Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Brigade is Fox, Namora, Namorita, Skeletor's Crack Troop #1, Jaws, Jaws 2, Aquagirl, Killer Shark, Wonder Woman, Morpheus, Alan Scott, Man at Arms & Teela, The Lochness Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9 (4 & 5 have 9 deaths), Storm Trooper #51-62, Leia Organa-Solo: Jedi, Power Girl, Guy Gardner (w/ yellow power ring), Batgirl, Darth Nihilus, Lara Croft, Jedi Knight #23A-28A, Atreides Soldier #1 & 2, Grape Ape, Spider Girl, Red Lantern #3, Metallo, Nightstar, (Kingdom Come) Flash, Dr. Juliet Burke, & Desmond Hume.
The Valley is Decepticon #1-3, Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue light saber) & Kister in Gas Gasgano's pod, Knuckles (w/ a red light saber), Splinter, Leonardo, Venus Demilo, Doogle & Billy Mays in a Hovercraft, Gremlin #1 & 2, Xenomorph #94-100 (#94 has 9 deaths), Toxic Avenger, Little Goomba #6-29, Kree Soldier #1-6, Treasure Troll #27, Scooter, Guille, Bucky O'Hare, Deadeye Duck, Bruiser, Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, & AFC Blinkie, Boomerang Bros. #1-6, Hammer Bros. #3-8, Fire Bros. #4-9, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-6, Rayden & Kid Thunder, Sub-Zero, Mr. Game & Watch, Shang Tsung, Rayne, Wonder Boy, Baby Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Wald, Beavis & Butthead w/ Buttchunk, Wingnut & Screwloose, Robocop, Godzooky, Navy Sailor #60-93, Teddy Boy, Critters #1-12, & Moritani Soldier #1-12.
This match takes place between the hours of 11pm and 12am…
Previously on FFL
Wonder Woman standing in front of her troops.
Wonder Woman: “This won’t be a battle so much as it will be a slaughter.”
Shot of Wonder Woman talking to the three Sharks.
Wonder Woman: “I hope you’re hungry, because it’s dinner time.”
Jaws, Jaws 2 and Killer Shark devour Navy Soldier’s #60-93.
Leonardo and Splinter are in the water talking to each other.
Leonardo: “Master, this match is a blood bath. What are we going to do?”
Splinter: “Do what we do best, persevere.”
Guy Gardner and Alan Scott are flying above a group of Valley fighters.
Guy Gardner: “You ready Alan?”
Alan Scott: “Let’s do this.”
Guy and Alan create a huge energy bubble around Xenomorph’s #94-100, Kree Soldier’s #1-6 and Wonder Boy and send it down to the bottom of the ocean, where they eventually drown.
A shot of Moritani Soldier’s killing Dr. Juliet Burke and Desmond Hume.
Moritani Soldier #3: “Hey Desmond, I bet you never saw this coming.”
Grape Ape is struggling to stay afloat in the water and right before he drowns, he takes Giant Hammer Brother #1 with him to his death.
Anakin and Kister in Gasgano’s podracer.
Kister: “This is so not wizard Ani.”
Anakin: “Don’t give up.”
Kister: “I won’t, but it doesn’t seem like we are going to finish this one.”
Namora looking at the legion of Valley soldier’s coming towards her.
Namora: “This is the final push Brigade, I hope you are all ready for this.”
Namorita: “Ready for this, this is all I’ve ever wanted.”
The Podracer, Billy Mays and Doogle in the hovercraft, the Bucky O’Hare crew, the Giant Hammer Brothers, Godzooky, Decepticon’s #1-3, Scooter, Robo Cop, Critter’s #1-12 and Moritani Soldiers #1-12 are all racing towards the Brigade on an ever-expanding sheet of ice being created by Sub-Zero.
The Syracuse Valley: “Attackkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!”
Power Girl: “Let’s end this now”
Cut to black.
11:01pm
Wingnut and Screwloose are flying up above the match. The night is dark and the moon is shining down upon the battle. They are witnessing the destruction of their team. They are both considering whether or not to intervene in the fight, but before they can do anything, they are vaporized by Nightstar’s starbolts.
Rayden and Kid Thunder are greatly angered by the way this match has been going. In one of the Valley’s few offensive moves of the match, they both send deadly bolts of lighting down into the water. The bolts land directly on Man at Arms and Teela, killing them instantly. The residual electricity also kills Lara Croft and Fox and seriously injures Spider Girl.
Wonder Woman flies over to Spider Girl and brings her to Guy Gardner, who protects her with an energy force field.
Wonder Woman: “Take care her Guy. I’ll take care of the weather men.”
Wonder Woman immediately flies over to Rayden and Kid Thunder, but before she is able to kill them, they send a lightening strike down upon her, knocking her into the water. As Rayden and Kid Thunder boast to each other about their god-like powers, Power Girl comes crashing down on top of the two valley members, sending them deep down into the depths of the ocean. Once Power Girl brings them down to a certain point, she leaves them to fend for themselves. Rayden and Kid Thunder struggle to get back up to the surface, but before they are able to do so, the Lochness Monster attacks them both from below. It isn’t long before they are both torn to shreds.
11:12pm
Namora and Namorita are ready for the Valley’s big push. The Valley has the strength in numbers and are all beyond stoked for this fight. They get even more excited when they see Namorita leave Namora and head down below into the water.
Kister: “She left, now it’s one against hundred Ani.”
Anakin: “I like these odds Kister.”
By this time the Bucky O’Hare crew has already begun firing upon Namora, who is easily evading the blasts. The Giant Hammer brothers are directly on top of Namora, when the ice platform that they are all standing on suddenly begins to break apart due to the fact that Namorita has burst through the ice from below. The ice platform completely shatter’s, sending the non-vehicled members of the Valley down into the water. Namora makes easy work of Critter #1-12, while Namorita takes care of the Moritani soldiers. Godzooky tries to fly away, but he is unable to take flight as the combination of his weight and the water make it impossible.
Billy Mays wades his way through the now icy waters and tries to pick up Bucky O’Hare and his friends. Mays is able to get the majority of the Bucky crew onto the hovercraft, but it is a futile effort as they are all overpowered by the combined efforts of Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl. The Giant Hammer Brother’s #2-6 are never able to regain their balance in the water due to their extreme size as they all drown. Robocop quickly followed suit as he short-circuited and died as soon as he hit the water. Decepticons #1-3 were already transformed into water vehicles, so they were able to survive the ice explosion. They would soon find out that the powers of Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl were far greater then even they could handle, as they were all destroyed in unison from a blast that originated from the power of the Red Lantern’s ring.
11:25pm
At this time Guy Gardner, Alan Scott and Wonder Woman are flying around picking off their enemies one by one. Guy Gardner sends bolts of energy down upon Splinter, Leonardo and Venus Demilo, destroying them instantly. Alan Scott brings the same destructive power down upon the Boomerang Brothers, the Hammer Brothers and the Fire Brothers; killing them all. Wonder Woman also has no trouble-overpowering Gremlin #1 & 2, the Toxic Avenger, Treasure Troll #27 and Little Goomba’s #6-29. Power Girl soon joined up with them, taking care of Scooter and Buttchunk.
During this time, Sub-Zero has been busy building vast ice walls around his remaining team members in an attempt to give at least a minor amount of protection. He has successfully shielded Shang Tsung, Baby Nightcrawler, Knuckles, Guile, Teddy Boy, Rayne, Wald and Beavis and Butthead in an ice enclosure. Wonder Woman was determined to make this ice castle a waste of time, but before she could do anything about it, an ominous black presence from below began to surface.
The four super powered Brigade members got ready for an attack, when out of nowhere, the black presence completely swallowed up Power Girl. Guy, Alan and Wonder Woman instantly began firing upon the dark being. At first it seemed not to do anything, but once all three of them really started hammering down upon it, it started to crack and eventually broke apart. The black presence turned out to be Mr. Game and Watch. A powerfully vague but now dead creature. Power Girl appeared to come out of this unharmed, as she flew back up to meet with her teammates.
Power Girl: “Thanks you guys. If you don’t mind, I think I am going to go back with the others and see if they need any help.”
Guy Gardner: “Great idea. We can take care of this.”
Power Girl then took off and headed back to the rest of the Brigade. Then Guy Gardner and Alan Scott flew down to take care of the ice castle, while Wonder Woman flew down to battle Sub-Zero. As Guy and Alan landed on top of the castle, they blasted a hole directly in the ceiling, but what they found inside what not what they expected. Instead of finding the remaining Valley members, all they found was Beavis and Butthead and Teddy Boy.
Butthead: “Huhhh, hey Beavis, that green dudes pants are really tight.”
Beavis: “Yeah, yeah. You can kind of see his thing.”
Butthead: “Yeah, it’s like, how do you hide a boner with in those.”
Beavis: “Umm, yeah. You said boner.”
Butthead: “Yeah, huh huh huh.”
Teddy Boy: “Shut up you guys, (looking up at the Lanterns) would you just kill us already.”
Alan and Guy: “Gladly.”
Alan and Guy both sent blast’s down inside the castle, killing all three of them. Then they both looked at each other and said, “Huh”.
Guy: “I think we might be in trouble.”
Alan: “Yeah, let’s head back to base.”
Guy: “Diana, you done with him yet?”
Wonder Woman: “Just a second.”
As she says this, she takes Sub-Zero’s head and in one fluent motion, snaps his neck.
Wonder Woman: “Yeah, what’s up?”
Guy: “Nobody’s in here. I think something is up, let’s head back to camp.”
Wonder Woman: “What do you mean nobodies…”
Just as she says this, she gets a message from the Flash. Even though she cannot see him, she can hear what he is telling her.
Wonder Woman: “We need to head back to camp right now, something terrible is happening and I think we are the only one’s who can stop it.”
11:28pm
Back at the Brigade’s base camp, Power Girl rushes up on the dozens of her team members who have yet to even join the fight. The many brigade members were all able to be out of the water due to the huge platforms that both Guy Gardner and Alan Scott were able to create via their rings.
Power Girl: “It’s almost done, there is only one thing left that we need to worry about.”
Batgirl: “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
Power Girl: “Me”
As she says this, she blasts Batgirl a hundred feet into the air, killing her instantly. She then sends the energy bubbled Spider-Girl down into the water, eventually killing her. She then beats the Atreides Soldier’s to death with her fists and takes Skeletor’s Crack Troop #1’s head clean off.
Leia Organa-Solo: “Kara, what are doing?”
Power Girl: “Ending this match. Oh and don’t call me Kara, the names T.J.”
Leia could obviously see that something was controlling Power Girl, which is why she quickly began to attempt communication with the Flash.
Leia Organa-Solo: “Quick guys, give me some protection.”
As soon as she said this, the Jedi Knight’s and Darth Nihilus put up a defense perimeter around her. Metallo also joined in, as he was really the only one who might be able to stop the super powered girl. Leia concentrated until she was in a deep trance, still barely able to communicate with the Flash.
Leia Organa-Solo: “If you can hear me, tell Diana that she needs to get back here immediately. Kara is no longer herself. This entire match depends on it.”
The Jedi’s, Sith and Metallo were able to keep Power Girl at bay, but as soon as they thought they had the upper hand, the remaining ice castle members appeared out of thin air. Knuckles ignited his red light saber and started to fight with Jedi Knight #23. The super speedy Knuckles is actually able to kill the Jedi Knight, but soon after that was slain in the back by Jedi Knight #24. Shang Tsung instantly took the form of Jedi Knight #23 and without them realizing it was their own teammate, killed Jedi Knight #27.
Guile tried to fight Darth Nihlus, but it was never even really a fight as the Sith Lord easily dispatched of the human.
Jedi Knight #24: “I don’t understand, how did they even get here.”
Darth Nihilus: “They transported here through that blue creature you fool. Now go and kill it.”
Jedi Knight #24: “But it’s only a child.”
Darth Nihilus: “Fine, be that way, Jedi.”
Darth Nihilus then sends a bolt of force lightening into the pint sized Nightcrawler, who instantly transports himself to the other side of the platform. The Sith Lord is now enraged and begins to run as fast as he can towards the mutant baby. The now coherent Leia gets up again and hopes that the Flash was able to get her message to Wonder Woman. She knows that they need them to take care of the Nocturne possessed Power Girl.
11:38pm
Meanwhile, Namora and Namorita have killed Godzooky, after waiting to see if he would drown on his own (he wouldn’t) and have decided they should probably go find Anakin and Kister. They know that they are not really a threat, but it is still a good idea to get rid of them. The two water queens along with Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl eventually catch up to the high velocity pod and each take turns dismantling the racer. It is only a matter of seconds before both Anakin and Kister are left floating in the water, with nothing but Anakin’s now waterlogged light saber to help defend them.
Anakin: “Kister, I have a bad feeling about this.”
Kister: “It’s not so much a feeling Ani, as it seems to be a guarantee.”
As Kister says his last words to his best friend, Namora takes them both under water, where they will never again breathe another breathe of Oxygen.
Though Metallo has been putting up a great fight against the Nocturne possessed Power Girl, in the end she is just too much for him as she sends his crumpled body to the ocean floor. Then Power Girl, along with the Jedi Master looking Shang Tsung, took care of the rest of the Jedi’s. Leia was now on her own and knew she was no match for Power Girl, Rayne and Shang Tsung. Being the fighter she was though, she took out her light saber and took on the three of them anyways. Though it was a valiant effort, Leia was overpowered by the fighters and fell to her death, via a blow to the throat from Power Girl.
11:45pm
Darth Nihilus was still trying to catch the mutant baby when he ran into Morpheus, who was with the Silver Dragon’s and the Storm Troopers.
Darth Nihilus: “Where have you fool’s been. We are being slaughtered over.”
Morpheus: “We were unaware. We will head out right away.”
Darth Nihilus: “A great help you’ve been this match.”
Darth Nihilus begins to run away again when Morpheus asks him where he is going.
Darth Nihilus: “I have to find and destroy that baby. It’s very important that he dies.”
Morpheus looks at the Sith Lord and all of a sudden doesn’t feel so bad about missing the fight thus far.
Power Girl, Shang Tsung and Rayne stood proudly over the dead body of Leia, proudly boasting to each other over their victory. Just then, Guy, Alan and Diana reached the platform and surrounded the last threatening members of the Syracuse Valley.
Wonder Woman: “I don’t know what you’ve done with Kara, but I am personally going to see to it that you will not be around long enough to explain it to me.”
An enraged Wonder Woman then flew directly into Power Girl and took their fight far up into the sky. As she did this, the remaining members of the Brigade reached the platform and after a minute or so, attacked and killed Shang Tsung, Rayne and Wald. Namorita took an old piece of a building from the water’s below and drove it through the chest of Rayne. She then tore her head off to make sure her death was eternal. Alan Scott knocked Wald into the water, where Killer Shark and Jaws 2 fought over the body. Shang Tsung wouldn’t go down so easily, but Guy Gardner was able to contain his Tsung’s powers and collapse an energy mass directly on top of him.
As Wonder Woman and Power Girl’s battle continued up in the sky, Wonder Woman only kept getting angrier and angrier.
Wonder Woman: “Just die you stupid b*#$%.”
Power Girl: “You can’t kill me Diana.”
Namora: “Maybe she can’t, but I’d love to give it a try.”
As Power Girl looked over at Namora’s diversion, Wonder Woman hit her with such force that it sent her plummeting to the ocean. Then with the combined efforts of both Wonder Woman and Namora, they sent her deep down into the water. At this point, Namorita took over for Wonder Woman and between the two super powered water women, they were able to finally defeat the Nocturne possessed Power Girl.
Wonder Woman then met up with Guy and Alan as they tried to calm her down.
Guy: “It’s alright Diana, it’s over with. We won.”
Alan: “Yeah, just settle down. The girl’s took take of her.”
Wonder Woman: “But she killed Kara and took over her body. It’s just sick.”
Alan: “I know it is. But the match is over with now, so let’s just head back to base.”
Wonder Woman: “Your wrong Alan, this match isn’t over with yet.”
11:54pm
Wonder Woman instantly takes off and heads towards Darth Nilihus who is still trying to kill baby Nightcrawler.
Wonder Woman: “I killed how many people today and you can’t even catch a baby.”
Wonder Woman then flies over to Baby Nightcrawler and snap’s his little neck.
Wonder Woman: “And you call yourself a Sith Lord. Thanks for the help today Darth, you really did a lot.”
A still angry Wonder Woman then flew away and met up with the rest of her team while a now pouting Darth Nilihus just stood over the dead body of the baby mutant, feeling like a failure in a match that saw his team finally returning to greatness.
11:59:58pm
11:59:59pm
12:00:00am
The Syracuse Valley: All Dead
Le’ Napoleon Brigade: Namora, Namorita, Jaws, Jaws 2, Aquagirl, Killer Shark, Wonder Woman, Morpheus, Alan Scott, The Lochness Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9, Storm Trooper #51-62, Guy Gardner (Yellow Ring), Darth Nilihus, Red Lantern #3, Nightstar and Kingdom Come Flash all survived.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade Is Victorious!!!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Team S.P. Vs. Oblivio
Team S.P. is Xenomorph #1-25, Black Manta, Namor & his Griffin, Mimic, Aspen, SHIELD Agent #1-6, Blockbuster, The Enchantress, Mastermind, Vision, Female Sentinel #1-4, Brainiac in a Swift Boat, Navy Sailor #1-13, & Marian Ravenwood.
