Week 7 Consortium: The Empire vs Midgets

Empire is Abeloth (-4), The Ancient One, Raven (-4), Jesse Quick, The Rancor, Mystique (-4), Splinter, Shockwave (-4), Magnus Bane, & Baby Ewok #3 (-4).

Midgets are Darth Maul (w/ Orange Lantern Ring & The Darksaber (-4)), Capt. America, White Lantern Qui Gon Jinn, Vampire Wolverine (-4), Vampire Sinestro, Assajj Ventress, Gabby Kinney (-4), Super Mouse (-4), Allia Atreides, Mother Talzin, Nightsister Spirit, & Fire Bender #1-5.

S13 Week 7: Dinomites vs TEAM

 

Dinomites are: Robin Hood, Little John, Dr Strange, Wong, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Link w/ Master Sword, Hylian Shield, and Green Lantern Ring Avatar Kyoshi, Dark Dragon (45) The Shining Force: (55) Max ( The Leader of the Shining Force) w/ The Chaos Breaker, White Ring, Indigo Lantern Ring, and Green Lantern Ring Lowe w/ Holy Staff Mae w/ Halberd Ken w/ Chrome Lance Luke w/ Atlas Axe Hans w/ Elvin Arrow Tao w/ Demon Rod Gong w/ Power Ring Gort w/ Heat Axe Khris w/ Guardian Staff Anri 2/ Power Staff Arthur w/ Steel Lance Balbaroy w/ Broad Sword Amon w/ Sword of Darkness Diane w/ Angel Wing Zylo w/ Shower of Cure Pelle w/ Valkyrie Vankar w/ Power Spear Kokichi w/ Wooden Lance Guntz w/ Jogurt Ring Jogurt w/ Black Ring Domingo w/ Devil Lance Earnest w/ Power Staff Alef w/ Healing Seed Torasu w/ Buster Shot Lyle w/ Speed Ring Bleu w/ Evil Ring Adam w/ Doom Blade Hanzou w/ Katana Musashi Boken

 

TEAM is: Optimus Prime (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership), Roller, Hot Rod, General Grevious, Magnaguard Droid #1-2, Bill Rizer, Lance Beam, Ms. Marvel, Trygon, The Mighty Morphin Artrip Rangers: (Red Ranger Chris Artrip, Pink Ranger Julie Artrip (With Weapons and Artifact Zord Callers), Yellow Ranger Ella Artrip, Blue Ranger Jack Artrip, Black Ranger Ben Artrip), Josh & Kids Lantern Crew, Mike Geney: Jedi Knight, Post Porch Zombie Al Dogg, Mandolorian Clan Leader Adam Hernandez, Mandolorian Kate Hernandez, Mandolorian Child Jackson Hernandez, Madolorian Eric Gilson, Autobot #4, Magic School Bus

 

Happy Thursday everyone! It’s time for your always on time super late Artifact matchup. I’m getting paid to write this so lets crank this turd out between phone calls and meetings and see how I can make Alex mad at me this week. LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!!!

First off, the shining force is banned next year. Who wants to write 90 fucking characters? No one. So I assume they are all little and shit. They get to fighting with all the real kids on TEAM and before you know it they are all just having fun playing hide and seek in the forest and talking about Minecraft and Roblox. All the adults start to fight for real and the kids decide to board the magic school bus and fuck off to somewhere with internet. The woods are boring. Lame ass boomers.

Link does some whirl wind damage and kills Chris and Adam but the Contra boys just picked up a fire gun powerup and burn the Hyrulian Hero to a crisp. Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl pick a fight with Ms. Marvel, Julie Artrip and Kate Hernandez. They start to slip around in the mud and it goes from a fight to more giggling and wrestling. Things are starting to get hot. Even Zombie Al Dogg rises one more time. While all the guys are watching the girls wrestle an arrow from Robin Hood takes out Gilson, Josh, and the Contra guys. Little John (YEAAAHHH!! WHAT????) gets low and jabs his staff into the guts of Magnaguard #1. An epic staff duel takes place between John and Magnaguard #2 and the bandit get the upper hand and manages to finish off the pair. Then they both die from a rocket from Optimus prime that also manages to take out all the wrestling ladies.

Hot Rod and roller race in along side Optimus along with Grievous and Trygon in the final battle against Dr. Strange, Wong, Avatar Kyosi and Dark Dragon. Dark Dragon (which I am assuming is an actual dragon but I’m not googling it so if it isn’t then whatever.) flies and and burns up roller and digs its talons into Hot Rod causing it to short circuit long enough for Wong to spin a silly little circle and cut the Autobot in half. Trygon then jumps on and rips the head off the dragon. He then jumps to land on Wong but Wong is able to cast a flesh burning spell or something just as Trygon crushes him and they both die. Grievous does a spin move toward Kyoshi but Kyoshi bends the trees and earth to kill the droid. Final death Optimus Prime is putting on a clinic today and while Kyoshi’s attention is at Grievous he stomps him flat and dead while putting a perfectly placed rocket into Dr. Strange who appears to be meditating on the floor of the forest.

…

…

Optimus looks around at the quiet landscape and wonders why the match hasn’t ended yet.

…

“PRIME! I’VE COME TO BARGIN!!” are the last words he hears as he is ripped apart bolt by bolt and his entire being is scattered across the universe.

Crack Deezys vs Barkleys Week 7

Barkleys- Artemis, Pan, Darth Nihilus, Blue Beetle on Captain Latin America’s 4 Wheeler, Sgt. Slaughter, Red Dog, Tarus, and Mercer in Military Humvee, Lady Dimitrescu, Robo-Barkley, Galvatron, Goku Black, Crimmell, Jill Stein, Green Dragon #1-4

Crack Danks- Taka (Sasuke, Karin, Jugo, Suigetsu), Mace Windu, Peacemaker, Bloodsport, The Eradicator, Balrog of Moria*, Tormund Giantsbane, Jorah Mormont, Cole MacGrath, Flying Monkey #2*, Flying Monkey #6*, Flying Monkey #7, Watchdog #5

Artemis and Pan made the forest extremely overgrown concealing both teams movements. The Eradicator and Goku Black met above the trees and destruction soon ensued. Taka, Bloodsport, and Peacemaker were moving on one flank, while Mace Windu, Tormund, Jorah, Cole, the flying monkeys and Watchdog #5, moved on the other. Goku and the Eradicator were both countering each other well. The Eradicator was able to dodge Goku Black quite easily but his response was rather lack luster. Both of their attacks left the land utterly destroyed, with new craters and canyons being made in every direction. 

The first team was moving as quick as the could, hoping to catch Barkleys off guard. They ran into Blue Beetle on patrol and soon the humvee pulled up to back him up. Peacemaker and Bloodsport were trading fire with the G.I.s. Peacemaker was winged and Bloodsport blew up the humvee. Blue Beetle picked up the weakened Peacemaker and lifted him up really high, before dropping him. Bloodsport continued moving up in the commotion and picked off Tarus and Mercer. Taka waited for Blue Beetle to come back down and sprung a trap. Suigetsu got his wings wet, making it hard to fly for a moment. Then Sasuke and Jugo jumped on him, but their attacks didn’t do very much and they were shook off. BB grabbed Karin and used her as a shield. Sasuke grabbed his sword and channeled his lighting, stabbing through Karin and penetrating Blue Beetles armor. Then they cleaned up the last of the G.I.s and continued moving forward.

Squad 2 walked into a small opening in the woods when they were jumped by Darth Nihilus, Robo-Barkley, Crimmell, Jill Stein, and Pan. Mace and Nihilus were going hard in lightsaber combat, both feeding off the power of the other. Tormund ran and tackled Robo-Barkley and began beating in its head. Jorah quickly dispatched Crimmell and Jill Stein with his blade. Pan stabbed Tormund in the side with his horns, but Tormund looked down at him and pulled his horns out before ripping one off, using it to attack. Jorah tried to help Windu, but Nihilus cut his sword in half, then drained his life force. Nihilus sent force lighting at Mace, when Cole hopped in and absorbed it for himself before unleashing back, sending Nihilus flying. Windu was sufficiently gassed at this point and Cole did his best to stall so he could catch his breath. Cole kept Nihilus on the back pedal before running out of electricity to use. With none in sight, Nihilus struck him down. Windu managed to get enough energy together and pulled Nihilus in before crushing in his body and destroying him. Artemis was waiting nearby and finished off the Jedi Master, who had nothing left.

