it,” replies the UFC fighter. This alliance is extremely short lived, as Ric Flair suplexes Randy over the ropes and into the lava. “Woooooooo!” shouts Flair as he struts across the ring. Lion-O and Usagi are still engaged is a major sword duel as G’Nort guards Ron Popeil from any attack. TEAM’s Eject enters as #19 and is excited to finally be in some sort of sports atmosphere. The transformer is Force pushed into the turnbuckle by Gary. Lion-O and Usagi’s match-up finally reaches its apex as Lion-O blocks a kill blow from Usagi with his Claw Shield. He then uses it to fire his grappling lines to launch himself into the air so he has a clean shot at Usagi Yojimbo. Lion-O blasts Usagi over the ropes and into the lava with energy bolts from the Sword of Omens. He then lands back into the ring only to be blasted out of it by Eject. B.A. Baracus, combatant #20, enters the ring, but sadly exits it almost just as quickly. Gary Force pushes him right out of the ring. “I pitty da foo’ who can’t stay in the Rumble for more than two seconds,” quips Jedi Padawan #1. Gary than fires up a cigarette and makes a spin move, plunging his lightsaber into Jabba the Hutt. Ric Flair then chop blocks Gary’s knees and slaps the figure four leg lock onto the Padawan. The entire ring begins to quake as combatant #21 enters the ring. Syracuse Valley’s Rumble is pounding the ring apron with his pistons but is dropkicked by Eject. Gary while writhing in pain from the figure four leg lock uses the Force to grab his lightsaber, which is lying by Jabba’s body. He then cuts off Ric Flair’s head. “Does this make me The Man?” asks Gary to Flair’s decapitated body. He then tosses it out of the ring. Rumble sweeps Eject’s legs and jumps on top of him. Rumble uses his pistons to pound a hole right through Eject’s chest, and then eliminates him. He then picks Jabba’s body up and launches it into the lava. “There’s a reason they call this the Royal RUMBLE!” exclaims the Decepticon. Rumble then stares down Gary and G’Nort who are both in front of a protected Ron Popeil. Combatant #22 is teleported between the other fighters. Built Ford Tough’s namesake, Harrison Ford, enters the match. “SWEET! Harrison freakin’ Ford!” exclaims Gary. Harrison responds to this by walking over to Gary and smashing a bottle of Jack Daniels over the Padawan’s head and tossing him out into the lava, eliminating him. Meanwhile, Rumble has jumped on top of Ron Popeil’s protective green energy cage and starts pounding away at it. “So what second rate Wookie are you supposed to be?” Ford asks G’Nort. But before G’Nort can answer, #23 is teleported to the ring. It happens to be one of President-Elect Obama’s personal bodyguards, Tarfful. The Wookie Chieftain punches G’Nort right in the mouth and shoots him in the head with his massive long-gun. Tarfful picks up G’Nort’s body and tosses it into the lava. He then looks a Harrison Ford with what seems to be slight puzzlement. Since G’Nort has been eliminated, Popeil’s green energy cage that was protecting him vanishes. Tarfful is tackled by Rumble and they start to fight. Harrison Ford kicks Ron in the stomach and tries to eliminate him but cannot lift him due to the Ronco Never-Move Boots. Combatant #24, Andre the Giant from Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade, is teleported to the ring. He slaps Ford out of the way and tries to pick up Popeil, but he cannot either. So instead, Andre helps out Tarfful with his attack on Rumble. Andre wraps Rumble up in a bear hug and actually starts to crush his Cybertronian chest. The Decepticon head butts Andre, which causes the giant to release his hold. He then shoots Andre in the chest with his gun, and eliminates him. Just then, #25 enters the fray. It’s the Bad Newz Kennelz’s Ookla the Mok, and he attacks Tarfful with great rage and aggression. He claws at the Wookie and just as he is about to come down with a slash across the neck, Harrison Ford knocks Ookla off of Tarfful. Harrison offers his hand to Tarfful, open accepts the help. The Commandos member now owes life debt to the Built Ford Tough member. They team up and attack Ookla as #26 teleports in. Rumble’s teammate Frenzy comes in and they start wreaking havoc. They smash into the fight between Tarfful, Ookla and Ford. Fur goes flying into the air as Tarfful and Ookla are sent flying over the ropes and into the lava. Combatant #27 isn’t teleported into the ring; instead, Horsemen member Bugs Bunny burrows up through the ring, near one of the turnbuckles. “Ehhh, What’s up Doc? Nice boots,” Bugs says to Ron Popeil. Rumble and Frenzy start firing their lasers at the new entrant, but he jumps and dodges all of their blasts. Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade’s other entrant, Sonny Corleone, enters as #28. He leaps at Ron Popeil, and starts beating the living crap out of him. Sonny doesn’t even try to eliminate him. He’s just irritated that this salesman has been in the ring since #9. Ron’s feet are still firmly planted, but he’s fallen down as Sonny continues to kick and punch him. Bugs Bunny races over and rabbit kicks Sonny over the ropes and out of the ring. “I’m the rabbit of the hour, the rabbit with the power, too sweet to be sour. The women's pet, the men's regret. What you see is what you get. And what you don't see is better yet,” Bugs arrogantly says after knocking out the hotheaded Italian. “Hey that’s MY LINE!” entrant #29 angrily says as he clotheslines Bugs Bunny out of the ring. “Superstar” Billy Graham doesn’t last long in the ring either. Ron Popeil uses his Pocket Fisherman to snare Superstar’s neck and yanks him across the ring, flipping him into the lava. Rumble and Frenzy corner Harrison Ford into the ring, but both are blindsided by Rewind, combatant #30. This allows Ford to get out of the way. Rewind puts up a good fight, but is just simple out numbered. Rewind is blasted to pieces by the Decepticons and his remains are tossed into the lava. Bruno Sammartino is teleported to the ring as #31. “The Living Legend” is never one to back down from a fight and runs right up to Frenzy and rocks him right off of his feet with a running knee lift. He is then knocked away by Rumble. Peter Clemenza from the Brotherhood enters the Royal Rumble at #32. The portly Italian starts shooting at Rumble and Frenzy. His bullets don’t affect them as much as their laser blast do to him. Clemenza is blasted right out of the ring and into the lava. Harrison Ford’s teammate Wilt enters at #33 to give him, Bruno, and Ron some help against the Syracuse Valley Decepticons. He’s not much help with only one arm and a messed up eye. His lanky legs do allow him to move around quickly. Chow Yun Fat is teleported in as #34 and sweeps Wilt’s legs out from underneath him. He then karate chops Harrison Ford in the throat. Ron Popeil tries to use his Pocket Fisherman again but Chow sees it coming and ducks out of the way. Rumble and Frenzy start pounding the ring apron again, knocking everyone (except Ron, of course) off of their feet. Combatant #35 enters the ring, and starts cleaning house. The Untouchables member Maul increases his size and knocks Bruno Sammartino out of the ring. He grabs Wilt and uses him as a baseball bat to knock Chow Yun Fat up into the rafters, who then falls into the lava. Rumble and Frenzy both blast him with their lasers, which bring Maul to his knees as #36 enters. Thundarr the Barbarian enters and attacks the Decepticons in vengeance for Ookla’s death. He cuts Frenzy’s right leg off with his Sun Sword. He then decapitates Frenzy. He then uses his strength to eliminate the Transformer. Maul finally discards Wilt’s limp body into the lava. Maul turns his attention to Rumble, who at this point is a little smaller than Maul. The Untouchable member grabs a hold of Rumble piston arms before he can start pounding the ground, and literally rips them from his body. Maul then kicks Rumble out and into the lava. Combatant #37 is teleported into the ring and attacks wildly. Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches member, Warg #1, smells Ron Popeil’s blood and races toward him. But Thundarr leaps on to it’s back and rides him towards the ropes. He gets the Warg to jump over the ropes and at the last second, Thundarr leaps off back into the ring, letting Warg #1 fall into the lava. “I am a Real American, Fight for the rights of every man” is heard over the loudspeakers as #38 enters the ring. “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan is teleported in and delivers a big boot to Thundarr the Barbarian and launches him out of the ring. Hogan then goes and attempts to body slam Ron Popeil out of the ring. But this is a hard feat with the Never-Move Boots. Ron lets out an awful scream as Hogan rips Popeil up off of the apron and body slams him into the lava. Hogan turns around to see that Popeil’s legs from knee down are still attached to the ring with the Never-Move Boots. Maul slams his fist into the ring apron and rips the part where Ron’s boots are still stuck to and uses it to knock Hulk Hogan out of the ring. The Abomitrons member, Death Adder, is teleported to the ring at #39. Death Adder uses to magic to zap Maul down to normal size and clotheslines him out of the ring. At this point the final combatant is teleported in to the Royal Rumble. It’s Nick Houslander from The Right Wing. Just as he is teleported in, he witnesses Death Adder kill Harrison Ford and launch him into the lava. “Nooooooooooooo!!!” screams Nick, as he watches Ford disintegrate in the hot magma. “Ok Death Adder, I’ve beaten you a million time in the game. This won’t be any different,” says Nick. He pulls out his double barrel shotgun and blasts Death Adder square in the chest. This brings Death Adder to one knee, but does not stop him for long. The 7’11” 900 lbs. keeps coming at him, and shows Nick meaning of the word “Abomitron” and continues to destroy everything in his path. He knocks Nick around the ring from pillar to post. “The Big House” tries desperately to form some sort of offensive, but is just simply outmatched. Death Adder kicks him hard into the turnbuckles and then picks him up over his head and eliminates Nick to win the Royal Rumble. As Nick perishes in the lava, a giant scroll comes down from the rafters pointing out that he received a B- for this match.

THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!

The Abomitrons win Blackbird-1 (X-Men’s Jet) for winning the Royal Rumble.

The Right Wing wins the Millennium Chowder (Josh’s Daytona Pacifica) for being the last person eliminated.

The Untouchables win General Grievous’s Wheel Bike for eliminating the most characters. (Eight: Harley Race, Kimbo Slice, Navy Sailor #10, Bruno Sammartino, Chow Yun Fat, Wilt, Rumble & Hulk Hogan.)

Royal Rumble Entrants

Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches: The Beast & Warg #1
Team Fred: Griffin (Johnny Horton) & Navy Sailor #10 (Brainiac Enhanced)
The Abomitrons: Death Adder & Sgt. Mike Shinsky
Alice's Wonder Team: Tyler Durden & Kimbo Slice
Horsemen of Apokolips: Lion-O & Bugs Bunny
TEAM: Eject & Rewind
The Untouchables: Maul & Aloysius Snuffleupagus
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv: Thundarr the Barbarian & Ookla the Mok
George Washington's Slaves: Jabba the Hutt & Sayid Jarrah
Le' Napoleon's Brigade: Andre the Giant & Santino 'Sonny' Corleone
Legion of Doom: Randy Couture & B.A. Baracus
The Syracuse Valley: Rumble & Frenzy
Hannah & Barack's Commandos: Chow Yun Fat & Tarfful
Better Than All of You: Hulk Hogan & "Nature Boy" Ric Flair
The Right Wing: Gary (Jedi Padawan #1) & Nick Houslander
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies: G'Nort & Ron Popeil
Built Ford Tough: Harrison Ford & Wilt
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Usagi Yojimbo & Peter Clemenza
Waiver Entrants: "Superstar" Billy Graham, Harley Race, Bruno Sammartino, & Colonel Guy Gardner

Season 2 Characters

The character lists for the Second Season of Fantasy Fantasy League are now up! You can find them on the right side of this website. Start your prospect lists now! We, the Commissioners, are looking forward to seeing you all at the 2009 FFL Draft this February.

Josh Houslander
Commissioner

Ryan Poteracki
Vice-Commissioner

2009 Draft Rules

-There will be 32 rounds in the draft.
-The draft will be done in a serpentine order (1-18 on the odd rounds and 18-1 on the even rounds).
-4 of your picks can be characters that are not on the draft list.
-1 of your 4 off list picks can be a group of people.
-Your group pick is subject to approval by the comissioner.
-If you have a group in mind and you are unsure if they will be approved you can talk to the commissioner and gain pre-approval (it will be kept confidential).
-When drafting commons in the first 5 rounds you may take as many as you want (up to 100% of those available).
-In rounds 6-32 you cannot take more than half of the amount of commons available in 1 pick (if you would like to take more of them with other picks you can).
-Your first 5 picks cannot be dropped from your roster for the entire 2009 season.
-Your first 2 picks cannot be dropped or traded from your roster for the entire 2009 season.
-Your first pick can never be dropped from your roster and cannot be traded until after the 2009-2010 seasons.

Calender of Notable Fantasy Fantasy Dates

December 1, 2008: Due date for Royal Rumble entries.
February 5, 2009: Free agency is temporarily suspended (rosters are not frozen and trading is still allowed, only characters on the waiver wire cannot be added to your roster).
February 7, 2009: The 2009 Fantasy Fantasy League Draft (A temporary waiver order will be set in place for any undrafted or waiver wire characters that may be wanted by any team owner).
February 12, 2009: Due date for Pre-Season line-ups.
February 16, 2009: Any requested characters that went undrafted or were previously on the waiver wires will be released to the proper team owner.
February 17, 2009: Due date for official/finalized Season 2 rosters.
February 18, 2009: Free agency is re-opened and the waiver wire is returned to first come first serve.
February 19, 2009: Due date for Week 1 line-ups.
February 20, 2009: Official beginning of The 2009 Fantasy Fantasy Season.

Newly Added Preseason Match

Prize: AT-ST
Points: 100
Setting: The Mountains of Eternia

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battallion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Better Than All of You Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Right Wing
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. TEAM
Built Ford Tough Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Team Fred Vs. Legion of Doom
Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurv Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Abomitrons Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches

2009 FFL Draft Spots

1. Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies (traded 1st & 2nd Round rights away to Horsemen of Apokolips)
2. Alice's Wonder Team
3. The Untouchables
4. Team Fred
5. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
6. Better Than All of You
7. Horsemen of Apokolips
8. The Syracuse Valley
9. Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches
10. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
11. The Abomitrons (new ownership, formerly Reign Supremacy)
12. Hannah Montana & (President Elect) Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
13. Legion of Doom (new ownership, name possibly to change)
14. Built Ford Tough
15. George Washington's Slaves
16. The Right Wing
17. Le' Napoleon's Brigade
18. TEAM

Note from the Commissioner

On behalf of myself, The Nick Houslander Division, The National League, and all in involved in The Fantasy Fantasy Community I would like to send out my most heartfelt congratulations to Mily, Victor, Dave, Ellen, Jar Jar, and of course Barack and the rest of his Commandos on becoming only the 43rd person in U.S. history to undertake the most difficult job in the world (and no I don't mean being the head coach of a FFL team). I hope his administration gives us all a taste of "The Best of Both Worlds" in what will be a difficult journey. So from the head Watcher and from every member of The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: God Bless Barack Obama and God Bless America.

-Your humble Commissioner

Josh

The Commandos

Mandatory Royal Rumble Match!

Setting: Madison Square Garden
Entrants: 2 from each team and 4 from the waiver wire. (40 total)
Points: 20 (single character), 30 (combined total for both characters)
Prize: Blackbird-1 (X-Men Jet)
Runner-Up Prize: Millennium Chowder (Josh’s Daytona Pacifica)
Most Eliminations Prize: General Grievous’s Wheel Bike

Yep... This is a mandatory match.

Before the match begins, the contestants draw spots in the Rumble. The match consists of forty participants, beginning with the two characters who chose entry numbers one and two in the ring. At regular timed intervals, one of the remaining 38 characters enters the ring via teleportation. Participants must eliminate (i.e. kill) all other opponents, and the winner of the event is the last character remaining after all others have been eliminated. The ring will be surrounded by a moat of lava.

There are limits to who you may enter in the match. You must enter two characters into the Royal Rumble. The point cap on a single character is 20 points, and with the combined total of 30 points for both of them. This is a deathmatch. The deadline to enter combatants will be December 1^st. Remember this is a mandatory match (think of it like pre-season). If you do not e-mail Josh or Ryan with your two characters, they will be chosen for you. There will be several prizes to be won. There will be 4 entries from the waiver list to reach the total of 40 participants.

