“Me like the fries to eat.”
-Fry Guy #1
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 10 Match located on the Moon. They are as follows:
Horsemen of Apokolips: Phoenix-Jean Grey, Hal Jordan Parallax (w/ 2 green lantern rings, a red lantern ring and Sinestro's yellow lantern ring) and Fry Guy #1.
The Untouchables: Franklin Richards, Black Lantern Invisible Woman, Black Lantern Human Torch, Zombie Thing and Warblade.
Let the battle begin. . .
Zombie Thing shambles across the moon’s surface. He looks in the sky to see a very large yellow scissors approach. Zombie Thing has a “what-the-heck” expression on his deadened mug. Hal Jordan Parallax manipulates his ring to close his tool of undead death. Zombie Thing’s head is cut off and his body falls.
Warblade (in pressurized moon garb) uses his fingers to form into organic steel and slices Fry Guy #1’s left leg off. Fry Guy #1 hops across the moon with his right leg, using the lack of gravity as an asset. Warblade is faster though and he slices Fry Guy #1’s right leg off. A de-legged Fry Guy #1 mumbles something to Warblade. Warblade shrugs and rips the pom pon body apart.
Warblade: Always liked Burger King better. . .
Black Lantern Invisible Woman and Black Lantern Human Torch battle Hal Jordan Parallax. The combined emotional projections of Hal Jordan Parallax utilizing his innate Parallax powers and the multi-colored bling barrage the Black Lanterns. Although the BL’s manage to dislodge one green lantern ring from HJP’s finger, both BLs eventually succumb to HJP’s superior force.
After disposing of the BLs, Franklin Richards (in moon garb) meets HJP. Richards uses his psionic abilities to rip off the other green lantern ring and red lantern ring. While focused on HJP, Phoenix comes from behind Richards and uses the Phoenix Force to destroy the young “FF” member.
Warblade screams a battle cry and floats toward the remaining Horsemen. Warblade is decimated by the combined powers of Phoenix and HJP.
Horsemen of Apokolips: Phoenix and Hal Jordan Parallax survive.
The Untouchables: All dead.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
[As a footnote: I would like to state for the record that the Untouchables should have won this match since the wife always “wins” in a battle of the spouses. It was only after extensive research that I learned of Ryan’s testes being held in Amy’s purse and that Ryan is the actual “wife” of the relationship. . . welcome to the club].
Thursday, May 12, 2011
George Washington's Slaves vs. The Transfoamers
“RUSTY!!!”
-Cosmo Kramer
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 10 Match located on the Moon. They are as follows:
George Washington’s Slaves: Starship Troopers #1-4, Cosmo Kramer, Gonzo and Kamilla.
The Transfoamers: Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing, Starscream’s Ghost, Darth Rage and Auric Goldfinger.
Let the battle begin. . .
Due to a professional courtesy espoused upon the combatants by this Watcher, a space station has been placed upon the moon for the combatants. Inside, Gonzo is seen tied to a table, bound by his arms and legs. Gonzo looks up at Auric Goldfinger.
Auric Goldfinger: Tell me where the others are. I know they are here.
Gonzo: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Gonzo. I expect you to die.
Goldfinger activates a laser that is about to cut Gonzo in half when he is ambushed by Kamilla. Chicken feathers fly everywhere and Goldfinger falls to the floor. The Bond villain rises and pulls out a gun. As he is about to shoot Kamilla, his body is riddled by bullets. Goldfinger falls; dead. Cosmo Kramer steps from the shadows, a gun in his hand.
Kramer: Giddyup!
Kramer is joined by Starship Troopers #1-4. The Slaves walk through the station, anxiously looking for their enemy. They come upon Darth Rage. Rage ignites his lightsaber. As the Sith is about to face the entire Slaves’ team, the station is barraged by the proton torpedoes of Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing. Starscream’s Ghost joins the fray and blasts the station. The structure begins to crumble and with it, Kamilla is crushed.
Gonzo: You will be avenged my love!
Gonzo joins Kramer and the Troopers as they all put on space suits and fly out of the station’s portal. Darth Rage locates the final pressurized suit and flies out of the station following the Slaves. Just as he is about to reach Kramer, he is accidentally shredded by the Y-Wing’s laser fire. The blast throws Kramer toward the Y-Wing and his body is sucked into the right fuselage. The Y-Wing erupts in fire, but Iceman manages to steady the starship and blasts Starship Troopers #3 and 4 in the process. Starscream’s Ghost focuses on Gonzo and Starship Troopers #1 and 2. The Transformer destroys the troopers and Gonzo’s body, like Kramer before, is thrown into the Y-Wing’s other fuselage. The intensity of the damage suffered by the Y-Wing due to Kramer and Gonzo is too much. The vehicle, as well as its fliers, Iceman and Slider, are destroyed.
George Washington’s Slaves: All dead.
The Transfoamers: Starscream’s Ghost survives.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
-Cosmo Kramer
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 10 Match located on the Moon. They are as follows:
George Washington’s Slaves: Starship Troopers #1-4, Cosmo Kramer, Gonzo and Kamilla.
The Transfoamers: Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing, Starscream’s Ghost, Darth Rage and Auric Goldfinger.
Let the battle begin. . .
Due to a professional courtesy espoused upon the combatants by this Watcher, a space station has been placed upon the moon for the combatants. Inside, Gonzo is seen tied to a table, bound by his arms and legs. Gonzo looks up at Auric Goldfinger.
Auric Goldfinger: Tell me where the others are. I know they are here.
Gonzo: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Gonzo. I expect you to die.
Goldfinger activates a laser that is about to cut Gonzo in half when he is ambushed by Kamilla. Chicken feathers fly everywhere and Goldfinger falls to the floor. The Bond villain rises and pulls out a gun. As he is about to shoot Kamilla, his body is riddled by bullets. Goldfinger falls; dead. Cosmo Kramer steps from the shadows, a gun in his hand.
Kramer: Giddyup!
Kramer is joined by Starship Troopers #1-4. The Slaves walk through the station, anxiously looking for their enemy. They come upon Darth Rage. Rage ignites his lightsaber. As the Sith is about to face the entire Slaves’ team, the station is barraged by the proton torpedoes of Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing. Starscream’s Ghost joins the fray and blasts the station. The structure begins to crumble and with it, Kamilla is crushed.
Gonzo: You will be avenged my love!
Gonzo joins Kramer and the Troopers as they all put on space suits and fly out of the station’s portal. Darth Rage locates the final pressurized suit and flies out of the station following the Slaves. Just as he is about to reach Kramer, he is accidentally shredded by the Y-Wing’s laser fire. The blast throws Kramer toward the Y-Wing and his body is sucked into the right fuselage. The Y-Wing erupts in fire, but Iceman manages to steady the starship and blasts Starship Troopers #3 and 4 in the process. Starscream’s Ghost focuses on Gonzo and Starship Troopers #1 and 2. The Transformer destroys the troopers and Gonzo’s body, like Kramer before, is thrown into the Y-Wing’s other fuselage. The intensity of the damage suffered by the Y-Wing due to Kramer and Gonzo is too much. The vehicle, as well as its fliers, Iceman and Slider, are destroyed.
George Washington’s Slaves: All dead.
The Transfoamers: Starscream’s Ghost survives.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
TEAM vs The Untouchables
TEAM is: Max, Gort, Tao, Anri, Diane, Torre, & Khris from the Shining Force, Luke Skywalker, R2D2, C3P0, Amy Poteracki, The Beyonder, and Krang.
The Untouchables are: Green Arrow, Black Canary, Pyro, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid.
(This battle was watched by Watcher Mikatu.)
The Swamps of Dagobah are silent except for the chirping of some unknown space bug.
Max, Gort, Tao, Anri, Diane, Torre, and Khris are all trudging through the swamps in search of their opponents.
Max: “I was told this fight was in the Dagobah SYSTEM; not on dagobah proper, If I had known we would be dragging our boots through this muck I would have brought a change of clothes.”
Gort: “Ach, Aye, this sludge is worse than Diane’s combat skills.”
Max: “Oh shut up, just because she’s…. ok yeah she sucks, you’re right.”
The Beyonder: “SILENCE! We do not have time for your inane prattle, the battle is nearly upon us!”
Unfortunately for the Beyonder, heavy hitters tend to get ganged up on around here, the combined forces of the Legion of Superheroes have set up position and all unload on him at once. Bouncing Boy is slammed into the ground at his feet and bounces up, striking the Beyonder in the chin, dazing him. While the Beyonder reels from the impact Lightning Lad pours 1.21 gigawats of pure energy into the semi-omnipotent creature.
The Beyonder tries to cling to the nearest insulator to let the electricity flow through him but the damp air and even more damp ground of Dagobah keeps the electricity flowing through him until his eyes boil in his skull and run down his cheeks like two over easy eggs.
R2D2: “Bweep boop boop dweet” (Translation: That was messed up!)
C3P0: “Oh my yes, he didn’t stand a chance, you should really get us out of here R2.”
R2D2: “Eng-eng beep boodoo boop badeep boop boop.” (Translation: there’s no way I can get us out of here…)
C3P0: “What do you mean you can’t get us out of here? Remember when you used to fly and set things on fire? Oh nevermind, you overweight rustbucket. We can walk.”
R2D2: “Bwoooooop-woop-woop!” (Translation: oh that’s IT!...)
And with this R2 Spews muddy waste oil all over C3P0 and uses the last bit of juice in his thrusters to set the annoying gold robot on fire.
R2D2: “Beep beep beep boop” (Translation: I’ve been waiting to do that since 2 ABY)
The Screaming and flaming (in more ways than one…) Robot draws the attention of Green Arrow and Black Canary.
They’re investigating the pile of melting scrap when Amy Poteracki springs out of the mud like Arnold in Predator. She drags black canary down by her fishnets and forces her face into the swamp.
Amy: “Try screaming under water you bimbo! And what is with that outfit? I mean a Leather Onesie with fishnets? Really?” Black Canary Stops twitching just before Green Arrow puts a punching bag arrow into the back of Amy’s head, sending her unconscious into the same watery grave his wife is now resting partially in.
Luke: “Aw man! Why did you have to go and do that? The last brunette I was with ended up being my sister and now this one is dead before I can even put the old “jedi mind trick” to good use!”
Green Arrow: “Don’t you have some power converters to buy somewhere?”
Luke: “Yes, I do need to go to Tosche station to pick up some power converters but jerks like you, and vader, and the Wampa keep interrupting me! My whole life has just been one stupid roadblock after another… but now.. NOW I will finally sweep all of these insignificant obstacles out of my way and get my hands on those sweet sweet power converters. I’m gonna convert so much frikkin power you have no idea!”
With this, Luke summons all his strength, drawing on his familiarity with the territory and he summons a Force Swamp Typhoon. The water swirls, chunks of debris fly in every direction, puncturing ancient trees and combatants alike.
The Typhoon smashes into Green Arrow breaking his spine and sending all the arrows in his quiver in an arc towards Pyro, the arrows slam into pyro, followed shortly by Green Arrow himself, killing him instantly.
Unfortunately Luke seems to have lost himself to the dark side, the promise of power converters is just too much temptation for him to overcome, and the typhoon sweeps up the remaining shining force members and Bouncing boy, the debris and sheer force of wind puree’s the video game heroes and the Legion member into a slurry of broken bone and meat.
Triplicate girl charges headlong at Luke in an effort to put him down but he focuses his energy at her clamping down on her trachea, choking the life out of her.
“AAAHHH!” he hears from both sides. He shakes his head to clear the confusion, surely the sound the dying girl is making shouldn’t be that loud.
He doesn’t realize the other two copies of Triplicate girl are sharing her pain. They are also on top of him.
One of the copies takes Luke’s lightsaber off his belt and drives it through his midsection, killing him.
Triplicate girl is reeling from the death of one of her copies. Unfortunately in her collapsed state she is easy prey for Krang who rams one of his gross brain stalk arms into her mouth suffocating her to death.
Karate Kid and Timberwolf finish the fight by drop kicking a gloating Krang directly into R2, shattering the robot and splattering the evil villain.
In a matter of hours the swamps will clean the remnants of the battle and it will be as if nothing had happened here. But that will not change the fact that:
The Untouchables Are Victorious!
Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid. Survive.
The Untouchables are: Green Arrow, Black Canary, Pyro, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid.
(This battle was watched by Watcher Mikatu.)
The Swamps of Dagobah are silent except for the chirping of some unknown space bug.
Max, Gort, Tao, Anri, Diane, Torre, and Khris are all trudging through the swamps in search of their opponents.
Max: “I was told this fight was in the Dagobah SYSTEM; not on dagobah proper, If I had known we would be dragging our boots through this muck I would have brought a change of clothes.”
Gort: “Ach, Aye, this sludge is worse than Diane’s combat skills.”
Max: “Oh shut up, just because she’s…. ok yeah she sucks, you’re right.”
The Beyonder: “SILENCE! We do not have time for your inane prattle, the battle is nearly upon us!”
Unfortunately for the Beyonder, heavy hitters tend to get ganged up on around here, the combined forces of the Legion of Superheroes have set up position and all unload on him at once. Bouncing Boy is slammed into the ground at his feet and bounces up, striking the Beyonder in the chin, dazing him. While the Beyonder reels from the impact Lightning Lad pours 1.21 gigawats of pure energy into the semi-omnipotent creature.
The Beyonder tries to cling to the nearest insulator to let the electricity flow through him but the damp air and even more damp ground of Dagobah keeps the electricity flowing through him until his eyes boil in his skull and run down his cheeks like two over easy eggs.
R2D2: “Bweep boop boop dweet” (Translation: That was messed up!)
C3P0: “Oh my yes, he didn’t stand a chance, you should really get us out of here R2.”
R2D2: “Eng-eng beep boodoo boop badeep boop boop.” (Translation: there’s no way I can get us out of here…)
C3P0: “What do you mean you can’t get us out of here? Remember when you used to fly and set things on fire? Oh nevermind, you overweight rustbucket. We can walk.”
R2D2: “Bwoooooop-woop-woop!” (Translation: oh that’s IT!...)
And with this R2 Spews muddy waste oil all over C3P0 and uses the last bit of juice in his thrusters to set the annoying gold robot on fire.
R2D2: “Beep beep beep boop” (Translation: I’ve been waiting to do that since 2 ABY)
The Screaming and flaming (in more ways than one…) Robot draws the attention of Green Arrow and Black Canary.
They’re investigating the pile of melting scrap when Amy Poteracki springs out of the mud like Arnold in Predator. She drags black canary down by her fishnets and forces her face into the swamp.
Amy: “Try screaming under water you bimbo! And what is with that outfit? I mean a Leather Onesie with fishnets? Really?” Black Canary Stops twitching just before Green Arrow puts a punching bag arrow into the back of Amy’s head, sending her unconscious into the same watery grave his wife is now resting partially in.
Luke: “Aw man! Why did you have to go and do that? The last brunette I was with ended up being my sister and now this one is dead before I can even put the old “jedi mind trick” to good use!”
Green Arrow: “Don’t you have some power converters to buy somewhere?”
Luke: “Yes, I do need to go to Tosche station to pick up some power converters but jerks like you, and vader, and the Wampa keep interrupting me! My whole life has just been one stupid roadblock after another… but now.. NOW I will finally sweep all of these insignificant obstacles out of my way and get my hands on those sweet sweet power converters. I’m gonna convert so much frikkin power you have no idea!”
With this, Luke summons all his strength, drawing on his familiarity with the territory and he summons a Force Swamp Typhoon. The water swirls, chunks of debris fly in every direction, puncturing ancient trees and combatants alike.
The Typhoon smashes into Green Arrow breaking his spine and sending all the arrows in his quiver in an arc towards Pyro, the arrows slam into pyro, followed shortly by Green Arrow himself, killing him instantly.
Unfortunately Luke seems to have lost himself to the dark side, the promise of power converters is just too much temptation for him to overcome, and the typhoon sweeps up the remaining shining force members and Bouncing boy, the debris and sheer force of wind puree’s the video game heroes and the Legion member into a slurry of broken bone and meat.
Triplicate girl charges headlong at Luke in an effort to put him down but he focuses his energy at her clamping down on her trachea, choking the life out of her.
“AAAHHH!” he hears from both sides. He shakes his head to clear the confusion, surely the sound the dying girl is making shouldn’t be that loud.
He doesn’t realize the other two copies of Triplicate girl are sharing her pain. They are also on top of him.
One of the copies takes Luke’s lightsaber off his belt and drives it through his midsection, killing him.
Triplicate girl is reeling from the death of one of her copies. Unfortunately in her collapsed state she is easy prey for Krang who rams one of his gross brain stalk arms into her mouth suffocating her to death.
Karate Kid and Timberwolf finish the fight by drop kicking a gloating Krang directly into R2, shattering the robot and splattering the evil villain.
In a matter of hours the swamps will clean the remnants of the battle and it will be as if nothing had happened here. But that will not change the fact that:
The Untouchables Are Victorious!
Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid. Survive.
