Friday, February 20, 2009

Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyatches vs Alice's Wonder Team

About one week before Alice’s Wonder Team have their first Regular Season match since being placed under new ownership, they received a videotape that they were instructed to watch. New Head Coach Grand Admiral Thrawn sits his team down in the locker room to view this mysterious tape. It’s grainy and in black and white. It starts with just a shot of an old well. Then a really creepy looking girl crawls out of the well and starts moving towards the screen. Then all of a sudden the well explodes and out climbs a giant Hulk looking figure. He stares directly at the screen and gets up close to it. “Samara is the least of your worries,” growls the monster. Then, unexplainably, his massive red hand reaches through the screen and crushes Kenny McCormick. “Omigod! They killed Kenny! You bastards!” scream Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski. The hand then retreats back into the screen and Red Hulk says “Seven days.” The screen goes black and the videotape ejects itself. General Zod leaps out of his chair and bellows “This attack must not go unpunished! Send me to Detroit, so I may personally make them kneel before the awesome might of Alice’s Wonder Team!”

Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches are Red Hulk and Samara Morgan.

Alice’s Wonder Team is General Zod, Goblin #2-4.

Red Hulk crashes down in from of the Renaissance Center and Samara creepily climbs out of a sewer. Gamma radiation is emanating out of the angry monster as he literally melts the pavement with every step. Samara a crawling around the sidewalk and is all of a sudden crushed by General Zod slamming down on top of her. He then orders his trio of Goblins to attack “Rulk.” Zod completely underestimates Rulk as he makes very quick work of the Goblins. In an act of arrogance, Rulk rips the head off of Goblin #4 and hits Zod in the chest with it. “Come on you fairy, let’s go,” grunts Rulk. Zod swoops in to attack Rulk, but he side steps the Kryptonian and slaps him down onto the sidewalk. Rulk stomps his massive foot into the back of Zod, then grabs his leg and launches him into the Renaissance Center. General Zod flies out of the building back at Rulk, only this time he uses his freeze breath to try and cool off the behemoth. He encases Rulk in a solid block of ice, which only holds him but for a moment. Rulk uppercuts Zod hard, up into the air. “You think a little ice can stop me?!” an increasingly angry Rulk shouts. He slams his fist down on the ground causing a large crack in the road (which probably won’t even be noticed by motorists). Zod then fires his heat vision directly into Rulk’s chest, which just cause Rulk to laugh. “Ha! Don’t you know what they say? “The madder Rulk gets, the HOTTER Rulk gets!”” “Yes, I have heard that. Which is exactly my point. I’m just trying to speed the process up for you,” replies Zod. He then starts laying haymakers across Rulk’s jaw. He’s getting angrier and angrier, and kicks the General in the stomach. Rulk jumps on top of General Zod and starts slamming him over and over again. “I’M GOInnn… tttooo… k..k..i..lll.. yoo…u…” Yells Rulk, but starts getting light headed. A battered General Zod spits out some blood and smirks at him. “Finally, we’re getting somewhere.” He then cracks him with a double uppercut, sending him up into the air, which General Zod flies up after him. Zod then grabs the overheated and unconscious Rulk and spins him around sending him far into Canada.

ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!

6 comments:

Solobeck said...

Ryatu:
Awesome match-up between Rulk and Zod! Still think that creepy dead girl from a tape would do more to that receding hair-lined, spandex leisure suited, lame ducked Chancelored, Kryptonian General before she got squashed though. . .
-B2
p.s.: NICE JOB

Josh the Commish said...

The Backyardigans and The Horsemen: Both 0 & 2. Who would have thunk it. Great work to both of the Watchers and better luck to the 2 former Division winners in the rest of the season.

Ryan said...

Wait... wasn't that same recending hair-lined, spandex leisure suited, lame ducked Chancelored, Kryptonian General supposed to be your first round draft pick??

P.S. Nice job on your match too. Though I think the Grand Jedi Master would be able to put up more of a fight against a schizophrenic cripple.

See I can do it too.

Unknown said...

Nice story, but does this mean Kenny is already at 1 death. Lol

Josh the Commish said...

Yes it does, sorry Robert. By the way great to hear from you. You have already surpassed your team's previous owner in number of posts.

Lickolas said...

The beginning of the story was fantastic dude. Sumara is such a great character, the more tapes the better.

Welcome to club Robert, it good to have some new blood on the comment board.