Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Le' Napoleon's Brigade

Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is Spider Man, Qui Gon Jinn, The Colonial Marines: Gunnery Sgt. Apone, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-B, Corp. Hicks, PFC Hudson, Corp. Ferro, Corp. Dietrich, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Crowe, & Pvt. Wierzbowski, Ellen Ripley, Leon, Albus Dumbledore, Dr. Grant, Rick Deckard, Bryan Beckerman, Bizarro, The Cloverfield Monster, Gen. Grevious, Angel, Black Dragon #15, David Beckham, Cole Sear, Short Round, Ms. Marvel, Maxima, Huma Dragonbane w/ his Red Dragon, Blue Beetle, Steel, Balrog #1 & 2, Agamemnon & Juno, Red Dragon #1-3, Hannah Montana, Jar Jar Binks, & Sir Winston Churchill.

Le' Napoleon's Brigade is Gandalf w/ Shadowfax, Aragorn, Arwen, Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Emperor Palpatine, Storm Trooper #51-80, Skyfire, Poison Ivy, Alan Scott, Jules Winfield & Vincent Vega, John Mclaine, Marcellus Wallace, Detectives Mike Lowry & Marcus Burnett, Vito Corleone, Santino Corleone, Riddler, Penguin, Catwoman, Horse #26-37, Silver Dragon #1-6, Morpheus, Hecate, Army Soldier #101-106, Posh Spice, Desmond Hume, & Bo Schembechler.

As soon as Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is teleported to the city for battle, the usually reserved Albus Dumbledore takes point out in front of his team. He knows that Le Napoleon’s Brigade have a powerful wizard of their own in Gandalf. Riding out upon Shadowfax, Gandalf realizes this as well. In a move of honor, Gandalf chooses never to unsheathe Glamdring, instead only using his staff. They both use various forms of wizardry on each other. Neither doing much damage to the other. There are massive bolts of magic being fired out of both staff and wand. As ordered by both, their respective teams wait patently for the outcome of this epic battle between two powerful wizards. Bo Schembechler is currently drawing up several different “plays” for his team to run for a victory. It isn’t until Emperor Palpatine makes his presence known, that this duel is decided. Against Gandalf’s orders, Palpatine blindsides Dumbledore with an excruciating blast of Force Lightning. He even blasts Gandalf when he tries to stop his evil teammate’s attack. Dumbledore is killed by the Emperor after he is fried by Force Lightning. The Corleone Family within Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade has accepted two new members, Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega. The Godfather immediately puts them both to work. He puts a hit out on Hannah Montana and her consigliere, Bryan Beckerman. Jules and Vincent climb into a nearby car and take off. The Riddler is then pulled into the shadows of an alley and is tossed back out with his throat sliced. Shots are fired from within the dark alley and kill Vito Corleone and Army Soldier #103. The other five Soldiers begin blanketing the alley with bullets. But they hit nothing. Sonny, now in a blood rage over the death of his father, charges out into the battle and grabs the first enemy he sees, Angel. He starts beating the holy hell out of him. He throws Angel up against a dumpster and starts slamming him into it. He kicks Angel in the stomach a few times before being knocked back by Angel. The vampire finally stands up and changes into Angelus. He leaps at Sonny and bites him on the neck. He doesn’t bother turning the Corleone hot-head, but rather just snaps his neck. Hannah Montana now sounds the full assault on Le Napoleon’s Brigade. She unleashes the Cloverfield Monster, Balrog #1 and #2, and Red Dragons #1-3 on the Brigade. Cloverfield crushes the Penguin under one of his mighty claws and starts shooting out several smaller monsters to attack. They consume Storm Troopers #57, 64, 71 and 77. The Balrogs use their fire whips to kill Poison Ivy and Marcellus Wallace. The three Red Dragons are swarmed by six Silver Dragons, but are aided by Huma Dragonbane, who is flying in on his own Red Dragon. Huma and The Red Dragons are able to slay Silver Dragons #1, 4, and 6, but lose Red Dragons #2 and 3. Coach Bo orders his team to form a strong line of defense and hold off this wave of attacks. The Storm Troopers get in front, along with Alan Scott, who creates a large green wall of energy to block the oncoming attack. Bo Schembechler calls the rest of his teammates over into a huddle. He has come up with a plan to defeat these creatures. The Cloverfield Monster, it’s “babies”, and the Balrogs are smashing on the green wall, which is beginning to crack. He pulls out his clipboard and shows them the plan. Palpatine is too arrogant to normally take orders, but respects Bo’s remorseless and punishing brand of coaching. “All right, listen up. Those things are more dangerous than Woody Hayes with a first yard marker in his hand,” growls Bo. “You Army Soldiers get to the top of that building over there and lay down some cover fire. Arwen, take Detectives Burnett and