Better than all of you Vs The Transfoamers
Better Than All of You is …
Lonestar & Barf in Imperial Shuttle,2 Jedi Guardians in A Wing, Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk ,Ole Anderson ,Terminator # 27,Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50
The Transfoamers are…
B.L. Darth Bane, B.L. Darth Rave, Zam Wessal, Ancient Gizan Swordsmen #19, Jedi Masters #9, 29, and 34.
Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk, Ole Anderson, Terminator # 27, Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50 are all marching through the swamp arguing about who has the best plan. Obviously the terminator has the best plan but no one wants to listen to him because he’s a robot. Frankly I don’t blame them. After about 20 minutes of walking, the guys come across Zam wessal and the Ancient Gizan Swordsmen#19. The group pounces all at once Zam Wessal is unable to get off even a single shot before Ole Anderson bashes her head in with a steal chair. The Gizan swordsmen keeps them at bay for a moment but is rushed and over taken by terminator#27. The Swordsmen is then folded in half the hard way. The 3 Jedi Masters rush to engage their enemies but suddenly Jedi Master # 34 stops running.
Jedi Master#34: I sense a disturbance in the force.
Black lantern Darth Rave: don’t worry its just me.
Jedi Master# 34: yea you wish, this is a lot bigger.
A frail old looking man walks out of a dark, fowl cave. The man looks up, points out his finger like a gun, then points at each member of better than all of you while simultaneously using the force to implode their skulls. He then removes his cloak and charges the Jedi. The decapitates all of them in under 30 seconds. Then the plucks the ships out of the sky and smashes them into one another killing all aboard.
Black lantern Darth Rave: That was the coolest thing I have ever seen, we should hang out some time my names Darth rave.
Black Lantern Darth Bane: What was your name?
Black lantern Darth Rave: Darth Ra.
Darth Bane has just enforced the rule of two by killing Darth Rave. Their can be only one!………..and one apprentice that’s fine I mean come on it would get pretty boring just bein by yourself all the time.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Better than all of you: ALL DEAD
The Transfoamers: Black lantern Darth Bane survives
Lonestar & Barf in Imperial Shuttle,2 Jedi Guardians in A Wing, Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk ,Ole Anderson ,Terminator # 27,Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50
The Transfoamers are…
B.L. Darth Bane, B.L. Darth Rave, Zam Wessal, Ancient Gizan Swordsmen #19, Jedi Masters #9, 29, and 34.
Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk, Ole Anderson, Terminator # 27, Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50 are all marching through the swamp arguing about who has the best plan. Obviously the terminator has the best plan but no one wants to listen to him because he’s a robot. Frankly I don’t blame them. After about 20 minutes of walking, the guys come across Zam wessal and the Ancient Gizan Swordsmen#19. The group pounces all at once Zam Wessal is unable to get off even a single shot before Ole Anderson bashes her head in with a steal chair. The Gizan swordsmen keeps them at bay for a moment but is rushed and over taken by terminator#27. The Swordsmen is then folded in half the hard way. The 3 Jedi Masters rush to engage their enemies but suddenly Jedi Master # 34 stops running.
Jedi Master#34: I sense a disturbance in the force.
Black lantern Darth Rave: don’t worry its just me.
Jedi Master# 34: yea you wish, this is a lot bigger.
A frail old looking man walks out of a dark, fowl cave. The man looks up, points out his finger like a gun, then points at each member of better than all of you while simultaneously using the force to implode their skulls. He then removes his cloak and charges the Jedi. The decapitates all of them in under 30 seconds. Then the plucks the ships out of the sky and smashes them into one another killing all aboard.
Black lantern Darth Rave: That was the coolest thing I have ever seen, we should hang out some time my names Darth rave.
Black Lantern Darth Bane: What was your name?
Black lantern Darth Rave: Darth Ra.
Darth Bane has just enforced the rule of two by killing Darth Rave. Their can be only one!………..and one apprentice that’s fine I mean come on it would get pretty boring just bein by yourself all the time.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Better than all of you: ALL DEAD
The Transfoamers: Black lantern Darth Bane survives
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs Oblivio
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches are…
Lizard, Gambit, Killer Croc, Michael Myers, Samara, and Black Lantern Parallax.
Oblivio is …
Shredder w/ mithril vest, chucky w/ Yellow power ring, Tiffany w/ Star Sapphire ring, Jet Jaguar, Junkion#25, Junkion#26, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax w/ Kyle’s Green Lantern ring.
Junkion#25: Ladies and Gentlemen Start your engines! The Show is about to begin.
Shredder: Silence you fools, You’ll give us away.
From behind a Gnarltree: Too late mon ami.
Shredder is hit with three explosive objects. He’s down. Gambit now shows himself and charges the junkion’s, He hits number 25 with about 6 or 7 to each of his legs blowing them to bits. Remy then uses the downed robot to jump onto Junkion# 26 and charge a large section of his lower torso, that shortly explodes and rips the robot apart. Shredder has recovered and is now back in the fight.
Gambit: I thought you’s dead from b’fore? Welp, no matter you will be soon.
The two men rush to square off, they both throw quick combos, but neither man lands. Gambit finally hits shredder in the head with his staff wobbling the Leader of The Foot. Gambit smells blood and attacks but Shredder hits him with a spinning back kick to the body. Oroku then lands a hard kick to the body, which is even more devastating than normal on account of the bladed shin guards. Shredder swings for his wounded foes head but gambit parries the attack, grabs a hold of Oroku’s right hand blade and charges it. Shredder doesn’t even try to take it off because he know he doesn’t have enough time and he would just damage his other hand. So he simple holds it above his head and doesn’t even flinch when it explodes, he just goes right back to fighting. By this time though Gambit has already turned around to face Junkion# 26 who now has a T.V. to replaces the chunk gambit destroyed. But on that T.V. is a very special little girl. Samara has invaded gambits mind and stopped him dead in his tracks. Shredder see’s what has happened but still runs up an stabs Gambit to death from behind, then runs away to take care of his wound.
Chucky: Where the F***K ARE THESE P*****S! I WANA GUT SOMEONE NOW F***K!
Tiffany: Would you stop. I know you were always all about killing people, but ever since you got that ring its like all you wanna do is kill people. Can‘t we just hold hands and talk like we used to.
Chucky: Yea well ever since you got your F****IN ring you’ve been a whiny B***H!
The arguing couple come across teammate Shredder who is sitting on a log, by one of the swamps tending to his stump.
Chucky: Yo Captain Can opener, were are the soon to be dead people?
Shredder points in the direction he just came from. As soon as his teammates are gone, KILLER CROC BURSTS OUT OF THE WATER BEHIND HIM! Croc bites down hard on shredders exposed neck and drags him underwater, after a brief struggle The Leader of The Foot is no more.
Chucky and Tiffany come across the lifeless bodies of Gambit and the Junkion’s. Samara begins to make creepy noises and then climbs out of the T.V.
Chucky: Oh not this B***h. I am gana take my time killing her.
Tiffany: I actually totally agree with you on this one.
Chucky uses his power ring to make a medieval torture rack and has placed Samara in it. As Chucky starts turning the wheel and laughing at all the pain he’s causing Tiffany realizes how much she loves killing. So she and chucky begin turning to wheel together finally ripping all four limbs off. Chucky hands her his light saber and she cuts of Samara’s head. The two dolls grab each other and have freaky doll sex, right there in the Degobah muck.
Suddenly Killer croc and Lizard jump out of the near by swamp, croc heaves a large rock at tiffany that she doesn’t even see coming. Tiffany is crushed to death. Chucky goes ape s**t and uses his powers to form two large scourges that he uses to beat the lizard and the croc the death with. Seeing his opportunity the newly born Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax fly’s up behind the heart broken chucky ,who is still flogging the chunks of meat, and plunges his favorite kitchen knife right through the dolls bulbous head. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax turns and fly’s right trough the chest of Jet Jaguar. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax is now face to face with Kyle Rayner-Parallax, MMBLP charges, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax just smiles then shoots a beam of green and yellow energy the destroys MMBLP.
p.s. I went back and looked at my tapes just to make sure i didn't leave out any action. I found another angle under water and Killer croc clearly skull f***k's Shredder to death.
OBLIVIO IS VICTORIOUS!
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches: ALL DEAD
Oblivio: Kyle Rayner-Parallax survives
Lizard, Gambit, Killer Croc, Michael Myers, Samara, and Black Lantern Parallax.
Oblivio is …
Shredder w/ mithril vest, chucky w/ Yellow power ring, Tiffany w/ Star Sapphire ring, Jet Jaguar, Junkion#25, Junkion#26, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax w/ Kyle’s Green Lantern ring.
Junkion#25: Ladies and Gentlemen Start your engines! The Show is about to begin.
Shredder: Silence you fools, You’ll give us away.
From behind a Gnarltree: Too late mon ami.
Shredder is hit with three explosive objects. He’s down. Gambit now shows himself and charges the junkion’s, He hits number 25 with about 6 or 7 to each of his legs blowing them to bits. Remy then uses the downed robot to jump onto Junkion# 26 and charge a large section of his lower torso, that shortly explodes and rips the robot apart. Shredder has recovered and is now back in the fight.
Gambit: I thought you’s dead from b’fore? Welp, no matter you will be soon.
The two men rush to square off, they both throw quick combos, but neither man lands. Gambit finally hits shredder in the head with his staff wobbling the Leader of The Foot. Gambit smells blood and attacks but Shredder hits him with a spinning back kick to the body. Oroku then lands a hard kick to the body, which is even more devastating than normal on account of the bladed shin guards. Shredder swings for his wounded foes head but gambit parries the attack, grabs a hold of Oroku’s right hand blade and charges it. Shredder doesn’t even try to take it off because he know he doesn’t have enough time and he would just damage his other hand. So he simple holds it above his head and doesn’t even flinch when it explodes, he just goes right back to fighting. By this time though Gambit has already turned around to face Junkion# 26 who now has a T.V. to replaces the chunk gambit destroyed. But on that T.V. is a very special little girl. Samara has invaded gambits mind and stopped him dead in his tracks. Shredder see’s what has happened but still runs up an stabs Gambit to death from behind, then runs away to take care of his wound.
Chucky: Where the F***K ARE THESE P*****S! I WANA GUT SOMEONE NOW F***K!
Tiffany: Would you stop. I know you were always all about killing people, but ever since you got that ring its like all you wanna do is kill people. Can‘t we just hold hands and talk like we used to.
Chucky: Yea well ever since you got your F****IN ring you’ve been a whiny B***H!
The arguing couple come across teammate Shredder who is sitting on a log, by one of the swamps tending to his stump.
Chucky: Yo Captain Can opener, were are the soon to be dead people?
Shredder points in the direction he just came from. As soon as his teammates are gone, KILLER CROC BURSTS OUT OF THE WATER BEHIND HIM! Croc bites down hard on shredders exposed neck and drags him underwater, after a brief struggle The Leader of The Foot is no more.
Chucky and Tiffany come across the lifeless bodies of Gambit and the Junkion’s. Samara begins to make creepy noises and then climbs out of the T.V.
Chucky: Oh not this B***h. I am gana take my time killing her.
Tiffany: I actually totally agree with you on this one.
Chucky uses his power ring to make a medieval torture rack and has placed Samara in it. As Chucky starts turning the wheel and laughing at all the pain he’s causing Tiffany realizes how much she loves killing. So she and chucky begin turning to wheel together finally ripping all four limbs off. Chucky hands her his light saber and she cuts of Samara’s head. The two dolls grab each other and have freaky doll sex, right there in the Degobah muck.
Suddenly Killer croc and Lizard jump out of the near by swamp, croc heaves a large rock at tiffany that she doesn’t even see coming. Tiffany is crushed to death. Chucky goes ape s**t and uses his powers to form two large scourges that he uses to beat the lizard and the croc the death with. Seeing his opportunity the newly born Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax fly’s up behind the heart broken chucky ,who is still flogging the chunks of meat, and plunges his favorite kitchen knife right through the dolls bulbous head. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax turns and fly’s right trough the chest of Jet Jaguar. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax is now face to face with Kyle Rayner-Parallax, MMBLP charges, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax just smiles then shoots a beam of green and yellow energy the destroys MMBLP.
p.s. I went back and looked at my tapes just to make sure i didn't leave out any action. I found another angle under water and Killer croc clearly skull f***k's Shredder to death.
OBLIVIO IS VICTORIOUS!
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches: ALL DEAD
Oblivio: Kyle Rayner-Parallax survives
Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade vs "I think it's "Pretty Cool" that we killed Bin Laden" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "Good luck beating me in 2012 now B!*@#!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's
Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade is (Pre Suit) Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, Power Girl, Red Lantern #3, Baron Fel & Andrew Laidlaw in an F-14 and Phil Day w/a Sith Lavarouk.
"I think it's "Pretty Cool" that we killed Bin Laden" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "Good luck beating me in 2012 now B!*@#!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's are President Barack Obama, Earth Two Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Buffy Summers, Spider-Man, and Harry Potter.
As the Commandos are teleported down to Dagobah Earth Two Superman reminded the President once again how he left him on the bench last week, and in Metropolis of all places. “Sorry about that Superman, I was just a little pre occupied and, well, simply overlooked you,” Obama responds. But before they can continue their discussion, Emperor Palpatine fries the President with a massive blast of Sith Lightning. “You killed our fourth on my bowling team last week, you son of a B!#^$,” exclaims Palpatine as he kills the Head Coach of the Commandos. Earth Two Superman then flies faster than a speeding bullet and grabs the Emperor by his throat, crushing it in the process. Power Girl then flies in and lands a mean double uppercut to Earth Two Superman’s chin, sending him flying high into the air. She quickly flies after him as the rest of the battle wages on.
Baron Fel and Andrew Laidlaw, in their F-14, are doing strafing runs as Black Lantern Optimus Prime flies up out of the swamp to attack them. He uses his ring to propel him towards the jet as they are on a direct collision course. The jet slams into the transformer and there is a massive explosion in the air. Once the dust settles, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, floats there unscathed. He then flies back down to continue his rampage. Harry Potter uses his vast magical abilities to make quick work of Phil Day, but is then confronted by Lord Vader. The Sith Lord block the wizard’s spells with both his mastery of the Force and his lightsaber. Harry isn’t quick enough to react to Vader’s next move, which is leaping over Potter and relieving him of his head. Darth Vader then sees Black Lantern Optimus Prime and focuses all of his powers and blasts the Transformer with a powerful bolt of Sith Lightning. Prime is stunning and taken down to one knee, which is all the opening Vader needs. He leaps into the air, draws his lightsaber and drives it deep into the back of the head of Black Lantern Optimus Prime. The transformer jerks to a standing position, screaming in agony and knocking Darth Vader off of him. The Sith Lord then follows up with another bolt of Sith Lightning, which finally kills Black Lantern Optimus.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man is having one hell of a time trying to evade Red Lantern #3. The rage fueled woman is setting the entire battlefield on Dagobah ablaze with her red energy, which is also burning up Spidey’s webs. Spider-Man finally gains some cover behind Black Lantern Optimus’s fallen carcass. He then back flips over it and onto the back of Red Lantern #3 and unloads both of his web shooters all over his head and completely encasing it. This allows Spider-Man to kick Red Lantern #3 down to the swamp. The two of them crash into the swamp, but Red Lantern #3 does not survive the fall. “Huh, well I wasn’t planning on that happening,” Spider-Man says to himself. He takes a breather for a second, but it’s cut short, literally as his Spider Senses begin to go off like it’s New Year’s Eve in downtown Coruscant. He turns around just in time to see a blue flash in front of his eyes as Darth Vader slices Spider-Man’s head clean off.
Earth Two Superman still is completely on the defense, as Power Girl is viciously attacking her once pseudo-father (Yep, Power Girl is actually from Earth Two). Buffy Summers sees her teammate in need and leaps into the air to aid him. Buffy blindsides Power Girl and tackles her into a large tree. Earth Two Superman regains his composure and swoops over as the two Commandos double team Power Girl into oblivion. They then look down and see a confident (Pre Suit) Darth Vader standing there by the crumpled bodies of their teammates. Buffy eagerly flies down, not waiting for Superman, and goes to attack Vader. The Sith Lord leaps into the air towards the Slayer, but at the last second, she ducks out of the way allowing Earth Two Superman to hit Darth Vader square between the eyes with a lethal shot of heat vision.
THE COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
"I think it's "Pretty Cool" that we killed Bin Laden" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "Good luck beating me in 2012 now B!*@#!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's are President Barack Obama, Earth Two Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Buffy Summers, Spider-Man, and Harry Potter.
As the Commandos are teleported down to Dagobah Earth Two Superman reminded the President once again how he left him on the bench last week, and in Metropolis of all places. “Sorry about that Superman, I was just a little pre occupied and, well, simply overlooked you,” Obama responds. But before they can continue their discussion, Emperor Palpatine fries the President with a massive blast of Sith Lightning. “You killed our fourth on my bowling team last week, you son of a B!#^$,” exclaims Palpatine as he kills the Head Coach of the Commandos. Earth Two Superman then flies faster than a speeding bullet and grabs the Emperor by his throat, crushing it in the process. Power Girl then flies in and lands a mean double uppercut to Earth Two Superman’s chin, sending him flying high into the air. She quickly flies after him as the rest of the battle wages on.
