Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Better Than All of You Vs. The Legion of Doom

Better Than All of You is Thanos, Green Lantern, Mephisto, Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Agent Smith, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Sabu & Rob Van Damm, The Terminator (from T-1), The Terminator (from T-2), The Hart Foundation, The British Bulldogs, Skeletor, The Blues Bros. Rambo, Ghost Rider, Ric Flair w/ the 4 Horsemen, Doc Holliday, Hulk Hogan, Lex Luthor, Beechhead, Macho Man Randy Savage, Predator #1-8, & Cobra Commander.



The Legion of Doom is Darth Bain, Paul Atreides, T-X, Metroplex, Weapon Omega, Apocylypse, Col. John Madrox, The Aerialbots, Jet Jaguar, Shadowcat & Lockheed, Walker: Texas Ranger, The Sinister 6, Dilophosaurus #1-18, Wookie Soldier #1, & Treasure Troll #5.



After Better Than All of You's 2 and 0 start many people had high hopes for the team but after losing 3 out of 4 of their last matches Head Coach Cobra Commander has decided that he needs to have a more hands on approach which is why he gave himself the start this week. The Predators live to hunt their prey but they usually prefer a little bit more of a challenge than hunting Dilophosauruses in the middle of a city. The Dilophasauruses are fairly tough competitors but the invisible Predators do not waste much time taking out all 18 of the dinosaurs. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow move in behind Agent Smith as he jumps into action. Smith knocks down Col. John Madrox on his way to Weapon Omega. Storm Shadow finishes Madrox off with his ninja sword before he can get up. Weapon Omega moves to attack Agent Smith but is no where near fast enough to keep up with the computer program as Smith hits Weapon Omega with a flurry of punches until he has broken all of his ribs and punctured his heart. Smith, Storm Shadow, and Snake Eyes then all surround Paul Atreides. Agent Smith moves with blinding speed but Paul uses the defensive skills that were taught to him by Gurney Halleck and Duncan Idaho. He waits patiently to make his attack because when wearing a personal Holtzman shield one always needs to move fast on defense but slow on attack. Agent Smith knocks Paul around quite a bit but none of his attacks break through the shield. Smith moves in for the kill one more time but is met with a crysknife in the neck as Paul dodged his attack and let the rogue agent run right into his blade. Paul may have killed the leader of the attack but as Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes watched the fight progress they realized what they had to do to penetrate the field of Paul's shield. Storm Shadow runs at Paul with his sword swinging in order to throw Paul off while Snake eyes slowly slips his blade through the shield and into Paul's chest. Mephisto and Ghost Rider attack Apocylypse. Apocylypse grows signifigantly larger than his two opponents but it does not do him much good. Ghost Rider rides at him at speeds faster than sound unleashing the spirit of Vengeance on him, Mephisto then uses his power to increase this attack into a blast of hell-fire that not even the ancient Egyptian mutant Apocylypse can withstand. The 2 Terminators know that they are outdated models compared to the T-X but they believe that they can handle her if they work togeather. They begin fighting her but she moves to fast for either of them to keep up. She knocks their weapons out of their hands and then breaks the legs off of T-1. T-X then attempts to jump onto T-2 but T-1's upper torso grabs her legs from the ground and pulls her down to his level. The Terminator from T-2 then uses all of his might to punch through both of the Terminators below him killing both T-X and his teammate. Darth Bain, who does not like how this match-up looks for his team is hiding out in the darkness of the city streets, but he does jump out to dispatch the other Terminator with his lightsaber while it is still trying to dislodge its arm from the tangled metal mess of the other robots. The Sinister 6 all try to attack the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man but they are suprised at the durability of something made completely out of marshmallow. Stay Puft steps on Mysterio and then swats Vulture out of the air. He then gets attacked by Sandman but once Sandman jumps into the trans-dimensionally created marshmallow that makes up Stay Puft's body the Sandman gets stuck inside of him and is consumed by the ghostly goo. The Mega Powers reunite as Hulk Hogan and the Macho Man double team Wookie Soldier #1. Macho Man hits him with an elbow and then Hogan hits him with the big boot sending him down on to the mat, I mean side walk and then Hogan finishes him off with a special neck-breaking leg drop. Tully Blanchard crushes Treasure Troll #5 with steel chair to his pink-mohawked hair. Walker: Texas Ranger pulls out his Colt pistol and puts .45 caliber's worth of Southern retribution into the