Feel free to e-mail Ryan with any questions you may have.

Fantasy Fantasy League: Season 2 Schedule

Week 1
Setting: Detroit
Points: 75
Prize: Land Speeder

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Untouchables
Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv Vs. TEAM
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Team Fred Vs. The Abomitrons
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Built Ford Tough
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Legion of Doom
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. The Right Wing
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Better Than All of You


Week 2
Setting: Valverdi
Points: 200
Prize: A Ferrarri

Built Ford Tough Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both
Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Brock Sampsons Fighting Murderflies
Better Than All of You Vs. The Right Wing
Team Fred Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM
The Abomitrons Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
The Syracuse Valley Vs. Legion of Doom
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade


Week 3
Setting: The Atlantic Ocean
Points: 500
Prize: Swiff Boat

Built Ford Tough Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
Better Than All of You Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds"
Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Team Fred
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Micheal Vicks Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Legion of Doom
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. TEAM
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. The Abomitrons
The Right Wing Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
The Syracuse Valley Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies


Week 4
Setting: Arrakis
Points: 800
Prize: Arwing

Built Ford Tough Vs. Team Fred
Better Than All of You Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
The Untouchables VS. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons
TEAM Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battlion of
Commandos
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Right Wing
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Legion of Doom


Week 5
Setting: The Milkey Way
Points: 1200
Prize: Batman Week?

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing
Built Ford Tough Vs. TEAM
Better Than All of You Vs. The Abomitrons
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
Team Fred Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. Legion of Doom
The Syracuse Valley Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets


Week 6
Setting: 50,000 Acre Open Grassland
Points: 2000
Prize: Unique Star Wars Week?

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM
Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches Vs. Team Fred
Better Than All of You Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Built Ford Tough Vs. The Untouchables
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
The Right Wing Vs. Legion of Doom
The Syracuse Valley Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds"
Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Abomitrons Vs. Alice's Wonder Team


Week 7
Setting: The Forest Moon of Endor
Points: 701
Prize: Tie Bomber

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing
Better Than All of You Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds"
Touring Battalion of Commandos
Built Ford Tough Vs. George Washington's Slaves
The Untouchables Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeytaches
Team Fred Vs. The Syracuse Valley
TEAM Vs. The Abomitrons
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Legion of Doom Vs. Alice's Wonder Team


Week 8
Setting: The Pacific Ocean
Points: 699
Prize: Snow-Speeder

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Built Ford Tough Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Better Than All of You Vs. Legion of Doom
The Untouchables Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Abomitrons
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Team Fred
TEAM Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Right Wing Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battlion of Commandos
Vs. George Washingtons Slaves


Week 9
Setting: Hoth
Points: 400
Prize: An Ornithopter

The Syracuse Valley Vs. Legion of Doom
Built Ford Tough Vs. The Abomitrons
Better Than All of You Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Untouchables Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. TEAM
Team Fred Vs. The Right Wing
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv


Week 10
Setting: The Jundland Wastes
Points: 175
Prize: Hover Craft

Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obamas "Best of
Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Better Than All of You Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Team Fred Vs. TEAM
Built Ford Tough Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Untouchables Vs. The Abomitrons
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
Legion of Doom Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Right Wing


Week 11
Setting: Bar Fight
Points: 55
Prize: Podracer

Built Ford Tough Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Better Than All of You Vs. George Washington's Slaves
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Team Fred
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Right Wing Vs. Brock Sampsons Fighting Murderflies
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Abomitrons Vs. Legion of Doom
The Untouchables Vs. TEAM
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches

Consolation Match Prizes

Round 1: Rhino: Side by Side

Round 2: Postal Jeep

Round 3: Scooter

Play-Off Prizes

Play-off spot: Y-Wing

Division Winner: F-Zero racer

Semi-Finalist: Sub-Marine

League Winner: Guild Ship

SEASON 2 CHAMPION: The U.S.S. Enterprise

Post Optional Tournament Warning List.

Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Qui Gon Jinn (7)

Alice's Wonder Team

Ram Man (7)

Extinction Alice (8)

The Syracuse Valley

Darth Maul (7)

Ratbat (8)

Omega Red (8)

Master Chief (7)

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs George Washington's Slaves

Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, and Wonder Man.

George Washington’s Slaves are Yoda, Sauron, Thor, Martian Manhunter, and George Washington.

Here it is ladies and gentlemen, the event that probably five or six of you have been waiting for. The finals to the First Annual FFL Optional Tournament. To the victor goes ownership of the antiquated Kuat Systems Engineering Firespray-interceptor-class ship, Slave I. A prize so great that the General Managers of these to National League teams are willing to send their forces into three straight rounds of death-matches.