Oblivio is Chucky (w/ a yellow power ring & red lightsaber), Darwin, Triton, The Tiger Sharks: Lorka, Mako, Walro, Dolph, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish, Dementor #10, Black Dragon #8, Krayt Dragon #5, Purple Dragon #21, Ace Duck, Griffin #17, The Secret Saturdays: Zak Saturday (w/ green lightsaber), Solomon "Doc" Saturday, Drew, Fiskerton, Komodo, Zon, & Doyle Blackwell (w/ a blue lightsaber), The Scarlet Spider, Heavy, The Brotherhood of Evil: The Brain, Monsieur Mallah, Gen. Immortus, Garguax, & Madam Rouge, Edward & Bella, Vampire #99, Space Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, Widget (w/ body), Predator #46, Orion, & Mr. Incredible.
As the match begins Brainiac speaks to his teammate of 3 years Namor and says: "I believe I will take point during this match, I have a plan that is fool proof, and my 12th level intellect is obviously required for a match of this size". “I say NAY” retorts the Sub-Mariner, “it is I who have led this team to victory in 7 straight water matches and it is I who will continue to carry that mantle”. This power struggle remains unresolved as Namor dives deep into the salty water of the post-apocalyptic earth, where he is followed by Black Manta, Aspen, & Mimic; who has taken the powers of Namor, Aspen, & Mastermind for the time being. Brainiac sits in the back of the Swift Boat, which is being driven by Navy Sailors #1-3, they are also joined by Marian & The Enchantress. Brainiac realizes that Namor is not going to listen to his commands, so he uses what he knows his deep-sea bound teammates are going to do in formulating his plan of attack. He orders the Sailor to turn the small vessel around and hang back while the “lesser” members of Team S.P. cause some bonus damage. Little does Brainiac know that Triton’s plan of action, is not to dissimilar. Triton is deep under the water himself with Darwin (who has grown gills and flippers) and The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph of course who is (Shocker) up at the top of the water getting air and reminding everyone that he is by far the most useless Tiger Shark). Triton says to Darwin that he realizes that despite their amazing individual power that their team is an underdog against the formidable Team S.P. squad and that if they are going to have a chance than they are going to have to win a war of attrition by letting their other teammates do as much damage as possible before the “true water powers” of the team show their faces. As the Oblivio crew moves in to attack, they are first met by Team S.P.’s Xenomorphs (just as Brainiac had planned). The large and powerful Xenomorphs move thru the water with a surprising amount of speed and grace. In the air, Oblivio has several combatants circling the water’s airspace, but Team S.P. has only Namor’s Griffin, who is being ridden by Mastermind and Vision who is flying around in his intangible state. We are assuming (just this once) for the sake of this match that the Krayt Dragon is like they were portrayed in the episode Robot Chicken, where they are sea dwelling creatures (and not giant desert creatures like they are typically portrayed). The giant Krayt Dragon leaps out of the water and comes down hard on 2 of the Aliens ripping them apart. Their acid blood barely slows down the massive creature, but the Krayt Dragon is eventually killed when the remaining 23 Xenomorphs rip the Tatooine bred monster to shreds. Dolph manages to kill a Xenomorph (fine I’ll give the guy a little credit since we are in a water match), but he is quickly torn apart by Xenomorph #3. Ace Duck is not only moving swiftly thru the water, but he is also using his laser gun to cap him sum Xenomorphs like it ain’t no thang. Ace Duck uses his gun to single-handedly kill 3 Aliens, and then kills one more with his bare ( well they’re still feathered) hands before he is sprayed by acid and brutally ripped apart. The Secret Saturdays (minus Doyle who is with the Oblivio air force due to his jet pack) fight valiantly even though they are a bit out of their element floating in the water. With their combined efforts are unable to take out more than just 5 Xenomorphs, before the are wasted as well. Heavy backs up The Scarlet Spider who takes out 2 Aliens plus Heavy’s one but they both succumb to the force of the perfect biological weapons as well. Edward takes out 2 while his long lost bitten brother from another human-vampire-uninfected mother takes out one before they are overcome by the Xenomorphs speed and ability to work as a unit, despite inferior intelligence. Predator #46 thinks to himself that it is supposed to be Alien Vs. Predator, not 10 Aliens Vs. Predator which definitely would make for a crappy movie, because it lasted about 10 seconds (or maybe some of you would have liked this version more: Your call). The Brain has combined his own intelligence with that of Mallahs & added the cunning military skills of Immortus and Garguax, to build a raft (yeah, that’s it a raft: what were you expecting a space ship? They’re smart but they don’t have much to work with here, give them a break). It is this raft that is keeping them away from the Xenomorph slaughter for the moment. The Xenomorphs are now circling in the water searching for more prey, when all of the sudden, Widget creates a portal, and from that portal appears Space Godzilla. Xenomorph #21 leaps out of the water and crushes Widget, but that was the last kill that they were credited with as Space Godzilla manages to use the element of surprise (and not to mention really big feet and cosmic fire breath) to take out the last 10 Aliens. The yellow lantern/evil doll known as Chucky leads the Oblivio air strike against Vision, Mastermind, & the Griffin. Mastermind uses his powers to take over whatever semblance of a mind Dementor #10 has and totally wipes it. But he is not Doyle Blackwell comes flying up in his jetpack, but Mastermind makes him turn the lightsaber on himself before he can cause any damage to Team S.P. Mastermind’s brief reign of terror comes to an end though, when Purple Dragon #21 flies over top of the Griifin and bites off Mastermind’s head. Griffin retaliates and goes in for the kill on the dragon, which he gets. Namor’s Griffin then attacks Griffin #17 and creates the same result, with Griffin #17’s large furry body falling to the salty waters below. It is unable to be known who would have come out on top of the battle between the Griffin and Black Dragon #8, because before the fight could be finished Chucky used an enormous yellow energy produced axe to cut them both in half. As a Watcher, I almost went against the rules and asked Chucky why he did this when it killed his own teammate as well, but Chucky was to busy maniacally laughing. The Brotherhood of Evil is traveling alongside Orion & Mr. Incredible on the where to Brainiac’s swift boat, while the 4 Sentinels, one of whom is carrying Blockbuster are flying in toward Space Godzilla & Jet Jaguar. Sentinel #2 throws Blockbuster at Jet Jaguar and Blockbuster grabs a hold of the Ultra Man rip-off/Godzilla BFF. The 2 of them begin pounding on each other with punches that could easily level buildings, but the 2 of them do not let up at all, even as they fall in to the water. Space Godzilla manages to take out Female Sentinel #1 & 3 with his cosmic fire breath, and then finishes off #4 with a haymaker that breaks the advanced Sentinel in 2. Jet Jaguar manages to finish off Blockbuster, but as he does he is caught with a barrage of firepower from Sentinel #2 which finishes the weakened Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar’s death is avenged very quickly by his best friend forever’s cosmic cousin only seconds after the fight. Vision is able to stay intangible while Chucky swings his red lightsaber thru the nothingness. Vision continues to stay intangible thru the yellow energy aura that Chucky’s ring is emanating as well, but he foregoes his intangibility for only a second and only in his hands which is what he uses to crush in Chucky’s little plastic head. The Brain is not outsmarted very often, but Brainiac is able to see the ace that is his intelligence and then trump it. The raft approaches Brainiac’s swift boat, but as it does The SHIELD Agents and Navy Sailors all rip off their snorkels and jump out of the water to defend their leader. As the agents and sailors execute their diversionary tactic, Enchantress takes over the minds of Mr. Incredible and Orion. She uses her feminine wiles to make them fight each other for her love. They both become so obsessed with both the fight and the prize that they drown while trying to win them both. Space Godzilla comes up from behind but Brainiac executes a fail safe that he secretly inserted in to Vision at the beginning of Season 1. Brainiac remotely takes over Vision’s mind and orders him to fly into Space Godzilla’s heart while in his intangible state. Vision then (unknowingly) turns his body into a substance as hard as diamond, killing both himself and Space Godzilla. The agents and sailors are dying quick but are serving their purpose as well. They manage to destroy the raft, kill Garguax and most importantly break open The Brain’s canister, before they are all killed. Mallah, Rouge, & Immortus are all aboard the cramped swift boat wreaking havoc. Brainiac rips Immortus’ head clean off while Madam Rouge easily takes out the 3 remaining Navy Sailors. Monsieur Mallah kills Enchantress with a swift kick to the head and then tries to crush Marian Ravenwood with his fists; but Marian dodges out of the way in the knick of time and sticks her saber into his back, piercing his heart. She is then strangled to death by Madam Rouge’s elasticized arms. Madam Rouge then moves even quicker than Brainiac can think as she trips him up with her stretched left arm and then brings her right leg down on his “big brained” head like it was an anvil, to finally kill the mighty Brainiac. Madam Rouge has little time to celebrate this victory as the swift boat is quickly capsized by the powers of Aspen. Rouge dies and Namor looks to Aspen and says: we should probably actually begin this battle now”. Namor, along with Black Manta, Mimic, & Aspen swim deep down into the ocean depths where they find Triton, Darwin, & The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph, but they are better off without him). Namor and Triton begin battling with each other and find that they are evenly matched. The 2 combatants are both in their prime environment and are showing it as this amazing battle takes place. Mimic battles with Darwin in a similar battle, while Black Manta and Aspen take on The Tiger Sharks. Black Manta and Aspen don’t work together very well, but it is well enough for them to meet each other in the middle of the small battle area after they have wiped out Lorka, Mako, Walro, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish. Darwin’s ability to adept to anything is more than just amazing, but Mimic has the ability to use a person’s own abilities against them. So not only is Mimic’s body adapting to the surroundings in the exact same way that Darwin’s is, he also retains the powers of Namor and Aspen as well, which are what he uses to kill Darwin. Triton may have had what it takes to kill Namor, but once The Sub-Mariner’s buddies come to lend him a hand, he just doesn’t have what it takes. Triton puts his 3 pronged weapon into the helmet of Black Manta, but that is the only one of the 3 he is able to make join him in death, as he is overwhelmed by Namor, Aspen, & Mimic.
TEAM S.P. IS VICTORIOUS!
Oblivio is Chucky (w/ a yellow power ring & red lightsaber), Darwin, Triton, The Tiger Sharks: Lorka, Mako, Walro, Dolph, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish, Dementor #10, Black Dragon #8, Krayt Dragon #5, Purple Dragon #21, Ace Duck, Griffin #17, The Secret Saturdays: Zak Saturday (w/ green lightsaber), Solomon "Doc" Saturday, Drew, Fiskerton, Komodo, Zon, & Doyle Blackwell (w/ a blue lightsaber), The Scarlet Spider, Heavy, The Brotherhood of Evil: The Brain, Monsieur Mallah, Gen. Immortus, Garguax, & Madam Rouge, Edward & Bella, Vampire #99, Space Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, Widget (w/ body), Predator #46, Orion, & Mr. Incredible.
As the match begins Brainiac speaks to his teammate of 3 years Namor and says: "I believe I will take point during this match, I have a plan that is fool proof, and my 12th level intellect is obviously required for a match of this size". “I say NAY” retorts the Sub-Mariner, “it is I who have led this team to victory in 7 straight water matches and it is I who will continue to carry that mantle”. This power struggle remains unresolved as Namor dives deep into the salty water of the post-apocalyptic earth, where he is followed by Black Manta, Aspen, & Mimic; who has taken the powers of Namor, Aspen, & Mastermind for the time being. Brainiac sits in the back of the Swift Boat, which is being driven by Navy Sailors #1-3, they are also joined by Marian & The Enchantress. Brainiac realizes that Namor is not going to listen to his commands, so he uses what he knows his deep-sea bound teammates are going to do in formulating his plan of attack. He orders the Sailor to turn the small vessel around and hang back while the “lesser” members of Team S.P. cause some bonus damage. Little does Brainiac know that Triton’s plan of action, is not to dissimilar. Triton is deep under the water himself with Darwin (who has grown gills and flippers) and The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph of course who is (Shocker) up at the top of the water getting air and reminding everyone that he is by far the most useless Tiger Shark). Triton says to Darwin that he realizes that despite their amazing individual power that their team is an underdog against the formidable Team S.P. squad and that if they are going to have a chance than they are going to have to win a war of attrition by letting their other teammates do as much damage as possible before the “true water powers” of the team show their faces. As the Oblivio crew moves in to attack, they are first met by Team S.P.’s Xenomorphs (just as Brainiac had planned). The large and powerful Xenomorphs move thru the water with a surprising amount of speed and grace. In the air, Oblivio has several combatants circling the water’s airspace, but Team S.P. has only Namor’s Griffin, who is being ridden by Mastermind and Vision who is flying around in his intangible state. We are assuming (just this once) for the sake of this match that the Krayt Dragon is like they were portrayed in the episode Robot Chicken, where they are sea dwelling creatures (and not giant desert creatures like they are typically portrayed). The giant Krayt Dragon leaps out of the water and comes down hard on 2 of the Aliens ripping them apart. Their acid blood barely slows down the massive creature, but the Krayt Dragon is eventually killed when the remaining 23 Xenomorphs rip the Tatooine bred monster to shreds. Dolph manages to kill a Xenomorph (fine I’ll give the guy a little credit since we are in a water match), but he is quickly torn apart by Xenomorph #3. Ace Duck is not only moving swiftly thru the water, but he is also using his laser gun to cap him sum Xenomorphs like it ain’t no thang. Ace Duck uses his gun to single-handedly kill 3 Aliens, and then kills one more with his bare ( well they’re still feathered) hands before he is sprayed by acid and brutally ripped apart. The Secret Saturdays (minus Doyle who is with the Oblivio air force due to his jet pack) fight valiantly even though they are a bit out of their element floating in the water. With their combined efforts are unable to take out more than just 5 Xenomorphs, before the are wasted as well. Heavy backs up The Scarlet Spider who takes out 2 Aliens plus Heavy’s one but they both succumb to the force of the perfect biological weapons as well. Edward takes out 2 while his long lost bitten brother from another human-vampire-uninfected mother takes out one before they are overcome by the Xenomorphs speed and ability to work as a unit, despite inferior intelligence. Predator #46 thinks to himself that it is supposed to be Alien Vs. Predator, not 10 Aliens Vs. Predator which definitely would make for a crappy movie, because it lasted about 10 seconds (or maybe some of you would have liked this version more: Your call). The Brain has combined his own intelligence with that of Mallahs & added the cunning military skills of Immortus and Garguax, to build a raft (yeah, that’s it a raft: what were you expecting a space ship? They’re smart but they don’t have much to work with here, give them a break). It is this raft that is keeping them away from the Xenomorph slaughter for the moment. The Xenomorphs are now circling in the water searching for more prey, when all of the sudden, Widget creates a portal, and from that portal appears Space Godzilla. Xenomorph #21 leaps out of the water and crushes Widget, but that was the last kill that they were credited with as Space Godzilla manages to use the element of surprise (and not to mention really big feet and cosmic fire breath) to take out the last 10 Aliens. The yellow lantern/evil doll known as Chucky leads the Oblivio air strike against Vision, Mastermind, & the Griffin. Mastermind uses his powers to take over whatever semblance of a mind Dementor #10 has and totally wipes it. But he is not Doyle Blackwell comes flying up in his jetpack, but Mastermind makes him turn the lightsaber on himself before he can cause any damage to Team S.P. Mastermind’s brief reign of terror comes to an end though, when Purple Dragon #21 flies over top of the Griifin and bites off Mastermind’s head. Griffin retaliates and goes in for the kill on the dragon, which he gets. Namor’s Griffin then attacks Griffin #17 and creates the same result, with Griffin #17’s large furry body falling to the salty waters below. It is unable to be known who would have come out on top of the battle between the Griffin and Black Dragon #8, because before the fight could be finished Chucky used an enormous yellow energy produced axe to cut them both in half. As a Watcher, I almost went against the rules and asked Chucky why he did this when it killed his own teammate as well, but Chucky was to busy maniacally laughing. The Brotherhood of Evil is traveling alongside Orion & Mr. Incredible on the where to Brainiac’s swift boat, while the 4 Sentinels, one of whom is carrying Blockbuster are flying in toward Space Godzilla & Jet Jaguar. Sentinel #2 throws Blockbuster at Jet Jaguar and Blockbuster grabs a hold of the Ultra Man rip-off/Godzilla BFF. The 2 of them begin pounding on each other with punches that could easily level buildings, but the 2 of them do not let up at all, even as they fall in to the water. Space Godzilla manages to take out Female Sentinel #1 & 3 with his cosmic fire breath, and then finishes off #4 with a haymaker that breaks the advanced Sentinel in 2. Jet Jaguar manages to finish off Blockbuster, but as he does he is caught with a barrage of firepower from Sentinel #2 which finishes the weakened Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar’s death is avenged very quickly by his best friend forever’s cosmic cousin only seconds after the fight. Vision is able to stay intangible while Chucky swings his red lightsaber thru the nothingness. Vision continues to stay intangible thru the yellow energy aura that Chucky’s ring is emanating as well, but he foregoes his intangibility for only a second and only in his hands which is what he uses to crush in Chucky’s little plastic head. The Brain is not outsmarted very often, but Brainiac is able to see the ace that is his intelligence and then trump it. The raft approaches Brainiac’s swift boat, but as it does The SHIELD Agents and Navy Sailors all rip off their snorkels and jump out of the water to defend their leader. As the agents and sailors execute their diversionary tactic, Enchantress takes over the minds of Mr. Incredible and Orion. She uses her feminine wiles to make them fight each other for her love. They both become so obsessed with both the fight and the prize that they drown while trying to win them both. Space Godzilla comes up from behind but Brainiac executes a fail safe that he secretly inserted in to Vision at the beginning of Season 1. Brainiac remotely takes over Vision’s mind and orders him to fly into Space Godzilla’s heart while in his intangible state. Vision then (unknowingly) turns his body into a substance as hard as diamond, killing both himself and Space Godzilla. The agents and sailors are dying quick but are serving their purpose as well. They manage to destroy the raft, kill Garguax and most importantly break open The Brain’s canister, before they are all killed. Mallah, Rouge, & Immortus are all aboard the cramped swift boat wreaking havoc. Brainiac rips Immortus’ head clean off while Madam Rouge easily takes out the 3 remaining Navy Sailors. Monsieur Mallah kills Enchantress with a swift kick to the head and then tries to crush Marian Ravenwood with his fists; but Marian dodges out of the way in the knick of time and sticks her saber into his back, piercing his heart. She is then strangled to death by Madam Rouge’s elasticized arms. Madam Rouge then moves even quicker than Brainiac can think as she trips him up with her stretched left arm and then brings her right leg down on his “big brained” head like it was an anvil, to finally kill the mighty Brainiac. Madam Rouge has little time to celebrate this victory as the swift boat is quickly capsized by the powers of Aspen. Rouge dies and Namor looks to Aspen and says: we should probably actually begin this battle now”. Namor, along with Black Manta, Mimic, & Aspen swim deep down into the ocean depths where they find Triton, Darwin, & The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph, but they are better off without him). Namor and Triton begin battling with each other and find that they are evenly matched. The 2 combatants are both in their prime environment and are showing it as this amazing battle takes place. Mimic battles with Darwin in a similar battle, while Black Manta and Aspen take on The Tiger Sharks. Black Manta and Aspen don’t work together very well, but it is well enough for them to meet each other in the middle of the small battle area after they have wiped out Lorka, Mako, Walro, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish. Darwin’s ability to adept to anything is more than just amazing, but Mimic has the ability to use a person’s own abilities against them. So not only is Mimic’s body adapting to the surroundings in the exact same way that Darwin’s is, he also retains the powers of Namor and Aspen as well, which are what he uses to kill Darwin. Triton may have had what it takes to kill Namor, but once The Sub-Mariner’s buddies come to lend him a hand, he just doesn’t have what it takes. Triton puts his 3 pronged weapon into the helmet of Black Manta, but that is the only one of the 3 he is able to make join him in death, as he is overwhelmed by Namor, Aspen, & Mimic.
