“I pity the fool who goes out tryin' a' take over da world, then runs home cryin' to his momma!”
-B.A. Baracas
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 4 Match located in Jurassic
Park. They are as follows:
Xavier's Annihilation Squad: Gorilla Grodd, Mighty Joe Young, Dilophosaurs #21-23, Allosaurs #21-23, Geoforce, Feral, Beast, Ewok #50, Ninja Gaiden, A-Team: Hannibal Smith with halberd, B.A. with Atlas and heat axe, Face and Howlin Mad Murdock in a tie bomber, Swift (Authority) and Colonel John Matrix in Iron Man suit.
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies: Ewoks #12-40, The Maxx, Julie Winters - The Jungle Queen, Blair Witch, Jareth - the Goblin King, Dobby, Etrigan the Demon, Black Panther with John Stewart's Green Lantern Ring, Odin, Forge, Red Power Ranger: Jason, Black Power Ranger: Zack, Yellow Power Ranger: Trini, Pink Power Ranger: Kimberly, Moon Knight, The Wu-Tang Clan: O.D.B wit Red Lantern Ring, RZA with Pokeball, GZA, Method Man with laser gun, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah with Starwand, Inspectah Deck, U-God with M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher, Masta Killa with laser sword and Cappadonna.
Let the battle begin. . .
Ewoks #12-40 walk together, strutting their stuff, knowing that they are not only one of the most formidable combatants within Jurassic Park in this match, but that they are, in fact, one of the most brutal forces this FFL week. The terror wrought upon the enemy knows no bounds. . . until they are sprung upon by Dilophosaurs #21-23 and Allosaurs #21-23. The Dilophosaurs open their crests, spit venom at the Endor natives and then attack. The Allosaurs simply scoop the Ewoks up in their mouths and crunch the bodies between their teeth. The Ewoks actually manage to kill Allosaurus #23 and Dilophosaurs #21 and 22. Nonetheless, Ewoks #12-40 a/k/a “Endor Deathsquad” are all killed in the melee.
The entire Mighty Morphin Power Ranger team scours the battlefield for their enemy. They look ahead and see Ryu Hyabusa-Ninja Gaiden; he is a worthy adversary. The entire Power Ranger team attacks Ninja Gaiden. At the onset of the match, Black Power Ranger: Zack is killed by Ninja Gaiden. [This is, of course, a normal scenario that
transpires in any FFL match- “the black guy always dies”]. In a frenzy of Red, Yellow, and Pink, Ninja Gaiden is struck down and killed. The Rangers face “the camera” as NG falls to the ground. An incredible explosion is seen behind the team. They realize that this effect is not the typical PR special and begin to run away as a tie bomber piloted by Howlin’ Mad Murdock (wearing 3D glasses) releases its weaponry. The bombs finally find their marks and decimate the Red and Yellow Rangers, whose body parts litter the forest and bomber’s windshield.
HMM: You should see these bombs, explosions and body parts in 3D!
He notices that Kimberly, the Pink Ranger managed to escape. Murdock is instantly smitten with the attractive girl and does not notice Black Panther and O.D.B. flying next to him. The two
Murderflies hold true to their name and bombard the fighter with colored projectiles, used by the lantern rings currently worn by both. Murdock bails out, but the tie bomber is destroyed. Murdock lands on the ground and is met by the rest of the A-Team members.
Julie Winters - the Jungle Queen, crouches on a branch, looking for prey. She senses her protector, the Maxx close by. She sees Ewok #50 creeping on the jungle’s floor. She leaps off her branch and lands squarely on Ewok #50’s head. The force of the blow causes the furball to crash onto the floor, opening his head like as a soft boiled egg on the ground. Ewok #50 is dead. As Winters turns around, Feral pounces on her and uses her claws to rip Winters apart. Maxx rushes to the scene and howls at his woman’s death. The enraged Maxx rips Feral apart, although he also suffers severe injuries due to Feral’s skills. Maxx turns around and sees Mighty Joe Young. The large ape quarters Maxx and bathes in Maxx’s blood.
Jareth-the Goblin King and the Blair Witch focus on the A-Team. Jareth is heard singing to himself as he sees B.A.
Jareth: Chubby little loser. . . Pathetic little fat man. . .
As he sings, Jareth creates crystal orbs from his hands. The orbs are transported in front of the A-Team by Dobby. Smith, Face, B.A. and Murdock are about to walk over the orbs when suddenly each man becomes bewitched as they are driven to pick them up. Murdock looks into the orb and sees the Pink Ranger in her tight outfit. Murdock lowers his orb to see his beloved, the Pink Ranger in front of him. He smiles; she kills him. Grodd storms to the skirmish and uses his psionic abilities to snap the A-Team out of it. He then sees Dobby, slowly tip-toeing away.
Dobby: On my way now!
Before Dobby can teleport, Grodd reaches the Potter elf and rips him apart. B.A., Face and Smith clear their heads and immediately fire upon Jareth and kill him. In return, the Blair Witch races at Face and strikes him dead. Geoforce then flies to the scene and projects a lava blast which engulfs the witch.
Geoforce: Better than the Salem Witch Trials.
B.A. uses all his strength to throw his heat axe, killing the Pink Ranger. Moon Knight then comes to his teammates’ aid and throws his moon-a-rangs at B.A. The weapons slice B.A., with the last one killing the afraid-of-flying soldier as it embeds itself in his skull.
Across the way, Dilophosaurus #23 jumps out of the bushes and spits its venom at Raekwon. Raekwon screams and begins to bat at his head as the venom courses through his system.
Cappadonna: Raekwon be trippin’!!!!
In response to their member’s drug ride, Masta Killa and Method Man come to his aid.
Method Man: Gonna put a cap in yo’ gecko ass!
Method Man fires his laser gun and strikes Dilophosaurus #21. Masta Killa uses his laser sword to deal the death blow to the dinosaur.
Inspectah Deck and RZA focus on their frenzied friend when all of a sudden Allosaurs #21 and 22 storm out of the shrubbery. Inspectah Deck and RZA jump out of the way as the two dinosaurs focus on Raekwon and rip him apart. In the end, Raekwon’s upper torso winds up in the belly of Allosaurus #21 while his bottom torso is consumed by Allosaurus #22. As the Allosaurs then focus on Inspectah Deck and RZA, U-God with his M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher unleashes a missile down the gullet of Allosaurus #21 and destroys the beast, while O.D.B. uses his red lantern ring to shear off the head of Allosaurus #22.
Black Panther flies through the brush, anticipating his role in the new battle. He is taken off guard as Etrigan jumps from the branches above and lands on BP’s back.
Etrigan: Like a pain on my a$$,
Its pimple comes to a head;
Squeeze the puss out,
Leave the pustule dead!
Etrigan jerks the head back of BP and breaks his neck. Etrigan then leaps off and catches a branch. The demon then rushes to the final melee, seeing Hannibal on the ground below.
As Hannibal reaches the battle, he sees GZA.
Hannibal Smith: I love it when a plan comes together!
Smith uses his halbeard to kill GZA, who crumples to the ground. Masta Killa then manages to use his laser sword to gut Smith.
Both Grodd and Joe join the fray. RZA attempts to use his Pokeball, but Grodd manages to force it down the rapper’s throat. The object becomes lodged in his esophagus and he dies, swallowing his own vomit. Meanwhile. Mighty Joe Young does what comes naturally to the beast and
tears apart Inspectah Deck. Additionally, Beast has now come to the fray. He locates Moon Knight and crushes his skull with a blow to the head.
Colonel John Matrix flies in with his Iron Man armor. He looks at the remaining Wu Tang Clan members. He points to O.D.B.
Colonel John Matrix: I like you O.D.B. That’s why I kill you last.
Matrix turns to see U-God with his M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher facing him.
Matrix: That’s my weapon!
Matrix unleashes a rocket from his armor that, with pinpoint accuracy, strikes the M202A1. The concussion of the blast creates a chain reaction and the missile contained in the weapon also explodes. U-God is disintegrated and with him, Cappadonna is killed also.
Forge is now at the skirmish. He uses his mutant ability to locate the “weak” point of the armor. He runs to O.D.B., who nods his head in understanding. As O.D.B. rises, he fails to see the bird-like Swift race to the scene, killing Forge. Nonetheless, O.D.B. uses the information given to him by Forge to approach Matrix.
Matrix: O.D.B. Remember when I said I’d kill you last? I lied.
As Matrix is about to fire at O.D.B., O.D.B. uses his ring to strike the armor at the proper point. Like “shooting womprats on Tatooine,” O.D.B. manages to open the release to the helmet of Matrix’s armor. O.D.B. then pulverizes Matrix’s face with his ring.
Etrigan the Demon faces Beast.
Etrigan: A beast you may be,
But a demon you are not;
Time to crush you furry friend,
And beat out of you the snot.
Etrigan projects hellfire from his body and kills Beast.
Swift and Geoforce fly around the Clan. Method Man attempts to use his laser gun on Swift, but his blasts cannot catch the quick flier. Swift easily dispels with Method Man. Meanwhile, Ghost Face Killah attempts to use his Starwand and Masta Killa attempts to use his laser sword on Geoforce to no avail. The Markovian uses his gravitational control to force both to their knees. He then deals deathblows to each. Etrigan joins the players in this match and actually manages to catch Swift. He smiles at his new prey.
Etrigan: A bi-sexual gal you may be,
But a demon lover you won’t see;
Your death comes now,
You Buddhist Tibetan cow.
Etrigan kills Swift. He turns around to see O.D.B. and finally, Odin, standing with him. The trio face Geoforce, Gorilla Grodd and Mighty Joe Young.
Odin: I am the King of the Asgardian Gods. You are but a pair of monkeys.
Odin unleashes his full fury upon the duo of Grodd and Young. The two drop dead where they stand. Geoforce, as the lone member of the Squad to remain, gulps. He never completely swallows the air as Etrigan and O.D.B. kill him (with a little help from Odin).
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Season 5: Week 4: Team Sleeping Pussy vs Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches
Team Sleeping Pussy is:
Ka-Zar & Zabu, Wildcat, Moss Man, Den, Dark Beast, Black Cat, Blink, Giant Man, Leia Organa, Jedi, SHIELD Agent #6, Female Sentinel #10, Velociraptor #'s 31-35, Compsognathus #'s 54-60
Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches is:
Victory Leo, Star Saber, Chaos King, Oblivion, Lord Chaos, Dracula, Fafnir, Yellow Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Wesley Windham Price
Backyardigans Headquarters
Chaos King: “Sup Alexis!”
Wesley Windham Price: (Mumbling under his breath) “Oh god…Hey King, how are you?”
Chaos King: “Oh come man, just call me Chaos.”
WWP: “Is there something you wanted.”
CK: “Oh you know, just wanted to say hey.”
WWP: "Okay, hey.”
CK: “How’s Ally doing?”
WWP: (Groaning) “For the hundredth time, I don’t know any Ally.”
CK: “Yeah man, you know I loved her in those Pie movies. Hey (Whispering to him) she ever let you use that flute on her in real life?”
WWP: “I as usual have no idea what you are referring to, now I have to prepare for this…”
CK: “I bet that thing smelled crazy afterwards. Oh hey, I know I’ve told you in the past man but that last episode of Angel where you died and Illyeria was holding you and asking you if you wanted her to turn back into Fred and you finally let her…holy shit man, I was crying like a little bitch.”
WWP: “If you are referring to when I actually died then yes, you have told me about it. It seems to be the only thing that you ever want to talk about. I am leaving now to prepare for the match, so please leave me alone.”
CK: (Laughing) “Yeah man, have a good one. Tell Ally I said hi!”
Wesley walks down the hall and flips the Chaos King the bird as he is walking away.
CK: (Still Laughing) “That guy's hilarious man.”
Sleeping Pussy Headquarters:
Leia Organa: “Come on people, we can win this match. The Backyardigans are going to be a wreck. Pablo’s death really knocked them on their butts this week. I say we strike em early and often. We are strong enough to be able to give the Doctor and the Silver Surfer the time they need to win this thing.”
Dark Beast: “Ahhh yeah, I don’t know if you heard but their not fighting with us this week.”
Leia: “Are you f#$%ing kidding me!”
Welcome, to Jurassic Park!
Den is riding in the front seat of the Ford Explorer taking in the sights of the Park. Black Cat is in the passenger seat of the car, well, her feet are in the seat as she is taking in the sights of Den’s nether regions. Blink and Leia are in the back seat trying to keep their attention on anything other then what is occurring right in front of them.
Den: “My goodness Felicia, you are one hell of a burglar because I think you just emptied me out.”
Black Cat just smiled and looked back at her fellow teammates.
Black Cat: “Okay girls, who wants next?”
Both Blink and Leia look at her with a look of disgust that quickly fades into a smile.
Leia: “Screw it, Den get back here and I’ll show you what a real women is like.”
Back in the other Explorer, Wildcat, Dark Beast and SHIELD Agent #6 are sitting there just staring into the car.
Wildcat: “This sucks man, why does Den always get the women.”
Dark Beast: “What, do you really think if you were in that car anything would actually be happening?”
Wildcat: “I don’t know, but it sure beats being in here with you guys.”
SHIELD Agent #6: “Oh come on, I didn’t know Leia was that flexible.”
Wildcat: “She is a Jedi after all.”
SA #6: “I guess that’s one way to use the force.”
Back in the other car
Leia: “And that’s how it’s done ladies.”
Blink: “That ain’t how it’s done, switch me spots you Jedi bitch, I’ll show you something that you ain’t ever gonna forget.”
What happened next surely was special but I’m not going to give out the details. Let me just say that she was in two places at once and so was he. It was oddly hot but slightly devastating on my overall mental state. After that was all done with I kind of figured Den would be finished for a bit but instead he opened up the car door and just left.
Den: “Well ladies, it’s been fun but I think I’ve done all that I can here. You have a lovely rest of the match.”
Leia: “Where are going to go?”
Den: “We came here with a lady sentinel and though I’m not sure what I can do with that, I’m gonna need to find out.”
Black Cat: “Well have fun I guess.”
All three ladies look pretty embarrassed but I don’t really know why. I mean, it happens to the best of us.
Anyways, after Den left to go find his giant mechanical lady friend the air in the area that the cars were in changed. I kind of figured it was a dinosaur, this being Jurassic Park and all but instead it was a giant dragon. Fafnir dropped in front of the girls’ car and brought enough fire down on their car that would have made Janet Reno happy. Wildcat and his bud’s got out of their car only to find the torched remains of their teammates.
The Three of them then attacked the beastly dragon. SHIELD Agent #6 was easily dispatched of with a quick swipe from his massive paw, while Dark Beast and Wildcat were running towards the back of him. There they were hoping to catch him off guard but before they were even able to a thing Wildcat noticed something out of the corner of his eye.
Wildcat: “What is that?”
Dark Beast: “I’m not sure but it looks like a light saber.”
Wildcat: “It’s Leia, she made it out. LEIA, get over here.”
Dark Beast: “How can this be? We watched her die in the car, there’s no way she was able to get out.”
Wildcat: “She’s a Jedi you idiot. Come on Leia, we need your help.”
Dark Beast: “Why does this seem like a trick? You notice how she is running towards us but is not gaining any ground.”
Wildcat: “Yeah, she’s probably just farther away from us the we originally thought.”
While these two were in a discussion about whether or not their obviously dead friend was still alive, Fafnir had managed to turn completely around and was now just staring directly at the two Sleeping Pussy members.
Fafnir: “You genius’s figure it out yet?”
Wildcat: “Oh shit, let’s get the f#$% out of here. Leia, get moving the other way.”
Dark Beast: “Wait a second, Leia’s obviously not real. Was that your handy work?”
Fafnir: “Not bad huh?”
Dark Beast: “No, not bad at all.”
The two of them stared at each other for about ten seconds when all of a sudden the dragon just said, “Well okay then” and torched the two SP members. They each ran towards the dragon while on fire and did manage to get a couple good hits on him but it was already too late as they eventually were burned alive.
Fafnir: “Well that was ridiculously easy.”
The dragon then heard a noise coming from around him in all directions. He started torching the forest when out of nowhere the SP Velociraptors and Compy’s attacked him on all sides. The Dragon was much bigger and stronger then the dinosaurs but after a good five minutes of fighting there was one velociraptor standing next to the torn up body of Fafnir. The raptor was from what I can tell #34 (I think) and he was now walking with a limp. It was a victory (finally) for Team Sleeping Pussy, but at a great cost that was going to be difficult to bounce back from.
