Season 7, Consolation Round 3 - Horsemen vs Turrible Decisions

Ryatu looks up from his desk inside the Horsemen clubhouse as a knock is heard on his door.  Taking the last swig of Jack Daniels from a bottle, he drops it to the floor with the others.  His anger over his loss in the conference finals has turned to depression.  The last thing he wants to do is talk to or see another person.

“Enter! You F#$%ING Loser!”

Snowflame enters his office and while he is normally very vocal and outgoing, he is extremely reserved in the presence of his owner.

“Mr Ryatu…” He begins, “some of the guys are… well… the guys were wondering why…” he struggles to get the question out.

“Spit it out SnowFu*k!” says and annoyed Ryatu who cracks open a new bottle.

“Well, sir.  It’s the trades.  We all felt like we had a good season.  Back to back 8-1 seasons, a championship last year and we went really far this year too.”

“You guys lost, Snowglobe.  That makes you ALL losers.  And I don’t keep losers on my team!” Ryatu says opening his laptop.  “So what team do you want to go to?  I hear the Rabble Rousers are looking for a bench warmer.  Maybe I’ll trade you for a dozen Smurfs”

“Please.  No.  I need to stay!” Snowflame begs,  “I’m a Horseman.  I don’t belong on any other team.  Plus I got so many guys hooked on coke that you would have half your roster in withdrawals for next year.  We aren’t losers sir.  We are a great team.”

“Pretty sure you are still a loser.” Ryatu says leaning back in his chair. “But if you want to prove me wrong, go show me where it counts.  Go show the league what happens when you f*#k with The Horsemen.”

Snowflame stands up straight with pride.  “Yes, sir” he says before turning to head out the door.  Ryatu stops him as he hovers in the threshold.

“And Snowball…” Ryatu says as Snowflame looks back, “ Send a fu#*&ing message.”

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“Quit screaming!” Snowflame yells as he is repeatedly punching Sandra Bullock in the face.  He already broke both her arms and legs to keep her in one spot.  Snowflame stops the attack and looks down on her mangled face and smiles.  The academy award winning actress has finally calmed down enough and has focused her energy on taking deep breaths.  She coughs and gags on her own blood and teeth, spitting them back in the face of her attacker.  “Dumb Bitch” he says giving her another large backhand.

He stands up and wipes the blood off his face on Care Becks’ soft belly. He has the vile bear bound and gagged with his belt and even though he is filled with rage, he can’t help but giggle as Snowflame inadvertently tickles his belly.  Snowflame slings the teddy ruxpin wanna be back over his left shoulder, secured in his belt, and sets Bullock on his right.  He climbs down to where the giant Donkey Kong lay docile on the ground.  His breathing is rhythmic but slowing. He is unable to move after having his spinal cord cut.

“Stay with me Kong.” Snowflame says. Don’t go ruining the surprise by dying on me.

“What are you going to do?” a terrified Bullock asks.

“You know who John Madden is?” Snowflame asks.  “This is going to be a sort of tribute to one of his favorite meals.”

Snowflame drops Bullock to the ground without care and taking out his knife, cuts the belly of Care Becks open and removes handfuls of stuffing.  Without the support of the cotton, Care Becks can only watch as Snowflame drops his pants and takes a dump inside the open chest cavity of the bear.

Terrified and appalled, Bullock watches as Snowflame approaches her.  “You’re next sweetie.” he says, removing her clothes and exposing her bare torso.  He stops for a second and grins as he takes in her naked form.  His grin fades and he turns the knife around in the palm of his hand.  Hovering over her, he cuts her open from sternum to navel.  Bullock nearly passes out from the pain.  Picking up the shit filled bear, Snowflame opens up the flesh of Bullock and crams the bear inside her.

In similar fashion, he opens up the belly of the beast and stuffs Bullock & Bear in with the intestines of Donkey Kong.

Taking out a Zippo, he lights it, looking into the eyes of Kong.

“Nobody Fucks with the Horsemen.” He says as he tosses the lighter.

This sets the fur of Donkey Kong on fire, engulfing the trio, who are relieved to finally die.