TEAM S.P. IS VICTORIOUS!
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos vs. Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies
“WATERWORLD is the environmentalist most popular apocalyptic view of the future.”
-Steve Rhodes
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Commandos: Dave Bowman- The Starchild, Numnius, Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality, Taa, Rodimus Prime, Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, Vorian Atreides in a MiG, Capt. Steven Hiller in a MiG, Lazarus Long in a MiG, Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft, Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat, Zombie Cloverfield Monster, Zombie Darkseid, Red Dragons #1-6, Black Dragon #15, Harry Potter, Yurich Byrninson, Dr. Fate, Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon, Gungans #1-12, and in a Sub-marine is Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley.
The Murderflies are: The Maxx and Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Lorne Michaels, Speedy Gonzalez, Brak, Dobby, Brain Damaged Beowulf, Sarah Palin, Jay and Silent Bob with Suzanne, Forge, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Agent X, Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Lobo, Guy Gardner and G’Nort, Booster Gold, Kyle Rayner OL, Ted Nugent, Greedo, Dorf, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, Batgirl (babs), The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti, and Suchi the monkey; The Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly, Mecha Godzilla, Caramon and Raistlin Majere, The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, The Technobots-Scattershot, Lightspeed, Strafe, Nosecone, Afterburner (Computron), Ron Popeil, Shazam, Starro, Grimlock, King Leonidas, Dark Claw, The Wu-Tang Clan, Lobo the Duck, Capt. Caveman, Moon Knight, Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha, Flatman, Quick Draw McGraw, The Blair Witch, Squirrels #1-15, Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, Ernie Harwell, Denver the Last Dinosaur.
Let the Battle begin. . .
The Murderflies stand on the water city’s platform. To spurn their teammates on, the Wu-Tang Clan gives a “shout out” war cry:
The game of chess, is like a swordfight,You must think first, before you move;Toad style is immensely strong, and immune to nearly any weapon,When it's properly used, it's almost invincible!
The Murderflies are revved up at the Clan’s war cry and intensely await the Commandos.
As the Commandos prepare to commence their attack, before the match truly begins, Dave Bowman- The Starchild looks over at Numnius.
Bowman: I just don’t like the way you look today.
A bewildered Numnius cannot react in time. Bowman unleashes his full cosmic fury upon Numnius and, once again, destroys his own teammate. Bowman floats over the water and watches the match unfold. [Note to owner: If the Commandos are going to succeed in the playoffs this year, the ownership is going to have to settle the continuing differences between these two characters.]
The MiGs fly together as a squadron over the floating city. Vorian Atreides, Captain Steve Hiller, and Lazarus Long are at the controls of the jets. The three focus on the most heinous characters on the Murderflies team- Squirrels #1-15. The Squirrels sense their upcoming destruction and begin to scatter. They are not quick enough, as the MiGs unleash their air-to-surface missiles upon the bushy tailed rodents. Squirrels #1-15 are incinerated. Squirrel Girl is heard to let out an agonizing moan, sensing their deaths. In response to the Squirrels’ annihilation, the Murderflies attack the MiGs. Dynomutt the Dog Wonder becomes a robot projectile and crashes through the MiG flown by Atreides. The MiG and Vorian Atreides are blown to smithereens. The MiG flown by Steve Hiller is attacked by Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Hawkman uses his mace to crush the MiG’s canopy while Hawkgirl uses her spear to pin Steve Hiller to the seat. The MiG crashes in the waters below, with a dead Hiller impaled to his seat. Lazarus Long’s MiG is met by the Powerpuff Girls. Their combined powers force the MiG into the waters below and both it and its rider, Lazarus Long, explode on impact.
The submarine of the Commandos carries Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley. The submarine rises and docks at the floating city. Before the Colonial Marines storm the site, Sgt. Apone can be heard addressing his Marines.
Apone: All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line!
The Marines erupt from the submarine. They are met by Quick Draw McGraw, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Denver the Last Dinosaur and Speedy Gonzalez. Although McGraw is a superior marksman, he is no match for the combined firepower of the Marines. McGraw goes down in a blaze of glory. Bob-Agent of Hydra accidentally loses control of his bladder. As he begins to run away, he trips over his urine soaked pants and is shot dead by PFC Vasquez and Pvt. Drake. Meanwhile, PFC Hudson and Pvt. Frost riddle Denver the Last Dinosaur’s body with hundreds of bullets. Speedy Gonzalez races away and the Marines follow him. As the Marines round the corner of the building which the mouse ran, they see Sarah Palin standing in front of Jay, Silent Bob, Suzanne and Lorne Michaels. Palin looks to her comrades.
Palin: Only dead fish go with the flow!!!
With her creative (and true-life) comment, Palin leads the charge of her teammates at the Marines. They are shredded by the Marines’ weapons. Sgt. Apone notices Speedy around another corner. The mouse smiles and rushes away. As the Marines turn the corner, they are met by Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Agent X, Julie Winter, the Maxx, Lobo and Lobo the Duck. Although Julie Winters is killed, an onslaught ensues as the Murderflies rip through Sgt. Apone, Lt. Gorman, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Spunkmeyer, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski and Corporal Ferro. The remaining Marines skirt away and hole up behind a large tower; Corporal Hicks, Bishop 341-BL, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley survive.
Hudson: That's it man, game over man, game over! What the f&@k are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Ripley: Stow it Hudson, we need to think!
Before they can think, Pvt. Drake’s head explodes as a precisely aimed bullet by Agent X hits him. Bishop 341-BL is grabbed by Lobo, The Maxx and Lobo the Duck, who rip him apart.
Hudson: Oh dear Lord Jesus, this ain't happening, man... This can't be happening, man! This isn't happening!
The remaining marines focus on the remaining Murderflies. At the end of the melee, all of the Marines, being Corporal Hicks, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley are killed. For the Murderflies, Lobo the Duck and Agent X are killed.
Across the flotilla, Captain Caveman flies at the Zombie Cloverfield Monster.
Captain Caveman: Captain Caaaaaavvveeeemaaaaan!!!!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster crushes Captain Caveman in its maw and bats the caveman’s body across the sky.
One can hear Harwell across the way: That one is looonnnggg gone!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster is then met by Mecha Godzilla. The two behemoths battle one another. Mecha Godzilla rips Cloverfield Monster’s arms off and crushes its skull. Zombie Cloverfield Monster’s body drifts away. Red Dragons #1-6 with Black Dragon #15 fly to Mecha Godzilla. Mecha Godzilla is damaged by the Black Dragon’s acid breath, but still manages to kill Red Dragons #2, 4-6. Black Dragon #15 and Red Dragons #1 and 3 re-group and come at Mecha Godzilla again. Before they reach Mecha Godzilla, Computron comes over and destroys the remaining Dragons- Black #15 and Red #1 and 3.
Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat crash into the flotilla and are met by Harry Potter. Angel pushes Buffy away as an arrow strikes through his heart. The arrow was shot by ace-archer Ted Nugent. Angel saves his true love, but he has paid the ultimate price. Willow places a holding spell on Nugent so that the Motor City Madman cannot move. Buffy walks up to him and shoves the same arrow through his eye; Ted Nugent dies. Ginny Weasely has run from the docked submarine to join Harry Potter, in his battle. The Blair Witch has moved to the fray. The combined skill of Willow, Dumbledore, Ginny Weasely and Harry Potter dispel the Blair Witch. As Ginny smiles at Harry, Dobby and Brak rush from behind crates that are stacked nearby. The duo reaches Ginny and snaps her neck. Harry Potter and Dumbledore respond by frying them where they stand.
Lyra and Pantalamon are flying above the waters in the Intention Craft. Its advanced weaponry focus on The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup and Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, who has joined the super-powered five year olds. Although the Powerpuff Girls and Dynomutt were victorious in their battle with the MiGs, they are no so lucky against the Intention Craft. The craft destroys them and their charred bodies hit the water with loud splashes.
The teams from the Murderflies decide to come together. The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the monkey and Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly face off against Zombie Darkseid, Black Adam and Dr. Fate. The battle is short lived as the Commandoes rip through the faux-powered heroes.
Seeing the carnage around them, the Wu-Tang Clan decides to rev up their team again with a song. Ernie Harwell, Ron Popeil and Dorf stand near the Clan and anticipate the song’s verses and the impact on their team.
Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!
Harwell, Popeil and Dorf look at one another- somewhat disappointed at the verses so far. Before the Clan can commence with their next song, they see Dr. Doom approach.
Dr. Doom (in an uncharacteristic poetic-versed song):
Method Man, U-God and RZA,
Here comes Doom and it’s time to play;
GZA, Raekwon and Masta Killa,
Your bodies gonna be crisp and your guts are gonna spilla;
Ghostface Killah, ODB and Inspectah Deck
I’m gonna rip your heads right off your neck!
Dr. Doom smiles underneath his helmet and fries the rap group. Dorf, Popeil and Harwell close their eyes and anticipate their fate. The last thoughts of Dorf are of his winning putt on the 18th hole of the Masters. The last thoughts of Popeil are of his perfect rotisserie ham last Easter. The last thoughts of Harwell are of his winning call for the Detroit Tigers in the ’68 World Series. They are fried along with their rapping brethren.
Gungans #1-12 jump on the barge and are met by Moon Knight, Doc Brown, Greedo and the Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha and Flatman. After the somewhat minor skirmish transpires, all Gungans #1-12 are dead, as are Doc Brown, Greedo, Squirrel Girl and Big Bertha.
In the air, the Lanterns of the Commandos- Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality and Taa come together. They face Guy Gardner and G’Nort, along with Kyle Rayner OL. The brilliance of projectiles and constructs creates a rainbow colored effect in the sky. Karu-Sil and Fatality manage to kill G’Nort. Kyle Rayner OL manages to kill Taa. Guy Gardner is pounced upon by Dex-Starr. The alien cat rips the Green Lantern’ face. As Gardner tries to clear the blood drifting into his eyes, he is killed by Karu-Sil and Fatality. In response, Kyle Rayner OL destroys Dex-Starr. Karu-sil and Fatality are joined by Black Adam, Parallax and Mary Marvel. Booster Gold, Shazam, Hawkman and Hawkgirl join Kyle Rayner OL. After a pitched battle, Karu-sil, Booster Gold, Hawkgirl and Fatality are dead. The remaining participants fly off to re-group.
Caramon and Rastlin Majere meet Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon. The snow goose daemon rushes at Caramon Majere. The Dragonlance warrior slices the goose in half. The Witch Queen Pekkala lashes out in vengeance and kills Caramon. Raistlin, in response to his brother’s death, uses his wizard powers to strike at Pekkala. Although Pekkala and Majere are somewhat evenly matched, Pekkala does not notice Speedy Gonzalez standing behind her. Pekkala trips over the mouse. Raistlin uses this to his advantage and casts a spell that freezes Pekkala. Speedy runs around and on top of the frozen combatant at such speed that she begins to vibrate with such intensity that she shatters apart. Speedy rushes off again, having caused the destruction of yet another Commando. The remaining magic users of the Commandos- Willow, Dumbledore and Potter arrive at the scene. They destroy Raistlin Majere, but at the price of Willow’s life.
Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft focus on Computron. The Craft’s weapons rip apart Computron’s components. In the Technobots’ destruction, only Scattershot, and Strafe remain; Lightspeed, Nosecone and Afterburner are destroyed. The space craft modes of the Transformers attack the Intention Craft. The combined firepower of the Transformers actually damage the ship. The ship has to land on the platform. As they are about to lift off again, they are met by Grimlock, Mecha-Godzilla and Brain-Damaged Beowulf. The Intention Craft destroys Brain-Damaged Beowulf, but is set upon by the mechanical dinosaur-like duo of Grimlock and Mecha-Godzilla. The Intention Craft is ripped apart by the robots. Lyra and Pantalamon escape, but are then jumped by King Leonidas and Dark Claw. Lyra and Pantalamon are killed.
King Leonidas is attacked by Buffy. The Greek King succumbs to the vampire slayer as she uses a metal rod to jam through his torso. Buffy then focuses on Batgirl (babs). The girl-fight is spectacular as the spray of water lashes against their costume and shirt. From the display, it is a bit cold outside for the women. Buffy eventually gains the upper hand over Batgirl and kills her. She is tired, but looking for another fight. She faces Etrigan the Demon, Lobo and Dark Claw. She is brutally killed, unable to inflict any harm upon her foes due to their regenerative, healing-factors.
Although it knows that the act it commits will ultimately be its downfall, the alien knows that it is worth it. Starro flies at an incredible speed and actually attaches itself to Dave Bowman- the Starchild. Starro uses its mind control ability to take control of Bowman and destroy Yurich Byrninson; Byrninson is engulfed in flames and explodes. Bowman begins to fight the mind control of Starro. Bowman is able to briefly escape Starro’s effects and uses his powers to destroy two of his real team’s more formidable opponents- Mecha Godzilla and Grimlock. Before Bowman can do further damage to Starro’s team, a last ditch effort proves fruitful as Bowman destroys himself, along with Starro, at Starro’s direction.
Strafe and Scattershot focus on the flying Commandos- Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, and Dr. Fate. At the end of the fight, both Transformer space ships are destroyed, as is Dr. Fate and Mary Marvel. Black Adam and Parallax fly from the melee and are met by Shazam. Black Adam and Shazam face one another and good reigns over evil as Shazam kills Black Adam. Shazam’s victory is short lived as Parallax rips through Shazam and destroys him.
Rodimus Prime, in robot mode, focuses on his enemy. He fires his weapons and kills both Moon Knight and Flatman. Forge uses his mutant ability to create a weapon of the debris lying around on the flotilla. He uses this against Prime and manages to cripple the Transformer. Kyle Rayner OL then flies upon the scene and with his lantern construct, destroys Prime.
Dumbledore and Harry Potter use their wizardry to take away the healing/immortality factors of Lobo, Darkclaw and Mr. Immortal. Dr. Doom and Zombie Darkseid use this to their advantage and rip them apart with their inherent weaponry. The four stand together against the remaining Murderflies, as Parallax flies above.
Parallax focuses on Rayner. Parallax takes over Rayner’s body and together, they become Kyle Rayner-Parallax. Rayner-Parallax destroys his teammates the Maxx and Forge. Etrigan the Demon uses his hellfire to engulf Rayner-Parallax. Parallax leaves Rayner, who has been killed by Etrigan’s fire. Zombie Darkseid and Dr. Doom take care of Hellboy and Etrigan. In a last ditch effort, Hawkman flies behind Potter and kills him wit his mace. In response, Dumbledore kills Hawkman.