At the other end of the park Ka-Zar and Zabu were looking for an enemy to fight. They along with Moss-Man felt completely at home in the jungle landscape of Jurassic Park. They had set traps all over the place and had been feasting on some dino meat that they had caught. They were getting ready to go out on another hunt when out of the blue they noticed a very nicely dressed man walking down one of the walkways.
I’m not a hundred percent sure how or why Wesley Windham Price was out here on his own but he seemed to be mumbling something to himself. It sounded something like “I’d rather die alone then team with”; well it was something like that.
(Two Hours Earlier)
Oblivion: “Okay Wesley, you and the Chaos King will be teaming up for this one.”
Chaos King: “All right my man, we gonna tear this place apart.”
WWP: “I would genuinely rather die alone then team with this man or whatever he is.”
CK: “This dude kills me, seriously.”
WWP: “I’m serious, let me go by myself. I am meaningless to this team anyways. I don’t even know why I’m going.”
CK: “You serious bro? I thought we was tight?”
WWP: “Stop talking like that, are you not a god?”
CK: “God like yo!”
WWP: “I’m walking this way, do not follow me.”
CK: “Whatever independent man, have fun.”
(Back at Ka-Zar’s)
Ka-Zar: “No need to extend this man’s life. You want him or can I do it?”
Zabu: “He is all your’s.”
KA-Zar then sent an arrow directly in the gut of the former watcher, sending him down to the ground in pain. Ka-Zar then sent another arrow right next to the one previously implanted in his chest, sending another surge of pain through his body.
Ka-Zar: “Now Mr. Price it is time for you to die.”
Chaos King: “Not if I’s got something to say about it.”
The Chaos King was wearing Zabu’s skin as a coat as he picked up Ka-Zar by the throat and crushed his neck, killing him. The Chaos King then got down on the ground with Wesley who was going to be dead soon.
WWP: “Why are you here?”
CK: “I’ve been following you the entire time.”
WWP: “Then how did this happen, why didn’t you stop this from even occurring?”
CK: “I don’t know, I turned my head I guess.”
WWP: “You are the worst god of all time. Do you even have any powers? Other then maybe your power to annoy and sound like an imbecile?”
CK: “I got tons of powers man, I’ll show back in the locker room some time.”
WWP: “Show me it in the match you idiot. Well not me I mean because I’ll be dead soon enough but don’t wait to show us your powers back home.”
As Wesley says this he is coughing up blood and falls completely to the ground.
CK: “You all right man?”
WWP: “Of course I’m not all right, I have two arrows in my chest and I’m coughing up blood. If I’m not mistaken, I believe I am dying.”
CK: (With a huge grin and then a large frown) “Just like in the series finale of Angel.”
Wesley just groans and wishes he would die already.
CK: “Would you like me to pretend I am Winifred or would you prefer me to pretend like I’m Ally?”
WWP: “I hate you, I really really hate you.”
CK: “You wanted to see my power right, we’ll hear we go.”
Suddenly the Chaos King makes himself look like Winifred Burkle (or Amy Acker for those of you in the real world, not that anyone past Goofatu and Bryatu will have any idea what this is in reference to)
Chaos King (Winifred Burkle): “Hold on Wesley, I love you so much.”
WWP: “I have no idea how to take this. Oh what the hell, I love you too.”
The two of them make-out for a while but before Wesley fully slips away he transform back into the Chaos King, making Wesley spit out blood on the retarded cosmic being.
WWP: “F#$# You.”
CK: “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.”
As Wesley finally died the confusion pulsing through his head was far too much to take. He couldn’t tell if the Chaos King was coming on to him or if he was just doing it to be funny. Either way Wesley was beyond happy that he was finally going to die. As his final breath left him, the Chaos King just sat there laughing to himself.
CK: “I love that guy, can’t wait to see him back home. Ah, whatever. Let’s end this thing.”
Meanwhile…
Bryan Beckerman: “Suck on my yellow ring Giant Man:”
Giant Man: “Oh my god, take that thing off. Aren’t you supposed to wear it on your hand?”
Bryan Beckerman: “I find that it is better put to use on other places.”
BB then uses his ring to coat Giant Man in a massive flood of yellow energy, an energy that he is barely able to survive.
BB: “How’d you like that Hank?”
Moss Man: “About as much as you’re gonna like this.”
Moss Man then engulfs the yellow lantern member in a sea of vegetation. BB fights and struggles his way out of the never-ending jungle until he has exhausted his rings power. With an exhausted ring on him he is no match for the two SP members.
Giant Man: “You got any last words or are you going to go out like a bitch, you know, like Pablo did.”
BB: “F#*$ YOU YOU F*#$ing F#$@!!!!!”
Giant Man then crushes the evil attorney and Moss Man chuckles a little as he sees Beckerman’s now limp ring-wearing member.
Moss Man: “You really knocked that thing down to size.”
Moss Man was laughing at his own stupid joke when out of nowhere he felt a slight pain in his neck that was occompynied by a feeling of lightheadedness. He then fell to the ground only to look up and find Dracula staring back down at him.
Dracula: “My goodness you taste awful, oh well then.”
Dracula then with the speed of light finished off the job of draining Moss Man of everything he had. Giant Man naturally was angered greatly by this act but was far too slow to catch the dark one before he could get at him.
Giant Man: “Get back here you cap wearing puff.”
Giant Man then looked around him only to see himself surrounded by three God like creatures. The next chain of events is a little hard to describe, as The Chaos King, Oblivion and Lord Chaos never once spoke a single word to each other. What I can tell you is that all of a sudden Giant Man was no longer there and then he was back, only when he returned he was beaten so severely that he might as well have been dead. Soon enough he was, as Oblivion just stood there and smiled as he very slowly crushed Giant Man’s head until it was no longer there. It looked quite painful so I am hoping for his sake that he was unconscious for the majority of it. The God’s all smiled at each other and then took off towards the only threat left in this match.
The Female Sentinel stood tall over the dinosaur theme park, wondering what was climbing up her leg. Soon enough she was face to face with a teammate of hers, one who looked like he had something other then fighting on his mind.
Female Sentinel #10: “What brings you all the way here to my level?”
Den: “Well I’d say it was for a strategy meeting but I don’t think we have much time for small talk. I’ve noticed you for a while and I just need to find out if there is any way we can make this happen.”
FS #10: “In what is this in reference to?”
Den: “Look, I’m a man with needs and although you are made of metal, I have to say that your breasts just do it for me. I mean, looks at these things, they’re massive and gravity will never have any effect on them. I hope I’m not being to crass for you, but I want to be on you.”
FS #10 begins to blush and wants to say something in return but is speechless. She understands completely what he is looking for but is saddened by the fact that such an act would be impossible. Then like a light bulb exploding above her head she thinks of something that is so crazy it doesn’t seem possible that it came from a robot.
FS #10: “There is only one way for us to go through with this.”
Den: “Yeah, whatever it is just say it.”
FS #10: “You need to get everybody to attack me at once and destroy me.”
Den: “What!?!”
FS #10: “Just do as I say and I promise you we can make this happen.”
Den: “No, I won’t let that happen. Not even I want to risk losing this match for this.”
FS #10: “You know as well as I do that we had no chance in this match. As soon as we knew you were going to be the only exposed penis in this match we knew what the outcome would be.”
Den: “So what should I do then?”
FS #10: “Make sure they destroy me something fierce. It will kill me but if everything goes as planned you and I are going to make history.”
Den: (Hesitation in his voice) “Okay, I hope you know what you are doing.”
FS #10: “Just trust me. Now get to safety as soon as you can.”
Den: “Will do.”
Den begins to walk away when he asks. “What should I do after you are gone?”
FS #10: “Just lay low and I’ll find you.”
Den is utterly confused but trusts his teammate. He then flees through the park and hides inside a small cave.
FS #10: “I’m over here boys, come get some.”
The Sentinel then begins to shoot energy blasts in every direction in an attempt to get as much attention as possible. It works very quickly because before she realizes it, every single member of the Backyardigans surrounds her. The Chaos King, Oblivion and Lord Chaos are all still together and Victory Leo and Star Saber have combined forces to form Victory Saber. Dracula is nearby but he knows that this is not his fight so he stays in the background.
The remaining forces of B3 set their sights on the Sentinel who is just standing her ground waiting for their attack.
FS #10: “Shoot me you pussies, what are you waiting for!!!!”
The B3 members waste no more time as Victory Saber and the three god like creatures unleash holy hell on the female mechanical mutant hunter. It takes only a matter of moments before the once massive Sentinel is reduced to a mere scrap heap.
Chaos King: “All right, we won this bitch.”
Oblivion: “It is not over yet, there are still more battles to fight.”
Chaos King: “What you talkin’ bout, this bitch be over.”
As he says this, a raptor jumps out at Dracula who had been creeping around some trees. The raptor manages to take a bite out of his mid-section but soon enough the dark one has snapped the dinosaurs neck.
Dracula: “Well now I think we are good.”
Oblivion: “Not quite yet, there is still one more battle to fight.”
Den had been waiting patiently in his cave and was beginning to wonder what was taking so long. Many thoughts had been going through his head. Part of him was regretting the decision to just let one of his teammates die like that but there was another part of him that was so excited by the fact of 'making it’ with a machine.
Den was just about to lose the faith when he began to hear some noise coming very quickly towards him. He peaked his head out of the cave and noticed something coming towards him. He braced himself for the worst but then noticed a mechanical creature heading towards him with the same sort of appearance as his teammate.
FS #10: “Sorry about the wait, it took longer to find you then I originally planned on.”
Den: “How did you do this?”
FS #10: “I knew if I was destroyed I would be able to reconfigure myself into something else as long as I did it quickly enough. If they would have been paying attention to me they would have easily noticed, but thankfully our Raptor friend attacked at the perfect time. Giving me the privacy to do what I needed to do by myself, which will allow us the time we'll need to do this to each other.”
Den: “So how do you want to handle this?”
FS #10: “Just leave it all to me.”
Chaos King: “Why you bein’ so vague Oby, where the hell is this final fight?”
Oblivion: “It is over by that small system of caves but something tells me that we should wait a bit before we engage.”
CK: “Well screw that, I’m going there right now.”
Oblivion: “Suit yourself but you are not going to like what you see.”
CK: “I like everything I see.”
Oblivion: “What?”
CK: “See ya later Oby.”
The Chaos King then took off towards the cave and as he arrived at the cave he heard noises coming from it. The noises were that of the passionate variety and as soon as the Chaos King peaked his head around the corner he was overly joyed by the fact that he didn’t listen to his teammate.
Chaos King: “Oh hell yeah Den, I got next.”
Den was completely taken aback by the sudden appearance of the Chaos King but he was also so far gone in his current situation that he only slightly cared.
Chaos King: “Hey don’t mind me, I’m just hear for the grand finale.”
The Chaos King enjoyed watching this incredibly disturbing and honestly painful looking sex act. After it was all over with both Sleeping Pussy members looked quite exhausted and very pleased. The Chaos King was kind of confused at this point as he had no desire to kill either of them.
Den: “So you gonna kill us or what?”
Chaos King: “You want me to kill you?”
Den: “To be honest, I don’t care because even though you guys are coming away with a victory here today, I’m pretty sure that were the ones that feel like winners. Well, at least I do, I can’t speak for her.”
FS #10: “Well, I can at least say that we did it.”
Den: “Whatttt? You didn’t have fun?”
FS #10: “Let’s just say that I’ve had better.”
Den: “No way, now way someone else can do what I just did.”
FS #10: “Look I’m sorry but last time I didn’t have to be completely destroyed for me to get mine.”
Den: “Who was it?”
FS #10: “All I’m going to say is that it isn’t just the size that matters, it’s also the color.”
Den: “That blue donged son of a bitch.”
Out of nowhere Oblivion appeared to the surprise of everyone.
Oblivion: “What are these two still doing alive?”
Chaos King: “I was lettin’ them do their thang.”
Oblivion: “Well, let’s let them do their “Thang” somewhere else.”
It took less then a second for Oblivion to dispatch Den and the reconfigured Sentinel to another realm of existence. Oblivion then looked over at the Chaos King with a look of mild disgust.
Chaos King: “What you lookin at?”
Oblivion: “You realize you’re a disgrace to our team right?”
Chaos King: “You’re the disgrace.”
Oblivion: “Do you have anything to back up that statement or is that all?”
Chaos King: “You back up the statement.”
Oblivion: “This may be the first time I’ve ever been bummed out with a victory just knowing that I have to share it with you.”
Chaos King: “Whatev’s, peace out fool.”
The Chaos King then disappeared, leaving Oblivion alone with his thoughts, which he will gladly take over spending one more moment with him.
Season 5, Week 4: Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. George Washington's Slaves
"I'm an artist, torture is a prerequisite.”
-Dawson Leery
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 4 Match located in Jurassic Park. They are as follows:
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Robert Muldoon in The Modern Age Batmobile (The Tumbler), White Lantern Hal Jordan, Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki, Yellow Ring Guy Gardner (with Alan Scott's Green Lantern Ring and a Red Lantern Ring), Star Sapphire #4, Meriadoc Brandybuck (with Blue Lantern Ring), Larfleeze (with Count Dooku's Red Lightsaber), Indigo Lantern #2, Joey, Pacey, Dawson (He has 9 deaths), The Phoenix Force, Nosyarg Kcid (a/k/a Larry), Katma Tui, Superboy (Clark Kent), Pythona (with Asaaj Ventess' red lightsabers), Gwildor (with a Proton Pack), Hammer Bros. Shaun Poteracki, and Ewoks #41 and 42.
George Washington's Slaves: Cassandra Nova with Demon Rod, Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Zilius Zox, Runner, Shindor of Brontic, Sly Moore, Bender B. Rodriguez with flamethrower, John Connor with Ki Adi Mundi's Blue Lightsaber and Green Lightsaber, Simon Phoenix with M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher, Bill Rieser, Lance Bean, Wildabeest, Warlock, Elongated Man, Crimmell with red lightsaber and Sunspot.
Let the battle begin...
I look down upon the lush jungles of Jurassic Park and hear the singing of one Dawson Leery.
Dawson: So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I;
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the peace in every eye.
Dawson is joined by Pacey, Joey and Gwildor on a hovercraft. The hovercraft flies over the ground, not a focus of any Slave member due to the lack of participant strength.
Wildabeest scans the battleground and notices Ewoks #41 and 42 rummaging through the weeds. As he is about to destroy the cuddly aliens, he notices Bender B. Rodriguez and Sly Moore in the bushes immediately in front of the two creatures.
Moore: Fry them!
Bender: I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do!
Moore: Just shut your mouth and do it!
Bender jumps out of the bushes and startles Ewoks #41 and 42. Before they can avoid their nemesis, Bender uses his flamethrower to scorch the two furballs. Ewoks #41 and 42 scream and run through the forest, igniting pieces of shrubbery along the way. They eventually strike two trees, fall to the ground and die. Superboy flies to the scene and immediately puts his hand through the face of the Umbaran. Sly Moore falls to the ground, dead. Bender triggers his flamethrower again to no avail and Superboy simply shrugs off the heat.
Superboy: Let’s see if your namesake is true.
Superboy uses his strength to tear, rip and cleave Bender apart; never once did the Kryptonian actually “bend” the Futurama robot. Superboy, having destroyed Bender, flies away.
Hammer Bros. Shaun Poteracki (hereinafter “HBSP”) rushes at the New Mutants, Warlock and Sunspot. Poteracki manages to throw a hammer at Sunspot, catching him in the head. Sunspot, although not killed, falls. Warlock in retaliation for his comrade’s injury, infects HBSP with the
alien virus technology flowing through his system. HBSP becomes discombobulated and begins to throw hammers in all directions for no particular reason. Sunspot rises and exacts revenge by
projecting a concussive blast that rips HBSP apart.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: She had two babies. One was six months, one was three,
Inthe war of '44;
Every telephone ring, every heartbeat stinging,
When she thought it was God calling her.
Oh would her son grow to know his father?
Meanwhile below, the Batmobile races through the paths of Jurassic Park, driven by Robert Muldoon. Simon Phoenix points his M202A1 Flash rocket launcher at the vehicle. The first rocket explodes and only nearly misses the Batmobile. As Muldoon is about to utilize the vehicle’s weaponry, a rocket explodes in front of the Batmobile. The crater caused as a result of the blast captures the Batmobile. The game warden is stuck. John Connor pounces on the vehicle and uses his lightsaber to cut away the top. Before Muldoon can find his weapon, he is struck down by Connor. Both Phoenix and Connor are set upon by Katma Tui, Star Sapphire #4 and Indigo Lantern #2. Connor puts up a fight, Phoenix less so, but the result is no different, the two Slaves are killed by the lantern force.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be.
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be sorry?
