The Untouchables Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches

The Untouchables are Franklin Richards, She-Ra w/ Swift Wind, Madam Razz & Broom, The Pretender Monsters: Birdbrain, Scowl, Bristleback, Icepick, Slog, & Wildfly, The Legion of Super-Heroes: Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, & Brainiac 5, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull (w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring), The Punisher, James Bond, Prof. McGonagall, Pyro, The Protectobots: Hotspot, First Aid, Grooves, Blades, & Streetwise, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Kickback, & Shrapnel, MacGyver (w/ a Red Lightsaber), Red Lantern Guy Gardner, Kimura, Maestro, & Private Ryan.

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Darth Vader, Darth Talan, Jeer Dexton, Carnage, Dark Phoenix, Dracula, Holocaust, Mogo, Ranx: The Sentient City, Magog (w/ a green lantern ring), Orion, Red Hulk, Yendar Platis, & Wolverine.


We see some familiar, yet not so familiar faces in the line-up this week for The Backyardigans, and we see an Untouchable squad that looks and feels just slightly decimated after last week’s big upset over their old-time rival and division winner The Kennelz. The Untouchables have placed themselves strategically around the play-off planet, but The Backyardigans, with their very outnumbered team are all centrally located in the city region, which lies right at the planet’s equator. Even Mogo and Ranx just loom right outside the atmosphere of the planet, as they patiently wait for The Untouchables to make the first move. As mentioned before, The Backyardigans have started many of their old standards that we haven’t seen much of this season, while many of The Untouchables big stars gave the ultimate sacrifice to get their first ever play-off win. Many of The Backyardigans grow impatient as they merely sit by and wait but Lord Vader insists that they hold to the plan: “As an old comrade once told me: We only need to keep them from escaping”. Vader says to calm his troops and to reinforce his command over them. Going completely unnoticed, Guy Gardner does a fly by over The Backyardigans and then flies back to Brainiac 5 to report. “They aren’t gonna move Brainiac, I don’t think they are ever going to spilt up into the other settings like we had hoped. I say you let me lead an elite force and we see what damage we can inflict. Then we draw them out into the other areas like we had planned”. Brainiac 5 responds with: “I respect your enthusiasm Guy, but if you go in with only a fraction of our team against the squad that they sent out today, then you are going to get wasted and then we will be down some of our best players. On the other hand, you are right and I agree that Vader is never going to move his troops in an offensive posture. I think it is time for an all out offensive on our part”. “That’s what I’m talkin about” responds Guy Gardner and Lightning Lad simultaneously. With this conversation completed, Brainiac 5 orders an all out strike, from all angles on The Backyardigan front. Brainiac 5 speaks to the troops thru a telepathic link, using Franklin Richards as a vessel for the information delivery. “Have no illusions about what team we are going up against, but if we execute this attack with the right timing, then we may be able to take them down and advance to the next round, but it is going to have to take a perfect performance from all you. Now good luck”. The Untouchables rush in from all sides in an attempt to swarm The Backyardigans and to trap them within the boundaries of the 2 large skyscrapers that they are residing between, but keep in mind that this is exactly what Lord Vader was waiting for. As The Untouchables approach Dark Phoenix rises up into the air and releases a portion of the Phoenix force from her body. In doing so she rips apart several of the nearby buildings creating a much more open area for the battle to take place in. “Stay focused friends, the open area only helps our team’s larger numbers”. The Sorceress reminds her fellow Untouchables. But this blast from Dark Phoenix does more than just destroy buildings; it also completely wipes out Bouncing Boy, all 3 copies of Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, and Private Ryan. As well as knocking Swiftwind out from underneath She-Ra and Madam Razz off of Broom killing them both and with a more calculated move destroying Brainiac 5 with a mind block in an attempt to send The Untouchables in to a state of disarray by killing their leader. Wolverine catches a few stray bullets from Punisher’s .45’s, but he keeps moving at the powerless super-hero and disembowels him. Wolverine then catches a glimpse of Kimura out of the corner of his eye and moves towards her. Wolverine says: “I hear you’ve been not so nice to my daughter over the years, why don’t you try some of that out on me”. “Gladly” Kimura replies. With this being said the 2 attack each other fiercely and a pitched battle ensues (an ode to Ryan’s ode to Beckerman). Kimura puts up a fairly decent fight against Logan, but in the end there is only one person who is the best at what Wolverine does (much to the dismay of Marvel who would love to duplicate his sales). She-Ra, now on foot is followed by Broom in the air, as they square off against Dracula, while Red Hulk begins viciously brawling with Maestro. MacGyver uses some scraps from the destroyed buildings to put together a jet pack atom bomb delivery system that only James Bond could possibly work, but before hey can complete the hand-off they are run thru by the combo of Jeer Dexton and Magog. Prof. McGonagall tries some attack spells out for size, but Darth Talan is able to leap out of the way of his attacks