Baron Fel and Andrew Laidlaw, in their F-14, are doing strafing runs as Black Lantern Optimus Prime flies up out of the swamp to attack them. He uses his ring to propel him towards the jet as they are on a direct collision course. The jet slams into the transformer and there is a massive explosion in the air. Once the dust settles, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, floats there unscathed. He then flies back down to continue his rampage. Harry Potter uses his vast magical abilities to make quick work of Phil Day, but is then confronted by Lord Vader. The Sith Lord block the wizard’s spells with both his mastery of the Force and his lightsaber. Harry isn’t quick enough to react to Vader’s next move, which is leaping over Potter and relieving him of his head. Darth Vader then sees Black Lantern Optimus Prime and focuses all of his powers and blasts the Transformer with a powerful bolt of Sith Lightning. Prime is stunning and taken down to one knee, which is all the opening Vader needs. He leaps into the air, draws his lightsaber and drives it deep into the back of the head of Black Lantern Optimus Prime. The transformer jerks to a standing position, screaming in agony and knocking Darth Vader off of him. The Sith Lord then follows up with another bolt of Sith Lightning, which finally kills Black Lantern Optimus.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man is having one hell of a time trying to evade Red Lantern #3. The rage fueled woman is setting the entire battlefield on Dagobah ablaze with her red energy, which is also burning up Spidey’s webs. Spider-Man finally gains some cover behind Black Lantern Optimus’s fallen carcass. He then back flips over it and onto the back of Red Lantern #3 and unloads both of his web shooters all over his head and completely encasing it. This allows Spider-Man to kick Red Lantern #3 down to the swamp. The two of them crash into the swamp, but Red Lantern #3 does not survive the fall. “Huh, well I wasn’t planning on that happening,” Spider-Man says to himself. He takes a breather for a second, but it’s cut short, literally as his Spider Senses begin to go off like it’s New Year’s Eve in downtown Coruscant. He turns around just in time to see a blue flash in front of his eyes as Darth Vader slices Spider-Man’s head clean off.
Earth Two Superman still is completely on the defense, as Power Girl is viciously attacking her once pseudo-father (Yep, Power Girl is actually from Earth Two). Buffy Summers sees her teammate in need and leaps into the air to aid him. Buffy blindsides Power Girl and tackles her into a large tree. Earth Two Superman regains his composure and swoops over as the two Commandos double team Power Girl into oblivion. They then look down and see a confident (Pre Suit) Darth Vader standing there by the crumpled bodies of their teammates. Buffy eagerly flies down, not waiting for Superman, and goes to attack Vader. The Sith Lord leaps into the air towards the Slayer, but at the last second, she ducks out of the way allowing Earth Two Superman to hit Darth Vader square between the eyes with a lethal shot of heat vision.
THE COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
The Abomitrons Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
The Abomitrons are Yaddle, Odin, Dark Beast, Cyborg Superman, and Immell #4 (Paddle), Immell #18 (Dr. Ray Wookie), & Ewok Child #1 in a Rhino 4 x 4.
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Oa Guardian #1 (w/ a green lantern ring), Oa Guardian #2-4, Jack Bauer, Beast Boy, & Nomi Sunrider.
Plans have no time for formulation as these two teams clash within the tiny planet of Degobah. Mini -battles erupt all over the swamps as Yaddle and Nomi Sunrider's green lightsabers clash with each other in the thick tree-tops high above the battle. The force strong area surrounding them significantly strengthens both of their Jedi powers as the two females jump around each other in an amazing display of acrobatics. Nomi takes a hard swing at her much smaller opponent, but Yaddle manages to dodge the blow and finish off Sunrider with a lightsaber sweep to the neck. The four Oa Guardians, led by the green ring wielding Guardian #1 are squaring off against the formidable duo of Cyborg Superman and Odin, while Beast Boy is rapidly changing from jaguar, to raptor, to bald eagle and back in order to try and keep up with the Rhino 4x4 that is being driven through the swampy landscape by Paddle. Dr. Ray Wookie provides cover for the vehicle with his proton pack, but Beast Boy manages to evade the blasts while keeping up with the ATV. The Ewok Child is as scared as an Ewok Child as Beast Boy in his ever-changing forms get closer and closer to The Abomitron Vehicle. Back on drier land, Jack Bauer is taking a beating like only Jack Bauer can from Dark Beast, when the CTU Agent falls to the ground and pulls a tactical knife from his boot. Dark Beast jumps high into the air in order to gain momentum for his driving aerial attack on the human, when Jack rolls out of the way and gets behind the mutant. "Look for your own dimension in Hell" Jack says as he plunges the knife deep into the throat of Dark Beast to take out the intelligent deviant. Odin summons some Asgardian Power to take out Oa Guardian #3, but before he can do it again the other three guardians overwhelm and destroy him with their cosmic powers. This leaves Cyborg Superman to battle with them high above the swampy landscape, while Beast Boy manages to land on the Rhino in Pterodactyl form and than quickly turn into a Grizzly Bear long enough to maul both Ewok Child #1 and Dr. Ray Wookie. Paddle draws her hockey stick shaped lightsaber and swings at Beast Boy, but Beast Boy turns into a howler monkey and uses his tail to knock the strange shaped lightsaber out of her hand. Beast Boy then turns in to a Rhino ( on top of the Rhino) and drives (while it is driving) his horn (while Paddle inadvertently leans on the horn) into Paddle’s chest (sorry, no vehicle pun with this one). Beast Boy jumps off of the vehicle, and instantly turns into a hawk and takes flight in order to join his Oa Guardian teammates in battle against Cyborg Superman. Cyborg Superman uses his heat vision to melt Oa Guardian #2, while he is simultaneously using his freeze breath to crack Oa Guardian #4; and this is all before Beast Boy can even get up enough height to help them out. Beast Boy flies above Cyborg Superman and turns into a Brontosaurus, right above him. This both stuns Cyborg Superman and brings him down to the ground, but in essence doesn’t necessarily work in the favor of The Kennelz. Jack Bauer grabs his Sig-Saur and joins his teammates, but Cyborg Superman regains his composure and is joined by Yaddle. Cyborg Superman delivers a punch to the face of Jack Bauer which could kill just about any human on the universe, and which sends the Federal Agent sailing in to the distance. Beast Boy turns in to a T-Rex and attempts to bite down on the body of Cyborg Superman, but the half Kryptonian grabs a hold of both sides of his jaw and completely rips Beast Boy apart in what is possibly his most powerful form. While he is in the midst of this offensive posture, Oa Guardian #1 takes the opportunity to unleash the full potential of both his green lantern ring, as well as his own cosmic powers. This amazing display of power, serves to take out Cyborg Superman once and for all, but the Oa Guardian’s release of power serves as futile as Cyborg Superman’s four year teammate Yaddle avenges him by force pushing the Guardian over and then plunging her under-sized green lightsaber in to his chest. Yaddle looks around the battlefield assuming that all are defeated; but if she thinks that no man can live through a punch from Cyborg Superman... Than she doesn’t know Jack.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS
The Abomitrons: Yaddle is the sole survivor (R.I.P. Cyborg Superman)
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Jack Bauer lives to fight another day.
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Oa Guardian #1 (w/ a green lantern ring), Oa Guardian #2-4, Jack Bauer, Beast Boy, & Nomi Sunrider.
Plans have no time for formulation as these two teams clash within the tiny planet of Degobah. Mini -battles erupt all over the swamps as Yaddle and Nomi Sunrider's green lightsabers clash with each other in the thick tree-tops high above the battle. The force strong area surrounding them significantly strengthens both of their Jedi powers as the two females jump around each other in an amazing display of acrobatics. Nomi takes a hard swing at her much smaller opponent, but Yaddle manages to dodge the blow and finish off Sunrider with a lightsaber sweep to the neck. The four Oa Guardians, led by the green ring wielding Guardian #1 are squaring off against the formidable duo of Cyborg Superman and Odin, while Beast Boy is rapidly changing from jaguar, to raptor, to bald eagle and back in order to try and keep up with the Rhino 4x4 that is being driven through the swampy landscape by Paddle. Dr. Ray Wookie provides cover for the vehicle with his proton pack, but Beast Boy manages to evade the blasts while keeping up with the ATV. The Ewok Child is as scared as an Ewok Child as Beast Boy in his ever-changing forms get closer and closer to The Abomitron Vehicle. Back on drier land, Jack Bauer is taking a beating like only Jack Bauer can from Dark Beast, when the CTU Agent falls to the ground and pulls a tactical knife from his boot. Dark Beast jumps high into the air in order to gain momentum for his driving aerial attack on the human, when Jack rolls out of the way and gets behind the mutant. "Look for your own dimension in Hell" Jack says as he plunges the knife deep into the throat of Dark Beast to take out the intelligent deviant. Odin summons some Asgardian Power to take out Oa Guardian #3, but before he can do it again the other three guardians overwhelm and destroy him with their cosmic powers. This leaves Cyborg Superman to battle with them high above the swampy landscape, while Beast Boy manages to land on the Rhino in Pterodactyl form and than quickly turn into a Grizzly Bear long enough to maul both Ewok Child #1 and Dr. Ray Wookie. Paddle draws her hockey stick shaped lightsaber and swings at Beast Boy, but Beast Boy turns into a howler monkey and uses his tail to knock the strange shaped lightsaber out of her hand. Beast Boy then turns in to a Rhino ( on top of the Rhino) and drives (while it is driving) his horn (while Paddle inadvertently leans on the horn) into Paddle’s chest (sorry, no vehicle pun with this one). Beast Boy jumps off of the vehicle, and instantly turns into a hawk and takes flight in order to join his Oa Guardian teammates in battle against Cyborg Superman. Cyborg Superman uses his heat vision to melt Oa Guardian #2, while he is simultaneously using his freeze breath to crack Oa Guardian #4; and this is all before Beast Boy can even get up enough height to help them out. Beast Boy flies above Cyborg Superman and turns into a Brontosaurus, right above him. This both stuns Cyborg Superman and brings him down to the ground, but in essence doesn’t necessarily work in the favor of The Kennelz. Jack Bauer grabs his Sig-Saur and joins his teammates, but Cyborg Superman regains his composure and is joined by Yaddle. Cyborg Superman delivers a punch to the face of Jack Bauer which could kill just about any human on the universe, and which sends the Federal Agent sailing in to the distance. Beast Boy turns in to a T-Rex and attempts to bite down on the body of Cyborg Superman, but the half Kryptonian grabs a hold of both sides of his jaw and completely rips Beast Boy apart in what is possibly his most powerful form. While he is in the midst of this offensive posture, Oa Guardian #1 takes the opportunity to unleash the full potential of both his green lantern ring, as well as his own cosmic powers. This amazing display of power, serves to take out Cyborg Superman once and for all, but the Oa Guardian’s release of power serves as futile as Cyborg Superman’s four year teammate Yaddle avenges him by force pushing the Guardian over and then plunging her under-sized green lightsaber in to his chest. Yaddle looks around the battlefield assuming that all are defeated; but if she thinks that no man can live through a punch from Cyborg Superman... Than she doesn’t know Jack.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS
The Abomitrons: Yaddle is the sole survivor (R.I.P. Cyborg Superman)
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Jack Bauer lives to fight another day.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Logical Genocide Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Logical Genocide is Black Tom Cassidy, Mungo (w/ a Devil Lance), Nadira, Robert Hudson (w/ a Laser gun, a Laser Sword, & Mewtoo), The Champion of The Universe, Black Lantern Brainiac, Goro (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), & Jason Todd (w/ the cannon-shell and armor skin six gun).
Alice's Wonder Team is Zombie Abomination, Lady Q, & Quinn.
The swamps erupt with the sounds and movements of battle, but while this melee takes place, some of the greatest minds of the FFL discuss the true outcome of this weeks match within the cozy confines of Yoda's hut. Quinn and Lady Q sit at a small table with their would-be adversaries Black Lantern Brainiac and Robert Hudson. They discuss which of their two teams should be the victors based solely on sheer cognitive capacity, meanwhile Zombie Abomination is turning Degobah into nothing more than a slimy mud-hole (wait a tic... That's somebody's home I'm talking about). It is unclear whether or not the regular Abomination would have been scared off by Goro’s yellow powered ring, but it is fairly obvious that the zombie version was not affected by the yellow energy as he blasted through the attacks of the Mortal Kombat Tournament Champion and broke the half-dragon’s neck on the way to Jason Todd. Jason Todd managed to jump out of the way of Abomination’s first attack, and then to get off a shot of cannonshell at the creature, but even his armored skin was not enough to protect him against the one-hundred ton plus powered punches of Abomination. Black Tom Cassidy is turning the entire system of Degobah against the Abomination, but the zombie seems unaffected by the environmental attacks. Zombie Abomination rips through the vines that would have been Black Tom’s defense and then quickly feasts on the much smaller Cassidy. Nadira and The Champion of the Universe stand side by side in preparation for their attack on Abomination, but Mungo make his attack first. Mungo attacks, but his Demon Rod is cursed and inflicts enough damage on Mungo to prove that all cats go to heaven. While the two L-Gers get ready to square off against their diminutive zombie foe, the debate within the hut rages on. Actually, it isn’t much of a debate at all, it has mostly consisted of Black Lantern Brainiac talking about how awesome he is to the Q’s, who frankly aren’t buying what he is selling. “Oh, this ring... It ain’t nuthin. I mean, sure it gives me some power and stuff; but my real power.... Is up here” Brainiac says as he points t his noggin. The Q’s look at each other and seem unimpressed by Brainiac’s ability to keep up wit them mentally, when Robert Hudson chimes in: “So, all this is really cool, but when it comes down to winning this match, I only have one thing to say... You know how Han shot before Greedo???... Well, guess who shot before Han“?!?... As Hudson says this he pulls out his laser gun and tries to shoot Lady Q from under the table. As cool as this move may seem, Lady Q instantly dissolves the gun before his eyes. In the meantime, Hudson’s pal Mewtoo (Robert no longer has a pokeball, he is constantly accompanied by Mewtoo, the Pokemon who popped out of the ball, during its first use) (*See the Logical Genocide Vs. Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Match from last season’s play-offs) says “dang Rob, you just got jacked worse than the only varsity jacket at Type O Negative Concert”. Rob retorts: “Can it Pokemon. That weapon was to uncivilized anyways. We need a more elegant weapon for a more civilized age... Oh and by the way your comments are lame and smell like a Heineken fart”. Mewtoo says in reply: “Yeah, whateavs... I’m your pocket monster”. Robert then pulls out his laser sword and rushes at the two Qs. Lady Q and Quinn both stand up and decide that it is no longer meaningful to continue this debate and they collectively wipe Black Lantern Brainiac, Robert Hudson, and Mewtoo from this plane of existence. While these events are transpiring, The Champion of the Universe and Nadira have been putting a hall of fame smack down, down on Zombie Abomination until he is simply considered to be an abomination of zombies. Abomination is nothing more than a pile of green gunk when they are done with him; but as they finish their beating and look around for more opponents; they are confronted by the two Qs who are vacating Yoda’s hut. Lady Q is not supposed to be able to be offended or jealous of a lesser life form, but when she witnesses the perfect Kryptonian form of Nadira she decides that the universe would be better off without this “skank” and rips apart every molecule that composes her. Quinn, of course becomes jealous of this “powerful” opponent of his and her ability to cease living and once again becomes obsessed with his own desire to die. He begins a conversation with The Champion of the Universe, which compels the Champion to say: “No being can take my title, for I am the Champion of The Universe and have no worthy competitor”! Quinn then walks up to The Champion and says: “Fine, I agree. Which is why we will say that you won by default when the one who defeated you died as well”. With this comment, both Quinn and The Champion of the Universe are completely wiped from existence by the powers of The Q Continuum.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!
Alice's Wonder Team is Zombie Abomination, Lady Q, & Quinn.