Pythona wields her two lightsabers against Crimmel. Eventually, the Cheveldae/Trammel clone, which for all practical purposes is a useless and embarrassing character, is killed by Pythona. Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao come to the scene. Pythona is no match for the two Jedi warriors and is killed in only a matter of seconds.
As Dawson finishes the chorus to his theme song, he fails to notice the Elongated Man stretching across the trees, forming a trampoline-like mesh in front of him. As the hovercraft is about to crash, the Phoenix Force comes to the rescue and burns Elongated Man to cinders. The hovercraft flies through the charred remains of Elongated Man.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: He showed up all wet on the rainy front step,
Wearing shrapnel in his skin,
And the war he saw lives inside him still;
It's so hard to be gentle and warm,
The years pass by and now he has granddaughters.
Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao battle Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki and Meriadoc Brandybuck, who wields a Blue Lantern ring. The battle between the Force wielders and ring bearers is spectacular. By using a combination of the Force and their lightsabers, BL Poteracki falls and turns to ash. Brandybuck is lucky and actually kills Vao, but Skywalker exacts a “return”, never “revenge” and kills Brandybuck.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be.
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be sorry?
Yellow Ring Guy Gardner and Larfleeze join the fray and attack Kol Skywalker. Larfleeze wields both his ring and Count Dooku's red lightsaber, while Gardner uses not only his yellow, but Alan Scott’s green and a red lantern ring. As Skywalker is about to be killed by the superior Midget force, Luke’s descendent is joined by Zilius Zox and Shindor of Brontic. Zox falls to Larfleeze, who is, in turn, killed by Brontic and Skywalker. Gardner flies for reinforcements to battle the Jedi-Sith combination. Gardner comes back with the Phoenix Force. Although the fight takes longer than expected due to the ferocity of both Brontic and Skywalker, the two fall to the Phoenix Force-Gardner combo. The two then rise to the sky and join their other flying teammates.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: You look at me from across the room,
You're wearing your anguish again ;
Believe me I know the feeling,
It sucks you into the jaws of anger.
So breathe a little more deeply my love,
All we have is this very moment;
And I don't want to do what his father,
and his father, and his father did,
Iwant to be here now.
The hovercraft dwellers do not see the Contra duo of Bill Rieser and Lance Bean beneath them. With two perfect shots, Rieser takes out Pacey and Bean takes out Joey. Before the two can fire upon Dawson, Gwildor grabs Dawson.
Gwildor: You will not die today, Dawson!
Gwildor uses the Cosmic Key to transport them away from the hovercraft which then smashes into the ground, killing both Rieser and Bean who were in its path.
In the sky, White Lantern Hal Jordan leads Guy Gardner, Superboy, Star Sapphire #4, Indigo Lantern #2 and Katma Tui against Cassandra Nova and Wildabeest and Sunspot, who are riding on a Warolock-hovercraft-like vehicle.
Gwildor and Dawson are now on the ground when all of a sudden, Nosyarg Kcid (“Larry”) pops up. Dawson is seen shedding a tear for his fallen Creek comrades.
Nosyarg Kcid: I’m a huge fan Dawson!!! I can fix this! I can fix this!
Gwildor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Although Larry attempts to assist his teammate and warp reality, he just does not get it quite right. In the next instant, all eyes are on both the Phoenix Force and Runner. Their essences mesh and the lethal combination of universal forces overload and cause a cataclysmic blast that destroys all in its path, being WL Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, Superboy, Star Sapphire #4, Indigo Lantern #2, Katma Tui, Cassandra Nova, Wildabeest, Sunspot and Warlock perish.
Larry, Gwildor and Dawson look to the sky in utter horror at the events which have befallen their teammates.
Larry: Did I cause that?!?
Gwildor: I. . . think. . . you. . . did.
Dawson: Actually, I don’t think so. Although one may argue that you were an impetus for the event due to your repeated f@ck-ups, if I am truly correct in my assumptions, the primordial forces of the two teams attracted one another and subsequently merged due to their natures in an ultimate cosmic cataclysm. We were lucky to survive. If we were in the sky, there would be none of us left.
Gwildor and Larry look at one another. They smile and say in unison: Dawson you may finish now.
Dawson: So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I;
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the peace in every eye.
-Dawson Leery
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 4 Match located in Jurassic Park. They are as follows:
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Robert Muldoon in The Modern Age Batmobile (The Tumbler), White Lantern Hal Jordan, Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki, Yellow Ring Guy Gardner (with Alan Scott's Green Lantern Ring and a Red Lantern Ring), Star Sapphire #4, Meriadoc Brandybuck (with Blue Lantern Ring), Larfleeze (with Count Dooku's Red Lightsaber), Indigo Lantern #2, Joey, Pacey, Dawson (He has 9 deaths), The Phoenix Force, Nosyarg Kcid (a/k/a Larry), Katma Tui, Superboy (Clark Kent), Pythona (with Asaaj Ventess' red lightsabers), Gwildor (with a Proton Pack), Hammer Bros. Shaun Poteracki, and Ewoks #41 and 42.
George Washington's Slaves: Cassandra Nova with Demon Rod, Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Zilius Zox, Runner, Shindor of Brontic, Sly Moore, Bender B. Rodriguez with flamethrower, John Connor with Ki Adi Mundi's Blue Lightsaber and Green Lightsaber, Simon Phoenix with M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher, Bill Rieser, Lance Bean, Wildabeest, Warlock, Elongated Man, Crimmell with red lightsaber and Sunspot.
Let the battle begin...
I look down upon the lush jungles of Jurassic Park and hear the singing of one Dawson Leery.
Dawson: So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I;
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the peace in every eye.
Dawson is joined by Pacey, Joey and Gwildor on a hovercraft. The hovercraft flies over the ground, not a focus of any Slave member due to the lack of participant strength.
Wildabeest scans the battleground and notices Ewoks #41 and 42 rummaging through the weeds. As he is about to destroy the cuddly aliens, he notices Bender B. Rodriguez and Sly Moore in the bushes immediately in front of the two creatures.
Moore: Fry them!
Bender: I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do!
Moore: Just shut your mouth and do it!
Bender jumps out of the bushes and startles Ewoks #41 and 42. Before they can avoid their nemesis, Bender uses his flamethrower to scorch the two furballs. Ewoks #41 and 42 scream and run through the forest, igniting pieces of shrubbery along the way. They eventually strike two trees, fall to the ground and die. Superboy flies to the scene and immediately puts his hand through the face of the Umbaran. Sly Moore falls to the ground, dead. Bender triggers his flamethrower again to no avail and Superboy simply shrugs off the heat.
Superboy: Let’s see if your namesake is true.
Superboy uses his strength to tear, rip and cleave Bender apart; never once did the Kryptonian actually “bend” the Futurama robot. Superboy, having destroyed Bender, flies away.
Hammer Bros. Shaun Poteracki (hereinafter “HBSP”) rushes at the New Mutants, Warlock and Sunspot. Poteracki manages to throw a hammer at Sunspot, catching him in the head. Sunspot, although not killed, falls. Warlock in retaliation for his comrade’s injury, infects HBSP with the
alien virus technology flowing through his system. HBSP becomes discombobulated and begins to throw hammers in all directions for no particular reason. Sunspot rises and exacts revenge by
projecting a concussive blast that rips HBSP apart.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: She had two babies. One was six months, one was three,
Inthe war of '44;
Every telephone ring, every heartbeat stinging,
When she thought it was God calling her.
Oh would her son grow to know his father?
Meanwhile below, the Batmobile races through the paths of Jurassic Park, driven by Robert Muldoon. Simon Phoenix points his M202A1 Flash rocket launcher at the vehicle. The first rocket explodes and only nearly misses the Batmobile. As Muldoon is about to utilize the vehicle’s weaponry, a rocket explodes in front of the Batmobile. The crater caused as a result of the blast captures the Batmobile. The game warden is stuck. John Connor pounces on the vehicle and uses his lightsaber to cut away the top. Before Muldoon can find his weapon, he is struck down by Connor. Both Phoenix and Connor are set upon by Katma Tui, Star Sapphire #4 and Indigo Lantern #2. Connor puts up a fight, Phoenix less so, but the result is no different, the two Slaves are killed by the lantern force.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be.
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be sorry?
Pythona wields her two lightsabers against Crimmel. Eventually, the Cheveldae/Trammel clone, which for all practical purposes is a useless and embarrassing character, is killed by Pythona. Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao come to the scene. Pythona is no match for the two Jedi warriors and is killed in only a matter of seconds.
As Dawson finishes the chorus to his theme song, he fails to notice the Elongated Man stretching across the trees, forming a trampoline-like mesh in front of him. As the hovercraft is about to crash, the Phoenix Force comes to the rescue and burns Elongated Man to cinders. The hovercraft flies through the charred remains of Elongated Man.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: He showed up all wet on the rainy front step,
Wearing shrapnel in his skin,
And the war he saw lives inside him still;
It's so hard to be gentle and warm,
The years pass by and now he has granddaughters.
Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao battle Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki and Meriadoc Brandybuck, who wields a Blue Lantern ring. The battle between the Force wielders and ring bearers is spectacular. By using a combination of the Force and their lightsabers, BL Poteracki falls and turns to ash. Brandybuck is lucky and actually kills Vao, but Skywalker exacts a “return”, never “revenge” and kills Brandybuck.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be.
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be sorry?
Yellow Ring Guy Gardner and Larfleeze join the fray and attack Kol Skywalker. Larfleeze wields both his ring and Count Dooku's red lightsaber, while Gardner uses not only his yellow, but Alan Scott’s green and a red lantern ring. As Skywalker is about to be killed by the superior Midget force, Luke’s descendent is joined by Zilius Zox and Shindor of Brontic. Zox falls to Larfleeze, who is, in turn, killed by Brontic and Skywalker. Gardner flies for reinforcements to battle the Jedi-Sith combination. Gardner comes back with the Phoenix Force. Although the fight takes longer than expected due to the ferocity of both Brontic and Skywalker, the two fall to the Phoenix Force-Gardner combo. The two then rise to the sky and join their other flying teammates.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: You look at me from across the room,
You're wearing your anguish again ;
Believe me I know the feeling,
It sucks you into the jaws of anger.
So breathe a little more deeply my love,
All we have is this very moment;
And I don't want to do what his father,
and his father, and his father did,
Iwant to be here now.
The hovercraft dwellers do not see the Contra duo of Bill Rieser and Lance Bean beneath them. With two perfect shots, Rieser takes out Pacey and Bean takes out Joey. Before the two can fire upon Dawson, Gwildor grabs Dawson.
Gwildor: You will not die today, Dawson!
Gwildor uses the Cosmic Key to transport them away from the hovercraft which then smashes into the ground, killing both Rieser and Bean who were in its path.
In the sky, White Lantern Hal Jordan leads Guy Gardner, Superboy, Star Sapphire #4, Indigo Lantern #2 and Katma Tui against Cassandra Nova and Wildabeest and Sunspot, who are riding on a Warolock-hovercraft-like vehicle.
Gwildor and Dawson are now on the ground when all of a sudden, Nosyarg Kcid (“Larry”) pops up. Dawson is seen shedding a tear for his fallen Creek comrades.
Nosyarg Kcid: I’m a huge fan Dawson!!! I can fix this! I can fix this!
Gwildor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Although Larry attempts to assist his teammate and warp reality, he just does not get it quite right. In the next instant, all eyes are on both the Phoenix Force and Runner. Their essences mesh and the lethal combination of universal forces overload and cause a cataclysmic blast that destroys all in its path, being WL Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, Superboy, Star Sapphire #4, Indigo Lantern #2, Katma Tui, Cassandra Nova, Wildabeest, Sunspot and Warlock perish.
Larry, Gwildor and Dawson look to the sky in utter horror at the events which have befallen their teammates.
Larry: Did I cause that?!?
Gwildor: I. . . think. . . you. . . did.
Dawson: Actually, I don’t think so. Although one may argue that you were an impetus for the event due to your repeated f@ck-ups, if I am truly correct in my assumptions, the primordial forces of the two teams attracted one another and subsequently merged due to their natures in an ultimate cosmic cataclysm. We were lucky to survive. If we were in the sky, there would be none of us left.
Gwildor and Larry look at one another. They smile and say in unison: Dawson you may finish now.
Dawson: So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I;
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the peace in every eye.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Season 5 week 4- Better Than All of You vs The Tijuana Taco Benders
Better Than All of You is:
Ric Flair w/ Blue Lightsaber
Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk
Stone Cold Steve Austin (Assistant Coach) w/ Blue Lightsaber
Red Skull (Assistant Coach) w/ Glamdring (Gandalf the White's sword)
Predator # 11 w/ Green Lightsaber
Space Godzilla
Zombie King Kong
Velociraptors # 1, 2, 3 & 4
Tyrannasaurus Rex # 17, 18, 19, & 20 (#19 w/ Dino Riders Equipment B)
Yellow Lantern # 2
Tijuana Taco Benders are:
Copper Dragons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Brass Dragons 9, 10
White Lantern Swamp Thing
Kryat Dragon #4
Mon Mothma
Justice Force:
Silver Sentry w/Green Lantern Ring
Ananda
Metal Head w/2 Green Lightsabers
Chrysalis
Tsunami
Nobody
Raptarr
Nano
Green Mantle
Boomerang
"Dammit, Rick. I can't suit these damn things up" yells Tully Blanchard. "The damn T-Rex won't stay still"
"Move ya stupid son of a bitch. I'll do it" sneers BTaY's assistant coach "Stone Cold" Steve Austin who grabs the dino rider gear from the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame inductee and saunters over to the T-Rex with his typical BMF walk.
"Now lissen up, ya overgrown lizard. Yer gonna put on this gear. Take us out there and open a can of whoopass on them damn Teeeoowanna Taco Benders" growls Austin
"RRRROOOOOOAAAAA***" the T-Rex starts to growl when suddenly Austin kicks the dinosaur in the stomach, jumps up, and gives the mighty reptile a Stone Cold stunner knocking it out cold.
"Hurry up and get this thing ready, we got us a match to win" says Austin leaving Blanchard looking in disbelief what just transpired
"Well, Skull. How we lookin'" Stone Cold asks the Red Skull, who's hunkered over the team view screen plotting his next move
"Nicht zo great" says the Skull "Ve haf lost almost all uf our dinozaurs, but taken out ze Justice Force, except zat flying turkey Raptarr. I vas most pleased ven ve felled the schwatze Silver Sentry. Zombie King Kong has done a most impressive job taking out all ze copper und one brass dragons"
"I done warned you about bein' racist, Red" warns Austin "Ya just saw me drop that dino, I got no problem whuppin' yer sorry carcass too. Plenty of whup ass to go around"
"Ja, ja. Sorry" responds the Skull "Still ve look ok, but not great. SHEISSE!! Ze Green Mantle just dropped zombie King Kong!!"
"Dammit! Where's the yella lantern!"
"He's finishing off ze last brass dragon. Zose tings talk too much." says Skull "Ah, zere. He has got him. He took his cape and ze Green Mantle has just fallen"
"Well, I ain't gonna let them have all of the fun" says Austin as his fires up his light saber "Telly, meet me out there. It's go time."
Austin teleports to the battlefield and runs into the fracas, cutting down Mon Mothma before she can process what's happening.
"'Bout time ya showed Steve" grins Ric Flair as he uses fires his Sith lavarouk and blasts the wings off of Raptarr, who crashes to the ground and is torn to bits by the two remaining Raptors. Their feast is short lived though, as suddenly vines encase the two and squeeze them to death.
"What the hell?" asks Stone Cold as the vines begins to appear by him and the Nature Boy. Steve begins furiously hacking away at the plants.
"Steve, we got big problems, baby. WHoooo" says Flair, who is quickly becoming encased in vegetation.
"Austin" booms the voice of the Skull. "It's zat Schwamp Ting. He is using the island againt you. I haf dispatched Blanchard to stop him, but he needz back op"
"We got our own problems" responds Austin. still hacking "We just lost Flair."
"I'm fine baby" says Flair "I'm just a little tied up is all, maybe a bit outta breath. Can't really move"
"Dumkoffs." yells the Skull "Must I do everything? yells the Skull, who teleports in with Glamdring and assists Stone Cold in cutting back the assault.
Suddenly, the attack stops.
"Comeon. We gotta free Flair" says Austin
"Leave me for a sec, brother." replies the Nature Boy "I think I hear the radio. You can free me after we finish bending these Taco Benders. WWWhhhOOOOoooOOOO!!!"
"uys. I....ot.....Thing...he....ot..ff' crackles the radio
"What?" says Stone Cold.
"He said 'Guys I got Swamp Thing but he got a shot off' " says a mysterious voice. "At least he tried to before I killed him.