Speedy is the lone Murderfly left; he faces incredible odds. He will not die without words to his enemies.
Speedy: Hola penes. Sé que estoy muerto, pero es un ramo de a$$holes. Viva la Murderflies!!!!
Speedy is incinerated by Zombie Darkseid.
Commandos: Parallax, Dr. Doom, Zombie Darkseid and Dumbledore survive.
Murderflies: All dead.
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOES IS VICTORIOUS!!!
-Steve Rhodes
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Commandos: Dave Bowman- The Starchild, Numnius, Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality, Taa, Rodimus Prime, Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, Vorian Atreides in a MiG, Capt. Steven Hiller in a MiG, Lazarus Long in a MiG, Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft, Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat, Zombie Cloverfield Monster, Zombie Darkseid, Red Dragons #1-6, Black Dragon #15, Harry Potter, Yurich Byrninson, Dr. Fate, Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon, Gungans #1-12, and in a Sub-marine is Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley.
The Murderflies are: The Maxx and Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Lorne Michaels, Speedy Gonzalez, Brak, Dobby, Brain Damaged Beowulf, Sarah Palin, Jay and Silent Bob with Suzanne, Forge, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Agent X, Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Lobo, Guy Gardner and G’Nort, Booster Gold, Kyle Rayner OL, Ted Nugent, Greedo, Dorf, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, Batgirl (babs), The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti, and Suchi the monkey; The Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly, Mecha Godzilla, Caramon and Raistlin Majere, The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, The Technobots-Scattershot, Lightspeed, Strafe, Nosecone, Afterburner (Computron), Ron Popeil, Shazam, Starro, Grimlock, King Leonidas, Dark Claw, The Wu-Tang Clan, Lobo the Duck, Capt. Caveman, Moon Knight, Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha, Flatman, Quick Draw McGraw, The Blair Witch, Squirrels #1-15, Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, Ernie Harwell, Denver the Last Dinosaur.
Let the Battle begin. . .
The Murderflies stand on the water city’s platform. To spurn their teammates on, the Wu-Tang Clan gives a “shout out” war cry:
The game of chess, is like a swordfight,You must think first, before you move;Toad style is immensely strong, and immune to nearly any weapon,When it's properly used, it's almost invincible!
The Murderflies are revved up at the Clan’s war cry and intensely await the Commandos.
As the Commandos prepare to commence their attack, before the match truly begins, Dave Bowman- The Starchild looks over at Numnius.
Bowman: I just don’t like the way you look today.
A bewildered Numnius cannot react in time. Bowman unleashes his full cosmic fury upon Numnius and, once again, destroys his own teammate. Bowman floats over the water and watches the match unfold. [Note to owner: If the Commandos are going to succeed in the playoffs this year, the ownership is going to have to settle the continuing differences between these two characters.]
The MiGs fly together as a squadron over the floating city. Vorian Atreides, Captain Steve Hiller, and Lazarus Long are at the controls of the jets. The three focus on the most heinous characters on the Murderflies team- Squirrels #1-15. The Squirrels sense their upcoming destruction and begin to scatter. They are not quick enough, as the MiGs unleash their air-to-surface missiles upon the bushy tailed rodents. Squirrels #1-15 are incinerated. Squirrel Girl is heard to let out an agonizing moan, sensing their deaths. In response to the Squirrels’ annihilation, the Murderflies attack the MiGs. Dynomutt the Dog Wonder becomes a robot projectile and crashes through the MiG flown by Atreides. The MiG and Vorian Atreides are blown to smithereens. The MiG flown by Steve Hiller is attacked by Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Hawkman uses his mace to crush the MiG’s canopy while Hawkgirl uses her spear to pin Steve Hiller to the seat. The MiG crashes in the waters below, with a dead Hiller impaled to his seat. Lazarus Long’s MiG is met by the Powerpuff Girls. Their combined powers force the MiG into the waters below and both it and its rider, Lazarus Long, explode on impact.
The submarine of the Commandos carries Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley. The submarine rises and docks at the floating city. Before the Colonial Marines storm the site, Sgt. Apone can be heard addressing his Marines.
Apone: All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line!
The Marines erupt from the submarine. They are met by Quick Draw McGraw, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Denver the Last Dinosaur and Speedy Gonzalez. Although McGraw is a superior marksman, he is no match for the combined firepower of the Marines. McGraw goes down in a blaze of glory. Bob-Agent of Hydra accidentally loses control of his bladder. As he begins to run away, he trips over his urine soaked pants and is shot dead by PFC Vasquez and Pvt. Drake. Meanwhile, PFC Hudson and Pvt. Frost riddle Denver the Last Dinosaur’s body with hundreds of bullets. Speedy Gonzalez races away and the Marines follow him. As the Marines round the corner of the building which the mouse ran, they see Sarah Palin standing in front of Jay, Silent Bob, Suzanne and Lorne Michaels. Palin looks to her comrades.
Palin: Only dead fish go with the flow!!!
With her creative (and true-life) comment, Palin leads the charge of her teammates at the Marines. They are shredded by the Marines’ weapons. Sgt. Apone notices Speedy around another corner. The mouse smiles and rushes away. As the Marines turn the corner, they are met by Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Agent X, Julie Winter, the Maxx, Lobo and Lobo the Duck. Although Julie Winters is killed, an onslaught ensues as the Murderflies rip through Sgt. Apone, Lt. Gorman, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Spunkmeyer, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski and Corporal Ferro. The remaining Marines skirt away and hole up behind a large tower; Corporal Hicks, Bishop 341-BL, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley survive.
Hudson: That's it man, game over man, game over! What the f&@k are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Ripley: Stow it Hudson, we need to think!
Before they can think, Pvt. Drake’s head explodes as a precisely aimed bullet by Agent X hits him. Bishop 341-BL is grabbed by Lobo, The Maxx and Lobo the Duck, who rip him apart.
Hudson: Oh dear Lord Jesus, this ain't happening, man... This can't be happening, man! This isn't happening!
The remaining marines focus on the remaining Murderflies. At the end of the melee, all of the Marines, being Corporal Hicks, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley are killed. For the Murderflies, Lobo the Duck and Agent X are killed.
Across the flotilla, Captain Caveman flies at the Zombie Cloverfield Monster.
Captain Caveman: Captain Caaaaaavvveeeemaaaaan!!!!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster crushes Captain Caveman in its maw and bats the caveman’s body across the sky.
One can hear Harwell across the way: That one is looonnnggg gone!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster is then met by Mecha Godzilla. The two behemoths battle one another. Mecha Godzilla rips Cloverfield Monster’s arms off and crushes its skull. Zombie Cloverfield Monster’s body drifts away. Red Dragons #1-6 with Black Dragon #15 fly to Mecha Godzilla. Mecha Godzilla is damaged by the Black Dragon’s acid breath, but still manages to kill Red Dragons #2, 4-6. Black Dragon #15 and Red Dragons #1 and 3 re-group and come at Mecha Godzilla again. Before they reach Mecha Godzilla, Computron comes over and destroys the remaining Dragons- Black #15 and Red #1 and 3.
Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat crash into the flotilla and are met by Harry Potter. Angel pushes Buffy away as an arrow strikes through his heart. The arrow was shot by ace-archer Ted Nugent. Angel saves his true love, but he has paid the ultimate price. Willow places a holding spell on Nugent so that the Motor City Madman cannot move. Buffy walks up to him and shoves the same arrow through his eye; Ted Nugent dies. Ginny Weasely has run from the docked submarine to join Harry Potter, in his battle. The Blair Witch has moved to the fray. The combined skill of Willow, Dumbledore, Ginny Weasely and Harry Potter dispel the Blair Witch. As Ginny smiles at Harry, Dobby and Brak rush from behind crates that are stacked nearby. The duo reaches Ginny and snaps her neck. Harry Potter and Dumbledore respond by frying them where they stand.
Lyra and Pantalamon are flying above the waters in the Intention Craft. Its advanced weaponry focus on The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup and Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, who has joined the super-powered five year olds. Although the Powerpuff Girls and Dynomutt were victorious in their battle with the MiGs, they are no so lucky against the Intention Craft. The craft destroys them and their charred bodies hit the water with loud splashes.
The teams from the Murderflies decide to come together. The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the monkey and Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly face off against Zombie Darkseid, Black Adam and Dr. Fate. The battle is short lived as the Commandoes rip through the faux-powered heroes.
Seeing the carnage around them, the Wu-Tang Clan decides to rev up their team again with a song. Ernie Harwell, Ron Popeil and Dorf stand near the Clan and anticipate the song’s verses and the impact on their team.
Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!
Harwell, Popeil and Dorf look at one another- somewhat disappointed at the verses so far. Before the Clan can commence with their next song, they see Dr. Doom approach.
Dr. Doom (in an uncharacteristic poetic-versed song):
Method Man, U-God and RZA,
Here comes Doom and it’s time to play;
GZA, Raekwon and Masta Killa,
Your bodies gonna be crisp and your guts are gonna spilla;
Ghostface Killah, ODB and Inspectah Deck
I’m gonna rip your heads right off your neck!
Dr. Doom smiles underneath his helmet and fries the rap group. Dorf, Popeil and Harwell close their eyes and anticipate their fate. The last thoughts of Dorf are of his winning putt on the 18th hole of the Masters. The last thoughts of Popeil are of his perfect rotisserie ham last Easter. The last thoughts of Harwell are of his winning call for the Detroit Tigers in the ’68 World Series. They are fried along with their rapping brethren.
Gungans #1-12 jump on the barge and are met by Moon Knight, Doc Brown, Greedo and the Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha and Flatman. After the somewhat minor skirmish transpires, all Gungans #1-12 are dead, as are Doc Brown, Greedo, Squirrel Girl and Big Bertha.
In the air, the Lanterns of the Commandos- Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality and Taa come together. They face Guy Gardner and G’Nort, along with Kyle Rayner OL. The brilliance of projectiles and constructs creates a rainbow colored effect in the sky. Karu-Sil and Fatality manage to kill G’Nort. Kyle Rayner OL manages to kill Taa. Guy Gardner is pounced upon by Dex-Starr. The alien cat rips the Green Lantern’ face. As Gardner tries to clear the blood drifting into his eyes, he is killed by Karu-Sil and Fatality. In response, Kyle Rayner OL destroys Dex-Starr. Karu-sil and Fatality are joined by Black Adam, Parallax and Mary Marvel. Booster Gold, Shazam, Hawkman and Hawkgirl join Kyle Rayner OL. After a pitched battle, Karu-sil, Booster Gold, Hawkgirl and Fatality are dead. The remaining participants fly off to re-group.
Caramon and Rastlin Majere meet Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon. The snow goose daemon rushes at Caramon Majere. The Dragonlance warrior slices the goose in half. The Witch Queen Pekkala lashes out in vengeance and kills Caramon. Raistlin, in response to his brother’s death, uses his wizard powers to strike at Pekkala. Although Pekkala and Majere are somewhat evenly matched, Pekkala does not notice Speedy Gonzalez standing behind her. Pekkala trips over the mouse. Raistlin uses this to his advantage and casts a spell that freezes Pekkala. Speedy runs around and on top of the frozen combatant at such speed that she begins to vibrate with such intensity that she shatters apart. Speedy rushes off again, having caused the destruction of yet another Commando. The remaining magic users of the Commandos- Willow, Dumbledore and Potter arrive at the scene. They destroy Raistlin Majere, but at the price of Willow’s life.
Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft focus on Computron. The Craft’s weapons rip apart Computron’s components. In the Technobots’ destruction, only Scattershot, and Strafe remain; Lightspeed, Nosecone and Afterburner are destroyed. The space craft modes of the Transformers attack the Intention Craft. The combined firepower of the Transformers actually damage the ship. The ship has to land on the platform. As they are about to lift off again, they are met by Grimlock, Mecha-Godzilla and Brain-Damaged Beowulf. The Intention Craft destroys Brain-Damaged Beowulf, but is set upon by the mechanical dinosaur-like duo of Grimlock and Mecha-Godzilla. The Intention Craft is ripped apart by the robots. Lyra and Pantalamon escape, but are then jumped by King Leonidas and Dark Claw. Lyra and Pantalamon are killed.
King Leonidas is attacked by Buffy. The Greek King succumbs to the vampire slayer as she uses a metal rod to jam through his torso. Buffy then focuses on Batgirl (babs). The girl-fight is spectacular as the spray of water lashes against their costume and shirt. From the display, it is a bit cold outside for the women. Buffy eventually gains the upper hand over Batgirl and kills her. She is tired, but looking for another fight. She faces Etrigan the Demon, Lobo and Dark Claw. She is brutally killed, unable to inflict any harm upon her foes due to their regenerative, healing-factors.
Although it knows that the act it commits will ultimately be its downfall, the alien knows that it is worth it. Starro flies at an incredible speed and actually attaches itself to Dave Bowman- the Starchild. Starro uses its mind control ability to take control of Bowman and destroy Yurich Byrninson; Byrninson is engulfed in flames and explodes. Bowman begins to fight the mind control of Starro. Bowman is able to briefly escape Starro’s effects and uses his powers to destroy two of his real team’s more formidable opponents- Mecha Godzilla and Grimlock. Before Bowman can do further damage to Starro’s team, a last ditch effort proves fruitful as Bowman destroys himself, along with Starro, at Starro’s direction.
Strafe and Scattershot focus on the flying Commandos- Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, and Dr. Fate. At the end of the fight, both Transformer space ships are destroyed, as is Dr. Fate and Mary Marvel. Black Adam and Parallax fly from the melee and are met by Shazam. Black Adam and Shazam face one another and good reigns over evil as Shazam kills Black Adam. Shazam’s victory is short lived as Parallax rips through Shazam and destroys him.
Rodimus Prime, in robot mode, focuses on his enemy. He fires his weapons and kills both Moon Knight and Flatman. Forge uses his mutant ability to create a weapon of the debris lying around on the flotilla. He uses this against Prime and manages to cripple the Transformer. Kyle Rayner OL then flies upon the scene and with his lantern construct, destroys Prime.
Dumbledore and Harry Potter use their wizardry to take away the healing/immortality factors of Lobo, Darkclaw and Mr. Immortal. Dr. Doom and Zombie Darkseid use this to their advantage and rip them apart with their inherent weaponry. The four stand together against the remaining Murderflies, as Parallax flies above.
Parallax focuses on Rayner. Parallax takes over Rayner’s body and together, they become Kyle Rayner-Parallax. Rayner-Parallax destroys his teammates the Maxx and Forge. Etrigan the Demon uses his hellfire to engulf Rayner-Parallax. Parallax leaves Rayner, who has been killed by Etrigan’s fire. Zombie Darkseid and Dr. Doom take care of Hellboy and Etrigan. In a last ditch effort, Hawkman flies behind Potter and kills him wit his mace. In response, Dumbledore kills Hawkman.
Speedy is the lone Murderfly left; he faces incredible odds. He will not die without words to his enemies.
Speedy: Hola penes. Sé que estoy muerto, pero es un ramo de a$$holes. Viva la Murderflies!!!!
Speedy is incinerated by Zombie Darkseid.
Commandos: Parallax, Dr. Doom, Zombie Darkseid and Dumbledore survive.
Murderflies: All dead.
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOES IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Note from the Commissioner
Due to several different delays on both the Watcher and Team Owner end, the matches for this week will appear slightly later than normal. I ask that all team owners please be patient. If your match, or a match that you were looking forward to is not up yet, it will be very soon (within the next 36 hours at the very latest). As for Week 6, I understand that it is a difficult team to put together, so if you need a little more time or help it is understandable. Thanks.
-Josh
-Josh
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Transfoamers vs. The Right Wing
“Waterworld- The world is a cruel place, where brotherhood is a thing of the past, and anything -- or anyone -- can be sold or traded for as little as a sheet of paper.”
-James Berardinelli
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Transfoamers: Gears, Hardhead and Duros, Highbrow and Gort, Turbo, Zombie Soundwave w/ Zombie Frenzy, Zombie Extinction Alice, Zombie Apocalypse Alice, Hubcap, Darth Rage (w/ a yellow power ring), Sith Lord #16, Transformers #1-10, Decepticons #8-10, Autobots #1-6, Ghosts #1-8, The Fallen, Starscream's Ghost, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee, (movie) Sideways, (movie) Iron Hide, Outback, Skids and Dark Side Adepts #7-12.
The Right Wing: Poseidon, Silver Surfer, Kit Fisto, Phibians #11-20, Jedi Knights #1A-5A, Mikhail Bakunin, Ariel, Opee Sea Killers #1-8, Jacen Solo, Blue Lantern #2, Martin Blank, Pirates #1-6, Zeus, Capt. Mifune, Shintor Beerus, Pegasus, General Kidd, Right Winger and Left Winger, Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, Darth Malak, Madman, Scrappy-Doo, Batwoman, Jedi Master #18A and Gondor Soldiers #1 and 2.
Let the battle begin. . .
The Titanic cuts through the rough waters. Aboard the immense ocean liner are Jedi Knights #1A-5A, Mikhail Bakunin, Jacen Solo, Pirates #1-6, Capt. Mifune, Shintor Beerus, General Kidd, Right Winger and Left Winger, Elite Storm Troopers #1-6, Darth Malak, Madman, Scrappy-Doo, Batwoman, Jedi Master #18A and Gondor Soldiers #1 and 2. Captain Mifune steers the ship and is assisted by Pirates #1-6.