Lowry, Desmond Hume, Posh Spice and Morpheus get on those horses over there and take out those weird little spider monsters. Palpatine uses all your power and take down Cloverfield. Alan Scott will help you.” “I need no help,” Palpatine snaps back. “This isn’t up for discussion!” shouts Schembechler. “Skyfire, take Detective John McClane and fly over to take out those Cymeks. You Storm Troopers keep firing on those Balrogs. We’ll deal with them in a second. All right, let’s go. Alan let up the wall!” The Brigade all have their orders and scatter to accomplish their individual missions. The Army Soldiers race over to the building that’s across the street. Alan Scott removes the green wall and takes flight, blasting the Cloverfield Monster with green fire. Arwen and her squad take off on their horses, shooting at the smaller monsters with gunfire and arrows. The smaller monsters all die, but manage to take out all of their horses, but luckily there were backup horses stationed behind the nearby Starbucks. Emperor Palpatine unleashes a storm of Force Lightning at the Cloverfield Monster and starts frying it alive. It’s flaying its long legs about, crashing into the surrounding buildings. Debris is falling everywhere. Alan Scott lends his additional help and together they destroy the might monster. Skyfire swoops in from the night sky and opens his bay doors allowing John McClane to leap out on to Agamemnon. He starts unloading his gun into Agamemnon’s human brain. Skyfire transformers and lands on Juno, and blows a hole right through the Cymeks body. He then rips the human brain from his protective shell. Bo then radios for Gandalf to aid the Storm Troopers who are falling fast to the Balrogs. Already, Storm Troopers #62, 63, 70, and 78-80 have been killed. Gandalf rides in with the top of his staff shining bright at the Balrogs. He draws Glamdring from its sheath and points it to the sky. It’s hit by a bolt of lightning. That bolt, is a signal for Hecate, to fire his powerful missiles at the Balrogs, and thus blowing them away. The Colonial Marines now jump into action. PFC Vasquez and Pvt. Drake start mowing down Storm Troopers with their M56 Smart Guns, killing Storm Troopers #51-56, and 58-61. Corp. Ferro, Pvt. Crowe, Pvt. Wierzbowski, and Corp. Dietrich are all killed by the Troopers. Jules and Vincent swing by and grab Lt. Gorman, pulling him into their car. “Okay, where are Hannah and Beckerman?” Vincent shouts at Gorman as he’s pointing a gun in the Lieutenant’s face. “I… I… I… don’t know,” a shaken Gorman replies. “Well… What DO you know, Lt. Gorman, is it?” asks Jules. “Ummm… Uhhhh..” stutters Gorman. “Well answer the man,” says Vincent. “I mean you must know something, right? You can’t just be thrown into this battle without knowing where your leader is.” Just then a piece of building crashes down right on to the front of their car. “Aww shit, I just shot Gorman in the face,” sighs Vincent. But, before Jules has an opportunity to reply, Bizarro Superman slams down on the roof of the car, crushing the two hit men inside. The Silver Dragons continue to battle Red Dragon #1 along with Huma Dragonbane and his Red Dragon. Black Dragon #15 flies down from its perch high above the city and tips the scales in its team’s favor. It spews acid at Silver Dragon #2 and 3, and the two Red Dragons, using their fire breath, kill Silver Dragon #5. The Dragons then fly down low to the road and attack the horse riders. The Black Dragon covers the “Bad Boys” with acid, killing both them and their horses. Desmond’s horse is picked up by Red Dragon #1 and he himself is killed by Huma Dragonbane. Arwen, Morpheus and Posh Spice are able to escape the dragon attack. Their horses, however, are hit by sniper shot courtesy of Leon, who has come out from the shadows of the alley. They are then surrounded by Blue Beetle, Ellen Ripley, and David Beckham. David Beckham doesn’t hesitate at all and kicks his wife right in her chest, killing her. (I guess he didn’t know that he had a divorce lawyer on his team.) Arwen, using her elf speed and agility makes short work of Ripley, running her through with Hadhafang. Morpheus is surprised by Blue Beetle’s impressive hand-to-hand combat, which is even fast enough to disarm him. What impressed him even more, is Beetle’s amazing intellect. Beetle was able to deduce what not only Morpheus was going to do next, but also his teammate Arwen. He back flips just in time, as Arwen thrusts her sword at him, but instead kills her own teammate Morpheus. Beckham and Beetle the double team Arwen. Beckham sweep kicks her legs out from underneath her, and Blue Beetle shoots her with one of his guns that he created. Spider-Man swings down from the skyline and snares Catwoman with his webs. “Hey wait a second, don’t I know you?” asks a confused Spider-Man. “I doubt that,” replies Catwoman. “Yeah, you’re probably right. The cat I know is hotter and not dead,” quips Spidey as he whips Catwoman into a brick wall, shattering her skull. Wonder Woman, who is