The swamps erupt with the sounds and movements of battle, but while this melee takes place, some of the greatest minds of the FFL discuss the true outcome of this weeks match within the cozy confines of Yoda's hut. Quinn and Lady Q sit at a small table with their would-be adversaries Black Lantern Brainiac and Robert Hudson. They discuss which of their two teams should be the victors based solely on sheer cognitive capacity, meanwhile Zombie Abomination is turning Degobah into nothing more than a slimy mud-hole (wait a tic... That's somebody's home I'm talking about). It is unclear whether or not the regular Abomination would have been scared off by Goro’s yellow powered ring, but it is fairly obvious that the zombie version was not affected by the yellow energy as he blasted through the attacks of the Mortal Kombat Tournament Champion and broke the half-dragon’s neck on the way to Jason Todd. Jason Todd managed to jump out of the way of Abomination’s first attack, and then to get off a shot of cannonshell at the creature, but even his armored skin was not enough to protect him against the one-hundred ton plus powered punches of Abomination. Black Tom Cassidy is turning the entire system of Degobah against the Abomination, but the zombie seems unaffected by the environmental attacks. Zombie Abomination rips through the vines that would have been Black Tom’s defense and then quickly feasts on the much smaller Cassidy. Nadira and The Champion of the Universe stand side by side in preparation for their attack on Abomination, but Mungo make his attack first. Mungo attacks, but his Demon Rod is cursed and inflicts enough damage on Mungo to prove that all cats go to heaven. While the two L-Gers get ready to square off against their diminutive zombie foe, the debate within the hut rages on. Actually, it isn’t much of a debate at all, it has mostly consisted of Black Lantern Brainiac talking about how awesome he is to the Q’s, who frankly aren’t buying what he is selling. “Oh, this ring... It ain’t nuthin. I mean, sure it gives me some power and stuff; but my real power.... Is up here” Brainiac says as he points t his noggin. The Q’s look at each other and seem unimpressed by Brainiac’s ability to keep up wit them mentally, when Robert Hudson chimes in: “So, all this is really cool, but when it comes down to winning this match, I only have one thing to say... You know how Han shot before Greedo???... Well, guess who shot before Han“?!?... As Hudson says this he pulls out his laser gun and tries to shoot Lady Q from under the table. As cool as this move may seem, Lady Q instantly dissolves the gun before his eyes. In the meantime, Hudson’s pal Mewtoo (Robert no longer has a pokeball, he is constantly accompanied by Mewtoo, the Pokemon who popped out of the ball, during its first use) (*See the Logical Genocide Vs. Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Match from last season’s play-offs) says “dang Rob, you just got jacked worse than the only varsity jacket at Type O Negative Concert”. Rob retorts: “Can it Pokemon. That weapon was to uncivilized anyways. We need a more elegant weapon for a more civilized age... Oh and by the way your comments are lame and smell like a Heineken fart”. Mewtoo says in reply: “Yeah, whateavs... I’m your pocket monster”. Robert then pulls out his laser sword and rushes at the two Qs. Lady Q and Quinn both stand up and decide that it is no longer meaningful to continue this debate and they collectively wipe Black Lantern Brainiac, Robert Hudson, and Mewtoo from this plane of existence. While these events are transpiring, The Champion of the Universe and Nadira have been putting a hall of fame smack down, down on Zombie Abomination until he is simply considered to be an abomination of zombies. Abomination is nothing more than a pile of green gunk when they are done with him; but as they finish their beating and look around for more opponents; they are confronted by the two Qs who are vacating Yoda’s hut. Lady Q is not supposed to be able to be offended or jealous of a lesser life form, but when she witnesses the perfect Kryptonian form of Nadira she decides that the universe would be better off without this “skank” and rips apart every molecule that composes her. Quinn, of course becomes jealous of this “powerful” opponent of his and her ability to cease living and once again becomes obsessed with his own desire to die. He begins a conversation with The Champion of the Universe, which compels the Champion to say: “No being can take my title, for I am the Champion of The Universe and have no worthy competitor”! Quinn then walks up to The Champion and says: “Fine, I agree. Which is why we will say that you won by default when the one who defeated you died as well”. With this comment, both Quinn and The Champion of the Universe are completely wiped from existence by the powers of The Q Continuum.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!
The Right Wing vs Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies
The Right Wing is Red She-Hulk, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Skarr (son of Hulk), Lyra the She-Hulk, Victoria w/a Red Lightsaber, Osmosis Jones, Frederick Douglass and Mike Huckabee.
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are The Blair Witch, Rancor #1, Bob: Agent of Hydra, Squirrels #1-15, Al Qaeda Soldiers #1-20, and The Wu Tang Clan: ODB, Dirt McGirt, Big Baby Jesus, RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta-Killa, & Cappadonna.
The air is thick on Dagobah tonight, and that’s not just due to the haze of smoke courtesy of the Wu Tang Clan, who are currently so baked they can hardly even stand. Frederick Douglass leads the Right Wing charge as they swarm the Murderflies. Osmosis Jones instantly leaps into ODB’s nose, but is dissolved by the massive amounts of cocaine that was coating the inside of the rapper’s nostrils. Lyra the She-Hulk has covered part of her body in war paint in the fashion of blue with white stars. Red She-Hulk has donned war paint as well, but her’s is white stripes streaking across her vibrant red body. The two patriotic powerhouses crash into the Al Qaeda insurgence and viciously begin to rip apart their bodies. The Soldiers try and fight back, but their bullets simply bounce off of their impenetrable skin. Al Qaeda Soldier #1 attempts to sacrifices himself with a bomb that is strapped to him, but Skaar joins the fray and does a Hulk Clap that squishes the Soldier before he can detonate the bomb. All twenty Soldiers are quickly and mercilessly disposed of in way that would make S.E.A.L. Team Six blush.
Victoria the leaps into action, igniting her lightsaber and slices through RZA as she bites down on the neck of Method Man. The then punches a hole right through Raekwon. Fredrick Douglass then backs her up and shoots Inspectah Deck down with his rifle. Mike Huckabee jumps down out of a tree and blasts Big Baby Jesus and GZA in the head with his twin glocks as Victoria finishes off the rest of the Wu Tang Clan. Bob: Agent of Hydra then finds himself staring down the business end of Victoria’s lightsaber when he tried to sneak up on the vampire. His attack is to no avail as she cuts him down without hesitation.
Cosmic Hulk Robot is currently tangled up with Rancor #1, but the contest is over in a matter of mere moments when the Rancor tried to swallow the Hulk Robot, who then proceeded to rip the jaw clean off of the giant monster. The Blair Witch bursts from the shadows and lunges towards Huckabee and Douglass, but Skaar stops her and slices her in two with his enormous sword. The members of the Right Wing then disperse throughout the woods of Dagobah to hunt down and kill the fifteen Squirrels that are scampering about.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are The Blair Witch, Rancor #1, Bob: Agent of Hydra, Squirrels #1-15, Al Qaeda Soldiers #1-20, and The Wu Tang Clan: ODB, Dirt McGirt, Big Baby Jesus, RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta-Killa, & Cappadonna.
The air is thick on Dagobah tonight, and that’s not just due to the haze of smoke courtesy of the Wu Tang Clan, who are currently so baked they can hardly even stand. Frederick Douglass leads the Right Wing charge as they swarm the Murderflies. Osmosis Jones instantly leaps into ODB’s nose, but is dissolved by the massive amounts of cocaine that was coating the inside of the rapper’s nostrils. Lyra the She-Hulk has covered part of her body in war paint in the fashion of blue with white stars. Red She-Hulk has donned war paint as well, but her’s is white stripes streaking across her vibrant red body. The two patriotic powerhouses crash into the Al Qaeda insurgence and viciously begin to rip apart their bodies. The Soldiers try and fight back, but their bullets simply bounce off of their impenetrable skin. Al Qaeda Soldier #1 attempts to sacrifices himself with a bomb that is strapped to him, but Skaar joins the fray and does a Hulk Clap that squishes the Soldier before he can detonate the bomb. All twenty Soldiers are quickly and mercilessly disposed of in way that would make S.E.A.L. Team Six blush.
Victoria the leaps into action, igniting her lightsaber and slices through RZA as she bites down on the neck of Method Man. The then punches a hole right through Raekwon. Fredrick Douglass then backs her up and shoots Inspectah Deck down with his rifle. Mike Huckabee jumps down out of a tree and blasts Big Baby Jesus and GZA in the head with his twin glocks as Victoria finishes off the rest of the Wu Tang Clan. Bob: Agent of Hydra then finds himself staring down the business end of Victoria’s lightsaber when he tried to sneak up on the vampire. His attack is to no avail as she cuts him down without hesitation.
Cosmic Hulk Robot is currently tangled up with Rancor #1, but the contest is over in a matter of mere moments when the Rancor tried to swallow the Hulk Robot, who then proceeded to rip the jaw clean off of the giant monster. The Blair Witch bursts from the shadows and lunges towards Huckabee and Douglass, but Skaar stops her and slices her in two with his enormous sword. The members of the Right Wing then disperse throughout the woods of Dagobah to hunt down and kill the fifteen Squirrels that are scampering about.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!
Built Ford Tough Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Dest
Wednesday, Dagobah, south by southwest. The dawn crept in slowly that morning, almost as slowly as a turtle...a turtle stuck in molasses...in the middle of February. The silvery light of morning filled the sky, and a rooster crowed the theme song to Cats, the musical. Still inside their lair, Galadriel, Black Alice, the Stranger, and Proteus were in the middle of an intense meeting of minds, hatching a plot to take over the swampy realm. They had received word that the power of Dagobah would go to the one who obtained the Mystical Marshmallow Microbial Mandolin, which was hidden in a cavern on the yuppy side of the planet. There were many plans to discuss, blue prints to pour over, pie charts to draw, puffy paints to use, and silly string to spray.
Meanwhile.....
Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, alongside Wendy in a mail delivery jeep, cackled uproariously as he gazed upon the items he had just received from his Amazon.com order. Soon, victory would be his, and everyone would finally stop referring to him as “that washed up burger hack whose daughter always rides around in a mail delivery truck even though she's never worked for the postal service.” As Dave was using his teeth to pop the bubble wrap that surrounded his wares, Dr. Who came up behind him, yammering on his cell phone about his fabulous time machine. Dave rolled his eyes but plastered a friendly smile on his face as Dr. Who hung up up with his caller.
“Wendy!” Dr. Who cried excitedly. “I just found out that I'm the keynote speaker at the Italian Sausage Convention! Isn't that smashing?!” Just as Wendy was about to respond, the rest of the group came racing up, splashing mud and swamp moss everywhere. A glob of smudge hit Professor Snape directly in the face, and he began muttering expletives and stomping his feet, wiping the slop into his hair as though it were pomade.
The Energizer Bunny was first to speak. “Everyone, we are in crisis. Sirius Black was using his magical water boarding technique again, and received a disturbing bit of intelligence.” Firestorm gasped, and Zombie Rob Bartlett stood there in shock, his mouth gaping.
“Well, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, there are too many irons in the fire, and we're running on empty.” Darkwing Duck offered. Good Luck Bear slapped him in the wing and shook his head at him while Veronica Mars and Diego with Baby Jaguar looked on, wearing concerned expressions, and also water buffalo costumes.
Ancient Sith Lord #14 sighed. “Please continue, you pink thing in sunglasses.”
The bunny took a deep breath and continued. “It has come to our attention, that what we seek is also being hunted by our enemies, the Dope Fiends. We must act. Everyone, get into the mail delivery truck, stat!!”
The group piled in, except for Sirius Black, who insisted on being strapped to the top with bungee cords and an impossibly long strand of dental floss. They drove for 18 hours without stopping, Dr. Who complaining the entire time in his British accent about how they should have taken his magnificent time machine.
When they arrived at their destination, they were dismayed to find that their opponents were already scouting the place out, and so were the cops. Someone must have called in an anonymous tip.
Darkwing Duck quacked in irritation. “I always say to never put all your eggs in one basket!!”
“Oh NO!” screeched Firestorm. “Those cops are going to find this bag full of dimes I've got stashed! That's ALL of my change! Crap crap crap crap crap cra-”
“Silence!” bellowed the Energizer Bunny. “We are not prepared for battle, it is best that we retreat.”
But it was too late for that. Galadriel and Proteus had begun firing at them with their potato guns. Black Alice and the Stranger were descending on them from above, swinging down from the trees on enormous vines.
Snape ripped Sirius loose from his cords, and they both drew their wands. The rest sprang out of the jeep to lead their enemies into the field, all but Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy's, who began to work furiously in the back seat, flinging mail bags and weekly circulars aside, except for a Kentucky Fried Chicken coupon-that he shoved into his mansierre. He glanced out the window, the first bubble of fear rising in his stomach. In the distance, he could see that only Snape and Sirius were still fighting, although it wasn't looking good for them either. The others were down and seriously injured, even Wendy, and Dave knew that if he didn't act fast there would be no one to run his burger joints.
Dave used an entire family-sized bottle of Drano, pouring it in equal amounts into empty pop bottles. Snape and Sirius were wounded now too, and Dave suddenly heard four sets of footsteps on top of the jeep. They had come for him. His hands shaking, he stuffed each pop bottle with aluminum foil, feeling eternally grateful that Amazon sold Drano Bomb kits. They really did sell everything! He closed up the bottles, and slipped stealthily out the side door, which opened onto a patch of extremely thick foliage. He crawled through, then ran like he'd never run before. He didn't feel the rumble of the explosion until he tripped and found himself face down on the mossy earth. The mud created a suction, and he had to use his trusty shoehorn to pry his face out of the sludge. He scrambled back up just in time to see Black Alice rolling over in over on the ground, blanketed in flames. Galadriel, the Stranger, and Proteus were already dead, lying supine on the ground amidst the remains of the mail jeep. As Black Alice lost the struggle, a stray letter floated downward on the wind, then landed atop her corpse.
Dave watched his friends get up to cautiously survey the scene and smiled to himself. He had finally saved the day. And now he even could afford to buy everyone a bucket of chicken.
BUILT FORD TOUGH IS VICTORIOUS!!
Meanwhile.....
Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, alongside Wendy in a mail delivery jeep, cackled uproariously as he gazed upon the items he had just received from his Amazon.com order. Soon, victory would be his, and everyone would finally stop referring to him as “that washed up burger hack whose daughter always rides around in a mail delivery truck even though she's never worked for the postal service.” As Dave was using his teeth to pop the bubble wrap that surrounded his wares, Dr. Who came up behind him, yammering on his cell phone about his fabulous time machine. Dave rolled his eyes but plastered a friendly smile on his face as Dr. Who hung up up with his caller.
“Wendy!” Dr. Who cried excitedly. “I just found out that I'm the keynote speaker at the Italian Sausage Convention! Isn't that smashing?!” Just as Wendy was about to respond, the rest of the group came racing up, splashing mud and swamp moss everywhere. A glob of smudge hit Professor Snape directly in the face, and he began muttering expletives and stomping his feet, wiping the slop into his hair as though it were pomade.
The Energizer Bunny was first to speak. “Everyone, we are in crisis. Sirius Black was using his magical water boarding technique again, and received a disturbing bit of intelligence.” Firestorm gasped, and Zombie Rob Bartlett stood there in shock, his mouth gaping.
“Well, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, there are too many irons in the fire, and we're running on empty.” Darkwing Duck offered. Good Luck Bear slapped him in the wing and shook his head at him while Veronica Mars and Diego with Baby Jaguar looked on, wearing concerned expressions, and also water buffalo costumes.
Ancient Sith Lord #14 sighed. “Please continue, you pink thing in sunglasses.”
The bunny took a deep breath and continued. “It has come to our attention, that what we seek is also being hunted by our enemies, the Dope Fiends. We must act. Everyone, get into the mail delivery truck, stat!!”
The group piled in, except for Sirius Black, who insisted on being strapped to the top with bungee cords and an impossibly long strand of dental floss. They drove for 18 hours without stopping, Dr. Who complaining the entire time in his British accent about how they should have taken his magnificent time machine.
When they arrived at their destination, they were dismayed to find that their opponents were already scouting the place out, and so were the cops. Someone must have called in an anonymous tip.
Darkwing Duck quacked in irritation. “I always say to never put all your eggs in one basket!!”
“Oh NO!” screeched Firestorm. “Those cops are going to find this bag full of dimes I've got stashed! That's ALL of my change! Crap crap crap crap crap cra-”
“Silence!” bellowed the Energizer Bunny. “We are not prepared for battle, it is best that we retreat.”
But it was too late for that. Galadriel and Proteus had begun firing at them with their potato guns. Black Alice and the Stranger were descending on them from above, swinging down from the trees on enormous vines.
Snape ripped Sirius loose from his cords, and they both drew their wands. The rest sprang out of the jeep to lead their enemies into the field, all but Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy's, who began to work furiously in the back seat, flinging mail bags and weekly circulars aside, except for a Kentucky Fried Chicken coupon-that he shoved into his mansierre. He glanced out the window, the first bubble of fear rising in his stomach. In the distance, he could see that only Snape and Sirius were still fighting, although it wasn't looking good for them either. The others were down and seriously injured, even Wendy, and Dave knew that if he didn't act fast there would be no one to run his burger joints.
Dave used an entire family-sized bottle of Drano, pouring it in equal amounts into empty pop bottles. Snape and Sirius were wounded now too, and Dave suddenly heard four sets of footsteps on top of the jeep. They had come for him. His hands shaking, he stuffed each pop bottle with aluminum foil, feeling eternally grateful that Amazon sold Drano Bomb kits. They really did sell everything! He closed up the bottles, and slipped stealthily out the side door, which opened onto a patch of extremely thick foliage. He crawled through, then ran like he'd never run before. He didn't feel the rumble of the explosion until he tripped and found himself face down on the mossy earth. The mud created a suction, and he had to use his trusty shoehorn to pry his face out of the sludge. He scrambled back up just in time to see Black Alice rolling over in over on the ground, blanketed in flames. Galadriel, the Stranger, and Proteus were already dead, lying supine on the ground amidst the remains of the mail jeep. As Black Alice lost the struggle, a stray letter floated downward on the wind, then landed atop her corpse.