heads of both of The Blues Bros. He then holsters his gun and roundhouse kicks Sabu into his partner Van Damm. The 2 of them come back at Walker but Walker dodges the barb wire/steel briefcase attacks from the tag team duo. Walker then does a double spin kick into the necks of both Van Damm and Sabu, and kills them both. When Walker lands he attempts to pull out his pistol as fast as possible but he is not quite as fast as Doc Holliday who pulls his six-shooter out and avenges his teammates by being Walker's Huckleberry and shooting him right between the eyes. Jet Jaguar grows to his monster fighting size and the Aerialbots merge to form Superion. These 2 huge robots allow themselves to be led by Metroplex as they plow through the dwarfed city streets. Darth Bain senses that this battle does not look good for his team or that if they are going to win they will do it without him, so he sneaks away in retreat without telling his teammates, much like he did in the original Jedi/Sith war. Cobra Commander charges at Shadowcat and Lockheed while firing his pistol at the the 2 of them. Shadowcat phazes herself but cannot protect Lockheed soon enough and Cobra Commander shoots the 12 inch tall dragon, killing him. The infuriated Shadowcat touches Cobra Commander as he runs by her and causes him to become intangible as well. Cobra Commander does not know what is happening to him as he runs right through Shadowcat and into the brick wall of the building right next to them. Shadowcat then brings Cobra Commander back to his solid state which traps him inside the wall and crushes him inbetween the brick. Dr. Octupus attacks the Predators and instantly digs his huge tennacle into the head of Predator #2, killing him. He was foolish to think that the other Predators would not be able to react to this though as they swarm him. Doc Ock manages to take out Predator #8 as well but the other predators rip him to shreds before Hobgoblin and Electro can come to his aid. Rambo, from on top of one of the skyscrapers starts firing his M-60 at the 3 huge robots walking on the streets below. They turn their attention towards him but this was all a part of Cobra Commander's plan that they are still executing for him posthumousely. While they turn their attention to Rambo and the 7.62x.39 caliber rounds that are not doing much more than tickling the 3 robots, this is when the rest of the team attacks. Green Lantern and Thanos fly up as if to make an example of the 3 robots and both blast Metroplex with all of the energy they can muster. Superion and Jet Jaguar appear as shocked as giant robots can appear as the largest of the 3 of them is taken down rather easily by the 2 cosmic alien-powered beings. Superion uses his giant lazer gun to pick off Beachhead from the top of one of the nearby buildings and Jet Jaguar steps on Arn and Ole Anderson. Skeletor, has convinced The Hart Foundation and The British Bulldogs to join him in a daring attack on Superion. The 5 of them attempt to jump onto his back from on top of the building next to him. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith don't even make the jump and they plummet to their doom. Bret Hart and the Dynamite Kid make it on but once they are holding on to the giant gestalt they don't know what exactly they are supposed to do to him (other than act as a diversion for Skeletor, which was really the plan in the first place). Skeletor Lands on Superion's shoulders and blasts him with some dark magic from his wand as Superion brushes off Dynamite Kid into the side of the 5th story of the nearby building. "The Hitman" is still holding on for dear life to Superion's arm as Superion goes to knock Skeletor off next, but Lex Luthor flies up in his battle suit and blasts Superion in the head, sending him stumbling back a couple of feet. Skeletor takes this oppurtunity to stab his purple sword into the eye of Superion and then pump his head full of a huge blast from his magical staff completely frying the insides of Superion. Him and Bret Hart jump off with little more than bumps and bruises. Jet Jaguar is now surrounded by his opponents and knows that he can not win so he shrinks back down to human size and then escapes from the battle. Shadowcat phazes Electro and Hobgoblin and the 3 of them join Jet Jaguar in his escape.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!

3 comments:

Joe said...

Sabu & Rob Vandam would wipe each one of their own asses with Walker Texas Ranger. That sorry ass bitch is no match for the most EXTREME tag team in the history of wrestling!

P.S. Good story though, very amusing

Joe said...

By the way, since there was no mention of the "Nature Boy" during all of this I will remain under the impression that he was busy wheelin, dealin, jet flyin, limousine ridin, & kiss stealin his way to the top of space mountain. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Josh the Commish said...

Uhhh yeah, he was. Sorry if I forgot to mention it.