"Nein" says the Skull "You're dead . SAW YOU DIE!!!!"
"Maybe" replies Silver Sentry "But you forgot. We have our own white power. Now, how about we finish this?"
"Hah. You are out numbered?" sneers the Skull "You haf no cha" Skull is cut off as a giant green hand pops his head like a zit.
"You want some?" says Stone Cold as he tosses aside his lightsaber "Come on, son. But no weapons"
"Just the way I like it" replies The Sentry "who flicks his green ring off to the side
the two rush at each other and a legendary battle begins. Each man dishing out punishment, and receiving some in turn. Austin thinks he hears a scream, but can hardly be sure. Then Sentry throws Austin into a tree, when all of a sudden there's an unmistakable huge roar
"Bout damn time" says Stone Cold as Space Godzilla appears
Silver Sentry looks on in shock as the mighty beat opens it's mouth to incinerate him
"Nothin' personal, Sentry" says Austin as he grabs his lightsaber "Yer a good kid, but this team ain't called "Fair Fighting Nice Guys". We're 'Better Than All of You' "
As Silver Sentry is engulfed in flames, Austin cracks open a couple of Stevewiesers. Unaware, that there was still one Taco Bender lying in wait. The Kryat dragon is about to pounce, when Austin turns and whips a beer can at the beast hitting it in the face
"You made me waste beer ya bastard" sneers Austin who furiously jumps on the beast, gives it a double bird, and stabs it right through the skull-killing it.
"OH HELL YEAH" says Austin, who saunters over to his cooler and begins a giant, beer fueled celebration. Then he looks closely at the beasts jaws. There's blood all over the Kryat's mouth and Austin thinks he sees something sparkling. He pries open the dead dragons mouth, when a hand falls out, holding up four fingers in an unmistakable sign with WWE Hall of Fame rings on two of the fingers .
"Damn, Ric. The sumbitch got ya" murmers Austin. He picks up the hand, holds it and a beer and says "Here's to ya, Naitch. Whoooo!" and solemly toasts the fallen horseman.
Ric Flair w/ Blue Lightsaber
Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk
Stone Cold Steve Austin (Assistant Coach) w/ Blue Lightsaber
Red Skull (Assistant Coach) w/ Glamdring (Gandalf the White's sword)
Predator # 11 w/ Green Lightsaber
Space Godzilla
Zombie King Kong
Velociraptors # 1, 2, 3 & 4
Tyrannasaurus Rex # 17, 18, 19, & 20 (#19 w/ Dino Riders Equipment B)
Yellow Lantern # 2
Tijuana Taco Benders are:
Copper Dragons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Brass Dragons 9, 10
White Lantern Swamp Thing
Kryat Dragon #4
Mon Mothma
Justice Force:
Silver Sentry w/Green Lantern Ring
Ananda
Metal Head w/2 Green Lightsabers
Chrysalis
Tsunami
Nobody
Raptarr
Nano
Green Mantle
Boomerang
"Dammit, Rick. I can't suit these damn things up" yells Tully Blanchard. "The damn T-Rex won't stay still"
"Move ya stupid son of a bitch. I'll do it" sneers BTaY's assistant coach "Stone Cold" Steve Austin who grabs the dino rider gear from the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame inductee and saunters over to the T-Rex with his typical BMF walk.
"Now lissen up, ya overgrown lizard. Yer gonna put on this gear. Take us out there and open a can of whoopass on them damn Teeeoowanna Taco Benders" growls Austin
"RRRROOOOOOAAAAA***" the T-Rex starts to growl when suddenly Austin kicks the dinosaur in the stomach, jumps up, and gives the mighty reptile a Stone Cold stunner knocking it out cold.
"Hurry up and get this thing ready, we got us a match to win" says Austin leaving Blanchard looking in disbelief what just transpired
"Well, Skull. How we lookin'" Stone Cold asks the Red Skull, who's hunkered over the team view screen plotting his next move
"Nicht zo great" says the Skull "Ve haf lost almost all uf our dinozaurs, but taken out ze Justice Force, except zat flying turkey Raptarr. I vas most pleased ven ve felled the schwatze Silver Sentry. Zombie King Kong has done a most impressive job taking out all ze copper und one brass dragons"
"I done warned you about bein' racist, Red" warns Austin "Ya just saw me drop that dino, I got no problem whuppin' yer sorry carcass too. Plenty of whup ass to go around"
"Ja, ja. Sorry" responds the Skull "Still ve look ok, but not great. SHEISSE!! Ze Green Mantle just dropped zombie King Kong!!"
"Dammit! Where's the yella lantern!"
"He's finishing off ze last brass dragon. Zose tings talk too much." says Skull "Ah, zere. He has got him. He took his cape and ze Green Mantle has just fallen"
"Well, I ain't gonna let them have all of the fun" says Austin as his fires up his light saber "Telly, meet me out there. It's go time."
Austin teleports to the battlefield and runs into the fracas, cutting down Mon Mothma before she can process what's happening.
"'Bout time ya showed Steve" grins Ric Flair as he uses fires his Sith lavarouk and blasts the wings off of Raptarr, who crashes to the ground and is torn to bits by the two remaining Raptors. Their feast is short lived though, as suddenly vines encase the two and squeeze them to death.
"What the hell?" asks Stone Cold as the vines begins to appear by him and the Nature Boy. Steve begins furiously hacking away at the plants.
"Steve, we got big problems, baby. WHoooo" says Flair, who is quickly becoming encased in vegetation.
"Austin" booms the voice of the Skull. "It's zat Schwamp Ting. He is using the island againt you. I haf dispatched Blanchard to stop him, but he needz back op"
"We got our own problems" responds Austin. still hacking "We just lost Flair."
"I'm fine baby" says Flair "I'm just a little tied up is all, maybe a bit outta breath. Can't really move"
"Dumkoffs." yells the Skull "Must I do everything? yells the Skull, who teleports in with Glamdring and assists Stone Cold in cutting back the assault.
Suddenly, the attack stops.
"Comeon. We gotta free Flair" says Austin
"Leave me for a sec, brother." replies the Nature Boy "I think I hear the radio. You can free me after we finish bending these Taco Benders. WWWhhhOOOOoooOOOO!!!"
"uys. I....ot.....Thing...he....ot..ff' crackles the radio
"What?" says Stone Cold.
"He said 'Guys I got Swamp Thing but he got a shot off' " says a mysterious voice. "At least he tried to before I killed him.
"Nein" says the Skull "You're dead . SAW YOU DIE!!!!"
"Maybe" replies Silver Sentry "But you forgot. We have our own white power. Now, how about we finish this?"
"Hah. You are out numbered?" sneers the Skull "You haf no cha" Skull is cut off as a giant green hand pops his head like a zit.
"You want some?" says Stone Cold as he tosses aside his lightsaber "Come on, son. But no weapons"
"Just the way I like it" replies The Sentry "who flicks his green ring off to the side
the two rush at each other and a legendary battle begins. Each man dishing out punishment, and receiving some in turn. Austin thinks he hears a scream, but can hardly be sure. Then Sentry throws Austin into a tree, when all of a sudden there's an unmistakable huge roar
"Bout damn time" says Stone Cold as Space Godzilla appears
Silver Sentry looks on in shock as the mighty beat opens it's mouth to incinerate him
"Nothin' personal, Sentry" says Austin as he grabs his lightsaber "Yer a good kid, but this team ain't called "Fair Fighting Nice Guys". We're 'Better Than All of You' "
As Silver Sentry is engulfed in flames, Austin cracks open a couple of Stevewiesers. Unaware, that there was still one Taco Bender lying in wait. The Kryat dragon is about to pounce, when Austin turns and whips a beer can at the beast hitting it in the face
"You made me waste beer ya bastard" sneers Austin who furiously jumps on the beast, gives it a double bird, and stabs it right through the skull-killing it.
"OH HELL YEAH" says Austin, who saunters over to his cooler and begins a giant, beer fueled celebration. Then he looks closely at the beasts jaws. There's blood all over the Kryat's mouth and Austin thinks he sees something sparkling. He pries open the dead dragons mouth, when a hand falls out, holding up four fingers in an unmistakable sign with WWE Hall of Fame rings on two of the fingers .
"Damn, Ric. The sumbitch got ya" murmers Austin. He picks up the hand, holds it and a beer and says "Here's to ya, Naitch. Whoooo!" and solemly toasts the fallen horseman.
B3 Press Conference: The Death of Pablo
I believe you all know me. My name is Darth Vader and I am a founding member of Beckerman’s Backyardigans’ Beeyatches.
It is with great sadness that I must report the demise of one of our most beloved, yet controversial members on this team. At 4:36 a.m. this morning, an explosion was both felt and heard by numerous individuals and beasts currently lodging in B3’s main facility. From witnesses who actually saw various portions of the event, it was pieced together that the outhouse located between the compound and lake became engulfed in a raging fire and then exploded. B3 team members rushed to the scene, making sure that there were no fatalities caused by the inferno. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
At 6:09 a.m., Pablo’s body was found. Although it is early in the investigation, it appears that Pablo may have been killed after freebasing drugs with his newly awarded flamethrower. We understand that the official autopsy and toxicology reports may take several weeks before the true cause of death is derived. Notwithstanding, at the current time, there is evidence of numerous bottles, bags and spoons littering the area. The following drugs were, in fact, discovered near the body: acepromazine, amantadine, amitraz, amitryptyline, amlodipine, amoxicillin, atenolol, atipamezole, benazepril, boldenone, buprenorphine, butorphanol, carprofen, cefovecin, cephalexin, chloramphenicol, cimetidine, clamoxyquine, clavulanic acid, clenbuterol, clindamycin hydrochloride, clomipramine hydrochloride, deracoxib, dexamnethasone, diazepam, dichlorophene, enalapril, enrofloxacin, flunixin, furosemide, hydromorphone, isoxsuprine, ivermectin, ketamine, ketoprofen, lufenuron, marbofloxacin, maropitant, medetomidine, meloxicam, metoclopramide, metronidazole, mibemycin oxime, mirtazapine, neomycin, nitenpyram, nitroscanate, nystatin, ofloxacin, omeprazole, oxibendazole,
panacur, pentobarabital, phenobarbital, phenylbutazone, pimobendan, pirlmycin, ponazuril, praziquantel, prednisone, propofol, pyrantel pamoate, selamectin, sucralfate, synulox, theorphylline, thiostrepton, thiabendazole, triamcinolone acetonide, trimethoprim, trilostane and tylosin.
Although charred to an almost unrecognizable level, we also discovered a piece of paper near the remains. Through forensics, we have been able to decipher its words. It simply said: “F@CK YOU ALL!!!! NONE OF YOU IN THE FFL COULD EVER HANDLE THIS PENGUIN JUST BECAUSE I SPOKE MY MIND AND NEVER BACKED DOWN TO ANY PUNK-A$$ BEEYATCH WHO STOOD BEFORE ME!!!”
Given the circumstances of this incredibly nonsensical accident, the members of B3 are asking for your understanding during this difficult time. Nonetheless, no matter what the evidence may show, Pablo was our teammate and more importantly, our dear friend. We dedicate the remainder of the season to the little guy and will try our damndest to make him proud. We will miss him. Thank you. No questions at this time.
It is with great sadness that I must report the demise of one of our most beloved, yet controversial members on this team. At 4:36 a.m. this morning, an explosion was both felt and heard by numerous individuals and beasts currently lodging in B3’s main facility. From witnesses who actually saw various portions of the event, it was pieced together that the outhouse located between the compound and lake became engulfed in a raging fire and then exploded. B3 team members rushed to the scene, making sure that there were no fatalities caused by the inferno. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
At 6:09 a.m., Pablo’s body was found. Although it is early in the investigation, it appears that Pablo may have been killed after freebasing drugs with his newly awarded flamethrower. We understand that the official autopsy and toxicology reports may take several weeks before the true cause of death is derived. Notwithstanding, at the current time, there is evidence of numerous bottles, bags and spoons littering the area. The following drugs were, in fact, discovered near the body: acepromazine, amantadine, amitraz, amitryptyline, amlodipine, amoxicillin, atenolol, atipamezole, benazepril, boldenone, buprenorphine, butorphanol, carprofen, cefovecin, cephalexin, chloramphenicol, cimetidine, clamoxyquine, clavulanic acid, clenbuterol, clindamycin hydrochloride, clomipramine hydrochloride, deracoxib, dexamnethasone, diazepam, dichlorophene, enalapril, enrofloxacin, flunixin, furosemide, hydromorphone, isoxsuprine, ivermectin, ketamine, ketoprofen, lufenuron, marbofloxacin, maropitant, medetomidine, meloxicam, metoclopramide, metronidazole, mibemycin oxime, mirtazapine, neomycin, nitenpyram, nitroscanate, nystatin, ofloxacin, omeprazole, oxibendazole,
panacur, pentobarabital, phenobarbital, phenylbutazone, pimobendan, pirlmycin, ponazuril, praziquantel, prednisone, propofol, pyrantel pamoate, selamectin, sucralfate, synulox, theorphylline, thiostrepton, thiabendazole, triamcinolone acetonide, trimethoprim, trilostane and tylosin.
Although charred to an almost unrecognizable level, we also discovered a piece of paper near the remains. Through forensics, we have been able to decipher its words. It simply said: “F@CK YOU ALL!!!! NONE OF YOU IN THE FFL COULD EVER HANDLE THIS PENGUIN JUST BECAUSE I SPOKE MY MIND AND NEVER BACKED DOWN TO ANY PUNK-A$$ BEEYATCH WHO STOOD BEFORE ME!!!”
Given the circumstances of this incredibly nonsensical accident, the members of B3 are asking for your understanding during this difficult time. Nonetheless, no matter what the evidence may show, Pablo was our teammate and more importantly, our dear friend. We dedicate the remainder of the season to the little guy and will try our damndest to make him proud. We will miss him. Thank you. No questions at this time.
NEWS
Whiale studying for my upcoming match, i have come to and understanding that a blue power ring is reallly only usefull when a green ring is near( whith the exception of flight and force field). I have to call bulls**t, becsue i have absoluty no will power, but my hope is so strong that I am capable of bending anyone over and making them call me rosco. If anyone whould like to challenge me on this matter, feel free, but bring your own ky cause i don't have enough for everyone. Still don't count on the ky being used, i prefer spit.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Spoiler Sport- FFL Week Three Wrap Up.
This is the Ocho. I'm Cotton, let's get to the action.
There's a new name getting a lot of attention in the FFL this week, and that name is Bryan Beckerman. After receiving an absolute curbstomping from "Michael Vick's Badnews Kennelz of Lurve" this week there was bit of friction between the Backyardigans and watcher Gryffilyn. Outspoken B3 member Pablo the Penguin added a bit of fuel to the fire with his usual outlandish comments, which cause Gryff to wonder if Pablo was perhaps being used as the mouthpiece for his team owner. Bryan Beckerman himself has, as of yet, had no response to these allegations.
However, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman is not shy about his inability to rise above hate, as the black lantern lawyer had nothing but evil intentions for the Tijuana Taco Benders. The "Logical Genocide" team member proved once again to be an invaluable asset. Coming off the heels of sending veteran "George Wahington Slave" Santa Claus, he and his new found sidekick Centerion #8 Sue Yerazzov laid unholy amounts of destruction upon the now 0-3 "Taco Benders" culminating in a spot of sexual brutality involving BLBB and Dart Vegetariano that literally tore the Sith Lord inside out.
Elsewhere around the League, "George Washington's Slaves" made good on their promise last week to "F**K you up something fierce" when the met "Better Than All of You" in the desert. The field of perfection has slimmed down to three now, as the "Brotherhood of Evil Midgets" were denied continued perfection by the still undefeated" 'Pop Superstar' Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos", and "Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies" proved once again to be a "desert powerhouse" as they defeated "Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family".
Next week, we head to Isla Nublar, more commonly referred to as "Jurassic Park". To bring you some rumbles in a prehistoric jungle.
That's it for "Spoiler Sport" This has been Cotton McKnight, thank you and good night.
There's a new name getting a lot of attention in the FFL this week, and that name is Bryan Beckerman. After receiving an absolute curbstomping from "Michael Vick's Badnews Kennelz of Lurve" this week there was bit of friction between the Backyardigans and watcher Gryffilyn. Outspoken B3 member Pablo the Penguin added a bit of fuel to the fire with his usual outlandish comments, which cause Gryff to wonder if Pablo was perhaps being used as the mouthpiece for his team owner. Bryan Beckerman himself has, as of yet, had no response to these allegations.
However, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman is not shy about his inability to rise above hate, as the black lantern lawyer had nothing but evil intentions for the Tijuana Taco Benders. The "Logical Genocide" team member proved once again to be an invaluable asset. Coming off the heels of sending veteran "George Wahington Slave" Santa Claus, he and his new found sidekick Centerion #8 Sue Yerazzov laid unholy amounts of destruction upon the now 0-3 "Taco Benders" culminating in a spot of sexual brutality involving BLBB and Dart Vegetariano that literally tore the Sith Lord inside out.
Elsewhere around the League, "George Washington's Slaves" made good on their promise last week to "F**K you up something fierce" when the met "Better Than All of You" in the desert. The field of perfection has slimmed down to three now, as the "Brotherhood of Evil Midgets" were denied continued perfection by the still undefeated" 'Pop Superstar' Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos", and "Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies" proved once again to be a "desert powerhouse" as they defeated "Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family".
Next week, we head to Isla Nublar, more commonly referred to as "Jurassic Park". To bring you some rumbles in a prehistoric jungle.
That's it for "Spoiler Sport" This has been Cotton McKnight, thank you and good night.
Week Four Schedule
WEEK Four: Jurassic Park
400 Points
Prize: Jetpack (Equipped like a weapon)
Horsemen of Apokolips vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos (Josh)
Better Than All of You vs Tijuana Taco Benders (Seeney)
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs George Washington’s Slaves (Becks)
Logical Genocide vs The Transfoamers (Ryan)
TEAM vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Griffin)
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Team Sleeping Pussy (Nick)
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad (Becks)
Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Layander’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together To Make a New Family (Josh)
400 Points
Prize: Jetpack (Equipped like a weapon)
Horsemen of Apokolips vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos (Josh)
Better Than All of You vs Tijuana Taco Benders (Seeney)
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs George Washington’s Slaves (Becks)
Logical Genocide vs The Transfoamers (Ryan)
TEAM vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Griffin)
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Team Sleeping Pussy (Nick)
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad (Becks)
Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Layander’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together To Make a New Family (Josh)
Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers
Team Sleeping Pussy is Super Skrull, Unus the Untouchable, Quicksilver, Zombie Mothra, Weaponers of Qward #1-6, Rivvy Dinari in a tank, and Toro.
Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Sandworm #10, Sandworm #2A, (Kingdom Come) Superman, Nightmare (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Skyfire, Galadriel, Caiera the Oldstrong, Yaddle, and Woodstock
"We have to take to the air unless we want to end up being swallowed by our own teammates". Superman says to the rest of The Dope Fiend Squad. "How do you know that"? asks Caiera. "Obvious this is... Didn't you read the last match"? Answers Yaddle. Superman, Nightmare, and Woodstock take flight, while Skyfire transforms in to his massive jet form to allow the non-flight capable Dope Fiends hop on board. Galadriel and Yaddle both get on board; but as Caiera the Oldstrong is about to board she is blasted in the back by a tank blast from Rivvy Dinari. Caiera shakes off the blast and yells to her teammates: "Take off without me. My own honor dictates that I must now stay and fight"!! Skyfire is reluctant, but Galadriel tells the autobot to "do as she says, her fate is her own". Skyfire then takes off with Galadriel and Yaddle securely on board. Caiera rushes the tank of The Ginaz Swordmaster and crushes the onboard gun. She then rips off the top to prepare for battle, but Rivvy Dinari is ready as well. The seasoned Ginaz instructor jumps out with a vibro-blade in one hand and a traditional sword in the other. He finds that his abilities and speed are more than enough to match skill-sets with The Shadow Warrior, but his weapons are not able to penetrate her stone skin. After brushing off numerous sword hits with minimal damage done, Caiera is able to get a hold of Rivvy and snap his neck. Caiera raises her arms in celebration just in time to get them smashed in to the ground by the flaming stone arm of Super Skrull. At that moment both of The Dope Fiend's enormous sandworms come bursting from the sand. The ultra territorial creatures almost instantly begin doing battle with each other but in the meantime consume Unus the Untouchable in all of his force-fielded glory and crush both Super Skrull and Quicksilver. The much smaller and younger Sandworm #2A loses the territory battle to make Sandworm #10 the lone Sandworm remaining. The Weaponers of Qward begin throwing their lightning bolts at Skyfire, but the flying Autobot manages to evade the attacks. Nightmare then comes in anxious to subdue the Weaponers with his yellow ring, much like Sinestro did to the ring's creators. The Weaponers wish to gain vengence for their enslaved brethren by defeating a yellow lantern but Nightmare uses his ring to unleash his powers like he never has before. He uses the Weaponers own dreams of revenge on the yellow lantern corps against them and capatalizes on their fear of further enslavement. Nightmare creates collars of pure yellow energy which slowly choke the life out of all six of The Weaponers. After this amazing show of power is unleashed, Nightmare's Fantasy Fantasy Career is put to an end when the fearless undead Zombie version of Mothra coats Nightmare with its scales, ironically killing the yellow lantern with the yellow poison. Superman then flies up next to Skyfire and yells to him that it is time to finish this up. "I'm ready" says Skyfire to their Kryptonian Captain, but Superman says: "We had this match from the get go Skyfire, and we don't need to lose yet another fighter for good. We need you to fight with us another day. I'll finish off this team by myself". Yaddle (who has already climbed on to Skyfire's wing) says: "agree with you I do Superman, except for the alone part". Yaddle then force leaps on to Superman's back and uses the force to mentally speak to Skyfire's spark: "Get yourself and Galadriel to safety, we will finish this match before The Sleeping Pussies or our remaining Sandworm do any more damage". The elder version of Superman raises off fast than a speeding bullet with the little Jedi Master on his back. The two of them never speak, they both just know exactly what to do. Superman does not stop as he flies about thirty feet above Toro; but Yaddle leaps off of him. Yaddle, while in free fall ignites her lighhtsaber and slices Toro in half. In the meantime Superman is rocketing through the neck of the rotting Mothra. Yaddle still has nearly a hundred feet of air beneath her when Superman easily doubles back and catches the green-skinned Yaddle.
GRIFFIN'S HIGH MAINTENANCE DOPE FIENDS AND DESTROYERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Sandworm #10, Sandworm #2A, (Kingdom Come) Superman, Nightmare (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Skyfire, Galadriel, Caiera the Oldstrong, Yaddle, and Woodstock
"We have to take to the air unless we want to end up being swallowed by our own teammates". Superman says to the rest of The Dope Fiend Squad. "How do you know that"? asks Caiera. "Obvious this is... Didn't you read the last match"? Answers Yaddle. Superman, Nightmare, and Woodstock take flight, while Skyfire transforms in to his massive jet form to allow the non-flight capable Dope Fiends hop on board. Galadriel and Yaddle both get on board; but as Caiera the Oldstrong is about to board she is blasted in the back by a tank blast from Rivvy Dinari. Caiera shakes off the blast and yells to her teammates: "Take off without me. My own honor dictates that I must now stay and fight"!! Skyfire is reluctant, but Galadriel tells the autobot to "do as she says, her fate is her own". Skyfire then takes off with Galadriel and Yaddle securely on board. Caiera rushes the tank of The Ginaz Swordmaster and crushes the onboard gun. She then rips off the top to prepare for battle, but Rivvy Dinari is ready as well. The seasoned Ginaz instructor jumps out with a vibro-blade in one hand and a traditional sword in the other. He finds that his abilities and speed are more than enough to match skill-sets with The Shadow Warrior, but his weapons are not able to penetrate her stone skin. After brushing off numerous sword hits with minimal damage done, Caiera is able to get a hold of Rivvy and snap his neck. Caiera raises her arms in celebration just in time to get them smashed in to the ground by the flaming stone arm of Super Skrull. At that moment both of The Dope Fiend's enormous sandworms come bursting from the sand. The ultra territorial creatures almost instantly begin doing battle with each other but in the meantime consume Unus the Untouchable in all of his force-fielded glory and crush both Super Skrull and Quicksilver. The much smaller and younger Sandworm #2A loses the territory battle to make Sandworm #10 the lone Sandworm remaining. The Weaponers of Qward begin throwing their lightning bolts at Skyfire, but the flying Autobot manages to evade the attacks. Nightmare then comes in anxious to subdue the Weaponers with his yellow ring, much like Sinestro did to the ring's creators. The Weaponers wish to gain vengence for their enslaved brethren by defeating a yellow lantern but Nightmare uses his ring to unleash his powers like he never has before. He uses the Weaponers own dreams of revenge on the yellow lantern corps against them and capatalizes on their fear of further enslavement. Nightmare creates collars of pure yellow energy which slowly choke the life out of all six of The Weaponers. After this amazing show of power is unleashed, Nightmare's Fantasy Fantasy Career is put to an end when the fearless undead Zombie version of Mothra coats Nightmare with its scales, ironically killing the yellow lantern with the yellow poison. Superman then flies up next to Skyfire and yells to him that it is time to finish this up. "I'm ready" says Skyfire to their Kryptonian Captain, but Superman says: "We had this match from the get go Skyfire, and we don't need to lose yet another fighter for good. We need you to fight with us another day. I'll finish off this team by myself". Yaddle (who has already climbed on to Skyfire's wing) says: "agree with you I do Superman, except for the alone part". Yaddle then force leaps on to Superman's back and uses the force to mentally speak to Skyfire's spark: "Get yourself and Galadriel to safety, we will finish this match before The Sleeping Pussies or our remaining Sandworm do any more damage". The elder version of Superman raises off fast than a speeding bullet with the little Jedi Master on his back. The two of them never speak, they both just know exactly what to do. Superman does not stop as he flies about thirty feet above Toro; but Yaddle leaps off of him. Yaddle, while in free fall ignites her lighhtsaber and slices Toro in half. In the meantime Superman is rocketing through the neck of the rotting Mothra. Yaddle still has nearly a hundred feet of air beneath her when Superman easily doubles back and catches the green-skinned Yaddle.
GRIFFIN'S HIGH MAINTENANCE DOPE FIENDS AND DESTROYERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Transfoamers.
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Phoenix (Jean Grey), Flamebird, Nightwing, Joseph, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Havok, Sheanna, and Sandworm #14.
The Transfoamers are Optimus Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Depth Charge, Scuba, Big Horn, Big Convoy, and Blackarachnia.
Red Lantern Jeff Houslander knows he has very little time to spare when he begins to talking to his teammates out on the deep desert sands. "Listen up, I was just talking to my son in the locker room, he has always been big in to this "Dune" Crap. And if our sandworm is about to do what he claims it is going to do, than we better take to the air, and get the hell out of here". "I have always been near the mighty Shai Halud, and I have nothing to fear" exclaims Sheanna indignantly. "I tend to agree with you, but I am under strict orders to stay put and use my powers on what is certain to be an onslaught of metal bound creatures from The Transfoamers. I realize that this team is under new management, but I dare not question the orders given from the front office of The Horsemen of Apokolips. I may be new here but our team's tactics our legendary". Says Joseph. "Suit yourself Joe, but I am out of here and I tend to think that anybody that isn't with me is going to regret it" Jeff says in retort. Phoenix begins to take off, when Flamebird and Nightwing both offer a hand to the non-flying members of the squad. Havok says indignantly: "I am so sick of you fliers always acting like you are top-dog just because you can get away from a situation like a couple of sissies!! I am here to fight and that's exactly what I am going to do. I don't need your help". "And that is your choice mutant". Flamebird says as her, Nightwing, Phoenix, and Jeff Houslander take flight high above the Battlefield. Sheanna begins to say a prayer to Shai Halud: The Lord of the Desert, when two seperate rumbles approach the center of the battlefield. Wormsign appears to her North and heading that direction, when further North the entire Beast Wars Crew, led by Optimas Primal is heading South; fully prepared to do battle with The Horsemen; and creating an even larger tremor in the ground than the subtle wormsign. The Maximals stand firm as the dunes begin to quake and then begin to charge the hole as the massive Sandworm #14 exits straight up out of the sand. Optimus Primal orders The Maximals to scatter, but some are quicker and better in the desert setting than others. Nightscream, Savage, Depth Charge, and Scuba all die in the initial open-mouthed flop of the massive Arrakis-born Beast. As most of The Maximals regroup behind their leader Optimus Primal; Airazor, The female Peregrine Falcon and Silverbolt, the grey wolf golden eagle both instinctively transform and take to the air. Their actions were meant simply to evade the oncoming sandworm and were taken off guard when they are both blinded and pushed back by the power and heat of Phoenix. By the time they begin to gain their composure Flamebird and Nightwing have shot through their sparks like little flesh bullets. "Well that's just Prime" Optimus Primal says with a disgruntled hint of sarcasm. "it appears that the air isn't any safer than the sands". Sheanna stands firm on the ground as the mighty worm passes her by. Optimus Primal is confused by this, but decides that it is towards this human woman that he and his confused band of Beast Warriors should target their attack. But before they can they find themselves moving in the opposite direction all together. Joseph, the clone of Magneto has taken control of the entire bunched up Transfoamers squadron and is bringing them in close to himself. Joseph doesn't quite have the control over his powers that the original Magneto has, but his abilities are significant. He knows that if he can bring all of these massive robots in close to him that he can crush them in to one giant ball of scrap metal. He begins by pushing Tigatron and Cheetor together when the magnetic vibrations of his powers summon the great Shai Halud like no Fremen-devised thumper could ever dream of doing. The massive sandworm pops back out of the sand as The Horsemen front office had planned but this time Joseph has The Maximals nice and bunched up. Joseph dies along with his enemies but his actions kill Cheetor, Rattrap, Tigatron, and Big Convoy. Thus making his FFL Debut quite a success. Optimus Primal and the rest of The Maximals break free of the magnetic hold and begin to open fire on Sandworm #14. "Focus on the center of the worm with everything you've got" Optimus screams to his troops. Sheanna begins to realize that at this point even she is not safe from the rampaging sand worm, while Havok realizes that his move to not get safe with the fliers may have been a bad one. Not that that stops Alex Summers from doing exactly what he said he would do in this battle. He uses his mutant powers to blast a massive hole in the center of Big Horn before Havok finds himself underneath the massive underbelly of his own teammate as well. The Maximals, led by Rhinox's "Chainguns of Doom" concentrate their super-advanced weaponry at the sandworm and actually manage to accomplish their goal. An undescribably intense smell of pungent cinammon fills the air as the insides of the massive sandworm spill on to the dunes. "Wow!! I can't believe they actually killed our sandworm" says Flamebird from high above the battle. "How does that make you feel Red Lantern"? Asks Jean Grey. "PISSED" Answers Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, as he and the rest of his flying teammates charge from the air against the energon-drained Maximals. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander's rage is peaked even further when he sees Rhinox turn his two Chainguns in the direction of Sheanna. Jeff Houslander spews red energy all over the Maximal Second in Command (Rhinox); while Phoenix engulfs Blackarachnia with her powers. Flamebird and Nightwing double team Optimas Primal by ripping The Maximal Leader's head clean off of his metal body. Only the Velociraptor named Dinobot remained. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander escorted the heartbroken Sheanna to safety, while Phoenix, Flamebird, and Nightwing finished off the last remaining Transfoamer.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
The Transfoamers are Optimus Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Depth Charge, Scuba, Big Horn, Big Convoy, and Blackarachnia.