Tormund finished bashing in Robo-Barkley, before looking at Pan, who was still in pain from having a horn ripped out. Artemis showed up to save her counter part and shot Tormund through the body. Yelling though the pain, he rushed at Pan and began bashing down on him, before Artemis finished him. Pan was very injured and struggled to get on his feet, that’s when the flying monkeys dropped from the trees and Watchdog #5 began opening fire. Artemis was struggling to shoot the monkeys out of the sky as Watchdog was providing suppressing fire. Soon Pan was being picked apart by the monkeys, who were ripping off whatever they could hold onto. Artemis managed to kill them all and Watchdog #5, but all that was left of Pan was unrecognizable. 

The Balrog of Moria was stalking through the woods, when he found Green Dragons #1-4 moving through the woods. He jumped out from the shadows and slew two of them in an instant. He then wrapped his whip around one of their necks before jumping on its back. Durin’s bane forcefully guided it into the other dragon, causing them to tumble before finishing them while they were down. After killing all the dragons, Lady Dimitrescu emerged. The Balrog let out a war cry in her face while she stood unfazed. As the whip closed in on her, she extended her claws and cut the whip. She proceeded to slash the beast, who let out an even louder roar and with his anger the forest around him began to burn. Dimitrescu grew into a large creature and began swiping at the balrog. The remaining members of Taka and Bloodsport arrived to help the balrog, while Galvatron appeared to aid Dimitrescu. Bloodsport, Jugo and Suigetsu set out to distract Galvatron while Sasuke could help Durin’s Bane finish Dimitrescu. 

Sasuke got into his susanoo and started to attack the dragon. Galvatron could see the three approaching him and let out a barrage of fire. Bloodsport and Jugo were caught in the blast. Suigetsu managed to surround Galvatron in water, making his weapons blowup in his face. This bought Sasuke and the Balrog enough time to find Lady Dimitrescu’s humanoid form and destroy it. Galvatron escaped from Suigestu and unleashed such a payload that all the water evaporated, killing Suigestsu in the process. The Balrog and Sasuke now stood opposite of of Galvatron. Combining their might, an armored Balrog charged the robot, wrapping its whip around it and pulled it in before cutting it in half.

The Eradicator finally bested Goku in an exchange, but at a great cost to himself. While Goku was hurt, the Eradicator could no longer function and Goku finished him off with one of them Kamehamehas. Sasuke and the Balrog finished off Artemis on the ground before looking to the sky. Grabbing Goku by the leg, they plunged deep into canyons, hoping to destroy him deep in the core. As they fell, they exchanged so many hits that it was hard to tell what was going on. At some point in the fall the Susanoo broke and Sasuke was killed by Goku, but they continued to fall. Eventually they disappeared, but several days later the Balrog of Moria remerged on the surface, suggesting he completed his mission.

Guardians vs House Elves

 Guardians: The Guardians of the Galaxy *all 4 death* (Star Lord, Drax, Gamora, Rocket and Groot), Daenyrus and Her Dragon, Q (4 death), The Predacons (Razorclaw, Divebomb, Headstrong, Rampage, and Tantrum).  Rayden, Amon, The ninth sister, and orc 21-24

House Elves: Firelord Sozin, Captain Rex, Video Game Mike Tyson, Ron Weasley, Shredder, Santa and his reindeer (Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen), Haggred, M Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog, zaheer, mako, Airbender 4

This is gonna be a bloodbath

The House Elves have themselves rooted deep into the Sherwood Forest.  They have taken over the land without Treebeard being present.  Unknown who has run this squad into Forest but Daenyrus and the rest of the Guardians are ready to rid this relic of a Forest of the trash that has taken cover there.

The House Elves have commenced different training routines throughout the Forest.  In one area is Mike Tyson training Balrog, M Bison, Sagat and Vega.  This was until they are met by the Guardians of the Galaxy who were sent to start eliminating targets in the Forest.  The fight quickly commenced.  The street Fighters and Mike Tyson stood little to no chance but fought for their stolen land like Americans know how.  Mike Tyson and Balrog were able to catch the Trash Panda and took out Rocket.  They quickly moved to attack Gamora who was weakened in her fight with Vega and Bison.   Giving Mike Tyson the opportunity to punch her head clean off.  StarLord quickly retaliated with Groot and wiped out the fighters as their strength was no match while Drax kept beating Sagat to death.  

While flying trying to get more information the Forest, Daenyrus ran into Santa and his reindeer.  "Santa, I'm sorry the power of belief isn't going to help you here" said Daenyrus as she brunt the fat man in a red coat with his reindeer.  

This led Firelord Sozin, Zaheer, Mako, and Airbender 4 to defend themselves against the Predacons.  They were able to destroy Razorclaw  and Divebomb with their powers.  This wasn't going to give them the win tho.  Rampage and Tantrum formed the Predaking and wiped the weakened squad out.  

Headstrong went deeper into the Forest only to be taken out by Ron Weasley.  Weasley is on the juice and is ready to slay those who try to stop him from taking this forest.  Him, Haggred and Captain Rex are all that remain of the house Elves.  

Weasley quickly took out Rayden.  Then followed it up by killing Amon while calling him a "communist".

Captain Rex met his fate to the Ninth Sister.  Ron and Haggred were trapped.  Daenyrus and her Dragon let out one last attack to kill the Wizards but caught some of her team in the crossfire.  Killing not only the wizards but The Ninth Sister, and Drax.  

The Striders of Rohan Vs. Affirmative Action Popeye's

 The Striders of Rohan are Treebeard, Blue Wizard #1 & 2, Arwen Evenstar (w/ blue lantern ring), Elrond, Faramir (w/ blue lantern ring), Eomer, Eowyn (w/ blue lantern ring), Gimli, Zufa Cenva, & Norma Cenva (w/ green lantern ring).

Affirmative Action Popeye's is The Centurions:  Ace McLeod, Jake Rockwell, Max Ray, John Thunder, & Rex Charger, Kane of Runefast, Cyclops, Archangel, Ice Man, Beast, Gandalf the White, Dr. Doom, Iroh (w/ Power Ring), Alucard, & Mysterio (w/ a Glock).

Popeye's sure has these Striders outgunned when it comes to modern technology and firepower; but they are having very little success in finding any of the Striders who have taken to the trees and relied on guerilla tactics in the heavily wooded setting of Sherwood Forest.  Much to the dismay of Gandalf the White, the rest of his squad, led by Cyclops himself is in no way holding back as they scorch the forest in search of their prey.  

Treebeard has still not yet decided if he is going to help out his teammates or not yet in this battle; as he is not even sure if this is his war.  Although he is certain that the Popeye's Forces are just as bad as orcs.  He is also visibly upset that The White Wizard has once again come to a forest with destruction as his intent.  

With as loud as Gimli is breathing, you would have thought Mysterio could have shot him in the dark; but he is unable to get his Glock 19 off before Gimli relieves him of his head, on the way to catch Beast with a gut shot as he attempts to attack from the top of the trees.  Faramir attempts to take flight with the aid of his new Blue Lantern Ring; but he is unable to keep up with Archangel, who slices through both the blue lantern aura and the midsection of Faramir with his wings, sending the son of Gondor falling to the ground in a pair of pieces.  

Okay....  So, I realize that a Watcher is not supposed to be biased; and I am not.  Just attempting an explanation before the fates decide what I witness.  Don't get me wrong.  The Centurions bop HARD.  I mean.  They straight bussin.  On Jah.  No Keezy.  Respectfully.  But the best thing about them is their use in the proper settings to which they all have specific functions.  None of them specialize in the forest.  Pretty much everything but; if Ima be real.  So, as they clunk around in their heavily armored, very advanced, mech weaponry they are having some issues even getting through Sherwood Forest.  Which is why they get spooked quick by the Elven magic of Elrond and Arwen and fall even quicker to their well placed sword blows from the stealthy, Elven foes whom they never even saw.

