Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Aunt May, Bob: Agent of HYDRA, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, The Juggernaut, Jedi Youngling #39, & Dorf.

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos is The Pretenders: Capt. Latin America, Cannon Man, & The Bottomless Stomach w/ Kid Nee, Rachel Ray, Ahmed Best, Jack Crowe, Venus & Serena Williams, Clone Trooper #100, & Gungan #35.


Aunt May loses her footing and falls off of the mountain. Hawkman & Hawkwoman land next to the rest of their teammates on the mountain. Bob: Agent of HYDRA enquires “Hey what are they doing here; it said in the opening that Juggernaut was on our team”? Dorf replies with “Well that’s how the team was called in but Juggernaut was traded to The Horsemen of Apokolips for Hawkman & Hawkwoman the night of the draft lottery”. “Oh that’s weird” Bob replies. “Do they have the same point value or something”? Blossom chimes in with “Hey we are just characters in the match we’re not supposed to know about point values and draft lotteries. What; do you think that just cause you’re from a Deadpool comic you are allowed to break the 4th wall and just freely talk about this stuff”. “I don’t know I just got here a little while ago, but this place does kind of remind me of that show Masters of the Universe I used to watch when I was a kid”. Dorf reignites the conversation by saying “Well to answer your question Bob, actually Hawkman & Hawkwoman cost 5 more points than Juggernaut, but the commissioner must have not felt like changing it or something”? Bob says “Well that’s bulls*&t, so in other words Goofjuice gets rewarded because he doesn’t know who is on his team”! “Are we still talking about this” Jedi Youngling #39 adds. “What’s with the midget Jedi” Bob asks of his new idle Dorf. Dorf fills him in on the back story of how this Youngling started his training out with Yoda and is now being taught by Jedi Master #20 and about how it all only happened because he was just hidden in the bottom line of a trade to the Horsemen involving Greedo, himself, and a bunch of giant Sandworms”. Bob then gives Dorf a not to bright look and says “Really……………. Is it true that Greedo shot first”? “It sure is son”. Dorf says to his new bud. “Hey Chatty Kathies! Look alive the Commandos are making their way up the mountain”. Bubbles says. Dorf, the obvious team leader tells his men to form up and get ready for the attack.. Dorf yells “Hey Bird people”. “We’re called Hawkman & Hawkwoman”. Hawkman says sternly. Dorf says “Oh sorry about that, nice to meet you, and welcome to the team. Sorry I didn’t show up to training camp, then we probably wouldn’t have to have this awkward introduction in the middle of a battle, but anyway I hear you’re good people so, pleased to meet you”. The pleasure is all ours, I assure you Mr. Dorf”. Hawkwoman says. “Oh its just Dorf, Mr. Dorf is my Dad, no need for formalities on The Murderflies”. “Will you 2 shut up, they’re coming”! Buttercup screams. Dorf then jumps back into leader mode and says “Hawkman & Hawkwoman, you and The Power Puff Girls take to the air and flank us on both sides. Aunt May take the……. Hey, where the hell is Aunt May. Ohhh never mind. Bob & the Youngling will back me up, we’ll be the first wave”. On their way up the mountain Venus turns to her sister Serena and says as she points back to her other teammates “Do you hear all the commotion up there, and I thought these clowns talked a lot”. The leader of The Pretenders then turns to his squad and says “Hello, I am Capt. Latin America, I realize that some of you have been on this team for a while and that some of you are newcomers like myself, Cannon Man & The Bottomless Stomach”. “Don’t forget about me” Kid Nee chimes in. Cap replies with “Don’t worry kid I try to forget every day and trust me, it’s impossible”. Cap picks up where he left off by saying “My Amigos, I hope that in time you will be able to earn my trust and that today you will follow me as I lead our team to victory”. “Alright I know who they are but who is the weird looking guy” Gungan #35 says as he points to Ahmed Best. “it’s Ahmed Best” his old friend Clone Trooper #100 says. “More like Ahmed Worst” Jack Crowe says while shaking his head. With the art of conversation being exhausted on both sides of the mountain the Commandos, led by Capt. Latin America charge Dorf & The Murderflies. Bob pulls out his HYDRA issue pistol and shoots Ahmed Best right between