Red Lantern Jeff Houslander knows he has very little time to spare when he begins to talking to his teammates out on the deep desert sands. "Listen up, I was just talking to my son in the locker room, he has always been big in to this "Dune" Crap. And if our sandworm is about to do what he claims it is going to do, than we better take to the air, and get the hell out of here". "I have always been near the mighty Shai Halud, and I have nothing to fear" exclaims Sheanna indignantly. "I tend to agree with you, but I am under strict orders to stay put and use my powers on what is certain to be an onslaught of metal bound creatures from The Transfoamers. I realize that this team is under new management, but I dare not question the orders given from the front office of The Horsemen of Apokolips. I may be new here but our team's tactics our legendary". Says Joseph. "Suit yourself Joe, but I am out of here and I tend to think that anybody that isn't with me is going to regret it" Jeff says in retort. Phoenix begins to take off, when Flamebird and Nightwing both offer a hand to the non-flying members of the squad. Havok says indignantly: "I am so sick of you fliers always acting like you are top-dog just because you can get away from a situation like a couple of sissies!! I am here to fight and that's exactly what I am going to do. I don't need your help". "And that is your choice mutant". Flamebird says as her, Nightwing, Phoenix, and Jeff Houslander take flight high above the Battlefield. Sheanna begins to say a prayer to Shai Halud: The Lord of the Desert, when two seperate rumbles approach the center of the battlefield. Wormsign appears to her North and heading that direction, when further North the entire Beast Wars Crew, led by Optimas Primal is heading South; fully prepared to do battle with The Horsemen; and creating an even larger tremor in the ground than the subtle wormsign. The Maximals stand firm as the dunes begin to quake and then begin to charge the hole as the massive Sandworm #14 exits straight up out of the sand. Optimus Primal orders The Maximals to scatter, but some are quicker and better in the desert setting than others. Nightscream, Savage, Depth Charge, and Scuba all die in the initial open-mouthed flop of the massive Arrakis-born Beast. As most of The Maximals regroup behind their leader Optimus Primal; Airazor, The female Peregrine Falcon and Silverbolt, the grey wolf golden eagle both instinctively transform and take to the air. Their actions were meant simply to evade the oncoming sandworm and were taken off guard when they are both blinded and pushed back by the power and heat of Phoenix. By the time they begin to gain their composure Flamebird and Nightwing have shot through their sparks like little flesh bullets. "Well that's just Prime" Optimus Primal says with a disgruntled hint of sarcasm. "it appears that the air isn't any safer than the sands". Sheanna stands firm on the ground as the mighty worm passes her by. Optimus Primal is confused by this, but decides that it is towards this human woman that he and his confused band of Beast Warriors should target their attack. But before they can they find themselves moving in the opposite direction all together. Joseph, the clone of Magneto has taken control of the entire bunched up Transfoamers squadron and is bringing them in close to himself. Joseph doesn't quite have the control over his powers that the original Magneto has, but his abilities are significant. He knows that if he can bring all of these massive robots in close to him that he can crush them in to one giant ball of scrap metal. He begins by pushing Tigatron and Cheetor together when the magnetic vibrations of his powers summon the great Shai Halud like no Fremen-devised thumper could ever dream of doing. The massive sandworm pops back out of the sand as The Horsemen front office had planned but this time Joseph has The Maximals nice and bunched up. Joseph dies along with his enemies but his actions kill Cheetor, Rattrap, Tigatron, and Big Convoy. Thus making his FFL Debut quite a success. Optimus Primal and the rest of The Maximals break free of the magnetic hold and begin to open fire on Sandworm #14. "Focus on the center of the worm with everything you've got" Optimus screams to his troops. Sheanna begins to realize that at this point even she is not safe from the rampaging sand worm, while Havok realizes that his move to not get safe with the fliers may have been a bad one. Not that that stops Alex Summers from doing exactly what he said he would do in this battle. He uses his mutant powers to blast a massive hole in the center of Big Horn before Havok finds himself underneath the massive underbelly of his own teammate as well. The Maximals, led by Rhinox's "Chainguns of Doom" concentrate their super-advanced weaponry at the sandworm and actually manage to accomplish their goal. An undescribably intense smell of pungent cinammon fills the air as the insides of the massive sandworm spill on to the dunes. "Wow!! I can't believe they actually killed our sandworm" says Flamebird from high above the battle. "How does that make you feel Red Lantern"? Asks Jean Grey. "PISSED" Answers Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, as he and the rest of his flying teammates charge from the air against the energon-drained Maximals. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander's rage is peaked even further when he sees Rhinox turn his two Chainguns in the direction of Sheanna. Jeff Houslander spews red energy all over the Maximal Second in Command (Rhinox); while Phoenix engulfs Blackarachnia with her powers. Flamebird and Nightwing double team Optimas Primal by ripping The Maximal Leader's head clean off of his metal body. Only the Velociraptor named Dinobot remained. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander escorted the heartbroken Sheanna to safety, while Phoenix, Flamebird, and Nightwing finished off the last remaining Transfoamer.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Season 5, Week 3. TEAM vs Xaviers Annihilation Squad.
TEAM is:
Justice League Alpha Starman, Kefka, Bomber Man, Wile E. Coyote, The Roadrunner, John Wayne, Sith Lord #7: Darth Cocky, Davtokk, Valkyrie #7, Zangler (Immell #13) w/Proton Pack, Junkeon #25, Junkeon #26, Hamblor, God of Hamburgers, Hamblor’s dog, Melkor, Duke Nukem, CS Goomba #1, CS Goomba #2, CS Goomba #3,CS Goomba #4, CS Goomba #5, CS Goomba #6
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is:
Mumm-Ra, Paul Atreides, Sandman (marvel), Imhotep, Scorpion King, Rick O'Connell w/ blue lightsaber, Evie O'Connell w/crossbow, Golden Age Blue Beetle, Atreides soldier #20, Apollo (Authority), Dave Thomas in Hovercraft, Wendy Thomas in ornithopter, Ewok#50
The sands gently swirl and shift, the sun beats down relentlessly upon TEAM as they prepare for the fight.
Davtokk: “Good lord it’s...”
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: rolls his eyes: “Not you... anyway, I was saying it....”
Hamblor: “Oh Ok.”
Davtokk: “Can i PLEASE finish my sentence here?! … THANK YOU... Anyway i was Saying.. and do not interrupt me that it’s hot out here... ”
Duke Nukem: They’re not sticking to my legs because I’ve got, Balls of Steel....
The Entire rest of the TEAM roster in unison except for Hamblors dog who just whimpers: “Uggggh...”
Melkor: “Can we get on with this!? I am literally roasting in this armor, there is no shade out here and I’m wearing all black with black metal plates. it’s like I’m walking around wearing a crock pot over here... Is the bird back with our scouting report yet?!”
Zangler: “I see him over there! look at the dust cloud! Man he is booking!”
Wile E Coyote: *holds up a sign that says “I really don’t think that’s him...”
But nobody sees the sign because the dust cloud over takes the TEAM position quickly.
The sand storm rages, dropping them into inky blackness...
Melkor: “aahhh... darkness... god that’s so much bett...
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: “That’s IT! Wait till I can see again Hamblor... just wait! Everyone stay here until this passes.”
The sand storm rages on as TEAM hunkers down to wait till it passes.
Meanwhile Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is planning their attack... sort of.
Blue Beetle: Dude, Guys, I am so pumped about this... we’ve got this on lockdown. I mean look who’s here! We got Lowell up in the hizzouse!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Dude... you’re confused.... this isn’t who you are thinking it is... but yeah I’m pumped too. I’m so thirsty, you gotta have some wine on you right Jack? Does Giamatti have it all or what? Where is he anyway?”
Sandman: “You idiots are infuriating, I know this multiverse thing is complicated but I have never heard of Lowell, and I most certainly was not friends with a “Giamatti” whatever that creature may be.”
Blue Beetle: “Oh come on! Wings?! Anybody?! Nobody here knows wings?!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Hey guys... GUYS! Sandstorm!”
Sandman: “Can we all just focus!? Sand is not a problem here, trust me.”
Atreides Soldier #20: No... dudes... SANDSTORM! WOOOOOH!
The Annihilation crew hears the tunes pumping from the ornithopter and Hovercraft combo that was jamming by them at an incredible rate of speed.
Blue Beetle: “Alright! It’s the Thomases!”
The Fast Food Duo coordinate their run on the sandstorm in the distance.
Dave: “Wendy I’m coming up on this thing quick.. it’s almost like it’s coming right at me!”
Wendy: “Dad No that’s not the sandstorm that’s the...”
*Thump!*
Dave: “Holy crap! what was that?”
Wendy: “I’m pretty sure that was their scouting party... looked like a road runner... he’s roadkill now. Lets circle back and tell the crew that we’re clear to move.”
The Squad is given the word to launch their attack.
The battle is over swiftly, and the sheer combined power of the forces does not make for much of a stalemate.
The combined sand manipulation of Imhotep and The Sandman cover TEAM in a wall of crushing sand. Hamblor’s dog (a St. Bernard well suited to rescue duty) pulls John Wayne, Hamblor himself, and Starman out of the flood of sand that suddenly came crashing in on the team. the Junkeon's are crushed under the weight of the sand.
Duke Nukem managed to somehow use his boot to kick his way out of the sand pile and Melkor forced his way to the surface using sheer might.
John Wayne finds himself squaring off with a similarly rakish figure in Rick O’Connel. Unfortunatley for John, while they were staring eachother trying to decide who was more rugged Evie put a crossbow bolt through his neck just seconds before John collapsed from stomach cancer.
Starman and Duke get the jump on Evie and Rick and kill them both quickly. Hamblor swats Wendy Thomas out of the sky burying the smoking wreckage in the sand and his trusty companion treats Dave’s hovercraft like a rubber chew toy, putting an end to the Carl’s Jr. Vs Wendy’s debate that no one was having.
Duke: “Ahahaha that old fruit ate it big time and Wendy! maaaan, talk about getting sand in your va...”
But before he could finish another horrible joke the intensity of the battlefield kicked into high gear. Another cloud of sand generated by Sandman and Imhotep engulfs the remaining TEAM members.
Apollo, Fueled by the harsh and unrelenting sun decides to end this.
Apollo: “He Duke.. lets see if you can call someone else a fruit when i’ve got your “Balls of steel” jammed into your windpipe.
And with that, Apollo channels the solar energy into the dust cloud. burning it away and killing all of the TEAM members remaining except for Kefka.
Kefka transforms into a giant powerful being slaughtering many of the Squad’s number, Mumm-Ra, Golden Age Beetle, Ewok #50 falls after a valliant struggle against the god like psychopath.
Sandman is turned to glass by the magical force unleashed by Kefka’s Ultima attack. Imhotep also is caught in the crossfire and destroyed. Atreides Soldier #20 simply disintegrates.
Apollo: “Enough. I really do not have time for this...”
Apollo grabs the giant Keg of A1 Sauce from the neck of Hamblor’s now deceased dog and launches it at Kefka.
A sticky mess, Kefka laughs thinking it a joke, but he doesn’t realize Apollo is flying very closely behind the keg and slams fist first into his grinning face, flying out of the back of his head killing him instantly.
Justice League Alpha Starman, Kefka, Bomber Man, Wile E. Coyote, The Roadrunner, John Wayne, Sith Lord #7: Darth Cocky, Davtokk, Valkyrie #7, Zangler (Immell #13) w/Proton Pack, Junkeon #25, Junkeon #26, Hamblor, God of Hamburgers, Hamblor’s dog, Melkor, Duke Nukem, CS Goomba #1, CS Goomba #2, CS Goomba #3,CS Goomba #4, CS Goomba #5, CS Goomba #6
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is:
Mumm-Ra, Paul Atreides, Sandman (marvel), Imhotep, Scorpion King, Rick O'Connell w/ blue lightsaber, Evie O'Connell w/crossbow, Golden Age Blue Beetle, Atreides soldier #20, Apollo (Authority), Dave Thomas in Hovercraft, Wendy Thomas in ornithopter, Ewok#50
The sands gently swirl and shift, the sun beats down relentlessly upon TEAM as they prepare for the fight.
Davtokk: “Good lord it’s...”
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: rolls his eyes: “Not you... anyway, I was saying it....”
Hamblor: “Oh Ok.”
Davtokk: “Can i PLEASE finish my sentence here?! … THANK YOU... Anyway i was Saying.. and do not interrupt me that it’s hot out here... ”
Duke Nukem: They’re not sticking to my legs because I’ve got, Balls of Steel....
The Entire rest of the TEAM roster in unison except for Hamblors dog who just whimpers: “Uggggh...”
Melkor: “Can we get on with this!? I am literally roasting in this armor, there is no shade out here and I’m wearing all black with black metal plates. it’s like I’m walking around wearing a crock pot over here... Is the bird back with our scouting report yet?!”
Zangler: “I see him over there! look at the dust cloud! Man he is booking!”
Wile E Coyote: *holds up a sign that says “I really don’t think that’s him...”
But nobody sees the sign because the dust cloud over takes the TEAM position quickly.
The sand storm rages, dropping them into inky blackness...
Melkor: “aahhh... darkness... god that’s so much bett...
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: “That’s IT! Wait till I can see again Hamblor... just wait! Everyone stay here until this passes.”
The sand storm rages on as TEAM hunkers down to wait till it passes.
Meanwhile Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is planning their attack... sort of.
Blue Beetle: Dude, Guys, I am so pumped about this... we’ve got this on lockdown. I mean look who’s here! We got Lowell up in the hizzouse!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Dude... you’re confused.... this isn’t who you are thinking it is... but yeah I’m pumped too. I’m so thirsty, you gotta have some wine on you right Jack? Does Giamatti have it all or what? Where is he anyway?”
Sandman: “You idiots are infuriating, I know this multiverse thing is complicated but I have never heard of Lowell, and I most certainly was not friends with a “Giamatti” whatever that creature may be.”
Blue Beetle: “Oh come on! Wings?! Anybody?! Nobody here knows wings?!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Hey guys... GUYS! Sandstorm!”
Sandman: “Can we all just focus!? Sand is not a problem here, trust me.”
Atreides Soldier #20: No... dudes... SANDSTORM! WOOOOOH!
The Annihilation crew hears the tunes pumping from the ornithopter and Hovercraft combo that was jamming by them at an incredible rate of speed.
Blue Beetle: “Alright! It’s the Thomases!”
The Fast Food Duo coordinate their run on the sandstorm in the distance.
Dave: “Wendy I’m coming up on this thing quick.. it’s almost like it’s coming right at me!”
Wendy: “Dad No that’s not the sandstorm that’s the...”
*Thump!*
Dave: “Holy crap! what was that?”
Wendy: “I’m pretty sure that was their scouting party... looked like a road runner... he’s roadkill now. Lets circle back and tell the crew that we’re clear to move.”
The Squad is given the word to launch their attack.
The battle is over swiftly, and the sheer combined power of the forces does not make for much of a stalemate.
The combined sand manipulation of Imhotep and The Sandman cover TEAM in a wall of crushing sand. Hamblor’s dog (a St. Bernard well suited to rescue duty) pulls John Wayne, Hamblor himself, and Starman out of the flood of sand that suddenly came crashing in on the team. the Junkeon's are crushed under the weight of the sand.
Duke Nukem managed to somehow use his boot to kick his way out of the sand pile and Melkor forced his way to the surface using sheer might.
John Wayne finds himself squaring off with a similarly rakish figure in Rick O’Connel. Unfortunatley for John, while they were staring eachother trying to decide who was more rugged Evie put a crossbow bolt through his neck just seconds before John collapsed from stomach cancer.
Starman and Duke get the jump on Evie and Rick and kill them both quickly. Hamblor swats Wendy Thomas out of the sky burying the smoking wreckage in the sand and his trusty companion treats Dave’s hovercraft like a rubber chew toy, putting an end to the Carl’s Jr. Vs Wendy’s debate that no one was having.
Duke: “Ahahaha that old fruit ate it big time and Wendy! maaaan, talk about getting sand in your va...”
But before he could finish another horrible joke the intensity of the battlefield kicked into high gear. Another cloud of sand generated by Sandman and Imhotep engulfs the remaining TEAM members.
Apollo, Fueled by the harsh and unrelenting sun decides to end this.
Apollo: “He Duke.. lets see if you can call someone else a fruit when i’ve got your “Balls of steel” jammed into your windpipe.
And with that, Apollo channels the solar energy into the dust cloud. burning it away and killing all of the TEAM members remaining except for Kefka.
Kefka transforms into a giant powerful being slaughtering many of the Squad’s number, Mumm-Ra, Golden Age Beetle, Ewok #50 falls after a valliant struggle against the god like psychopath.
Sandman is turned to glass by the magical force unleashed by Kefka’s Ultima attack. Imhotep also is caught in the crossfire and destroyed. Atreides Soldier #20 simply disintegrates.
Apollo: “Enough. I really do not have time for this...”
Apollo grabs the giant Keg of A1 Sauce from the neck of Hamblor’s now deceased dog and launches it at Kefka.
A sticky mess, Kefka laughs thinking it a joke, but he doesn’t realize Apollo is flying very closely behind the keg and slams fist first into his grinning face, flying out of the back of his head killing him instantly.
Season 5, Week 3: Tijuana Taco Benders vs. Logical Genocide
“I never put any form of meat in my mouth!”
-Darth Vegetariano
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 3 Match located in Desert. They are as follows:
Logical Genocide: Sandworms #11 and #12, Zombie General Zod, Az-Rel, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov), Neo-Cymek #18 (Ed), Stryfe, Golden Army Soldiers #42 and #43.
Tijuana Taco Benders: Sand, Sandworms #9 and #13, Lavos, Sith Lord #18: Darth Barren, Sith Lord #19: Darth Vegetariano, Lady Deadpool, Cyber Force: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact and Buzz Lightyear and Woody.
Let the battle begin. . .
The monstrosities known as the Sandworms, specifically Sandworms #11 and 12 from Logical Genocide and #9 and 13 from the Benders immediately attack one another. Suffice it to say, the pieces of worms littering the sand are more than what one would see after the rains of Naboo. In the end, all Sandworms are decimated, leaving the remainder of the battle free from these Dune behemoths.