  

Kane of Runefast is engaged in a pitched battle of swordsmanship with Eomer, when the wielder of the Sword of Darkness gains the upper hand and dispatches the son of Eoman with a stunning attack.  Eomer is quickly avenged afterwards by his sister Eowyn who takes out Kane with a flurry of sword swings.  Although, Kane uses the Sword of Darkness and with his dying breath, has the sword cast Desoul on Eowyn, causing her to join him in death.

Cyclops blasts a hole through the second Blue Wizard; but the first Blue Wizard casts an attack spell that shatters Cyclops' goggles causing his power to go out of control.  The remaining Blue Wizard then dodges the aimless attacks and kills Cyclops with his sword.  Gandalf then engages the Blue Wizard with magic aided staff and the might of Glamdring and defeats him, sending his fellow wizard to the graveyard.  

Zufa Cenva, in her element in the deep forested woods, surprise attacks Dr. Doom from behind a large tree and hits him with some serious sorcery, complete with some well-aimed kicks and such.  Uncle Iroh then fire bends through her shield of sorcery and burns her to crisp, whilst simultaneously using his power ring to boost the attack of Alucard.  Norma Cenva wasn't always a big fan of her mom Zufa; but it doesn't mean she likes seeing her burnt alive either.  With all of the blue lantern rings on The Striders Squad, Norma's green lantern ring is brimming with power which she uses to vaporize Iroh.  Alucard, now even stronger than normal rushes at Norma with such speed that he cannot even be seen by the untrained eye; but Norma simply folds the space around Alucard sending him away to who knows where.  

Ice Man is wondering the forest alone when he comes by Treebeard, who is deep in thought.  Ice Man helps make up the mind of the large Ent, as he pisses him off with a blast of frozen water, before getting stomped to death by Middle Earth's oldest inhabitant.  

Gandalf and Archangel regroup with each other in a lightly wooded area and decide to make a final push against the Striders.   The Striders have met back up with Treebeard, who is now ready to fight and surround him, waiting for the imminent attack.  Gandalf rushes in with a blinding white light accompanying him, distracting them from his teammate Archangel who swoops in from above.  Gandalf's magic blasts through the protective spell of Arwen as easily as it does her; while Archangel hits ground, metal wings first pinning Gimli to the forest floor.  Archangel, then pulls his wings from the dirt and bloodied Dwarf before spinning them violently and removing the head of Elrond before Norma Cenva moves with blinding speed towards the mutant, ripping him apart with her own mental energy and added green lantern power.  Gandalf sees this awesome display of power from the first Guild Navigator Norma and essentially drains himself of power like he has not done since he defeated the Balrog as Gandalf the Grey.  He wipes Norma from this plane of existence; but as he awakens from his brief power coma is witness to his own demise from the giant body of Treebeard, who once again rids the forest of the destructive White Wizard.  

Week 7 Democracy: Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time

 Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are: Galadriel, Aragorn son of Arathorn (w/ green lantern ring), The Cloverfield Monster, Blue Marvel (-4), The Fantastic Four:  Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Girl, The Thing, & HERBIE, Old Peter Parker, Spider Noir, Penny Parker, & Spider Gwen, Magnum P.I., Higgins, Rick & TC in a Jeep Wrangler.

Be Gentle It's My First Time is:  Spider Miles, Orion, Superboy, The Docter, Kratos (-4), Perpetua, Eclipso, 3 Elves (-4), 9 Velociraptor, Ancalog the Black, 3 Warg Riders on 3 Wargs, 5 Fell Beasts (-4).   

Week 6 Dinomites vs Striders

 

Dinomites are: Nightwing, Kingdom Come Red Robin, Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl, Agent Smith, Hermoine Granger, The Incredible Hulk (4 Death), Dr Strange and Wong, Mr. Mackey, Chirrut and Baze in 4 Wheelers, Kingdom Come Flash w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Link w/ Master Sword, Hylian Sheild, and a Green Lantern Ring, Kingdom Coke Dr. Fate, and Slim Shady

Striders are: Human Torch ( 4 death), Mon El , Sinestro w/ a White Lantern Ring , Robert Downey Jr. (4 death), Elon Musk , Pre-Suit Vader w/ a Red Lantern Ring , Ragnarok , Knull , Mongo, Zufa Cenva, Norma Cenva w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Kingdom Come Batman, Kingdom Come Steel, Kingdom Come Green Lantern, Kingdom Come Knightstar, Kingdom Come Kid Flash, Kingdom Come Green Arrow, Metal Bender #1-2

We did this as a consortium because I'm lame. Roast me hardcore in the comments please. 

In a close vote of 3-2, the winner is...

Week 6: Crack Danks vs Empire of Evil Midgets

Empire- Supergirl, Polaris, Capt. Marvel, Blink, The Ancient One, Azula w/ Fire Flower, Mystique, Abeloth, Killer Frost, Black Canary, Athena, Wendy the Good Witch, Argent, Starfire, Lara Croft, Princess Leia, Iris West

Crack Danks- Taka (Sasuke, Jugo, Suigetsu, Karin), Juggernaut w/ Red Lantern Ring, Nathan Algren, Batwing, Arkham Knight, The Joker, Harley Quinn*, Chuck Norris w/ Green Lantern Ring, Venom*, Qui-Gon Jinn, Prometheus, Witch King of Angmar, Beast Boy, Death Stroke*

As the blood moon rose above Bludhaven the teams began their fight. The Empire fielded an all woman squad, which was worth 97 percent of an all man squad if you listen to the liberal media.

Juggernaut was barreling through buildings trying to force anyone and everyone out. Azula, Lara Croft, Princess Leia and Iris West pulled up in the all white Jeep Wrangler and took him on a chase where even more of the city was destroyed. Every time Azula would run some civilian over she would say something to the affect of “Oh my god, I’m so quirky” or “I’m such a gemini.” The whole way they were turning around shooting at him, but he absorbed most of the hits with ease and became angrier. Eventually he caught up with them and sent the Jeep rolling, where everyone inside was living, laughing, and loving, until it smashed into a telephone pole at 50. From above Captain Marvel came down and punched Juggernaut, who took it like a champ. Once he got her near the ground, the road crumbled and Jugo’s hand extended and dragged her down into the sewers where the rest of Taka was waiting.

Captain Marvel reacted quickly and did a sweet kick onto Karin who was sent into the wall before sliding down. Suigetsu, who was dissatisfied for having to be in the sewer water, moved towards her and surrounded her in the poop water, she will definitely have pink eye back in the locker room. Captain Marvel punched her way out of the enclosure but Sasuke caught her with the sword and cut off her head. Back up top Supergirl and Polaris had arrived to take out Juggernaut once and for all. Supergirl began absolutely mixing up Juggernaut, and whenever he would get pushed away Polaris would pull him straight back in. The only thing keeping him alive was the ring and that wouldn’t last long if this kept up. Juggernaut was getting really sick of the loop he was trapped in, so when he was thrown into a building he pushed off as Polaris pulled him, sending him at like mach 3 straight into her. Juggernaut was by now, sufficiently gassed though and Supergirl finished him off.

Venom, Qui-Gon Jinn, Nathan Algren, Joker, and Harley Quinn were coming to help Juggernaut, but were cut off by The Ancient One, Mystique, and Starfire. Mystique made quick work of Nathan, but Harley smacked her on the head with her big hamma. Joker was throwing traps and gags out all over the place and they began to explode as he laughed manically. He hit Venom with some friendly fire though and as he was burning, the Ancient One observed his distress and increased the power of the flames. Starfire was reigning hell on Qui-Gon as he remained in cover. Deathstroke had heard the battle and come to help. He back flipped off a building and shot Starfire in the head. The Ancient One wasn’t going to go out without a fight and killed Joker and Qui-Gon as revenge. Just as Deathstroke was about to kill her, Blink made her a portal to escape.

