Saturday, March 26, 2011

George Washington’s slaves Vs The Transfoamers

George Washington’s slaves are…
Captain Crunch with his little boat, Tony the Tiger, Spongebob Squarepants, Air Bud, Fidel Castro,Sgt. Slaughter , Frank Martin in a Swift Boat (The Transporter), Bebop & Rocksteady in a hovercraft, and Starship Trooper #1-18

The Transfoamers are…
Autobot #1-5, Transformers #1-10, Ghosts #1-7, Starscream's Ghost, and Auric Goldfinger



Before I start the match I would like to give all of you some back story on Ghosts # 1-7, Because its just doesn’t feel right that they are nameless. I mean come on they were once people you know. Their names were Dan, Luke, Steve, Pete, Demario, Mike, and Doug. Dan was a software engineer from Riverside CA, He liked to party and do coke on the weekends. Who doesn’t right? But one fateful night him and a group of his friends decided to go down to Tijuana to see to the legendary donkey show. Long story short this dude had sex with the girl that had sex with the donkey, and got a rather nasty form of AIDS and died.
Luke was a junkie who lived in Seattle. The day Luke died he and his buddy cooked up two shots of rather good heroin. About 3 hours later Luke awoke to see that his friend was dead, in a panic he dragged his friend outside and began digging a hole underneath the porch. (Yes, it is a fact that when a junkie dies you burry them under the porch). Suddenly his friend woke up and fearing for his life strangled Luke with the very tube he used to tie off with. Steve and Pete both Broke their own necks try to suck their own d**k’s. Oddly enough both men’s families claim they were killed changing tires. Demario accidentally stepped on another mans Jordan’s in long beach. He was Shot 12 times. Mike is the oldest of the 7 he was born in 1828 and fought in the Mexican-American war. It was during the war that he died. He had slept with another mans wife, and was run over repeatedly by the husband on his trusty Sow. Finally we have Doug and all that is know about Doug is that he died of dehydration and exposure atop Cesar’s palace, Doug also had 80 thousand dollars in Bellagio chips on his person.

Okay now that we know who we are dealing with we can get on with the match.

The Transfoamers are the first to be dropped into the Indian ocean. Auric Goldfinger is having trouble staying afloat. He is using all his energy splashing about just trying to stay alive, and the slaves haven’t even hit the water yet. All the commotion attracts attention. A large killer whale burst up right underneath Goldfinger and begins chomping him to bits, then because the large mammal ate so fast he pukes Auric back up and swims away. It was a sight to see.

Starscream’s Ghost: Well now that we have gotten ride of the dead weight , I PROCLAIM MYSELF NEW TEAM LEADER!

Autobot#1: F**k you Starscream, I am an Autobot for life!

Transformer#1: Well actually it says in the official Transformer handbook that, if any current or former Officer in either the Autobot’s or Decpticons , Proclaims him or herself leader, and there is no worthy objector, then he or she is leader.

Autobot#1: WHO THE F**K ASKED YOU?

Just then Starscream’s Ghost takes control of Autobot#1’s body.

Starscream’s Ghost inside Autobot#1: Well seeing as we have no more objections here’s the plan.

They’ve started to whisper so lets go see what’s going on with the Slave’s.

We find them on their way to the ocean inside the FFL transport. Sgt. Slaughter and Fidel Castro are engaged in a fist fight. Castro hit’s the Sgt with a low blow then charges for another attack, Slaughter responds with a Big Boat to the face. The to separate for a quick breather.
Sgt. Slaughter: YOU FILTHY LITTLE WORM! WHAT KINDA OF A MAN SETS HIS OWN TEAM ON FIRE!?! LAST TIME I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE IMORTAL SLIM BUT NOW I SEE YOU’RE THE ULTIMATE PUKE IAM GONNA…
BANG, BANG, BANG

The Castro had become impatient and board with the Sgt.’s rant, so he shot him three times in the chest. He cocky Cuban busied both hands with a cigar and matches, SUDDENLY Sgt Slaughter sprung back to his feet for one last stand. The Sgt. Tackled Castro applied the camel clutch and broke the Latino in two before dropping dead himself.

The transport finally reaches its designated drop off point. The Slaves Land right next to a staging area similar to the one they set up in world 2-2 but there are 6 hovercraft and 6 swift boats.

Starship Trooper # 1 High fives #2 . The slaves are just about to get into their water craft when they hear the oh so familiar sound transformers make when they transform. The Transfoamers all make themselves know and quickly decimate the Slave’s. Frank Martin Is crushed to death when Transformer #3 transforms with him inside. The starship troopers, who are all standing in a single file line waiting to board the boats are all killed when transformer #7 claps his hands together with them all in the path. Bebop and Rcoksteady are used as projectiles to sink cap’n crunch’s fleeing ship. Captain Crunch , Tony the Tiger, Spongebob Squarepants, and Air Bud are all held under water by the 7 ghosts until they drowned. It took 7 of them cause the were kinda s**ty people in life so they are very weak ghosts.


THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!

George Washington’s Slaves: ALL DEAD

The Transfoamers all survive except Auric Goldfinger.

2 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Good work Griffin, and damn Rob!!!!!!!! 4 and 0 BA-----BEEEEE!!

Rob said...

This is me being speechless.