Le' Napoleon Brigade es John McLain (w/ 2 green lightsabers), (pre-suit) Darth Vader in Vader's Tie Fighter, Morpheus, Emperor Palpatine, Wonder Boy & Young Nasty Man (rig-a-goo-goo-rig-a-gig-goo-goo), Robin Hood on Horse #27, Little John on Horse #28, Alan Scott, (Yellow Ring) Guy Gardner (w/ a red lantern ring), Catwoman, Evil Lyn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troop #7-12, Skeletor's Blue Tech Guy #1, Coleman Trebor, Ron Meyer on Shadowfax, Princess Leia & Phil Day (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) in a Stealth Bomber, Zombie King Kong, Baron Fel, Andrew Laidlaw, & Astro-droid #5 in a Y-Wing Bomber, Duncan Idaho Ghola #2, Skeletor's Blue Tech Guy #2, Sprout (w/ a green lightsaber), & The Farmer in an Ornithopter, The Jolly Green Giant, Even Piel, Atrocitus, Maverick & Goose in an F-14, Padme Amidala and Batgirl in a Stealth Bomber, Power Girl, Jetfire & Jetstorm, Leia Organa-Solo (Jedi Knight) & Jania Solo in an F-14, Jedi Master #1A-4A, & 31, Red Lantern #3, Storm Trooper #87, (Kingdom Come) Flash, Nightstar, Courtney Cox, & Lala.
George Washington's Slaves are Santa Claus (w/ a Ki Adi Mundi's lightsaber) & Corbin Dallas (w/ a green lightsaber) w/ Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, Yoda (w/ a green lantern ring) on Kybuck, Paul Bunyan & Babe, B'dg, Kyle Catarn, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Mercer, Taurus, & Red Dog in a Hummer, Capt. Kirk & Porkins in a Snow Speeder, Black Lantern Darkseid, Savage Opress, Black Lantern Hal Jordan, Ass-blaster #1-3, Zombie Rodimus Prime, Adm. Ackbar w/ Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, John Conner, Maggie Simpson, & Gizmo in an Imperial Shuttle, Darth Plaguis (w/ a red lantern ring), Sarumon, Gollum, Shaak Ti (w/ green and indigo lantern rings), Wedge Antilles on an Oscorp Glider, Hound (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership, AKA: Houndimus Prime), Crimmell (w/ a red lantern ring), Agen Kolar, Sypho Dyas, Jedi Master #2, Sauron, Cade Skywalker & R5-D4 in an A-Wing, & Nolan Ryan w/ Gonzo, Kamilla, & Bart Simpson (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) in The Spider-Buggy.
Although they were not rivals in the original FFL "Rival System", the bad blood between The Brigade and The Slaves goes all the way back to Week 1 Season 1. Since then it has only grown considerably as the two of them have battled and placed respectively first and second in "The Fizzle Divizzle" in every single season. They have both won NL Championships, and neither of them have ever missed the Play-offs. Adm. Ackbar and his crew stay high above the battlefield in their Imperial Shuttle, in hopes to keep the team orderly and to command The Slaves from the skies. The Brigade on the other hand was given their orders before the match and are going to attempt a divide and conquer type plan of action; although, you can be certain that Emperor Palpatine has his own special plans for the occasion. Lord Vader leads the air strike, despite the complaints from the light-side users and rebels amongst the rest of the air force. Vader leads the two stealth bombers, two F-14's, the Y-Wing Bomber, & The Ornithopter, along with Jetfire and Jetstorm in towards the forested area that Houndimus Prime has set up as base of operations for a good portion of The Slaves Squad. Above the skies over the urban area of The Play-off Planet Power Girl is flying along with her teammates Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Atrocitus, Red Lantern #3, and Nightstar. They are met up head on by The Black Lantern versions of Darkseid and Hal Jordan from one side, and B'dg and Wedge Antilles, who are flanking Capt. Kirk in his Snow Speeder on the other. Guy Gardner doesn't think twice about ripping apart his Lantern-Zombified version of his old friend Hal Jordan through the combined use of his yellow and red rings, but Alan Scott, is not having quite as easy of a time with Black Lantern Darkseid. B'dg uses a green energy claw to take out the humanoid form of Red Lantern #3, but the furry little green lantern can't handle the spewing red energy of Atrocitus. Capt. Kirk snidely says: "This... Snow Speeder seems to be... weighed down ...by something" in attempt to make a fat joke about his reel Porkins, but before Porkins can decide whether to laugh in a jolly manner, or get pissed about the joke; Power Girl rips through the hull of The Snow Speeder and kills both of the combatants inside. Wedge was initially not to happy when he was not given an X-Wing or at least something with a cockpit to pilot before the match, but after flying on the glider for just a few minutes, he started to appreciate the piece of Oscorp tech more and more. "This is as much fun as somebody can have outside an X-Wing, or without a nude Twi' leck in the room" says Wedge into his communicator to his old buddy Adm. Ackbar. Wedge realizes that it is a bit of a cheap shot, but when he sees Alan Scott focusing every bit of magical green energy he can muster at Black Lantern Darkseid he pumpkin bombs the hell out of the exposed and weakened original Green Lantern (R.I.P. Alan Scott). Black Lantern Darkseid changes his attack’s focus from Alan Scott to Nightstar, who he rips apart with black energy Omega Beams. Alan Scott's ring almost instantly finds its new owner. The mystical green ring flies to the human being right next to it: Guy Gardner. Gardner is now in possession of all three lantern rings that he has ever been in possession of in the past. Guy Gardner then focuses his mental energy and creates an enormous energy trident consisting of one green, one yellow, and one red prong; which he stabs into the blackened heart of Black Lantern Darkseid to kill that which is already dead. Gardner, Power Girl, and Atrocitus then turn their attention to the only other Slave left in this skirmish, but they realize that Wedge on his Oscorp Glider is already gone. “His powers are miniscule, we will catch up with him later” says Atrocitus about the rebel pilot. “You’re right, we have bigger fish to fry” replies Power Girl as the three of them fly off to search out more “worthy enemies”. Darth Plaguis catches a glimpse of Catwoman atop one of the inner city billboards and decides that she would be a perfect test for his new apprentice Savage Opress. He sends the young brother of The famous Sith Lord Darth Maul into the fray. Opress is looking forward to this opportunity to impress his new master, and looks forward to someday potentially becoming a true Sith Lord. Savage and Catwoman meet up with one another on top of the billboard’s scaffold and begin to do battle. Opress moves in quickly, but impulsively towards Catwoman, who leaps out of the way. Savage, who is wielding his double-bladed red lightsaber, definitely has the superior weaponry; but it does not stop Catwoman from ducking underneath the dark warrior’s attack and using her whip to tie up the feet of The Zabrak Nightbrother. Once his feet are bound Selena Kyle gives her whip a tug and a quick release, which sends Savage Opress off the edge of the billboard scaffold to his death. Catwoman leaves the scene of the battle; but before she can do any more damage to The Slaves team, she is attacked by The Sith Lord that she did not even realize was watching the fight. Darth Plaguis violently pulls her body toward him with the force. She lands in front of him at his feet, where he spews a mouthful of red energy from his lantern ring on top of her to avenge his dead, failed apprentice. In a fight that the world has been waiting for for decades, The Jolly Green Giant squares off against Paul Bunyan. The two mammoth beings begin trading blows, but neither of them are able to gain the upper hand. As they grapple with each other, Paul looks into the eyes of The Jolly Green Giant and asks rhetorically “Do you know how I got so strong”? He then finishes his quip with: “I eat my vegetables... And I am very very hungry”! Despite winning the war of one-liners, Paul can’t seem to take down the Jolly Green Giant, until Babe the Oxen comes in to lend a hand (or a horn). The Jolly Blue Giant knocks down the green one and then he and his master are able to pound The Jolly one into foliage, which Babe then happily grazes on. Ron Meyer is learning “the meaning of haste” as he swiftly rides along on the back of Shadowfax. They say that this horse cannot be tamed by a man, but Ron is somehow able to stay on the back of The Maress... What keeps him on the back of this mighty steed you ask? Perhaps it is his long flowing hair, or maybe it is his ripped glistening abs (he is shirtless of course), but more than likely it is just because he is Ron Meyer. You see Ron Meyer learned how to ride wild horses in The Australian Outback where he grew up, which is also where he learned how to fight, learned how to kill, and learned how to keep it all a secret. Ron and Shadowfax ride up fast behind Gollum and Ron uses his fireman’s axe to brutally put a gash in the side of Gollum’s cranium. “My precious” Ron says as he licks the tainted halfling blood off of his axe. But unfortunately for Ron he is met by the blade of Agen Kolar’s lightsaber as the Jedi Master jumps out of nowhere and hits Ron with some “name brand” fighting skills (anybody get it)... Come on... Wait for it... Still nothing... Come on people, don’t you get it... Ron only had The “Meyer (Meijer) Brand skills (Wackity-smackity-dooooooooo). Sypho Dyas was not far behind Master Kolar, and that is who took out Shadowfax. Kyle Catarn stands alone with his lightsaber as he is outnumbered three to one. He swings his saber wildly and somehow through the good grace of the force is able to take out all three of the competitors which he is confronted with. The bodies of Storm Trooper #87, Courtney Cox, and Lala all lie together as Master Catarn runs off into the distance in search of more worthy opponents. Houndimus Prime and Yoda each respectively use digital sensors and the force to make themselves aware of the incoming aerial assault on their base, but they are not yet aware of the Brigade’s ground assault which is heading in their direction as well. Yoda sends up a barrage of green energy blasts in an attempt to scatter Vader and his forces, while Houndimus sends up all 3 of the Ass-blasters to try and slow them down. Yoda’s attacks work to separate the ships from one another, but they are all able to avoid being hit by his force-aided lantern blasts. Vader breaks off completely from his squadron and is met in the air by his Great-Grandson Cade Skywalker. The two of them engage in a fierce dog-fight. Despite the fact that Cade’s A-Wing is slightly faster, Anakin (I mean Vader, sorry) has no problem keeping up with Cade. Cade banks left in an attempt to double back and gain position over The young Sith Lord, but Vader stays right on his tail and then uses proton torpedoes to take out his descendant‘s ship. Cade is able to eject at the last second, but R5-D4 is not so lucky. Meanwhile in the desert area Zombie Rodimus and Zombie Kong are duking it out in a way that only giant zombies can. Where Rodimus may have had the upper hand in fighting ability and speed in life, this no longer helps him, as Zombie King Kong uses simple brute strength to crush the rusted Cybertronian metal body and extinguish Prime’s already dead spark. Maverick’s reel goose, is the first to lock on to, and take out one of the Ass-blasters from inside their F-14, but after he shows them how it’s done, Leia and Jania and Fel and Laidlaw are able to each take one out as well. Down on the forested ground, Robin Hood and Little John (atop their horses) are leading the charge with Wonder Boy, Young Nasty Man, Evil Lyn, Karg, their Crack Troops, Coleman Trebor, Even Piel, and the rest of The Jedi Masters following close behind. Houndimus Prime himself transforms into his Jeep Renegade-like, trailer pulling extended Jeep to ride back against the charge and take them on. He is joined by Yoda on top of Kybuck, Sgt. Slaughter and his homies in the Hummer, Sarumon, Shaak Ti, Crimmell, Nolan Ryan and the boys in the Spider Buggy, and Jedi Master #2. As this fierce clash commences, Santa Claus is having problems of his own. From atop a skyscraper in the center of The Play-off Planet’s “booming” downtown area, the jolly old St. Nick is spotted by Morpheus and John McLain. Morpheus looks to his friend John, who he has fought alongside since Season 1 and says: “Well, it looks like Santa Claus is coming to town and that we are going to have to do battle with him”. Just then Santa swoops toward them and McLain says: “Well, there is Santa, and check it out, he’s with the ugliest Mutha-f&(*^r I ever seen”. In the sleigh, Corbin asks Santa about their opponents: “Who the hell are these guys Santa”? Claus replies: “The one in the trench coat is Morpheus, I recognize him from when I gave him his first computer a few decades back“. Corbin replies with “who is the other guy, he’s gotta be the ugliest muthaf^*&r on the planet”. “Here Morpheus, I can barely handle one of these f*^(*in things, no need for me to have two right now”. McLain says as he gives one of his lightsabers to Morpheus as they jump off the building and land on the sleigh. Morpheus lands smoothly on the front of the sled, while John lands on the side and grabs onto it, almost slipping off. “John... What the F&*k are you doin on the ski of this sleigh”?!? McLain says to himself out loud. As Morpheus grips McLain’s green lightsaber with his right hand, he turns around and with the Uzi in his left hand busts a cap in both Donner and Blitzen (RIP). The sleigh shakes violently causing McLain to say: "Why does this s&*t always have to happen during Christmas"!?! John and Morpheus think that they are going to be all on their own in this fight, but they end being joined by a powerful teammate. Flash comes running off of one of the buildings to join them and as he rushes on to the sleigh he vibrates right through Dasher, Dancer, and Prancer (RIP). The sleigh is getting heavy for the remaining reindeer and the situation is getting heavy for all involved. Flash comes rocketing into the sleigh but just as he is rushing up on the two drivers, Corbin Dallas ignites his lightsaber at the exact right second and catches Flash in the chest. Flash’s dead body falls off the sleigh as Corbin says: “You see that S&*t Santa!? HA! I guess it’s better to be lucky than smart”. “Well, Corbin, I hope our luck hasn’t run out just yet, cause these guys are coming and it looks like the reindeer aren’t going to be around much longer to hold us up here“. McLain pulls out his Beretta and shoots Vixen (RIP) in the back of the head before Corbin punches the gun out of his hand. Only Comet and Cupid remain as the sleigh begins to falter, but Morpheus and McLain have a plan. Morpheus grabs a rope (it was for a very good cowboy named Curtis) out of the back of the sleigh and flings it around a decorative gargoyle on one of the buildings. He grabs a hold of Mclain, while Mclain uses his lightsaber to cut off the heads of Comet and Cupid (RIP) and to send both Santa and Corbin to their doom. “Yippy Ky-Aye Mother-f&*^r’s”. Corbin thinks fast and grabs a hold of the fattest and softest sack in the back of the sleigh, right before he takes a perfectly aimed shot. He knows he can only get off one shot so instead of targeting either McLain or Morpheus he aims for the rope. The futuristic bullet goes right through the lasso knot, and sends both Morpheus and McLain to the death that they thought they were dishing out to Santa and his best bud Corbin. As the Sleigh is plummeting to its demise, Corbin throws the sack underneath Santa to protect his body from the fall. The sleigh hits hard, and the bruised Santa rolls out of the sleigh. “Ho Ho Ho, what a ride”! Santa says to Corbin. Kringle continues: “That might be our craziest adventure yet buddy!! Come on Corbin, let’s go get the rest of em”! “Ho Ho Ho!! I said come on Corbin, what are you waitin for? Corbin... Corbin... Corbin... Goddammit Corbin, this ain’t no time for napping” He nudges Corbin as he is lying in the front seat of the sleigh. “I said let’s go Corbin... Corbin... Corbin... Let’s go Dallas............ CORBIN_____________!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”! After Santa finally comes to the realization, that not only his reindeer, but that his best friend and partner since Season 1 of Fantasy Fantasy is dead he wipes the one solitary tear rolling down his white beard and picks up not just his own lightsaber, but Corbin Dallas’s as well. After all it was getting late and as always he has a job to do and only one night to do it. Back at what is left of The Slave’s base of operations, the battle is at a stand still. Both teams have taken to guerilla tactics just like both Washington and Napoleon would want them to in the current situation. Both team’s rally together on their own sides and then the battle begins on both land and air. Adm. Ackbar and his crew do not notice, that Lord Vader has stealthily magnetized his specially designed Tie Fighter to stick to the side of The Imperial Shuttle. Vader leaps out of the ship and scales the side of the Shuttle until he can make a hole in a weak spot in the hull, to get inside. Once inside Vader rushes right into the cockpit of the Shuttle. It is at this moment that Ackbar realizes what is happening. John Conner gets on the com to the entire team and sends out a distress call, but the only one in range to lend any help is Wedge. Vader runs into the cockpit with his lightsaber drawn, and instantly kills Adm. Ackbar. John Conner makes a run at him with his Glock 18 full-auto blazing, but the Jedi-trained Sith Lord blocks every one of the bullets and removes Conner’s head. Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao draw their lightsabers and go in on Lord Vader together, but they are no match for the chosen one. Vader quickly and easily dispatches his Great-great-great grandchild and Padawan Vao. The Sith formerly known as Anakin then tries out his new skill of Sith Lightning to dispatch Maggie Simpson and Gizmo (practice makes perfect). Vader gets behind the controls of The Imperial Shuttle and begins to head toward the battle, when the shields go out on The Imperial Shuttle. “Those are proton torpedoes” Vader says to himself aloud. He then realizes that those weren’t just proton torpedoes, but the specially designed proton torpedoes from his own Tie Fighter. From inside Vader’s Tie, Wedge Antilles says out loud to himself: “Ha Ha, you ain’t the only one who can steal a spaceship” Wedge knows that he has hit the Imperial Shuttle hard enough to bring it down and retreats back to the battle. Vader knows that whoever stole his ship probably wasn’t as agile as he is and that he must have gotten there somehow. He runs to the hole in the hull and sees Wedge’s Oscorp Glider spiked to the side. Antilles thought that he “Wedged” it in good; but Vader cuts it loose with his blue lightsaber (he really needs to change that thing to red already) and hops on the glider to head back to the battle himself as well. Vader jumps off of the glider and crushes it with the force before it hits the ground (why destroy a perfectly good Oscorp Glider, you ask?... I don’t know... This dude kills younglings and just Sith Lightninged a baby and a magwai... He’s a jerk). Now the battle down below is truly raging on, as every member of both teams (except Santa) are now in this one concentrated area of the forest, about a mile outside of the city. Wedge radios down below for some help but the only flier available is Shaak Ti. She flies up to back up Wedge and instantly uses her green and indigo lantern powers to blast Leia Solo’s F-14 out of the sky, Wedge then flies up slowly, but obviously behind the remaining Brigade ships and sends out the following message over the onboard computer screen. The message that comes across the dashboard of the remaining Brigade ships is: “This is Lord Vader. My vocal readouts have been damaged, so I can only send messages via text. I need all ships to retreat and regroup back to the front lines. Every ship listens to the orders given from The Tie Fighter and swing back. The ships are all moving slowly in a perfect line as if they are marching when Vader’s Tie Fighter comes racing toward the rendezvous point. Wedge than uses the weapons from his stolen ship to lock on to the Brigade’s remaining fliers. Within seconds Wedge takes them out like fish in a barrel and the 2 stealth bombers, The Y-Wing Bomber, Jetfire, Jetstorm, and The Ornithopter go crashing to the ground. All of the riders in these ships eject to safety except for Baron Fel and his crew of Andrew Laidlaw and Droid #5 who bravely decide to stay in just long enough to fire their concussion missiles which causes Wedge’s ship to be taken out along with them (Wedge is able to eject to safety). Some combatants simply stare in awe as Zombie King Kong knocks down and then viciousely devours both Paul Bunyan and Babe but with a meal like this to consume, all involved realize that Zombie King Kong isn’t going to be contributing much more to The Brigade’s cause. Sauron is surrounded by Jedi Masters #1A-4A and 31. They move into together, but they are unable to break through the mace laden defenses of The Dark Lord. Sauron is able to kill every last one of them. Darth Plaguis uses his red ring to make a protective aura around himself as he rushes in with his lightsaber. Plaguis laughs as he force pushes the lightsaber wielding Sprout out of the way. He quickly rips through Skeletor’s Blue Tech Guy #2 and Sprout’s Farmer buddy. Duncan Idaho puts up quite a fight with his Atreides honor guard sword but Plaguis’ lightsaber skills are to much for him. Plaguis then meets up with Atrocitus who looks at his red ring wearing finger and says: “So I suppose you think you know how to use that thing” says Atrocitus. “Better than you do, my skills with the dark side have given me power over this ring, that you could never grasp”. Atrocitus laughs and barrels towards the Sith Lord. Surprisingly even to a watcher as well-traveled as I, Darth Plaguis proves himself right and vomits red plasma all over the wrist of Atrocitus which separates his ring from his hand, right before he uses his red lightsaber to slice open The Red Lantern Corps Leader’s throat. Darth Sidious is hiding behind a nearby tree as this happens. While Lord Plaguis is admiring his own handy work, Palpatine leaps out with his lightsaber drawn and stabs his former mentor in the back. Nolan Ryan is driving The Spider Buggy almost as fast as his famed pitches used to go. Gonzo and Kamilla can barely hold on to each other tight enough in the back seat, while Bart tells them to "Stop having a cow". Nolan drives straight up the side of a grouping of large trees and aims the web-blasters at the neck of Zombie King Kong, who is still disgustingly devouring the enormous dead bodies of Paul Bunyan and Babe. Zombie King Kong is pulled to the ground hard. Nolan Ryan and his buddies drive right up the stomach of the subdued King Kong, and Bart uses his Sith Lavarouk to shoot numerous razor sharp saw-blade like instruments into the neck of the massive zombie to finish him off. Wonder Boy's mind bullets bounce off of the side of Sgt. Slaughter's Hummer and Mercer is able to use the .50 Caliber machine gun on the side to mow him down. Young Nasty Man is taken out by the sword of Taurus who is hanging out the other side of the speeding Hummer. Robin Hood and Little John are running deeper and deeper through the forest, when Little John gets a chill down his spine and comments about the phenomenon to Robin Hood. "The White Wizard moves here and there they say", retorts Robin of Locksley. They draw their weapons, but they are not fast enough to stop the Wizard's wizardry. Sarumon quickly dispatches with Robin Hood, Little John, and both of their horses. The unlikely duo of Crimmell and Jedi Master #2 sneak up on the side arm wielding Maverick and Goose. The 2 Slaves use their lightsabers to take out the two Navy pilots; but soon after this Crimmell is targeted by a blaster bolt from the gun of Senator Amidala, while the quick moving and fierce fighting Cassandra Cain (that's Batgirl, for the incomplete nerds) takes out the older and more experienced Jedi Master. Padme and Batgirl, keep moving, but unfortunately for them, they bite off a little more than they can chew, with their next victim. They both bravely jump at Sauron but their attacks are futile against the creator of the one ring. The two undersized young woman are knocked away into the distance by Sauron’s huge physical form. Palpatine has regrouped with his new apprentice Darth Vader and the duo has teamed with Power Girl. The three of them will now attempt to do what Padme and Batgirl had no business doing on their own. Palpatine and Vader have no desire for anyone to be left alive that is claiming to be The Dark Lord of anything. The Emperor unleashes a potent blast of Sith Lightning into Sauron, while Vader force pushes the “The Deceiver” down. Once the mighty Sauron is down, Power Girl moves in with her Kryptonian speed and then pounds the armored being into the earth with her Kryptonian strength. Phil Day and Princess Leia barrage with Shaak Ti with laser blasts and Lavarouk blades; but the Jedi Master is easily able to dodge and block the attacks. Once Master Ti is able to get close enough to the Galaga Champion and young senator. The Lantern-powered Jedi easily takes them out with quick-placed lightsaber slashes. Evil Lyn and Karg stand back while the perfectly placed Crack Troops take position and fire at the Kybuck riding Yoda. Yoda uses his Jedi skills and Green Lantern abilities to easily avoid the attacks and then simply returns the laser blasts with his lightsaber, to not just take out the Crack Troops, but he Blue Tech Guy, as well as the 2 officers Evil Lyn and Karg. Coleman Trebor force pushes the Hummer being driven by Sgt. Slaughter, and completely tips the vehicle over. Slaughter and his team all quickly pile out and converge on the Jedi Councilman. Trebor draws his lightsaber and takes out Red Dog, and then slices the sword of Taurus before he stabs the former Circus Performer in the heart. Slaughter is able to grab a hold of Coleman by the neck and get him in a choke hold, for a split second while he works together with Mercer. Mercer delivers several fast-placed blows to the stomach of Trebor to knock the wind out of him and distract him long enough for Slaughter to break his neck. As Power Girl is getting up from her Sauron pounding, she feels weakened from some sort of unknown source. This source is the mystical spell being placed on her by Sarumon the White. Power Girl shakes off the spell that is noticeably making her weaker and flies towards him, but as she takes flight, she is snatched out of the air by Houndimus Prime who then breaks her neck by smashing her against a nearby rock ledge. Houndimus then transforms and rolls out over top of Leia-Organa Solo and her daughter Jania despite their readied stance and drawn lightsabers (I don’t hear any music, but he might just have the Touch). Agen Kolar couldn’t take out Palpatine with the help of Kit Fisto, Mace Windu, and Saeese Tiin, so it was somewhat arrogant to think that he could do it with just the help of Sypho Dyas. Palpatine leaps into action and takes out both of the Jedi Council Members with relative ease. Even Piel’s fierce Lannik fighting style allows him to tear through the ranks of Sgt. Slaughter and Mercer, on the way to do battle with Kyle Catarn, but Vader is already there fighting him. The Jedi, who took Piel’s place on The Council and then later became a Sith actually welcomes the help against one of the first padawans trained by his son Luke. The Master Piel/Lord Vader combo takes out Catarn pretty quickly. Sprout wakes up from his force-push triggered concussion just in time to see the Spider Buggy barreling towards him. Lucky for the little Sprout The Spider Buggy riders do not see him or his lightsaber as he pulls a little trick his teammate Morpheus taught him and drags his saber across the side of the vehicle causing the gas tank to blow up and the vehicle to flip over. The roll cage protects the 4 combatants from mortal injury and they all climb out before The Spider Buggy explodes. Vader, Palpatine, Piel, Guy Gardner, and Sprout all regroup with one another. They realize that they are outnumbered, but they by no means believe that they are outgunned. Yoda on top of Kybuck leads the charge against the remaining Brigade members, with Cade, Sarumon, Shaak Ti, Wedge, Houndimus, Nolan Ryan, Gonzo, Kamilla, and Bart Simpson all bravely following the Grand Jedi Master into battle. Gardner sends a blast from his new green ring that knocks Yoda off of Kybuck and kills his two legged steed. This also sends Wedge sailing off into the distance. Vader, somewhat impulsively rushes at the group and manages to rip through Nolan Ryan and Bart Simpson (he just can’t stop killing kids) before coming toe to toe with his Great Grandson Cade Skywalker. Cade may have mastered both sides of the force, but it is Vader’s destiny to bring balance to it. Vader parries Cade’s attacks and then goes in for the kill with a lightsaber head shot. With their lightsabers drawn, Even Piel wipes out Gonzo on his way to do battle with Houndimus Prime, and Sprout does the same to Kamilla on his way to tripping over a branch and reaggravating his bruised head and ego. Palpatine lends a hand to Even Piel against Houndimus and the two of them are able to take out The Autobot Leader. They are also able to combine their light and dark side powers to destroy the Valor gifted White Wizardry of Sarumon. But they run into a little bit more trouble with the next person they choose to double team. Palpatine and Piel each take a side to attempt to take Yoda off guard but Yoda is quick enough, even without his green lantern powers to evade their initial attacks. Yoda takes out his old friend Piel first with a lightsaber slash to the throat and then uses his green lantern ring to have an easier time blocking Palpatine’s Sith Lightning attacks than he has in the past. Yoda spin jumps over the top of their Sith Lightning/Green Energy stream and relieves Palpatine of his head. Guy Gardner is really loving the new addition of his third lantern ring which he uses to attack Shaak Ti. Although Ti has two rings of her own, not to mention her significant force abilities. The two of them are drawn into a power struggle that is seemingly unending as neither of them is able to gain the upped hand. Shaak Ti makes a bold play and attempts to draw her lightsaber, but this move does not work. The lightsaber is blasted from her hand and then she is taken off guard just long enough by the now exhausted Gardner. Gardner slumps over with emptied lantern rings while Shaak Ti dies. Wedge acts quickly and picks up Shaak Ti’s dropped Jedi Weapon. He then uses it to finish the job that Ti started and kills the weakened Guy Gardner. Yoda rushes over to see Shaak Ti to see if she is still breathing and does not notice the extremely stealth Darth Vader running up behind him. The young Sith force pushes Wedge out of the way and then Vader leans back over Yoda to avenge his master and slice the Jedi Master in half. Yoda turns right before Vader is about to do him in and sees a sloppily thrown lightsaber enter into Vader’s head right before he can kill Yoda. “You I am to thank... Santa”. says Yoda. Santa is down to just his long johns and his two lightsabers as he just ran a mile from the city to get to his teammates. Wedge pops up and asks “What happened to your reindeer... and Corbin”? Santa says nothing but Yoda unclenches his eyes after peering into the force and says: “Dead they are... Sorry are we”. Sprout wakes up just after the fight is completed to realize that he has been overlooked and that the battle is over.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Syracuse Valley vs The Right Wing
“Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.”
-Homer Simpson
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 6 Match located on the Playoff Planet. They are as follows:
The Syracuse Valley: Cosmic Spider-Man, Soundwave, w/ (movie) Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, (movie) Ravage, Decepticons #1 and 3, Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2, Go-Bots #1 and 2, Black Lantern Rob Bartlett, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Xenomorph #97, 98, 99 and 100, Dash Rendar, Leebo, Beavis (w/ Rob Bartlett's old halberd and hockey stick), Butthead (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) and Buttchunk in an Imperial Shuttle, Crasher, Young Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lantern ring and a blue lightsaber) in a Tie Interceptor, Bucky O'Hare (w/ a green lightsaber), Deadeye Duck (w/ a red lightsaber), Bruiser (w/ a red lightsaber), Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie, (Head Coach) Commander Dogstar, Peppy Hare (w/ Darth Maul's old double red lightsaber) in a Tie Interceptor, James McLeod in a Tie Interceptor, Kree Soldiers #7-18, Sith Lord #5: Darth Techno (w/ a second red lightsaber), Dark Side Adept #13 (Darth Techno's new Sith Apprentice), Little Goombas #7-18, Boomerang Bros. #2-9, Captain Lou Albano, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Headbanger and Major Disaster, Splinter, Venus Demilo, Lakitu, Hank Chien, Charlie (from Masters of the Universe), Giant Hammer Bros. #5, 6-10, Fire Bros. #7-10, Raiden with Kid Thunder, Sub-Zero, Mr. Game and Watch, Bran, Glass Joe, Jonny Cage, Jax, Kid Chameleon, Game Boy, Wart, Mappy, Pitfall Harry, King Hippo, Homer Simpson, Balrog #5, Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Knight #37.
The Right Wing: Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Prometheus, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a blue lantern ring), John Stewart, Blackfire, Athena (w/ an indigo lantern ring), Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Droid Fighter Ships #3-8, Jedi Masters #18A-23A, Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance), Bear (w/ a green lightsaber and a demon rod), House M.D., Red She Hulk, Skaar, Son of Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber), The Volturi: Aro (w/ a red lightsaber), Caius and Marcus, Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Lady Voltari, Jool Nooret, Jacen Solo, Sleepwalker, Deathblow, Spikor, Lyra: The She-Hulk, Batwoman, Captain Panaka, Titanium Man, Gen. Ulysses S. Grant (w/ Mandalorian Armor) and Green Goblin.
Let the battle begin. . .
Forest Region. . .
Darth Techno walks along the forest floor with a red lightsaber in each hand. The Sith Lord travels with his Sith Apprentice, Dark Side Adept #13. Meanwhile, Nick Houslander leads Jedi Masters #18A-23A. The Lightsiders notice the Sith in front of them. Nick Houslander rushes at his enemies and ignites his blue lightsaber; he also wields his devil lance.
Houslander: HELLS’ YEAH!!
The skirmish is too spectacular to fully divulge the details. Darth Techno and Dark Side Adept #13 fall in battle to the fury of Houslander’s Jedi troop. To Houslander’s dismay, Jedi Masters #18A, 21A and 23A are also killed.
Jedi Master #19A: Now I know we can take on the entire Valley Decepticon squad!!!
Houslander: I don’t know dude. . .
Before they are able to move, they are met by Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Knight #37. The Jedi fight one another while Houslander looks on. At the end of the battle, only Houslander remains. Jedi Masters #19A, 20A and 22A, along with Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Knight #37 are killed.
Houslander (to himself): Guess I could’ve helped. . . .
As Houslander contemplates his lack of assistance, Blue Lantern #2 encases Houslander in his power ring’s aura and soars over the swamp region. Blue Lantern #2 and Houslander both focus on the current fracas and decide to join their teammates.
Swamp Region. . . .
Pitfall Harry swings from one vine to another. He jumps from the last vine to a tree branch. On the branch awaits Victoria with a red lightsaber. Pitfall Harry is skewered. The red-headed vampire kicks him to the swamp waters below and jumps away. King Hippo faces Aro. King Hippo attempts to use his sheer bulk to connect with Aro to no avail. Aro uses his red lightsaber to slice King Hippo’s stomach; his entrails empty into the swamp. Aro and Victoria then join Houslander. The trio’s lightsabers are ignited and ready for a fight against the Toxic Avenger and the Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Headbanger and Major Disaster. In a savage fight, all lightsaber wielding members of the Right Wing remain standing while the entire Toxic fighter squad are defeated and killed.
Xenomorphs #97, 98, 99 and 100 burst forth from the waters below. They surround Caius and rip him apart. In response to their teammate’s death, Aro, Houslander and Victoria mean to avenge his death. In a spectacular display of precision and stealth Aro kills Xenomorph #97; Houslander kills Xenomorph #98; Victoria kills Xenomorph #99; and all three skewer Xenomorph #100 at the same time.
Meanwhile, Marcus is barraged by the projectiles thrown at him by Boomerang Bros. #2-9 and Little Goombas #7-18. In the end, a well placed boomerang slices off Marcus’s head. Blue Lantern #2 destroys all of the Boomerang Brothers, #2-9, by using blue colored constructs. Aro and Caius finish off Goombas #8-18 themselves. Houslander runs at remaining Goomba #7 and rips his throat out with his teeth. The vampires smile at the sight. They think to themselves that the Volturi have worn off on their teammate.
Houslander (covered in Goomba #7’s blood): Tastes like chicken! HELLS’YEAH!
Blue Lantern #2 carries Houslander and the vampires away and places them in the city on top of a building.
City Region- Building top 81698. . .
“Girls Just Want to have Fun” by Cindy Lauper plays over loud speakers located on top off the building. Captain Lou Albano is lost in the lyrics. He thinks of better days when he used to hang out with his pink haired protégé. A tear comes to his eye.
Batwoman: Lauper had it right Albano. Girls do just want to have fun!
Batwoman pulls out a batarang which slices into Albano’s shoulder. Albano looks over at the weapon and notices that it is ticking. The batarang explodes and the shrapnel decimates Albano’s head. Batwoman is then joined by Blue Lantern #2, Houslander, Aro and Victoria. Glass Joe, Johnny Cage and Jax stand side by side, waiting for someone to make the first move. The “Mortal Kombat” theme song plays over the speakers. Jax and Cage get revved up and take center stage. The duo faces Aro and Victoria. An intense fight ensues and the two Kombateers are about to gain the upper hand on the vampires when a pumpkin bomb explodes in their midst. The Green Goblin’s bombs knock both Jax and Johnny Cage off their game. The vampires take advantage of this and kill them both. Houslander unleashes his fury upon Glass Joe and slices him in half with his devil lance.
Houslander: HELL’S YEAH!!!
Silver Surfer flies by and picks up Houslander. Blue Lantern #2 joins them in the air.
Desert Region. . .
Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Crasher, Zombie Overkill, (movie) Ravage, Decepticons #1 and 3, Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2, and Go-Bots #1 and 2 fight Superwoman, Silver Surfer, Nick Houslander, Prometheus, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Lyra-the She Hulk, Red She Hulk and Skaar, Son of Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber).
