Breaking News!

Greetings loyal neuve sports fanatics, I'm ESPN 9 special correspondent nude Teri Hatcher with...*sigh* a breaking nudesflash. We here at nueve sports have just received footage from the Event Horizon's black boxes showing exactly what transpired about the doomed vessel. Take a look.

"NA NA NA NANA NA. NUHNUHNUHNUH NA NAAAAAA. NA NA NANA NA NA NUTBUSTERS!!!! HAHA. Get it guys??!!! That can be our rally song! I just replaced the word 'ghost' with 'nut' since our team name is the Nut-Busters!!! So, we're like as cool as the Ghostbusters cause our song is like their song!!! Get it??!!! NA NA NA NANA NA. NUHNUHNUHNUH NA NAAAAAA...." sings the Annoying Orange

" 'Es been singing dat song for de last FOUR. HOURS. Can nobody shut em up?" Gambit asks the rest of his team. "Elf, you get any luck openin' dat door on de udder side?"

"None, Gambit." replies AoA Nightcrawler. We're totally sealed in. I don't know what caused that door to slam shut, but I can get any of the controls to respond. We're pretty much trapped"

"Heh heh. Hey guys!" the Orange interrupts "Hey. Hey. HEY. Hey. Did you see Dos get cut in half by the airlock door as it came down? Do we call him Quatro now? Cause, there's two of him now, and when there was one we called him Dos. But there's two of him down, and if you double two you get four, and four in Spanish is..."

"ENOUGH!" screams Dexter Morgan, letting his mask of calm, cool collectedness slip.  Dexter whips out his favorite knife and plunges it into the Orange, cutting him in two.

"Thank God!" exclaims Alexandra DeWitt " I don't know how much more I could...Oh. My. GOD!!!"

Alex discovers, to the horror of the crew that cutting the Orange in half didn't kill him. It only created TWO of him.

"Heh. Whoa. Looks like I'm the new Dos around here." the Orange says "I'm really beside myself here. Get it? Cause there's two of me now?"

"Haha. I get it!" replies his other half "There's two parts of you, and their beside eachother. So, you're beside yourself. That's hilarious. Hahaha."

"Yeah. Wanna hear anot-"


*kkssshhhhh*

Ok, sorry folks. Nude Teri Hatcher, back again, but I can't take anymore of that Annoying Orange. We all know what ends up happening anyway. I'm being told the tape goes on for another 2 hours, and it's all the Orange with his terrible, awful jokes and joke explainations. It sounds to this reporter like death ended up being a blessing for the Nut-Busters. No one should have to endure the level of torture the Annoying Orange inflicts on people.

This has been an ESPN 9 breaking nudesflash, I'm nude Teri Hatcher. We now return you to synchronized crochet.