Season 7, Week 3 Match: Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies vs. The Royal Highness

“I can't go on if I'm on my own.”

            -Chicago [Will You Still Love Me]

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 7, Week 3 Match located in the Southside of Chicago.  They are as follows:

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: Amatsu Mikaboshi - The Chaos King, Scorpion, Odin, Captain Marvel II (Noh-Varr), The Kingpin w/ Clone Trooper #46, Ernie Harwell (w/ Blue Lantern Ring), and A.L.F. (with a heat axe) in a S.H.I.E.L.D. Hellicarrier, Dark Claw, The Shadow, Ratchet, Bulkhead, Joruus C' Boath, Jorus C' Boath, Jack Reacher with Dorf, Molly Pitcher, and Sacajawea in a Rhino 4 x 4.

The Royal Highness: Dr. Doom, Cyborg Doomsday, Steel Doomsday, Overlord, T-X, Robocop, Titanium Man, Hobgoblin, Chameleon, Morgan Le Fay, Dark Dragon, Hollywood Hulk Hogan in AT-ST, Jack Hawksmoor, NFG Mike w/green lightsaber/bong on green Yoshi.

Murderflies locker room. . .

Jack Reacher:  Remember people, there are four types of players who join the Murderflies. For some, it's family trade. Others are patriots, eager to serve. Next you have those who just need a job. Then there's the kind who want the legal means of killing other people.

Shadow:  I know.

Dorf:  You know everything!

Highness locker room. . .

Hollywood Hulk Hogan:  Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania destroys you, Murderflies!!!

NFG (after taking a hit):  . . . such rippling muscles. . . .

THE TORNADO SIRENS SIGNAL THE TEAMS TO ENTER INTO THE MEAN STREETS OF CHICAGO.

Let the match begin. . .

Madison and State. . .

Reacher, Dorf, Molly Pitcher and Saccejawea jump into the Highness’ Rhino 4 x 4.  They slowly turn into the intersection and fail to notice NFG Mike as he runs into the street, lightsaber in hand.  NFG slices through the right front and rear tires with a well-precisioned slice.  In response, the Rhino falls to its side, hits two parked cars and flips on its top.  Reacher miraculously escapes, as does Dorf and Pitcher.  Sacajawea does not get to use her directional skills any longer as she is crushed in the vehicle’s destruction.    A revving of survormotors is heard as Robocoop trapses into the scene.  The Detroit enforcement officer focuses on the trio.

Robocop: Your move, creeps.

Reacher throws Dorf over a car and jumps after him.  Molly Pitcher fails to protect herself as she is riddled by Robocop’s bullets.  Pitcher falls in patriotic disgrace.

 Bryn Mawr and Central. . .

The Murderflies’ S.H.I.E.L.D. Hellicarrier floats over the cityscape.  A.L.F. stands on the carrier’s runway, smiling at the breeze on his face since he is used to the winds whipping through his fur on Melmac.  He grips his heat axe tightly as the Hobgoblin floats upward on his glider.  The Hobgoblin cackles and immediately throws a pumpkin bomb at the dimunitive alien.  The explosion’s concussion throws A.L.F. across the tarmac.  In response, A.L.F. throws his heat axe, striking the  glider’s left thruster.  The glider sputters and begins to careen out of control.  A.L.F. shouts for joy at his accomplishment.  Before striking the ground, Morgan Le Fay uses her magic to save the masked mercenary.

Roosevelt and Cottage Grove. . .

The mechanical clanking of an AT-ST echoes through the streets as Hulk Hogan steers his vehicle.  Jorus C’Boath and his progeny, Dark Jedi clone, Joruus C’Boath combine both their skill and Force abilities in an endeavor to defeat the WWE superstar.   The original Jedi suffers the brunt of laserfire while Joruus manages to steer clear of the barrage.  Although wounded, Jorus Force leaps to the top hatch of the AT-ST and uses his lightsaber to cut a hole in the top of the Imperial walker.  As Jorus completes his goal, the walker strategically lurches.  Jorus falls off the front of the vehicle.  He attempts to crawl away as his twisted legs scratch the pavement. 

Hogan: I fear no man, no beast, evil, or you brother!!!

Hogan fires his lasers and disintegrates Jorus C’Boath.  Meanwhile, Joruus manages to reach the walker’s top.  He looks down through the hole created by Jorus’ lightsaber.  Joruus  jumps down and impales Hogan through the chest.

Joruus:  You will die now.

Hogan:  Negativity and Hulkamania. . . two things. . . that don’t. . . go. . . together. . .

Hollywood Hulk Hogan dies, crumpled over the controls.

Bryn Mawr and Central. . .

As Hobgoblin is fixing his glider in a nearby alleyway, he hears a growling noise coming from the trash cans.  Hobgoblin cautiously rises and carries two pumpkin bombs as weapons.  Before he is able to react, he looks down to see two sets of adamantium claws rip through his chest from the back. 

Darkclaw: Goodbye, bub.

Cermak and Stony Island. . .

Dark Jedi C’Boath drives the AT-ST to the new location.  The Shadow jumps from a building onto the AT-ST and travels down the lightsaber-created opening to join teammate C’Boath.  The two focus on the Doomsdays, who are standing in the road.  Steel Doomsday and Cyborg Doomsday use their brute strength to shred the AT-ST apart.  Both the Shadow and C’Boath escape.    The duo are met by the armored Titanium Man and T-X Teminator.  Titanium Man easily dispatches with the Shadow, using both his paralytic beams and concussive blasts.  Joruus attempts to strike the T-X, but its amorphic body avoids a majority of the blows.  Eventually, the clone Jedi is worn down and C’Boath skewered by the T-X. 