Sand uses his ability to control silica particles to create a disturbance around the combatants. Unfortunately for the Benders, a majority of LG’s team is impervious to the storm. Sand is quickly dispelled with by Stryfe.
Darth Barren ignites his lightsaber as he faces both Az-Rel and Zombie General Zod. Zombie General Zod flies toward Barren, who ducks out of the way and uses his lightsaber to slash Zod’s left arm off. Since Zod is a zombie, no pain ensues as he simply shrugs off this bodily loss.
Zod: I’m a righty anyway.
Zod flies at Barren again, enough to distract the Sith Lord. As Barren is focused on Zod, Az-Rel uses his heat vision to engulf Barren in flames. Zod uses his super speed to race around the Force wielder, barraging him with a battery of punches. Barren falls to his knees. Az-Rel then uses all of his strength to punch a hole through Barren’s chest. Az-Rel pulls out Barren’s heart. The Sith Lord falls to the sands below.
Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman (hereinafter “BL2B”) stands with Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov) since they are kindred-in-spirit. They watch as Golden Army Soldiers #42 and 43 battle the entire Cyberforce. Cyblade throws her blades of energy at Golden Army Soldier (hereinafter “GAS”) #42, who simply shrugs off the blows. Ballistic uses her marksmanship skills to fire
at the center of GAS #43’s head with her weapons. She, like Cyblade, is unsuccessful in her attempts to defeat the GAS force. GAS #42 and 43 slowly approach the two while they withstand the storms of weaponry unleashed upon them. GAS #42 grabs Cyblade and GAS #43 reaches Ballistic; the Cyberforce members boldly face their fates before the statuary.
The GAS duo approaches the remaining Cyberforce members. As they are about to decimate the Bender teammates, Stryker notices Woody being held by Buzz Lightyear. The two Toy Story mates are above BL2B and Sue Yerazzov. The two are pointing to the crown on Sue’s head.
Stryker sends Velocity to take the crown. Before Velocity can reach the two, Neo-Cymek-Ed reaches out and manages to catch Velocity’s leg. The force of Velocity running met by the strength of Ed causes Velocity to lose her left leg. The blood spouts from her groin.
BL2B: Damn!!! It isn’t even her time of the month yet and she’s bleeding like a stuck
pig!
Neo-Cymek-Ed grabs Velocity by the head and crushes her skull. Meanwhile, BL2B notices the toys above Yerazzov and himself.
BL2B: You aren’t worth anything to me if you aren’t mint in a carded box!!!
BL2B destroys the duo.
In response to seeing their teammates being decimated, Heatwave uses the full solar power of the desert to create an extreme plasma burst, which she sends at Yerazzov. Yerazzov is struck and both she and her crown (which has been controlling the GAS duo) are melted into a burst of flames. Since the crown is destroyed, so are the GAS. GAS #42 and GAS #43 are done.
Ed the Neo-Cymek battles the remaining Cyberforce members. Although the Neo-Cymek is eventually destroyed, he takes Stryker, Heatwave and Impact with him.
Darth Vegetariano battles Stryfe; the force wielder against the superhuman telekinetic. Stryfe’s armor manages to deflect most of the blows that Darth Vegetariano deals. Lady Deadpool and Lavos come to assist their Sith teammate. Stryfe manages to kill Lady Deadpool, but succumbs to the lethal combination of Lavos and Vegetariano. Lavos is pounced upon by Zod and Az-Rel. Lavos is eventually killed, as is Ripclaw, by the Kryptonian duo.
Darth Vegetariano is battered and on his knees. The Dark Side flows through the Sith Lord, allowing him to attempt and stand up. Zod and Az-Rel remedy this situation and push him back down. BL2B stands before the kneeling DV. Vegetariano looks up at BL2B. BL2B moves like he is unzipping his fly.
BL2B: I know you don’t like meat, but you haven’t tried Kosher. . .
BL2B laughs maniacally and then shrugs as he notices that he has no zipper on his costume. He approaches the downtrodden Vegetariano. He kneels next to the Sith and slips his face close to Vegetariano’s mug. He whispers to him.
BL2B (using his ring’s essence to enter into Vegetariano’s rectum): This is what some on the wrestling team call the “shocker.” I call it the “Radish Rip.”
DV screams as he is entered.
BL2B: And this is what some call the “Fister.” I call it the “Banana Blowback.”
DV screams even louder.
BL2B: I wish my friend didn’t have to go out of town; he’d love to have seen this. . . and
now for the “Endive Explosion.”
DV is ripped apart from the inside out. DV’s body parts litter the sands.
-Darth Vegetariano
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 3 Match located in Desert. They are as follows:
Logical Genocide: Sandworms #11 and #12, Zombie General Zod, Az-Rel, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov), Neo-Cymek #18 (Ed), Stryfe, Golden Army Soldiers #42 and #43.
Tijuana Taco Benders: Sand, Sandworms #9 and #13, Lavos, Sith Lord #18: Darth Barren, Sith Lord #19: Darth Vegetariano, Lady Deadpool, Cyber Force: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact and Buzz Lightyear and Woody.
Let the battle begin. . .
The monstrosities known as the Sandworms, specifically Sandworms #11 and 12 from Logical Genocide and #9 and 13 from the Benders immediately attack one another. Suffice it to say, the pieces of worms littering the sand are more than what one would see after the rains of Naboo. In the end, all Sandworms are decimated, leaving the remainder of the battle free from these Dune behemoths.
Sand uses his ability to control silica particles to create a disturbance around the combatants. Unfortunately for the Benders, a majority of LG’s team is impervious to the storm. Sand is quickly dispelled with by Stryfe.
Darth Barren ignites his lightsaber as he faces both Az-Rel and Zombie General Zod. Zombie General Zod flies toward Barren, who ducks out of the way and uses his lightsaber to slash Zod’s left arm off. Since Zod is a zombie, no pain ensues as he simply shrugs off this bodily loss.
Zod: I’m a righty anyway.
Zod flies at Barren again, enough to distract the Sith Lord. As Barren is focused on Zod, Az-Rel uses his heat vision to engulf Barren in flames. Zod uses his super speed to race around the Force wielder, barraging him with a battery of punches. Barren falls to his knees. Az-Rel then uses all of his strength to punch a hole through Barren’s chest. Az-Rel pulls out Barren’s heart. The Sith Lord falls to the sands below.
Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman (hereinafter “BL2B”) stands with Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov) since they are kindred-in-spirit. They watch as Golden Army Soldiers #42 and 43 battle the entire Cyberforce. Cyblade throws her blades of energy at Golden Army Soldier (hereinafter “GAS”) #42, who simply shrugs off the blows. Ballistic uses her marksmanship skills to fire
at the center of GAS #43’s head with her weapons. She, like Cyblade, is unsuccessful in her attempts to defeat the GAS force. GAS #42 and 43 slowly approach the two while they withstand the storms of weaponry unleashed upon them. GAS #42 grabs Cyblade and GAS #43 reaches Ballistic; the Cyberforce members boldly face their fates before the statuary.
The GAS duo approaches the remaining Cyberforce members. As they are about to decimate the Bender teammates, Stryker notices Woody being held by Buzz Lightyear. The two Toy Story mates are above BL2B and Sue Yerazzov. The two are pointing to the crown on Sue’s head.
Stryker sends Velocity to take the crown. Before Velocity can reach the two, Neo-Cymek-Ed reaches out and manages to catch Velocity’s leg. The force of Velocity running met by the strength of Ed causes Velocity to lose her left leg. The blood spouts from her groin.
BL2B: Damn!!! It isn’t even her time of the month yet and she’s bleeding like a stuck
pig!
Neo-Cymek-Ed grabs Velocity by the head and crushes her skull. Meanwhile, BL2B notices the toys above Yerazzov and himself.
BL2B: You aren’t worth anything to me if you aren’t mint in a carded box!!!
BL2B destroys the duo.
In response to seeing their teammates being decimated, Heatwave uses the full solar power of the desert to create an extreme plasma burst, which she sends at Yerazzov. Yerazzov is struck and both she and her crown (which has been controlling the GAS duo) are melted into a burst of flames. Since the crown is destroyed, so are the GAS. GAS #42 and GAS #43 are done.
Ed the Neo-Cymek battles the remaining Cyberforce members. Although the Neo-Cymek is eventually destroyed, he takes Stryker, Heatwave and Impact with him.
Darth Vegetariano battles Stryfe; the force wielder against the superhuman telekinetic. Stryfe’s armor manages to deflect most of the blows that Darth Vegetariano deals. Lady Deadpool and Lavos come to assist their Sith teammate. Stryfe manages to kill Lady Deadpool, but succumbs to the lethal combination of Lavos and Vegetariano. Lavos is pounced upon by Zod and Az-Rel. Lavos is eventually killed, as is Ripclaw, by the Kryptonian duo.
Darth Vegetariano is battered and on his knees. The Dark Side flows through the Sith Lord, allowing him to attempt and stand up. Zod and Az-Rel remedy this situation and push him back down. BL2B stands before the kneeling DV. Vegetariano looks up at BL2B. BL2B moves like he is unzipping his fly.
BL2B: I know you don’t like meat, but you haven’t tried Kosher. . .
BL2B laughs maniacally and then shrugs as he notices that he has no zipper on his costume. He approaches the downtrodden Vegetariano. He kneels next to the Sith and slips his face close to Vegetariano’s mug. He whispers to him.
BL2B (using his ring’s essence to enter into Vegetariano’s rectum): This is what some on the wrestling team call the “shocker.” I call it the “Radish Rip.”
DV screams as he is entered.
BL2B: And this is what some call the “Fister.” I call it the “Banana Blowback.”
DV screams even louder.
BL2B: I wish my friend didn’t have to go out of town; he’d love to have seen this. . . and
now for the “Endive Explosion.”
DV is ripped apart from the inside out. DV’s body parts litter the sands.
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches Vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches are: Gladiator Voltron (#1-5), Soranik Natu, Chaos King, Zombie Abomination, Pre-suit Darth Vader, Matt Oblak (Mandalorian Armor, Green and Blue Lightsabers), Dr. Teresa Oblak (Blue and Green Lightsabers)
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are: Fremen #1, Anti-Monitor, The Serpent
The Worthy: Skadi: Herald of the Serpent (Merged w/ Shao Khan via hammer)
Nul: Breaker of Worlds (Merged w/ Beast Wars Megatron via hammer)
Angir: Breaker of Souls (Merged w/ Beast Man via hammer)
Greithoth: Breaker of Wills (Merged w/Marv via hammer)
Both teams are dropped about a mile apart. Fremen#1 disappears once he steps foot on the sand. The Voltrons take to the sky to scout for enemies. Soranik Natu incases herself and pre suit Vader in a force field . They two take to the sky’s to scout. Chaos king seems to disappear into a different realm. That may be cheating but I don’t make the rules, that’s just what I saw. Zombie Abomination must have no recollection of his previous life cause he’s just sitting on the ground using his own pee to make sand castles.
Gladiator Voltron # 4 detects life forms just Below him.
Voltron#:4 Guys I just spotted a barrel of fish. I can‘t resist, should only be about 5 min ill catch up with you.
Gladiator Voltron#1: Rodger, Rodger.
Gladiator Voltron#:4 Fly’s down and lands right on top of his target. His suit still shows signs of life, worried his suit has malfunctioning he runs some diagnostic tests. That’s when Dr. Teresa Oblak and her Husband Matthew Oblak Bust from the sand and slash the Robot, zord, or whatever you call it to pieces. The carnage doesn’t stop there, The Oblaks storm the zords control room and massacre all the surviving operators
They embrace each other and Teresa says “ we make the best team”. Matt frowns and say’s I know and that’s why this is so hard. Before Teresa has a chance to respond, Matt presses his light saber against her liver and turns its on.
Teresa: Bbabaaaby WWHHWHY.
Matt Oblak: You know I love you, but I am 0-2. I just can’t lose this week, Trust me, it will all be worth it when I bring home the trophy, I’ll even let you touch it, LOVE YOU! STABE STABE STABE
Zombie Abomination gets a whiff of the fresh blood and race’s towards it at supper human speeds Just as it looks like he s going to get a two for one deal, Matt Oblak spin’s in just enough time to use his light sabers to scissor the top of Zombie Abomination’s head killing him instantly.
Gladiator Voltron#1 has spotted The Serpent and his worthy. He calls for his comrades to report to his location, but only 2 arrive.
Gladiator Voltron:1: What the hell happened to the others?
Gladiator Voltron:3: Well 5 just disappeared, and 4 got hacked to pieces.
Gladiator Voltron:1: Forget that right now we need to think about surviving, well bury them later. Right now we need to take these a**holes out. I am pretty sure we can still form Voltron with just the three of us.
MEANWHIALE………
Fear-Itself is at the base of a sand dune discussing tactics….When all of a sudden then they hear a loud noise and are crushed by the dune. It doesn’t take long for the Asgardians to bash their way out of the sand.Standing there is A giant six armed robot. Voltron gives them the bring it signal with all six hands. Big mistake. As the “worthy” gets a hold of them and smash the remaining Gladiator Voltrons to bit’s. Seeing his oportunity the Chaos king makes this move barreling towards The Serpent and his worthy. Before he get close enough for the Asgardians to notice him, Anti-Matter snatches him out of thin air. The Chaos kings is desperately trying to escape.
Anti-Matter : MMMMMHHHHH I‘ve never had Entity before.
Anti- Matter quickly sucks all of the energy out of the Chaos king
Anti-Matter: BEEELLLLLCCCCHHHHH!
Soranik Natu: Matt we need to find vader if we are going to have any chance at surviving.
Matt Oblak: Don’t worry everything will be over soon.
As Soranik Natu turns Anti-Matter steps on her as is he were putting out a cigarette.
All members of the Kennelz gather round as Matt Oblak Kneels down, removes his armor, and the uses his light saber to commit seppuku. Fremen #1 aids him.
Fremen#1: It was a good death.
Just as the Backyardigans enter their Locker room they are immediately confronted by the charred mostly dismembered body of Pre-Suit Darth Vader. He was still hooked up to a car batter . It Appears to be a message from the Kennelz
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are: Fremen #1, Anti-Monitor, The Serpent
The Worthy: Skadi: Herald of the Serpent (Merged w/ Shao Khan via hammer)
Nul: Breaker of Worlds (Merged w/ Beast Wars Megatron via hammer)
Angir: Breaker of Souls (Merged w/ Beast Man via hammer)
Greithoth: Breaker of Wills (Merged w/Marv via hammer)
Both teams are dropped about a mile apart. Fremen#1 disappears once he steps foot on the sand. The Voltrons take to the sky to scout for enemies. Soranik Natu incases herself and pre suit Vader in a force field . They two take to the sky’s to scout. Chaos king seems to disappear into a different realm. That may be cheating but I don’t make the rules, that’s just what I saw. Zombie Abomination must have no recollection of his previous life cause he’s just sitting on the ground using his own pee to make sand castles.
Gladiator Voltron # 4 detects life forms just Below him.
Voltron#:4 Guys I just spotted a barrel of fish. I can‘t resist, should only be about 5 min ill catch up with you.
Gladiator Voltron#1: Rodger, Rodger.
Gladiator Voltron#:4 Fly’s down and lands right on top of his target. His suit still shows signs of life, worried his suit has malfunctioning he runs some diagnostic tests. That’s when Dr. Teresa Oblak and her Husband Matthew Oblak Bust from the sand and slash the Robot, zord, or whatever you call it to pieces. The carnage doesn’t stop there, The Oblaks storm the zords control room and massacre all the surviving operators
They embrace each other and Teresa says “ we make the best team”. Matt frowns and say’s I know and that’s why this is so hard. Before Teresa has a chance to respond, Matt presses his light saber against her liver and turns its on.
Teresa: Bbabaaaby WWHHWHY.
Matt Oblak: You know I love you, but I am 0-2. I just can’t lose this week, Trust me, it will all be worth it when I bring home the trophy, I’ll even let you touch it, LOVE YOU! STABE STABE STABE
Zombie Abomination gets a whiff of the fresh blood and race’s towards it at supper human speeds Just as it looks like he s going to get a two for one deal, Matt Oblak spin’s in just enough time to use his light sabers to scissor the top of Zombie Abomination’s head killing him instantly.
Gladiator Voltron#1 has spotted The Serpent and his worthy. He calls for his comrades to report to his location, but only 2 arrive.
Gladiator Voltron:1: What the hell happened to the others?
Gladiator Voltron:3: Well 5 just disappeared, and 4 got hacked to pieces.