in complete ceremonial armor, and Wonder Girl take flight and attack Ms. Marvel. Wonder Woman tells her sidekick to find Hannah Montana and take her out. Ms. Marvel fires a powerful energy blast at Wonder Woman, but she is able to block it with her golden bracelets. Angry and vengeful of the beating her team has received last week, she lassos Ms. Marvel around her neck and swings her around, sending her crashing into the side of a building, killing her. Wonder Woman the lands in the middle of the remaining Colonial Marines and slaughters them all with her magically forged sword. She moves so fast against them, Hudson doesn’t even have time to make a smart-ass remark. Bizarro Superman then flies into Wonder Woman sending her crashing through a nearby McDonald’s. The enraged Amazon Warrior wastes little time in getting back up. She flies as hard as she can, driving her sword right into the backwards “S” on Bizarro’s chest. “Me am alive?” asks Bizarro as he falls before Diana’s feet. “Hmmm such anger, such rage. I must keep a close eye on her,” Emperor Palpatine says quietly to himself as he watches Wonder Woman’s attack. The Army Soldiers have been firing from a rooftop close by, where they’ve manage to kill Sir Winston Churchill, Cole Sear, Dr. Grant, and Rick Deckard. Steel slams down on top of the roof where the Army Soldiers are positioned and destroys them all with his massive hammer. They try to fight back, but the bullets just ricochet off of his steel armor. Qui Gon Jin is attack by Aragorn, who is wielding Andúril. Qui Gon quickly ignites his lightsaber and the two powerful blades clash. The Jedi is very surprised to see that Aragorn’s sword can withstand a strike from a lightsaber. An impressive and awe-inspiring duel takes place in the middle of the street. (This is really one for the ages, I wish I had a camera.) Aragorn’s sword sparks as it clashes with the Jedi Master’s lightsaber. Palpatine moves to destroy Qui Gon with Force Lightning, much like he did with a distracted Dumbledore. But Gandalf uses his staff to block the lightning, allowing Aragorn to continue his battle. Aragorn moves in between several abandoned cars over in a back alley, as Qui Gon now moves on the offensive. This unfortunately, is a detriment to Qui Gon’s attack. By drawing him in to closer quarters, Aragorn is able to gain the upper hand. The Jedi Master manages to knock Andúril out of Aragorn’s hand, but is stabbed up underneath his rib cage with Aragorn’s Elven knife. Aragorn kneels down beside his foe and whispers a small prayer before leaving to join the ensuing battle. Gen. Grievous has been slaughtering Storm Troopers left and right with his newly repaired arms. He kills the remaining Storm Troopers with efficient ease. Skyfire flies in a high speeds blasting Huma Dragonbane and the other dragons out of the moonlit sky. Gen. Grievous, after enjoying his annihilation of the Storm Troopers turn to stalk Bo Schembechler, who is now accompanied by Gandalf with Shadowfax. John McClane sees the cyborg moving for the kill. McClane jumps into a cab parked nearby and takes off after him. “Christ John, how do you always get yourself into this mess? This is such a great idea, chasing after a cyborg alien in a cab. Smart, John. Real smart,” John mumbles to himself. He runs Grievous over with the cab and pins him to the street. McClane gets out of the cab and stands over the General. “Do you think *cough, cough* this can stop me, you insignificant human?” ask Grievous. “No, but this might,” replies John as he fires several bullets into the exposed eyes of Gen. Grievous. McClane looks down and picks up one of Grievous’s lightsabers and runs back into the fray. Wonder Girl manages to track down Hannah Montana and Bryan Beckerman, who are being guarded now by Steel and Spider-Man. Wonder Girl radios back to Coach Bo and informs him of her position. Bo tells her to wait until the rest of her team arrives before she strikes. And just like what all teenage kids do, she completely ignores him. She flies in and is met with Steel’s giant hammer right to the face, caving it in. Alan Scott, Emperor Palpatine, Aragorn, Wonder Woman, Skyfire, Gandalf (on Shadowfax), and Hecate all arrive at the location Wonder Girl had radioed back. Hannah has gathered her troops together as well, for this final stand. John McClane sneaks around and with using the lightsaber he took from the fallen Gen. Grievous, cuts David Beckham’s legs off. “Soccer’s for pansies,” quips McClane. Emperor Palpatine using his amazing lightsaber skills leaps into the middle of Bryan Beckerman and Blue Beetle, eviscerating them. Hecate fires a few missiles, burying Jar Jar Binks and Short Round under the rubble. Knowing that this is a battle they can no longer win, Hannah orders her team to retreat. After their victory, Gandalf and Emperor Palpatine share some choice words with each other over Palpatine’s actions at the beginning of the battle.
LE’ NAPOLEON’S BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!