Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs. The Abomitrons

“Saskatoon comes from the Cree inanimate noun misâskwatômina ‘saskatoon berries,’ which refers to the sweet, violet-coloured berry that grows in the area.”

I look to the teams which will do battle in the frigid region just outside of Saskatoon. They are as follows:

The Kennelz: Dr. Doomsday, Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton, Karnak, Gorgon, Crystal, Lockjaw, Maximus the Mad, Matt Parkman, Hiro Nakamura, Claire Bennett, Tracy Strauss, The Haitian, The Matrix Twins (w/ lightsabers), Peter Petrelli, Sylar, Dark Jedi Masters #25A-33A, Daniel Larusso (w/ lightsaber).

The Abomitrons: Cyborg Superman, Capt. America on his motorcycle, Yaddle w/ Padawan #33, Blade, Hancock, Underdog, Cerberus (w/ a red lantern ring), Cyborg in an ornithopter, Abin Sur, Commander Cody w/ Kyle and Zachary Houslander and Bucky in a Seismic Tank, Capt. Rex w/ Phineas, Ferb and Perry in a Seismic Tank, Spider-boy in Spider Man's helicopter, Falco in Tiger Heli, Mara Jade in Tiger Heli Helper #1, Robin in Tiger Heli Helper #2, Ultra Boy, Stryfe, Motaro, Iron Monger, Ben 10 Alien Force: Ben, Gwen and Kevin, Zombie Tails, Zombie Scooby Dumb and Naboo Soldier #2.

Let the battle begin. . .

Yaddle: Sweep the leg. Do you have a problem with that?

Padawan #33: No, Sensei.

Yaddle: No mercy.

Padawan #33 attempts to sweep Larusso’s leg, but Larusso manages to avoid the Padawan’s move. In response to this diabolical deed, Larusso ignites his lightsaber. Padawan #33’s own blade comes to life. Larusso gains the upper hand due to his training under Mr. Miyagi. Padawan #33 hears Yaddle shout instructions during the duel.

Yaddle: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?

Padawan #33: No Master!

Yaddle: Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?

Padawan #33: No Master!

Yaddle: Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?

Padawan #33: No Master!

Padawan #33 is revved up by the words of Yaddle and storms after Larusso. Larusso avoids the slash of Padawan #33 and causes a large gash in Padwan #33’s side; Padawan #33’s body falls, mortally wounded.

Yaddle (looks to Larusso): Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy.

Yaddle rushes at Larusso and kills the Karate Kid. Dark Jedi Masters #25A-33A swarm Yaddle and slice the diminutive Jedi Council member apart.

Captain America rides his motorcycle into the Dark Jedi Masters and quickly throws his shield, which decapitates Dark Jedi Master #25A. As the shield flies back to its master, Dark Jedi Master #28A cuts it in half. Captain America sits on his motorcycle with his mouth agape. The patriot and vehicle race toward Dark Jedi Master #28A. Before he reaches his target, Captain America and his bike are cut down by Dark Jedi Masters #27A and 29A. Stryfe and Motaro arrive at the scene. Motaro kills Dark Jedi Master #33A, but is, in turn, killed by Dark Jedi Masters #30A and 32A. Stryfe wields his blade and combined with his mutant abilities, kills Dark Jedi Masters #26A and 32A. Stryfe is overwhelmed and skewered by surviving Dark Jedi Masters #27A-31A.

Naboo Soldier #2 smiles as he sees a young, warmly-dressed, cheerleader. He aims his gun at her and fires. Claire Bennett crumples to the ground. Bennett lies on the icy floor for a minute and slowly rises. Naboo Soldier #2 cannot believe his eyes and fires again. Bennett falls. As Naboo Soldier #2 focuses on what is to happen next, he hears a woman’s voice behind him.

Strauss: You really shouldn’t prey on young women. . .

Strauss touches Naboo Soldier #2 and freezes him into a Naboosicle. Bennett walks up to the soldier and strikes him in the head. Naboo Soldier #2 shatters.

The Seismic Tanks carry Commander Cody, Kyle and Zachary Houslander and Bucky in one and Captain Rex, Phineas, Ferb and Perry in the other. The Tanks eject their pistons into the tundra below. The seismic shockwaves throw all of the combatants around. As the Tanks are about to fire their combined weaponry at their foes, Black Bolt unleashes his destructive hypersonic voice. The tanks are up-ended and basically become useless in the continued battle. Peter Petrelli flies the Haitian and Matt Parkman to the Tank that carries Cody, the Houslanders and Bucky. Parkman enters into the head of Commander Cody and nudges his mind to fire upon Bucky, killing Captain America’s sidekick. Parkman then forces Cody to take his own life. The Houslander boys begin to run away and are captured by Petrelli. The Haitian wipes their minds so they will not remember the disturbing events which have recently transpired in front of them. Sylar walks to the scene and puts his arm around the Houslanders. Parkman nudges their minds to happily walk away with Sylar behind the snowdrifts. After a short time, Sylar comes from behind the snow; the two Houslander boys do not follow. Sylar notices both Zombie Scooby Dumb and Zombie Tails rushing at his Heroes’ teammates. Before the zombies are able to reach them, Sylar uses his abilities to slice their heads open. The zombies stumble down, dead. . . really dead.