Jugo and Sasuke leapt out of the sewer and told Suigetsu to wait for the signal. Right when the got onto the road, Killer Frost and Black Canary pulled up in the Dry Bones Cart. Killer Frost tried to freeze Sasuke, but Jugo’s arm extended and froze. Black Canary cried out, shattering Jugo’s flesh and sending both Sasuke and Jugo flying. Suigetsu jumped the gun and sprung from the sewers early, so it was no surprise when he was frozen and killed. Chuck Norris arrived to help his friends and round house kicked Black Canary before she could open her mouth again, snapping her neck. He then threw the Cart at Killer Frost and crushed her.

Wendy the Good Witch on a Harley Davidson was easily the most badass thing I seen all night. As she was driving, the Witch King was chasing her down and the two were in a heated magic battle. Beast Boy jumped out in front of her as a rhino and she turned him into a frog and he made a vivid gushing sound when she ran him over. The Witch King used this time and shot out her wheel sending her over the handle bars of the bike into his grip where he squeezed her little neck. Athena watched on in horror as her allies neck was snapped and rushed forward and began a sword battle with the Witch King. Since no man could kill him, and Athena was a woman (and a skilled one at that), she was able to defeat him much like in the movie. 

Athena and Prometheus knew each other well which made them both reluctant to fight. Prometheus had already seen how this was to end though and began the fight to get it over with. Batwing and Arkham Knight were there to reinforce Prometheus, while Argent and Abeloth were coming to support Athena, but both sides respected the fight. Batwing and the Arkham Knight did their best to mitigate Argent’s attacks and together they were able to mix her up. Unfortunately they didn’t have any answers to Abeloth, who was able to kill them easily with her knowledge and power. The goddess and the titan were well matched, but through the power of foresight, Prometheus took advantage of every mistake. Eventually he struck her down and felt some grief about it for a moment, before Abeloth finished him off.

Chuck, Sasuke, Jugo, and Harley met Abeloth, Supergirl, Blink, and the Ancient One for a final confrontation. Sasuke was moving just as fast as Blink could teleport and eventually he caught her coming out of one her portals, cutting off any hope of a retreat for the Empire. Supergirl and Chuck Norris were trading blows and the Texas Ranger was holding his own. Supergirl stepped it up a notch though and Chuck was on the back foot. As she broke his protective barrier she fried him with heat vision while he tried to recover. Deathstroke had come prepared and he lined up his shot, hitting Supergirl in the head with a kryptonite bullet. This gave away his position though and the Ancient One trapped him in another dimension. They spoke for a moment and sensing a chance he pulled his sidearm shooting what he thought was his enemy and only glass shattered. He attempted to escape but was cut off in every direction. The Ancient One pierced him in every direction with spears and left him. Abeloth had made a move at Sasuke and when Jugo tried to save him, she cut right through his flesh with her lightsaber killing Sasuke. Harley and Jugo were unable to get close enough to Abeloth or the Ancient One to do any real damage which enraged both of them. As they began fighting harder, they were also becoming even more sloppy and it wasn’t long until both of them made a fatal mistake.

The Revolt Against Old Man Dumbledore

 Week 6 @ Bludhaven: House Elves vs. Midgets

House Elves: Gandalf the Grey, Iron Man (4 death), Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, Cicada, Red She Hulk, Firelord Sozin, Ginny Weasely, (4 death), Haggred, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), The Wampa

Midgets: Magneto (4 death), Batgirl w/ 2 white light sabers (4 death), The Huntress w/ Purple Light saber, White Lantern Kenobi, Capt. America, Dumbledore, Serci, Vampire Wolverine, X-23, Gabby Kinney, Orange Lantern Lex Luthor, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer, Mighty Mousette (final death), Hermes, Earth Benders 3-6

This story takes place after the events of them Harry Potter books that Floyd Mayweather can't read.  Dumbledore has fallen down a rat hole and now runs a drug ring in the slums of Bludhaven and the only chance to stop him are Harry Potter and the fellow house elves.

The House Elves begin to explore the ruins of Bludhaven together.  Harry Potter and his side piece Ginny were together asking questions that could lead them to Dumbledore.  While the rest of the team is split up.  Little did they know that they are being watched.  

In the shadows is Gabby Kinney watching all of their moves along side Hermes who is relaying the messages back to their HQ.  Dumbledore alarmed by the presence of Harry sends out some troops to try and take them out.  The Huntress, Batgirl, and Kenobi all team together as Kenobi has taken the two under his wing teaching them to use a light saber in case someone doesn't want to pay for their drugs.  Little did they know they wouldn't be running into Harry and Ginny.

As they are moving quick to take position they see someone else.  Not just someone but also something.  It's Luke Skywalker and Cassandra Cain riding atop The Wampa.  Kenobi stunned that his old student is also here.  He feels like it can't be true.  He understands that he must defeat his former student in order to protect this operation.  He feels no one else has the power to stop Luke, not even Dumbledore.  

Batgirl and The Huntress take the offense and go to attack.  Kenobi dumbfounded didn't understand what they were doing and had to quickly follow them before they meet their death.  Luke quickly takes a hand from The Huntress.  Luke laughs and says "You now have my disability and you're a woman.  You stand no chance"

Before Luke can execute her he is stopped by Kenobi's light saber.  Although it was to late and The huntress is crushed by The Wampa.  The wampa then begins to go on a Godzilla style rampage on bludhaven.  

Kenobi then cuts the Wampa down with his lightsaber and then puts an all out attack into Luke.  Luke was confused on the strength of the Old Kenobi.  He finally noticed he holds the power of a white latern ring but it was too late and Luke was slaughtered by his master.

All while this is happening Iron Man, She Hulk and Siruis Black are met by Magneto and Wolverine.  Magneto quickly tries to take the offense and attacks Iron Man.  Magneto be dumb as hell tho because Iron Man suit isn't made of any magnetic materials but from a gold titanium alloy.  Iron man quickly slaughters the dumbass magneto (I hate this character).  

Iron man is quickly jumped by Wolverine but is saved by Sirius black pulling out dat wizard shits and casting a spell.  But Wolverine didn't just dodge the spell but jumped to attack the she hulk and tears her apart.  Iron Man then blasts him and his dead comrade away leaving nothing but the dust of wolverine and she hulk.

Now back to the other fight.  We got Bat on Bat action.  The two versions of Batgirl be throwin haymakers back and forth but the OG came out on top with her two light sabers and cut the head off of the Cassandra Cain batgirl.  She then kept the head on her light saber and called it Hat for Bat. 

Everyone has now caught up to each other besides Dumbledore who is watching from a distance.  Chaos then ensues.  We got spells and shits flying everywhere.  But Ray Palmer and Lex Luthor with the power of their lantern rings are able to dodge and defend most of the attacks.  They quickly take out Fire Lord Sozin who just kept setting stuff on fire and Malfoy's useless ass.  

All the sudden there was a shift in the fight

Gandalf being the most badass kind of wizard there is starts to merc some lantern ring ass. 

All that was left on the side of dumbledore because of the spells flying everywhere was Kenobi, Batgirl, Capt. America, and X- 23 

Iron Man and Capt. America have another hand to hand combat fight but they were both so powerful they killed each other at the same time with a final blow to the head. 

Hagred was used as bait by Sirius Black and was able to take out X-23.  Kenobi and Batgirl run to the offense and slayed Hagred and Sirius Black.  

This left Ginney, Harry, and Gandalf to beat Kenobi and Batgirl.  But the badass wizard shit was enough to take out batgirl who couldn't use the force to defend herself.  While using the force to defend himself Kenobi is able to kill Ginney.  This was a bad idea Harry Pooner got enraged and killed Kenobi.  (Yeah I let Harry Potter kill Kenobi. Deal with it).

Leaving the best wizarding duo the universe has ever seen to take out Dumbledore.  Being cooler and just overall more badass they are able to take down the dirty old Wizard and his drug ring.  

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. The Famous Red Garter Guardians of the Galaxy

 Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are Galvatron, Booster Gold, Lex Luthor, Skeletor, Darth Nihilus, Black Goku, Lady Dimetrescu, Robin in the Modern Age Batmobile, Recoome, Burtur, Jeice, Guldo, & Capt. Ginyu, The Vampire Lestat, Nick Fury (w/ a red lantern ring), The Beast & Belle in the Pimpmobile, Uhura, Data, Scotty, Odo, & Nog in Cannon-Man's Tank-icopter, Zombie Red Lantern, Vampire Red Lantern, & Black Lantern Red Lantern.

