Monday, April 14, 2008

The Right Wing Vs. George Washington's Slaves

The Right Wing is Poseidon, Silver Surfer, Elite Storm Trooper #1-12, Batwoman, Blackfire, Gondor Soldier #1-12, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Green Goblin, Ulysses S. Grant, John Stewart, Storm, Incredible Hulk, Gold Dragon #11 & 12, T-Rex #16 & 17, Goliath, Wicked Witch of the West, Slimer, Flash, Nick & Bear, & Droid Fighter Ship #1.

George Washington's Slaves are Yoda, Shaak Ti, Jedi Master #1-3, Ki Adi Mundi, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Hound, Fizzle, Sauron, Wild Man #1, Suk Doctor #1 & 2, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Thor, Colossus, Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Ryan Burke, Bill & Hillary Clinton, Crimmell, Ben Linus, Corbin Dallas, Crash Bandicoot, Jason Bourne, Andy Taylor & Barney Fife, T-1000, Kyle Reese, Zach Morris, A.C. Slater, Screech, Lisa Turtle, Jesse Spano, & Kelly Kapowski, Uncle Buck, Bart Simpson, Gargamel & Azrael, Jerry Seinfeld, Cosmo Kramer, George Castanza, & Elaine Benes, The Griffins: Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris, Stewie, & Brian, Ron Jeremy, Fidel Castro, Jimmy Neutron, Sonny Chiba, & Sonny (from I-Robot).

