S6W2 – Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies vs. The Royal Highness

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are: Zombie King Kong, Black Lantern Guy Gardner, Zombie Darth Maul, Black Lantern Grievous, Black Lantern Qui Gon Jinn, and 27 Ewoks. (# 6 -9. and 11-33)

The Royal Highness is: Phantom Stranger, Doomslayer, Jack Skellington, Oogie Boogie, Maleficent(Disney), Mumm-Ra, Morgan Le Fey, and Dave Thomas

The Murderflies are transported to the FFL graveyard and immediately the obnoxious number of ewoks take to the trees and begin to scurry into the darkness, hiding behind tombstones. The remaining members are more reserved to start the match. They slowly walk around until each of them finds the headstones bearing their names. The earth is dug up and only empty pits remain at their feet. Even though they have been resurrected as Black Lanterns and zombies, the pain and memories of dozens of deaths are still as fresh in their minds as this morning's breakfast. They know that a poor performance today will just bring them one step closer to dying... for good... again.

Their moment of reflection is over. BL Qui Gon senses a silent attack and Maleficent is dead before she even knows that he turned around. He looks over her shoulder as his lightsaber through her torso illuminates the graveyard behind her. He sees the Phantom Stranger step out in front of him and he withdraws his weapon letting the Mistress of Evil fall lifeless at his feet. Qui Gon takes a step forward and Doomslayer blindside punches him exploding his head like the watermelons that Letterman used to drop on 51^st street. Zombie Darth Maul does some unnecessary backflips and takes a charge at Mumm-Ra. Darth Maul appears more obsessed with dancing and strafing in a circle than he does with actual engaging an attack. Mumm-Ra quickly becomes bored with the ballet and dispatches the horned faced sith with a lightning bolt just as BL Grievous removes his head.

“What's this? What's this? There's creatures everywhere!

What's this? What's this? They're covered in fuzzy hair!”

Jack Skellington has taken to song as the ewoks begin to swarm. They fall out of the trees and run in from the shadows.

“Oh no! Oh no! They've taken off my head!

Oh no! Oh no! I think I'm really dead!”

He is in fact dead but as two ewoks tug at his feet, the joint at his knees break and both ewoks are speared through the chest with Jack's falling femurs. Oogie Boogie begins to inhale deeply, swallowing 3 ewoks before Zombie King Kong bashes his potato sack body a foot into the ground. Dozens jump on Morgan Le Fey and they all fall into an open grave. BL Guy Gardner harnesses the power of his ring to fill the pit with dirt, sacrificing his tiny allies to kill Le Fey. He then looks up from his landscaping to see the Phantom Stranger jumping on him and getting him in a headlock. Two ewoks jump on top of him and stab him through both eye sockets before Gardner can even react.

“I could have handled him!” Guy Gardner says annoyed.

“Nub Nub” says Ewok #10 as he and #22 run back into the fight.

Doomslayer is racking up the kills. He cannot punch ewoks fast enough and I honestly don't know which ewoks are dead and what ones are alive. We will have to gather up the toe tags later. The ground begins to shake and Doomslayer instinctively barrel rolls out of the way just in time to see King Kong's fist make a crater where he just was standing. Quickly getting to his feet, Doomslayer is able to get under Kong who is still off balance from his punch. He grabs handfuls of fur and jumps above the trees with the giant beast above his head. He looks down to where the crowd of ewoks, whose numbers are quickly depleting, are still recovering from the shockwave that liquified their furry friends. Guy Gardner is following his two lifesavers who have just regrouped with the remaining ewoks when the giant Kong is thrown down crushing them all and killing Kong as well.

As Doomslayer lands, he sees BL Grievous waiting for him with the 3 remaining ewoks. The ewoks charge and Doomslayer scoops them up and throws them back at Grievous. The first two are easily cleaved in twain but as the last ewok is killed, Grievous unexpectedly loses his balance and falls. Doomslayer takes advantage and pounces. But as his fist crushes Grievous's rib cage and stops his heart, he sees a lightsaber exit his right shoulder and the base has entered him above his left hip. Both of them fall dead and the graveyard is silent again as it was before the match started.

An ewok spear slowly moves from between Grievous's dead feet, clearly the cause of his stumble. A voice from behind a tombstone quietly asks:

“Where's the Beef?”