The Famous Red Garter Guardians are:  The Guardians of the Galaxy:  Star Lord in a TIE Interceptor, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket in a TIE Interceptor, & Groot, The Stunticons:  Motor Master, Wildrider, Dead End, Drag Strip, & Breakdown, The Q Continuum:  Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, & Quinn, Firelord Ozai, Fire Bros. #6, & Mr Poopy Butthole.

Phew....  I got lucky on this one.  I mean, let's face it we have all run out of ways to write The Q Continuum; but this time they are going up against some other Star Trek characters that have dealt with them before.  This should be quick and painless.  Basically, Data got the mad think skills and can run with the Q Continuum pretty solid, plus Scotty's tech skills is mad sick.  So, with Uhura flying the Tank-icopter they perfectly rig up a power beam to blast at them that can take out their omnipotent forms.  This was of course a suicide mission as it would simply be terrible if a Watcher of my caliber did not hand out some sort of point based retribution for the huge amount of talent lost to the guardians in this opening match sequence.  So, not only do the Star Trek dorks die in this massive cosmic blast that has made the already jacked up Bludhaven look like Detroit; but also destroyed in the explosion was........  Well, let's see here, who else don't I feel like writing today....??.....  Let's go with ............  Lex Luthor, Zombie Red Lantern, and Nick Fury, even though I will give Old Man Parks some mad props for assigning a red lantern ring to someone based solely on nomenclature.  

The Guardians of the Red Garter Galaxy know that they just lost some serious fire power; so Starlord takes charge and comes over the team com from his TIE Interceptor saying:  "Alright turds, it's time to win one for the Quiller.  Now Stunticons, MERGE TO FORM MENASOR"!!

But Menasor responds:  "Uhhhhhh..  We already did that boss".

"They already did that Quill, pay attention you idiot".  Rocket yells over the com.

Gamora sighs saying:  "PETER they already merged.  That was basically the first thing they did when the match started.  They already broke a bunch of buildings and stuff".

"I cannot believe anyone still did not know that the Stunticons had merged to form Menasor.  It was a very eventful moment".  Says Drax dryly.

"I am Groot".

The Stunticons and The Ginyu Force are in a pitched battle (shout out Becks); but even though they do be boxin (shout out Phrunk); we'll come back to that later.

Galvatron has managed to blast Rocket out of the sky; while Robin with the top mounted cannon on the Batmobile has done the same to Starlord; but both Guardians have ejected and used their jetpacks to make it back down to the city where the battle is really heating up.  

Mr. Poopy Butthole hitched a ride with The Beast and Belle in their classic, cherry 1989 Chevy Cavalier with almost no rust and perfectly good brakes, but he got poop all over the Beast causing a grotesque infection; so Belle tried to eat the poop out of his fur to show her love; but it was hella gross and then they all died of dysentary.

Ozai bends some serious fire at Booster Gold turning him into Booster Brown (probably could have used that joke with Mr. Poopy Butthole too, but he is already dead).  Lestat and Lady Dimetrescu and Lestat are now the hottest couple in the hip world of vampires.  They are kind of a strange looking pair because of the height difference; but honestly not much worse than when Tom Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman.  Ozai continues his crazed fire bending and is putting up a great fight against both of them, especially with his ride or die Homie Fire Bros. #6 backing him up.  Ozai sends out a huge burst and burns Lestat to a crisp, infuriating Dimetrescu, who takes off her 38ZZZ sized bra and strangles Ozai with it.  Fire Bros. #6, focuses the rest at the one who just killed his beloved Firelord and takes out the large beauty but can not sustain the power and burns up with her.  

Black Goku didn't make it to the fight as he was pulled over by police on the way there.  After it was discovered there was an issue with his license plate.  He tried to explain that his life mattered and that he was no different than regular Goku; but the police were not having it and continued the search.  Black Goku then reportedly was reaching for the Officer's taser when he was gunned down.  

The Guardians of the Galaxy regroup and combine their powers to defeat the Vampire and Black Lantern Red Lanterns; but are soon met by Galvatron, Skeletor, Darth Nihilus, & Robin.  Drax and Groot are able to team up and overpower Skeletor with brute force; but Drax does not survive the encounter after he is sliced in two by the dark half of the Power Sword.  Gamora is able to outmaneuver Lord Nihilus and narrowly escape his insta-kill.  She catches him with a laser blast/sword combo to the back of the neck to take him out; but Robin comes from behind with a similar move and finishes off the daughter of Thanos with his birdarangs.  Robin is then attacked by the infuriated Star Lord; but his moves fall short of the Batman sidekick as well.  Rocket and Groot attempt to formulate a plan to end this before they lose more people; but once Galvatron turns into his cannon form it is too late for the duo.  They are vaporized by the energon cannon of the Decepticon Leader.

This brings us to the pitched battle we left earlier.  The Ginyu Force has suffered casualties; but have managed to break apart the massive Gestalt known as Menasor.  Only Capt. Ginyu, Recoome, and Guldo survived the battle; but once the heavily damaged Stunticons were broke back apart the three remaining Ginyu Force Members were able to defeat them.  

Week 6 Consortium: Popeyes vs Gentle

Popeyes: Kid Flash, Mr. Mxyztplk, Steppenwolf, Fastback, Dr. Light, Cheetah, Penguin, Forest Gump w/Green Lantern Ring, The Centurions (Ace McCloud, Jake Rockwell, Max Ray, John Thunder, Rex Charger), Original Nite Owl, Moloch, Mothman, Hooded Justice, and Red Team (Sarge, Simmons, Frif, Donut, Lopez)

Gentle: Zilla, Gamera, Surtur, The Punisher w/ Vibranium Suit (last life), Hero of Typhon, Ancalaug The Black, Darth Sion w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Atreus and Kratos, Ares, and 6 Elves

Week 6 Democracy: TEAM vs Ahsoka’s Acrobatic Assassins

AAA is Dick Grayson (Batman) w/ Green Lantern Ring, Damien Wayne, Earth 2 Batman, Earth 2 Catwoman, Batzarro, Kingdom Come Superman (last life), John Stewart w/ Green and Blue Lantern Rings (last life), Indigo 1 and Monk, Salam, Rams Al’ Ghul, DC Thor, Etruscan The Demon, Kyle Houslander Young Jedi Knight (last life) Zach Houslander Younger Jedi Knight, Dunadan Ranger Kyle Houslander, Stan Lee, and Orcs #30-34 (all last life) 

Team is White Lantern Kyle Raynor (last life), Red Sun Superman, Superboy Prime, Nekron, Zombie Cyborg Superman, Omega Supreme, Hutch Mansell, Duke Leto Atreites, Seraph, Captain Nintendo, Kid Icarus, Duke, Simon Belmont, Mega Man, Rush, The Princess of Video Games, and Game Boy

Week 5: Empire vs Red Garter Guardians

Empire- Polaris, Supergirl, Scarlet Witch, Capt. Marvel, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Black Flash, Ocean Master, Aqualad, Dark Supergirl, The Ancient One, Abeloth, Dracula, John Constantine, Prof. Minerva McGonagall, The Grand Inquisitor, Adam Strange, The Leprechaun, Chucky, Bride of Chucky, & Leatherface

Red Garter Guardians- The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, Lady Q, Colonel Q, q, & Quinn, The Guardians of the Galaxy: Starlord, Rocket, Groot, Drax the Destroyer, and Gamora in a CEC YT-2400, The Stunticons: Motor Master, Breakdown, Wildrider, Drag Strip, & Dead End, George the Albino Ape, Lizzie the Lizard, Ralph the Wolf, Raiden, Daenerys Targaryen & her Dragon, Storm Trooper #1-43, Kyle Brovloski, Eric Cartmen, Kenny McCormick, & Stan Marsh (SP kids all have Glocks), Dinobot, 4-Lom in a TIE Bomber, Zuckuss in a TIE Bomber, Snow Trooper #1-8, & Kyle & Conner in The Gekko Mobile

Welcome to the midseason Playoff Planet match. The budget this season appears to have been directed elsewhere, so unfortunately we were left with Qatar and the Chinese to assemble the arenas this time and the slave labor they were using was behind schedule. This led to the most of the battlefields not being finished and polished in time for the battle. 

