Season 8, Week 4 Match: George Washington's Slaves vs. Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets

“You, telling me the things you're gonna do for me,
I ain't blind and I don't like what I think I see;
Takin' it to the streets.”

            “Takin’ It to the Streets,” Doobie Brothers

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 8, Week 4 Match located in Streets of Rage.  They are as follows:

George Washington’s Slaves: Darth Shemalya with Sith Lanvarok, Josh Houslander – Samurai Warrior, Vampire Al Dogg, Metroids 19-20, CLU on Tron Cycle, Rinzler, Castor on Tron Cycle, Gem, Simon Phoenix with M202A1 Flash rocket launcher, John Rambo, Sgt. Marcus Fenix, Dominic Santiago, Augustus “Cole Train” Cole, Damon Baird, Scorpion with heat axe and red lightsaber, Prowl “Prowlmus Prime” with Autobot Matrix of Leadership, Blurr, Thunderclash, Kol Skywalker with Yoda’s Green lantern ring, Shado Vao, Loki, Woverine, Spiderman and Aunt May in the Spider Buggy, Superman, Jor El,  Brock Lesnar, Sonny Chiba with red lightsaber, Kryptonian Army Soldier 1, Cole, Gnarkk, Smurf 3 and Stormtroopers 72-74 and Silver Dragons 8-14.
 
Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets: Bizarro Mr. Mxyzpltk, Eclipso, Magneto, Toad, Age of Apocalypse Weapon X, Age of Apocalypse Cyclops, Widdle Wade with Magnoguard Electrostaff, Hare Razin Rabbit, King Randor with He-Man’s Sword of Greyskull, Wheelie, Pythona with Asaaj Ventress’ two red lightsabers, Quick Kick, Pre Viszla with dark saber and Mandalorian Armor, Jeer Dexton, Duncan Idaho (child), Hiih Ressar, Nazgul 9 with indigo lantern ring and Mordor horse, NCIS Gibbs, Dinozzo, Magee,  Ziva David, Kate, Mike Franks, Ducky, Abby, Zombie Robert Hudson, Teri Hatcher with Star Sapphire Ring, Nightbrothers 1-6, Velociraptors 21-23, X-23, Flash Thompson - Venom, Wasp, Bill Murray and Army Soldiers 101-110. 

Let the battle begin. . .

Acrimony Street. . .

Zombie Robert Hudson is beheaded, lying at the feet of Samurai Warrior Josh Houslander, who looks obnoxiously weak in his faux clothing, no matter how hard he tries for it not to be so.  Before he draws his kitana in a menacing way, Velociraptors 21, 22 and 23 rip him apart and feast on the man’s flesh.  The dinosaur pack does not notice Spiderman and Aunt May careening down the street, with Wolverine hanging onto the vehicle’s bar.  The buggy crashes into Raptor 23, killing the beast, while 21 and 22 and instantaneously skewered by Wolverine’s unsheathed claws on both hands. 

Rankling Road. . .

Vampire Al Dogg looks to the sky and sees Teri Hatcher flying with her Star Sapphire ring.  VAD smiles at the once-hot-but-currently-not-so-much actress.

VAD: Hey man!  You still be lookin’ fine for an ancient b@$ch!

Hatcher’s ring constructs a large scissors which cuts a large billboard of its mount.  She attempts to drop it on VAD, but is foiled by Kol Skywalker’s green lantern ring.  The Jedi from the Skywalker lineage easily dispels with the Desperate Housewife. 

VAD: Thanks, dude!  I owe you one!

Umbrage Boulevard. . .

Stormtroopers 72-74 exchange fire with Army Soldiers 101-110.  Due to the advancement of the Empire’s weaponry, Army Soldiers 102 (ST 72), 104 (ST 73) and 107 (ST 74) are killed almost instantly.  The remaining soldiers focus their fire on Stormtrooper 72.  Stormtrooper 72’s body is riddled by bullets and Army Soldier 101 is recognized as having the final kill shot.  Smurf 3 saunters under the motor vehicles which align the street curbs and manages to distract the remaining Army Soldiers, 101, 103, 105-110.  Stormtroopers 73 and 74 take advantage of Smurf 3’s antics and kill all remaining Army Soldiers.   Smurf 3 races over to his team, but before he is able to reach them, is hit by Wasp with a bio electric energy blast, instantly scorching his blue body.  Smurf 3’s blackened body twitches and he dies.  While the Stormtroopers watch their diminutive teammate die, they are set upon by Venom - Flash Thompson, who kills them with both his symbiotic appendages and man-made weaponry. 