The Cybertronian cat-like beast pounces on Red She Hulk. Ravage lashes out and pins the woman warrior to the ground. Skaar and Cosmic Hulk Robot join the fray and use all of their brute strength to rip off Ravage’s head. Before a wounded Red She Hulk can gain her composure, she is struck by both BL Squawk Talk and BL Beast Box. The BL Transformers pound her to a pulp. Silver Surfer enters the fray and uses the power cosmic to rip apart both BL Squawk Talk and BL Beast Box.
Nick Houslander stands with Prometheus. (movie) Laserbeak jettisons from Soundwave and focuses on the Greek Titan. Prometheus momentarily freezes. Prometheus remembers how he was once bound to a rock with an eagle tearing out his liver over and over and over again. The hesitation is more than enough time for Laserbeak to tear into Prometheus’s stomach. He suffers the same fate again as his liver is seen dangling from his body. Prometheus falls to the ground and dies. Its task completed, Laserbeak, once again, joins Soundwave in the air.
Houslander knocks into the Go-Bots.
Houslander (ignites his lightsaber): Ripoffs!!!
Go-Bots #1 and 2, in robot form, with Crasher, race after Houslander. Houslander ducks under Lyra’s legs and a battle ensues between Lyra and Go-Bots #1 and 2. Cosmic Hulk joins the fight. The combined efforts of the hulking duo manage to destroy the Go-Bots and Crasher.
Zombie Overkill is in a heated battle with Skaar. The robotic dinosaur engulfs the Son of Hulk in its mouth. The green lightsaber is not enough to defeat Zombie Overkill and the great beast rips Skaar apart. In response, Cosmic Hulk, Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra and Silver Surfer, join forces and destroy Zombie Overkill.
Decepticons #1 and 3 and Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2 face off against the exceptionally powerful Cosmic Hulk, Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra and Silver Surfer. In the end, Decepticon #3 and Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2 are destroyed. A mortally destroyed Decepticon #1 lies in the sand. The Cybertronian looks up and sees Houslander, wielding both his lightsaber and devil lance. He deals the final blow to Decepticon #1, who shuts down forever.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!!
Superwoman, Silver Surfer with Houslander and Blue Lantern #2 fly up into the air.
Air Region. . .
A furious battle occurs between the two teams in the air. Dash Rendar, Leebo, Beavis (w/ Rob Bartlett's old halberd and hockey stick), Butthead (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) and Buttchunk fly in an Imperial Shuttle; Young Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lantern ring and a blue lightsaber) commands a Tie Interceptor; Peppy Hare (w/ Darth Maul's old double red lightsaber) commands a Tie Interceptor; and James McLeod also flies in a Tie Interceptor. The pilots fight against Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Silver Surfer and Nick Houslander, Zeus, John Stewart, Athena with an indigo lantern ring and Droid Fighter Ships #3-8.
Droid Fighter Ships #3-8 are easily outmaneuvered and outmanned by the combined skills of the Tie Interceptor Trio of Skywalker, O’Hare and McLeod. All Droid Fighter ships are destroyed.
Blue Lantern #2 focuses on Young Anakin Skywalker.
Young Anakin Skywalker: This is tense!
Skywalker’s Tie Interceptor barrages Blue Lantern #2 with its laser fire. Blue Lantern #2 uses his ring for protection against Skywalker’s weaponry. Blue Lantern #2 then projects blue constructs at the Interceptor. As Skywalker avoids the projectiles, he is hit by Zeus’s lightning. Skywalker jettisons from the vehicle and flies away using his lantern ring. He ignites his lightsaber and faces Blue Lantern #2. John Stewart knocks Skywalker off his game. The mid-chloridianed child is then killed by Blue Lantern #2.
Blue Lantern #2: You never stood a chance youngling against a true lantern. . .
Blue Lantern, while focused on Skywalker’s death, is blown out of the sky by the Imperial Shuttle piloted by Dash Rendar, Leebo, Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk. Zeus and Athena rip off the Imperial Shuttle’s door. The air rushes out of the ship, but Rendar manages to hold it steady. Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk focus on Athena, thinking that the goddess would be the easiest and “hottest” prey.
Beavis: Hey! Hey! You’re hot! All draped up in robes and stuff! Toga!!! Toga!!!!
Butthead: Heheheheheh. Yeah. Toga! Toga!
Athena: Toga this morons!
Athena takes her spear and skewers Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk before they are able to use their weapons. Zeus then infuses the entire ship with lightning. Leebo overloads and his circuitry explodes. Rendar jumps out with a parachute. Silver Surfer races by with Houslander in tow. Houslander uses his lightsaber to slice Rendar in half.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
Superwoman focuses on James McLeod’s Tie Interceptor. Although McLeod is a superior pilot, his skills are not enough to avoid Superwoman’s powers. McLeod and his Interceptor are destroyed.
Peppy Hare flies away and his ship suddenly stops mid flight. It is being held in place by John Stewart’s green lantern ring. The tie interceptor is struck by Superwoman, Zeus, and Athena at the same time. Hare is destroyed with his ship.
The remaining combatants fly away to the city.
City Region-Final Battle. . .
The entire remaining teams face each other. The Valleyites- Cosmic Spider-Man, Soundwave, w/ (movie) Laserbeak, Black Lantern Rob Bartlett, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Bucky O'Hare (w/ a green lightsaber), Deadeye Duck (w/ a red lightsaber), Bruiser (w/ a red lightsaber), Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie, (Head Coach) Commander Dogstar, Kree Soldiers #7-18, Splinter, Venus Demilo, Lakitu, Hank Chien, Charlie (from Masters of the Universe), Giant Hammer Bros. #5, 6-10, Fire Bros. #7-10, Raiden w/ Kid Thunder, Sub-Zero, Mr. Game and Watch, Bran, Kid Chameleon, Game Boy, Wart, Mappy, Homer Simpson and Balrog #5 against Superwoman, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a blue lantern ring), John Stewart, Blackfire, Athena (w/ an indigo lantern ring), Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance), Bear (w/ a green lightsaber and a demon rod), House M.D., The Volturi: Aro (w/ a red lightsaber), Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Lady Voltari, Jool Nooret, Jacen Solo, Sleepwalker, Deathblow, Spikor, Lyra: The She-Hulk, Batwoman, Captain Panaka, Titanium Man, Gen. Ulysses S. Grant (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Titanium Man and Green Goblin.
In an unprecedented event Cosmic Spiderman and Cosmic Hulk Robot race toward each other at supersonic speed. The cosmic duo has overloaded their powers, anticipating that each would destroy the other. The immensity of the cosmic explosion that destroys both Cosmic Spiderman and Cosmic Hulk Robot in the process and resulting from their mutual overloads devastates the entire cityscape. . . and kills a substantial majority of the remaining combatants. From the Valleyites- Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie, Commander Dogstar, Kree Soldiers #7-18, Splinter, Lakitu, Hank Chien, Charlie, Giant Hammer Bros. #7-10, Fire Bros. #7-10, Mr. Game and Watch, Bran, Kid Chameleon, Game Boy, Wart and Mappy perish. With them, from the Wingers die House M.D., Jool Nooret, Deathblow, Spikor, Batwoman, Sleepwalker, Lady Voltari, Captain Panaka, Ulysses S. Grant and Green Goblin.
From the wreckage, lightsabers are ignited and wielded by the combatants. Bucky O'Hare holds his green lightsaber and both Deadeye Duck and Bruiser hold their red lightsabers. In defiance, Houslander holds his blue lightsaber and devil lance, Bear holds a green lightsaber, Aro holds a red lightsaber, Victoria holds a red lightsaber and Jacen Solo holds his lightsaber.
Bear (to his opponents): Oooh! You have that I-smell-like-I-cr*pped-my-pants-smell!
This infuriates O’Hare and Duck, who both charge Bear. Bear manages to hold his own for a short time due to his dual weapons, but ultimately dies at the duo’s blades. Although they kill Bear, they are no match for the remaining lightsaber wielding Wingers. At the end of the fracas, Deadeye Duck, Bucky O’Hare, Bruiser all lie dead. Balrog #5 then bursts from underneath the street. The immense chain and flaming sword of the fiery beast destroy Aro, Jacen Solo and Victoria. Superwoman, Silver Surfer, Zeus, Blackfire, Athena, Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot and Lyra: The She-Hulk, join forces and destroy Balrog #5.
Giant Hammer Bros. #5 and 6, Raiden, Kid Thunder and Sub-Zero face Houslander, Flash, John Stewart, Blackfire and Athena. Giant Hammer Bros. #5 and 6 throw their hammers at their enemies. Blackfire uses her energy projections and strength to destroy the projectiles. Athena then uses her indigo lantern ring to form a spear and kills Giant Hammer Bros. #5. John Stewart follows suit and uses his ring to form a green spear which skewers Giant Hammer Bros. #6. Subzero uses his powers to freeze John Stewart so that his blood actually freezes inside his body; Stewart dies. Flash is too quick for Subzero and a speed-induced, well placed vortex spins him over to Blackfire, who kills him. Raiden and Kid Thunder combine their powers and focus on Athena. The lightning rips through Athena and kills her. In return, Zeus soars to the scene and rips through both Raiden and Kid Thunder. Houslander makes sure that the duo are dead and rushes over to slice their heads off with his devil lance.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
Houslander then notices Homer Simpson walking from the wreckage of a building with Venus Demilo. He will make Demilo his! Houslander rushes over to Simpson.
Simpson: Please don’t hurt me! I have a wife and kids! Hurt her!
Houslander slices Simpson in half. Demilo walks over to Houslander.
Demilo: Come with me. Come to the Syracuse Valley. Join us.
Houslander: No b**ch is going to tell me what to do! HELLS’YEAH!!
With his war cry, Houslander ignites his lightsaber and slices her in half too.
Soundwave, Laserbeak, Black Lantern Rob Bartlett, (movie) Megatron and (movie) Starscream face Superwoman, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a blue lantern ring), Blackfire, Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Lyra and Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance).
BL Rob Bartlett is decimated by BL She-Hulk. Laserbeak catches Flash and kills him, but is then destroyed by BL Six-Shot. Soundwave manages to destroy Blackfire, but is destroyed by Superwoman, BL She-Hulk and Silver Surfer. Zeus riddles Starscream with lightning while Silver Surfer performs the coup-de-grace and wields the power cosmic to destroy the Decepticon. Megatron is not going out without a fight. In a pitched and furious battle, he destroys BL She-Hulk, Lyra, Zeus and then BL Six-Shot. Although damaged beyond repair, he still defiantly faces Silver Surfer and Superwoman.
Houslander rides with the Surfer on his cosmic board.
Surfer: Would you like the honor?
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
Surfer and Superwoman hit Megatron at the same time and devastate the Decepticon. As Megatron crumples to the ground, Houslander uses both his devil lance and lightsaber to cut out Megatron’s eye. Houslander holds the piece in his hand, triumphantly.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
The Right Wing: Superwoman, Silver Surfer and Nick Houslander survive.
The Syracuse Valley: All dead.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
-Homer Simpson
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 6 Match located on the Playoff Planet. They are as follows:
The Syracuse Valley: Cosmic Spider-Man, Soundwave, w/ (movie) Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, (movie) Ravage, Decepticons #1 and 3, Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2, Go-Bots #1 and 2, Black Lantern Rob Bartlett, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Xenomorph #97, 98, 99 and 100, Dash Rendar, Leebo, Beavis (w/ Rob Bartlett's old halberd and hockey stick), Butthead (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) and Buttchunk in an Imperial Shuttle, Crasher, Young Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lantern ring and a blue lightsaber) in a Tie Interceptor, Bucky O'Hare (w/ a green lightsaber), Deadeye Duck (w/ a red lightsaber), Bruiser (w/ a red lightsaber), Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie, (Head Coach) Commander Dogstar, Peppy Hare (w/ Darth Maul's old double red lightsaber) in a Tie Interceptor, James McLeod in a Tie Interceptor, Kree Soldiers #7-18, Sith Lord #5: Darth Techno (w/ a second red lightsaber), Dark Side Adept #13 (Darth Techno's new Sith Apprentice), Little Goombas #7-18, Boomerang Bros. #2-9, Captain Lou Albano, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Headbanger and Major Disaster, Splinter, Venus Demilo, Lakitu, Hank Chien, Charlie (from Masters of the Universe), Giant Hammer Bros. #5, 6-10, Fire Bros. #7-10, Raiden with Kid Thunder, Sub-Zero, Mr. Game and Watch, Bran, Glass Joe, Jonny Cage, Jax, Kid Chameleon, Game Boy, Wart, Mappy, Pitfall Harry, King Hippo, Homer Simpson, Balrog #5, Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Knight #37.
The Right Wing: Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Prometheus, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a blue lantern ring), John Stewart, Blackfire, Athena (w/ an indigo lantern ring), Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Droid Fighter Ships #3-8, Jedi Masters #18A-23A, Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance), Bear (w/ a green lightsaber and a demon rod), House M.D., Red She Hulk, Skaar, Son of Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber), The Volturi: Aro (w/ a red lightsaber), Caius and Marcus, Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Lady Voltari, Jool Nooret, Jacen Solo, Sleepwalker, Deathblow, Spikor, Lyra: The She-Hulk, Batwoman, Captain Panaka, Titanium Man, Gen. Ulysses S. Grant (w/ Mandalorian Armor) and Green Goblin.
Let the battle begin. . .
Forest Region. . .
Darth Techno walks along the forest floor with a red lightsaber in each hand. The Sith Lord travels with his Sith Apprentice, Dark Side Adept #13. Meanwhile, Nick Houslander leads Jedi Masters #18A-23A. The Lightsiders notice the Sith in front of them. Nick Houslander rushes at his enemies and ignites his blue lightsaber; he also wields his devil lance.
Houslander: HELLS’ YEAH!!
The skirmish is too spectacular to fully divulge the details. Darth Techno and Dark Side Adept #13 fall in battle to the fury of Houslander’s Jedi troop. To Houslander’s dismay, Jedi Masters #18A, 21A and 23A are also killed.
Jedi Master #19A: Now I know we can take on the entire Valley Decepticon squad!!!
Houslander: I don’t know dude. . .
Before they are able to move, they are met by Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Knight #37. The Jedi fight one another while Houslander looks on. At the end of the battle, only Houslander remains. Jedi Masters #19A, 20A and 22A, along with Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Knight #37 are killed.
Houslander (to himself): Guess I could’ve helped. . . .
As Houslander contemplates his lack of assistance, Blue Lantern #2 encases Houslander in his power ring’s aura and soars over the swamp region. Blue Lantern #2 and Houslander both focus on the current fracas and decide to join their teammates.
Swamp Region. . . .
Pitfall Harry swings from one vine to another. He jumps from the last vine to a tree branch. On the branch awaits Victoria with a red lightsaber. Pitfall Harry is skewered. The red-headed vampire kicks him to the swamp waters below and jumps away. King Hippo faces Aro. King Hippo attempts to use his sheer bulk to connect with Aro to no avail. Aro uses his red lightsaber to slice King Hippo’s stomach; his entrails empty into the swamp. Aro and Victoria then join Houslander. The trio’s lightsabers are ignited and ready for a fight against the Toxic Avenger and the Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Headbanger and Major Disaster. In a savage fight, all lightsaber wielding members of the Right Wing remain standing while the entire Toxic fighter squad are defeated and killed.
Xenomorphs #97, 98, 99 and 100 burst forth from the waters below. They surround Caius and rip him apart. In response to their teammate’s death, Aro, Houslander and Victoria mean to avenge his death. In a spectacular display of precision and stealth Aro kills Xenomorph #97; Houslander kills Xenomorph #98; Victoria kills Xenomorph #99; and all three skewer Xenomorph #100 at the same time.
Meanwhile, Marcus is barraged by the projectiles thrown at him by Boomerang Bros. #2-9 and Little Goombas #7-18. In the end, a well placed boomerang slices off Marcus’s head. Blue Lantern #2 destroys all of the Boomerang Brothers, #2-9, by using blue colored constructs. Aro and Caius finish off Goombas #8-18 themselves. Houslander runs at remaining Goomba #7 and rips his throat out with his teeth. The vampires smile at the sight. They think to themselves that the Volturi have worn off on their teammate.
Houslander (covered in Goomba #7’s blood): Tastes like chicken! HELLS’YEAH!
Blue Lantern #2 carries Houslander and the vampires away and places them in the city on top of a building.
City Region- Building top 81698. . .
“Girls Just Want to have Fun” by Cindy Lauper plays over loud speakers located on top off the building. Captain Lou Albano is lost in the lyrics. He thinks of better days when he used to hang out with his pink haired protégé. A tear comes to his eye.
Batwoman: Lauper had it right Albano. Girls do just want to have fun!
Batwoman pulls out a batarang which slices into Albano’s shoulder. Albano looks over at the weapon and notices that it is ticking. The batarang explodes and the shrapnel decimates Albano’s head. Batwoman is then joined by Blue Lantern #2, Houslander, Aro and Victoria. Glass Joe, Johnny Cage and Jax stand side by side, waiting for someone to make the first move. The “Mortal Kombat” theme song plays over the speakers. Jax and Cage get revved up and take center stage. The duo faces Aro and Victoria. An intense fight ensues and the two Kombateers are about to gain the upper hand on the vampires when a pumpkin bomb explodes in their midst. The Green Goblin’s bombs knock both Jax and Johnny Cage off their game. The vampires take advantage of this and kill them both. Houslander unleashes his fury upon Glass Joe and slices him in half with his devil lance.
Houslander: HELL’S YEAH!!!
Silver Surfer flies by and picks up Houslander. Blue Lantern #2 joins them in the air.
Desert Region. . .
Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Crasher, Zombie Overkill, (movie) Ravage, Decepticons #1 and 3, Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2, and Go-Bots #1 and 2 fight Superwoman, Silver Surfer, Nick Houslander, Prometheus, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Lyra-the She Hulk, Red She Hulk and Skaar, Son of Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber).
The Cybertronian cat-like beast pounces on Red She Hulk. Ravage lashes out and pins the woman warrior to the ground. Skaar and Cosmic Hulk Robot join the fray and use all of their brute strength to rip off Ravage’s head. Before a wounded Red She Hulk can gain her composure, she is struck by both BL Squawk Talk and BL Beast Box. The BL Transformers pound her to a pulp. Silver Surfer enters the fray and uses the power cosmic to rip apart both BL Squawk Talk and BL Beast Box.