George Washington’s Slaves are the first to arrive at Ford Field. General Washington gathers his troops over by the Detroit Lions’ bench. He orders Thor and Martian Manhunter to form a line, guarding him from attack. Yoda nibbles on his gimmer stick, patiently waiting for the oncoming battle. He doesn’t need to wait very long, as Omega Supreme blasts through the roof of Ford Field. The massive Autobot lands and (as always) the rest of his body miraculously appear on the field. Out of the rocket jumps Asajj Ventress, Duncan Idaho and Wonder Man. Since Maxima had destroyed Duncan Idaho’s sword in the last round, Ventress has given one of her lightsabers to him. This is in no way a show of generosity or compassion, but just a simple desire not to lose. Omega Supreme transforms and is hit immediately by a lighting bolt called down by the God of Thunder. The initial bolt does close to no damage at all. So Thor follows it up with several more bolts. Head Coach Washington had given orders to his troops that Omega is their biggest threat (no pun intended) and needed to be eliminated quickly. Martian Manhunter joins Thor to attack Omega Supreme, much like they did against Tripticon. Yoda moves to confront Asajj Ventress and Duncan Idaho alone. Arrogantly Ventress moves against Yoda without Duncan. Yoda doesn’t even slow his run. He simply flips over Asajj, and keeps his sights on Duncan Idaho. Asajj Ventress runs a few feet more, before splitting in half like a filleted piece of salmon. Duncan Idaho ignites his lightsaber and to Yoda’s surprise, blocks his initial attack. Yoda is unable to continue the attack because he is blasted by a right cross by Wonder Man. Yoda then Force pushes Wonder Man away, slamming him into the chest of Omega Supreme. He then is smacked square in the face by Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir. This hit breaks Simon’s glasses, as well as sending him flying across the football field, right through the uprights. Thor leaves the battle against Omega Supreme to finish off the fellow Avenger. Wonder Man recovers from the attack and flies directly at Thor. They clash in mid air with such force that the shock waves blast out all of the surround windows. Thor and Wonder Man trade blows, with Wonder Man taking the brunt. Simon thinks to himself that Thor has never been this strong before. His suspicions are confirmed when he receives a lethal energy blast from Thor’s eyes. As Wonder Man falls, Thor returns to his real form; Martian Manhunter. J’onn J’onzz flies over and continues the attack on Omega Supreme. In an extremely unusual partnership, Yoda is joined by Sauron to finish off Duncan Idaho. The Swordmaster of the Ginaz is able to cut the Dark Lord’s mace in half with his lightsaber. However, he is not able to defend himself from a powerful blast of dark magic, nor the amazing lightsaber skills from the duo. Duncan Idaho’s blood stains the field. Now, Omega Supreme, the Brotherhood’s last line of defense, makes what could be his final stand. He strikes hard and fast. The giant Transformer lets loose an unbelievably huge blast from his plasma cannon, completely destroying the entire Detroit Lions’ sideline. At first look, this would seem to be an errant shot, but this was a targeted attack against the Slaves’ head coach. Martian Manhunter quickly flies around the Autobot, blasting him several times. Another lightning bolt cracks down from the heavens on to Omega Supreme. Thor then flies as fast as he can directly at him. Omega then grabs Thor out of mid-air with his huge claw and drives him hard into the ground. Then with one of his massive legs, he stomps Thor deeper and deeper into the ground, until the Asgardian God is lifeless. Yoda then flips and jumps up to the second level to position himself against the enormous Cybertronian. (Just to give you an idea on the ridiculous size difference between Yoda and Omega Supreme; imagine Shaquille O’Neal next to a mouse. Well a mouse holding a lightsaber.) Yoda uses the Force to propel himself towards the last member of the Brotherhood. Omega turns his head, and flips the laser cannon over to the front of his head and fires it several times. Yoda blocks all of them with his lightsaber, but cannot reach his target. Instead he lands on top of one of the goal posts. He takes another leap at him but is caught with a full power blast from Omega’s plasma cannon. The Jedi Master is completely vaporized. Omega then lets out an uncharacteristic scream of pain as he is hit with an amazing amount of evil magic from Sauron, who is down on the field. Then a giant explosion erupts from Omega Supreme’s chest. Once the smoke clears away, you see Martian Manhunter standing there in the hole he made in Omega’s chest. J’onn J’onzz stays floating in the air and the giant Transformer falls to the ground. Sauron doesn’t even bother moving, as Omega Supreme’s body crashes down around him. The dark lord stands safely right in the hole that Manhunter made. The only two survivors of this tournament take off out of Ford Field upon the newly acquired Slave I.

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!

Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

I, Bryatu, will be “watching” the second round Optional Tournament match between Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos and The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets.
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is Qui Gonn Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, E’owyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima and David Bowman: The Starchild.
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man, Salaak, Link, Megalon and Wicket W. Warwick.
I hover above the stadium known as Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan. I weep at the thought of the individuals who normally play upon the field and how, unlike the present battle between evenly matched participants, they have suffered for over fifty years from embarrassment and futility. Nonetheless, I press on and again begin by entering into the locker room of the combatants.
In the locker room of the Commandos:
Qui Gonn: The battle shall be furious and thus, as in the first round, we should utilize our skills and strengths together as a team.
Tracks: I just know that when I enter battle, no matter what I fight, I look good. . . Looking good is what life is all about.
Agamemnon: Speaking of looking good, I think the women have something to say.
Ms. Marvel, Maxima and E’owyn [in unison]: Let’s do this!
In the Brotherhood’s locker room. . .
Idaho: My friends. . . Today, I plan to channel my hatred for the Harkonnens and use it to defeat the Commandos!
Asajj: The dark side will fuel my endeavor! I look forward to some slicing and dicing today.
Omega: Unyielding resolve has no conqueror!
Wicket: Yub nub!
The combatants are ready to wreak havoc upon each other and enter into the stadium. The lights dim, fireworks explode and the battle begins.
The first two participants meet at the fifty yard line and ignite their lightsabers. Both Asajj and Qui Gonn, in their specific beginning spar positions, circle one another.
Asajj: You are no match for the dark side Jinn! Lay your light saber down.
Jinn: Surrender now and your life will not be forfeit.
Ventress: This is a death match fool! One of us will be carried out in a body bag!
Jinn: Very well.
The two force wielders continue to circle one another. Without further hesitation, the two lash out. The loud clashing of their striking lightsabers is heard throughout the stands. Where Jinn is more controlled and fluid with his motions, Ventress’ ferocity manifests for all to see. The irony for all who watch is the differences seen in both Jinn’s and Ventress’ techniques, although both were taught by the same master - Count Dooku.
Ventress: My Master has trained you well Jinn.
Jinn: As he has you too Ventress. . . Yet he has trained you in the corrupt ways of the Sith while I am a true-blooded Jedi!
Jinn gains momentum as Ventress is slowly being worn down since she constantly needs to focus on her use of two lightsabers. Ventress’ mental gaff allows Jinn the opportunity to sweep her legs from beneath her with a force push. As Ventress begins to fall, she loses a lightsaber and immediately uses the loss of the weapon to her advantage. A flurry of crackling force lightning emits from her hand and engulfs Jinn’s body. Jinn screams in agony as the lightning smolders and singes his form. As Jinn begins to rise up, Ventress calls upon her lightsaber through the force and comes down with both blades. The double swiping motions of the blades decapitate Jinn twice. Jinn’s headless body falls to the ground.
Ventress [standing over Qui Gonn]: I must thank Tyranuss’ teachings , not Dooku’s, for my victory. . .
Wicket’s small legs carry him across the forty yard line toward the Commandos. The Lions mascot, Roary, watches from the sidelines. Roary suddenly feels someone jump on his back. Roary is mounted by Dernhelm, one of the Riders of Rohan. Dernhelm steers Roary toward the diminutive Brotherhood combatant. Although small, the ewok wants to taste the meat of the Lion’s mascot and throws a spear into Roary’s chest. The costumed head falls off the mascot and Wicket screams in frustration that he was fooled by a man disguised as a lion. The ewok then focuses on the rider who has now fallen off of Roary. To his dismay, he discovers that Dernhelm is actually E’owyn is disguise. Wicket becomes infuriated that he was fooled twice in one instance. He pulls out a stone axe from his leather belt and rushes upon E’owyn with the weapon in hand. E’owyn blocks the ewok’s blows with her shield and pierces the bear-like enemy through its stomach.
E’owyn: You may have been cute little one, but now you are no better than an appetizer for the Ford Field catering service. . .
As E’owyn lifts her eyes from the dead ewok she notices a brilliantly handsome man walking toward her. She is attracted to him at first until she realizes that he is the Atreides Swordmaster, Duncan Idaho.
Idaho: Shieldmaiden of Rohan, although you are a rare beauty, you must die. . .
E’owyn: I defeated your little pet so easily I am looking forward to a battle worth my while.
Idaho: It will be worth your while m’lady. . . It will be your death!
The Ginaz Sword Master focuses his ability and anger at E’owyn. E’owyn is a fierce foe, but as the House of Atreides affiliate who has defeated Count Hasimir Fenring in single combat, she is still not enough. Idaho impales E’owyn on his blade. She slowly slips off his blade.
Idaho: A death for the Brotherhood.
Having seen the loss of their fellow female teammate, Ms. Marvel and Maxima jump into the fray and head toward Idaho. Their combined superhuman strength and speed should be more than a match for this simple swordsman. Before they intersect, they are met by Wonder Man and Salaak.
Ms. Marvel, Maxima and Wonder Man instantly come together and make a mighty threesome. Their superhuman strength, speed, flight ability and stamina wear each other down as they fight both on and above the field. The Slyggian lantern corpsman waits for his opening. Wonder Man manages to throw Carol Danvers across the field. Wonder Man then focuses on Maxima and Salaak knows that this is his time to shine. The pickle-headed alien uses his ring powers to batter Maxima. Maxima shrugs off the blows, smiles and manages to use her mind control powers on Salaak. The Keeper of the Book of Oa then uses his ring on his teammate Wonder Man just as he is about to finish Ms. Marvel. Maxima is about to then have Salaak finish Wonder Man off when the 40,000 ton Megalon kicks her through the goal posts. With Maxima out of his mind, Salaak focuses on Ms. Marvel who is now being pummeled by Wonder Man. Ms. Marvel is crawling on the field in defeat. Megalon jumps in the air and almost takes flight. He crashes through Ford Field’s roof and comes down directly on Ms. Marvel. Megalon then uses his burrowing ability at incredible speed and places the tattered Ms. Marvel miles beneath the field. Ms. Marvel, nearly unconscious, sees Salaak and Wonder Man dump the earth and astroturf over her body. The alien and Avenger completely fill in the hole so that no air lies within space held by Ms. Marvel’s body. Trapped and without air, Ms. Marvel succumbs to being buried alive and dies a horrible death.