The couldn’t get enough water to finish filling all the oceans in time so they decided to slap a beach together and since there were so few water characters played, it kind of worked out. 

The Empire had Ocean Master, Aqualad, and Adam Strange, while the Guardians sent the Rampage Monsters and the Guardians of the Galaxy. Aqualad pulled the Rampage Monsters out into the water and began drowning them. The Guardians had Adam Strange flying around and were trying to shot him out of the sky. Lizzie slurped up Ocean Master, who exited her stomach through the side, Aqualad shocked the hell out George, frying the big monke, and Ralph escaped the water and ran away. The Guardians managed to hit Adam with the laser cannons and he fell back to the ground. 4-Lom and Zuckuss flew a bombing run on the beach and blew Adam to smithereens before flying off. Knowing there was little they could do against Ocean Master and Aqualad here near the water, the Guardians of the Galaxy followed them out. 

The Arctic was blistering that day. The AC was cranked and the snow machines were on full blast, making blizzard like conditions. 

The Guardians sent Dinobot, the South Park Gang and Snowtroopers in to get a foothold. Dracula, Prof. McGonagall and the Ancient One were sent to dispatch them. The Planet was put together so hastily though, that this area was actually right next to the beach. Empire was approaching the entrenched position when they began receiving fire. Dracula was killed in the opening volley. The Ancient One pushed into the encampment and started pushing down the trenches, killing the Snow Troopers in her way. Dinobot jumped into the fight, blocking her path. Flying over the battle was Zuckuss, 4-Lom, and the Guardians of the Galaxy. McGonagall damaged 4-Lom’s TIE Bomber and it crashed into the Zuckuss, sending both ships to the ground. Both were killed on impact and their ships landed right on the Ancient One and the South Park kids shot her body 37 times just to be sure she was dead. 

The Prof received backed up by Ocean Master and Aqualad. Dinobot and the South Park kids stood against them with air support from the Guardians. Dinobot led a charge with the kids providing him suppressing fire. The Guardians hit Ocean Master with their laser cannons and then there was nothing left. Aqualad hit the ship with a water lightning special disabling its weapons and engine and the ship began gliding to the surface. McGonagall killed Kenny accidentally, I mean she literally wasn’t even aiming for him but he still died. Kyle and Stan said the line and they shredded her. Aqualad and Dinobot were in the heat of battle where they both delivered killing blows to each other simultaneously, it was truly glorious.  Ralph picked up the kids and took them into the city.

The forest had solid ground, but the trees were sparse and they were those weak zoomer trees that are all the rage these days.

Polaris did that thing that people who control magnetic fields do to transformers and crushed the Stunticons into each other. It was easy for the Q’s to take out the slower members of The Empire before anyone else could make a move, this left Black Widow, The Grand Inquisitor, and Polaris dead. Kyle and Conner put the Geckko Mobile into overdrive and ran over Captain Marvel. Then together, and it was like super, super, sexual, they shifted it into reverse and backed over her again, and they repeated this process for the rest of the battle, it was pretty hot. Spiderman was swinging and swangin, but as he was doing this he was taking with him tree branches, so he began throwing them at the Qs. Q and Q2 were fighting Supergirl and Dark Supergirl, though it seemed that neither side was gaining anything on the other. Scarlet Witch was having none of this Q nonsense, she trapped Quinn and Lady Q in some other dimension and then collapsed it on them. Quinn was able to jump out in time. Colonel Q removed the tree Spiderman was swinging on and he went crashing down and was impaled on a tree. 

The fact Quinn escaped Scarlet Witch really offended her, like where does he get off wanting to live. She became hyper focused on him and disconnected him from the Continuum. This left Quinn powerless as he was fleeing. Little q hit Scarlet Witch from the side saving Quinn for the moment. Black Flash was mixing up Colonel Q, but was surprised that his touch alone wasn’t killing him. Black Flash dug his claws into his Colonel Q physical form and took him into the speed force and they were both lost to time in a never ending battle. Q and Q2 hatched a plan to kill the two supergirls, but it was dangerous. Q fell down like he was out of gas and both Supergirls lined up to hit him with the laser beams. At the last second Q2 pushed Q out of the way and along with himself, the Supergirls killed each other with friendly fire. Scarlet Witch picked up Kyle and Conner’s Gekko Mobile and through it at Quinn, crushing him. Q and q then went for the wombo combo on Scarlet Witch, who decided to die and take q with her.

The desert started as an island in the ocean, but Xi Jinping forget to tell his men to stop pouring sand and before they knew it they had built the desert.

Here is where Daenerys on her Dragon, Stormtroopers 1-43, and Raiden faced off against John Constantine, Chucky and his bride, the Leprechaun, Leatherface, and Abeloth. Chucky, his bride, and the Leprechaun ambushed a column Stormtroopers. There was blood everywhere as the little demons were jumping around slashing between their armor plates. Eventually 20 of the troopers laid injured or dead, while the battered remains of the dolls and the mush that was the little green man were found nearby. Leatherface and Raiden were sizing each other up. Leatherface was on the offensive, swinging and slashing that chainsaw through the air as Raiden dodged every attack. Then he shot lightning into his chainsaw, disabling it before driving his staff through his body. Constantine finished off the rest of the Stormtroopers with ease. Daenerys flew by on her Dragon and tried to fry him, but he protected himself. Abeloth easily dispatched Raiden and turned her sight to the Dragon. Just like my hopes for Season 8, my hopes for Daenerys were too high and Abeloth and Constantine made easy work of both her and her dragon.

Moving to the city, it was time for the final showdown. The city appeared complete, but upon further inspection all of the buildings were empty and made out of styrofoam with concrete plastered on. It appears that Chinese contractors were used, so it wouldn’t be long before they started falling down. 

The CEC YT-2400 had crashed into the city and fire started to spread. The Guardians emerged from the wreckage and met up with Ralph, Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Q. All that stood for Empire was Constantine and Abeloth, luckily they had been preparing. Constantine made the fire in the city swell bigger and bigger until it felt like everyone was standing in Hell. Ralph couldn’t take the heat and was engulfed in the flames. Abeloth jumped the Guardians and killed everyone except for Rocket, who was small enough to escape into the wreckage with ease. Constantine had been making projections of himself to throw off the other team, while he was really preparing a spell to kill Q. Rocket got revenge for his team when he rigged what was left of the ship they crashed to explode by overloading the engines, killing Abeloth and himself. Q found Constantine preparing his spell and began to speak with him, confident that he could win the fight. Knowing luck was with him, Constantine sprang his other trap that Q happened to be standing on. Holding Q in place, he finished his other spell and banished Q to some other dimension. But Cartman,, Stan and Kyle had been sneaking around while all this was going on. They all opened fire on Constantine at once from different directions and there was no way he could block everything all at once.

Week 5: House Elves VS. Turrible Decisions

 George Washington’s House Elves: Dr. Octopus, Musterio, Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, Vulture, Gandlaf the Grey, Iron Man, Harry Potter, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker, Cicada, Red She Hulk, Firelord Sozin, Ron Weasely, Shredder, Sand Worm #6-10, Nazgul #3 on Mordor Horse, Omnius, Ajax, Ginny Weasely, Hagrid, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog & Zangief

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Wither, Omniman, Battle Beast, Recoome, Burter, Jeice, Guldo, Captain Ginyu, Deadpool, Lady Demetrescu, Guy Gardner, The Anti-Monitor, Usagi Yojimbo w/ Green Lightsaber, Ganthet, Says, Ant Man, Wasp, Agatha Harkness, Tom Bombadil, Ki Adi Mundi, Space Ghost, Galvatron, Black Goku, Robo-Barkley, Yellow Lantern Scarecrow, Darth Nihilus, Sergeant Slaughter, Red Dog, Taurus, Mercer, Booster Gold, & Hanukkah Harry in Kobe’s Private Helicopter.