Gladiator Voltron:1: Forget that right now we need to think about surviving, well bury them later. Right now we need to take these a**holes out. I am pretty sure we can still form Voltron with just the three of us.
MEANWHIALE………
Fear-Itself is at the base of a sand dune discussing tactics….When all of a sudden then they hear a loud noise and are crushed by the dune. It doesn’t take long for the Asgardians to bash their way out of the sand.Standing there is A giant six armed robot. Voltron gives them the bring it signal with all six hands. Big mistake. As the “worthy” gets a hold of them and smash the remaining Gladiator Voltrons to bit’s. Seeing his oportunity the Chaos king makes this move barreling towards The Serpent and his worthy. Before he get close enough for the Asgardians to notice him, Anti-Matter snatches him out of thin air. The Chaos kings is desperately trying to escape.
Anti-Matter : MMMMMHHHHH I‘ve never had Entity before.
Anti- Matter quickly sucks all of the energy out of the Chaos king
Anti-Matter: BEEELLLLLCCCCHHHHH!
Soranik Natu: Matt we need to find vader if we are going to have any chance at surviving.
Matt Oblak: Don’t worry everything will be over soon.
As Soranik Natu turns Anti-Matter steps on her as is he were putting out a cigarette.
All members of the Kennelz gather round as Matt Oblak Kneels down, removes his armor, and the uses his light saber to commit seppuku. Fremen #1 aids him.
Fremen#1: It was a good death.
Just as the Backyardigans enter their Locker room they are immediately confronted by the charred mostly dismembered body of Pre-Suit Darth Vader. He was still hooked up to a car batter . It Appears to be a message from the Kennelz
Season Five, Week Three: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is: The Phoenix Force, Stilgar, Bat-Mite, Durge, Azazel, Dr. Liet Kynes, Dr. Pardot Kynes, Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola, Fremen #52-56, and Doozer #8.
Miley and Barack’s Commandos are: Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime (Orion Pax), Katniss Everdeen w/Green Lantern ring, White Lantern Deadman, Star Sapphire Fatality, Surtur, Heimdall, and The Captain (Immell #5) w/Captain America's Shield.
The sun begins to set as Heimdall, ever patient, sets his gaze upon the sprawling horizon as the dry desert air whips across the arid land. Quietly he waits upon a rock formation for the oncoming battle to which he already knows the outcome of. Katniss Everdeen flies up to him, courtesy of the Green Lantern Ring that chose her after the passing of her teammate, Taa, in last season’s playoffs. She’s hoping to gains some insight about today’s match from him.
“Heimdall, the look on your face?” says Katniss to her Asgardian teammate. “I know this pain. Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?”
The vigilant protector of the Bifrost Bridge slowly turns his attention to the teenager and calmly speaks, “No one can change your life except for you. Don’t ever let anyone step all over you.”
Filled with emotion, the green aura surrounding Katniss glows brighter in the fading sun’s light. “Heimdall, just open your heart and your mind. Is it really fair to feel this way inside?”
“Young Katniss,” Heimdall bellows with his smooth baritone voice, “Some day, somebody’s going to make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry?”
Shocked by Heimdall’s bluntness and cold response, Katniss replies, “Don’t you know? Don’t you know things can change? Things will go our way if we just hold on for one more day. Can you hold on for one more day?”
Heimdall then drops to one knee and grunts in pain as he puts his hand to his head. “Unngggh. Katniss…. I feel strange.”
“I know that there is pain, Heimdall,” she replies. “But you hold on for one more day and break free the chains.”
“Hahahaha that was classic guys,” laughs Bat-Mite who appears out of thin air right behind Heimdall’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I was able to get you two to hold an entire conversation by using only lyrics from the phenomenal song “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. Seriously, I’m crying from laughing so hard.”
The Asgardian’s grip on his sword tightens as his eyes burn with rage from such an invasion of his mind. Heimdall whips around and tries to remove Bat-Mite’s annoyingly big head from his annoyingly tiny frame, but the Imp from the 5th Dimension disappears just a quickly as he arrived. However Heimdall’s thirst for battle is soon quenched as Azazel teleports in with Durge, Doozer #8, the Kynes trio, Stilgar and his team of Fremen. Katniss flies up into the air and creates a green energy bow along with a quiver full of arrows. She quickly fires off several arrows, but the Fremen easily evade them. The rest of the Commandos led by Earth 2 Superman and Optimus Prime, rush in to aid their outnumbered comrades. The now cold night sky is filled with sand and dust that is being violently kicked up by the ferocious battle. Star Sapphire Fatality flies in and overwhelms Durge with a massive blast of violet energy, leaving nothing behind but a charred helmet.
Several puffs of red and black brimstone smoke surround The Captain, as he finds himself quickly on defense from Azazel’s dual sabers attack. The demonic mutant swipes furiously at the genetically spliced clone of Capt. Steve Rogers and Steve Yzerman, but The Captain blocks every blow with Captain America’s shield, a weapon that was bequeathed to him last season when the First Avenger fell in battle. The Immell is no match for the nearly immortal demon, as Azazel tires of this contest, grabs a hold of Steve’s shield, teleports it away and then reappears, driving both sabers into his opponent’s chest. Azazel then teleports away in attempts to ambush Heimdall. However this attack does not go quite as easily. Heimdall is fully aware of this attempt and readies his sword. The moment Azazel reappears, the Asgardian swings his mighty sword and cleaves Azazel in two. The red and black brimstone whisks through the air as Heimdall finishes through with his swing. The two halves of the Evil Midgets member tumble across the desert floor as the Dune squad advances their attack on the Commandos’ Lantern trio.
Stilgar and the Fremen fluidly move through the desert, completely at home in this terrain as they continue to evade the ring wielders’ energy blasts. Dr. Liet Kynes, his Ghola and Dr. Pardot Kynes triple team White Lantern Deadman as Stilgar and his Fremen attack Katniss and Fatality. Fremen #54 is taken out by several well placed green energy arrows as Fremen #52 and #56 are downed by Fatality’s more straight forward violet energy blasts. Stilgar flanks to the left and quickly ascend up to the top of a jagged rock that is jutting out of the sand. He silently leaps off of it as Fremen #55 is fending off Fatality. Stilgar, draws his crysknife from its sheath and plunges it deep into the back of Fatality. They both fall to the ground as Stilgar stands up victorious over Fatality and sending her to the Graveyard. Her Star Sapphire ring removes itself from her fingers and flies back to the Commandos locker room, where it will find itself and new wielder. Katniss takes careful aim and fires a double arrow shot which manages to take out both remaining Fremen as White Lantern Deadman now finds himself on the business end of a four on one, as Stilgar joins his close friends, the Kynes. But there is increasing rumble that shakes the desert ground. Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola is then eradicated from a power blast as Optimus Prime rolls in, transforms and lands with a purposeful thud, driving a plume of sand into the air in all directions. And crushing Doozer #8 in the process, a happy accident for the Commandos co-captain in this endeavor. Bat-Mite reappears again to lend a hand as the Dune trio now find themselves out gunned. Bat-Mite fires a magical bolt at Optimus, but it’s blocked by Heimdall’s sword. Heimdall then uses his sword to unleash the blue flame from countless cosmic suns. Unprepared for such a retaliation, bat-mite is caught by surprise and is destroyed by it.
There is a rush of air that whips over the desert as Earth Two Superman swoops in and takes out the father-son duo of Dr. Pardot Kynes and Dr. Liet Kynes. Stilgar now valiantly stands alone as he sees his chances of survival dwindle to the point of nothingness as the thousand foot tall behemoth, Surtur finally arrives. Defiantly until the end, Stilgar lunges towards Katniss, but is blocked by White Lantern Deadman. Katniss then fires green energy arrow after green energy arrow in Stilgar until he finally falls to the desert ground.
The members of the Commandos look to congratulate each other on a well fought, yet dominating performance, but Kal-L sees a look of despair in the eyes of Heimdall.
“This is far from over,” Heimdall boldly says to the rest of the team. The night sky then begins to brighten. “It is coming. And it’s coming to end us all.”
“What’s coming?” asks Katniss.
Heimdall looks up to the sky and says, “The Phoenix Force.”
And just as the Asgardian speaks those words, the cosmic entity makes its presence known and certainly felt. The Phoenix Force screeches through the sky and without even slowing down, completely and utterly annihilates Surtur. Optimus Prime looks at Earth Two Superman as they both know what must be done. Prime opens his chest up and pulls the Autobot Matrix of Leadership out. Earth Two Superman then uses is incredible strength to perform the world’s most unbelievable “Fastball Special.” Optimus soars through the air on a direct collision course with the Phoenix. He pulls the Matrix open and unleashes its full power. Heimdall takes aim with his sword and fires a joining shot as Katniss and White Lantern Deadman fly in to flank Optimus. Earth Two Superman leaps into the air and flies in as well to aid against this insurmountable attack. The Phoenix Force shrieks as the five different energy sources slam into it. But the cosmic entity continues to scorch the night sky and everything in its path. There is then a massive explosion that is so hot the desert sand is literally melted into sheet of glass. Earth Two Superman’s unconscious body falls from the heavens and impacts the ground with such force, the glass shatters through out the battlefield. Though unconscious, Kal-L miraculously manages to survive the near extinction of his team in what was once appeared to be an easy victory for the Commandos.
Miley and Barack’s Commandos are: Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime (Orion Pax), Katniss Everdeen w/Green Lantern ring, White Lantern Deadman, Star Sapphire Fatality, Surtur, Heimdall, and The Captain (Immell #5) w/Captain America's Shield.
The sun begins to set as Heimdall, ever patient, sets his gaze upon the sprawling horizon as the dry desert air whips across the arid land. Quietly he waits upon a rock formation for the oncoming battle to which he already knows the outcome of. Katniss Everdeen flies up to him, courtesy of the Green Lantern Ring that chose her after the passing of her teammate, Taa, in last season’s playoffs. She’s hoping to gains some insight about today’s match from him.
“Heimdall, the look on your face?” says Katniss to her Asgardian teammate. “I know this pain. Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?”
The vigilant protector of the Bifrost Bridge slowly turns his attention to the teenager and calmly speaks, “No one can change your life except for you. Don’t ever let anyone step all over you.”
Filled with emotion, the green aura surrounding Katniss glows brighter in the fading sun’s light. “Heimdall, just open your heart and your mind. Is it really fair to feel this way inside?”
“Young Katniss,” Heimdall bellows with his smooth baritone voice, “Some day, somebody’s going to make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry?”
Shocked by Heimdall’s bluntness and cold response, Katniss replies, “Don’t you know? Don’t you know things can change? Things will go our way if we just hold on for one more day. Can you hold on for one more day?”
Heimdall then drops to one knee and grunts in pain as he puts his hand to his head. “Unngggh. Katniss…. I feel strange.”
“I know that there is pain, Heimdall,” she replies. “But you hold on for one more day and break free the chains.”
“Hahahaha that was classic guys,” laughs Bat-Mite who appears out of thin air right behind Heimdall’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I was able to get you two to hold an entire conversation by using only lyrics from the phenomenal song “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. Seriously, I’m crying from laughing so hard.”
The Asgardian’s grip on his sword tightens as his eyes burn with rage from such an invasion of his mind. Heimdall whips around and tries to remove Bat-Mite’s annoyingly big head from his annoyingly tiny frame, but the Imp from the 5th Dimension disappears just a quickly as he arrived. However Heimdall’s thirst for battle is soon quenched as Azazel teleports in with Durge, Doozer #8, the Kynes trio, Stilgar and his team of Fremen. Katniss flies up into the air and creates a green energy bow along with a quiver full of arrows. She quickly fires off several arrows, but the Fremen easily evade them. The rest of the Commandos led by Earth 2 Superman and Optimus Prime, rush in to aid their outnumbered comrades. The now cold night sky is filled with sand and dust that is being violently kicked up by the ferocious battle. Star Sapphire Fatality flies in and overwhelms Durge with a massive blast of violet energy, leaving nothing behind but a charred helmet.
Several puffs of red and black brimstone smoke surround The Captain, as he finds himself quickly on defense from Azazel’s dual sabers attack. The demonic mutant swipes furiously at the genetically spliced clone of Capt. Steve Rogers and Steve Yzerman, but The Captain blocks every blow with Captain America’s shield, a weapon that was bequeathed to him last season when the First Avenger fell in battle. The Immell is no match for the nearly immortal demon, as Azazel tires of this contest, grabs a hold of Steve’s shield, teleports it away and then reappears, driving both sabers into his opponent’s chest. Azazel then teleports away in attempts to ambush Heimdall. However this attack does not go quite as easily. Heimdall is fully aware of this attempt and readies his sword. The moment Azazel reappears, the Asgardian swings his mighty sword and cleaves Azazel in two. The red and black brimstone whisks through the air as Heimdall finishes through with his swing. The two halves of the Evil Midgets member tumble across the desert floor as the Dune squad advances their attack on the Commandos’ Lantern trio.
Stilgar and the Fremen fluidly move through the desert, completely at home in this terrain as they continue to evade the ring wielders’ energy blasts. Dr. Liet Kynes, his Ghola and Dr. Pardot Kynes triple team White Lantern Deadman as Stilgar and his Fremen attack Katniss and Fatality. Fremen #54 is taken out by several well placed green energy arrows as Fremen #52 and #56 are downed by Fatality’s more straight forward violet energy blasts. Stilgar flanks to the left and quickly ascend up to the top of a jagged rock that is jutting out of the sand. He silently leaps off of it as Fremen #55 is fending off Fatality. Stilgar, draws his crysknife from its sheath and plunges it deep into the back of Fatality. They both fall to the ground as Stilgar stands up victorious over Fatality and sending her to the Graveyard. Her Star Sapphire ring removes itself from her fingers and flies back to the Commandos locker room, where it will find itself and new wielder. Katniss takes careful aim and fires a double arrow shot which manages to take out both remaining Fremen as White Lantern Deadman now finds himself on the business end of a four on one, as Stilgar joins his close friends, the Kynes. But there is increasing rumble that shakes the desert ground. Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola is then eradicated from a power blast as Optimus Prime rolls in, transforms and lands with a purposeful thud, driving a plume of sand into the air in all directions. And crushing Doozer #8 in the process, a happy accident for the Commandos co-captain in this endeavor. Bat-Mite reappears again to lend a hand as the Dune trio now find themselves out gunned. Bat-Mite fires a magical bolt at Optimus, but it’s blocked by Heimdall’s sword. Heimdall then uses his sword to unleash the blue flame from countless cosmic suns. Unprepared for such a retaliation, bat-mite is caught by surprise and is destroyed by it.
There is a rush of air that whips over the desert as Earth Two Superman swoops in and takes out the father-son duo of Dr. Pardot Kynes and Dr. Liet Kynes. Stilgar now valiantly stands alone as he sees his chances of survival dwindle to the point of nothingness as the thousand foot tall behemoth, Surtur finally arrives. Defiantly until the end, Stilgar lunges towards Katniss, but is blocked by White Lantern Deadman. Katniss then fires green energy arrow after green energy arrow in Stilgar until he finally falls to the desert ground.
The members of the Commandos look to congratulate each other on a well fought, yet dominating performance, but Kal-L sees a look of despair in the eyes of Heimdall.
“This is far from over,” Heimdall boldly says to the rest of the team. The night sky then begins to brighten. “It is coming. And it’s coming to end us all.”
“What’s coming?” asks Katniss.
Heimdall looks up to the sky and says, “The Phoenix Force.”
And just as the Asgardian speaks those words, the cosmic entity makes its presence known and certainly felt. The Phoenix Force screeches through the sky and without even slowing down, completely and utterly annihilates Surtur. Optimus Prime looks at Earth Two Superman as they both know what must be done. Prime opens his chest up and pulls the Autobot Matrix of Leadership out. Earth Two Superman then uses is incredible strength to perform the world’s most unbelievable “Fastball Special.” Optimus soars through the air on a direct collision course with the Phoenix. He pulls the Matrix open and unleashes its full power. Heimdall takes aim with his sword and fires a joining shot as Katniss and White Lantern Deadman fly in to flank Optimus. Earth Two Superman leaps into the air and flies in as well to aid against this insurmountable attack. The Phoenix Force shrieks as the five different energy sources slam into it. But the cosmic entity continues to scorch the night sky and everything in its path. There is then a massive explosion that is so hot the desert sand is literally melted into sheet of glass. Earth Two Superman’s unconscious body falls from the heavens and impacts the ground with such force, the glass shatters through out the battlefield. Though unconscious, Kal-L miraculously manages to survive the near extinction of his team in what was once appeared to be an easy victory for the Commandos.
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