I look at the other participants. . .
One of the original Cymeks, Agamemnon, walks to the thirty yard line. The titan named machine-human hybrid is met by Link.
Agamemnon: You will be destroyed.
Link, who relies on his actions instead of words, simply smiles at the cyborg.
The bearer of the Master Sword begins to pummel Agamemnon. Agamemnon repeatedly blocks the sword with its body. Link is slowly becoming frustrated, but realizes that he has defeated Ganondorf, so he can definitely defeat this monstrosity. Link is wrong. Agamemnon, one of the most powerful of all cymeks, manages to capture Link by his foot when Link attempts to climb atop Agamemnon and destroy its brain with his legendary sword and light arrows. Just as Link carries his sword above his head, Agamemnon, now with Link’s legs in both arms, rips the teen apart. Link falls to the ground in two pieces.
As Agamemnon turns around and scans the Hylian’s body, he is pulled by Megalon’s magnetic vortex. He uses his massive cannon, but there is no major damage to be had against the Seatopian guardian. Due to Agamemnon’s metallic body, the cymek is pulled toward Megalon. Once the cymek is upon the enormous Megalon, Megalon unleashes a pulse of magnetic energy and sends Agamemnon flying across the field, the titan’s internal systems and mind in near shambles. Omega Supreme, with his incredible strength (able to shatter a mountainside with a single blow and lift 300.000 tons with his clawed arm) finishes the cymek with a combination of both his strength and plasma blaster which easily pulverizes the titan’s casing.
A flying corvette hits Omega from behind. Omega, in robot mode, turns around to see the vehicle transform into its cybertronian form.
Tracks: Omega. . .
Omega: Tracks. . . Unfortunately, all those hours of washing and waxing your armor will only be a waste of time.
Tracks: You are only jealous that I not only look good, but am more than equipped to defeat you in battle.
Omega: We shall see, you self-absorbed rust-bucket!
The two autobots clash in a furious battle. Both autobots use all of their strength and skill against one another. Yet, Omega is clearly more durable to the pounding that they have placed on one another since Omega’s armored hide is extremely resistant to punishment. Tracks is not so lucky and looks down at himself in near disgust as he is beaten up: his body is scratched and turf is hanging from his body. Tracks wants to leave the battle and transforms into his car mode. Just as he begins to peel away, Idaho and Ventress jump into the car. Idaho and Ventress quickly slash the interior and internal components of Tracks. Tracks manages to push the two sword wielders out of his interior, but it is too late. As Tracks transforms into his robot form, he notices that he is severely damaged from the punishment suffered not only from Omega, but from Idaho and Ventress also. He looks up in the air and sees Salaak. Salaak uses his ring to make a giant trash compactor, which has now encased Tracks. The walls come crushing down from all sides. Tracks’ essence comes to an end.
Salaak walks away when he is met by David Bowman.
Bowman: It seems as if I am not the only child from the stars.
Before Salaak can respond, Bowman’s energy-like form emits a huge amount of radiation and power (which he absorbed from a nuclear weapon before the battle) and focuses the destructive energy on Salaak. The Slyggian dies and is wiped from existence. Bowman looks upon the other combatants on the field. Maxima joins him and looks at the other team.
Bowman: My other star child brethren. . . Let us finish this.
The two slowly walk toward the remaining members of the Brotherhood. Ventress, Megalon, Omega, Idaho and Wonder Man stand in anticipation of the fight that follows. Ventress, Idaho and Wonder Man battle Maxima, while Omega and Megalon battle the Star Child. Wonder Man flies to Maxima and immediately uses his super strength and speed to strike her. Maxima uses her own strength and force field generation to stop a brunt of the blows. While she is focusing on Wonder Man though, Idaho comes from behind and attempts to stab her. Maxima turns around and breaks the sword in one hand. She is just about to use mind control on the sword master to fight his own teammates when Ventress force leaps from behind and uses both of her lightsabers to strike at Maxima. Wounded, Maxima attempts to use her optical force beams on Ventress, but is unable to reach her since Ventress either deflects the beams with her lightsabers, or force pushes them away. Although the Almerac Queen has superstrength, she cannot stop the damage that the light sabers eventually do. She crumbles dead to the floor.
Bowman realizes that he is the last member of his team. He becomes a being of pure energy and is about to use this to his advantage. Omega transforms into his rocket base with rocket and tank and repeatedly fires his weapons at Bowman. Bowman’s being becomes brighter, having absorbed the energy of Omega’s weapons. Megalon quickly acts and uses his prehensile drill-like appendages to capture Bowman and then tunnel into the earth. Megalon, with Bowman in hand, repeatedly emits a yellow energy beam from his horn-like appendage, launches spherical, red napalm bombs from his mouth and unleashes his magnetic energy pulses at Bowman instantaneously. The amounts of energy in different forms disrupt Bowman’s essence. The Star Child is not able to absorb or diverge such molecularly diverse energy forms at the same time and Bowman’s form disrupts, taking both himself and Megalon to their deaths.
I watch the Brotherhood stand over the hole caused by the two combatants. . .
Idaho: Megalon sacrificed itself for the team.
Omega: A sacrifice that will be remembered and honored in the next battle. . .
As I, Bryatu, Watcher of this match look upon the field, I find Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos defeated. Qui Gonn Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, E’owyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima and David Bowman: The Starchild: no survivors. Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man survive for The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The Brotherhood has lost Salaak, Link, Megalon and Wicket W. Warwick. Nonetheless, I declare THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS VICTORIOUS!!!