Chagrin Courtyard. . .

Bill Murray walks slowly within the concrete circle.  He notices Brock Lesnar in front of him, smiles and raises his hands. 

Bill Murray: You got me, friend. 

Brock Lesnar: Eat!  Sleep!  Break the Streak!

Murray: Whatever you say, guy.  It’s all good.

As Lesnar charges Murray, the actor ducks down and Quick Kick jumps over Murray to enter the fray.   Although somewhat larger than the Real American Hero, Quick Kick still manages to cut Lesnar down with his martial art expertise.  Nonetheless, Quick Kick then faces off against Sonny Chiba, who bests the G.I. Joe with his red lightsaber and karate skills.  

Fury Avenue. . .

CLU and Castor ride their Tron cycles down the spacious avenue.  Unfortunately, they do not have the proper control of their vehicles since they are not in the Tron World, but the duo manage as best they can.  Nazgul 9 faces off against the two Slaves.  Just as Nazgul 9 is about to unleash the fury of his sword, the Mordor horse’s head is sliced off by two Tron discs thrown by Rinzler.  Nazgul 9 is thrown from his steed, but lands safely by utilizing his indigo lantern ring.  Nazgul 9 flies toward Rinzler and the enforcer is struck down by the wraith’s sword. 

Ire Road. . .

Metroids 19 and 20 float down the road and are met by Nightbrothers 1-6.  Although the Metroids manage to succumb Nightbrothers 2 and 5, the remaining Nightbrothers destroy both Metroid 19 and Metroid 20, leaving space-faring jellyfish remnants across the street. The Nightbrothers’ victory is short lived as a barrage of weaponry fire not only disperses, but decimates the Star Wars characters.  Sgt. Marcus Fenix, Dominic Santiago, Augustus “Cole Train” Cole and Damon Baird have arrived.  Nightbrother 1 is killed by Fenix, 3 by Baird, 4 by Santiago and 6 by Cole.  Age of Apocalypse Weapon X and Cyclops, as well as Toad and X-23 storm the Gears of War crew.   Toad’s prehensile tongue lashes onto Baird, who is then thrown to Weapon X and sliced apart.  Cole is blasted by Cyclops and is decimated before he can fire a shot.  X-23 unleashes on Santiago and is killed in a matter of minutes.  Fenix manages to blast Toad, sending him to the Graveyard, but succumbs to the double skewering by both AoA Weapon X and X-23. 

Indignation Alley. . .

The NCIS team, being Gibbs, Dinozzo, Magee, Ziva David, Kate, Mike Franks, Ducky and Abby scan and study the trash cans and bags located throughout the area for clues as to the origin of the frost covered items. 

Gibbs: What do you think Ducky?

Ducky:  The frost appears to be affiliated with a living entity.

Abby: Entities!!!

Dinozzo:  Look to the sky!!!

David: Get down!!!

The frost emanated from Silver Dragons 8-14, as has been discovered by the humans.  Although they rush for cover within the bins and garbage, they are all unsuccessful as they are sprayed by a paralyzing gas.  The dragons engulf the entire crew, each belching as the NCIS member slides down their respective gullets – Gibbs by SD 9, Dinozzo by SD 13, Magee by SD 8, Ziva David by SD 11, Kate and Abby by SD 14, Mike Franks by SD 10 and Ducky by SD 12.

Acerbity Avenue. . .

Blurr and Thunderclash stand together with Prowlmus Prime against a lone Wheelie.  The giant robots battle, but the single Midget is not match for the might of the trio and is destroyed, with Prowl delivering the final blow.  Magneto steps from behind the dismantled Wheelie.

Magneto:  No.

Magneto strains, using his powers of magnetism to dismantle and rip apart both Blurr and Thunderclash.  Prowlmus Prime rushes away and manages to escape.

Prowlmus:  I will be back, Magneto!

Umbrage Road. . .