and then finish him with a crimson lightsaber to the throat. Pyro is battling Yendar Platis, and has almost overpowered his 6 lightsabers with his flame-throwers, but just before he accomplishes his task Carnage comes up from behind him and engulfs the mutant in his symbiote suit before he crushes his skull. Dark Phoenix retreats back to the clouds, but Guy Gardner leads Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Monstructor, Defensor (encased in green energy for the ride up), and all 3 Insecticons against Dark Phoenix, Mogo, & Ranx. “We gotta take out the big boys if we’re gonna finish this party”. Gardner says as they race toward the skies. Whether it be from exhaustion or apathy is unclear, but Dark Phoenix falls back further as Gardner Guard’s (that’s what he’s calling them all of the sudden) charge their position. The Protectobots, Insecticons, and Pretender Monsters land directly on the surface of Ranx and begin destroying everything in sight. Ranx fights back using his industry laden surface to engulf Monstructor and eventually destroy all 6 of his sparks with a bombardment of killer machinery; while Mogo, who doesn’t seem to mind that his actions may be hurting his “friend” Ranx sends an enormous blast of green energy onto the surface of Ranx which Defensor is unable to defend against. Ranx begins to release a strange bellow from within as The Insecticons vigorously chew at a central part of the city. “We don’t need Brainiac here to tell us that whatever those crazy Decepticons are doing is hurting him”. Gardner yells to the remaining members of The Legion of Super-Heroes as they rush to join Bombshell and the boys in being an instrument of destruction. Gardner orders the Insecticons to keep ripping away at Ranx as fast as they can while Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, & Phantom Girl focus all of their energies on the Sentient City as well. Ranx is much weakened by these attacks, but he focuses what yellow energy he can on the 3 original threats. One by one Ranx destroys the Insecticons, but not before they create an enormous hole in the center of the universe’s biggest yellow lantern. With this task completed, an enraged Guy Gardner orders the Legion to stand back as he creates 2 enormous energy constructs. He then crashes both a red and green missile down the hole created by The Insecticons and takes out Ranx. What’s left of The Legion then gather around Gardner, and they waste no time moving against Mogo to try and start the process over again. Back on the surface The Sorceress uses her own powers combined with that of her new Indigo Lantern ring on Holocaust, but once the mutant is joined by the unlikely partner of Orion, she is defeated by their combined skills of energy manipulation and projection. The Sorceress has done much to comfort Franklin Richards after the death of his parents last week, and many in the Untouchables front office were unsure if he were ready to compete this week after such a loss, but the normally mild-mannered young man is sent over the edge with this act of ferocity by The Backyardigans. Franklin knocks Orion to the ground by a mere thought and then uses his own brain to simply shut off the mind of Holocaust. Dracula swipes at Broom with his nails causing a sharp edge in the living cleaning supply and then gains the upper hand in his fight against She-Ra, especially once Darth Talan comes to his aid. Dracula seems enlightened by this victory, but then the opponent which he had paid little attention to attacks once more. Broom, in a last ditch effort uses itself as a stake and goes directly thru the heart of Dracula. Darth Talan reacts quickly and cuts Broom in half with her lightsaber, but not before Broom kills the mighty Dracula. An exhausted Red Hulk is finally able to gain the upper hand over Maestro who are now fighting in the arctic region after knocking each other miles away with several of their hits. Red Hulk is barely able to muster the strength as he stands over Maestro with a glacier in his hands and rams it thru the face of the older version of his old enemy. Guy Gardner and The Legion burst thru the atmosphere of Mogo and begin attacking everything in sight with everything they have. Gardner is ready to execute a similar scheme as their Ranx plan despite having less help, but as he turns to bark an order he realizes that Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, & Phantom Girl were not able to break thru the green energy defenses of Mogo like he was. Guy Gardner, in a last ditch effort summons the power to create 2 missiles 3 times the size of the red and green energy projectiles he used to kill Ranx. Gardner is focusing his power on the attack, when Mogo uses his own skills to pull the red energy from the body of Gardner like he has before. Only this time Mogo does not do this slowly and carefully but in a single instant which sends Guy’s body in to complete withdrawal and leaves his lifeless body on the surface of Mogo. Franklin Richards is moving towards the fallen Orion about to execute a mental attack when Darth Vader uses the force to block Franklin’s telepathic powers from knowing of his attack. The Dark Lord of the Sith then moves with amazing agility to decapitate Richards before he can do any more damage. “Nicely done boys” Wolverine says as he helps up Orion. “Who do you think are next opponent will be Lord Vader.... TEAM or The Horsemen”? Darth Talan asks of her master. “Don’t care, they don‘t stand a chance” Wolverine says with an interruption. But Vader answers his apprentice with: “I just wish we could fight them both”.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGAN’S: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE TO THE AMERICAN LEAGUE FINALS!