George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

George Washington's Slaves are Yoda, Optimus Prime, Sauron, Thor, Martian Manhunter, Collossus, & George Washington.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Tripticon, Gurney Halleck, The Witch King, Supergirl, Kane of Runefast, Achilles, Charleton Heston, & Snoopy.

As the battle begins George Washington and his slaves are no where to be found. The Horsemen begin gathering in the corner of the field when Supergirl says "all of you stay here. They are obviousely hiding in the locker rooms somewhere. Since I am the fastest member of the squad, I will search them out and then fly back so we can formulate an attack. Less than a minute later Supergirl flies back to her teammates and yells "everybody but Tripticon, follow me; the cowards are fleeing the stadium and are out on the streets". The Horsemen, sans Tripticon because he can't fit through the doors rush out into the streets behind Supergirl to find that the streets are completely clear. Heston turns to Supergirl and yells "What the hell are you talking about, they aren't out here". Just then Supergirl's body begins to shift and it is revealed that she is not a he and that Supergirl was actually the shape-shifted Martian Manhunter in disguise. The rest of the slaves then jump off of the top of the Ford Field roof while Yoda and Martian Manhunter use their telekinetic and force powers to lower them safely down to the road. The two generals (George and Yoda) thought that if they could seperate Supergirl and Tripticon from the rest of the team than they could take them down, and so far it seems to be working. Just as planned Thor and Martian Manhunter both fly back into the stadium to double team Tripticon; but Achilles moves quickly to begin fighting with the much larger Collossus. Kane of Runefast and The Witch King stand together to begin their fight when The Witch King quickly shrivels into a weak, dead old man lying on the ground. Sauron simply reabsorbed the powers of the mighty Witch King which he gave him in the first place. Kane once again waves the sword of darkness in an attempt to Desoul The Evil One but Sauron the Deciever has no soul to take. Kane and Sauron then clash with the deafening sounds of armor against armor as Kane the promoted swordsmen weilds The Sword of Darkness and his companion Broadsword while trying to get through the defenses of Sauron's huge swinging mace. George Washington takes aim with his muzzle loaded pistol and blasts Snoopy's snout clean off, he then takes cover as Snoopy's bud Heston blasts some Full-automatic revenge his way. Achilles is moving way to fast for the mutant Collossus but he simply does not have the means to do any real damage to the big Russian. Achilles is landing blows at a ratio of about 15 to 1 but every little hit that Collossus does get in, sends the Greek flying. Optimus Prime sees that his head coach is in trouble so he pulls out his laser rifle and bullseyes Chuck Heston right in his manly chest scorching his chest hairs and reminding the world of what it was like when male Hollywood sex symbols looked like men and not little boys. Gurney Halleck activates his personal Holtzman shield and rushes over to help Achilles. Halleck jumps onto Collossus bumping him back and then deactivates his shield and pulls out his lasgun (so as not to create an atomic explosion between the two weapons). He blasts Collossus in the back pushing him a few feet but still not knocking the organic metal bohemoth to the ground. Yoda rushes in to help his teammate and removes Gurney Halleck's loyal Atreidian head before he can reactivate his shield. Achilles drops his sword and shield on the ground and then spins around pulling a small dagger from his waist. He then dodges a swing from the heavy arm of Collossus and sticks the dagger directly into the small hole that was made by the laser of Halleck, puncturing his internal organs and delivering a fatal blow to the huge mutant. Back inside the stadium Thor and Martian Manhunter have no problem evading the attacks of Tripticon but they are having some trouble damaging the powerful metal skin of the gigantic Decepticon. Supergirl has successfully ripped apart the insides of old man Ford's prize building when she realizes that something fishy must be going on. She breaks through the brick walls onto the outside to see that not only have the Horsemen been fighting without her and are seperated from Tripticon as well but that much of her team has already been decimated. Back inside Thor flies up behind Tripticon and swings his hammer Mjonir into the back of Tripticon's massive dome. The two non-earthlings speak mentally to each other and both land next to Tripticon's right foot. Using their combined super strength John Jonzz and the son of Odin lift up the dizzied Decepticon's leg and flip him onto his back, causing quite a tremor and proving that the bigger they are the harder they fall. They waste no time jumping onto his neck and ripping apart their much larger opponent. Yoda and Optimus Prime waste no time moving towards the enraged Supergirl. Supergirl targets Prime with a blast of heat vision but Yoda force leaps onto the shoulder of his Autobot homey and blocks it with his lightsaber. After Kane quickly evades several of Sauron's swings (which he is so famous for doing). Sauron delivers a stunning attack inflicting 65 hit points worth of damage on Darksol's favorite soldier. Kane of Runefast has been defeated. Optimus Prime then hits Supergirl with a blast from his laser rifle but she quickly recovers and flies right at the Autobot leader. She delivers two quick blows to his stomach and knee and then flies up behind him landing on his shoulders close to where Master Yoda was perched only moments ago. With her powerful (yet attractive) legs planted she grabs Optimus' head and yanks it clean off. She rockets the head at Yoda but the little Jedi rolls out of the way. Achilles feels that he has no need to fear larger oppponents as he moves against Sauron. Supergirl grabs a road sign out of the ground and begins swinging it at Yoda but the quick master jumps and evades every swing, until he uses his lightsaber to cut her makeshift weapon in half. She uses her powerful breath to blow Yoda over but Yoda pops back up and returns the favor with a force push. He then jumps at the taken off guard Kryptonian and leaps at her. He has to use all of the force power he can muster to cut through the strong skin of Supergirl's neck but in the end he is successful in finishing her off. Achilles is holding his own against Sauron but the tides are quickly turned as Thor and Martian Manhunter land behind the Greek prince ready to help out their evil friend. Achilles, despite being triple teamed still has an uncanny ability to block attacks but once a direct hit from Sauron's mace breaks his shield and a similar hit from Mjonir breaks his sword he is opened up to a flurry of punches from Martian Manhunter and a final thrust from a green lightsaber from the newest member of this Motor City beat down Yoda. President Washington remembering back to the time when Thomas Jefferson made him read The Illiad then slices off the ankle of the mighty Achilles... just in case.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!