Dave watched his friends get up to cautiously survey the scene and smiled to himself. He had finally saved the day. And now he even could afford to buy everyone a bucket of chicken.
BUILT FORD TOUGH IS VICTORIOUS!!
The Horsemen vs Team SP
The Horsemen of the Apocalypse are: Swamp Thing, Hal Jordan/Parallax w/2 Green Lantern rings, Sinestro's Yellow Lantern ring & a Red Lantern ring, Black Lantern Original (Green Lantern) Sinestro, Star Sapphire #1, Scar, the Evil Guardian of the Universe, and Ryan Poteracki w/Laser Sword, Laser Gun, Mithril Vest & Pokeball
Team Sleeping Pussy are: Kazar and Zabu, Thunderbird, Den, Black Lantern Leeloo, Banshee, Spider-Woman and the Team of Speed Buggy, Tinker, Mark and Debbie
"Hurry up, get a move on. They're just over this pass" says Ryan Poteracki "Let's make this quick"
"What's the hurry, sir?" asks Star Sapphire #1 "What's so pressing?"
"It's this match." replies the owner of the Horsemen "I don't trust the Watcher to possibly screw me over just to move himself up in the division. F*****g expansion teams. Now get serious. I underestimated Team Sleeping Pussy once in the first season, and I won't be making that mistake again."
"Don't you think you're..." starts Star Sapphire when she's interrupted by Swamp Thing
"There's a few ahead." Swampy says, his arms merged with the swampy murk of Dagobah "I sense the pollutants of an automobile with it's occupants, and a man and his tiger are trying to conceal themselves deep in the woods, but I know the exact location."
"Ok, ok. What about the others?" asks Ryan as he gets out his pokeball and considers his next move. "Where's the heavier hitters?"
"I am not sure" answers Swampy "they may be in the air above us"
"Lantern based Horsemen. Find the flying pussies, and execute with extreme prejudice" Ryan quietly says. "Scar, you're with me. Swampy. Stay here and keep your eyes..."
suddenly a giant plasma blast streaks by Ryan's head and slams into Swamp Thing's chest, instantly igniting him.
"F**k!!!! I knew he'd try and screw me. Swamp Thing out already? B***h!!" the enraged Poteracki screams out as the Horsemen scatter. "New plan. Kill all of them"
"With pleasure" smiles Black Lantern Sinestro, who immediately spots Swampy's executioner-Thunderbird. There's a brief clash, but Thunderbird is just unable to overtake the regenerative powers of a black lantern ring, and his heart is eventually torn out of his chest.
The Speedy Buggy team comes roaring onto the scene and are bee lining for the evil Guardian Scar. Scar smiles, and with a flick of her wrists flips Speed Buggy causing Mark and Debby to fly out of the car where they smash into a huge tree and are killed. Tinker survives the attack, since he was wisely wearing his seat belt. As Scar is about to put an end to Speedy and Tinker, a spear flies out of the trees-piercing Scar's shoulder. It seems the Speed Buggy crew were all a distraction, as Kazaar and Zabu jump onto Scar and proceed to finally kill the evil Oan, but it's not the smartest move, as the death of Scar results in a gigantic explosion of Oan energy which turns Kazaar, Zabu, Tiner and Speed Buggy to ash.
"Really?" screams Ryan as he fires his laser gun at Den "F*****g Scar is killed by Kazaar? What the f**k?" he finally strikes Den in his giant...leg, sending Den to the ground. Ryan swings his laser sword in a mighty arc, and manages to circumcise Den. The second swing is more successful and Den is decapitated.
"Must we kill? Can we not just subdue?" asks Star Sapphire, when out of nowhere BL Leeloo's hand explodes through her chest and kills her. As Leeloo is about to attack again, she's destroyed by Parallax who's effectively a one man black lantern eradication machine, due to his ridiculous amount of rings.
Parallax scans the area for more victims, when he's suddenly knocked out of the sky the the sonic scream of Banshee. As Parallax hits the ground, he's struck by massive amounts of venom blasts from Spider-Woman. The duo keep pouring on the power, until Parallax finally falls to their might.
"Are. You. KIDDING??!" scream Ryan? "How the hell does..f*****ng Seeney. This is some bull" all of a sudden there's a blinding red light and out of nowhere a voice booms
"Ryan Poteracki of earth. Your heart is full of rage, welcome to the red lantern corps." and the red lantern ring of the fallen Parallax flies onto Ryan's finger and instantly, he's overflowing with the might of a red lantern. He instantly targets Banshee, who he's always secretly though was a stupid character, and sets him a blaze. With Banshee's sonics down, Black Lantern Sinestro is no longer forced to just watch from the sidelines. He zooms in and makes short work of Spider-Woman.
"The championship is MMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!!!!" screams the victorious owner of the Horsemen, as he stands on the battlefield, once again victorious.
Team Sleeping Pussy: All Dead
The Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Ryan Poteracki and Black Lantern original (Green Lantern) Sinestro survive.
THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
Team Sleeping Pussy are: Kazar and Zabu, Thunderbird, Den, Black Lantern Leeloo, Banshee, Spider-Woman and the Team of Speed Buggy, Tinker, Mark and Debbie
"Hurry up, get a move on. They're just over this pass" says Ryan Poteracki "Let's make this quick"
"What's the hurry, sir?" asks Star Sapphire #1 "What's so pressing?"
"It's this match." replies the owner of the Horsemen "I don't trust the Watcher to possibly screw me over just to move himself up in the division. F*****g expansion teams. Now get serious. I underestimated Team Sleeping Pussy once in the first season, and I won't be making that mistake again."
"Don't you think you're..." starts Star Sapphire when she's interrupted by Swamp Thing
"There's a few ahead." Swampy says, his arms merged with the swampy murk of Dagobah "I sense the pollutants of an automobile with it's occupants, and a man and his tiger are trying to conceal themselves deep in the woods, but I know the exact location."
"Ok, ok. What about the others?" asks Ryan as he gets out his pokeball and considers his next move. "Where's the heavier hitters?"
"I am not sure" answers Swampy "they may be in the air above us"
"Lantern based Horsemen. Find the flying pussies, and execute with extreme prejudice" Ryan quietly says. "Scar, you're with me. Swampy. Stay here and keep your eyes..."
suddenly a giant plasma blast streaks by Ryan's head and slams into Swamp Thing's chest, instantly igniting him.
"F**k!!!! I knew he'd try and screw me. Swamp Thing out already? B***h!!" the enraged Poteracki screams out as the Horsemen scatter. "New plan. Kill all of them"
"With pleasure" smiles Black Lantern Sinestro, who immediately spots Swampy's executioner-Thunderbird. There's a brief clash, but Thunderbird is just unable to overtake the regenerative powers of a black lantern ring, and his heart is eventually torn out of his chest.
The Speedy Buggy team comes roaring onto the scene and are bee lining for the evil Guardian Scar. Scar smiles, and with a flick of her wrists flips Speed Buggy causing Mark and Debby to fly out of the car where they smash into a huge tree and are killed. Tinker survives the attack, since he was wisely wearing his seat belt. As Scar is about to put an end to Speedy and Tinker, a spear flies out of the trees-piercing Scar's shoulder. It seems the Speed Buggy crew were all a distraction, as Kazaar and Zabu jump onto Scar and proceed to finally kill the evil Oan, but it's not the smartest move, as the death of Scar results in a gigantic explosion of Oan energy which turns Kazaar, Zabu, Tiner and Speed Buggy to ash.
"Really?" screams Ryan as he fires his laser gun at Den "F*****g Scar is killed by Kazaar? What the f**k?" he finally strikes Den in his giant...leg, sending Den to the ground. Ryan swings his laser sword in a mighty arc, and manages to circumcise Den. The second swing is more successful and Den is decapitated.
"Must we kill? Can we not just subdue?" asks Star Sapphire, when out of nowhere BL Leeloo's hand explodes through her chest and kills her. As Leeloo is about to attack again, she's destroyed by Parallax who's effectively a one man black lantern eradication machine, due to his ridiculous amount of rings.
Parallax scans the area for more victims, when he's suddenly knocked out of the sky the the sonic scream of Banshee. As Parallax hits the ground, he's struck by massive amounts of venom blasts from Spider-Woman. The duo keep pouring on the power, until Parallax finally falls to their might.
"Are. You. KIDDING??!" scream Ryan? "How the hell does..f*****ng Seeney. This is some bull" all of a sudden there's a blinding red light and out of nowhere a voice booms
"Ryan Poteracki of earth. Your heart is full of rage, welcome to the red lantern corps." and the red lantern ring of the fallen Parallax flies onto Ryan's finger and instantly, he's overflowing with the might of a red lantern. He instantly targets Banshee, who he's always secretly though was a stupid character, and sets him a blaze. With Banshee's sonics down, Black Lantern Sinestro is no longer forced to just watch from the sidelines. He zooms in and makes short work of Spider-Woman.
"The championship is MMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!!!!" screams the victorious owner of the Horsemen, as he stands on the battlefield, once again victorious.
Team Sleeping Pussy: All Dead
The Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Ryan Poteracki and Black Lantern original (Green Lantern) Sinestro survive.
THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Taco Benders vs Syracuse Valley
The Tijuana Taco Benders are: The Blob, Sith Lord #19 & 20, Dementor #6, The Revanchist, Jedi Master #4, and Kid Dead Pool
The Syracuse Valley are: Soundwave & Soundblaster w/ Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Decepticon #3, Decepticon Decoy #2, & Go-Bot #1, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Headbanger, & Major Disaster, Cosmic Spider-Man, Hamato Yoshi, Splinter, and Venus Demilo
"What's this a*****e doing here" sneers Sith Lord #19 pointing at Jedi Master #4 "We don't need him and his side of the Force f******g us up in battle."
"Yeah, that guys a total dick" agrees Sith Lord #20
"That may be, but I know the dagobah system better than either of you two, and you're going to need all the help you can. I've seen what you two bring to battles and to say you're awful is an understatement." says the Jedi Master, not backing down from the two Sith Lords
"All of you, shut up" roars The Revanchist "I sense a being of massive cosmic power in the area, we need to be on the same page if we hope to overcome our opponents."
"Fine" spits Sith Lord #19 "But if this homo doesn't pull his weight, I'll kill him myself"
"Bring it" replies Jedi Master #4
The four different masters of the Force head off to join the fracas that has already begun. So far the Blob has been able to smother Hamato Yoshi, Splinter and Venus Demilo in it's form, but the Toxic Crusader was able to absorb the Blob and put an end to him. But the effort has swelled him to enormous sizes. He's no where near fast enoguh to save the Toxic Crusaders, and has to watch as they were all slain by Dementor #6 and Kid Deadpool. Toxie doesn't ahve to suffer long, though. The Revanchist joins the Dementor and Kid Deadpool and puts an end to Toxie's suffering, leaving him a steaming pile of waste that oozes into the Dagobah swamp and begins polluting a large area of the battlefield.
"Wow, looks like our team doesn't suck as much as our record suggests" says Kid Deadpool "Maybe Krisatu won't have to job us out again, I hear he's getting sick of doing that"
Before anyone is able to question Kid Deadpool's fourth wall bending, his chest explodes courtesy of Black Lantern Squawk Talk.
"Oh, dammit" says Sith Lord #20 "How the f*** are we supposed to beat the damn black lanterns? These a******s get us all the time!"
"I have an idea" #19 replies as he fires up his red lightsaber "Hey, Jedi. What color lightsaber do you have?"
"Green" says the Jedi igniting his weapon as well "Why?"
"Let's try something" and the Sith Lord and the Jedi both rush BL Squawk Talk and plunge their sabers into the demon, and are able to slay him
"Awesome!" exclaims the Jedi "It looks like our lightsaber frequencies are close enough to those of power rings that we're able to destroy the"
"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the exposition. Here comes another one" says #19 as Black Lantern Beat Box arrives on the scene. He's not there for long, as once again the combined green and red lightsabers are able to completely destroy the black lantern.
"Excellent" says the Revanchist as he destroys the Decepticon Decoy while Sith Lord #20 fries Soundblaster with force lightning "I think we might have a sh..."
his hopeful statement is cut short by a blast from Cosmic Spider-Man who eradicates the Revanchist.
"F***." says Lord #19 as he cuts off Laserbeaks head "#20 let's get him. and with that, the two dark masters of the Force begin to try and slay the cosmic wall crawler.
As they battle, the Jedi Master is doing pretty well for himself. His lightsaber skills brought about the death of the common Decepticon, and he was able to Force push the Gobot into the rotting, toxic corpse of the Toxic Crusader, eroding all the metal of the Gobot. Suddenly he's knocked off of his feet by zombie Overkill, who circles around to finish the job.
"Let's see if this works again" thinks the Jedi as he postions himself in front of the pile of toxic sludge that killed the GoBot. As the overly killed Overkill charges, the Jedi leaps, but not high enough. He and zombie Overkill hit the deadly mess and both begin to slowly dissolve.
As he's dying, the Jedi sees Soudwave destroyed as he tries to battle the Dementor but is struck by an errant blast of Force lightning from the Sith/Spidey fight. He uses his last bit of strength to hurl his lightsaber at cosmic Spider-Man just as Spidey kills Sith Lord #20. The saber glances off of Spider-Man and gives him a slight cut on the arm. Causing him to lose focus.
This is just the opportunity that Sith Lord #19 needs and he launches himself at Cosmic Spider-Man, plunging his lightsaber deep into Spidey's back.This last ditch effort is able to kill his opponent, but the Sith Lord is incinerated by the blast of cosmic power that is no longer being controlled by the friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man.
Everything in the general vicinity of the battle is eradicated, except for Dementor #6, who had no physical form to be burned up by the discharge.
The Tijuana Taco Benders: Dementor #6 survives
The Syracuse Valley: All Dead.
THE TIJUANA TACO BENDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
The Syracuse Valley are: Soundwave & Soundblaster w/ Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Decepticon #3, Decepticon Decoy #2, & Go-Bot #1, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Headbanger, & Major Disaster, Cosmic Spider-Man, Hamato Yoshi, Splinter, and Venus Demilo
"What's this a*****e doing here" sneers Sith Lord #19 pointing at Jedi Master #4 "We don't need him and his side of the Force f******g us up in battle."
"Yeah, that guys a total dick" agrees Sith Lord #20
"That may be, but I know the dagobah system better than either of you two, and you're going to need all the help you can. I've seen what you two bring to battles and to say you're awful is an understatement." says the Jedi Master, not backing down from the two Sith Lords
"All of you, shut up" roars The Revanchist "I sense a being of massive cosmic power in the area, we need to be on the same page if we hope to overcome our opponents."
"Fine" spits Sith Lord #19 "But if this homo doesn't pull his weight, I'll kill him myself"
"Bring it" replies Jedi Master #4
The four different masters of the Force head off to join the fracas that has already begun. So far the Blob has been able to smother Hamato Yoshi, Splinter and Venus Demilo in it's form, but the Toxic Crusader was able to absorb the Blob and put an end to him. But the effort has swelled him to enormous sizes. He's no where near fast enoguh to save the Toxic Crusaders, and has to watch as they were all slain by Dementor #6 and Kid Deadpool. Toxie doesn't ahve to suffer long, though. The Revanchist joins the Dementor and Kid Deadpool and puts an end to Toxie's suffering, leaving him a steaming pile of waste that oozes into the Dagobah swamp and begins polluting a large area of the battlefield.
"Wow, looks like our team doesn't suck as much as our record suggests" says Kid Deadpool "Maybe Krisatu won't have to job us out again, I hear he's getting sick of doing that"
Before anyone is able to question Kid Deadpool's fourth wall bending, his chest explodes courtesy of Black Lantern Squawk Talk.
"Oh, dammit" says Sith Lord #20 "How the f*** are we supposed to beat the damn black lanterns? These a******s get us all the time!"
"I have an idea" #19 replies as he fires up his red lightsaber "Hey, Jedi. What color lightsaber do you have?"
"Green" says the Jedi igniting his weapon as well "Why?"
"Let's try something" and the Sith Lord and the Jedi both rush BL Squawk Talk and plunge their sabers into the demon, and are able to slay him
"Awesome!" exclaims the Jedi "It looks like our lightsaber frequencies are close enough to those of power rings that we're able to destroy the"
"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the exposition. Here comes another one" says #19 as Black Lantern Beat Box arrives on the scene. He's not there for long, as once again the combined green and red lightsabers are able to completely destroy the black lantern.
"Excellent" says the Revanchist as he destroys the Decepticon Decoy while Sith Lord #20 fries Soundblaster with force lightning "I think we might have a sh..."
his hopeful statement is cut short by a blast from Cosmic Spider-Man who eradicates the Revanchist.
"F***." says Lord #19 as he cuts off Laserbeaks head "#20 let's get him. and with that, the two dark masters of the Force begin to try and slay the cosmic wall crawler.
