Season 6: Week 2. Horsemen of Apocalypse vs. The Red Army

The Horsemen are: Superman, Dracula, Pinhead, Jason Voorhies w/blue lightsaber, Leatherface,
Black Hand, and Bruno Sammartino.
The Red Army is: Vampire Orion, Jared Nomak, The Cullen Family (Indigo Lantern Carlisle, Star
Sapphire Esme, Emmett, Alice, Jasper Hale, and Rosalie Hale) Cole Sear w/Soul Gem, Yellow
Lantern Madame Blanc, Red Lantern Miss Tanner, Red Lantern Helena Markos, Susperia witches
#1-5, Angel w/blue lightsaber, and Spike.

A crisp night and a full moon with a chill that never quite leaves. Death herself permeates the FFL
Graveyard. Superman kneels alone in front of a tombstone. "I should have been there when you
died. I should have been there to protect you. I wasn't. I couldn't be. Hopefully, I can find some
way to honor you while I'm here Kara." Kal-el takes a moment to himself before returning to
what was once the Horsemans meeting. "Bruno, where did everybody go?"

"The Dracula and Pinhead, they say they have the score to settle. Jason and the Leatherface
go to the woods, and the Black Hand wander off through the tombstones. Looks like it is just
you and me!" say Bruno. "I expected as much. Let's just hope they can get the job done. I don't
want to be here any longer than I have to." says Superman, as he quickly scans the horizon with
telescopic vision. "Get ready Bruno." warns Superman, heralding the arrival of Vampire Orion,
and Jared Nomak. "I'll be back when I can." says Kal-el, grabbing Vampire Orion and Nomak as he
flies upward out of sight.

Superman flies into space with Vampire Orion and Nomak in tow. Jared Nomck is thrown into the
Sun immediately, although he disintegrates long before he gets there. "Orion, we were friends,
once. Surrender." "That was a lifetime ago. I barely recall our friendship. I am sorry Kal." explains
Orion. "No, old friend, I am." says Superman with regret. Superman lunges at Orion with all of his
speed, but is halted with a full blast of Orion's Astro-Force, stopping him in his tracks. Superman
shakes off the searing pain and counters with a blast of heat vision while flying forward. He
punches Orion and shatters the New God's helmet. In this proximity to the Sun, Vampire Orion
quickly burns. "You deserved better than this." laments Superman as he flies back to Earth.

Meanwhile, back at the Graveyard, the Suspiria witch coven #1-5 are gathered together around
a campfire. "I don't think this is what we're supposed to be doing. Aren't we supposed to be
setting up a spell or something?" asks witch #2 "Who cares?" replies Suspiria witch #4. I didn't
join an all-girls school to be a witch, or whatever." raising an eyebrow. CH-CH-CH HA-HA-HA. "Did
you hear that?" wonders Suspiria witch #3 aloud. "It's just the wind." replies Suspiria witch #1.
CH-CH-CH HA-HA-HA. "There it is again." says Suspiria witch #3 trailing off. Jason's blue lightsaber
chops SW 2 and 3 in half. "I can..." says SW #4 before Leatherface's chainsaw rudely interrupts.
They hack the remaining witches into bits like men possessed. Flashes of light appear as Yellow
Lantern Madame Blanc, Red Lantern Miss Tanner, and Red Lantern Helena Markos arrive at
the scene. "This will certainly set our plans back a bit. No matter, there are always more girls to
use." comments Helena as Miss Tanner and Madame Blanc nod in agreement. Pinhead suddenly
appears. "Greetings ladies, I hear that you have been attempting to lay a claim on Hell. I dispute
your claim." warns Pinhead. Jason and Leatherface stand silent, as the Headmistresses of
Suspiria also do nothing. Seriously, nothing is happening. They say that the scary part of Suspiria
is not what actually happens, but the anticipation of what will occur. So... scared yet? Didn't
think so. Let's move on to another part of the battlefield before we all die of boredom.

The gathering of the Red Army's vampires is far more lively, despite the fact that vampires are
technically undead. Spike and Angel from "Buffy" are relentlessly mocking the Cullen family. "I
can't believe we're stuck with these... ae they even vampires?" "Not really" says Angel. "From
what I understand, the author didn't even do any research into vampire lore. I mean, what
the hell? I know! I'll write a book all about King Arthur, but instead of Camelot, it's on a space
station, and instead of a man, he's a squid. But he's still a king, and his name is Arthur, so it's

all good. Pay me." "Whoa... ix-nay on the ace-spay quid-say. Alan Moore might sue your ass."
comments Spike. "And why is this stupid kid with us, anyway? He's not even a vampire. I don't
get it." "Haven't you ever seen the Sixth Sense. That's Cole Sear" says Angel. "What? The "I see
dead people" kid? In a graveyard? He's probably too scared to do anything but piss himself."
replies Spike, shaking his head. "Maybe that soul gem that they gave him could help him with
that. I mean it's gotta do something, right? I hear those Infinity Gems are pretty useful." ponders
Angel. "I guess." says Spike, clearly annoyed. "Man, if only we weren't on the same team. I would
show these pretenders what a true vampire can do."