the eyes (he missed twice also, but 3rd time is indeed a charm). He then spots Rachel Ray and screams “OMIGOD, this league is incredible! First I meet Dorf and now my favorite host of 30 Minute Meals”. “How about 30 Second fights Rachel Ray says as she jacks Bob in the grill with her garbage bowl, knocking him off of the Mountain”. Hawkman & Hawkwoman fly in quickly toward the Pretenders and begin their air attack. Hawkman realizes early on that Capt. Latin America is calling the shots and that he needs to be taken out quick. Hawkman comes in behind the Captain punching him in the back to throw him off guard, which opens him up to a wallop from Hawkwoman’s Mace which sends him off the mountain and to his doom. Hawkman then swoops down and picks up the defiant Kid Nee, who tries to fight back but is used as a weapon to throw at Cannon Man, knocking them both off of the cliff as well. A furious Bottomless Stomach runs up to the man that just took out his whole team and swallows Hawkman whole. Bottomless Stomach then lets out a killer burp and says “Ya gotta like poultry”. Cannon man, although he knows he is plummeting to his death uses the built in targeting system in his face and blasts Hawkwoman in the chest killing her as well. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup fly in fast around Jack Crowe who with an amazing shot blasts Bubbles right out of the air with a crossbow bolt. Jack doesn’t get to enjoy his victory for long though, as Blossom & Buttercup each fly in and grab one of Jack Crowe’s arms. It is unsure who won the match of tug-o-war that then ensued but it is pretty safe to say that Jack Crowe (both halves of him) lost. Clone Trooper #100 is trying to blast Jedi Youngling #39 but the little padawan is simply to fast to hit. The Youngling is not yet good enough to deflect blaster bolts but the force is with him as he dodges one more shot and then takes out Clone Trooper #100’s head with a deadly lightsaber swing. Venus and Serena, with rackets in hand rush the de facto leader of The Murderflies, Dorf. Dorf puts up quite a fight (and by puts up quite a fight I mean ducks down and covers up his head) before The Williams sisters bludgeon the midget to death with their weapons of choice. Venus and Serena are caught in the middle of a post kill celebratory hug when the 2 remaining Power Puff Girls punch them off of the mountain. The Power Puff Girls regroup with Youngling #39 while Gungan #35 meets back up with Rachel Ray who is feeding the Bottomless Stomach a variety of different easy to make yet delicious snacks. Buttercup then flies in toward the Bottomless Stomach who opens his mouth wide to try to eat the angry little Power Puff Girl when the tricky Buttercup pulls a boulder out from behind her back and sticks it in the mouth of everybody’s favorite new super-hero. While the Bottomless Stomach takes a couple of seconds to swallow the boulder Buttercup takes full advantage of the situation and punches him off of The Eternian Mountainside. “I don’t like kids, but I do have a dog” Rachel Ray says in her raspy voice followed by a nervous laugh as she is being chased around by an angry toddler with a lightsaber. Blossom dodges the throws of several boomba’s by Gungan #35 and then says “What do you think I am, a Machaneek” as she kicks the poor gungan to his doom. Jedi Youngling #39 then corners Rachel Ray on the edge of the cliff and puts away his lightsaber. He then focuses all his energy on a force push and manages to push the Chef converted talk show host off of the cliff. “WOW”! The Youngling exclaims. After pushing the defenseless Rachel Ray to her death “That was the first time I ever got that to work, Jedi Master #20 will be so proud.
BROCK SAMPSON FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!

10 comments:

Archr5 said...

And the younglings come through in a pinch!

Also, garbage bowl kill = best kill so far.

Lickolas said...

I have to agree with the Archr5 on the garbage bowl kill, that was just awesome! Just as good as Dora.

Congrats to Archr5, your team is even better this year then last.

Artifact said...

It couldn't get any worse.

Artifact said...

Archr5's team I meant

Artifact said...

Not the match. The match was well written.

Artifact said...

Sorry. I should have put all this into one post.

Artifact said...

I'll remember to do that next time.

Josh the Commish said...

Thanks

Josh the Commish said...

clarifying

Josh the Commish said...

"Z"