As they battle, the Jedi Master is doing pretty well for himself. His lightsaber skills brought about the death of the common Decepticon, and he was able to Force push the Gobot into the rotting, toxic corpse of the Toxic Crusader, eroding all the metal of the Gobot. Suddenly he's knocked off of his feet by zombie Overkill, who circles around to finish the job.
"Let's see if this works again" thinks the Jedi as he postions himself in front of the pile of toxic sludge that killed the GoBot. As the overly killed Overkill charges, the Jedi leaps, but not high enough. He and zombie Overkill hit the deadly mess and both begin to slowly dissolve.
As he's dying, the Jedi sees Soudwave destroyed as he tries to battle the Dementor but is struck by an errant blast of Force lightning from the Sith/Spidey fight. He uses his last bit of strength to hurl his lightsaber at cosmic Spider-Man just as Spidey kills Sith Lord #20. The saber glances off of Spider-Man and gives him a slight cut on the arm. Causing him to lose focus.
This is just the opportunity that Sith Lord #19 needs and he launches himself at Cosmic Spider-Man, plunging his lightsaber deep into Spidey's back.This last ditch effort is able to kill his opponent, but the Sith Lord is incinerated by the blast of cosmic power that is no longer being controlled by the friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man.
Everything in the general vicinity of the battle is eradicated, except for Dementor #6, who had no physical form to be burned up by the discharge.
The Tijuana Taco Benders: Dementor #6 survives
The Syracuse Valley: All Dead.
THE TIJUANA TACO BENDERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
Season 4, Week 9: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. George Washington's Slaves
“Do or do not. . . there is no try.”
-Yoda
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 9 Match located in Dagobah. They are as follows:
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Count Dooku, Asajj Ventress (w/ a Sith lavarouk), Aurra Sing, X-23, Psylocke, Salacious B. Crumb, Baby Wolverine, Zombie Ewok #4 and Kermit the Frog.
George Washington’s Slaves: Yoda (w/ a green lantern ring) and Kybuck, Sifo Dyas, Hound (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership) (AKA: Houndimus Prime), Black Lantern Darkseid and Savage Opress (w/ a red lantern ring).
Let the battle begin. . .
Yoda rides his Kybuck toward the opening battle. He rises from the steed through the use of his green lantern ring. Yoda gently lands on his home world’s ground. He notices an enemy at the edge of the swamp’s waters.
Kermit: Hi, ho! Kermit the Frog here!
Yoda: Come to my house do you?
Kermit the Frog: Time’s fun when you’re having flies.
Yoda: Believe you are stronger than I do you?
Kermit: It’s not easy being green.
Yoda (ears slightly drooping): Ugh. About it do tell.
Kermit has distracted Yoda with his musings. Baby Wolverine jumps from a branch above. Yoda’s Force senses kick in immediately and before Baby Wolverine can react in time, he is sliced in two. Salacious B. Crumb can be heard laughing at the scene.
Kermit: G-d d*amn! You mother f*ckin’ lizard piece of sh*t! Baby Wolverine was on your own team!!! Why the f*ck are you laughing, you f*ck?!?!
Salacious B. Crumb attempts to comprehend the words of Kermit, but fails. Kermit’s words are lost on him and he begins to cackle again. Yoda uses the Force to carry Crumb over to Kermit. Yoda does a barrel flip and bounds over to the duo. In a matter of seconds, both Kermit and Crumb are killed by the diminutive Jedi.
As Yoda’s Kybuck races through the foliage, he is struck by a spear that pierces into the beast’s side. The Kybuck crashes to the ground. Zombie Ewok #4 walks out of the bushes and rips into the mortally wounded Kybuck. Zombie Ewok #4 feasts on the dead Kybuck’s entrails.
Ewok: Nyubray hooga chobak! [Translation: Tastes like chicken!]
Sifo Dyas sees Count Dooku.
Sifo Dyas: We meet again Count Dooku.
Count Dooku: Unfortunately for you, the same conclusion will follow.
History repeats itself and after a protracted battle of lightsabers Dyas is killed by Dooku.
Aurra Sing is located on a large branch with Savage Opress in her sights. She fires and Opress manages to deflect the sniper fire at the last second. As Opress is about to fight Sing, Houndimus Prime steps into the fray and blasts Sing. Her scorched body falls to the ground below.
Opress: She was mine. . .
Opress storms off, embittered that he was unable to destroy his prey. He is not allowed to brew long though as he spots Dooku joined by Asajj Ventress. Dooku smiles at the sight of Opress.
Asajj: I am your apprentice, master, not this Zabrak scum!
Asajj jumps at Opress and lightsabers flash as the two Dooku apprentices tussle. The red lantern ring of Opress manages to outduel the Sith lavarouk of Ventress. In the end, Opress manages to impale Ventress. As a mortally wounded Ventress crawls toward Dooku, Opress finishes the job and kills her. Dooku then smiles, once again.
Dooku: You have defeated a mere apprentice. Let’s see how you fare against your superior.
Opress does not fair well as Dooku slices him in half. Opress shares the fate of that other “notable” Zabrak.
X-23 and Psylocke fight Black Lantern Darkseid. BL Darkseid’s black lantern constructs and psionic energy combines into a force too powerful for X-23. X-23 perishes. Psylocke manages to use her psycho-blast to rip into BL Darkseid. The black lantern’s body begins to re-assemble itself. Psylocke manages to blast him again. Then, in a miraculous feat of fighting ability (and a whole lot of luck), Psylocke manages to use her psychic kitana sword to destroy the ring. Thus, BL Darkseid becomes inert. Houndimus Prime cannot believe this mere mutant could defeat such a powerful entity. The Transformer unleashes his entire arsenal upon Psylocke, who is decimated by the weaponry.
Yoda faces Count Dooku and Zombie Ewok #4. The crazed ewok runs at Yoda, who easily spins away and slices off its head.
Yoda: For Kybuck that was.
Dooku: I've been waiting for you, Yoda. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.
Yoda: Stolen that line you have. Better the first time it was.
Yoda and Dooku enter into a pitched battle. In the end, Yoda’s fighting ability and green lantern ring are too powerful for the older statesman. Yoda is victorious. Houndimus Prime joins the Jedi.
Yoda: A formidable force did we face in the Midgets. Kudos to them do they deserve. Victory though is ours!
The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants: All dead.
George Washington’s Slaves: Yoda and Hound survive.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES IS VICTORIOUS!!!
-Yoda
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 9 Match located in Dagobah. They are as follows:
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Count Dooku, Asajj Ventress (w/ a Sith lavarouk), Aurra Sing, X-23, Psylocke, Salacious B. Crumb, Baby Wolverine, Zombie Ewok #4 and Kermit the Frog.
George Washington’s Slaves: Yoda (w/ a green lantern ring) and Kybuck, Sifo Dyas, Hound (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership) (AKA: Houndimus Prime), Black Lantern Darkseid and Savage Opress (w/ a red lantern ring).
Let the battle begin. . .
Yoda rides his Kybuck toward the opening battle. He rises from the steed through the use of his green lantern ring. Yoda gently lands on his home world’s ground. He notices an enemy at the edge of the swamp’s waters.
Kermit: Hi, ho! Kermit the Frog here!
Yoda: Come to my house do you?
Kermit the Frog: Time’s fun when you’re having flies.
Yoda: Believe you are stronger than I do you?
Kermit: It’s not easy being green.
Yoda (ears slightly drooping): Ugh. About it do tell.
Kermit has distracted Yoda with his musings. Baby Wolverine jumps from a branch above. Yoda’s Force senses kick in immediately and before Baby Wolverine can react in time, he is sliced in two. Salacious B. Crumb can be heard laughing at the scene.
Kermit: G-d d*amn! You mother f*ckin’ lizard piece of sh*t! Baby Wolverine was on your own team!!! Why the f*ck are you laughing, you f*ck?!?!
Salacious B. Crumb attempts to comprehend the words of Kermit, but fails. Kermit’s words are lost on him and he begins to cackle again. Yoda uses the Force to carry Crumb over to Kermit. Yoda does a barrel flip and bounds over to the duo. In a matter of seconds, both Kermit and Crumb are killed by the diminutive Jedi.
As Yoda’s Kybuck races through the foliage, he is struck by a spear that pierces into the beast’s side. The Kybuck crashes to the ground. Zombie Ewok #4 walks out of the bushes and rips into the mortally wounded Kybuck. Zombie Ewok #4 feasts on the dead Kybuck’s entrails.
Ewok: Nyubray hooga chobak! [Translation: Tastes like chicken!]
Sifo Dyas sees Count Dooku.
Sifo Dyas: We meet again Count Dooku.
Count Dooku: Unfortunately for you, the same conclusion will follow.
History repeats itself and after a protracted battle of lightsabers Dyas is killed by Dooku.
Aurra Sing is located on a large branch with Savage Opress in her sights. She fires and Opress manages to deflect the sniper fire at the last second. As Opress is about to fight Sing, Houndimus Prime steps into the fray and blasts Sing. Her scorched body falls to the ground below.
Opress: She was mine. . .
Opress storms off, embittered that he was unable to destroy his prey. He is not allowed to brew long though as he spots Dooku joined by Asajj Ventress. Dooku smiles at the sight of Opress.
Asajj: I am your apprentice, master, not this Zabrak scum!
Asajj jumps at Opress and lightsabers flash as the two Dooku apprentices tussle. The red lantern ring of Opress manages to outduel the Sith lavarouk of Ventress. In the end, Opress manages to impale Ventress. As a mortally wounded Ventress crawls toward Dooku, Opress finishes the job and kills her. Dooku then smiles, once again.
Dooku: You have defeated a mere apprentice. Let’s see how you fare against your superior.
Opress does not fair well as Dooku slices him in half. Opress shares the fate of that other “notable” Zabrak.
X-23 and Psylocke fight Black Lantern Darkseid. BL Darkseid’s black lantern constructs and psionic energy combines into a force too powerful for X-23. X-23 perishes. Psylocke manages to use her psycho-blast to rip into BL Darkseid. The black lantern’s body begins to re-assemble itself. Psylocke manages to blast him again. Then, in a miraculous feat of fighting ability (and a whole lot of luck), Psylocke manages to use her psychic kitana sword to destroy the ring. Thus, BL Darkseid becomes inert. Houndimus Prime cannot believe this mere mutant could defeat such a powerful entity. The Transformer unleashes his entire arsenal upon Psylocke, who is decimated by the weaponry.
Yoda faces Count Dooku and Zombie Ewok #4. The crazed ewok runs at Yoda, who easily spins away and slices off its head.
Yoda: For Kybuck that was.
Dooku: I've been waiting for you, Yoda. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.
Yoda: Stolen that line you have. Better the first time it was.
Yoda and Dooku enter into a pitched battle. In the end, Yoda’s fighting ability and green lantern ring are too powerful for the older statesman. Yoda is victorious. Houndimus Prime joins the Jedi.
Yoda: A formidable force did we face in the Midgets. Kudos to them do they deserve. Victory though is ours!
The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants: All dead.
George Washington’s Slaves: Yoda and Hound survive.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Season 4, Week 9: Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family vs. Xavier’s Annihilation Squad
“You have a strong heart. No fear. But stupid! Ignorant like a child!”
-Neytiri
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 9 Match located in Dagobah. They are as follows:
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Dark Supergirl, Predator #47, Monarch, The Black Racer, Freddy Krueger (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Neytiri, Mr. Mint (w/ a blue lightsaber) and Doozer #7.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: The Blob, Perfuma, Dr. Octopus, Goliath, Mighty Joe Young and Gorilla Grodd.
Let the battle begin. . .
Doozer #7 shuffles through the muck. A crashing is heard as a large bush parts displaying an enraged Mighty Joe Young. The ape lifts Doozer #7 off the ground and rips him apart. Mighty Joe Young screams in triumph and then in pain as a blast hits his shoulder. Predator #47’s mounted, shoulder cannon is smoking. The great ape rushes at Predator #47 who impales the ape with a giant spear-like weapon. Mighty Joe Young cringes and holds his stomach in agony. Mr. Mint takes advantage of the ape’s wounds and frantically lashes out at Mighty Joe Young with his blue lightsaber. The combined Predator #47 and Mr. Mint duo manage to kill Mighty Joe Young.
Neytiri searches for prey from the treetops. The blue alien locates Gorilla Grodd. She pulls her bowstring back and lets an arrow fly. The pointed projectile strikes Grodd in the side. Grodd bellows in pain. The hyper-intelligent ape then uses his psionic powers and knocks Neytiri off of the trunk which she stands. Neytiri grasps onto the branch below and hisses. In response, Grodd hisses back. Grodd then uses his psionic powers, once again, to pull Neytiri next to him. His super strength tears the alien in half. Dark Supergirl flies at Grodd in response to the ape killing her teammate. Perfuma also comes to the scene and uses her ecomancer powers. Strands of vines and foliage encase Grodd. Before Grodd is able to use his psionic abilities and strength to break out of the green gauntlets, Dark Supergirl uses her super speed to become a weapon herself. She crushes Grodd’s skull and flies off. A successful Perfuma walks away from Grodd’s dead body. As she takes another step, Monarch teleports next to her. Monarch then blasts Perfuma to cinders.
Dr. Octopus notices Predator #47 scanning for additional prey. His tentacles embrace Predator #47 and crush him to death. Freddy Krueger uses his yellow lantern ring to create his own tentacle construct. Krueger beats and kills Dr. Octopus at his own game. A laughing Krueger flies away. . . straight into the Blob. Although Krueger attempts to escape, the dream warrior cannot escape and is sucked into the gelatinous creature.
The Blob shambles through the swamp’s foliage. Mr. Mint runs away and is pounced upon by Goliath. The gargoyle waits for the Blob to come near them. When his teammate is close, Goliath drop kicks Mr. Mint into the Blob. Mr. Mint is engulfed and dies. One can almost hear the minty belch that escapes from the Blob. The Black Racer skis his way to the fray and uses his cosmic powers to rip the Blob apart. Monarch and Dark Supergirl kill Goliath.
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Dark Supergirl, Monarch and Black Racer survive.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: All dead.
LAYANDER’S SUPER ORANGE KITTIES AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER TO MAKE A NEW FAMILY IS VICTORIOUS!!!
-Neytiri
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 9 Match located in Dagobah. They are as follows:
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Dark Supergirl, Predator #47, Monarch, The Black Racer, Freddy Krueger (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Neytiri, Mr. Mint (w/ a blue lightsaber) and Doozer #7.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: The Blob, Perfuma, Dr. Octopus, Goliath, Mighty Joe Young and Gorilla Grodd.
Let the battle begin. . .
Doozer #7 shuffles through the muck. A crashing is heard as a large bush parts displaying an enraged Mighty Joe Young. The ape lifts Doozer #7 off the ground and rips him apart. Mighty Joe Young screams in triumph and then in pain as a blast hits his shoulder. Predator #47’s mounted, shoulder cannon is smoking. The great ape rushes at Predator #47 who impales the ape with a giant spear-like weapon. Mighty Joe Young cringes and holds his stomach in agony. Mr. Mint takes advantage of the ape’s wounds and frantically lashes out at Mighty Joe Young with his blue lightsaber. The combined Predator #47 and Mr. Mint duo manage to kill Mighty Joe Young.
Neytiri searches for prey from the treetops. The blue alien locates Gorilla Grodd. She pulls her bowstring back and lets an arrow fly. The pointed projectile strikes Grodd in the side. Grodd bellows in pain. The hyper-intelligent ape then uses his psionic powers and knocks Neytiri off of the trunk which she stands. Neytiri grasps onto the branch below and hisses. In response, Grodd hisses back. Grodd then uses his psionic powers, once again, to pull Neytiri next to him. His super strength tears the alien in half. Dark Supergirl flies at Grodd in response to the ape killing her teammate. Perfuma also comes to the scene and uses her ecomancer powers. Strands of vines and foliage encase Grodd. Before Grodd is able to use his psionic abilities and strength to break out of the green gauntlets, Dark Supergirl uses her super speed to become a weapon herself. She crushes Grodd’s skull and flies off. A successful Perfuma walks away from Grodd’s dead body. As she takes another step, Monarch teleports next to her. Monarch then blasts Perfuma to cinders.
Dr. Octopus notices Predator #47 scanning for additional prey. His tentacles embrace Predator #47 and crush him to death. Freddy Krueger uses his yellow lantern ring to create his own tentacle construct. Krueger beats and kills Dr. Octopus at his own game. A laughing Krueger flies away. . . straight into the Blob. Although Krueger attempts to escape, the dream warrior cannot escape and is sucked into the gelatinous creature.
The Blob shambles through the swamp’s foliage. Mr. Mint runs away and is pounced upon by Goliath. The gargoyle waits for the Blob to come near them. When his teammate is close, Goliath drop kicks Mr. Mint into the Blob. Mr. Mint is engulfed and dies. One can almost hear the minty belch that escapes from the Blob. The Black Racer skis his way to the fray and uses his cosmic powers to rip the Blob apart. Monarch and Dark Supergirl kill Goliath.
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Dark Supergirl, Monarch and Black Racer survive.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: All dead.
