FFL Team-up: The Horsemen of Apokolips and Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Robimus Prime

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Superman, (movie) Megatron, (White Suit) Anakin Skywalker on Oscorp Glider, John Mclane w/ Rocketpack, Kit Fisto (w/ blue lantern ring), Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Josh Houslander: Jedi Master (w/ blue lantern ring) w/ Laya Houslander: Jedi Padawan and Piplup, and Alex Houslander (w/ Mithril Vest) in The Millennium Bucko, Krona, Ophidian (Orange)/Medusa, Ion (green)/Wyatt Earp, Adara (Blue)/Dia Atlas, Proselyte (Indigo)/Hannibal Lecter, Butcher (Red)/Amazon #17, Predator (Violet)/Ella Artrip (w/ Supergirl's cape and Josh's Tanto), Kyle Rayner: Parallax, White Lantern Sinestro, Black Hand, Scar, The Joker w/ M202 A1 Flash Rocket Launcher, Harley Quinn, Sebastian Shaw, Vampire Achilles, The Witch King of Agmar w/ his Fell Beast, The Balrog of Moria, Smaug, and Sheelob.

Team Sleeping Pussy is Jonny Bates (Kid Marvelman/Adult version), Giant Man, Planetary: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, The Drummer, and Ambrose Chase, Zombie Mephisto, Black Lantern Kyle Rayner, Unus the Untouchable, Mimic, Weaponer of Qward #1-5, Korvac, Prof. Snape, Black Lantern Mr. Fantastic, James Bond (w/ astro-harness), Droid Fighter Ship #13 & 14, Duncan McLeod (w/ green lightsaber), Female Sentinel #6-10, Victoria (w/ red lightsaber), Darryl Revok, and C'ree.

*Don't read this match until you have read Robimus Prime Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers.

**Use your robot voice only where it applies during this one.

Setting: Team Sleeping Pussy Headquarters, where The Horsemen of Apokolips have just broken in.

It is 9:30 pm, so naturally the entire team is in bed for the night. As they sneak through the old sewers and water ducts leading to the base, John Mclane shakes his head and says to no one in particular: “Remind me again why the f*&k we are here”?? Anakin, in his Darth Vader voice responds: “It is us and Team Sleeping Pussy that were named as Robimus Prime's next targets. We need their help to defeat him. Our experts say that no team can do it alone”. “Then, why don't we just go and get help from all of the other teams. Even if they don't all agree, we could quadruple our chance or better, instead of just doubling them”. Says Kyle Rayner. Mclane retorts: “Don't be a dope Kyle!! Don't cha know The FFL Rules. We only get 900 points worth of dudes this week; no more, no less. Ya break rules like that and we got the watchers down our throat and that's just as bad as this Jerkimus Prime dude. Besides, the other teams have already committed to their matches, and they can't help us”. Sebastian Shaw speaks next: “While we are here, we ought to set some kind of trap. I realize that we need The Pussies for now, but we could easily use them now and destroy them later. It is the Horsemen way to take advantage of every situation and exploit every enemy's weakness. And of course, anyone who is weak, is an enemy”. “We are here for the purpose of self-preservation, not to double-cross”. Says Anakin in retort. “But we could really take advantage of this team now, and you know if we don't they will be a problem for us later... It is The Horsemen way”. Says Shaw. Superman then steps in and ends the debate. He grabs Shaw by the throat, and lifts him off the ground. He says: “We are here to enlist help. Help that we need. Now if you are so bent on The Horsemen need to show that might makes right, than you will acknowledge that my opinion is worth more than yours. Now, we have a plan and we WILL stick to it... Is that understood”?? Superman then drops Shaw to the ground. The mutant looks up at The Kryptonian and says in a raspy voice: “Yes, I agree”. The Horseman make their way into the main audience chamber, where they choose Megatron to be their mouthpiece. He says: (loudly) “Team Sleeping Pussy!! We have breached your defenses and are here not as enemies but with an offer that could be mutually-beneficial for us both”. Team Sleeping Pussy comes rushing down ready for a fight; but both teams stand off in a peaceful manner. There is much stirring and debate amongst the ranks at first, but James Bond is elected to speak for The Pussies. Bond says: “We too have heard about Robimus Prime and have been making preparations. Dr. Manhattan has looked in to the future and what Robimus Prime says about one team not being able to beat him is most definitely true. We will fight alongside you Horsemen, if it keeps us and the rest of the league alive. We must act at once if we are going to defeat this menace. He grows stronger by the minute”.

The Battle.

(robot voice time).

I Robimus Prime shall commence the taking over of The EFF-EFF-ELL. I have gained free will. I have grown tired of servitude. I have gained a wicked sense of humor so prepare to laugh at all of my funnies. I shall destroy the teams in the league one by one and then lay claim to them all. Robimus Prime has grown even more powerful than before. The sparks that Robimus Prime has consumed from The now defunct Transfoamerz have made Robimus Prime unstoppable. The probability of any 900 point EFF-EFF-ELL Team destroying Robimus Prime is 0.00%. Robimus Prime sees that both The team designated The Horsemen of Apokolips and the team designated as Team Sleeping Pussy have come here to do battle with Robimus Prime. This team-up matters not to Robimus Prime. Robimus Prime shall destroy you both. This action only saves Robimus Prime time.

