Season Three: Week 9: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

The Midgets are Stilgar, Fremen #52-56, Balrog #3, Troll #1, Hobbit #1 on Pony #1, Jawa #11 on Pony #2, Nick Nack on Pony #3, The NCIS Crew: Gibbs, DiNozzo, Mcgee, & Kate, Dark Side Acolyte #1-3, Dark Side Adept #1-3, Shia LaBeouf, Noa & Teak, Ewok Baby #1 & 2, Silver Dragon #16, Dragon #1, Star Sapphire #1, & Little Goomba #64.

The Murderflies are Sandworm #1-5, Marines #10-35, & Jawa #1.


Stilgar and the Fremen’s (coming this fall to CBS) knew that this match was going to be nearly impossible to win. They knew the strength of these worms and despite their vast knowledge of the creatures; they still didn’t have a real good way of killing one. With that being said though, they were not going to stop fighting until either them or the worms were dead.

Stilgar: “Midgets, we may not be the most powerful team this week…”

Shia LaBeouf (Interrupting): “Or any week.”

Stilgar: “Excuse me junior, do you have something to say? Perhaps you would like to say a few words before we go into battle. It’s obvious that whatever it is that you have to say is vastly more important then what I am saying up here now.”

Shia LaBeouf: “Well thanks Stilgar, I do actually.”

Stilgar stands there stunned, as he didn’t actually think the young actor was really going to have something to say.

Shia LaBeouf: “I just wanted to say that our team has played way under our abilities all season. I mean, we are playing “The Murderflies” this week and we are by far the underdogs in this match.”

Gibbs: “The Murderflies have a fine team this year kid.”

Shia LaBeouf: “Fine team my a$$. The fact that they are making the playoffs this year should show us how week the NL actually is. Which brings me to another point. I would like to voice my disappointment in the matches this year as well. I wasn’t going to say anything, but now I feel like I can’t keep my mouth shut on the subject.”

Kate: “Oh god, someone please just kill me again already.”

Shia LaBeouf: "I feel like The Watchers have dropped the ball on the legacy of this league that people have loved and cherished. You get into Lantern Rings and things like that and you can blame it on the characters and you can blame it on terrain’s, but the Watcher’s job is to make it come alive and make it work, and they haven’t been doing it lately. So that's their fault. Simple.”

DiNozzo: “What the hell is this kid talking about?”

Gibbs: “I have no idea. (Shouting) Hey kid, you mind if we start fighting this match now or would you like us to lavish more attention on to you before we get started.”

Shia LaBeouf: “Whatever Gibbs, go back to your stupid little television series already. I left that sh$% behind when I was still a kid.”

Gibbs: “That’s great, now get you’re a$$ on that Silver Dragon and get up in the air (Under his breathe) Where I can’t hear you.”

Shia finally stops talking and hops on his dragon and leaves the ground behind. Everyone on the Midgets forms numerous small groups, as they do not want too many people together in case of a worm attack.

The Murderflies Marines are in two groups of thirteen as they are spreading out in different directions looking for their enemies. Jawa #1 is riding on the back of Marine #19, who is lagging behind due to the added weight on his back. The First group of Marines meet up with the NCIS crew and Troll #1. The Fight is fierce and ugly but the only ones to make it out of the fight alive are Troll #1 and Gibbs. Gibbs, who has once again had to see Kate die is more pissed then usual as he walks over to the dead body of Marine #12 and proceeds to kick him in the chest a couple more times. Marines #10-18 and 32-35 are now dead.

Noa & Teak who are riding on Dragon #1 signal down to the Dark Side Acolytes that they can see the remaining Marines. The Acolytes and the Dark Side Adepts get the message and split up as to attack them from every direction. The Adepts and Acolytes successfully engage the Marines and easily take care of them, only losing Acolyte #3 and Adept #2. The only Marine that is still alive is Marine #19, who still has the Jawa on his back. The Marine is surrounded by enemies and decides the only choice he has is to drop the Jawa and try to shoot as many people as he can. As soon as he throws the Jawa to the ground, he is met with great anger from the Acolytes.

DS Adept #1: “How dare you treat a Jawa like that, you will pay for indiscretion.”

Marine #19: “Screw you pal.”

Marine #19 unloads his gun, alas to no avail as the combined forces of DS Adept #3 and DS Acolyte #1 and 2 quickly kill him. The DS Adepts and Acolytes are friends of the Jawas, as they have always been able to deliver them with whatever illegal goods they have wanted. DS Adept #1 goes down to pick up the small creature when the Jawa pulls out a blaster and shoots the dark sided creature directly in the face, killing him. Though the Jawa is pleased with his kill, he is soon torn to shreds by the three remaining Midget characters.
This only leaves the Sandworms left for the “Murderflies”, but as the Midgets knew from the start, it may be all that they need to pull this off. The Sandworms had thus far been quiet, but that soon ended as Nick Nack who was on Pony #3 was racing through the desert making far too much noise. That noise soon brought along with it a great tremor in the sand and after a minute or so Sandworm #3 rose from the desert floor and consumed Hobbit #1, Jawa #11, Nick Nack and both Ewok babies #1 and 2. The three ponies that were being ridden by the Midgets members (uh uh, midget members) also perished in the Sandworm attack.