Captain Mifune: Full steam ahead!!!
The Titanic heads toward the floating city where the Transfoamers wait.
From the Titanic’s hull Captain Mifune and Pirates #1-6 can be heard.
Captain Mifune: I want to be a pirate
Pirate #1: A pirate's life for me
Pirate #2: All my friends are pirates
Pirate #3: And sail the B. B. sea
Pirate #4: I've got a Jolly Roger
Pirate #5: It's black and white and vast
Pirate #6: Get out of your Skull and Crossbones
All: And I'll run it up your mast
The Titanic presses ahead and reaches the floating city. Immediately most of the combatants storm the flotilla; some remain behind.
Dark Side Adepts #7-12 stand behind Sith Lord #16, waiting for the rush of Jedi Knights #1A-5A, Jacen Solo and Shintor Beerus. Jedi Knights #1A-5A battle Dark Side Adepts #7-12. After the fury of the lightsabers crashing into one another, Jedi Knights #1A, 3A-5A are killed, as are Dark Side Adepts #7-8, 11-12. Jacen Solo dispels of remaining Dark Side Adepts #9-10. Meanwhile, Shintor Beerus and Jedi Knight #2A face Sith Lord #16. Sith Lord #16 easily slices through Jedi Knight #2A; no Jedi Knights remain. Solo and Beerus face Sith Lord #16. Sith Lord #16, through some effort, defeats Jacen Solo. Sith Lord #16 is about to succumb to the blade of Beerus when Darth Rage flies upon the scene through the use of his yellow power ring. The combined efforts of both Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16 are too much for the Jedi; Beerus falls. Darth Rage picks up Sith Lord #16 with a yellow projected hand and flies away to the next skirmish.
Zombie Extinction Alice and Zombie Apocalypse Alice face Martin Blank and Gondor Soldiers #1-2. The Alices do spectacular flips and acrobatics while firing their guns at the same time. They shred Gondor Soldiers #1-2 apart. They catapult next to Martin Blank and both bite him on the neck at the same time. The virus scours through Blank’s system and he becomes a zombie. Zombie Martin Blank has each Zombie Alice adorning his arms.
The Zombie trio meets Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, along with Right Winger and Left Winger. Elite Stormtroopers #1-6 know that they will not be successful in killing all three zombies and thus, focus on only one. They blow Martin Blank’s head off before he can do any damage. The Zombie Alices fire upon and kill all Elite Stormtroopers #1-6. While the Alices’ focus was on the destruction of the Empire’s minions, the Wingers combine their efforts to sneak behind and kill Zombie Apocalypse Alice. Zombie Extinction Alice is enraged and does not think as she kills the two Wingers by ripping their heads off. Right Winger and Left Winger will not be resurrected into zombies, but Alice has obtained her vengeance for having both her boyfriend Blank and “sister” die at the others’ hands. Zombie Apocalypse Alice rushes away and is unexpectedly flattened by a large blue mass. Alice is squished and her head pops off her body at the hand (or ring) of Blue Lantern #2. As Blue Lantern #2 flies away, he is met by Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16; Blue Lantern #2 is killed by both.
The two Sith fly on and are crashed into by Darth Malak riding Pegasus. Malak rides the winged steed and gains the advantage due to the aerial combat skills of the horse. Pegasus positions his rider so that Malak is able to slice Sith Lord #16 in half. Darth Malak and Pegasus begin to battle Darth Rage. Although Malak initially has the upper hand due to his better understanding of the dark side, he is concerned that if Rage focuses on Pegasus, he is doomed. Silver Surfer does not allow his teammate to worry further as the herald fires the power cosmic at Darth Rage’s hand. The yellow power ring is seared off his finger. Darth Malak then slices off Darth Rage’s other arm. Rage falls to the waters below. The last things he see are a beautiful mermaid (Ariel) followed by the teeth of the Opee Sea Killers. He is ripped apart by the fish-like creatures.
Poseidon decides to make this match more “to the liking” of his team. He uses a tremendous tidal wave to engulf the city and its remaining inhabitants. The city crashes into the waters and begins to sink. While the platform is going under many of the Transfoamers manage to either jump or attach themselves to the Titanic, or convert to aerial mode and fly away.
Gears is not one of them as he crashes into the water. Before the robot is one hundred feet down, he is met by Phibians #11-20. They surround and assist Gears to his grave as they push him down to the waters below. Gears is heard complaining on the way down just before he implodes when he reaches the critical depth. Phibians #11-20 rise near the surface, waiting for more of the Transfoamers. Hardhead and Duros also crash into the waters. When they hit, they transform into their individual components. Although Hardhead attempts to save his headmaster partner, Duros is ripped apart by the Opee Sea Killers. Hardhead manages to kill Opee Sea Killer #3, but is unsuccessful in killing any more as he drifts to the bottom- and to his doom.
Highbrow and Gort have become a helicopter. They are met by Pegasus and Darth Malak. Although Malak is able to defend himself against the Transformer, he is unable to save Pegasus this time. His horse is blasted from beneath him and Malak begins to fall. Before he hits the waters, Ghosts #1-8 rip through him and kill the Sith Lord. The Ghosts then focus on the ocean liner’s inhabitants.
Madman stands by Scrappy-Doo.
Madman: My little canine friend, I will use my supernatural aptitude to learn how to destroy the ghosts!
Scrappy-Doo: Just let me at them! Let me at them!!!
Madman obtains the answer as to how to beat the spectral enemies, but is unable to relate the information to his teammates before Ghosts #3-7 destroy him. The entire Ghost clan then focuses on Scrappy. They pull the young pup off of the deck and begin to bat him around like a beach ball. Scrappy takes a beating and is thrown back to the liner’s deck. A bloodied Scrappy slowly crawls to where the cabin is. He needs to warn his Pirate teammates and Captain Mifune before the Ghosts can do them harm. Before the Ghosts reach the cabin, Zeus floats to the scene and unleashes his fury. Ghosts #1-8 explode and dissipate to nothingness. Zeus sees a mortally wounded Scrappy-Doo.
Zeus: Oh my little friend. . . .my poor little pup. . . You have done well and will die a glorious death in battle- a true gladiator’s honor.
Scrappy-Doo: Thanks Master Zeus. I am proud to . . . have . . . served . . . with. . . .you. .
Scrappy dies in Zeus’ arms.
Zeus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zeus flies to his aquatic brother, who has witnessed what transpired.
Poseidon: For Scrappy!
Zeus: For Scrappy!
The two gods unleash a fury which rips through the Transfoamers both climbing up the Titanic and well as those in the air and on the surface of the water. As the pandemonium ensues and the immense Titanic is tossed about, a song can be heard being sung by Captain Mifune and the Pirates.
Captain Mifune: Oh, better far to live and die
Pirate #1: Under the brave black flag I fly,
Pirate #2: Than play a sanctimonious part,
Pirate #3: With a pirate head and a pirate heart.
Pirate #4: Away to the cheating world go you,
Pirate #5: Where pirates all are well-to-do;
Pirate #6: But I’ll be true to the song I sing,
All: And live and die a Pirate King.
While the winds rip through the waters, Hubcap, (movie) Jolt, Skids, (movie) Ironhide (movie) Sideways and Outback are ripped from the steam liner’s sides and submersed in the waters below. The robots are met by Kit Fisto along with Phibians #11-20. Fisto uses his lightsaber to slash pieces of Hubcap off. Phibians #11-13 assist the Jedi and push Hubcap to his watery grave. Remaining Phibians #14-20 come together and propel Skids to his doom. Before his destruction though, Skids manages to kill Phibians #15, 17 and 20. The remaining Phibians, along with Kit Fisto, Ariel and Opee Sea Killers #1-2, 4-8 come together and destroy the remaining Transfoamers. Although all of the robots are destroyed, their destruction also brings the deaths of Opee Sea Killers #2 and 7, along with Phibians #11-13.
In the front cabin, General Kidd and Mikhail Bakunin have joined Mifune and the Pirates. They want to be included in the next song. Another verse is never sung as Starscream’s Ghost (which has taken over Decepticon #8), Turbo, and Highbrow and Gort unleash their weapons upon the cabin. General Kidd, Mikhail Bakunin, Captain Mifune and Pirates #1-6 are blown to smithereens.
On deck, (movie) Arcee faces Batwoman and Jedi Master #18A. The robot-mode of Arcee launches herself at Batwoman who jumps over the Transformer. As Arcee turns around she accidentally slips on the deck since her wheels cannot catch the wet surface. She slides past Jedi Master #18A, who slashes her body in two with his lightsaber. Highbrow and Gort, Turbo, and Starscream’s Ghost (as Decepticon #8) focus on the Jedi Master and Batwoman. Both Jedi Master #18A and Batwoman are killed by the flying machines. Silver Surfer flies through the robots and blasts them all with the power cosmic; Decepticon #8-Starscream’s Ghost, Turbo and Highbrow and Gort fall to the waters below in pieces.
Ariel talks to the remaining Opee Sea Killers and Phibians. The giant monstrosities and air-water breathers agree to take some of the Transfoamers that are currently on the ocean liner’s deck to their watery graves. Although they know that it will most likely spell their doom, they are confident that they will be able to take the Transfoamers with them. The Opee Sea Killers and Phibians swim deep below the ship to uncanny depths. They then swim upward, gaining speed as they go and spring forth with such intensity that they are able to knock all Autobots #1-6, along with Zombie Soundwave and Zombie Frenzy into the water. The Sea Killers and Phibians are barraged with the Transformer weapons and eventually succumb to their wounds. Nonetheless, the “commons” have completed their objective – Autobots #1-6, Zombie Soundwave and Zombie Frenzy were destroyed in the melee.
The remaining combatants are Transformers #1-10, Decepticons #9-10 and The Fallen facing off against Poseidon, Silver Surfer, Kit Fisto, Ariel and Zeus. Decepticons #9-10 barrage Kit Fisto with their weapons. The Jedi’s lightsaber can only deflect so many blasts. Kit Fisto is killed.
Ariel remains in the water next to Poseidon.
Ariel: I think it’s time Poseidon.
Poseidon: Yes it is, my dear. Yes it is.
Poseidon uses his powers to engulf the Titanic. The ocean liner cracks in half. Transformers #1-10, Decepticons #9-10 and The Fallen attempt to either latch onto any of the liner’s fragments, or find safe footing while the ship sinks. They are met by the fury of Zeus, Poseidon and the Silver Surfer. All of the remaining Transformers are destroyed, as well as the Titanic, which once again, goes to its watery grave.
The Transfoamers: All killed.
The Right Wing: Zeus, Silver Surfer, Poseidon and Ariel survive.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
-James Berardinelli
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Transfoamers: Gears, Hardhead and Duros, Highbrow and Gort, Turbo, Zombie Soundwave w/ Zombie Frenzy, Zombie Extinction Alice, Zombie Apocalypse Alice, Hubcap, Darth Rage (w/ a yellow power ring), Sith Lord #16, Transformers #1-10, Decepticons #8-10, Autobots #1-6, Ghosts #1-8, The Fallen, Starscream's Ghost, (movie) Jolt, (movie) Arcee, (movie) Sideways, (movie) Iron Hide, Outback, Skids and Dark Side Adepts #7-12.
The Right Wing: Poseidon, Silver Surfer, Kit Fisto, Phibians #11-20, Jedi Knights #1A-5A, Mikhail Bakunin, Ariel, Opee Sea Killers #1-8, Jacen Solo, Blue Lantern #2, Martin Blank, Pirates #1-6, Zeus, Capt. Mifune, Shintor Beerus, Pegasus, General Kidd, Right Winger and Left Winger, Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, Darth Malak, Madman, Scrappy-Doo, Batwoman, Jedi Master #18A and Gondor Soldiers #1 and 2.
Let the battle begin. . .
The Titanic cuts through the rough waters. Aboard the immense ocean liner are Jedi Knights #1A-5A, Mikhail Bakunin, Jacen Solo, Pirates #1-6, Capt. Mifune, Shintor Beerus, General Kidd, Right Winger and Left Winger, Elite Storm Troopers #1-6, Darth Malak, Madman, Scrappy-Doo, Batwoman, Jedi Master #18A and Gondor Soldiers #1 and 2. Captain Mifune steers the ship and is assisted by Pirates #1-6.
Captain Mifune: Full steam ahead!!!
The Titanic heads toward the floating city where the Transfoamers wait.
From the Titanic’s hull Captain Mifune and Pirates #1-6 can be heard.
Captain Mifune: I want to be a pirate
Pirate #1: A pirate's life for me
Pirate #2: All my friends are pirates
Pirate #3: And sail the B. B. sea
Pirate #4: I've got a Jolly Roger
Pirate #5: It's black and white and vast
Pirate #6: Get out of your Skull and Crossbones
All: And I'll run it up your mast
The Titanic presses ahead and reaches the floating city. Immediately most of the combatants storm the flotilla; some remain behind.
Dark Side Adepts #7-12 stand behind Sith Lord #16, waiting for the rush of Jedi Knights #1A-5A, Jacen Solo and Shintor Beerus. Jedi Knights #1A-5A battle Dark Side Adepts #7-12. After the fury of the lightsabers crashing into one another, Jedi Knights #1A, 3A-5A are killed, as are Dark Side Adepts #7-8, 11-12. Jacen Solo dispels of remaining Dark Side Adepts #9-10. Meanwhile, Shintor Beerus and Jedi Knight #2A face Sith Lord #16. Sith Lord #16 easily slices through Jedi Knight #2A; no Jedi Knights remain. Solo and Beerus face Sith Lord #16. Sith Lord #16, through some effort, defeats Jacen Solo. Sith Lord #16 is about to succumb to the blade of Beerus when Darth Rage flies upon the scene through the use of his yellow power ring. The combined efforts of both Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16 are too much for the Jedi; Beerus falls. Darth Rage picks up Sith Lord #16 with a yellow projected hand and flies away to the next skirmish.
Zombie Extinction Alice and Zombie Apocalypse Alice face Martin Blank and Gondor Soldiers #1-2. The Alices do spectacular flips and acrobatics while firing their guns at the same time. They shred Gondor Soldiers #1-2 apart. They catapult next to Martin Blank and both bite him on the neck at the same time. The virus scours through Blank’s system and he becomes a zombie. Zombie Martin Blank has each Zombie Alice adorning his arms.
The Zombie trio meets Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, along with Right Winger and Left Winger. Elite Stormtroopers #1-6 know that they will not be successful in killing all three zombies and thus, focus on only one. They blow Martin Blank’s head off before he can do any damage. The Zombie Alices fire upon and kill all Elite Stormtroopers #1-6. While the Alices’ focus was on the destruction of the Empire’s minions, the Wingers combine their efforts to sneak behind and kill Zombie Apocalypse Alice. Zombie Extinction Alice is enraged and does not think as she kills the two Wingers by ripping their heads off. Right Winger and Left Winger will not be resurrected into zombies, but Alice has obtained her vengeance for having both her boyfriend Blank and “sister” die at the others’ hands. Zombie Apocalypse Alice rushes away and is unexpectedly flattened by a large blue mass. Alice is squished and her head pops off her body at the hand (or ring) of Blue Lantern #2. As Blue Lantern #2 flies away, he is met by Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16; Blue Lantern #2 is killed by both.
The two Sith fly on and are crashed into by Darth Malak riding Pegasus. Malak rides the winged steed and gains the advantage due to the aerial combat skills of the horse. Pegasus positions his rider so that Malak is able to slice Sith Lord #16 in half. Darth Malak and Pegasus begin to battle Darth Rage. Although Malak initially has the upper hand due to his better understanding of the dark side, he is concerned that if Rage focuses on Pegasus, he is doomed. Silver Surfer does not allow his teammate to worry further as the herald fires the power cosmic at Darth Rage’s hand. The yellow power ring is seared off his finger. Darth Malak then slices off Darth Rage’s other arm. Rage falls to the waters below. The last things he see are a beautiful mermaid (Ariel) followed by the teeth of the Opee Sea Killers. He is ripped apart by the fish-like creatures.
Poseidon decides to make this match more “to the liking” of his team. He uses a tremendous tidal wave to engulf the city and its remaining inhabitants. The city crashes into the waters and begins to sink. While the platform is going under many of the Transfoamers manage to either jump or attach themselves to the Titanic, or convert to aerial mode and fly away.
Gears is not one of them as he crashes into the water. Before the robot is one hundred feet down, he is met by Phibians #11-20. They surround and assist Gears to his grave as they push him down to the waters below. Gears is heard complaining on the way down just before he implodes when he reaches the critical depth. Phibians #11-20 rise near the surface, waiting for more of the Transfoamers. Hardhead and Duros also crash into the waters. When they hit, they transform into their individual components. Although Hardhead attempts to save his headmaster partner, Duros is ripped apart by the Opee Sea Killers. Hardhead manages to kill Opee Sea Killer #3, but is unsuccessful in killing any more as he drifts to the bottom- and to his doom.
Highbrow and Gort have become a helicopter. They are met by Pegasus and Darth Malak. Although Malak is able to defend himself against the Transformer, he is unable to save Pegasus this time. His horse is blasted from beneath him and Malak begins to fall. Before he hits the waters, Ghosts #1-8 rip through him and kill the Sith Lord. The Ghosts then focus on the ocean liner’s inhabitants.