Nick Houslander stands with Prometheus. (movie) Laserbeak jettisons from Soundwave and focuses on the Greek Titan. Prometheus momentarily freezes. Prometheus remembers how he was once bound to a rock with an eagle tearing out his liver over and over and over again. The hesitation is more than enough time for Laserbeak to tear into Prometheus’s stomach. He suffers the same fate again as his liver is seen dangling from his body. Prometheus falls to the ground and dies. Its task completed, Laserbeak, once again, joins Soundwave in the air.
Houslander knocks into the Go-Bots.
Houslander (ignites his lightsaber): Ripoffs!!!
Go-Bots #1 and 2, in robot form, with Crasher, race after Houslander. Houslander ducks under Lyra’s legs and a battle ensues between Lyra and Go-Bots #1 and 2. Cosmic Hulk joins the fight. The combined efforts of the hulking duo manage to destroy the Go-Bots and Crasher.
Zombie Overkill is in a heated battle with Skaar. The robotic dinosaur engulfs the Son of Hulk in its mouth. The green lightsaber is not enough to defeat Zombie Overkill and the great beast rips Skaar apart. In response, Cosmic Hulk, Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra and Silver Surfer, join forces and destroy Zombie Overkill.
Decepticons #1 and 3 and Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2 face off against the exceptionally powerful Cosmic Hulk, Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra and Silver Surfer. In the end, Decepticon #3 and Decepticon Decoys #1 and 2 are destroyed. A mortally destroyed Decepticon #1 lies in the sand. The Cybertronian looks up and sees Houslander, wielding both his lightsaber and devil lance. He deals the final blow to Decepticon #1, who shuts down forever.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!!
Superwoman, Silver Surfer with Houslander and Blue Lantern #2 fly up into the air.
Air Region. . .
A furious battle occurs between the two teams in the air. Dash Rendar, Leebo, Beavis (w/ Rob Bartlett's old halberd and hockey stick), Butthead (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) and Buttchunk fly in an Imperial Shuttle; Young Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lantern ring and a blue lightsaber) commands a Tie Interceptor; Peppy Hare (w/ Darth Maul's old double red lightsaber) commands a Tie Interceptor; and James McLeod also flies in a Tie Interceptor. The pilots fight against Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Silver Surfer and Nick Houslander, Zeus, John Stewart, Athena with an indigo lantern ring and Droid Fighter Ships #3-8.
Droid Fighter Ships #3-8 are easily outmaneuvered and outmanned by the combined skills of the Tie Interceptor Trio of Skywalker, O’Hare and McLeod. All Droid Fighter ships are destroyed.
Blue Lantern #2 focuses on Young Anakin Skywalker.
Young Anakin Skywalker: This is tense!
Skywalker’s Tie Interceptor barrages Blue Lantern #2 with its laser fire. Blue Lantern #2 uses his ring for protection against Skywalker’s weaponry. Blue Lantern #2 then projects blue constructs at the Interceptor. As Skywalker avoids the projectiles, he is hit by Zeus’s lightning. Skywalker jettisons from the vehicle and flies away using his lantern ring. He ignites his lightsaber and faces Blue Lantern #2. John Stewart knocks Skywalker off his game. The mid-chloridianed child is then killed by Blue Lantern #2.
Blue Lantern #2: You never stood a chance youngling against a true lantern. . .
Blue Lantern, while focused on Skywalker’s death, is blown out of the sky by the Imperial Shuttle piloted by Dash Rendar, Leebo, Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk. Zeus and Athena rip off the Imperial Shuttle’s door. The air rushes out of the ship, but Rendar manages to hold it steady. Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk focus on Athena, thinking that the goddess would be the easiest and “hottest” prey.
Beavis: Hey! Hey! You’re hot! All draped up in robes and stuff! Toga!!! Toga!!!!
Butthead: Heheheheheh. Yeah. Toga! Toga!
Athena: Toga this morons!
Athena takes her spear and skewers Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk before they are able to use their weapons. Zeus then infuses the entire ship with lightning. Leebo overloads and his circuitry explodes. Rendar jumps out with a parachute. Silver Surfer races by with Houslander in tow. Houslander uses his lightsaber to slice Rendar in half.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
Superwoman focuses on James McLeod’s Tie Interceptor. Although McLeod is a superior pilot, his skills are not enough to avoid Superwoman’s powers. McLeod and his Interceptor are destroyed.
Peppy Hare flies away and his ship suddenly stops mid flight. It is being held in place by John Stewart’s green lantern ring. The tie interceptor is struck by Superwoman, Zeus, and Athena at the same time. Hare is destroyed with his ship.
The remaining combatants fly away to the city.
City Region-Final Battle. . .
The entire remaining teams face each other. The Valleyites- Cosmic Spider-Man, Soundwave, w/ (movie) Laserbeak, Black Lantern Rob Bartlett, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Bucky O'Hare (w/ a green lightsaber), Deadeye Duck (w/ a red lightsaber), Bruiser (w/ a red lightsaber), Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie, (Head Coach) Commander Dogstar, Kree Soldiers #7-18, Splinter, Venus Demilo, Lakitu, Hank Chien, Charlie (from Masters of the Universe), Giant Hammer Bros. #5, 6-10, Fire Bros. #7-10, Raiden w/ Kid Thunder, Sub-Zero, Mr. Game and Watch, Bran, Kid Chameleon, Game Boy, Wart, Mappy, Homer Simpson and Balrog #5 against Superwoman, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a blue lantern ring), John Stewart, Blackfire, Athena (w/ an indigo lantern ring), Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance), Bear (w/ a green lightsaber and a demon rod), House M.D., The Volturi: Aro (w/ a red lightsaber), Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Lady Voltari, Jool Nooret, Jacen Solo, Sleepwalker, Deathblow, Spikor, Lyra: The She-Hulk, Batwoman, Captain Panaka, Titanium Man, Gen. Ulysses S. Grant (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Titanium Man and Green Goblin.
In an unprecedented event Cosmic Spiderman and Cosmic Hulk Robot race toward each other at supersonic speed. The cosmic duo has overloaded their powers, anticipating that each would destroy the other. The immensity of the cosmic explosion that destroys both Cosmic Spiderman and Cosmic Hulk Robot in the process and resulting from their mutual overloads devastates the entire cityscape. . . and kills a substantial majority of the remaining combatants. From the Valleyites- Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, AFC Blinkie, Commander Dogstar, Kree Soldiers #7-18, Splinter, Lakitu, Hank Chien, Charlie, Giant Hammer Bros. #7-10, Fire Bros. #7-10, Mr. Game and Watch, Bran, Kid Chameleon, Game Boy, Wart and Mappy perish. With them, from the Wingers die House M.D., Jool Nooret, Deathblow, Spikor, Batwoman, Sleepwalker, Lady Voltari, Captain Panaka, Ulysses S. Grant and Green Goblin.
From the wreckage, lightsabers are ignited and wielded by the combatants. Bucky O'Hare holds his green lightsaber and both Deadeye Duck and Bruiser hold their red lightsabers. In defiance, Houslander holds his blue lightsaber and devil lance, Bear holds a green lightsaber, Aro holds a red lightsaber, Victoria holds a red lightsaber and Jacen Solo holds his lightsaber.
Bear (to his opponents): Oooh! You have that I-smell-like-I-cr*pped-my-pants-smell!
This infuriates O’Hare and Duck, who both charge Bear. Bear manages to hold his own for a short time due to his dual weapons, but ultimately dies at the duo’s blades. Although they kill Bear, they are no match for the remaining lightsaber wielding Wingers. At the end of the fracas, Deadeye Duck, Bucky O’Hare, Bruiser all lie dead. Balrog #5 then bursts from underneath the street. The immense chain and flaming sword of the fiery beast destroy Aro, Jacen Solo and Victoria. Superwoman, Silver Surfer, Zeus, Blackfire, Athena, Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot and Lyra: The She-Hulk, join forces and destroy Balrog #5.
Giant Hammer Bros. #5 and 6, Raiden, Kid Thunder and Sub-Zero face Houslander, Flash, John Stewart, Blackfire and Athena. Giant Hammer Bros. #5 and 6 throw their hammers at their enemies. Blackfire uses her energy projections and strength to destroy the projectiles. Athena then uses her indigo lantern ring to form a spear and kills Giant Hammer Bros. #5. John Stewart follows suit and uses his ring to form a green spear which skewers Giant Hammer Bros. #6. Subzero uses his powers to freeze John Stewart so that his blood actually freezes inside his body; Stewart dies. Flash is too quick for Subzero and a speed-induced, well placed vortex spins him over to Blackfire, who kills him. Raiden and Kid Thunder combine their powers and focus on Athena. The lightning rips through Athena and kills her. In return, Zeus soars to the scene and rips through both Raiden and Kid Thunder. Houslander makes sure that the duo are dead and rushes over to slice their heads off with his devil lance.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
Houslander then notices Homer Simpson walking from the wreckage of a building with Venus Demilo. He will make Demilo his! Houslander rushes over to Simpson.
Simpson: Please don’t hurt me! I have a wife and kids! Hurt her!
Houslander slices Simpson in half. Demilo walks over to Houslander.
Demilo: Come with me. Come to the Syracuse Valley. Join us.
Houslander: No b**ch is going to tell me what to do! HELLS’YEAH!!
With his war cry, Houslander ignites his lightsaber and slices her in half too.
Soundwave, Laserbeak, Black Lantern Rob Bartlett, (movie) Megatron and (movie) Starscream face Superwoman, Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a blue lantern ring), Blackfire, Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Lyra and Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance).
BL Rob Bartlett is decimated by BL She-Hulk. Laserbeak catches Flash and kills him, but is then destroyed by BL Six-Shot. Soundwave manages to destroy Blackfire, but is destroyed by Superwoman, BL She-Hulk and Silver Surfer. Zeus riddles Starscream with lightning while Silver Surfer performs the coup-de-grace and wields the power cosmic to destroy the Decepticon. Megatron is not going out without a fight. In a pitched and furious battle, he destroys BL She-Hulk, Lyra, Zeus and then BL Six-Shot. Although damaged beyond repair, he still defiantly faces Silver Surfer and Superwoman.
Houslander rides with the Surfer on his cosmic board.
Surfer: Would you like the honor?
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
Surfer and Superwoman hit Megatron at the same time and devastate the Decepticon. As Megatron crumples to the ground, Houslander uses both his devil lance and lightsaber to cut out Megatron’s eye. Houslander holds the piece in his hand, triumphantly.
Houslander: HELLS’YEAH!!!
The Right Wing: Superwoman, Silver Surfer and Nick Houslander survive.
The Syracuse Valley: All dead.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
Week Six: The Transfoamers vs Tijuana Taco Benders
“You can't kick me out of Coon & Friends, I'm the f**cking Coon!”
-The Coon
Reality. . .
Bryatu: Five.
TTB Owner: Three.
Bryatu: What you fail to recognize Mr. Hernandez is that this is not a negotiation. Five.
TTB Owner (dejectedly): Five special guest appearances on “Groudy.” Agreed. Your other demand?
Bryatu: Let me make myself perfectly clear; this is not a ‘demand’ per se Mr. Hernandez. It is simply a request that must be met in order to allow you the opportunity to provide a team for the current match since you failed to submit same timely.
TTB Owner: That being. . .
Bryatu: I would like for Likolas to dress up as a dirty clown and Squirrel to dress up as a diapered baby during my “Groudy” appearances.
TTB Owner: Dirty clown? Diapered baby?
Bryatu: They’ll know.
TTB Owner: I may have to slip something into their drinks beforehand, but I’ll get it done.
Bryatu: I’m sure you will Mr. Hernandez. I’m sure you will. With that said. . .
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 6 Match located on the Playoff Planet. They are as follows:
The Transfoamers: Voltron, Zooti Frugan, B.L. Darth Bane, B.L. Darth Rave, The Losers: Clay, Aisha, Jenson, Roque, Cougar, The Expendables: Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Yin Yang, Toll Road, Gunner Jenson and James Munroe, Zam Wessel, Jedi Masters #9, 29, 34, 35 and 50A, Dark Side Adepts #7-12, Purple Dragons #15-19, The Fallen, Autobots #1-5, Transformers #1-10, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee, (movie) Sideways, (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids and Darko Milicic.
The Tijuana Taco Benders: Coon and Friends: The Coon, Mysterion, Mint Berry Crunch, Human Kite, Toolshed, Tupperware, Iron Maiden and Mosquito, The Revanchist, Daredevil, Lady Deathstrike, Kid Deadpool, Cyberforce: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact, Lavos, Justice Force: Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang, Thunderbolts: Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Mister X and Headsman, The Ninja Tribunal: Kon-Shisho, Juto-Shisho, Chikara-Shisho and Hisomi-Shisho.
Let the battle begin. . .
City Region-Street Level. . .
The Coon, Mysterion, Mint Berry Crunch, Human Kite, Toolshed, Tupperware, Iron Maiden and Mosquito see Darko Milicic walking the streets in a Minnesota Timberwolves uniform. Coon steps in front of his Friends and looks at Milicic.
Coon: I bet you’re saying to yourself: Should I admit I was wrong, ask for everyone's forgiveness and go back to my original team? Nah, screw that, I'm just gonna keep being a d**k.
The Serbian basketball player rushes at the younglings and reaches Mysterion. Milicic grabs Mysterion and breaks his neck.
Toolshed: Oh my G-d, Darko Milicic killed Mysterion!
Human Kite: You bastard!
In response to Mysterion’s death, Coon and Friends swarm Milicic. The South Park entourage manages to kill the once-highly-touted-and-top-NBA-draftpick-turned-thorough-disappointment.
Coon: We have done good today my Friends. We have done good!
The heroes turn and see Mysterion; he is alive.
Coon: What the f**k?!?!
Forest Region. . .
The stealthy Expendables: Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Yin Yang, Toll Road, Gunner Jenson and James Munroe move along the forest floor. Ahead, they see the Thunderbolts: Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Mister X and Headsman. The mercenaries know that they are at a disadvantage, but the have faced similar odds before.
Songbird: Drop your guns!
Lee Christmas: Fat chance.
Barney Ross: Why do they always say that?
The mercenaries scatter. James Munroe turns to see the Headsman flying at him on a disc-shaped hovercraft. Munroe repeatedly fires his weapon to no avail as Headsman dodges same. Munroe’s head is lopped off by Headsman’s axe. In response, both Barney Ross and Lee Christmas fire at Headsman. The barrage of bullets is too much and Headsman crumples. His hovercraft flies his dead body away from the fracas. Yin Yang battles Mister X, who uses his telepathic abilities to predict the fighting moves of Yang. The combination of Mister X’s skills and psionic powers is sufficient for Mister X to defeat and kill Yang. Songbird generates her high-pitched sonic scream of varying notes toward the Expendables. Her C note causes Toll Road to begin to visually hallucinate, thinking that the trees are coming alive. Toll Road believes a branch is coming to shake his hand. The branch is actually the blade of Swordsman, who skewers Toll Road. Songbird’s E note causes Gunner Jenson to suffer from dizziness and vertigo. Radioactive Man then emits radiation, causing Jenson to suffer from additional nausea and dizziness. Jenson falls to his knees and Swordsman shoots a grappling hook-like projectile at Jenson, killing him. While focused on Jenson, both Ross and Christmas unload their weaponry into Radioactive Man and kill him. Songbird then sings an A note, causing blindness in both Ross and Christmas. The two have each other’s backs and fire wildly at their enemies. She then sings a B which causes euphoria in the remaining Expendables. The two begin to giggle and dance with each other. Mister X kills Christmas. Swordsman kills Ross.
Desert Region. . .
The wind blows across the faces of Dark Side Adepts #7-12. They walk across the hot sands, attempting to sense their prey. The Ninja Tribunal consisting of Kon-Shisho, Juto-Shisho and Chikara-Shisho emerge from the sandstorm, weapons drawn. Juto-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of weapons, slices through Dark Side Adepts #8 and 10. Kon-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of spirit, kills Dark Side Adept #9 and Chikara-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of strength, kills Dark Side Adept #12. Hisomi-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of stealth, bursts from the sand below and skewers Dark Side Adepts #7 and 11. The battle is over before it began. The Ninja Tribunal’s knowledge of the mystic arts allows them to outperform their Force sensitive enemies.
City Region-Underground. . .
The Losers: Clay, Aisha, Jensen and Roque face The Justice Force: Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang. Against the odds, Jensen steps in front of the Losers.
Jensen: I'm warning you, I am a lethal killing machine. It was a secret government experiment. They did stuff to me. Spooky stuff... Anal stuff. It turned me into a dangerous telekinetic. As the ancient Tibetan Philosophy states "Don't start none, won't be none!"
Jensen points his fingers at the Justice Force. They laugh. The Batman-like vigilante, Nobody, is shot in the chest and falls down, dead. Jensen then points to Nano. Nano is shot in the chest and falls down, destroyed. Boomerang spots where the shots are coming from-not from Jensen, but from Cougar who is lying on a pipe behind Jensen. Boomerang throws his projectile at Cougar and knocks him off the pipe, into the murky waters below. Cougar rises from the sewage and Raptarr is upon him in moments. Raptarr’s clawed feet rip off Cougar’s face. Green Mantle flies over to Jensen and transforms his cape into a weapon. Jensen is killed. Clay, Aisha and Roque have their backs to each other and repeatedly fire and then reload their weapons. Metal Head is killed in the melee. Tsunami controls the waters around the trio and blinds the mercenaries with the dirty liquid. Silver Sentry, Ananda, Chrysalis, Raptarr, Green Mantle and Boomerang finish the blinded trio off. The remaining Justice Force members rise from the sewer to the city’s street level.
Swamp Region. . .
Zooti Frugan faces the Revanchist.
Frugan: Revanchist, I am the founder of the Dark Jedi. You are nothing to me and shall be easily disposed of.
Revanchist: Talk is fruitless, Frugan! Let us see!
A pitched battle occurs between the two. Frugan gains the upper hand and is about to kill Revanchist. As he is about to complete his death blow upon Revanchist a shot is heard. Frugan looks down to see a burn mark through his chest. He looks up and sees Kid Deadpool.