Widdle Waddle crouches ready to fight with his Magnoguard electrostaff.  Both Razin Rabbit and King Randor stand alongside Waddle.  They face Gem, Simon Phoenix, John Rambo and Scorpion.  Gem is immediately electrocuted as Waddle launches at the painted singer and shoves the entire stick in an unmentionable area.  Rambo’s rippling muscles ignite as the bullets of his machine gun shred Waddle apart.  To be sure of Waddle’s death, Scorpion uses his lightsaber to cut off Waddle’s head and then cauterizes the neck with his heat axe.  King Randor using his sword, with the assistance of Hare Razin Rabbit manages to overcome and kill Scorpion.  Simon Phoenix launches his Flash rocket launcher, disintegrating both Randor the Rabbit.  Phoenix cackles and smiles at Rambo. 

Ire Avenue. . .

Cole and Gnarkk face Hiih Ressar, Jeer Dexton and the child Duncan Idaho.   The skirmish between the forces does not last long as Jeer Dexton uses his Dark Jedi powers to destroy Cole.  Gnarkk focuses on Ressar and Idaho and his caveman brutality overcomes the Dune dwellers.  Although powerful, the Gnarkk is still no match for Dexton who slices the Titan in half. 

Main Street. . .

The remaining Slaves, being Vampire Al Dogg, CLU, Rinzler, Castor, Simon Phoenix, John Rambo, Prowl “Prowlmus Prime”,  Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Loki, Woverine, Spiderman, Sonny Chiba and Aunt May stand behind Superman, Jor-El,  Kryptonian Army Soldier 1 and Silver Dragons 8-14. 

Meanwhile, the remaining Midgets: AoA Weapon X, AoA Cyclops, Pythona Pre Viszla, Jeer Dexton, Nazgul 9, X-23, Flash Thompson - Venom, Wasp and Bill Murray stand behind a floating Bizarro Mr. Mxyzpltyk, Eclipso and Magneto. 

Before the skirmish can begin Eclipso and Bizarro Mr. Mxyzpltyk dispel with the entire band of Silver Dragons 8-14, through a combination of space wizardry and energy blasts. Vampire Al Dogg races at Bill Murray and manages to sink his teeth deeply in the neck of the comedian. 

VAD: You taste yummy bud!

Although mortally wounded, Murray smiles as he sees AoA Weapon X skewer VAD through the heart, which then bursts into a pile of dust.    

CLU and Castor are blown off their bikes by the optic blast of AoA Cyclops, who is then cut down respectively by X-23 and Venom.   The carnage continues as both Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao are killed by Pythona, Dexton and Viszla.  Viszla falls soon after to Kryptonian Army Soldier 1.   Nazgul 9 obtains his final revenge against Rinzler before being destroyed by the Trickster god Loki.  The combined weaponry and dexterity of Phoenix, Rambo and Chiba take out Pythona, notwithstanding her use of two lightsabers.   In the end though, Rambo is killed by AoA Weapon X, who then falls to the original Wolverine.   Phoenix is killed by Venom and shortly thereafter, Chiba is killed by Wasp.  AoA Cyclops shreds Aunt May with an optic blast.  In retaliation, Spiderman unleashes a fury of punches in retaliation, breaking Cyclops’s neck. 

Prowlmus: We meet again, Magneto.

Magneto:  Not the same result, coward.

Magneto magnetically crushes Prowl before the Transformer can reach the mutant.  While distracted though, Superman and Jor-El kill Magneto with well placed punches through his skull.  Eclipso retaliates and manages to kill Jor-El, but dies at Superman’s hands.  Loki manages to discombobulate Bizarro Mxyzlplyk, who is sent to his death, but not before himself killing Kryptonian Army Soldier 1.  Woverine skewers X-23.   Spiderman destroys Venom.   Superman and Loki take out Jeer Dexton and Wasp, respectively.  Loki, Superman, Spiderman and Wolverine stand within the layers of final carnage.

Darth Shemalya walks through the decimation and detritus scattered throughout the Streets of Rage.  A worn Superman looks at her in puzzlement.

Superman: Where were you?

Darth Shemalya:  Planning.

A muffled growl is heard from Wolverine.

Spiderman:  For what?

Darth Shemalya smiles and walks away, waiting for her teammates to follow.