In the Forest

House Elves: Gandalf the Grey, Harry Potter, Ron Weasely, Ginny Weasely, Hagrid, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog, & Zangief 

Turrible Decisions: The Wither, Usagi Yojimbo w/ Green Lightsaber, Agatha Harkness, Tom Bombadil, Sergeant Slaughter, Red Dog, Taurus, Mercer, & Hanukkah Harry in Kobe’s Private Helicopter

This battle on the Playoff Planet will first start in the Forest where the House Elves have already set up a defensive position in the forest while Barkley’s will be the offensive in this area of the planet.

Barkley’s Terrible Decisions are entering the forest on foot while Hannukah Harry is in Kobe’s Private Helo up above when all of a sudden the Helo starts malfunctioning and takes a nose dive towards the ground crashing causing a huge explosion also killing some of his own teammates in the Wither, Red Dog, & Taurus.

The House Elves see the explosion and decide to go investigate it. Eventually the House Elves and Turrible Decisions run into each other and go into full on battle. Sergeant Slaughter, Mercer and Usage team up while Tom Bombadil is in the corner dancing and singing. Usagi uses his exceptional skills with a blade to make quick work of the Weasley Siblings and the Street Fighter Characters.. Usagi then goes to put in work against the Father and Son duo of Lucius and Draco Malfoy. Hagrid and Harry Potter team up to take on Sergeant Slaughter and Mercer. The GI Joe characters stood no chance against the wizards and were struck down with quite ease. Usagi then strikes Draco through his chest, killing him easily. Lucius retaliates to avenge his fallen son with the Avada Kedavra Curse, killing the Rabbit Ronin instantaneously.

The House Elves surround Agatha Harkness and thus there was a huge wizardy battle where in the end Gandalf and Harry Potter were left standing.

All that’s left of the Turrible Decisions is Tom Bombadil who is still singing and dancing. Gandalf goes up to Tom to try and strike a deal as Tom is a friend of Gandlaf’s respects his power. After a long winded talk between Gandalf and Tom, Tom snaps his fingers and disappears but also brings Harry Potter with him, thus removing them from this battle. This move leaves Gandalf the Grey alone in the Forest. He will meet up with the rest of the House Elves in the City.

In the Desert

House Elves: Sandman, Firelord Sozin, Sandworm #6-10, Omnius

Turrible Decisions: Recoome, Burter, Jerce, Guido, Captain Ginyu, Galvatron, and Black Goku

The two teams have met each other in the desert. 

The Ginyu Force begins to put in work into the Artificial Intelligent entity Omnius, while Firelord Sozin and Black Goku fight, and Sandman and the Sandworms fight Galvatron. 

Galvatron has trouble fighting against the two sand dominant forces of Sandman and the Sand Worms. Galvatron keeps shooting blasts from his gauntlet into Sandman but they either keep missing or don’t do enough damage to affect Sandman. After a while of this, two Sand Worms come up from the ground and swallow Galvatron from the bottom but the swallowing of all this metal does kill the two sand worms.

The Ginyu Force prove to be too powerful for the Omnius Artificial Intelligence entity and blow up its mortal form. The two other Sand Worms retaliate by swallowing up the Ginyu Force. All that’s left of the Turrible Decisions is Black Goku, but he is not going to go down easy. He is proving to be an overmatch for Firelord Sozin but the powerful emperor is able to stay alive long enough for the rest of his team to come help him out. The two remaining Sand Worms go to swallow Black Golu, but Black Goku is too strong and destroys the Sand Worms with ease. Sandman then goes and creates a tornado of sand around Goku causing him to not be able to do anything. Sandman and Black Goku realize the only way they might be able to take out Goku is by Firelord Sozin to surround the Sand Tornado with Fire cutting off all oxygen to Goku. The House Elves do this and are able to successfully kill Black Goku, but this also kills Sandman as well.

Firelord Sozin will team up with the rest of his teammates in the city. 

In the City

House Elves: Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, Vulture, Gandalf the Grey, Iron Man, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker, Cicada, Red She Hulk, Firelord Sozin, Shredder, Nazgul #3 on his Mordor Horse, & Ajax

Turrible Decisions: Omniman Battle Beast, Deadpool, Lady Demetrescu, Guy Gardner, The Anti-Monitor, Ganthet, Says, Antman, Wasp, Ki Adi Mundi, Space Ghost, Robo Barkley, Yellow Lantern Scarecrow, Darth Nihilus and Booster Gold

Sorry guys, I fell asleep watching this match in the city and missed a lot of it. From what I see now, it is just Gandalf the Grey left for the House Elves and Omni-Man and Booster Gold is left for the Turrible Decisions. Omni-Man and Booster Gold go in and put in work against the Wizard from Middle Earth. Gandalf is blocking blows left and right from the two super powered beings. After a while Gandalf is definitely gassed so he calls to wield the Flame of Anor and his sword becomes blazen in flame. This gives him rejuvenated energy and begins to put an offensive against the Turrible Decisions. Gandlaf is throwing multiple combos using his staff and sword. Omni-Man and Booster Gold are struggling to put any sort of offensive against the Wizard and eventually Gandlaf is able to cut the head off of Omni-Man. Unfortunately Booster Gold is able to immediately retaliate with an energy projection blast through the chest of Gandlaf. 

Week 5 Consortium: Misunderstood Little People vs Crack Danks

Midgets: Vampire Wolverine, Magneto, Vampire Sinestro, X-23, Tyrion Lannister (w/ Dwarf Ring), Gabby Kinney, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Vlad the Impaler, Mandalore the Great, Quicksilver, Lando Calrissean, Lobot, Nien Numb, Big Benito, James Madison, Zack, and Spence in Bico's Y-1300 Light Freighter, Orange Lantern Lex Luthor, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer (Atom), Super Duper Man, Super Mouse, Even Piel in a Jedi V-Wing, Mimic, Captain America, Mighty Mouse, Sarumon, Dumbledore, Harambe (w/ big bottle rocket)., Depa Billaba & R.O.B. the Robot in a Naboo Starfighter, Jared Nomack, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, and Fire Bender #5.

Crack Danks: Godzilla w/ Red Lantern Ring, The Eradicator, Juggernaut, Zeus, Toph Beifong, Grey Worm w/ Indigo Lantern Ring (-4), Chuck Norris, Mace Windu w/blue lantern ring, Onslaught w/Star Sapphire Ring (-4), Ares, Prometheus, Sky Lynx, Colossus , Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michaelangelo (TMNT), Freddy Krueger, Falcon Coon and Friends, The Coon, Human Kite, Fast Pass, Mosquito, Super Craig, and captain diabetes, 3 Musketeers d’Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and Flying Monkeys 6-9

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. TEAM

 Be Gentle It's My Third Time is Darkseid, Zilla, Superboy, Gamera, Kratos, The Hero Of Typhon, Darth Gaen, Darth Vitate, Whis, Elaine Belloc, Kratos & Atreus, Evil Wolf #1-5, Dark Trooper #1-5, Beerus:  god of Destruction, Elf #1-8, & The Z-Fighters:  Krillin,Tien, Shinhan, Yamcha, Chiaotzu, Yajirobe, & Bulma.

TEAM is Galactus w/ Nova, Morg, Superboy, Unicron, Primus, Thor, Thanos (w/ The Power, Soul, Space, & Reality stones), Ultra Magnus, Black Lantern Magneto, Brightburn, Nekron, Bashar Miles Teg, Wolverine, Muhamed Ali, Hammer Bros. #6-9, Mandalorian Clan Leader Adam Hernandez w/ Mandalorian Kate, Mandalorian Foundling Jackson, & Mandalorian Eric Gilson, Josh (w/ a green lantern ring), Alex (w/ an air bending staff), Chris (w/ Loki's Sceptre), Kyle (w/ air bending staff), Zack (w/ air bending staff), Dave (w/ Wii mote), Frank (w/ red lantern ring), Ethan (w/ Force saber), Conner (w/ Speed Ring), Ed (w/ mandalorian armor), Laya (w/ blue lantern ring), & Spence.  