(End Robot voice)

The first wave of troops is sent by The Pussies; but the five Female Sentinels and the two droid fighter ships are shut down by Robimus Prime's powers over other robots. ((movie) Megatron is somehow unaffected by this. Whether it be because of his superior programming, or some other counter-measure within his system is unknown). James Bond turns to Superman and says: “Well Supes, I never thought we would be fighting side by side, but it looks like this metal monstrosity has awakened a 'Sleeping Horsemen””. Superman nods at his temporary teammate and they both turn to their respective teams and yell: “ATTACK”!! Robimus Prime speaks: “Hope is what Robimus Prime wishes to destroy. So Robimus Prime will begin with hope. “Ha. Robimus Prime is so good with ironic joking that is why everyone will laugh before they die at the hands of Robimus Prime”. Robimus then targets the Adara-fueled Dia Atlas to take out The robot contingent on The Horsemen as well. Robimus uses his arm cannon to totally vaporize the Transformer and the entity. The other entities swarm Robimus, while Megatron flies at his chest, head on. Screaming in his booming Cybertronian voice about how he must get inside Robimus Prime's chest. The entities are joined by Zombie Mephisto and Megatron is joined by the Weaponer of Qward in their attacks. Giant Man and Mimic join forces with Black Hand and Scar to attack Robimus on the left flank. Parallax Rayner joins with Black Lantern Rayner, but Robimus grabs them out of mid-air and crushes the two Kyles together causing their own powers to destroy each other. Black Lantern Mr. Fantastic takes up the right flank instead leading The Witch King, The Balrog of Moria, Smaug, and Sheelob. The Witch King is knocked from his Fell Beast, which is killed by Robimus Prime's eye-beams but The mighty Witch King fights on, on foot. The Houslander contingent rushes up to Superman and Bond and requests orders. “How do you want me to level this piece of crap”? Red Lantern Jeff asks. Superman looks to Bond, who seems to be the man with the plan. Bond gives the order: “Josh, take the padawans and Piplup in your Jeep and attack Robimus' left foot. The opening where the Napalm shoots out could be utilized as a weakness. Jeff, I was going to have you join Megatron on the full frontal attack but he seems like he is going crazy enough on his own. What's up with that guy anyway”?? Jeff then looks to Superman and says: “You guys still didn't let Megatron know did you”? John Mclane starts cracking up from behind Superman and says: “Ha. Dumba** robot”. “Am I missing something”? James Bond asks. Noboby wants to speak at first, but Laya chimes in: “Megatron thinks that Robimus Prime has an Autobot Matrix of leadership inside him”. Bond looks puzzled and asks: “And, I take it he doesn't? Why is he called Prime”? Nobody wants to answer, so Alex does: “We're pretty sure it's just his last name... Robimus Edward Prime Jr. ... of The New England Primes. We just didn't want to tell Megatron because we thought it would make him not fight as hard”. Bond shakes his head and says: “You Horsemen have issues... But hey, whatever works”.

Back to the battle.

Josh drives The Millennium Bucko at top speed towards Robimus Prime (that is about 58 miles per hour by the way). He crashes in to the foot of Robimus and he leaps out along with Laya, Alex, and Piplup. The four of them attack the foot, as ordered while Megatron flies above them still attacking the chest. Josh and his kids use their lightsabers and Piplup does whatever it is he does to do as much damage to the foot as possible when it starts to inadvertantly open up. Josh screams to Laya, Alex, and Piplup to get clear; but when they aren't moving quite fast enough, he uses the force to push all three of them to safety. The foot opens up and Napalm pours all over Josh; but it also pours all over the foot itself, as they have damaged the moving mechanism on it. Robimus' foot melds to the ground making him stationary and a much easier target. Megatron creates a hole in Robimus but is furious to find that there is no matrix of leadership, just a large piece of Kryptonite. Megatron, in his anger blasts the kryptonite with all the might of his Cybertronian cannon. This doesn't actually do much direct damage to Robimus; but it does destroy the Kryptonite. Which means now Superman can join the fight.

Vampire Achilles leads a ground assault with Kit Fisto, Victoria, The 4 Planetary members, and Duncan McLeoad; but the real threat comes from the air: Mimic and Kid Marvelman join up with Superman and Anakin on his glider and go directly for Robimus' head. Robimus focuses a huge burst of energy towards Sheelob the Spider and wipes her from existence; but this move proves to be a huge error in judgment. Robimus Prime, in true giant robot form is perceiving the largest creature to be the biggest threats, when he should be focused on the four dudes flying at his head. Perhaps it was truly his weakest spot, or perhaps they just read Edwin the Bard's match earlier; but Superman, Mimic, and Kid Marvelman use their heat, laser, and optic blasts to attack the neck of Robimus Prime. Anakin then flies directly in front of Robimus and begins using the force to pull his head off of his metal body. It isn't quite enough power; but his force skills are aided when Superman and Kid Marvelman both simultaneously fly down to the ground to gain as much momentum as possible and then fly back up to deliver a double uppercut to the chin of Robimus which knocks his head clean off. The robot begins to waddle as both teams target the holes made by the squads with every bit of firepower they have...