Revanchist: How embarrassing. . . The great Zooti Frugan- killed by a mere boy.
Frugan falls face down in the swampy waters. BL Darth Bane and BL Darth Rave fly upon the scene. Their black lantern and lightsaber prowess easily dispose of both Revanchist and Kid Deadpool. The duo’s victory over Frugan is short lived.
City Region- Building top 1604. . .
Zam Wessel leads Jedi Masters #9, 29, 34, 35 and 50A. They run into Cyberforce: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact on building top 1604. Ballistic picks up a piece of broken metal lying on the ground and uses her superhuman hand-to-eye coordination. The projectile soars at Jedi Master #9, who uses the Force to push it away. While focused on Ballistic’s projectile, Cyblade generates blades of electromagnetic energy from her fingers and throws them at Jedi Master #9. Jedi Master #9 is killed. Heatwave focuses his forced beam of super-heated sub-atomic particle plasma at Jedi Master #34. Jedi Master #34 deflects the plasma back at Heatwave and kills him. In response, Velocity races next to Jedi Master #34 and whips him into Impact. The large mutant crushes Jedi Master #34’s head. Zam Wessel blows her poisoned dart at Impact and the behemoth falls to the ground. Wessel unloads a couple shots into his body and wounds the giant. Ripclaw charges at Jedi Masters #29 and 35 and uses his claws to gut Jedi Master #29, although is killed by Jedi Master #35 in the process. Stryker finishes the mortally wounded Jedi Master #29. Wessel and Jedi Masters #35 and 50A make a stand against Stryker, Cyblade, Ballistic, Velocity and Impact. At the loss of Stryker to Cyberforce, Wessel and Jedi Masters #35 and 50A die in their attempts to kill the remaining cybernetic mutants.
Air Region. . .
Purple Dragons #15-19 fly in a standard V formation. They are confronted by four dragons. The four beasts are actually the astral avatars of the Ninja Tribunal. Each Purple Dragon manifests its own version of its breath abilities. Purple Dragons #15 and 16 release a cone of searing energy. Purple Dragons #17 and 18 release a burst of blinding power. Purple Dragon #19 releases a deadly blade of pure energy. Due to the fact that the Ninjitsu’s dragons are mystical astral projections, all of the Purple Dragon’s blasts prove fruitless. In response, the Ninjas manipulate the energies around all and completely fry the tangible beasts. Purple Dragons #15-19 fry, die and fall to the ground below.
City Region-Street Level. . . The Final Battle
The robotic namesakes of the Transfoamers team come together- Voltron, the Fallen, Autobots #1-5, Transformers #1-10, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee, (movie) Sideways, (movie) Mudflap and (movie) Skids arrive and join B.L. Darth Bane and B.L. Darth Rave. A few of the characters transform and blend into the city’s landscape. The team faces a formidable and only-somewhat depleted Bender team of Coon and Friends: The Coon, Mysterion, Mint Berry Crunch, Human Kite, Toolshed, Tupperware, Iron Maiden and Mosquito, Daredevil, Lady Deathstrike, Cyberforce: Cyblade, Velocity, Ballistic and Impact, Lavos, Justice Force: Silver Sentry, Ananda, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang; Thunderbolts: Songbird, Swordsman and Mister X; Kon-Shisho, Juto-Shisho, Chikara-Shisho and Hisomi-Shisho.
Cyberforce and Justice Force walk the streets, passing cautiously by the parked vehicles.
Skids: This is what's called blending in, like a ninja...
Mudflap: Shut up or I'll blend my fist in your face!
Justice Force instantly reacts to the ghetto Transformers. Before they are able to transform, Silver Sentry uses all of his strength to crush Mudflap’s front/head. The remaining Justice Force members join their teammate, and using all of their combined powers, destroy Mudflap. In response to his homeboy’s destruction, Skids begins to transform into his robot mode. Cyberforce responds and manages to destroy Skids, losing Velocity in the fray.
BL Darth Bane and BL Darth Rave fight against Lady Deathstrike, Lavos and Daredevil. Although the Benders admirably fight the BL duo, they are no match for the two and succumb to their eventual deaths. The remaining Thunderbolts come to the scene and Songbird unleashes solid sound constructs at the Black Lanterns. The Black Lanterns return the favor and focus on Songbird. While distracted, the remaining Thunderbolts use their combined powers to destroy BL Darth Bane and BL Darth Rave.
Vehicles speed to the fray; they are (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee and (movie) Sideways. They are met by the full force of the Thunderbolts, Coon and Friends, Ninja Tribunal and Justice Force. The non-stop, action packed scene cannot be described except for noting the massive amounts of death and destruction that follow. In the end the smoke clears, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee and (movie) Sideways are destroyed, but at the Benders’ team expense of Boomerang, Ballistic, Ananda, Raptarr and Chrysalis.
Voltron and the Fallen lead Autobots #1-5 and Transformers #1-10 against the remaining Benders.
The Coon: This is total b*llsh*t! Too. . . many. . . f**kin’ robots!
At the end of the scene, miraculously, the Benders have destroyed Autobots #1-5 and Transformers #1-10. . . but all on the Bender team have died.
Voltron looks to the Fallen. They then look to see a small human rising from the rubble.
Mysterion: I live. . . .again.
The Fallen: But not for purposes of this match puny boy!
The Fallen and Voltron both step on Mysterion at the same time. Mysterion is utterly crushed and dies. . . for now.
The Transfoamers: Voltron and The Fallen survive.
The Tijuana Taco Benders: All dead.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Reality. . .
TTB Owner: What the heck?!?! I gave you five ‘Groudy’ appearances and agreed to dress up both Likolas and Squirrel in ridiculous costumes and I lost!?! What the heck!!!
Bryatu: You may not have won Mr. Hernandez, but you gained something even more special.
TTB Owner: What’s that?
Bryatu: One free legal consultation regarding any traffic offense you may obtain in the future.
TTB Owner has a look of disbelief on his face. He walks off, uttering underneath his breath: Take your “ Bryatu Watcherdom,” ‘Groudy’ appearances and free consultation and shove them up you’re a$$. . . .
-The Coon
Reality. . .
Bryatu: Five.
TTB Owner: Three.
Bryatu: What you fail to recognize Mr. Hernandez is that this is not a negotiation. Five.
TTB Owner (dejectedly): Five special guest appearances on “Groudy.” Agreed. Your other demand?
Bryatu: Let me make myself perfectly clear; this is not a ‘demand’ per se Mr. Hernandez. It is simply a request that must be met in order to allow you the opportunity to provide a team for the current match since you failed to submit same timely.
TTB Owner: That being. . .
Bryatu: I would like for Likolas to dress up as a dirty clown and Squirrel to dress up as a diapered baby during my “Groudy” appearances.
TTB Owner: Dirty clown? Diapered baby?
Bryatu: They’ll know.
TTB Owner: I may have to slip something into their drinks beforehand, but I’ll get it done.
Bryatu: I’m sure you will Mr. Hernandez. I’m sure you will. With that said. . .
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 6 Match located on the Playoff Planet. They are as follows:
The Transfoamers: Voltron, Zooti Frugan, B.L. Darth Bane, B.L. Darth Rave, The Losers: Clay, Aisha, Jenson, Roque, Cougar, The Expendables: Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Yin Yang, Toll Road, Gunner Jenson and James Munroe, Zam Wessel, Jedi Masters #9, 29, 34, 35 and 50A, Dark Side Adepts #7-12, Purple Dragons #15-19, The Fallen, Autobots #1-5, Transformers #1-10, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee, (movie) Sideways, (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids and Darko Milicic.
The Tijuana Taco Benders: Coon and Friends: The Coon, Mysterion, Mint Berry Crunch, Human Kite, Toolshed, Tupperware, Iron Maiden and Mosquito, The Revanchist, Daredevil, Lady Deathstrike, Kid Deadpool, Cyberforce: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact, Lavos, Justice Force: Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang, Thunderbolts: Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Mister X and Headsman, The Ninja Tribunal: Kon-Shisho, Juto-Shisho, Chikara-Shisho and Hisomi-Shisho.
Let the battle begin. . .
City Region-Street Level. . .
The Coon, Mysterion, Mint Berry Crunch, Human Kite, Toolshed, Tupperware, Iron Maiden and Mosquito see Darko Milicic walking the streets in a Minnesota Timberwolves uniform. Coon steps in front of his Friends and looks at Milicic.
Coon: I bet you’re saying to yourself: Should I admit I was wrong, ask for everyone's forgiveness and go back to my original team? Nah, screw that, I'm just gonna keep being a d**k.
The Serbian basketball player rushes at the younglings and reaches Mysterion. Milicic grabs Mysterion and breaks his neck.
Toolshed: Oh my G-d, Darko Milicic killed Mysterion!
Human Kite: You bastard!
In response to Mysterion’s death, Coon and Friends swarm Milicic. The South Park entourage manages to kill the once-highly-touted-and-top-NBA-draftpick-turned-thorough-disappointment.
Coon: We have done good today my Friends. We have done good!
The heroes turn and see Mysterion; he is alive.
Coon: What the f**k?!?!
Forest Region. . .
The stealthy Expendables: Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Yin Yang, Toll Road, Gunner Jenson and James Munroe move along the forest floor. Ahead, they see the Thunderbolts: Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Mister X and Headsman. The mercenaries know that they are at a disadvantage, but the have faced similar odds before.
Songbird: Drop your guns!
Lee Christmas: Fat chance.
Barney Ross: Why do they always say that?
The mercenaries scatter. James Munroe turns to see the Headsman flying at him on a disc-shaped hovercraft. Munroe repeatedly fires his weapon to no avail as Headsman dodges same. Munroe’s head is lopped off by Headsman’s axe. In response, both Barney Ross and Lee Christmas fire at Headsman. The barrage of bullets is too much and Headsman crumples. His hovercraft flies his dead body away from the fracas. Yin Yang battles Mister X, who uses his telepathic abilities to predict the fighting moves of Yang. The combination of Mister X’s skills and psionic powers is sufficient for Mister X to defeat and kill Yang. Songbird generates her high-pitched sonic scream of varying notes toward the Expendables. Her C note causes Toll Road to begin to visually hallucinate, thinking that the trees are coming alive. Toll Road believes a branch is coming to shake his hand. The branch is actually the blade of Swordsman, who skewers Toll Road. Songbird’s E note causes Gunner Jenson to suffer from dizziness and vertigo. Radioactive Man then emits radiation, causing Jenson to suffer from additional nausea and dizziness. Jenson falls to his knees and Swordsman shoots a grappling hook-like projectile at Jenson, killing him. While focused on Jenson, both Ross and Christmas unload their weaponry into Radioactive Man and kill him. Songbird then sings an A note, causing blindness in both Ross and Christmas. The two have each other’s backs and fire wildly at their enemies. She then sings a B which causes euphoria in the remaining Expendables. The two begin to giggle and dance with each other. Mister X kills Christmas. Swordsman kills Ross.
Desert Region. . .
The wind blows across the faces of Dark Side Adepts #7-12. They walk across the hot sands, attempting to sense their prey. The Ninja Tribunal consisting of Kon-Shisho, Juto-Shisho and Chikara-Shisho emerge from the sandstorm, weapons drawn. Juto-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of weapons, slices through Dark Side Adepts #8 and 10. Kon-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of spirit, kills Dark Side Adept #9 and Chikara-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of strength, kills Dark Side Adept #12. Hisomi-Shisho, Ninjitsu master of stealth, bursts from the sand below and skewers Dark Side Adepts #7 and 11. The battle is over before it began. The Ninja Tribunal’s knowledge of the mystic arts allows them to outperform their Force sensitive enemies.
City Region-Underground. . .
The Losers: Clay, Aisha, Jensen and Roque face The Justice Force: Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang. Against the odds, Jensen steps in front of the Losers.
Jensen: I'm warning you, I am a lethal killing machine. It was a secret government experiment. They did stuff to me. Spooky stuff... Anal stuff. It turned me into a dangerous telekinetic. As the ancient Tibetan Philosophy states "Don't start none, won't be none!"
Jensen points his fingers at the Justice Force. They laugh. The Batman-like vigilante, Nobody, is shot in the chest and falls down, dead. Jensen then points to Nano. Nano is shot in the chest and falls down, destroyed. Boomerang spots where the shots are coming from-not from Jensen, but from Cougar who is lying on a pipe behind Jensen. Boomerang throws his projectile at Cougar and knocks him off the pipe, into the murky waters below. Cougar rises from the sewage and Raptarr is upon him in moments. Raptarr’s clawed feet rip off Cougar’s face. Green Mantle flies over to Jensen and transforms his cape into a weapon. Jensen is killed. Clay, Aisha and Roque have their backs to each other and repeatedly fire and then reload their weapons. Metal Head is killed in the melee. Tsunami controls the waters around the trio and blinds the mercenaries with the dirty liquid. Silver Sentry, Ananda, Chrysalis, Raptarr, Green Mantle and Boomerang finish the blinded trio off. The remaining Justice Force members rise from the sewer to the city’s street level.
Swamp Region. . .
Zooti Frugan faces the Revanchist.
Frugan: Revanchist, I am the founder of the Dark Jedi. You are nothing to me and shall be easily disposed of.
Revanchist: Talk is fruitless, Frugan! Let us see!
A pitched battle occurs between the two. Frugan gains the upper hand and is about to kill Revanchist. As he is about to complete his death blow upon Revanchist a shot is heard. Frugan looks down to see a burn mark through his chest. He looks up and sees Kid Deadpool.
Revanchist: How embarrassing. . . The great Zooti Frugan- killed by a mere boy.
Frugan falls face down in the swampy waters. BL Darth Bane and BL Darth Rave fly upon the scene. Their black lantern and lightsaber prowess easily dispose of both Revanchist and Kid Deadpool. The duo’s victory over Frugan is short lived.
City Region- Building top 1604. . .
Zam Wessel leads Jedi Masters #9, 29, 34, 35 and 50A. They run into Cyberforce: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact on building top 1604. Ballistic picks up a piece of broken metal lying on the ground and uses her superhuman hand-to-eye coordination. The projectile soars at Jedi Master #9, who uses the Force to push it away. While focused on Ballistic’s projectile, Cyblade generates blades of electromagnetic energy from her fingers and throws them at Jedi Master #9. Jedi Master #9 is killed. Heatwave focuses his forced beam of super-heated sub-atomic particle plasma at Jedi Master #34. Jedi Master #34 deflects the plasma back at Heatwave and kills him. In response, Velocity races next to Jedi Master #34 and whips him into Impact. The large mutant crushes Jedi Master #34’s head. Zam Wessel blows her poisoned dart at Impact and the behemoth falls to the ground. Wessel unloads a couple shots into his body and wounds the giant. Ripclaw charges at Jedi Masters #29 and 35 and uses his claws to gut Jedi Master #29, although is killed by Jedi Master #35 in the process. Stryker finishes the mortally wounded Jedi Master #29. Wessel and Jedi Masters #35 and 50A make a stand against Stryker, Cyblade, Ballistic, Velocity and Impact. At the loss of Stryker to Cyberforce, Wessel and Jedi Masters #35 and 50A die in their attempts to kill the remaining cybernetic mutants.
Air Region. . .
Purple Dragons #15-19 fly in a standard V formation. They are confronted by four dragons. The four beasts are actually the astral avatars of the Ninja Tribunal. Each Purple Dragon manifests its own version of its breath abilities. Purple Dragons #15 and 16 release a cone of searing energy. Purple Dragons #17 and 18 release a burst of blinding power. Purple Dragon #19 releases a deadly blade of pure energy. Due to the fact that the Ninjitsu’s dragons are mystical astral projections, all of the Purple Dragon’s blasts prove fruitless. In response, the Ninjas manipulate the energies around all and completely fry the tangible beasts. Purple Dragons #15-19 fry, die and fall to the ground below.
City Region-Street Level. . . The Final Battle
The robotic namesakes of the Transfoamers team come together- Voltron, the Fallen, Autobots #1-5, Transformers #1-10, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee, (movie) Sideways, (movie) Mudflap and (movie) Skids arrive and join B.L. Darth Bane and B.L. Darth Rave. A few of the characters transform and blend into the city’s landscape. The team faces a formidable and only-somewhat depleted Bender team of Coon and Friends: The Coon, Mysterion, Mint Berry Crunch, Human Kite, Toolshed, Tupperware, Iron Maiden and Mosquito, Daredevil, Lady Deathstrike, Cyberforce: Cyblade, Velocity, Ballistic and Impact, Lavos, Justice Force: Silver Sentry, Ananda, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang; Thunderbolts: Songbird, Swordsman and Mister X; Kon-Shisho, Juto-Shisho, Chikara-Shisho and Hisomi-Shisho.
Cyberforce and Justice Force walk the streets, passing cautiously by the parked vehicles.
Skids: This is what's called blending in, like a ninja...
Mudflap: Shut up or I'll blend my fist in your face!
Justice Force instantly reacts to the ghetto Transformers. Before they are able to transform, Silver Sentry uses all of his strength to crush Mudflap’s front/head. The remaining Justice Force members join their teammate, and using all of their combined powers, destroy Mudflap. In response to his homeboy’s destruction, Skids begins to transform into his robot mode. Cyberforce responds and manages to destroy Skids, losing Velocity in the fray.
BL Darth Bane and BL Darth Rave fight against Lady Deathstrike, Lavos and Daredevil. Although the Benders admirably fight the BL duo, they are no match for the two and succumb to their eventual deaths. The remaining Thunderbolts come to the scene and Songbird unleashes solid sound constructs at the Black Lanterns. The Black Lanterns return the favor and focus on Songbird. While distracted, the remaining Thunderbolts use their combined powers to destroy BL Darth Bane and BL Darth Rave.
Vehicles speed to the fray; they are (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee and (movie) Sideways. They are met by the full force of the Thunderbolts, Coon and Friends, Ninja Tribunal and Justice Force. The non-stop, action packed scene cannot be described except for noting the massive amounts of death and destruction that follow. In the end the smoke clears, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee and (movie) Sideways are destroyed, but at the Benders’ team expense of Boomerang, Ballistic, Ananda, Raptarr and Chrysalis.