LAYANDER’S SUPER ORANGE KITTIES AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER TO MAKE A NEW FAMILY IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Season 4 week 8 Team SP vs The Kennelz of Lurve
Team SP is: The Watchmen: Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, Comedian, Ozymandias, Nite Owl II, Captain Metropolis and Silk Spectre II; The Minutemen: Nite Owl I, Silk Spectre I, Dollar Bill, Mothman, Silhouette, Young Comedian, Young Captain Metropolis and Hooded Justice; Bubastis, Planetary: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, Ambrose Chase and The Drummer; Dirty Harry Callahan, Snake Plissken, Paul Kersey, Black Cat and the Smoking Man.
The Kennelz are: Galactus, Terrax, Fin Fang Foom, Dr. Doomsday, Green Lantern #2, Oa Guardians #1-4, Daniel LaRusso w/Green Lantern Ring, Olivia Munn.
Some places in the universe are what I like to call "event magnets." Important things just happen there, all the time. Gotham City, Bayside High, the surprisingly roomy back seat of Josh's Jeep Wrangler… you get the idea.
Our battle begins in one such place: The top of the Giant globe on the Daily Planet.
"WHAT?!!!" shouts Snake to Elijah.
"I SAID, IT'S REALLY WINDY SO IT WILL BE DIFFICULT TO COMMUNICATE UP HERE, WE SHOULD MOVE!" he responded.
"NO I DON'T THINK THE BEST DISNEY MOVIE WAS EMPERORS NEW GROOVE! WHY IS THAT RELEVANT?" snake said.
At this moment a looming shadow fell across the land and the wind suddenly died down.
"ah crap… well you know what old Snake Plissken says when the wind is howling and the demons are bangin at the gates…" snake began to ramble.
"None of those things are happening Snake, besides that's not even your shtick.." replied Elijah.
The ground roared at this moment and the daily planet globe became unhinged from its anchors and plummeted toward the Metropolis street below landing with a deafening crash on the head of Olivia Munn.
"HOLY CRAP! DID YOU SEE THAT! Crushed her like a bug!" shouted the green lanternified karate kid.
"Yeah.. heh, I don't care how pretty you are, gravity always seems to ruin it." says Green Lantern #2
What they were unaware of, was what caused the quake that shook the globe loose from the building.
Galactus had sunk his gigantic fingers into the sides of the planet (not "The Planet" like Jimmy refers to his workplace as… I mean the planet… like Earth)
His giant mouth was bearing down on metropolis to try and end the fight once and for all when every single flight control system on earth sent all of their planes into high orbit at that location, all the missile defense systems around the globe simultaneously launched their payloads in the giant's direction. The resulting explosion of planes caused the giant to hesitate, long enough for the missiles to land and leave his smoldering purple hat the only thing that remained to cover the bleeding stump between his shoulders.
Dr. Doomsday immediately stepped up to face the attack he felt was inevitable during the chaos… but none came…
At least not right away: the Fing Fang Foom was making its way down the street towards his teammates who had gathered at the impact site of the globe when it happened.
"Was that a train whistle?" said Oa Guardian #1…
"Impossible," replied Guardian #2 "the nearest train track is miles away from here…"
"WOOOOH WOOOOOOOOOH" the train's PA system emits an almost human whistle as it slams into the back of the giant three headed dragon/lizard/dinosaur/whateverthehell sending Fing Fang Foom flying through the streets, his tail and wings slamming into cars and parking meters.
The giant green monster comes to a dead stop as he slams into the globe digging it further into the ground and obliterating Green Lantern #2 who was standing a little too close.
"Who is doing this?! It's like the city itself is attacking us!" Shouted Danny through the clouds of dust.
"CHHHKK attention, May I have your attention Please CChhhkkk" a disembodied voice came from the nearest emergency broadcast system antenna.
"is he making the chhkk noises with his mouth?" terrax asked nobody in particular…
"CCHHHKKK uuhh shut up Terrax. Now, sweep the leg Johnny… chhkkk" said the voice.
At this point Rorschach emerged from the haze and kicked the side of Daniel's knee so hard that he instantly crumpled. A wild blast from his ring struck Ozymandias in the head killing him instantly. The rest of team SP then moved in for the kill.
Gunfire rips through the street striking a distracted Daniel Laruso and mortally wounding him. The willful boy is able to channel his focus through his ring and lash out at his nearest enemies he kills Black Cat and the Smoking Man before succumbing to his fatal injuries.
A man emerges from the dust. And Squares off with Dr. Doomsday.
"Man you're ugly" he says.
"I thought you'd be taller." Replies Dr. Doomsday. Who then moves in to attack the figure.
"I get that a lot!" Snake responds as he dodges the Dr.'s double axe handle swing and rolls out of the way of a kick that would have shattered his spine.
"Mr. Smarmy's got backup son…" says Dirty Harry as he unloads his revolver into the chest of the armored behemoth. The .357 magnum rounds punch easily through the steel plated armor of Dr. Doomsday and he collapses.
The Oan Guardians form a protective circle around Terrax . Terrax uses his powers to haul giant boulders out of the shattered street and hurls them at Plissken. The boulders crush Snake and Dirty Harry both.
"CHHHKkkkk:" The loud speaker grinds again. "Now you're asking yourself… did I throw 430 planes at Galactus or 429?"
Terrax responds "Please, another plane? I think we can manage" Terrax then pulls the earth and huge chunks of concrete around himself and the guardians creating an insulated cocoon protecting them from any impact.
"Who are you anyway!?"
The names Drummer…. And I'm not really limited to hitting you from above.
Drummer then taps into the city's utilities server and creates a vacuum at the water filtration plants, he uses the Vaccuum to route boiling water from every building in the city to the section of pipes underneath Terrax and the Guardians, boiling them alive like shellfish in a dutch oven.
Team SP is Victorious!
Dirty Harry, Snake Plissken, Black Cat, The Smoking Man, and Ozymandias have fallen.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad Vs The Transfoamers
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is….
Supergirl, Supreme and Radar, Suprema w/blue lantern ring, Spider Woman, Bonecrusher, Barricade, Brainstrom and Arcana, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker
The Transfoamers are…
Transformers #1-10, Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sergeant Robert Epps, ACWO Forge Figueroa, First Sergeant Donnelly, (zombies) Soundwave and Frenzy, Jedi Masters #9, 29
Supergirl waits with her team on main street in the heart of metropolis.
Supergirl: Were are these p****’s, I don’t have all day.
Just as Supergirl is finishing her sentence, 10 rough looking cars roll up in a v formation. They accelerate and then transform, propelling themselves through the air. Supergirl catches #5 by the ankle and slams him into the street shattering the robot. She grabs for another but then hears one behind her and turns for face it. To Supergirl’s surprise this Transformer to bypasses her as if she is not a threat and goes right for the opposing cybertronians. This sends her into a blind rage.
Supergirl: MOTHER F****ER!!!!
As the Transformers are fighting amongst each other, Supergirl fly’s up and begins indiscriminately crushing and smashing. Transformer 3 and 7 are used a bludgeoning weapons. Barricade is fatally wounded when Supergirl winds up and hits him in the head, She then performs a spin move a takes out numbers 8,9,and 6. Transformers 3 and 7 are now so badly damaged that they are not a threat, but they are also no longer useful weapons, so Supergirl hurls them into space.
Now that she has clamed down she focuses and rounds up the remaining enemy robots. Just as she is about to kill them all she is hit with a saber round that knocks her down. Chief Master Sergeant Robert Epps, ACWO Forge Figueroa, and First Sergeant Donnelly rush the downed kryptonian. They kick her around for a bit , shoot her a few more times to make sure she doesn’t get up, and then Sergeant Epps reaches down and begins cutting off her uniform.
First Sergeant Donnelly: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MAN?!!!
Chief Master Sergeant Robert Epps: Don’t you judge me, this is war and alls fair in love and war, and its not everyday that a black man gets to see a white girls t*****‘s!
Before their teammate is sexually assaulted, Suprema, Spider Woman, Supreme and Radar rip the flesh off the humans bodies. Now they turn their attention to the transformers but fortunately for them Zombie Frenzy and Soundwave have already eaten the remaining cybertronians. Thinking they have won they begin to regroup and congratulate each other. That’s when the Jedi strike, Jedi master # 29 cuts radar into 3 pieces. Jedi Master # 9 goes up against Suprema and is quickly killed with and energy blast. Now angry that they have been ambushed the remaining members of the Annihilation squad disarm Jedi Master # 29 and begin ripping small chunks of flesh from his body until he is a clean skeleton.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is victorious!
Transfoamers:All Dead
Xavier's Annihilation squad:Supreme, Suprema w/blue lantern ring, Spider Woman, Bonecrusher, Barricade, Brainstrom and Arcana, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker
Supergirl, Supreme and Radar, Suprema w/blue lantern ring, Spider Woman, Bonecrusher, Barricade, Brainstrom and Arcana, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker
The Transfoamers are…
Transformers #1-10, Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sergeant Robert Epps, ACWO Forge Figueroa, First Sergeant Donnelly, (zombies) Soundwave and Frenzy, Jedi Masters #9, 29
Supergirl waits with her team on main street in the heart of metropolis.
Supergirl: Were are these p****’s, I don’t have all day.
Just as Supergirl is finishing her sentence, 10 rough looking cars roll up in a v formation. They accelerate and then transform, propelling themselves through the air. Supergirl catches #5 by the ankle and slams him into the street shattering the robot. She grabs for another but then hears one behind her and turns for face it. To Supergirl’s surprise this Transformer to bypasses her as if she is not a threat and goes right for the opposing cybertronians. This sends her into a blind rage.
Supergirl: MOTHER F****ER!!!!
As the Transformers are fighting amongst each other, Supergirl fly’s up and begins indiscriminately crushing and smashing. Transformer 3 and 7 are used a bludgeoning weapons. Barricade is fatally wounded when Supergirl winds up and hits him in the head, She then performs a spin move a takes out numbers 8,9,and 6. Transformers 3 and 7 are now so badly damaged that they are not a threat, but they are also no longer useful weapons, so Supergirl hurls them into space.
Now that she has clamed down she focuses and rounds up the remaining enemy robots. Just as she is about to kill them all she is hit with a saber round that knocks her down. Chief Master Sergeant Robert Epps, ACWO Forge Figueroa, and First Sergeant Donnelly rush the downed kryptonian. They kick her around for a bit , shoot her a few more times to make sure she doesn’t get up, and then Sergeant Epps reaches down and begins cutting off her uniform.
First Sergeant Donnelly: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MAN?!!!
Chief Master Sergeant Robert Epps: Don’t you judge me, this is war and alls fair in love and war, and its not everyday that a black man gets to see a white girls t*****‘s!
Before their teammate is sexually assaulted, Suprema, Spider Woman, Supreme and Radar rip the flesh off the humans bodies. Now they turn their attention to the transformers but fortunately for them Zombie Frenzy and Soundwave have already eaten the remaining cybertronians. Thinking they have won they begin to regroup and congratulate each other. That’s when the Jedi strike, Jedi master # 29 cuts radar into 3 pieces. Jedi Master # 9 goes up against Suprema and is quickly killed with and energy blast. Now angry that they have been ambushed the remaining members of the Annihilation squad disarm Jedi Master # 29 and begin ripping small chunks of flesh from his body until he is a clean skeleton.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is victorious!
Transfoamers:All Dead
Xavier's Annihilation squad:Supreme, Suprema w/blue lantern ring, Spider Woman, Bonecrusher, Barricade, Brainstrom and Arcana, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker
"America needs a break from me" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "WE GOT THE MOTHER F#%@ER!!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's vs George Washington's Slaves
"America needs a break from me" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "WE GOT THE MOTHER F#%@ER!!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's are Dex-Starr, Karu-Sil, Fatality, Taa, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Batzarro, Captain Latin America, Cannon Man, The Bottomless Stomach & Kid-Nee, Ginny Weasly, Luna Lovegood, Spider-Man, Claire Danes, David Hasselhoff, Lady Gaga, and Black Lantern Dozer #1.
George Washington’s Slaves are Yoda (w/Green Lantern Ring) on Kybuck, Houndimus Prime, Agen Kolar, Sifo-Dyas, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Cade Skywalker, Amazo, Black Lantern Darkseid, Jedi Master #2, Jedi Knights #1B-6B, and Savage Opress (w/Red Lantern Ring).
Shortly before the Commandos departed for Metropolis Lady Gaga, Claire Danes and David Hasselhoff are called into the offices of their Head Coach, President Barack Obama. “Guys, take a seat, will you?” says the President. Nervously, the three Commandos sit down in front of Obama’s desk. “In lieu of what has just transpired this evening, I’m…well…how should I put this… feeling a little frosty. So. I have decided. That you three. Will not be getting the start this week. Instead. I’m going to lead the Commandos into victory. Against. George Washington’s Slaves. Thank you. Good night. God bless. And God Bless the Commandos. The President stands up, takes his normal navy suit coat off and straps on a tactical vest that is fully loaded with weapons and ammunition. “Wow. I haven’t seen the Prez this fired up before,” says David Hasselhoff. “Yeah no kidding. Did you see the glimmer in his eye? He looked like he was ready to take on the entire American League by himself,” Claire replies.
Back in the locker room of the Slaves, Head Coach George Washington and Yoda are meditating in President Washington’s chambers. “Hmmm, a line up change the Commandos have made,” Yoda says. “Yes, I feel it as well. President Obama is going to lead his team into battle,” Washington responds. “It’s an honorable move. One that I will oblige. However, Kybuck will need to remain her in the locker room, Master Yoda.” “Understand do I. Depart let us,” Yoda replies. President Washington then grabs his green lightsaber and orders his team to prepare for battle.
The hour is late, and the Slaves are the first ones to arrive. The Jedi squad all pile out of the back of Houndimus Prime as he pulls to a stop right in front of the statues of Superman and Superboy in Centennial Park. Amazo and Savage Opress (courtesy of his Red Lantern ring) fly over head providing cover for the Slaves. There are then several flashes of different colored lights that zip through the air towards them as the Commandos arrive on the scene. Dex-Starr, Karu-Sil, Fatality, and Taa all fly through the air and attack Amazo at once. The android quickly begins to adapt itself and uses the Lanterns’ own powers against them. Taa is melted by a bath of red energy that Amazo spews at him. Savage Opress ignites his double-bladed lightsaber as he attacks Karu-Sil. The Yellow Lantern sicks her yellow energy attack dogs on the Nightbrother, but he slices through them with his lightsaber. He then flies up to her and coats her with red rage energy as he cuts her head clean off. Fatality tries to battle Amazo, but the android is way too powerful for a mere Star Sapphire and succumbs to his might. Dex-Starr finds himself being attacked by a Green Lantern ring wielding Yoda, who quickly overpowers the cat with his mastery of the Force and his ring. Savage Opress is then hit hard by a cannonball that was fired out of Cannon Man’s mouth. The Nightbrother falls to the ground and lands right in front of President Obama. He pulls out a KA-BAR and drives it into the base of Opress’s skull.
The duo of Ginny Weasly and Luna Lovegood find themselves being attacked by a Zombie Ki Adi Mundi. The two try and blast him with several magical spells, but he blocks them with a corrupted version of the Force. They then hear several small beeping noises coming from behind the half-dead Jedi master. Ki Adi’s head then soon explodes, thanks to a couple small explosives President Obama had stuck to him. “Thanks Mr. President,” the girls say in unison. “His death does not mark the end of our effort. So on your feet girls,” says the President. They follow the President who also has Batzarro with him when they are attacked by Cade Skywalker, Agen Kolar and Sifo-Dyas. Batzarro sacrifices himself by leaping in front of Skywalker’s lightsaber that was meant for the President. Obama then unloads his M-45 MEUSOC into the chest of Skywalker. Ginny and Luna hit Masters Kolar and Dyas with dual magical spells, knocking them to the ground. The President then uses his Milkor MGL to fire several grenades at the Jedi’s, thus blowing them to pieces. Obama then kneels down and picks up Cade Skywalker’s lightsaber. “Never know. We may need this,” he says to the girls.
Black Lantern Optimus Prime then searches out Houndimus Prime. “Ahh, Hound. If you could. I’d like MY Matrix back,” says the Black Lantern. “You’re not really Optimus. The REAL Optimus Prime would never make such a request,” retorts Houndimus. “Fine then. How about I just take it!!” screams Black Lantern Optimus as he lunges at Houndimus and tries to rip the Matrix of Leadership out of Houndimus’s chest. The former Autobot scout kicks the manifestation of his former leader off of him and blasts him with his laser rifle. He blows Black Lantern Optimus’s head clean off. But it reforms moments later. Black Lantern Prime flies back at Houndimus and begins to tear at his chest. He is then blasted back by and incoming Yoda. “The Matrix, powerful weapon it is,” the Jedi Master says to his teammate. Yoda then continues his attack and with the combination of the Force and his Green Lantern ring is able to eradicate Black Lantern Optimus Prime.