"That can be arranged." says Dracula as he enthralls the two. The 3 traditional vampires charge
the Cullens. Indigo lantern Carlisle looks to Star Sapphire Esme. "No matter what happens, our
souls will remain together forever." Esme answers, "Entwined for eternity, my love". This causes
Dracula. Angel, and Spike to halt the charge to projectile vomit. "This is pure torture!" coughs
Dracula. "My legend, cultivated over centuries based on fear and terror, reduced to a tween love
story!" "Now's our chance! Let's get them!" shouts Emmett Cullen, as he and Rosalie run to the
fallen vampires. "No! You fools! Stick together!" yells Jasper Hale. Pinhead joins the fight as
chains burst from seemingly nowhere, rending Emmett and Rosalie to pieces. "For vampires, you
have weak stomachs. Get up." Pinhead calmly states. "You're lucky. You didn't have to see that
disgusting scene." says Dracula rising. "Speaking of missing scenes, where have you been?" "Wait
for it," smirks Pinhead. "No, we are all tired of Suspiria. We are all sick of waiting!" screams
Spike. "Just. Do. Something." "Fine, but there are many horror fans that would disagree. In fact,
many film critics consider it to be a top 10..." "Enough!" The 3 vampires cut off Pinhead mid-
sentence. "Okay, okay... Philistines." replies a dejected the Pinhead, raising his arm. The lifeless
bodies of Jason and Leatherface swing down from the nearest tree on Nooses. Their bodies are
mutilated to varying degrees. I must say, the gore is very impressive. "You killed our teammates?
I mean, it's better than waiting, but you couldn't think of anything more productive?" questions
Dracula. "I didn't kill them, the witches did." counters Pinhead. "Trust me, it's scarier for
everyone this way." Dracula rolls his eyes, "Just tell us what happened with the other witches, so
we can end this damn Suspiria angle once and for all." "Fine, it's not my fault you can't
appreciate excellent cinematography." retorts Pinhead raising his other arm. A rain of blood that
once belonged to the three now deceased Headmistresses begins to trickle down from the
sky. "Here they are now. Notice the vivid color that they add to the scene. It mixes in nicely with
the lighting and really sets the tone." "Yeah, great but now those Cullens kick even more ass
thanks to bloodlust, you dope." states Angel. "And you don't?" answers Pinhead. "Oh, yeah..
good job" realizes Angel. Dracula, aided by the still enthralled Angel and Spike, are revived by the
blood rain and continue the charge to battle. indigo lantern Carlisle, star sapphire Esme, and
Alice Cullen, as well as Jasper Hale, meet them in the middle for a furious battle.

Pinhead remains behind, preferring to attack from a distance. His chains appear again, quickly
dismembering Alice Cullen. Pinhead targets Jasper, but before he can act, he feels a tug on his
leather costume. "Hey mister. I know you weren't always a bad guy. Why are you so mad Elliot?
asks Cole Sear as the soul gem sparkles. Hearing his real name, combined with the power of the
soul gem, reverts Pinhead to his human form, Elliot Spencer. Elliot is horrified by his actions as
Pinhead, but his suffering is short lived, as Jasper Hale punches through his chest.

Bruno Sammartino finally joins the fight. He grabs Cole Sear, and puts him in a Boston Crab. "I
no kill you kid, but you don't use the magic whammy either!" says Bruno, applying pressure and
keeping Sear in just enough pain to ruin his concentration. Jasper puts an end to this by ripping
Sammartino in half. Jasper turns to join the battle at hand, but he and Cole are both felled by a
red and blue blur, their hearts ripped from their chests.

The battle of the vampires resumes. "Esme, use the ring." advises Carlisle. "Of course dear." he
replies. "Dracula, even one as a vile as yourself must have experienced some kind of love. Let it
guide you." Esme Cullen's star sapphire ring encases Dracula in a violet crystal, ending his mental

sway over Spike and Angel. "Ugh, my head is pounding. Maybe you fake vampires aren't so bad
after all." admits Angel. Dracula frees himself, shattering the violet crystal. "Your parlor tricks
cannot stop me. I will not feel love. I only yearn to be feared. You will bow to your true master!"
commands Dracula. "Get real, old man. You are way outnumbered, unless you can't count,
Dracula. Get it?" laughs Spike, who is met with a collective groan.

Indigo lantern Carlisle and Star Sapphire Esme Cullen stand beside Angel and Spike, confronting
a lone Dracula. "I can even the odds a bit. announces Black Hand. Dracula looks less than
pleased, "I have the patience of an immortal, and yet you still try mine. What kept you?" "I
was picking out a very special present for our new friend." explains Hand, which brings out a
rare smile from death's avatar. "I thought you had seen her earlier, but I suppose she's fast,
even by your standards." "What have you done, Hand?" inquires Superman, finally returning
from the initial battle in space. Due to his super hearing, he has been privy to the entire
conversation. "Just a little something to welcome you to the team, hero." answers Black Hand. "I
hope you like it."

Spike and Angel drop suddenly as their hearts are yanked from their chests. A bloody Black
Lantern Supergirl stops upon seeing Kal-el. "KAL! You're here! I was beginning to think that you
might not be back. I know you've missed me. I heard you talking about me earlier. Black Hand
granted your wish when he gave me this ring. We can be together again!" "Kara," whispers
Superman has he looks at it a newly resurrected Black Lantern Supergirl. A single tear rolls down
the face of the Man of Steel. "Kal? Why are you crying? Isn't this what you wanted? To have
a family again?" Sadness gives way to rage as Superman's eyes burn red and his heat vision
exterminates Black Lantern Supergirl. This blast is so powerful that it rips through everything in
its path, also finishing the remaining members of the Red Army, as well as his teammate Dracula.
Black Hand is stunned by this display. "You... you didn't like my gift? Many have begged me for
this opportunity. They have..." Superman cuts Black Hand off mid sentence, grabbing him by the
thoat. "Hal has mentioned you before, and he's told me of your wishes, too. Lucky for you, I'm in
a very giving mood. It's only fair." says Superman squeezing tighter. "But not today William." He
throws Black Hand to the ground. "If you or any of the horseman try something like that again,
I will find a fate worse than death for all of you. In your case, Black Hand, that is life. Spread the
word, William." ends Superman, flying away from the battlefield into a bleak night sky.