Voltron and the Fallen lead Autobots #1-5 and Transformers #1-10 against the remaining Benders.
The Coon: This is total b*llsh*t! Too. . . many. . . f**kin’ robots!
At the end of the scene, miraculously, the Benders have destroyed Autobots #1-5 and Transformers #1-10. . . but all on the Bender team have died.
Voltron looks to the Fallen. They then look to see a small human rising from the rubble.
Mysterion: I live. . . .again.
The Fallen: But not for purposes of this match puny boy!
The Fallen and Voltron both step on Mysterion at the same time. Mysterion is utterly crushed and dies. . . for now.
The Transfoamers: Voltron and The Fallen survive.
The Tijuana Taco Benders: All dead.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Reality. . .
TTB Owner: What the heck?!?! I gave you five ‘Groudy’ appearances and agreed to dress up both Likolas and Squirrel in ridiculous costumes and I lost!?! What the heck!!!
Bryatu: You may not have won Mr. Hernandez, but you gained something even more special.
TTB Owner: What’s that?
Bryatu: One free legal consultation regarding any traffic offense you may obtain in the future.
TTB Owner has a look of disbelief on his face. He walks off, uttering underneath his breath: Take your “ Bryatu Watcherdom,” ‘Groudy’ appearances and free consultation and shove them up you’re a$$. . . .
Friday, April 15, 2011
Season 4 Week 6 the Abomitrons vs Alice’s Wonder Team
The Abomitrons are:
Raven –Stryfe –Whizzy -Immell #1 (Chuck Norris & Cyborg Superman) -Immell #2 (Batman & Tim Cheveldae) -Immell #3 (Robin & Bryan Murray) -Immell #4 (Yaddle & Paul Coffey) w/ her Padawan Zachary Houslander -Immell #5 (Steve Yzerman & Captain America) -Immell #6 (Mega Man & Cyborg) -Immell #7 (Joe Levin & Gilleus Thunderhead) -Immell #8 (Shannon Pilkinton & Tyrius Flare) -Immell #9 (Jared Pilkinton & Ax-battler) -Immell #10 (Jedi Knight & Starfire) -Immell #11 (Raven & Jedi Knight) -Immell #12 (Danny Ocean & Malcolm Reynolds) -Immell #13 (Egon & Zoe) -Immell #14 (Timmell & River) -Immell #15 (Winston & Zombie) -Immell #16 (Death Adder & Sledgehammer) -Immell #17 (Elite Clone Trooper & Sebastian the crab) -Immell #18 (Ray & Wookie soldier) -Immell #19 (Zombie & Sandra Bullock) -Immell #20 (Iron Man & Jedi) w/ his padawan Kyle Houslander -Ocean's 11 Crew –Timmell -Iron Monger –Montross -Ben Tennyson -Black Lantern Ms. Marvel -Black Lantern Sunstorm -Spider-Boy -Ultra-Boy -The Fox Football Transformer -The Mountain Dew Transformer -Zombie Jimmy Neutron -Zufa Cenva -Zombie Cyborg –Smaug -The Father, Son, & Daughter of Mortis -Ziro the Hutt -Western Ghost Rider -Banana Man & Pet Crow -Starship Trooper #62-73
Alice's Wonder Team is:
Primus, Q , Q2, Q, Quinn, True Q, Q Representative,The Spectre, Capt. Universe, Black Lantern Bizarro Superman, General Zod, non, Surtur, Zombie Abomination, War Machine, Cera, Roger Rabbit, Jessica Rabbit
Goodbye! Me no am Bizarro. Me is going to keep what happened in this super number 1 best match of the year completely to me. I no am going to tell anyone what happened.
<Get on with it Bizarro! –Goofatu a.k.a. Mikeatu. A.k.a. hurf-durf the FFL retard>
Okie Dokie! Anyway, me was sitting there, Minding own business and then everyone left.
Anyway what happened was boring me sure of it. Me let my greatest enemies tell you when they get back. What happened next is fun part.
So there me was, sitting, minding own business, When this jerk hit me in the back of my head with something. Me turned around to ignore him and he said "Listen pal, here's how this is gonna go, you're going to kill me and all my naked pals here or I'm going to give you what you always wanted."
So of course Me no want what me always wanted, that would be awesome, so I have to kill the jerk and all his pals too! They were already running and screaming at me anyway so it was obvious they want to talk peace! Leaving me alive to be the worst fighter of all time!
*fwash* <Bizarro managed to ignore Immell #13 and 18 sneaking up on him with their proton packs long enough to tell you his story of how he won his fight… and by ignore them, I mean he didn't notice them at all… because he's an idiot. –Mikeatu a.k.a Goofatu, a.k.a. CrossingTheStreamsAtu.>
"Phew… he gone?" said Immell #12. "I may be a bizarre amalgamation of two of the smoothest outlaws in fiction but that was one weird duck…"
"So here's what really happened… Me and the boys (and by boys I mean the other Immells) decided that there's no way we're gettin over on all these cosmic omnipotents in a head on fight."
"So we had Ziro here put out a distress call in the deepest reaches of the desert area of the planet. The Q's (as I've heard them called) can't resist meddling in someone's affairs, even more so when that particular someone is already in a state of distress…"
"The Q's show up expecting to find our entire team there, stuck in a sandpit or some such… and they don't even see us coming. While the Starship Troopers launch an assault on the Q's, the Oceans 11 boys, led by yours truly, sneak up behind them."
"This is the part where it gets tricky… see those Q boys are omnipotent, and they brought along their whole team except for Bizarro, who was confusing even to them... because they knew we had set up an ambush for em."
"What they didn't know, and Couldn't know, because I didn't even know it myself… was that these Oceans boys had no intention of surviving their own ambush."
"See, Basher and Danny knew that their number was nearly up so they sacrificed themselves to the powers of the Q continuum, failing to kill them, but keeping them busy long enough dealing with an ambush on two fronts for the third act to begin."
"Danny had enlisted the Ben Tennyson and the black lanterns to subdue the entirety of Alice's Wonder Team (minus Bizarro of course) while they were being beaten and stabbed and kicked and turned into horrible bleeding things by the all powerful Q's."
"And here's my favorite The Wonder Team comes to, each assuming that another all powerful Q had intervened at the last second and winked the other team out of existence… but before they could react Black Lantern Bizarro pounces, he murders his befuddled brethren and… sistren? Anyway he kills em all."
"Now You may be thinkin.. 'Cap? Why would Bizzaro kill his own team?', Well my friend I'll tell you why. See, the Black Lantern Crew from the Abomitrons had subdued the wonder team and while they were off in dreamland, the whole Abomitrons crew got naked."
"Now now… snap out of it… Immell #4 may look mighty fine in her birthday suit but it ain't polite to linger on such thoughts."
"Ahem… where was I? Oh yeah, the Abomitrons are all in their skivvies, (well they would be if the whole crew hadn't gone commando that day)… and they had put their clothes on to the Wonder Team members. (Let me tell ya, zombie abomination was a tough fit, but we got Immell #19's dress on him by god and I challenge anyone to tell me that he didn't look fantastic)"
"So now that our first trap had gone so well we decided it was about time for trap #2. The wonder team wakes up, and runs back for re-enforcements Shouting for Bizarro to get off his spandex wearing backside and help them…"
"Little did they know I had already prepped Mr. Bizarro for a fight and he was too stupid to notice his friends in his enemies clothing. He went and killed them all, one by one, wearing himself down in the process. And once it was all over, he started jawing at the watcher telling him how he was the winner."
"That's when we sent in those Immell boys with their brown jumpsuits and their proton packs to light him up. I don't know how it worked, and frankly, I don't much care, but crossing those beams and smacking the black lantern weirdo with their combined power seemed to do just the trick, ripping the black energy from him and reducing the physical form left behind to dust."
"Now if you'll excuse me I have some slop to pick through for salvage…"
The Abomitrons Are Victorious!
The brave sacrifice of the Oceans 11 crew will not be forgotten. They have suffered their final deaths leading their team to victory.
Alice's Wonder Team is thoroughly killed with no survivors.
Monday, April 11, 2011
A little fyi...
Due to the sheer scope of this week's matches, We the Watchers, will be taking an extra week to witness these epic battles. So if you are wondering where your match is, need not worry, for they will be coming soon and surely will not disappoint.
Thank you,
Ryatu.
Thank you,
Ryatu.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
week 6- Layander vs The Murderflies
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are: Freddy Kruegar w/ a yellow lantern ring, The Black Racer, Monarch, Judge Dredd, Xenomorph Alien #51, Predator #47, Ramona Flowers w/ a Star Sapphire Ring, Armor, Magnetic Kid, Mother Mae Eye, The Superman Emergency Squad: Don-el, Van-zee, Vitar, & Superman Emergency Squad #1-5, Dark Supergirl, Black Lantern Kilowog, The Silverhawks: Bluegrass, Quicksilver & Tallyhawk, Steelheart & Rayzor, Steelwill & Stronghold, Copper Kid & Mayday, Hotwing & Gyro, Flashback & Backlash, & Moonstriker & Tailspin, Blue Beetle (Dan Garrett), Thunder & Lightning, Robin (Stephanie Brown), Bat-girl (Betty Kain), Hot Spot, Red X (Dick Grayson), Nichol Valdez, The Candy Land Crew: The Gingerbread People #1-3, Mr. Mint w/ a blue lightsaber, Gramma Nut, King Kandy, Jolly, Plumpy, Princess Lolly, Queen Frostine, Lord Licorice w/ a blue lightsaber, & Gloppy the Molasses Monster, Scott Pilgrim w/ A Devil Lance, Wallace Wells, Knives Chau w/ a Demon Rod, Stephen Still, Kim Pine, Head Coach Brady Hoke, Zombie Sonic the Hedgehog, M. Bison, Black Dragon #12, Johnny Rico, Ookla the Mok, Harlequin, Chun Li, Balrog #2, Nateri, Bumblebee, Iggy Koopa, and Speedy
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies is: Sarah Palin, The Groovy Gang: Ted, Val, Patty, Sonny, and Groovy, Bob: Agent of Hydra, Agent X, Lobo, Booster Gold, Sandworm #1, The Wu Tang Clan, John Moses Browning, Michael Weston, Fiona Glenanne, Capt. Caveman, Moon Knight, Teddy Roosevelt, Vincent, The Blair Witch, Squirrels 1-15, Dynomutt the dog wonder. King Leonidas, Starro, Rancor #1, and the Power Rangers: Jason, Billy, Trini, Kimberly and Zack.
"Scott, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean...it seems kinda shady" says Wallace Wells as he follows Scott Pilgrim, Stephen Stills, Knives Chau, Kim Pine and the Silverhawks into the home office of the Murderflies.
"Relax Wallace." replies Scott "I'm Scott Pilgrim. If there's one thing I specialize in it's underhanded moves that seem charming just because I'm such a lovable slacker. Besides, this is like these guy's specialty. Getting offed in their locker room. It's HILARIOUS!"
As Scott breaks into the Murderflies' place, laughing and preparing to slaughter his opponents before they even get a chance to fight, he smells cigar smoke and comes face to face with the Main Man-Lobo.
"Well, lookit what this bastich is tryin' ta pull. Didn't ya get the memo pencilneck? Tryin' ta off us in our own place is tired and hackneyed. Guess the main man'll have to show you what happens to people who don't come up wit they're own ideas."
"Gulp" says Scott Pilgrim as he begins to wet his pants.
"Thanks alot, Scott" growls Kim Pine
"Wait. The Silverhawks!! They can help us take down this maniac!" proclaims Scott, but then he turns around to see the Silverhawks have already fallen under the spell of Starro.
"Heh. This is gonna be fun. Grok you, Scott Pilgrim." laughs Lobo as he and the hypnotized Silverhawks begin to brutally dismember and destroy Scott and his friends is the most disgusting, twisted fashion you can think of before they join the rest of their team on the Playoff Planet.
As Scott Pilgrim and his crew of hipsters are mercilessly pummeled, let's see what's transpired in the actual battle on the Playoff Planet.
Ramona Flowers put forth an astounding effort, capitalizing on the sexual tension between Michael Weston and Fiona to encase the two in a glowing sapphire crystal of love, which was then smashed to bits by Freddy Krueger. She then tried to battle Sarah Palin, but was overwhelmed by the massive amounts of love that Palin has for herself, causing her ring to short out.
"Ok, let's go." says Ramona who rushes to engage Palin in a one on one fight to the death, but forgets that Palin is a bit of a gun enthusiast and ends up getting her head blown off by the former vice-presidential candidate and is sent to the FFL Graveyard as this was Ramona's tenth and final death.
Another Super Orange Kitty who was making the most of their final match before taking a dirt nap, is Gloppy the Molasses Monster who trapped the entire Wu Tang Clan in his her own sticky, gooey 39 Chambers of Death, but unfortunately for Gloppy as he was killing the Ghostface Killah he was consumed by the Murderflies' Sandworm, but the Sandworm has been taken off the board as Gloppy's corpse has sealed the Sandworm's mouth shut, causing it to suffocate on Gloppy's dead body.
Agent X and Bob:Agent of Hydra teamed up to snuff out Nichol Valdez and the entire remaining Candyland Crew. They were then joined by Sarah Palin and John Moses Browning to take on the Kitty Contingent of the Teen Titans, and were able to best Speedy, Bumblebee, Thunder and Lightning before Hot Spot caused all their ammunition to explode and kills the gun happy foursome.
Bat-Girl, Robin, Blue Beetle and Johnny Rico were victim to Khonshu's warrior Moon Knight, who also put a big time beating on Judge Dredd before he was killed by Predator #47.
Dark Supergirl then joins the battle, holding the bottle city of Kandor and is about to unleash the Superman Emergency Squad when suddenly, the bottle disappears.
"What the..?" Supergirl says as suddenly many of her teammates begin disappearing from the Playoff Planet.
"Something is definitely wrong here" says Black Lantern Kilowog, who suddenly sees his black lantern ring disappear and reverts back to life.
"Guess you batiches didn't get the memo, we got us a time traveler on the team." laughs a blood covered Lobo, who appears in front of the stunned Kitties "ole Booster is really earnin' hisself a paycheck today."
The Kitties numbers are dropping at an alarming rate, when suddenly a chill fills the air. Death:The Black Racer zooms onto the field and eradicates all the Murderflies.
Supergirl and Kilowog smile and embrace, thinking they have won a hard fought victory, when they hear Lobo laugh.
"That's a pretty good trick. But ir takes more than a nifty pair o' skis. But the main man's got a little lesson for yez. Time Travel plus mind controlling fish equals turn around."
Supergirl turn and pales as she sees the Black Racer is now under the control of Starro:The Conqueror. The tables are turned on Layander as the see their ultimate ace in the hole turned on them.
After the remaining members of the super orange kitties are out run by the black racer, Starro's pod shrivels and dies freeing him. But it's all for naught as Death is about to regain his bearing, he is vaporized by the late arriving Power Rangers.
Lobo fires up himself a cigar as he is joined by the few surviving Murderflies.
"Man, who would have thought that being late would actually have been an advantage" exclaims Billy "I thought for sure this was my last match!"
"What do you mean?" asks Lobo
"Well, I have nine deaths, and if we'd have gotten here any sooner, that would have probably been it for me."
Suddenly, Lobo shoots Billy in the head. "Should never be proud of being late" growls Lobo. "Next time I may not be in such a good mood."
The Power Rangers stand there speechless as an exhausted Booster Gold appears and goes
"Hey guys, what'd I miss?"
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: All Dead
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies: Lobo, Booster Gold, Power Rangers Jason, Zack, Trini, and Kimberly survive.
BROCK SAMSON'S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies is: Sarah Palin, The Groovy Gang: Ted, Val, Patty, Sonny, and Groovy, Bob: Agent of Hydra, Agent X, Lobo, Booster Gold, Sandworm #1, The Wu Tang Clan, John Moses Browning, Michael Weston, Fiona Glenanne, Capt. Caveman, Moon Knight, Teddy Roosevelt, Vincent, The Blair Witch, Squirrels 1-15, Dynomutt the dog wonder. King Leonidas, Starro, Rancor #1, and the Power Rangers: Jason, Billy, Trini, Kimberly and Zack.
"Scott, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean...it seems kinda shady" says Wallace Wells as he follows Scott Pilgrim, Stephen Stills, Knives Chau, Kim Pine and the Silverhawks into the home office of the Murderflies.
"Relax Wallace." replies Scott "I'm Scott Pilgrim. If there's one thing I specialize in it's underhanded moves that seem charming just because I'm such a lovable slacker. Besides, this is like these guy's specialty. Getting offed in their locker room. It's HILARIOUS!"
As Scott breaks into the Murderflies' place, laughing and preparing to slaughter his opponents before they even get a chance to fight, he smells cigar smoke and comes face to face with the Main Man-Lobo.
"Well, lookit what this bastich is tryin' ta pull. Didn't ya get the memo pencilneck? Tryin' ta off us in our own place is tired and hackneyed. Guess the main man'll have to show you what happens to people who don't come up wit they're own ideas."
"Gulp" says Scott Pilgrim as he begins to wet his pants.
"Thanks alot, Scott" growls Kim Pine
"Wait. The Silverhawks!! They can help us take down this maniac!" proclaims Scott, but then he turns around to see the Silverhawks have already fallen under the spell of Starro.
"Heh. This is gonna be fun. Grok you, Scott Pilgrim." laughs Lobo as he and the hypnotized Silverhawks begin to brutally dismember and destroy Scott and his friends is the most disgusting, twisted fashion you can think of before they join the rest of their team on the Playoff Planet.
As Scott Pilgrim and his crew of hipsters are mercilessly pummeled, let's see what's transpired in the actual battle on the Playoff Planet.
Ramona Flowers put forth an astounding effort, capitalizing on the sexual tension between Michael Weston and Fiona to encase the two in a glowing sapphire crystal of love, which was then smashed to bits by Freddy Krueger. She then tried to battle Sarah Palin, but was overwhelmed by the massive amounts of love that Palin has for herself, causing her ring to short out.