Madman stands by Scrappy-Doo.
Madman: My little canine friend, I will use my supernatural aptitude to learn how to destroy the ghosts!
Scrappy-Doo: Just let me at them! Let me at them!!!
Madman obtains the answer as to how to beat the spectral enemies, but is unable to relate the information to his teammates before Ghosts #3-7 destroy him. The entire Ghost clan then focuses on Scrappy. They pull the young pup off of the deck and begin to bat him around like a beach ball. Scrappy takes a beating and is thrown back to the liner’s deck. A bloodied Scrappy slowly crawls to where the cabin is. He needs to warn his Pirate teammates and Captain Mifune before the Ghosts can do them harm. Before the Ghosts reach the cabin, Zeus floats to the scene and unleashes his fury. Ghosts #1-8 explode and dissipate to nothingness. Zeus sees a mortally wounded Scrappy-Doo.
Zeus: Oh my little friend. . . .my poor little pup. . . You have done well and will die a glorious death in battle- a true gladiator’s honor.
Scrappy-Doo: Thanks Master Zeus. I am proud to . . . have . . . served . . . with. . . .you. .
Scrappy dies in Zeus’ arms.
Zeus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zeus flies to his aquatic brother, who has witnessed what transpired.
Poseidon: For Scrappy!
Zeus: For Scrappy!
The two gods unleash a fury which rips through the Transfoamers both climbing up the Titanic and well as those in the air and on the surface of the water. As the pandemonium ensues and the immense Titanic is tossed about, a song can be heard being sung by Captain Mifune and the Pirates.
Captain Mifune: Oh, better far to live and die
Pirate #1: Under the brave black flag I fly,
Pirate #2: Than play a sanctimonious part,
Pirate #3: With a pirate head and a pirate heart.
Pirate #4: Away to the cheating world go you,
Pirate #5: Where pirates all are well-to-do;
Pirate #6: But I’ll be true to the song I sing,
All: And live and die a Pirate King.
While the winds rip through the waters, Hubcap, (movie) Jolt, Skids, (movie) Ironhide (movie) Sideways and Outback are ripped from the steam liner’s sides and submersed in the waters below. The robots are met by Kit Fisto along with Phibians #11-20. Fisto uses his lightsaber to slash pieces of Hubcap off. Phibians #11-13 assist the Jedi and push Hubcap to his watery grave. Remaining Phibians #14-20 come together and propel Skids to his doom. Before his destruction though, Skids manages to kill Phibians #15, 17 and 20. The remaining Phibians, along with Kit Fisto, Ariel and Opee Sea Killers #1-2, 4-8 come together and destroy the remaining Transfoamers. Although all of the robots are destroyed, their destruction also brings the deaths of Opee Sea Killers #2 and 7, along with Phibians #11-13.
In the front cabin, General Kidd and Mikhail Bakunin have joined Mifune and the Pirates. They want to be included in the next song. Another verse is never sung as Starscream’s Ghost (which has taken over Decepticon #8), Turbo, and Highbrow and Gort unleash their weapons upon the cabin. General Kidd, Mikhail Bakunin, Captain Mifune and Pirates #1-6 are blown to smithereens.
On deck, (movie) Arcee faces Batwoman and Jedi Master #18A. The robot-mode of Arcee launches herself at Batwoman who jumps over the Transformer. As Arcee turns around she accidentally slips on the deck since her wheels cannot catch the wet surface. She slides past Jedi Master #18A, who slashes her body in two with his lightsaber. Highbrow and Gort, Turbo, and Starscream’s Ghost (as Decepticon #8) focus on the Jedi Master and Batwoman. Both Jedi Master #18A and Batwoman are killed by the flying machines. Silver Surfer flies through the robots and blasts them all with the power cosmic; Decepticon #8-Starscream’s Ghost, Turbo and Highbrow and Gort fall to the waters below in pieces.
Ariel talks to the remaining Opee Sea Killers and Phibians. The giant monstrosities and air-water breathers agree to take some of the Transfoamers that are currently on the ocean liner’s deck to their watery graves. Although they know that it will most likely spell their doom, they are confident that they will be able to take the Transfoamers with them. The Opee Sea Killers and Phibians swim deep below the ship to uncanny depths. They then swim upward, gaining speed as they go and spring forth with such intensity that they are able to knock all Autobots #1-6, along with Zombie Soundwave and Zombie Frenzy into the water. The Sea Killers and Phibians are barraged with the Transformer weapons and eventually succumb to their wounds. Nonetheless, the “commons” have completed their objective – Autobots #1-6, Zombie Soundwave and Zombie Frenzy were destroyed in the melee.
The remaining combatants are Transformers #1-10, Decepticons #9-10 and The Fallen facing off against Poseidon, Silver Surfer, Kit Fisto, Ariel and Zeus. Decepticons #9-10 barrage Kit Fisto with their weapons. The Jedi’s lightsaber can only deflect so many blasts. Kit Fisto is killed.
Ariel remains in the water next to Poseidon.
Ariel: I think it’s time Poseidon.
Poseidon: Yes it is, my dear. Yes it is.
Poseidon uses his powers to engulf the Titanic. The ocean liner cracks in half. Transformers #1-10, Decepticons #9-10 and The Fallen attempt to either latch onto any of the liner’s fragments, or find safe footing while the ship sinks. They are met by the fury of Zeus, Poseidon and the Silver Surfer. All of the remaining Transformers are destroyed, as well as the Titanic, which once again, goes to its watery grave.
The Transfoamers: All killed.
The Right Wing: Zeus, Silver Surfer, Poseidon and Ariel survive.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Horsemen of Apokolips vs. Alice's Wonder Team
“In the future, the polar ice caps have melted, the world is covered by water, and everyone is left to fend for themselves as scavengers in a grim reality. This is WATERWORLD.”
-Christopher Null
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Horsemen of Apokolips: The Celestial Fourth Host: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester, Seaworms #1-8, The Seacons: Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, Snaptrap and Tentakill, Percy Jackson, Superboy Prime, Tommy Oliver, The Master, Apocalypse, Exodus and Navy SEAL #1.
Alice’s Wonder Team: The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, True Q, The Q Representitive, Lady Q, q and Quinn, General Zod, The Anti-Monitor, The Spectre, Sharkticons #11-36, Goblins #4-6, Ewok #47 and Treasure Troll #17.
Let the battle begin. . .
Above the Water
The cosmic and celestial entities face one another. They do not spare a moment’s glance at the other combatants in the match since, as far as they are concerned, they are inconsequential. The battle will be won by either the Celestial Fourth Host, or the Q Continuum. The duelers’ feet float just above the waters. Utter silence engulfs the area as all members of each team focus on the scene. In the next instant, the cosmic forces and blasts are ripping through the waters and ripping through the fighters. At the end of the battle, all are lost. The Q Continuum - Q, Q2, True Q, The Q Representative, Lady Q, q, and Quinn are tattered remains. The Celestial Fourth Host: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester are scorched pieces of armor. Both sides have wiped each other out.
In the Water
Sharkticons #11-36 note the great disturbance above the water, but determine that it should have no effect on their mission, which is to destroy Seaworms #1-8. The Sharkticons whip themselves into a frenzy and attack the Seaworms with voracious tenacity. Seaworms #3, 6 and 8 are instantly ripped apart. The remaining Seaworms manage to destroy Sharkticons #11-13 and 20-24, but soon succumb to the relentless gnashing and biting of the Sharkticons. Seaworms #1-2, 4-5 and 7 are destroyed, but with their destruction comes the annihilation of Sharkticons #14-17 and 33-36. The Horsemen’s Seaworms have done what is necessary to gain an advantage for the Seacons, which swim to the scene. The Seacons are in their alternate modes and battle the remaining Sharkticons, being #18-19 and #25-32. Snaptrap destroys Sharkticons #18-19. Tentakill destroys Sharkticons #25 and 28. Seawing destroys Sharkticons #26 and 32. Overbite destroys Sharkticons #27 and 29. Although the remaining Sharkticons manage to bang up both Nautilator and Skalor, with the assistance of their more aggressive and better-abled teammates, they overcome the remaining Sharkticons #30-31. All Sharkticons #11-36 have been destroyed through the combined efforts of the Seacons and Seaworms.
At the Outpost
Navy Seal #1 runs along the steel-drummed flotilla at Ewok #47. Ewok #47 scampers up a rope ladder to the second floor of the platform. Navy Seal #1 follows him and as he nears the top, Treasure Troll #17 cuts the ladder’s rope. As the rope falls, Navy Seal #1 manages to reach a post jutting from the wall. The Seal shimmies up the post to the second floor. Navy Seal #1 is extremely agitated at nearly being killed by a “teddy bear” and “glow-‘froed midget.” Navy Seal #1 locates both and dispels with his gun; he will use his knife to savor the kills. Navy Seal #1 guts both Ewok #47 and Treasure Troll #17. As the Navy Seal cleans the knife on his pant-leg, he is converged upon by Goblins #4-6. Navy Seal #1 quickly drops his knife and pulls his gun. Although he shoots Goblin #4, Goblins #5 and 6 overpower and kill him. Percy Jackson and The Master see Goblins #5 and #6. Jackson uses his abilities to channel a water flow to knock Goblins #4 and 5 off the second floor to the main level of the platform. The Goblins are stunned. They are never able to regain their composure as both The Master and Tommy Oliver come upon the Goblins and kill them. In a vengeance driven rampage, as is typical for the Spectre, the embodiment of G-d’s anger comes upon the three Horsemen- Oliver, Master and Jackson. The Spectre uses his powers to rip planks from the platform and splinter them into hundreds of sharpened projectiles. The Spectre then sends them the Master’s way. The wooden stakes skewer the Master, who bursts into flames and becomes a cinder pile. Both Tommy Oliver and Percy Jackson jump into the water, away from the wrath of the Spectre.
In the Air above the Outpost
General Zod and Superman Prime are in a pitched battle. The two evenly matched participants pummel one another while deflecting enough of the other’s onslaught. No true “upperhand” can be held by either combatant. Exodus suddenly teleports behind Zod and holds the super-villain. This is the advantage that Superman Prime needs. With both Exodus and Superman Prime battling Zod, the “upperhand” is eventually obtained by the Horsemen. After moments of sheer blunt force trauma being applied to Zod’s head by Superman Prime, Zod’s beaten and nearly unconscious body falls to the water. The Seacons see Zod and transform into Piranacon. Piranacon rips a weakened Zod apart.
In the Waters next to the Outpost
The Anti-Monitor unleashes the full extent of his cosmic powers and rips apart Piranacon. Nautilator and Skalor are instantly destroyed; Overbite, Seawing, Snaptrap and Tentakill are damaged, but still functional. They join both Percy Jackson and Tommy Oliver. As the quad of Transformers swim with Oliver and Jackson, they are confronted by the Spectre. This time the duo that fled him the first time will not escape. The Spectre uses his powers without hesitation to kill both Oliver and Jackson. The Seacons, meanwhile, attack the Spectre. Although the Spectre fights valiantly, his aggressive powers begin to wane. Anti-Monitor sees his teammate in trouble and finishes the job he set out to do in the first place by destroying the remaining Seacons- Overbite, Seawing, Snaptrap and Tentakill.
The Outpost
The Spectre climbs the ladder back to the Outpost where Anti-Monitor is waiting. The titans of both teams face off against one another. The scene mirrors that from the beginning of the match. Superman Prime, Apocalypse and Exodus face the Spectre and Anti-Monitor. Taking advantage of the still weakened state of the Spectre, both Exodus and Apocalypse focus their abilities upon him. Apocalypse uses the full force of both his psionic powers and energy manipulation to lash out at the Spectre. Meanwhile, Exodus uses his superhuman abilities. The combined efforts of the two defeat the Spectre. Anti-Monitor, meanwhile, has destroyed Superboy Prime during the Spectre melee. Anti-Monitor then uses his cosmic powers upon Exodus and kills him. Just as Anti-Monitor is about to reach his Horsemen kill tri-fecta, Apocalypse uses his access to celestial technology to obtain a device which will defeat Anti-Monitor. Apocalypse uses the device to augment Anti-Monitor’s powers to such an extent that they eventually engulf the villain. An explosion occurs and no remains are left behind of the Anti-Monitor. Apocalypse thinks to himself that it is fitting that the only survivor of this battle is his team’s namesake.
The Horsemen of Apokolips: Apocalypse survives.
Alice’s Wonder Team: All dead.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
-Christopher Null
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Horsemen of Apokolips: The Celestial Fourth Host: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester, Seaworms #1-8, The Seacons: Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, Snaptrap and Tentakill, Percy Jackson, Superboy Prime, Tommy Oliver, The Master, Apocalypse, Exodus and Navy SEAL #1.
Alice’s Wonder Team: The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, True Q, The Q Representitive, Lady Q, q and Quinn, General Zod, The Anti-Monitor, The Spectre, Sharkticons #11-36, Goblins #4-6, Ewok #47 and Treasure Troll #17.
Let the battle begin. . .
Above the Water
The cosmic and celestial entities face one another. They do not spare a moment’s glance at the other combatants in the match since, as far as they are concerned, they are inconsequential. The battle will be won by either the Celestial Fourth Host, or the Q Continuum. The duelers’ feet float just above the waters. Utter silence engulfs the area as all members of each team focus on the scene. In the next instant, the cosmic forces and blasts are ripping through the waters and ripping through the fighters. At the end of the battle, all are lost. The Q Continuum - Q, Q2, True Q, The Q Representative, Lady Q, q, and Quinn are tattered remains. The Celestial Fourth Host: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester are scorched pieces of armor. Both sides have wiped each other out.
In the Water
Sharkticons #11-36 note the great disturbance above the water, but determine that it should have no effect on their mission, which is to destroy Seaworms #1-8. The Sharkticons whip themselves into a frenzy and attack the Seaworms with voracious tenacity. Seaworms #3, 6 and 8 are instantly ripped apart. The remaining Seaworms manage to destroy Sharkticons #11-13 and 20-24, but soon succumb to the relentless gnashing and biting of the Sharkticons. Seaworms #1-2, 4-5 and 7 are destroyed, but with their destruction comes the annihilation of Sharkticons #14-17 and 33-36. The Horsemen’s Seaworms have done what is necessary to gain an advantage for the Seacons, which swim to the scene. The Seacons are in their alternate modes and battle the remaining Sharkticons, being #18-19 and #25-32. Snaptrap destroys Sharkticons #18-19. Tentakill destroys Sharkticons #25 and 28. Seawing destroys Sharkticons #26 and 32. Overbite destroys Sharkticons #27 and 29. Although the remaining Sharkticons manage to bang up both Nautilator and Skalor, with the assistance of their more aggressive and better-abled teammates, they overcome the remaining Sharkticons #30-31. All Sharkticons #11-36 have been destroyed through the combined efforts of the Seacons and Seaworms.
At the Outpost
Navy Seal #1 runs along the steel-drummed flotilla at Ewok #47. Ewok #47 scampers up a rope ladder to the second floor of the platform. Navy Seal #1 follows him and as he nears the top, Treasure Troll #17 cuts the ladder’s rope. As the rope falls, Navy Seal #1 manages to reach a post jutting from the wall. The Seal shimmies up the post to the second floor. Navy Seal #1 is extremely agitated at nearly being killed by a “teddy bear” and “glow-‘froed midget.” Navy Seal #1 locates both and dispels with his gun; he will use his knife to savor the kills. Navy Seal #1 guts both Ewok #47 and Treasure Troll #17. As the Navy Seal cleans the knife on his pant-leg, he is converged upon by Goblins #4-6. Navy Seal #1 quickly drops his knife and pulls his gun. Although he shoots Goblin #4, Goblins #5 and 6 overpower and kill him. Percy Jackson and The Master see Goblins #5 and #6. Jackson uses his abilities to channel a water flow to knock Goblins #4 and 5 off the second floor to the main level of the platform. The Goblins are stunned. They are never able to regain their composure as both The Master and Tommy Oliver come upon the Goblins and kill them. In a vengeance driven rampage, as is typical for the Spectre, the embodiment of G-d’s anger comes upon the three Horsemen- Oliver, Master and Jackson. The Spectre uses his powers to rip planks from the platform and splinter them into hundreds of sharpened projectiles. The Spectre then sends them the Master’s way. The wooden stakes skewer the Master, who bursts into flames and becomes a cinder pile. Both Tommy Oliver and Percy Jackson jump into the water, away from the wrath of the Spectre.
In the Air above the Outpost
General Zod and Superman Prime are in a pitched battle. The two evenly matched participants pummel one another while deflecting enough of the other’s onslaught. No true “upperhand” can be held by either combatant. Exodus suddenly teleports behind Zod and holds the super-villain. This is the advantage that Superman Prime needs. With both Exodus and Superman Prime battling Zod, the “upperhand” is eventually obtained by the Horsemen. After moments of sheer blunt force trauma being applied to Zod’s head by Superman Prime, Zod’s beaten and nearly unconscious body falls to the water. The Seacons see Zod and transform into Piranacon. Piranacon rips a weakened Zod apart.