Captain Rex slowly moves from the tank with Phineas, Ferb and Perry. Lockjaw pounces on the Disney trio and rips them apart. Underdog and Cerberus rush at Lockjaw. The battle of the dogs ensues. Lockjaw teleports behind Underdog and bites him in half. As Lockjaw is about to teleport again, Cerberus uses his ring to encase the Inhuman mutt in a red lantern ring case. The case quickly closes around Lockjaw, who is unable to move, or teleport. Captain Rex fires repeatedly at Lockjaw and kills the dog. Captain Rex is whisked away by Cerberus.

The Heroes’ crew comes together- Matt Parkman, Hiro Nakamura, Claire Bennett, Tracy Strauss, The Haitian, Peter Petrelli and Sylar. They focus on the Ben 10 Alien Force. Gwen Tennyson uses her energy manipulation abilities to blast Claire Bennett. Seeing his niece “die,” Peter Petrelli races at Gwen. Ben Tennyson uses the Omnitrix to gain alien powers which he uses in his struggle with Sylar. Kevin uses his abilities to battle Tracy Strauss. Hiro Nakamura blinks and travels in time to the beginning of the battle. He moves the Ben 10 Force around so that his teammates have the advantage in their respective fights. When he blinks again, Gwen is killed by Peter Petrelli, Ben is killed by Sylar and Kevin is killed by Tracy Strauss.

Spider-boy in Spider Man's helicopter, Falco in Tiger Heli, Mara Jade in Tiger Heli Helper #1 and Robin in Tiger Heli Helper #2 attack the Heroes. Mara Jade lands her Heli Helper and with her lightsaber in tow slices through both Hiro Nakamura and Parkman. Robin jumps out of his Heli Helper and kills the Haitian. Robin does not see Strauss creep from behind and touch him. Robin’s acrobatics manage to save him, but he loses his arm in the process. Even without an arm, he manages to kill Strauss. Spider-boy leaps from his helicopter and pummels Claire Bennett. Both Spider-boy, Jade and Robin rip the cheerleader apart. Jade uses the Force to scatter her tattered body parts across the field so she has no chance to regenerate. As both Jade and Robin enter into their Heli Helpers, the Matrix Twins phase into their seats. Both Mara Jade and Robin look down to see lightsabers jutting from their bellies. The two crumple and are thrown from the Helpers to the ground below. The Matrix Twins navigate the Helpers away. Falco focuses on the Matrix Twins. The Twins are in their corporeal forms while they fly their crafts. The superior piloting skills of Falco enables him to blast them both out of the sky. Petrelli flies Sylar next to Falco. With one swoop of his finger, Sylar slices Falco’s neck; both Falco and his craft crash. Meanwhile, Spider-boy jumps in his helicopter and follows the duo.

Blade looks at Dark Jedi Masters #27A-31A.

Blade: You're not immortal. I musta heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.

The battle rages as Dark Jedi Master #30A is killed by Blade. Blade is then joined by Ultra Boy, Iron Monger and Cyborg Superman. Ultra Boy is killed by Dark Jedi Masters #28A and 29A. Iron Monger destroys Dark Jedi Master #27A. Cyborg Superman and Iron Monger kill the remaining Dark Jedi Masters. Cyborg Superman flies away as the skirmish appears to be done. As CS flies away, Blade and Iron Monger are unexpectedly met by the Inhumans- Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton, Karnak, Gorgon, Crystal and Maximus the Mad. Blade manages to kill Karnak, but is killed by a triton carried by Triton. Iron Monger destroys Crystal. Maximus the Mad uses his mind control ability to get into Iron Monger’s head and flies him into the ground. Medusa’s hair envelops Iron Monger and Gorgon stomps on Iron Monger’s helmet, crushing the helmet and skull of Stane.

Cyborg in an ornithopter and Spider-boy in Spider Man's helicopter fly toward the battle. Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur greet the two and destroy the vehicles and their riders.

Dr. Doomsday, Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton, Gorgon, Maximus the Mad, Peter Petrelli and Sylar face Cyborg Superman, Hancock, Cerberus, Captain Rex and Abin Sur. Dr. Doomsday uses his amalgamated powers to crush Cyborg Superman. Hancock faces both Petrelli and Sylar. The now-sober superhero easily dispatches with both. Maximus the Mad takes hold of Hancock’s mind. Hancock turns on his own teammates and battles Cerberus and Captain Rex. Rex is killed by Hancock, but Hancock succumbs to both Abin Sur and Cerberus.

Dr. Doomsday, Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton, Gorgon and Maximus the Mad focus on Abin Sur and Cerberus. Although Cerberus and Sur manage to kill Medusa and Triton, the remaining Kennelz kill both Abomitron lanterns.

The Kennelz: Dr. Doomsday, Black Bolt, Gorgon and Maximus the Mad survive.

The Abomitrons: All dead.

MICHAEL VICKZ BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!!