"Ok, let's go." says Ramona who rushes to engage Palin in a one on one fight to the death, but forgets that Palin is a bit of a gun enthusiast and ends up getting her head blown off by the former vice-presidential candidate and is sent to the FFL Graveyard as this was Ramona's tenth and final death.
Another Super Orange Kitty who was making the most of their final match before taking a dirt nap, is Gloppy the Molasses Monster who trapped the entire Wu Tang Clan in his her own sticky, gooey 39 Chambers of Death, but unfortunately for Gloppy as he was killing the Ghostface Killah he was consumed by the Murderflies' Sandworm, but the Sandworm has been taken off the board as Gloppy's corpse has sealed the Sandworm's mouth shut, causing it to suffocate on Gloppy's dead body.
Agent X and Bob:Agent of Hydra teamed up to snuff out Nichol Valdez and the entire remaining Candyland Crew. They were then joined by Sarah Palin and John Moses Browning to take on the Kitty Contingent of the Teen Titans, and were able to best Speedy, Bumblebee, Thunder and Lightning before Hot Spot caused all their ammunition to explode and kills the gun happy foursome.
Bat-Girl, Robin, Blue Beetle and Johnny Rico were victim to Khonshu's warrior Moon Knight, who also put a big time beating on Judge Dredd before he was killed by Predator #47.
Dark Supergirl then joins the battle, holding the bottle city of Kandor and is about to unleash the Superman Emergency Squad when suddenly, the bottle disappears.
"What the..?" Supergirl says as suddenly many of her teammates begin disappearing from the Playoff Planet.
"Something is definitely wrong here" says Black Lantern Kilowog, who suddenly sees his black lantern ring disappear and reverts back to life.
"Guess you batiches didn't get the memo, we got us a time traveler on the team." laughs a blood covered Lobo, who appears in front of the stunned Kitties "ole Booster is really earnin' hisself a paycheck today."
The Kitties numbers are dropping at an alarming rate, when suddenly a chill fills the air. Death:The Black Racer zooms onto the field and eradicates all the Murderflies.
Supergirl and Kilowog smile and embrace, thinking they have won a hard fought victory, when they hear Lobo laugh.
"That's a pretty good trick. But ir takes more than a nifty pair o' skis. But the main man's got a little lesson for yez. Time Travel plus mind controlling fish equals turn around."
Supergirl turn and pales as she sees the Black Racer is now under the control of Starro:The Conqueror. The tables are turned on Layander as the see their ultimate ace in the hole turned on them.
After the remaining members of the super orange kitties are out run by the black racer, Starro's pod shrivels and dies freeing him. But it's all for naught as Death is about to regain his bearing, he is vaporized by the late arriving Power Rangers.
Lobo fires up himself a cigar as he is joined by the few surviving Murderflies.
"Man, who would have thought that being late would actually have been an advantage" exclaims Billy "I thought for sure this was my last match!"
"What do you mean?" asks Lobo
"Well, I have nine deaths, and if we'd have gotten here any sooner, that would have probably been it for me."
Suddenly, Lobo shoots Billy in the head. "Should never be proud of being late" growls Lobo. "Next time I may not be in such a good mood."
The Power Rangers stand there speechless as an exhausted Booster Gold appears and goes
"Hey guys, what'd I miss?"
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: All Dead
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies: Lobo, Booster Gold, Power Rangers Jason, Zack, Trini, and Kimberly survive.
BROCK SAMSON'S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
week 6 B3 vs Teamp Sleeping Pussy
Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches are: Mogo, Ego-the Living Planet, In Betweener with Lord Chaos and Master Order, Living Tribunal, BL Apocalypse, BL Parallax ,Dark Phoenix, Vulcan, Fafnir, Cyclonus, Deadman, Dracula, Brother Blood, Mike Myers, Yendar Platis, Black Dragons #13 and 14, and Green Dragons #15 and 16.
Team Sleeping Pussy are: Planetary: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, Ambrose Chase and The Drummer; Watchmen: Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, Comedian, Ozymandias, Nite Owl II, Captain Metropolis and Silk Spectre II; Minutemen: Nite Owl I, Silk Spectre I, Dollar Bill, Mothman, Silhouette, Young Comedian, Young Captain Metropolis and Hooded Justice; Kang, Banshee, Hanover Fiste, Giant-Man, Den, Deathbird, Thunderbird, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, 7 Female Sentinels, 3 Shield Agents, 5 War Skrulls, Enchantress, Mastermind, Flash (Jay Garrett), Spider-Woman and Zombie Mothra
Dr Manhattan and the Living Tibunal hover above the playoff planet, surveying the battle field.
"You know, you cannot possibly win Manhattan" says the Tibunal
"Perhaps" replies Dr Manhattan "But how can you know for sure?"
"The odds are not in your favor. You battle against two living planets,two beings which can defy death itself, a cosmic entity who is the very synthesis of the concepts of the universe. It's impossible for you to overcome these odds. I know, for I have seen the outcome of this battle in several different realities, and in none are you victorious."
"You have seen several realities, not all realities. Surely there..."
"I know why you protest. You're trying to protect..her. Laurie." smirks the Tribunal
"Laurie has nothing to.."
"Silence. Allow me to ease your mind. Your precious Laurie is able to live long enough to see your foolish attempt to impress her. And indeed it is a sight to behold. Not many are able to cause the destruction of Ego, the Living Planet. But your sacrifice at Ego's core is in vain. For Laurie still perishes. Make no mistake, Manhattan. My squadron does not come out of this battle unscathed. We lose many, but in the end triumph."
"Then why should I even bother to fight, if it's hopeless?" questions Dr Manhattan
"Because, deep down you still have some bit of humanity, and it is that part that will lead you to your inevitable doom. It's ironic, Dr Manhattan, that you shall be the downfall of Ego, yet Ego shall be the downfall of you."
"Then let us have at it"
"As you wish. Best of luck in the future, Dr. Today was just not your day."
Time is reinstated, and the battle goes exactly as the Living Tibunal has foretold.
Team Sleeping Pussy: All dead
Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches: Mogo, The Living Tibunal, The Inbetweener, Black Lantern Parallax and Black Lantern Apocalypse survive.
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
Team Sleeping Pussy are: Planetary: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, Ambrose Chase and The Drummer; Watchmen: Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, Comedian, Ozymandias, Nite Owl II, Captain Metropolis and Silk Spectre II; Minutemen: Nite Owl I, Silk Spectre I, Dollar Bill, Mothman, Silhouette, Young Comedian, Young Captain Metropolis and Hooded Justice; Kang, Banshee, Hanover Fiste, Giant-Man, Den, Deathbird, Thunderbird, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, 7 Female Sentinels, 3 Shield Agents, 5 War Skrulls, Enchantress, Mastermind, Flash (Jay Garrett), Spider-Woman and Zombie Mothra
Dr Manhattan and the Living Tibunal hover above the playoff planet, surveying the battle field.
"You know, you cannot possibly win Manhattan" says the Tibunal
"Perhaps" replies Dr Manhattan "But how can you know for sure?"
"The odds are not in your favor. You battle against two living planets,two beings which can defy death itself, a cosmic entity who is the very synthesis of the concepts of the universe. It's impossible for you to overcome these odds. I know, for I have seen the outcome of this battle in several different realities, and in none are you victorious."
"You have seen several realities, not all realities. Surely there..."
"I know why you protest. You're trying to protect..her. Laurie." smirks the Tribunal
"Laurie has nothing to.."
"Silence. Allow me to ease your mind. Your precious Laurie is able to live long enough to see your foolish attempt to impress her. And indeed it is a sight to behold. Not many are able to cause the destruction of Ego, the Living Planet. But your sacrifice at Ego's core is in vain. For Laurie still perishes. Make no mistake, Manhattan. My squadron does not come out of this battle unscathed. We lose many, but in the end triumph."
"Then why should I even bother to fight, if it's hopeless?" questions Dr Manhattan
"Because, deep down you still have some bit of humanity, and it is that part that will lead you to your inevitable doom. It's ironic, Dr Manhattan, that you shall be the downfall of Ego, yet Ego shall be the downfall of you."
"Then let us have at it"
"As you wish. Best of luck in the future, Dr. Today was just not your day."
Time is reinstated, and the battle goes exactly as the Living Tibunal has foretold.
Team Sleeping Pussy: All dead
Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches: Mogo, The Living Tibunal, The Inbetweener, Black Lantern Parallax and Black Lantern Apocalypse survive.
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
Warning List
The following characters all have 9 deaths:\
The Murderflies
-Agent X
-Billy the Blue Ranger
-Ewok #6
-Bubbles
-Grimlock
-All 5 Technibots
-Starro
-Etrigan the Demon
-Ron Popeil
-Marine #26-31, 36, 71-100
Taco Bendrerz
-none
Commandos
-PFC Spunkmeyer
-PFC VAsquez
-Gungan Soldier #1 & 10
-Mrs. Doubtfire
-Ben Kenobi
-
Midgets
-none
Transfoamers
-Zombie Extinction Alice
-Zombie Soundwave
-Zombie Frenzy
Xavier's
-Slingshot
-Air Raid
-Hun-Grr
-Sinnertwin
-Darth Ocron
-Lurch
Better Than All of You
-Storm Shadow
-Ole Anderson
-Hulk Hogan
-David Dunn
-N.S.-5 #1-5
-Ghost Rider (Jonny Blaze)
-Balsac the Jaws of Death
-Jizmack Da Gusha
-Zombie Venom
-Predator #6-7
Syracuse Valley
-Scooter
-Giant Hammer Bros. #5 & 6
-Xenomorph #97-100
-Dash Rendar
-Leebo
-(movie) Megatron
-(movie) Starscream
-Rayden
-Kid Thunder
-(movie) Ravage
-Decepticon #1
-Navy #62 & 65
-Goomba #7
-Hammer Bros. #4
-Jimmy Lee
-Eggplant Wizard
-Kree #45-50
-Moritani #13-15
Right Wing
-Hulk
-Darth Malack
-Red Sonja
-Elite Storm Trooper #1
-Scrappy-Doo
-Achilles
-Ajax
-Andromeda
-Atalanta
-Cassiopeia
-Delphi
-Hector
-Jason
-Paris
-Perseus
-Prometheus
-Ulysses I
-Ulysses II
Layanders
-IG-88
-Ramona Flowers
-Lord Licorice
-Gloppy
Built Ford Tough
-Power Man
-Keith Mars
-Despotellis
-Jeff Houslander
-Arachnid #1-3
-Mandalorian #6-8
Abomitrons
-Naboo Soldier #2
-Batman
-Robin
-Iron Man
-Cyborg Superman
-Capt. America
-Starfire
-Luigie
-Hancock
-Phineas
-Ferb
-Perry
-Ben 10
-Horribul
-Creb
-Zombie Neo
-Zombie Jimmy Nuetron
-Starship Trooper #62
-all of the Ocean's 11 crew
-Jedi Master #37A
Kennelz
-Divebomb
-Tantrum
-Justin Oblak
-Anakin Skywalker
-Green Lantern #2
Untouchables
-Scavenger
-Onslaught
-Timber Wolf
-Deadpool
Sleeping Pussy
-Jean Grey
-Namor's Griffin
-Beast
-Enchantress
-Vision
-Super Skrull
-War Skrull #1-4
-Skrull #24
-Compy #29-30
-Navy #1
-Female Sentinel #5
Oblivio
-none
Backyardigans
-Doomsday
-Storm Trooper #15
-Dark Side Marauder #13-20
-Green Dragon #26
-White Dragon #13, 16-19
Alice's Wonder Team
-General Zod
-Darth Deez
-Ewok #47
-Sharkticon #11
-Goblin #86-90
Dope Fiends
-none
Logical Genocide
-Shatterstar
-Zombie Tyler Derdon
Horsemen
-Achilles
-Supergirl
-Superboy Prime
TEAM
-Superman
-Mike Sroka
-Jackie Chan
-Hans
-Wimp
-VAnn
-Guntz
- Kokichi
-Balbaroy
-Bario
-Adam
-Bokken
-Willow
-Nathan Storey
-Shaun Poteracki
-Adolf Hitler
-Richard Zacharski
-Valkyrie #7-13, 17
Brigade
-Obi Wan Kenobi
-Gandalf
-Skyfire
-Alan Scott
-Man at Arms
-Teela
-Allia Atreides
-Duncan Idaho Kwisatz Haderach (#12)
-Aragorn
-Atreides Soldier #1
-Skeletor Trooper #2
-All of The Jetsons
-Joe Perry
-Pee Wee Herman
-Pterry
-Droid #3
-Storm Trooper #84-86
Slaves
-Zombie Ki Adi Mundi
-Jason Bourne
-Santa Claus
-Corbin Dallas
-All the reindeer
-Spongebob
-Darth Plaguis
-Connor McLeod
-Martian Manhunter
The Murderflies
-Agent X
-Billy the Blue Ranger
-Ewok #6
-Bubbles
-Grimlock
-All 5 Technibots
-Starro
-Etrigan the Demon
-Ron Popeil
-Marine #26-31, 36, 71-100
Taco Bendrerz
-none
Commandos
-PFC Spunkmeyer
-PFC VAsquez
-Gungan Soldier #1 & 10
-Mrs. Doubtfire
-Ben Kenobi
-
Midgets
-none
Transfoamers
-Zombie Extinction Alice
-Zombie Soundwave
-Zombie Frenzy
Xavier's
-Slingshot
-Air Raid
-Hun-Grr
-Sinnertwin
-Darth Ocron
-Lurch
Better Than All of You
-Storm Shadow
-Ole Anderson
-Hulk Hogan
-David Dunn
-N.S.-5 #1-5
-Ghost Rider (Jonny Blaze)
-Balsac the Jaws of Death
-Jizmack Da Gusha
-Zombie Venom
-Predator #6-7
Syracuse Valley
-Scooter
-Giant Hammer Bros. #5 & 6
-Xenomorph #97-100
-Dash Rendar
-Leebo
-(movie) Megatron
-(movie) Starscream
-Rayden
-Kid Thunder
-(movie) Ravage
-Decepticon #1
-Navy #62 & 65
-Goomba #7
-Hammer Bros. #4
-Jimmy Lee
-Eggplant Wizard
-Kree #45-50
-Moritani #13-15
Right Wing
-Hulk
-Darth Malack
-Red Sonja
-Elite Storm Trooper #1
-Scrappy-Doo
-Achilles
-Ajax
-Andromeda
-Atalanta
-Cassiopeia
-Delphi
-Hector
-Jason
-Paris
-Perseus
-Prometheus
-Ulysses I
-Ulysses II
Layanders
-IG-88
-Ramona Flowers
-Lord Licorice
-Gloppy
Built Ford Tough
-Power Man
-Keith Mars
-Despotellis
-Jeff Houslander
-Arachnid #1-3
-Mandalorian #6-8
Abomitrons
-Naboo Soldier #2
-Batman
-Robin
-Iron Man
-Cyborg Superman
-Capt. America
-Starfire
-Luigie
-Hancock
-Phineas
-Ferb
-Perry
-Ben 10
-Horribul
-Creb
-Zombie Neo
-Zombie Jimmy Nuetron
-Starship Trooper #62
-all of the Ocean's 11 crew
-Jedi Master #37A
Kennelz
-Divebomb
-Tantrum
-Justin Oblak
-Anakin Skywalker
-Green Lantern #2
Untouchables
-Scavenger
-Onslaught
-Timber Wolf
-Deadpool
Sleeping Pussy
-Jean Grey
-Namor's Griffin
-Beast
-Enchantress
-Vision
-Super Skrull
-War Skrull #1-4
-Skrull #24
-Compy #29-30
-Navy #1
-Female Sentinel #5
Oblivio
-none
Backyardigans
-Doomsday
-Storm Trooper #15
-Dark Side Marauder #13-20
-Green Dragon #26
-White Dragon #13, 16-19
Alice's Wonder Team
-General Zod
-Darth Deez
-Ewok #47
-Sharkticon #11
-Goblin #86-90
Dope Fiends
-none
Logical Genocide
-Shatterstar
-Zombie Tyler Derdon
Horsemen
-Achilles
-Supergirl
-Superboy Prime
TEAM
-Superman
-Mike Sroka
-Jackie Chan
-Hans
-Wimp
-VAnn
-Guntz
- Kokichi
-Balbaroy
-Bario
-Adam
-Bokken
-Willow
-Nathan Storey
-Shaun Poteracki
-Adolf Hitler
-Richard Zacharski
-Valkyrie #7-13, 17
Brigade
-Obi Wan Kenobi
-Gandalf
-Skyfire
-Alan Scott
-Man at Arms
-Teela
-Allia Atreides
-Duncan Idaho Kwisatz Haderach (#12)
-Aragorn
-Atreides Soldier #1
-Skeletor Trooper #2
-All of The Jetsons
-Joe Perry
-Pee Wee Herman
-Pterry
-Droid #3
-Storm Trooper #84-86
Slaves
-Zombie Ki Adi Mundi
-Jason Bourne
-Santa Claus
-Corbin Dallas
-All the reindeer
-Spongebob
-Darth Plaguis
-Connor McLeod
-Martian Manhunter
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Attention all National Leaguers
-Josh
Monday, April 4, 2011
season 4 Week 5: Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Oblivio
Griffin’s Dope Fiends are:
Ultra Magnus ,Techno destructo, Bozzo destructo, Bonesnapper, Cardinal sin, Jewcifer, Zog, Gor Gor ,Johnny rotten in an imperial shuttle, Nightmare (w/ yellow power ring),Eeth Koth, Kingdom Come Superman , Predator #49, Terminator #39, Xenomorph #53, Caira the Old strong, Atlas, Magik, Yondu, Yellow jacket, Maj. Vance Astro in a B-Wing, Nikki, Charlie-27, Martinex, Star hawk, Aleta, Hellion, Lackki, Black Lantern Al Dog.