The two teams are teleported to the heart of downtown Detroit. Yoda gathers Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, and Jedi Masters #1-3 and directs them to split up into smaller teams. Shaak Ti takes Fizzle, Corbin Dallas, Crash Bandicoot, and Bart Simpson over towards the Spirit of Detroit statue. Ki Adi Mundi gathers the Saved by the Bell kids, T-1000 and Sonny and makes their way over to Greektown. Jedi Masters #1-3 grab the Seinfeld Gang, the Griffin Family, Hound, Fidel Castro and Ben Linus as they all move towards Joe Louis Arena. The Right Wing’s flyers all take to the air, where they have a definite advantage. Storm using her mutant powers, conjures a powerful thunderstorm, which soaks the streets. “Ye dare challenge the God of Thunder with this mist?” bellows Thor as he flies into the sky. Thor raises Mjolnir and harnesses a bolt of lightning, sending it directly into Storm, frying her. Shaak Ti and her crew are confronted by Ulysses S. Grant and his squad of Gondor Soldiers, who have already positioned themselves around the statue. Grant sounds the attack and the Gondorians charge into battle. Bart Simpson and Crash Bandicoot are dispatched rather quickly. Shaak Ti kills Gondor Soldiers #7, 8, and 12 and orders Fizzle to transform. He crushes Gondor Soldier #9 and blasts Grant and Gondor Soldier #2. Corbin Dallas kills Gondor Soldier #1 as well. Shaak Ti pushes her team forward to finish the now leaderless Gondor Soldiers. Then a scarlet blur races by and kills Corbin Dallas. It then swarms all over Fizzle, who is trying to shoot at the blur, but it’s moving too fast. It completely dismantles the Autobot. Shaak Ti is able to Force push whatever it is that’s attacking them. It turns out to be the Flash, who was knocked into the Spirit of Detroit by Shaak Ti. This only slows Flash down for a fraction of a second. He races back to his feet and grabs two swords from fallen Gondor Soldiers, and in a blink of an eye, he decapitates Shaak Ti. The Wicked Witch of the West uses her evil magic to shoot Uncle Buck and turn Hillary Clinton into dust. A Bill Clinton chuckle to himself for a moment before him himself is vaporized. The Right Wing’s two Tyrannosaurs Rexes begin tearing up Woodward Ave, eating Andy Taylor, Barney Fife, Crimmell, Gargamel, and Azrael. Optimus Prime then rolls in and transforms, blasting himself into the air. (Cue “The Touch,” by Stan Bush) He flips over the dinosaurs shooting them with his laser rifle. He is then blasted into Fox Theatre by Silver Surfer. Arisia and Martian Manhunter aid the Autobot leader by blasting Silver Surfer from both sides. Thor then blindsides him with a powerful hit from his hammer. This allows Optimus Prime to get back on his feet so he can help others in need. J’onn J’onzz and Arisia are giving Silver Surfer all they have high above the city, but it’s not enough. The Surfer is fighting back. He knocks Manhunter away, sending him crashing into the Renaissance Building. He is about to kill Arisia, but John Stewart intervenes. Though she is on the opposing team, John Stewart has a sense of honor and duty to the fellow Green Lantern. What he does not count on is Blackfire, who uses this moment of compassion, to blast Arisia away. Thor attacks the shocked John Stewart and smashes him with Mjolnir, killing the Green Lantern. Down on the streets, The Right Wing’s Elite Clonetroopers have Jedi Masters #1-3 and their squad backed up on the steps of the Joe Louis Arena. They shoot down the Seinfeld Gang and most of the Griffin Family with little trouble. Jedi Masters #1 and 2 are able to slay Troopers #4-8. Hound transforms and uses his hologram to create an illusion of an army of Jedi, which come from behind the Elite Clonetroopers. This confuses and distracts them, which allows the Jedi, Hound, Fidel Castro, and Ben Linus to finish off the Troopers. During all of this commotion, Stewie vaporizes Lois Griffin, finally killing his mother. He scurries away to find safety. Goliath comes from behind the Arena and steps on Ben Linus and Fidel Castro. Hound then fires a missile at the giant, blowing a hole in its chest. Ki Adi Mundi and his forces are attacked by Gold Dragons #11 and 12, who are perched on top of Greektown Casino. They torch all of the Saved by the Bell kids. Gold Dragon #11 flies down to attack the rest, but due to its sheer size, is cramped in between the buildings. This enables Ki Adi Mundi to leap onto the dragon’s head, and plunges his lightsaber into its skull. T-1000 and Sonny manage to climb to the top of the Casino, and while the dragon is occupied by frying Sonny, T-1000 guts it with his arms that he had formed into long blades. Ryan Burke and Ron Jeremy have decided to flee the battle and instead duck into the Casino. Nick Houslander and Bear silently follow them. Bear jumps on to “the Hedgehog” and knocks him down. Nick then puts a couple 12 gauge slugs into Burke and Ron. Poseidon then causes a great earthquake that starts to crack the streets in half. He opens up Jefferson Ave. and Wild Man #1, Sonny Chiba and the Suk Doctors all fall in and perish. This earthquake does not destroy anymore of the city as Sauron enters the battle by bludgeoning the Greek God with his mace. He then goes on a tear throughout the city, killing the rest of the Gondor Soldiers and destroying the Wicked Witch of the West. Sauron then goes to strike the Incredible Hulk with his mace, but is hit with a massive uppercut from the green goliath. The Hulk stomps over to the Dark Lord of Mordor and picks him up by his throat and rips his arm off of his body, including the hand that wore the One Ring. Sauron’s body then swiftly disintegrates with explosive force. The Incredible Hulk then goes on a rampage of his own. He picks up Roller and throws it at George Washington’s Slaves, killing Duncan Idaho Ghola #7. He stomps on the three Jedi Masters, and picks up Jimmy Neutron by his huge head crushing it. He then rips the “Fist of Joe Louis” from its wires and hurls it at Colossus, “punching” him several blocks back. Colossus knows he is not strong enough to defeat the Hulk, but prepare to engage him again anyways. Yoda, however, has other plans for the Russian mutant. Thor hits the Hulk with a bolt of lightning to slow him down temporarily. Then Colossus picks Yoda up in his hand and fires the most amazing “Fastball Special” you would ever see. The Jedi Master flies through the air at an incredible speed with his lightsaber out and ready. Yoda plunges his lightsaber deep within the heart of the Incredible Hulk, ending his destruction. Martian Manhunter flies up and rips apart Droid Fighter Ship #1 and throws it at Green Goblin, killing him on impact. Duncan Idaho Ghola #6 engages Ki Adi Mundi in battle. They both move and high speeds, but Duncan Idaho gains an upper hand and stabs the Jedi Master in the chest, killing him. Batwoman swings down and dropkicks Jason Bourne. He quickly sweeps her feet and puts and elbow in her throat. He then grabs a batarang out of her utility belt and cuts her throat. Slimer flies around throughout the city, but is vaporized by Martian Manhunter’s eye beams. Silver Surfer and Blackfire now join in a quick attack on their enemies. Blackfire puts a hole right through Hound and Silver Surfer destroys T-1000 with his cosmic powers. Blackfire flies towards Optimus Prime to destroy him as she did his fellow Autobot, but is pulled to the ground by her ankle by Colossus. He then quickly snaps her neck. Yoda then avenges his fellow Jedi Master by slaying Duncan Idaho Ghola #6 in a fury of lightsaber attacks. Nick and Bear walk out of the Casino only to be snagged by their teammate the Flash, he runs off and tells Silver Surfer that they need to retreat, they are outnumbered and outgunned. Silver Surfer does not want to flee, but agrees that if he falls, his fellow teammates would surely fall as well. Stewie Griffin scampers out from his hiding spot and scurries up Optimus Prime to his shoulder and exclaims, “Victory is mine!”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!

2 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

To bad you two didn't fight in space that would have been even more awesome.

Artifact said...

Awesome matchup ryan. truly epic stuff.

I loved the Colossus/Yoda Fastball Special.

Perfect!