Which is so terrible, it’s just so sad when animals have to die such a horrible death. I mean, humans are just terrible creatures to begin with so screw them. Animals on the other hand deserve only the best. That is why we must protect them with all of our power.
-The following Message has been brought to you by PETA.

Shia sees this tragedy take place and knows he needs to do something about it. He flies over to Star Sapphire #1 and tells her that the two of them need to find a way to kill one of these beasts. The Star Sapphire has no idea what she thinks Shia can do about this, but she decides to go along with him anyway as she doesn’t have a better plan herself.

SS#1: “Seriously though, what makes you think you can do this.”

Shia: “Look, I killed Megatron once, so some stupid earth worm isn’t going to be able to stop me.”

SS#1: “Yeah, okay. I guess here I go.”

The plan is for the SS to try and contain one of the worms in an energy field for just a minute or so, long enough for Shia to fly down to the ground and make as much noise as could to attract the attention of another Sandworm. The SS focused all of her power on Sandworm #3 and though it was incredibly difficult, she was actually able to do it. Shia then flew down to the ground and between him and his dragon made as much noise as they could to attract another worms attention.

After thirty seconds or so the ground began to shake and Shia jumped back on his dragon and flew back up into the Egyptian sky. Sure enough, Sandworm #5 can crashing out from under the desert floor and just as Shia had planned it, collided with the still under the SS influence Sandworm #3. Sandworm #5’s collision along with the energy from the SS created such a violent combination that both Sandworms now lay unconscious on the ground not moving.

Stilgar: “He did it, the crazy son of b#$%h did it.”

Shia was now beside himself in selfish joy that he immediately flew over to the SS and told her to do it again. She of course told him to lay low for a minute and he naturally disagreed with that statement. After a one way screaming match with the volatile actor, the SS once again agreed to do the plan over again. Shia flew back down to the ground and started making as much noise as he could, this time to no avail. He did it for another minute or so but still nothing.

Stilgar: “There not coming kid, get back on your dragon and get the hell out of here.”

Shia: “No, I can do this. I did it once and I will do it again.”

Stilgar: “You got lucky once, don’t press your luck with these creatures. They always end up on the winning side.”

Shia: “That’s why I know it’s gonna work.”

Stilgar looked at his Fremen brothers and rolled his eyes at the stupid one liner. Then he noticed that the two unconscious Sandworms were starting to move once again. Stilgar once again tried to tell Shia to get out of there but he would still not listen to the fierce fighter. Shia repeatedly stomped on the ground and despite his orders, the Star Sapphire was now down on the ground with LaBeouf trying to convince him to stop.

SS #1: “We need to get out of here.”

Shia: “I got this, just keep to the plan.”

SS #1: “The worms are awake again, the plan didn’t work.”

Shia: “If we can get one more up here we can…”

SS #1: “All die, that’s what will happen. Now get back on your dragon and let’s get the hell out of here.”

Shia: “Fine, let me just try one more thing…”

Before Shia could even finish this sentence the ground began to shake so violently that neither he nor the Star Sapphire were able to gain any semblance of balance. The Star Sapphire tried to take off but due to her disorientation, she flew directly into the side of Sandworm #3. She hit the worm with such velocity that it knocked her out. Shia was now choking to death due to all the sand that he had swallowed. The desert was now a whirlpool due to all the commotion that the young actor had been making. So much commotion in fact that now all five Sandworms were out in the match, all ready to attack anything they saw.

Shia and his dragon were already close to death anyways, but Sandworm #4 made it a fact as it sucked them into its fiery mouth. The same went for the Star Sapphire, who never woke up again. Stilgar and the Fremen were now all running as fast as they could to get away from the creatures but despite their abilities in the desert, they were no match for Sandworm #1.

The next to go was Gibbs and Troll #1, who had been a little to close to joining up with Stilgar and the Fremen and were also consumed by Sandworm #1. Next up was the Dark Side midget members who attempted to jump on top of Sandworm #4, but ended up like most people who attempt such a foolish move, dead. Balrog #3, who stepped on Little Goomba #64 on his way over to fight Sandworm #3, was able to get a few hits in on the massive creature. The Sandworm was still a little groggy from Shia’s move earilier but once it got its wits about him again, he was able to destroy the hell-fired beast.

This only left Noa & Teak, who had no plan’s of trying to fight Shai-Hulud. Instead, they decided to just chill on top of a Pyramid and waited for the match to end. Which didn’t come for a while of course, but after several hours of waiting in the hot desert sun, they were back at their team headquarters just thanking “Old Father Eternity” that the match was finally over with.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Noa, Teak and Silver Dragon #16 are alive.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: Sandworms #1-5 all alive.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Victorious!!!