Oblivio is:
Krona,Kyle Rayner - Parallax (Yellow Entity), Eowyn - The Predator (Violet Entity), Aleta One w/Green Lantern Ring - Adara (Blue Entity), Predator #46 - Proselyte (Indigo Entity), Sith Lord #17 "Darth Void" - The Butcher (Red Entity), Mon Starr - Ophidian (Orange Entity), Micah Jiett - Ion (Green Entity), Space Godzilla, Captain Marvel II, Black Lantern Wonder Woman, Black Lantern Kyle Rayner, Jet Jaguar, Heavy, Chucky w/Yellow Lantern Ring and Red Lightsaber
In space: no one can hear GWAR scream.
Unfortunately for all involved, that's not exactly true. They’re on board an Imperial Shuttle and somehow Johnny Rotten figured out how to use the wings of the shuttle as speakers. The sound waves pummel Jet Jaguar and Heavy, sending them spinning into Space Godzilla. The two are killed as Space Godzilla swats at them to protect himself.
The combined power of Paralax Kyle and Black Lantern Kyle proves to be too much for Black Lantern Al Dog who is impaled on a giant yellow needle construct filled with sticky black lantern energy.
Predator #49 and Xenomorph #53 put aside their differences and approach Kingdom Come Superman who has a plan. He Hurls the two alien creatures at Space Godzilla’s back... The Xenomorph shatters on impact splashing hissing acid on the giant lizard. The predator’s crumpled body did not handle the impact well either, splashed with acid, and barely functional the predator triggers his self destruct mechanism. He laughs as the countdown finishes and he explodes, removing Space Godzilla’s head.
Chucky squares off with Terminator # 39 he tries using his yellow ring on the machine but the terminator does not know fear so the ring is powerless against him. Chucky, luckily, has a lightsaber that cuts through the metal endoskeleton of the terminator as if passing through air.
Chucky is gloating over his victory over the metal meathead and he never sees Vance’s approach. The pilot slams his b-wing into the doll shattering his plastic head and sending him spiraling into space.
At this point, Caira the Old strong, Atlas, Yondu, Aleta, Starhawk, Magik, and Yellow jacket all square off against the Entity possessed members of Oblivio.
Aleta and Aleta square off against eachother. Starhawk tries to step in but he is immediately killed by a green ring blast from Aleta One. Aleta succumbs to the power of the blue entity and is convinced that the only way for there to be peace is for her to fly into the nearest star, which she does.
The other entities make quick work of Caira, atlas, Yondu, Magik and Yellow Jacket.
Meanwhile Black Lantern Wonder Woman has grabbed the nose of Vance’s B-Wing and is using the ship as a war club. The Ship slams into Nikki, Lackki, Martinex and Hellion. And the engines begin to overload from the damage.
Black Lantern Wonder Woman hurls the disabled ship into Kingdom Come Superman where it explodes. Killing nearby Krona and Hellion who were trading blows.
Superman flies out of the wreckage and is confronted by the entities. The combined might of the full spectrum of the entities makes quick work of the aging superhero, compressing his internal organs until they explode.
The Entities then converge on the space ship that is belching out horrific sound. Bozzo Destructo claims "Don't worry I know a few maneuvers." and then slams into Eeth Koth and Nightmare killing them both. The ship attempts to make the jump to light speed but the entities are simply too fast, they dismantle the ship while the drives are spooling up leaving the band members floating in the vacuum of space, their blood boils quickly and the last sound that they emit is the squish of their eyes popping like fleshy bubble wrap.
Despite the loss of Krona, Jet Jaguar, Heavy and Chucky,
Oblivio is Victorious!
Xavier's Annihilation Squad Vs. The Right Wing
Xavier's Annihilation Squad is Supergirl, Supreme, Radar, Suprema (w/ a blue lantern ring), Silver Racer (w/ a green lantern ring), Metron, Molecule Man, Sailor Moon, Windhammer, Black Lantern Josh Houslander riding Zombie Silver Dragon #3, Black Lantern Super Soldier, The Elders of The Universe: Collector, Grandmaster, Obliterator, and Runner, Marvin the Martian, & Uncle Fester (w/ a green lightsaber).
The Right Wing is Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Prometheus, The Cosmic Hulk Robot, The Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), John Stewart, Blackfire, Athena (w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring), Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Droid Fighter Ship #2 & 3, & Jedi Knight #1B (Gary), Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance), Bear (w/ a green lightsaber and a demon rod), House M.D., and Scrappy-Doo (w/ a blue lightsaber) in an Imperial Shuttle.
Can a fan of Fantasy Fantasy ask anything more than for the two most highly touted teams in the National League to square off mid-season in a setting that is totally befitting to the both of them. The Right Wing and Xavier's Annihilation Squad have been the two teams that have been talked about most as having the potential to actually end the American League Monopoly on The Universe Bowl. They both are heavy with cosmic power, and unfortunately for them (perhaps fortunately for The American League); they both had their play-off dreams dashed by a team that was “Better Than All of You” thought they were last season. As the match begins, Superwoman instantly goes after Supergirl. Supergirl’s alien shape-shifting abilities make her extremely powerful but Lois Lane as Superwoman gives her the powers of a true Kryptonian; which is more than enough to overpower Supergirl and kill her somewhat quickly. Suprema quickly proves that she is the supreme Blue Lantern wielder, as she uses her “more than superhuman” strength to snap the alien neck of Blue Lantern #2 (but not before Blue Lantern #2 charged Silver Surfer’s green lantern ring up to 200% power). Prometheus may be strong enough to hold up entire mountains; but he was not strong enough to live through the exchange of punches that he and Supreme putdown on one another. Zeus enjoyed himself more than a king or a god should, when he threw a perfectly aimed lightning bolt through the neck of Radar. The Silver Racer, seemed to be handling his green lantern powers just as well as The Silver Surfer; but the non-amalgam version of the surfer was the one with the more raw power, which is why the Silver Surfer was fairly easily able to take out The Silver Racer, once he unleashed the power cosmic on his multi-versed half-brother. Molecule Man is quite the powerful opponent for any combatant out there, but he simply became molecules once The Cosmic Hulk Robot “smashed” him into oblivion. Droid Fighter Ship #2 was able to take out the free-floating Uncle Fester, as well as Marvin the Martian before Metron took out both it and it’s wing-droid (Droid Fighter Ship #3) with a couple of building leveling cosmic punches (R.I.P. Droid Fighter Ship #2). Black Lantern Josh Houslander, has encased both his steed, Zombie Silver Dragon #3 and Sailor Moon within an “evil” protective energy field created by his Black Lantern ring. The three of them have successfully snuck up on and landed on the back of The Imperial Shuttle, which is being piloted by Gary (Jedi Knight and former Padawan of Jedi Master Kit Fisto) along with Nick Houslander (riding shotgun). Bear and House are riding in the back two seats while Scrappy is acting like a spaz in the back portion of The Imperial Shuttle. While all of this “espionage” is going on, Blackfire has taken the opportunity to use her starbolts to stun Windhammer and her Tamaranian strength to bludgeon him to death. Back inside The Imperial Shuttle, Gary and Nick are conversing in the cockpit over a couple of death-sticks and cocktails. “I just don’t get all of this fighting,” Gary says to Nick. He continues: “I mean, I’m all about taking out bad guys if you have to, but I would just assume hang out all day in the locker room, smoke death sticks, and meditate all day than be out on these missions. I mean, why me“? “I heard that” Nick retorts. “Wa Wa” Bear adds. House chimes in with: “Wow... That is really the kind of enthusiastic patriotism I’m dying to hear about, as we are putting our lives on the line for the cause. Oh, by the way, were you going to pass that B & B back here or am I going to have to have hit you wit my cane and take it”? “No it’s up for grabs” Gary says, as he passes the bottle back to House. It is at this moment, that the Shuttle Crew notices that there is indeed, a dragon, a black lantern and an anime on top of their ship. Nick volunteers to go check it out, and dons a space suit. Nick goes out on top of the ship; but by the time he gets there he realizes that his black lantern cousin and Sailor Moon have already found a way inside. The Zombie Silver Dragon, is now very out of its element in space without the power of the black lantern ring to protect it. Nick ignites his lightsaber, but it is actually his Devil Lance that he uses to stab through the heart of the Zombie Dragon (R.I.P. Zombie Silver Dragon #3). The cursed Devil Lance than attacks Nick, just enough that it damages his space suit and sends him off into the nothingness of space. Black Lantern Josh and Sailor Moon sneak into the cockpit of the shuttle and instantly a melee begins. House manages to get a “killed by a midget” joke off before Josh blasts him with a shot of black energy to kill him; while Bear and Scrappy manage to both get a piece of their lightsabers into Sailor Moon to finish her off. Josh is pretty proud of his killing of the matches only medical professional, but his joy is short lived as Gary manages to slice off Black Lantern Josh’s head with a quick lightsaber swing. Gary, Bear, & Scrappy begin to mourn the loss of Nick and House as they fly away, but before they can do anything The Elder of The Universe known as The Obliterator completely obliterates their entire shuttle. Black Lantern She-Hulk squares off against Black Lantern Super Soldier in what is a very evenly matched hand to hand combat battle. Super Soldier is parrying her attacks quite well, until a black energy infused right jab breaks his shield in half. After that the defenseless Super Soldier succumbs to Black Lantern She-Hulks attacks. The Runner attempts to battle with The Flash, but he simply can’t keep up. The Flash is able to run circles around The Runner until The Runner’s molecules are completely destroyed. The Collector wishes to begin a collection of every power ring in the spectrum; but he makes a poor decision when he tries to begin with John Stewart (whose ring has been previously bumped up to 200% power by The Flash’s Blue Lantern Ring). The Collector is unable to protect himself, once Stewart releases twice his ring’s potential on the elder. The unlikely duo of Athena and Black Lantern Six Shot then combine their powers to take out The Grandmaster, before he has the ability to put together an unstoppable force of minions. The Obliterator, who is the last remaining elder regroups with Supreme, Suprema, and Metron to combine their powers in an attempt to stop The Right Wing. Zeus teams with his daughter Athena and her new BFF Black Lantern Six Shot to move against The Obliterator. The Obliterator manages to obliterate Black Lantern Six Shot, but in the end is unable to overpower the two Greek gods. Suprema and her blue lantern powers are enough to actually catch up to The Flash and his blue energy and crack his spine, but once her exhausted self has to face off against both John Stewart and Blackfire, she is overcome by their powers. Black Lantern She Hulk moves against Metron, but in this case, sheer strength has nothing over a good mix of strength, speed, and cosmic power. Metron is able to separate She-Hulk from her ring and then destroy what is left. Superwoman leads both The Cosmic Hulk Robot, and Silver Surfer against Supreme. Supreme is able to overpower The Cosmic Hulk Robot with sheer strength of both body and will; but once Silver Surfer unleashes both the power of his green energy ring combined with the power cosmic and Superwoman’s might, Supreme no longer has the strength to fight on. Metron then finds himself surrounded by Superwoman, Silver Surfer, Zeus, John Stewart, Blackfire, & Athena. Metron is able to defy odds by killing the supposedly immortal Athena despite being outnumbered; but that is all he is able to accomplish in his last stand.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!
The Right Wing is Superwoman, Blue Lantern #2, Prometheus, The Cosmic Hulk Robot, The Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), Zeus, Flash (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), John Stewart, Blackfire, Athena (w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring), Black Lantern She-Hulk, Black Lantern Six-Shot, Droid Fighter Ship #2 & 3, & Jedi Knight #1B (Gary), Nick Houslander (w/ a blue lightsaber and a devil lance), Bear (w/ a green lightsaber and a demon rod), House M.D., and Scrappy-Doo (w/ a blue lightsaber) in an Imperial Shuttle.
Can a fan of Fantasy Fantasy ask anything more than for the two most highly touted teams in the National League to square off mid-season in a setting that is totally befitting to the both of them. The Right Wing and Xavier's Annihilation Squad have been the two teams that have been talked about most as having the potential to actually end the American League Monopoly on The Universe Bowl. They both are heavy with cosmic power, and unfortunately for them (perhaps fortunately for The American League); they both had their play-off dreams dashed by a team that was “Better Than All of You” thought they were last season. As the match begins, Superwoman instantly goes after Supergirl. Supergirl’s alien shape-shifting abilities make her extremely powerful but Lois Lane as Superwoman gives her the powers of a true Kryptonian; which is more than enough to overpower Supergirl and kill her somewhat quickly. Suprema quickly proves that she is the supreme Blue Lantern wielder, as she uses her “more than superhuman” strength to snap the alien neck of Blue Lantern #2 (but not before Blue Lantern #2 charged Silver Surfer’s green lantern ring up to 200% power). Prometheus may be strong enough to hold up entire mountains; but he was not strong enough to live through the exchange of punches that he and Supreme putdown on one another. Zeus enjoyed himself more than a king or a god should, when he threw a perfectly aimed lightning bolt through the neck of Radar. The Silver Racer, seemed to be handling his green lantern powers just as well as The Silver Surfer; but the non-amalgam version of the surfer was the one with the more raw power, which is why the Silver Surfer was fairly easily able to take out The Silver Racer, once he unleashed the power cosmic on his multi-versed half-brother. Molecule Man is quite the powerful opponent for any combatant out there, but he simply became molecules once The Cosmic Hulk Robot “smashed” him into oblivion. Droid Fighter Ship #2 was able to take out the free-floating Uncle Fester, as well as Marvin the Martian before Metron took out both it and it’s wing-droid (Droid Fighter Ship #3) with a couple of building leveling cosmic punches (R.I.P. Droid Fighter Ship #2). Black Lantern Josh Houslander, has encased both his steed, Zombie Silver Dragon #3 and Sailor Moon within an “evil” protective energy field created by his Black Lantern ring. The three of them have successfully snuck up on and landed on the back of The Imperial Shuttle, which is being piloted by Gary (Jedi Knight and former Padawan of Jedi Master Kit Fisto) along with Nick Houslander (riding shotgun). Bear and House are riding in the back two seats while Scrappy is acting like a spaz in the back portion of The Imperial Shuttle. While all of this “espionage” is going on, Blackfire has taken the opportunity to use her starbolts to stun Windhammer and her Tamaranian strength to bludgeon him to death. Back inside The Imperial Shuttle, Gary and Nick are conversing in the cockpit over a couple of death-sticks and cocktails. “I just don’t get all of this fighting,” Gary says to Nick. He continues: “I mean, I’m all about taking out bad guys if you have to, but I would just assume hang out all day in the locker room, smoke death sticks, and meditate all day than be out on these missions. I mean, why me“? “I heard that” Nick retorts. “Wa Wa” Bear adds. House chimes in with: “Wow... That is really the kind of enthusiastic patriotism I’m dying to hear about, as we are putting our lives on the line for the cause. Oh, by the way, were you going to pass that B & B back here or am I going to have to have hit you wit my cane and take it”? “No it’s up for grabs” Gary says, as he passes the bottle back to House. It is at this moment, that the Shuttle Crew notices that there is indeed, a dragon, a black lantern and an anime on top of their ship. Nick volunteers to go check it out, and dons a space suit. Nick goes out on top of the ship; but by the time he gets there he realizes that his black lantern cousin and Sailor Moon have already found a way inside. The Zombie Silver Dragon, is now very out of its element in space without the power of the black lantern ring to protect it. Nick ignites his lightsaber, but it is actually his Devil Lance that he uses to stab through the heart of the Zombie Dragon (R.I.P. Zombie Silver Dragon #3). The cursed Devil Lance than attacks Nick, just enough that it damages his space suit and sends him off into the nothingness of space. Black Lantern Josh and Sailor Moon sneak into the cockpit of the shuttle and instantly a melee begins. House manages to get a “killed by a midget” joke off before Josh blasts him with a shot of black energy to kill him; while Bear and Scrappy manage to both get a piece of their lightsabers into Sailor Moon to finish her off. Josh is pretty proud of his killing of the matches only medical professional, but his joy is short lived as Gary manages to slice off Black Lantern Josh’s head with a quick lightsaber swing. Gary, Bear, & Scrappy begin to mourn the loss of Nick and House as they fly away, but before they can do anything The Elder of The Universe known as The Obliterator completely obliterates their entire shuttle. Black Lantern She-Hulk squares off against Black Lantern Super Soldier in what is a very evenly matched hand to hand combat battle. Super Soldier is parrying her attacks quite well, until a black energy infused right jab breaks his shield in half. After that the defenseless Super Soldier succumbs to Black Lantern She-Hulks attacks. The Runner attempts to battle with The Flash, but he simply can’t keep up. The Flash is able to run circles around The Runner until The Runner’s molecules are completely destroyed. The Collector wishes to begin a collection of every power ring in the spectrum; but he makes a poor decision when he tries to begin with John Stewart (whose ring has been previously bumped up to 200% power by The Flash’s Blue Lantern Ring). The Collector is unable to protect himself, once Stewart releases twice his ring’s potential on the elder. The unlikely duo of Athena and Black Lantern Six Shot then combine their powers to take out The Grandmaster, before he has the ability to put together an unstoppable force of minions. The Obliterator, who is the last remaining elder regroups with Supreme, Suprema, and Metron to combine their powers in an attempt to stop The Right Wing. Zeus teams with his daughter Athena and her new BFF Black Lantern Six Shot to move against The Obliterator. The Obliterator manages to obliterate Black Lantern Six Shot, but in the end is unable to overpower the two Greek gods. Suprema and her blue lantern powers are enough to actually catch up to The Flash and his blue energy and crack his spine, but once her exhausted self has to face off against both John Stewart and Blackfire, she is overcome by their powers. Black Lantern She Hulk moves against Metron, but in this case, sheer strength has nothing over a good mix of strength, speed, and cosmic power. Metron is able to separate She-Hulk from her ring and then destroy what is left. Superwoman leads both The Cosmic Hulk Robot, and Silver Surfer against Supreme. Supreme is able to overpower The Cosmic Hulk Robot with sheer strength of both body and will; but once Silver Surfer unleashes both the power of his green energy ring combined with the power cosmic and Superwoman’s might, Supreme no longer has the strength to fight on. Metron then finds himself surrounded by Superwoman, Silver Surfer, Zeus, John Stewart, Blackfire, & Athena. Metron is able to defy odds by killing the supposedly immortal Athena despite being outnumbered; but that is all he is able to accomplish in his last stand.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!
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