Dempster and East River. . .

Overlord walks down the street.  An ambulance transforms into Ratchet and a helicopter flies to the scene, transforming into Bulkhead.  The three Transformers face one another.  Bulkhead and Ratchet manage to gain the upper hand on Overlord and pin the robot to the ground.  The two are about to pummel the immense Decepticon when the three headed Dark Dragon shambles down the street.  It is only a matter of time before the combined weaponry and magic of Overlord and Dark Dragon destroy Ratchet and Bulkhead.

Madison and Western. . .

NFG Mike is riding on his green Yoshi.  Suddenly a large tail strikes the Yoshi, crushing its skull.  NFG Mike is thrown from his steed.  NFG ignites his lightsaber and faces the Scorpion.

Scorpion: Just came off the Hellicarrier.  Land suits a scorpion better than air.

NFG: Death becomes you b#Tch!!!

NFG ducks as the Scorpion’s tail lashes at him again.  While closing his eyes, NFG holds up his lightsaber and unbelievably manages to slice Scorpion’s appendage in half.  The Scorpion screams in dismay and notices Dr. Doom arriving at the scene.

Dr. Doom: Even a squirrel finds a nut once in awhile.

Dr. Doom smiles beneath his mask as he unleashes a supercharged energy burst at Scorpion, killing Mac Gargan.

NFG Mike: Thanks, dude!!!

Dr. Doom shakes his head and walks away.

NFG Mike:  Hey!  I’m coming with you man!  I coming with!!!

Roosevelt and State. . .

Ernie Harwell walks up to Jack Reacher and Dorf. 

Harwell:  Nice job, gentlemen.  I really have to hand it to you both for giving it your all.

Dorf:  Thanks, Ernie.

Ernie Harwell pulls out a gun and shoots Dorf between the eyes.  Dorf falls to the ground, dead.  Harwell then morphs into the Chameleon.  Reacher instantly reacts and the two begin to fire their guns at one another.   Reacher jumps over a car ala’ T.J. Hooker-style and lands before Jake Hawksmoor.  The urban environment has enhanced Hawksmoor’s abilities and, using his super strength, the Authority character punches Reacher in the chest, caving in his ribs and crushing his heart.  Reacher dies.  Hawksmoor and Chameleon look at one another for a brief second before they are both destroyed by the Chaos King’s dark magic.

Bryn Mar and Pulaski. . .

The S.H.I.E.L.D. Hellicarrier continues to hover above the city. The Kingpin, A.L.F. and Clone Trooper #46 stand together on the deck.  Harwell is using his blue lantern ring to stay by his teammates while in the air.  Titanium Man carries Cyborg Doomsday in one hand while grabbing onto Steel Doomsday in the other.  He drops the Doomsdays on the deck.  Before Clone Trooper #46 can fire a shot, he is incinerated by Titanium Man.  The Kingpin is crushed by Steel Doomsday.  A.L.F. is squashed by Cyborg Doomsday.  Harwell begins to fly away, looking for teammates to assist.  He only flies a short distance before being killed by Overlord.  Overlord then fires upon the Helicarrier’s engines.  A huge eruption occurs and an explosive blast rips the ship apart.  The Hellicarrier flies out of control and crashes into the ground below.

Pershing and Yates. . .

Odin walks up to NFG Mike.

NFG: Hey Odin!?!  I know I’m on the other side, but let me be your new Odinson!!!  Together we can rule the FFL!!!!

Odin:  You are on another team and a complete embarrassment!

NFG: Okay, motherf@#ker.  No need to be rude.

NFG ignites his lightsaber.  Odin stares incredulously at the human.  Noh-Varr comes upon the scene and laughs.

NFG:  I’ll take the both of you a$$holes!

Odin:  You will do nothing of the sort.

Odin is about to kill NFG when Overlord drops on the scene and blasts the Murderfly duo.  Noh-Varr is instantly devastated, while Odin is thrown across the street.  As Odin rises, he is struck by Morgan Le Fay’s magic.  Odin falls to his knees and smiles as he notices Amatsu Mikabashi rounding the corner.

Chaos King:  Your magic is nothing compared to mine, woman!

The Chaos King uses his magic to rip LeFay apart. 

Robocop strolls down the street and begins to fire upon the enemy.  Dark Claw jumps on the cyborg and using his claws, shreds metal and slices Robocop’s head from his shoulders. 

Odin closes his eyes and gathers his strength and essence into a single, ebbing power.   The Norse god walks next to the Chaos King, who uses his magics to enhance the Odinforce to unbelievable levels.  The Odinforce focuses on all of the metallic monsters from the Highness.  Overlord, Dr. Doom, Cyborg Doomsday, Steel Doomsday, Titanium Man and T-X scream in unison as they char and slowly melt together into a massive mound of metallic mayhem.  Dark Dragon trapses to the scene and kills the weakened Odin in response to the utter devastation caused by his enhanced Odinforce.  Chaos King  then kills Dark Dragon as his magic is far superior to the Shining Force character.

Dark Claw saunters over to NFG Mike and hugs him. 

Dark Claw:  Nice try, bub.  You should be proud.

A snikt is heard and NFG Mike’s eyes turn lifeless as he crumples to the ground.