In the Waters next to the Outpost
The Anti-Monitor unleashes the full extent of his cosmic powers and rips apart Piranacon. Nautilator and Skalor are instantly destroyed; Overbite, Seawing, Snaptrap and Tentakill are damaged, but still functional. They join both Percy Jackson and Tommy Oliver. As the quad of Transformers swim with Oliver and Jackson, they are confronted by the Spectre. This time the duo that fled him the first time will not escape. The Spectre uses his powers without hesitation to kill both Oliver and Jackson. The Seacons, meanwhile, attack the Spectre. Although the Spectre fights valiantly, his aggressive powers begin to wane. Anti-Monitor sees his teammate in trouble and finishes the job he set out to do in the first place by destroying the remaining Seacons- Overbite, Seawing, Snaptrap and Tentakill.
The Outpost
The Spectre climbs the ladder back to the Outpost where Anti-Monitor is waiting. The titans of both teams face off against one another. The scene mirrors that from the beginning of the match. Superman Prime, Apocalypse and Exodus face the Spectre and Anti-Monitor. Taking advantage of the still weakened state of the Spectre, both Exodus and Apocalypse focus their abilities upon him. Apocalypse uses the full force of both his psionic powers and energy manipulation to lash out at the Spectre. Meanwhile, Exodus uses his superhuman abilities. The combined efforts of the two defeat the Spectre. Anti-Monitor, meanwhile, has destroyed Superboy Prime during the Spectre melee. Anti-Monitor then uses his cosmic powers upon Exodus and kills him. Just as Anti-Monitor is about to reach his Horsemen kill tri-fecta, Apocalypse uses his access to celestial technology to obtain a device which will defeat Anti-Monitor. Apocalypse uses the device to augment Anti-Monitor’s powers to such an extent that they eventually engulf the villain. An explosion occurs and no remains are left behind of the Anti-Monitor. Apocalypse thinks to himself that it is fitting that the only survivor of this battle is his team’s namesake.
The Horsemen of Apokolips: Apocalypse survives.
Alice’s Wonder Team: All dead.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Season Three: Week Four: Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyaatches vs. The Abomitrons
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches are Arkillo, Dark Phoenix, Mogo, Ranx the Sentient City, Orion, Cyclonus & his Armada, Krypto, Trigger Happy and Blow Pipe, Brood #7-9, War Skrull #7,8 & 10, Sentinal #3-8, The One Above All and Storm Trooper #15 in a Z-95 Headhunter.
The Abomitrons are Immell #1 (Cyborg Norris), Immell #2-5 (Battledae, Rob Murray, Paddle & The Captain) in Blackbird 1, Immell #6 (Mega-borg), Immell #10 & 11 (Jedi Fire & Raven Knight), Immell #12 (Captain Malcolm Ocean), Immell #13 (Zengler), Immell #18 (Dr. Ray Wookie) & Falco in a Naboo Yacht, Immell #20 (Iron Jedi), Zombie Neo, Mega Man and Rush, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, Underdog, Cerberus, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson & Kevin, Tom & Jerry, Goofy & Pluto, Kyle and Zachary, Captain Underpants, Ultra Boy, Fineas, Ferb & Perry, Abin Sur, Baby Colossus, Montross, Zombie Jimmy Neutron, Zombie Tails, Zombie Scooby Dumb, Zombie #1 & 2, Horribul & Creb, Mountain Dew Transformer, Football Transformer, Zufa Cenva, Ewok Child #1, Starship Trooper #51-56, Purple Muscle Man #1 & Pink Muscle Man #1 & 2.
Space, the final frontier.
More like the final resting spot for one of these teams. Ha HA HAA!!!
May I also add that I wasn’t aware that space could be ugly looking. The Rishey Mayes system is one nasty thing. If I only had three words to describe what this system looked like it would be ugly, ugly and ugly. With all the silverware back in the drawer though, let’s get this wild ride underway.
Arkillo: “Is that what I think it is?”
Orion: “Yeah, it kind hurts my brain to even think about it”
The One Above All: “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. It’s so exciting to see something so weird. Can I do it? Can I do it? PLEASSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”
Arkillo: “Oh my god, if it shuts you up, fine do it. I am sick of even looking at the thing.”
The One Above All: “Yaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
And like that, the Naboo Yacht and everyone on board were dead and gone.
Arkillo: “Good job Onesy. Let’s blow the lid off this soup can and kill the rest of them.”
The One Above All: (In a sing-songy sort of way) “Oh boy do I love a good killin, killin is alright with me. Watching them run, it’s oh so much fun, and the best of all is it’s free”
Orion: “This is even more embarrassing then the Yacht, is there any way to shut this guy up?”
Arkillo: “I don’t have a clue. I suppose we could just point him to that cluster of people over there.”
Orion: “Yeah, I suppose your right. I can’t believe people actually pray to this guy.”
The One Above All: “Then I take the bacon out of the fridge and put butter in the pan. It tastes so good when it’s all finished. Yummy yummy yum yum yum. I’m a hungry dungry mister man.”
Arkillo at this point is so beyond humiliated at his teammate, that it pains him to even acknowledge his presence.
Arkillo: “Hey kiddo, how you doing over there.”
The One Above All: “Hey Arky, what's the what?”
Arkillo: (Rolling his eyes) “I saw some people over there, they look like they might be fun to play with. Maybe you could even pick a fight with them. Maybe you could try to kill them?”
The One Above All: “Oh boy Arky, do you really think so?”
Arkillo: “I really do. Now why don’t you get a move on and see what they are up to.”
The One Above All: “Okay Arky, I’ll be back soon with some new friends.”
The One Above All is takes off towards the majority of the Abomitrons team.
Orion: “Do you really think he can take on their whole team?”
Arkillo: “Does it matter? I would have literally thrown this match to get rid of him. Now let’s get everyone together and actually try to do something.
Orion: “Yeah, alright.”
Arkillo and Orion take off towards the rest of their team when Arkillo notices something else that seems out of the ordinary. They see what seems to be some sort of advanced jet flying through space. Not a spaceship per say, but a regular earth bound jet somehow being propelled through space.
Arkillo: “What the…how is that jet moving through space? I mean, come on”
Orion: “You know, for a guy without a tongue, you sure do talk a lot.”
Arkillo: “Lantern powers baby, can’t beat em.”
Orion: “Yeah, despite my pretty awesome powers, I always have wished I had a ring. It just seems way too cool.”
Arkillo: “Your not wrong. The best way I can think to describe how great it is having a ring, is by saying that it is like always having an ice-cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade. No matter how you are feeling, you just take a swig of it and you feel like a million bucks.”
Orion: “Man that sounds good.”
Arkillo: “It’s really good man. In fact, oh yeah, just took a swig a second ago. Ahhhh, tastes good every time.”
Orion: “Can I have sip?”
Arkillo: “If I could, I would. But I can’t and that’s just the way it is.”
Orion: “Bummer. I could really go for some lanternade.”
The Blackbird Jet continued to approach the wordy Backyardigans when out of nowhere, Cyborg Norris came busting out of the jet and began attacking both of the super powered beings. Cyborg Norris got a couple of great hits on Orion, but it didn’t do too much damage on the son of Darkseid. Norris then was about to turn his attention on Arkillo, but realized he did not have to. Out of the shadows of this ugly space came perhaps the Abomitrons best player. Abin Sur began to beat the crap out of Arkillo, quickly taking the yellow lantern holder down to the deeper reaches of space. These four super powered characters continued to beat on each other while the rest of the match began to really heat up.
Immell’s #2-5 were still alone in their jet when Storm Trooper #15 did a fly by of the now vulnerable ship. Cyborg Norris thought he was doing his teammates a favor by taking on his opponents by himself, but in the long run his decision was going to hold the consequence of being the reason his fellow jet bound teammates were all dead. After that first fly-by in his Z-95 Headhunter, Storm Trooper #15 unloaded a hell-fire of laser blasts down on his enemies ship, turning it into a ball of flames.
On the other side of the playing field, The One Above All was wiping people out left and right. First he killed the Muscle men and then he killed Montross. After that Goofy and Pluto went down and before long, both Baby Colossus along with Starship Troopers #51-53.
Mega Man: “Come on Rush, if we don’t try something on this guy, were all gonna be wiped out”
Fineas: “Hey Mega Man, I have an idea. Have you noticed that the mentally challenged god like thing isn’t doing anything to the Zombies? I think he is unable to touch them because they are abominations of nature. I think if we somehow can turn that undead energy back onto him, we might have a chance at destroying him.”
Ferb: “That is a very solid sounding plan Fineas, I think it might just work. We need to gather the Zombies together at once.”
As all of the Transformers were some how keeping the not so gentle god at bay, Mega Man, Rush, Fineas, Ferb and Perry were all gathering the Zombies together. Though they were of the undead variety at this point, Zombie Neo and Zombie Jimmy Neutron still had they powers available to them. After some sweet strategizing, Mega Man and his crew were able to get their plan into action.
All at once everyone who was able to fire on The One Above all began to do so, which stunted his movement ever so slightly. It was enough time for Jimmy Neutron to move his rusty spaceship close enough to the god to get into range. Zombie Neo then rushed the god, head on as a diversion, as he was not the endgame to this very tricky move. Just as Neo stood in defiance to the god, Zufa Cenva let out a concentrated telepathic blast that ripped through the Zombies, but in turn, wiped out The One Above All for good.
Mega Man: “Alright, it worked”
Ferb: “It did, but I didn’t expect it to kill so many of our people.”
Fineas: “Yeah, I am not sure that was worth it.”
Zufa Cenva who actually survived the telepathic blast, looked at her teammates and said, “Look, the god is dead. That is all that matters at this point. Now let’s get ourselves back together and keep bringing it to them.”
Mega Man, Fineas & Ferb look deflated, but are still anxious to take this match back.
Zufa Cenva: “Raven, I am still very weak, but do you think you might be able to give me some of my power back.”
Dark Phoenix: “Even if she could, I doubt it would help.”
After she says this, the Dark Phoenix unleashes a psionic blast that wipes out Zufa, Fineas, Ferb, Perry, Mega Man, Rush and the Mountain Dew Transformer. The remaining Abomintrons were stunned by this incredible attack, but it was not long before the Iron Jedi went back on the offensive. Just as he started to attack his dark opponent though, he noticed several gigantic beings following directly behind her. All six Sentinals along with Cyclonus, his Armada and Trigger Happy and Blow Pipe were behind her. The battle that ensued did not take to long once everybody was there.
Iron Jedi was able to kill the Armada and Blow Pipe but was eventually crushed to death by Sentinal #5. The same went for Horribul & Creb. They were both overpowered by the Dark Phoenix, but not before taking out Trigger Happy and damaging the arm of Sentinal #8. At this point, the Dark Phoenix flew away from the fight for a bit, disappearing into the shadows. This left her teammates without their most powerful ally. It also gave the Abomintrons the in that they had been looking for. Though the Sentinals are huge and rather powerful, they are also not as quick as their opponents or as adept in a fight like this. During this time the Sentinals took a beating. Starfire and Cyborg both rushed in on the injured Sentinal #8 and pounded its head into a pile of dead metal.
Ultra Boy began to attack Sentinal #6 and was able to finally defeat it with the help of Gwen Tennyson’s magic. The Football Transformer put up a good fight against Cyclonus but in the end the purple Cybertronian jet was just too much for him, as he was blasted into a thousand tiny pieces. Cyclonus did not have much time to gloat in his victory though, because moments later he to was a floating pile of scrape from the combined blasts of Starfire, Kevin Levin, who had absorbed the powers of Starfire right before the attack and the Starship Troopers. In the minutes that followed after that, Sentinals #3-5 were also destroyed by the combined efforts of the Teen Titans, Ben Ten force and the remaining Starship Troopers.
With only Sentinals #6 and 7 left, the Abomitrons were feeling rather good again about their chances in this match.
Captain Underpants: “We are doing so good right now. I think I might just go attack those big robots myself.”
Kyle: “Uh, I don’t think that’s a great idea Captain. I’d stay back here with me and my brother for a little while longer.”
Zachary: “Hey Kyle, where did that scary looking lady go?”
Kyle: “I don’t know Zach, I haven’t seen her in a while. I wouldn’t worry about her too much though. I think she is probably bored with us by now.”
Zachary: “You sure about that Kyle. That doesn’t seem like something that someone with those kind of powers would do.”
Kyle: “It will be alright Zach, I wouldn’t worry about that right now. Plus, we have Cerberus to protect us from anything that comes our way.”
Captain Underpants: “You have me as well you guys. I will do anything I can to help protect you children.”
Kyle: “Thanks Cap.””
Zachary: “Ah Kyle, what is that light behind those huge robot things?”
Kyle: “It’s just the star I think.”
Zachary: “The sudden star that is just now appearing in front of us. I don’t think that is just a star.”
Kyle: (Pauses for a second) “Oh shoot, that’s the scary looking lady isn’t it?”
Seconds after Kyle uttered those words, the Dark Phoenix sent an energy blast through both remaining Sentinals (#5 and 6), sending enough shrapnel through the remaining members of the Abomintrons, killing everyone not named Cyborg Norris and Abin Sur.
Speaking of Cyborg Norris and Abin Sur. They’re battle with Arkillo and Orion had been raging on for a long while now, a battle that was starting to fall to the wayside. Though Cyborg Norris had given Orion a tough fight up to this point, nothing seemed to be affecting the new god. Things were going much better for his teammate though, who, after a long and brutal match, had finally managed to knock the yellow ring off of Arkillo’s hand. The second the ring left his finger, Abin Sur went in for the kill, snapping the neck of the Sinestro corp. member.
With the yellow ring floating in space and the thoughts of that sweet sweet lemonade in his mouth, Orion in one quick motion, launched Cyborg Norris into Abin Sur. As Norris slammed into the Green Lantern corp. member, they were both hit with an Astro Force blast that was powerful enough to destroy a small country. The blast instantly killed both remaining members of the Abomintrons. Sealing the deal once and for all for the Backyardigans.
Orion: “Now it’s my turn for the tastiest drink in the universe.”
Dark Phoenix: “Not so fast skippy, that ring doesn’t come in your size.”
Dark Phoenix then turns the ring to dust, basically ruining the day for her immortal teammate.
Orion: “Why would you do that, I want some lemonade to.”
The Phoenix gives her teammate a look and says, “Don’t worry honey, mommy will get you a glass of lemonade when we get home.” The Phoenix then flies away in disgust, wondering why she seems to be the only normal person on her team. As the surviving Backyardigans fly off and away from this battle, the ominous shadows of Mogo and Ranx are seen in the background. Though their presence may have been felt during the match, it was never needed.
Meanwhile, on the surface of Mogo…
War Skrull #7: “When are they going to lead them down here. It’s been hours and I haven’t gotten a signal or anything.”
War Skrull #10: “You sure they even need us. I mean, our team was pretty amazing this week. I kind of just figured we were fillers anyways.”
War Skrull #7: “No way. I talked to The One Above All a bunch of times this week and he said having us, Krypto and the Brood’s down here was the perfect trap for our opponents. Plus, there’s no way we would ever be just fillers.”
War Skrull #8: “Yeah, I don’t know how reliable of a source that guy is. He also told me that if I helped him with that Garfield puzzle last week, he’d turn me into Superman.”
War Skrull #7: “I don’t care what you guys think, we are still needed in this match. I bet you anytime now they are going to be sending them down here for us to attack them. We are very important to this team.”
War Skrull #10: “Yeah, fine whatever. Can you pass the lemonade again, this stuff is really good.”
War Skrull #8: “Yeah I know. I think it is freshly squeezed. I wonder who made it?”
The Abomintrons: All Dead.
Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyaatches: Dark Phoenix, Mogo, Ranx the Sentient City, Orion, Krypto, Brood #7-9, War Skrulls #7,8 & 10, Storm Trooper #15 in a Z-95 Headhunter all survive.
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN'S BEEYAATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
The Abomitrons are Immell #1 (Cyborg Norris), Immell #2-5 (Battledae, Rob Murray, Paddle & The Captain) in Blackbird 1, Immell #6 (Mega-borg), Immell #10 & 11 (Jedi Fire & Raven Knight), Immell #12 (Captain Malcolm Ocean), Immell #13 (Zengler), Immell #18 (Dr. Ray Wookie) & Falco in a Naboo Yacht, Immell #20 (Iron Jedi), Zombie Neo, Mega Man and Rush, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, Underdog, Cerberus, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson & Kevin, Tom & Jerry, Goofy & Pluto, Kyle and Zachary, Captain Underpants, Ultra Boy, Fineas, Ferb & Perry, Abin Sur, Baby Colossus, Montross, Zombie Jimmy Neutron, Zombie Tails, Zombie Scooby Dumb, Zombie #1 & 2, Horribul & Creb, Mountain Dew Transformer, Football Transformer, Zufa Cenva, Ewok Child #1, Starship Trooper #51-56, Purple Muscle Man #1 & Pink Muscle Man #1 & 2.
Space, the final frontier.
More like the final resting spot for one of these teams. Ha HA HAA!!!
May I also add that I wasn’t aware that space could be ugly looking. The Rishey Mayes system is one nasty thing. If I only had three words to describe what this system looked like it would be ugly, ugly and ugly. With all the silverware back in the drawer though, let’s get this wild ride underway.
Arkillo: “Is that what I think it is?”
Orion: “Yeah, it kind hurts my brain to even think about it”
The One Above All: “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. It’s so exciting to see something so weird. Can I do it? Can I do it? PLEASSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”
Arkillo: “Oh my god, if it shuts you up, fine do it. I am sick of even looking at the thing.”