Meanwhile in front of LexCorp Towers, Captain Latin America, The Bottomless Stomach, Kid-Nee and Cannon Man are surrounded by Jedi Master #2, and Jedi Knights #1B - 6B. Captain Latin America launches his shield into the air and knocks Jedi Knight #6B down. Jedi Knight #3B leaps into the air to attack, but the Bottomless Stomach opens his mouth and swallows him whole. Cannon Man is firing multiple cannonballs at the Jedi Knights, forcing them to take cover. This allows Black Lantern Dozer #1 to fly and in shoot right through the chest cavity of Jedi Knight #1B. Then Jedi Master #2 and Jedi Knight #5B double team Black Lantern Dozer #1 to take him out. Black Lantern Darkseid then arrives and crushes Kid-Nee. The Bottomless Stomach lunges towards the Black Lantern with his mouth wide open, but receives a blast of Omega Beams right down the gullet, and frying him from the inside out. Captain Latin America finishes of Jedi Knight #6B just in time to witness Black Lantern Darkseid ripping the heart out of Cannon Man. Captain Latin America goes to attack, but is scooped up by Spider-Man, who swings by on his webbing. “What are you doin’ esse??” asks Captain Latin America. “Dude, come on, that guy would have annihilated you!” replies Spider-Man. “Besides, we’ve got to regroup with the President.”
Spider-Man and Captain Latin America finally meet up with President Obama, Ginny Weasly and Luna Lovegood. They quickly find themselves outnumbered against the Slaves with Black Lantern Darkseid leading the pack. He fires his Omega Beams straight at President Obama, but the beams jut around him and incinerate Ginny and Luna. Captain Latin America and Spider-Man rush into action as President Obama finds himself face to face with Black Lantern Darkseid. “What powers could you possibly have to defeat someone like me?” bellows BL Darkseid. A calm and collected President replies, “Powers? Powers you ask, huh? How about the power of the whole free world at my disposal.” Black Lantern Darkseid begins to laugh at such a preposterous statement. Obama takes advantage of this moment and drives Cade Skywalker’s lightsaber deep into BL Darkseid’s chest and slaps chunk of C4 to Darkseid’s torso. He then ducks out of the way of an oncoming Amazo attack. The android crashes into his own teammate and causes an explosion that kills both of them. Captain Latin America is overwhelmed by Jedi Master #2 and Jedi Knight #4B and is defeated. Spider-Man, however, is able to take out Jedi Knight #5B and Jedi Knight #2B before being knocked back by Yoda’s Green Lantern ring. George Washington then slowly, but purposefully makes his way right towards President Obama. “I heard what you’ve done this week, and I wanted to come and personally congratulate you,” Washington says to Obama. “Thank you very much Mr. President, but our match isn’t over with yet,” replies Obama. “You misunderstand me,” Washington says back. “I heard you finally eliminated Osama Bin Laden. Good work. But you will not win this battle. You have fought valiantly. This battle, however, has been won by the Slaves. I am sorry.” “Come on, Mr. President he’s right, let’s go,” Spider-Man says to his Head Coach. Washington extends his hand out to Obama, who receives the handshake as the battle concludes. As Spider-Man and the President leave Metropolis, Spidey turns to him and says “Dude you realize you took out Black Lantern Darkseid and Bin Laden in the same week??”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
George Washington’s Slaves are Yoda (w/Green Lantern Ring) on Kybuck, Houndimus Prime, Agen Kolar, Sifo-Dyas, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Cade Skywalker, Amazo, Black Lantern Darkseid, Jedi Master #2, Jedi Knights #1B-6B, and Savage Opress (w/Red Lantern Ring).
Shortly before the Commandos departed for Metropolis Lady Gaga, Claire Danes and David Hasselhoff are called into the offices of their Head Coach, President Barack Obama. “Guys, take a seat, will you?” says the President. Nervously, the three Commandos sit down in front of Obama’s desk. “In lieu of what has just transpired this evening, I’m…well…how should I put this… feeling a little frosty. So. I have decided. That you three. Will not be getting the start this week. Instead. I’m going to lead the Commandos into victory. Against. George Washington’s Slaves. Thank you. Good night. God bless. And God Bless the Commandos. The President stands up, takes his normal navy suit coat off and straps on a tactical vest that is fully loaded with weapons and ammunition. “Wow. I haven’t seen the Prez this fired up before,” says David Hasselhoff. “Yeah no kidding. Did you see the glimmer in his eye? He looked like he was ready to take on the entire American League by himself,” Claire replies.
Back in the locker room of the Slaves, Head Coach George Washington and Yoda are meditating in President Washington’s chambers. “Hmmm, a line up change the Commandos have made,” Yoda says. “Yes, I feel it as well. President Obama is going to lead his team into battle,” Washington responds. “It’s an honorable move. One that I will oblige. However, Kybuck will need to remain her in the locker room, Master Yoda.” “Understand do I. Depart let us,” Yoda replies. President Washington then grabs his green lightsaber and orders his team to prepare for battle.
The hour is late, and the Slaves are the first ones to arrive. The Jedi squad all pile out of the back of Houndimus Prime as he pulls to a stop right in front of the statues of Superman and Superboy in Centennial Park. Amazo and Savage Opress (courtesy of his Red Lantern ring) fly over head providing cover for the Slaves. There are then several flashes of different colored lights that zip through the air towards them as the Commandos arrive on the scene. Dex-Starr, Karu-Sil, Fatality, and Taa all fly through the air and attack Amazo at once. The android quickly begins to adapt itself and uses the Lanterns’ own powers against them. Taa is melted by a bath of red energy that Amazo spews at him. Savage Opress ignites his double-bladed lightsaber as he attacks Karu-Sil. The Yellow Lantern sicks her yellow energy attack dogs on the Nightbrother, but he slices through them with his lightsaber. He then flies up to her and coats her with red rage energy as he cuts her head clean off. Fatality tries to battle Amazo, but the android is way too powerful for a mere Star Sapphire and succumbs to his might. Dex-Starr finds himself being attacked by a Green Lantern ring wielding Yoda, who quickly overpowers the cat with his mastery of the Force and his ring. Savage Opress is then hit hard by a cannonball that was fired out of Cannon Man’s mouth. The Nightbrother falls to the ground and lands right in front of President Obama. He pulls out a KA-BAR and drives it into the base of Opress’s skull.
The duo of Ginny Weasly and Luna Lovegood find themselves being attacked by a Zombie Ki Adi Mundi. The two try and blast him with several magical spells, but he blocks them with a corrupted version of the Force. They then hear several small beeping noises coming from behind the half-dead Jedi master. Ki Adi’s head then soon explodes, thanks to a couple small explosives President Obama had stuck to him. “Thanks Mr. President,” the girls say in unison. “His death does not mark the end of our effort. So on your feet girls,” says the President. They follow the President who also has Batzarro with him when they are attacked by Cade Skywalker, Agen Kolar and Sifo-Dyas. Batzarro sacrifices himself by leaping in front of Skywalker’s lightsaber that was meant for the President. Obama then unloads his M-45 MEUSOC into the chest of Skywalker. Ginny and Luna hit Masters Kolar and Dyas with dual magical spells, knocking them to the ground. The President then uses his Milkor MGL to fire several grenades at the Jedi’s, thus blowing them to pieces. Obama then kneels down and picks up Cade Skywalker’s lightsaber. “Never know. We may need this,” he says to the girls.
Black Lantern Optimus Prime then searches out Houndimus Prime. “Ahh, Hound. If you could. I’d like MY Matrix back,” says the Black Lantern. “You’re not really Optimus. The REAL Optimus Prime would never make such a request,” retorts Houndimus. “Fine then. How about I just take it!!” screams Black Lantern Optimus as he lunges at Houndimus and tries to rip the Matrix of Leadership out of Houndimus’s chest. The former Autobot scout kicks the manifestation of his former leader off of him and blasts him with his laser rifle. He blows Black Lantern Optimus’s head clean off. But it reforms moments later. Black Lantern Prime flies back at Houndimus and begins to tear at his chest. He is then blasted back by and incoming Yoda. “The Matrix, powerful weapon it is,” the Jedi Master says to his teammate. Yoda then continues his attack and with the combination of the Force and his Green Lantern ring is able to eradicate Black Lantern Optimus Prime.
Meanwhile in front of LexCorp Towers, Captain Latin America, The Bottomless Stomach, Kid-Nee and Cannon Man are surrounded by Jedi Master #2, and Jedi Knights #1B - 6B. Captain Latin America launches his shield into the air and knocks Jedi Knight #6B down. Jedi Knight #3B leaps into the air to attack, but the Bottomless Stomach opens his mouth and swallows him whole. Cannon Man is firing multiple cannonballs at the Jedi Knights, forcing them to take cover. This allows Black Lantern Dozer #1 to fly and in shoot right through the chest cavity of Jedi Knight #1B. Then Jedi Master #2 and Jedi Knight #5B double team Black Lantern Dozer #1 to take him out. Black Lantern Darkseid then arrives and crushes Kid-Nee. The Bottomless Stomach lunges towards the Black Lantern with his mouth wide open, but receives a blast of Omega Beams right down the gullet, and frying him from the inside out. Captain Latin America finishes of Jedi Knight #6B just in time to witness Black Lantern Darkseid ripping the heart out of Cannon Man. Captain Latin America goes to attack, but is scooped up by Spider-Man, who swings by on his webbing. “What are you doin’ esse??” asks Captain Latin America. “Dude, come on, that guy would have annihilated you!” replies Spider-Man. “Besides, we’ve got to regroup with the President.”
Spider-Man and Captain Latin America finally meet up with President Obama, Ginny Weasly and Luna Lovegood. They quickly find themselves outnumbered against the Slaves with Black Lantern Darkseid leading the pack. He fires his Omega Beams straight at President Obama, but the beams jut around him and incinerate Ginny and Luna. Captain Latin America and Spider-Man rush into action as President Obama finds himself face to face with Black Lantern Darkseid. “What powers could you possibly have to defeat someone like me?” bellows BL Darkseid. A calm and collected President replies, “Powers? Powers you ask, huh? How about the power of the whole free world at my disposal.” Black Lantern Darkseid begins to laugh at such a preposterous statement. Obama takes advantage of this moment and drives Cade Skywalker’s lightsaber deep into BL Darkseid’s chest and slaps chunk of C4 to Darkseid’s torso. He then ducks out of the way of an oncoming Amazo attack. The android crashes into his own teammate and causes an explosion that kills both of them. Captain Latin America is overwhelmed by Jedi Master #2 and Jedi Knight #4B and is defeated. Spider-Man, however, is able to take out Jedi Knight #5B and Jedi Knight #2B before being knocked back by Yoda’s Green Lantern ring. George Washington then slowly, but purposefully makes his way right towards President Obama. “I heard what you’ve done this week, and I wanted to come and personally congratulate you,” Washington says to Obama. “Thank you very much Mr. President, but our match isn’t over with yet,” replies Obama. “You misunderstand me,” Washington says back. “I heard you finally eliminated Osama Bin Laden. Good work. But you will not win this battle. You have fought valiantly. This battle, however, has been won by the Slaves. I am sorry.” “Come on, Mr. President he’s right, let’s go,” Spider-Man says to his Head Coach. Washington extends his hand out to Obama, who receives the handshake as the battle concludes. As Spider-Man and the President leave Metropolis, Spidey turns to him and says “Dude you realize you took out Black Lantern Darkseid and Bin Laden in the same week??”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Oblivio Vs Team
Oblivio is
Space Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, Nightsister Sith Witch, and Golden Army #37-42
Team is…
Justice Legion Alpha: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Hourman, Starman, The Atom, and Resurrection Man ,Lor Zod, and Mr. Awesome
Its 12:20 on Sunday and I am just getting to metropolis, not five minutes after leaving hertz my car is smashed by a flying fire hydrant.
Griffin Poteracki: SON OF A B****! Dude come on I don’t even have an insurance agent anymore, he was shish ka bobbed the other day.
Jet Jaguar is being surrounded and rushed one at a time by the JLA, Batman is floored by a front kick, Resurrection Man is kicked clean in half, the Flash is snatched up as if he were sitting still and choked unconscious, and wonder woman is thrown over two buildings. Hourman, Starman, and The Atom all pounce on Jaguar and manage to hold him long enough for their team to regroup. But things didn’t end they way they had hoped, Nightsister Sith Witch #19 hit’s the JLA with a force blast she had been conjuring since the very start of the battle. As the Mightiest heroes of the 853rd century are stunned, the Golden army soldiers move in, hold them all down, and systematically begin to decapitate each one of them.
Its Beginning to look like a blow out …..until…suddenly a car pulls up. You can’t see inside because of all the smoke. Then the two occupant get out. Its none other than Lor Zod and Mr. Awesome, who have been clam baking in the car they just stole for about the pat twenty minutes.
Lor Zod: Dude they already killed our who F***in team.?
Mr. Awesome: Weak.
Lor Zod: Should we retreat?
Mr. Awesome; F*** that, we got this.
The Duo goes on the offensive. Lor zod fly’s over to the Sith Witch and squares up with her. The Sith switches on her light saber.
Lor Zod: hey, that’s a pretty cool d***o you got their, But I bet its not got at a distance.
Before she can ever think of charging, Zod melts her head with a short blast from his eyes.
Mr. Awesome sets his sight’s on space Godzilla. He runs full speed toward the lizard, dodging fire blasts the whole time. After reaching the gigantic monsters feet he runs even faster propelling himself vertically towards the monster kings head. Once our hero reaches Godzilla’s neck line he plunges himself into the monsters eye and then burst’s out the other eye holding a toddler size chunk of brain. As the Beast’s corpse falls Lor Zod grabs a hold and throws it at Jet Jaguar, trapping him underneath. The Two Team Teammates rush over and begin to stomp on jets head, after puncturing a hole, Mr. Awesome urinates into the hole and finally short circuit’s the robot.
The golden army is all that is left.
The duo begin to smash all 7 golden robots to bits, but they just keep putting themselves back together.
Mr. Awesome: I’ve got and idea. I will smash them up and you take the pieces as fast as you can to different pawn shops all around the city. They can’t put themselves back together if they are miles apart.
It took about 13 hours but they got the job done and are $38,000 richer for it.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
OBLIVIO: ALL DEAD!
TEAM: Lor Zod and Mr. Awesome Survive.
Space Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, Nightsister Sith Witch, and Golden Army #37-42
Team is…
Justice Legion Alpha: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Hourman, Starman, The Atom, and Resurrection Man ,Lor Zod, and Mr. Awesome
Its 12:20 on Sunday and I am just getting to metropolis, not five minutes after leaving hertz my car is smashed by a flying fire hydrant.
Griffin Poteracki: SON OF A B****! Dude come on I don’t even have an insurance agent anymore, he was shish ka bobbed the other day.
Jet Jaguar is being surrounded and rushed one at a time by the JLA, Batman is floored by a front kick, Resurrection Man is kicked clean in half, the Flash is snatched up as if he were sitting still and choked unconscious, and wonder woman is thrown over two buildings. Hourman, Starman, and The Atom all pounce on Jaguar and manage to hold him long enough for their team to regroup. But things didn’t end they way they had hoped, Nightsister Sith Witch #19 hit’s the JLA with a force blast she had been conjuring since the very start of the battle. As the Mightiest heroes of the 853rd century are stunned, the Golden army soldiers move in, hold them all down, and systematically begin to decapitate each one of them.
Its Beginning to look like a blow out …..until…suddenly a car pulls up. You can’t see inside because of all the smoke. Then the two occupant get out. Its none other than Lor Zod and Mr. Awesome, who have been clam baking in the car they just stole for about the pat twenty minutes.
Lor Zod: Dude they already killed our who F***in team.?
Mr. Awesome: Weak.
Lor Zod: Should we retreat?
Mr. Awesome; F*** that, we got this.
The Duo goes on the offensive. Lor zod fly’s over to the Sith Witch and squares up with her. The Sith switches on her light saber.
Lor Zod: hey, that’s a pretty cool d***o you got their, But I bet its not got at a distance.
Before she can ever think of charging, Zod melts her head with a short blast from his eyes.
Mr. Awesome sets his sight’s on space Godzilla. He runs full speed toward the lizard, dodging fire blasts the whole time. After reaching the gigantic monsters feet he runs even faster propelling himself vertically towards the monster kings head. Once our hero reaches Godzilla’s neck line he plunges himself into the monsters eye and then burst’s out the other eye holding a toddler size chunk of brain. As the Beast’s corpse falls Lor Zod grabs a hold and throws it at Jet Jaguar, trapping him underneath. The Two Team Teammates rush over and begin to stomp on jets head, after puncturing a hole, Mr. Awesome urinates into the hole and finally short circuit’s the robot.
The golden army is all that is left.
The duo begin to smash all 7 golden robots to bits, but they just keep putting themselves back together.
Mr. Awesome: I’ve got and idea. I will smash them up and you take the pieces as fast as you can to different pawn shops all around the city. They can’t put themselves back together if they are miles apart.
It took about 13 hours but they got the job done and are $38,000 richer for it.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
OBLIVIO: ALL DEAD!
TEAM: Lor Zod and Mr. Awesome Survive.
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