What a mess.....  I can't believe how torn apart everything seems when it comes to the members of TEAM.  And I am not referring to anything to do with what the members of Be Gentle are doing to them, nor do I mean the fact that they have several world destroyers on the squad which are just as big a danger to The Play-Off Planet itself as they are to their opponent.  I'm referring to the disaster caused by Hammer Bros. #6.  You see, ever since Hammer Bros. #6 broke up with his boyfriend Ed and started dating Conner instead the whole TEAM dynamic has been totally off.  TEAMmembers feeling like they must take a side in this love triangle are having difficulty focusing on the match itself because of the ever permeating gay-love drama.  Ed has been seen with his Mandalorian helmet off, chugging vodka and tonics murmuring "this is not the way" over and over again, while Conner and Hammer Bros. #6 go for long walks on The Play-Off Planet beach by the ocean shore, just like Ed used to back when that was his man.  Despite this unending romantic issue, we will do our best to move forward and witness how this match unfolds.

Both teams played a Superboy, so before we get this started we are just going to go ahead and cancel those two out.  Both Dead.  

Elaine Belloc really wanted some soup for lunch; but she is stilled banned from her favorite soup location by its Nazi owner, so instead she has just finished up her big salad and yada-yada-yada is ready for the match.  Elaine Belloc is the chick from Seinfeld right??  Crap.  Okay, well internet says that is actually Elaine Benes.  Hmm.  Must be a typo or something.  Either way, Elaine grabs her cell phone to call up Kramer, when Wolverine stabs her through the chest with his adamantium claws.  

So many heavy hitters are in this match, that we will lay out who is boxin with whom and where the boxin is going down.  Pitched battles abound as Darkseid and Thanos throw down in the desert.  The Z-Fighters make their way into space in an attempt to take out the not yet transformed Primus.  Thor has teamed up with Galactus' Herald Nova in the forest where Kratos, Atreus, & Beerus do be scufflin with em.  The other Kratos used Spence as weapon to take out HerMando family, who made quite a mess with their blasters and flame units before they went down in the valiant fight.  The eight elves thought they were fast; but Bashar Miles Teg showed them all what fast really was as he quickly discovered their hidden woodland locations and dispatched them with relative ease.  The Hero of Typhon gets rowdy with the lightsaber, whilst dodging hammers to take out Hammer Bros. 7, 8, & 9; but before he can take out Hammer Bros. #6, his former lover Ed flies in with his Mandalorian Jetpack and rescues the Hammer Bros. he just can't quit.  Perhaps he jumped into the arms of his younger man Conner with too much haste the Hammer Bros. thinks to himself as he is held so tightly by Ed and whisked away to safety.  Very few beings in this entire universe can be the first word in a sentence that ends:  "One-shotted Zilla"; but when that being is Galactus, the sentence do happen.  Gamera bit the head off of Morg in the jungle, while Nekron and Black Lantern Magneto were taken out by Darths Vitate and Gaen, right before the metal carcass of Ultra Magnus was dropped on them from above by the now double dead Magneto.  Brightburn is flying around being quite the immature jerk, when he sees Whis standing in a rock-outcropping questioning he/him's gender.  Brightburn takes a wiz on whis from above him and then uses his Superman powers to rip him apart without ever saying that he does indeed have Superman powers so the movie makers don't get sued.   With the help of Laya's blue ring, Josh used his katana blade made of green lantern energy to mow through the five Dark Troopers Luke-hallway-scene style (word).  Frank, Ethan, & Conner are suffering bad after their battle with the five evil wolves, not because they lost; but because they ate all five of the wolves after the fight, they do be livin that food life tho and might order a Big Benito later.  

Phew....  Well, that's how the first round of this turd played out.  Let's see what those who survived did next.  

Brightburn flies in fast to help out Thanos against Darkseid; but gets hit with omega beams before he can get a hit in.  The two mad titans battle it out fiercely; but even with the Infinity Gauntlet with only a few open spots left, Thanos is still unable to take out the DC character he is a direct copy of.  Darkseid is victorious; but even in his infinite wisdom does not realize that the soul stone would take his life along with the conquered Thanos.  

Muhammed Ali is on the mic holding a press conference ripping apart his TEAMmates Conner, Ed, and Hammer Bros. #6 with a hellacious supply of gay jokes.  This is of course not in any way considered intolerant of him at all, because he is Muslim.  Wise old Dave decided to console the young Ali by letting him play with his Wii Mote and getting him sandwich without pork in it.   

Beerus destroys Nova with a mix of martial arts and cosmic power.  

The god of thunder uses some thunder to destroy the god of destruction; but Beerus wasn't Thor's only problem to face.  Thor and Kratos start wailing on each other with building leveling punches, until Thor uses his hammer to knock the god's head clean off.  Thor spins around after his victory; but is quickly avenged by the son of his victim who puts his best arrow directly through the remaining good eye and out the back of the head of the son of Odin.  

Chris, Alex, Kyle, and Zack left the party as usual to go get some Taco Bell; but they were out of product so they decided to fight the other Kratos instead of listening to the Taco Chick scream about it.  They text Julie in the group chat before using their staffs to put that smack down.  Kratos do be legit, but you already know his arms ain't long enough to box with The T.B. Crew.  They finish off Kratos and although they are tired put on Extended Edition Return of the King in Chris's basement.  

The Z-Fighters make their way into space and are doing everything they can to battle the massive Primus, who has now transformed into a truly enormous robot.  The Z-Fighters combine forces and manage to get inside the Transformer god by busting a hole in his nearly impenetrable metal side.  Once inside they combine their powers and are able to overcome the power of Primus' spark and end the life of the age old Transformer.  Now trapped inside the cavernous metal corpse of Primus their victory is short-lived as Krillin, Tien, Shinhan, Yamcha, Chiatzu, Yajirobe, & Bulma are consumed as Unicron seeks both revenge and power as he crushes the now dead Cybertronian Metal body of his brother consuming it and The Z-Fighters inside.  

The Hero of Typhon has a vision of the future and realizes how dire it truly is.  He puts himself in a Force trance knowing that his squad's only chance of victory is to awaken the power of The Play-Off Planet itself; so as to poison Galactus when he inevitably attempts to consume it taking out every person, plant, and thing on it, including both of these teams.  The Jedi is not quite sure how this will be done; but he does know in his heart that the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of The Force.  And if The Force wills it, then it will be done.  

Strangely enough, when the Hero of Typhon Jedi has this vision and makes this decision.  The nearly omnipotent Galactus has not even yet decided to consume the planet.  He instead is doing battle with Gamera who manages to damage Galactus with his fire breath; but Galactus becomes enraged by this very rare bit of physical pain triggered by the giant turtle and friend to all children.  Galactus absorbs the next blast of fire breath and then destroys Gamera.  Galactus then loses control and at this moment decides that he must possess all the power the Play-Off Planet contains, beginning the process of eating the Planet, just as The Hero of Typhon had seen in his vision.   

Unicron begins sends out a booming message across space to let his TEAMmates know they must return to him as he foresees that even he cannot control Galactus in his mission to destroy all.  As they attempt to regroup Atreus shows up and puts an arrow into the chest of Miles Teg, but is then relieved of his head by Wolverine.  Wolvie and Muhammed Ali meet up, but are clueless as to how to get off planet.  Several of the TEAMmates are still not accounted for.  The destruction of this planet can be felt as Ed and his ex-boyfriend Hammer Bros. #6 show up at the exact same time as Conner (how awkward).  The last few seconds of the planet's existence begin to count away.  Ed and Conner meet with a gaze as they reach out and hold hands, all while both grasping a hand of Hammer Bros. #6. Conner uses his Speed Ring to cast the Egress Spell and safely vanishes the five of them off The dying Play-Off Planet.

Wolverine looks over at the hand-holding trio, then looks over to Ali saying:  "That sure was a queer match".

Ali responds:  "You ain't tellin me nuthin.  They sure are some":

-F-antastically

-A-wesome

-G-uys

-S-on