The One Above All: “Yaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
And like that, the Naboo Yacht and everyone on board were dead and gone.
Arkillo: “Good job Onesy. Let’s blow the lid off this soup can and kill the rest of them.”
The One Above All: (In a sing-songy sort of way) “Oh boy do I love a good killin, killin is alright with me. Watching them run, it’s oh so much fun, and the best of all is it’s free”
Orion: “This is even more embarrassing then the Yacht, is there any way to shut this guy up?”
Arkillo: “I don’t have a clue. I suppose we could just point him to that cluster of people over there.”
Orion: “Yeah, I suppose your right. I can’t believe people actually pray to this guy.”
The One Above All: “Then I take the bacon out of the fridge and put butter in the pan. It tastes so good when it’s all finished. Yummy yummy yum yum yum. I’m a hungry dungry mister man.”
Arkillo at this point is so beyond humiliated at his teammate, that it pains him to even acknowledge his presence.
Arkillo: “Hey kiddo, how you doing over there.”
The One Above All: “Hey Arky, what's the what?”
Arkillo: (Rolling his eyes) “I saw some people over there, they look like they might be fun to play with. Maybe you could even pick a fight with them. Maybe you could try to kill them?”
The One Above All: “Oh boy Arky, do you really think so?”
Arkillo: “I really do. Now why don’t you get a move on and see what they are up to.”
The One Above All: “Okay Arky, I’ll be back soon with some new friends.”
The One Above All is takes off towards the majority of the Abomitrons team.
Orion: “Do you really think he can take on their whole team?”
Arkillo: “Does it matter? I would have literally thrown this match to get rid of him. Now let’s get everyone together and actually try to do something.
Orion: “Yeah, alright.”
Arkillo and Orion take off towards the rest of their team when Arkillo notices something else that seems out of the ordinary. They see what seems to be some sort of advanced jet flying through space. Not a spaceship per say, but a regular earth bound jet somehow being propelled through space.
Arkillo: “What the…how is that jet moving through space? I mean, come on”
Orion: “You know, for a guy without a tongue, you sure do talk a lot.”
Arkillo: “Lantern powers baby, can’t beat em.”
Orion: “Yeah, despite my pretty awesome powers, I always have wished I had a ring. It just seems way too cool.”
Arkillo: “Your not wrong. The best way I can think to describe how great it is having a ring, is by saying that it is like always having an ice-cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade. No matter how you are feeling, you just take a swig of it and you feel like a million bucks.”
Orion: “Man that sounds good.”
Arkillo: “It’s really good man. In fact, oh yeah, just took a swig a second ago. Ahhhh, tastes good every time.”
Orion: “Can I have sip?”
Arkillo: “If I could, I would. But I can’t and that’s just the way it is.”
Orion: “Bummer. I could really go for some lanternade.”
The Blackbird Jet continued to approach the wordy Backyardigans when out of nowhere, Cyborg Norris came busting out of the jet and began attacking both of the super powered beings. Cyborg Norris got a couple of great hits on Orion, but it didn’t do too much damage on the son of Darkseid. Norris then was about to turn his attention on Arkillo, but realized he did not have to. Out of the shadows of this ugly space came perhaps the Abomitrons best player. Abin Sur began to beat the crap out of Arkillo, quickly taking the yellow lantern holder down to the deeper reaches of space. These four super powered characters continued to beat on each other while the rest of the match began to really heat up.
Immell’s #2-5 were still alone in their jet when Storm Trooper #15 did a fly by of the now vulnerable ship. Cyborg Norris thought he was doing his teammates a favor by taking on his opponents by himself, but in the long run his decision was going to hold the consequence of being the reason his fellow jet bound teammates were all dead. After that first fly-by in his Z-95 Headhunter, Storm Trooper #15 unloaded a hell-fire of laser blasts down on his enemies ship, turning it into a ball of flames.
On the other side of the playing field, The One Above All was wiping people out left and right. First he killed the Muscle men and then he killed Montross. After that Goofy and Pluto went down and before long, both Baby Colossus along with Starship Troopers #51-53.
Mega Man: “Come on Rush, if we don’t try something on this guy, were all gonna be wiped out”
Fineas: “Hey Mega Man, I have an idea. Have you noticed that the mentally challenged god like thing isn’t doing anything to the Zombies? I think he is unable to touch them because they are abominations of nature. I think if we somehow can turn that undead energy back onto him, we might have a chance at destroying him.”
Ferb: “That is a very solid sounding plan Fineas, I think it might just work. We need to gather the Zombies together at once.”
As all of the Transformers were some how keeping the not so gentle god at bay, Mega Man, Rush, Fineas, Ferb and Perry were all gathering the Zombies together. Though they were of the undead variety at this point, Zombie Neo and Zombie Jimmy Neutron still had they powers available to them. After some sweet strategizing, Mega Man and his crew were able to get their plan into action.
All at once everyone who was able to fire on The One Above all began to do so, which stunted his movement ever so slightly. It was enough time for Jimmy Neutron to move his rusty spaceship close enough to the god to get into range. Zombie Neo then rushed the god, head on as a diversion, as he was not the endgame to this very tricky move. Just as Neo stood in defiance to the god, Zufa Cenva let out a concentrated telepathic blast that ripped through the Zombies, but in turn, wiped out The One Above All for good.
Mega Man: “Alright, it worked”
Ferb: “It did, but I didn’t expect it to kill so many of our people.”
Fineas: “Yeah, I am not sure that was worth it.”
Zufa Cenva who actually survived the telepathic blast, looked at her teammates and said, “Look, the god is dead. That is all that matters at this point. Now let’s get ourselves back together and keep bringing it to them.”
Mega Man, Fineas & Ferb look deflated, but are still anxious to take this match back.
Zufa Cenva: “Raven, I am still very weak, but do you think you might be able to give me some of my power back.”
Dark Phoenix: “Even if she could, I doubt it would help.”
After she says this, the Dark Phoenix unleashes a psionic blast that wipes out Zufa, Fineas, Ferb, Perry, Mega Man, Rush and the Mountain Dew Transformer. The remaining Abomintrons were stunned by this incredible attack, but it was not long before the Iron Jedi went back on the offensive. Just as he started to attack his dark opponent though, he noticed several gigantic beings following directly behind her. All six Sentinals along with Cyclonus, his Armada and Trigger Happy and Blow Pipe were behind her. The battle that ensued did not take to long once everybody was there.
Iron Jedi was able to kill the Armada and Blow Pipe but was eventually crushed to death by Sentinal #5. The same went for Horribul & Creb. They were both overpowered by the Dark Phoenix, but not before taking out Trigger Happy and damaging the arm of Sentinal #8. At this point, the Dark Phoenix flew away from the fight for a bit, disappearing into the shadows. This left her teammates without their most powerful ally. It also gave the Abomintrons the in that they had been looking for. Though the Sentinals are huge and rather powerful, they are also not as quick as their opponents or as adept in a fight like this. During this time the Sentinals took a beating. Starfire and Cyborg both rushed in on the injured Sentinal #8 and pounded its head into a pile of dead metal.
Ultra Boy began to attack Sentinal #6 and was able to finally defeat it with the help of Gwen Tennyson’s magic. The Football Transformer put up a good fight against Cyclonus but in the end the purple Cybertronian jet was just too much for him, as he was blasted into a thousand tiny pieces. Cyclonus did not have much time to gloat in his victory though, because moments later he to was a floating pile of scrape from the combined blasts of Starfire, Kevin Levin, who had absorbed the powers of Starfire right before the attack and the Starship Troopers. In the minutes that followed after that, Sentinals #3-5 were also destroyed by the combined efforts of the Teen Titans, Ben Ten force and the remaining Starship Troopers.
With only Sentinals #6 and 7 left, the Abomitrons were feeling rather good again about their chances in this match.
Captain Underpants: “We are doing so good right now. I think I might just go attack those big robots myself.”
Kyle: “Uh, I don’t think that’s a great idea Captain. I’d stay back here with me and my brother for a little while longer.”
Zachary: “Hey Kyle, where did that scary looking lady go?”
Kyle: “I don’t know Zach, I haven’t seen her in a while. I wouldn’t worry about her too much though. I think she is probably bored with us by now.”
Zachary: “You sure about that Kyle. That doesn’t seem like something that someone with those kind of powers would do.”
Kyle: “It will be alright Zach, I wouldn’t worry about that right now. Plus, we have Cerberus to protect us from anything that comes our way.”
Captain Underpants: “You have me as well you guys. I will do anything I can to help protect you children.”
Kyle: “Thanks Cap.””
Zachary: “Ah Kyle, what is that light behind those huge robot things?”
Kyle: “It’s just the star I think.”
Zachary: “The sudden star that is just now appearing in front of us. I don’t think that is just a star.”
Kyle: (Pauses for a second) “Oh shoot, that’s the scary looking lady isn’t it?”
Seconds after Kyle uttered those words, the Dark Phoenix sent an energy blast through both remaining Sentinals (#5 and 6), sending enough shrapnel through the remaining members of the Abomintrons, killing everyone not named Cyborg Norris and Abin Sur.
Speaking of Cyborg Norris and Abin Sur. They’re battle with Arkillo and Orion had been raging on for a long while now, a battle that was starting to fall to the wayside. Though Cyborg Norris had given Orion a tough fight up to this point, nothing seemed to be affecting the new god. Things were going much better for his teammate though, who, after a long and brutal match, had finally managed to knock the yellow ring off of Arkillo’s hand. The second the ring left his finger, Abin Sur went in for the kill, snapping the neck of the Sinestro corp. member.
With the yellow ring floating in space and the thoughts of that sweet sweet lemonade in his mouth, Orion in one quick motion, launched Cyborg Norris into Abin Sur. As Norris slammed into the Green Lantern corp. member, they were both hit with an Astro Force blast that was powerful enough to destroy a small country. The blast instantly killed both remaining members of the Abomintrons. Sealing the deal once and for all for the Backyardigans.
Orion: “Now it’s my turn for the tastiest drink in the universe.”
Dark Phoenix: “Not so fast skippy, that ring doesn’t come in your size.”
Dark Phoenix then turns the ring to dust, basically ruining the day for her immortal teammate.
Orion: “Why would you do that, I want some lemonade to.”
The Phoenix gives her teammate a look and says, “Don’t worry honey, mommy will get you a glass of lemonade when we get home.” The Phoenix then flies away in disgust, wondering why she seems to be the only normal person on her team. As the surviving Backyardigans fly off and away from this battle, the ominous shadows of Mogo and Ranx are seen in the background. Though their presence may have been felt during the match, it was never needed.
Meanwhile, on the surface of Mogo…
War Skrull #7: “When are they going to lead them down here. It’s been hours and I haven’t gotten a signal or anything.”
War Skrull #10: “You sure they even need us. I mean, our team was pretty amazing this week. I kind of just figured we were fillers anyways.”
War Skrull #7: “No way. I talked to The One Above All a bunch of times this week and he said having us, Krypto and the Brood’s down here was the perfect trap for our opponents. Plus, there’s no way we would ever be just fillers.”
War Skrull #8: “Yeah, I don’t know how reliable of a source that guy is. He also told me that if I helped him with that Garfield puzzle last week, he’d turn me into Superman.”
War Skrull #7: “I don’t care what you guys think, we are still needed in this match. I bet you anytime now they are going to be sending them down here for us to attack them. We are very important to this team.”
War Skrull #10: “Yeah, fine whatever. Can you pass the lemonade again, this stuff is really good.”
War Skrull #8: “Yeah I know. I think it is freshly squeezed. I wonder who made it?”
The Abomintrons: All Dead.
Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyaatches: Dark Phoenix, Mogo, Ranx the Sentient City, Orion, Krypto, Brood #7-9, War Skrulls #7,8 & 10, Storm Trooper #15 in a Z-95 Headhunter all survive.
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN'S BEEYAATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Week 4 - Michael Vick's Bad News Kennelz of Lurve vs Bruce's Bodacious Bullies
Kennelz are: Galactus, Nova, Terrax, Firelord, Four Oa Guardians, Green lantern 1,2,4, and 5, Jade, Kryb, Saint Walker, Indigo 1, Monk, Manhunter 1,2 and 3, Captain Atom, Barbarrossa, Battle Droid 1 and 2.
The Bullies are: Xio Jade, Starkiller, Eeth Koth in a B-Wing, The Leader (w/ Red Lightsaber), Dr. Voodoo, Ultra Magnus, Blue Wizard #2, Cybertronian Guardian #10, Force Adept 1,2,3, and 4, Atlas, The Stranger, Jedi Lightsaber Scientist #3 and 4, Terminator # 39, Nightmare with a Yellow Power Ring, and Riik #3.
The Battle, Already in progress, is not shaking out well for the Bullies.
Galactus Sits back, his arms folded, watching, and he informs the watcher what has taken place.
"See, none of these dudes are even remotely large enough to satisfy my appetite. I thought about eating Xio Jade, but I'll just be hungry again in an hour... So I simply clapped my gigantic hands with her in between them and extinguished her life..."
I commented on the brutality of this, and Galactus just shrugged, brushing at his shoulder, resulting in a tiny (from his perspective anyway) explosion. Eath Koth was attempting to pilot his B-Wing into Galactus' ear and make a trench run to launch some torpedoes into his brain. The B-Wing that Koth was piloting was easily brushed away, careening wildly out of control and slamming into Cybertronian Guardian #10 who had just killed two of the Oan Guardians in a surprise attack.
The other two Oan guardians were issuing orders to their 4 Green Lantern charges when Saint Walker appeared by their side.
"No need to worry my blue friends, I've got this covered!"
"We certainly hope so." said the Guardians.
"Well, you're in luck, hope is kind of my thing." replied Saint Walker.
With that Saint walker overcharged the 4 green lantern's rings to double capacity and sent them after force adepts one through four and the light saber scientists . The boosted lantern rings easily constructed giant hammers and axes, in one case a giant frying pan... and pummeled the overwhelmed jedi into oblivion.
Nightmare's yellow power ring has been neutralized by Saint Walkers's blue ring and he was quickly encased in a perfect, glowing green replica of the trash compactor on the detention level of the death star.
The lanterns were beginning to have way too much fun with their rings charged to double capacity, the walls of the compactor compressed nightmare into a wafer and the compressed remains of his body floated lifeless in space.
The Lanterns were busy high fiving each other with giant green hand constructs when The Stranger decided enough was enough, he increased his size to that of Galactus and crushed the green lanterns in his giant hands.
The Stranger then set his sights on Galactus.
"Devourer of worlds, prepare to face of with a manipulator of reality itself."
The stranger and Galactus square off, exchanging furious blows with each-other, Crushing the remaining guardians, Jade, Kryb, Indigo Lantern 1, Monk, The manhunters, Barbarossa, Blue Wizard #2, Riik #3 and Atlas in the process.
Their fists crunching the tiny creatures against one or the other giant with each punch.
The Terminator had separated himself from this and systematically destroyed the battle droids, suffering major damage in the process, his red eyes fading to black.
"This is madness, I'm putting a stop to this." said Terrax. Galactus heard his former herald and bestowed him with cosmic power.
"Hold on, I'ma go get my click clack..." Terrax said to Nova and Firelord. "and by click-clack I mean a whole sh!@-ton of meteors."
A shotgun blast of gigantic rocks peppered the battlefield.
The meteors shatter ultra magnus who attempted to shield his remaining team mates, Star Killer and The Leader were turned into pulp by the giant space rocks and chunks of autobot.
Galactus slammed his fist into The Stranger's head, knocking him senseless and proceeded to use him as a human shield the incoming barrage of rocks. The rocks failed to completely penetrate the Strangers Body but did enough damage to kill him.
The remaining combatants destroyed by the surprising torrent of space rocks, Galactus then closed in on Brother Voodoo...
(I've been corrected with a statement from the Bullies: "Our sorcerer didn't sacrifice chickens for 8 years at the University of Michigan Port-Au-Prince campus to be called "Brother Voodoo"... It's Doctor Voodoo.)
Ahem... anyway, With Saint Walker, Galactus and the Heralds Surrounding the current Sorcerer Supreme on all sides this watcher couldn't bear to witness the grim details as Dr. Voodoo was torn limb from limb by the bloodthirsty Kennelz members.
The Kennelz of Lurve are Victorious!
Saint Walker, Galactus, Terrax, Firelord, and Nova survive.
Everyone else died horribly.
Week 5: Death Match
Setting: Water World
Points: 1200
Prize: 2 Blue Lightsabers
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-TEAM Vs. The Abomitrons
-Built Ford Tough Vs. The Untouchables
-Logical Genocide Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Bruce's Bodacious Bullies
-Team S.P. Vs. Oblivio
-The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. P.M.S.
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
-Hayley's Comets Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
-The Transfoamers Vs. The Right Wing
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Better Than All of You
-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Points: 1200
Prize: 2 Blue Lightsabers
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-TEAM Vs. The Abomitrons
-Built Ford Tough Vs. The Untouchables
-Logical Genocide Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Bruce's Bodacious Bullies
-Team S.P. Vs. Oblivio
-The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. P.M.S.
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
-Hayley's Comets Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
-The Transfoamers Vs. The Right Wing
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Better Than All of You
-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
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