Logical Genocide Vs. The Syracuse Valley

Logical Genocide is Ion, Dr. Deathbrain & The Living Killing Roller Coaster, Cybertronian Guardian #9 (AKA Cuddles), V (with a Yellow Power Ring), Shatterstar, Chris Seeney in Lex Soar 7, Warwolf #7 (AKA Sgt. Stabbins), Warwolf #9 (AKA Fumbles), Prometheus, Jason Todd, The Hood, Iron Patriot, Magmar, Bronze Tiger, Terminator #40 (AKA clanks), Moonstone, & Adam Strange.

The Syracuse Valley is Soundblaster w/ Zombie Rumble, (movie) Frenzy, (movie) Ravage, Zombie Laserbeak, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box, & Fast Forward, (movie) Wheelie, The Decepticon Spy Bug, Decepticon #1 & 2, Young Anakin Skywalker in Odee Mandrell’s Pod, Sonic the Hedgehog (with a blue lightsaber), Knuckles (with a red lightsaber), Star Fox, Dash Rendar, & Leebo in a Y-Wing Bomber, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, (movie) Jazz, Go-bot #1, Rob Bartlett (with a halberd), Xenomorph #92 & 93, Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Baby Nightcrawler, Rayden & Kid Thunder, Wingnut & Screwloose, Scooter, The Toxic Avenger, Darth Rave, Splinter, & Little Goomba #5.


Logical Genocide: The most talked about 0 and 2 team in FFL history squares off against the Kings of the Graveyard Syracuse Valley. Logical Genocide has not yet had much success this season but they are definitely becoming a fan favorite with their zany press conferences and off-the-wall comments. The Syracuse Valley on the other hand is a fan favorite just because you can’t help but feel sorry for their massive graveyard send-offs last year. Ion and the yellow-powered V patrol the 2 opposite sides of the sky while Chris Seeney flies in the Lex-Soar 7 attempting to figure out the controls. Chris Seeney may have no piloting skills whatsoever, but luckily the Lex-Soar 7’s controls and advanced autopilot capabilities are easy enough for even the less than novice-level pilot (either that or the Commissioner is getting soft and he’ll approve anything these days). Darth Rave lights up the Coruscant sky and begins dancing around his opponents for what could be the last time as he uses his unconventional lightsabers to actually best Shatterstar in a one on one fight. The Darth Maul trained Sith Lord and FFL veteran than uses a burst of Sith Lightning to kill Magmar before he can move toward the Sith. Darth Rave stands victorious, until The Lex-Soar 7 comes crashing down, directly on top pf Darth Rave. Lord Rave did indeed sense this oncoming danger thru his mastery of the force, but he did not have enough time to react. Later on, Chris Seeney will tell everyone that he totally crashed this jet on Darth Rave on purpose. I mean after all it was well worth it to take out this powerful Sith Lord before he made his last stand even more impressive but as the guy that witnessed it…. I’m not so sure. The brave Chris Seeney rolls away from the wreckage of the Lex-Soar 7, proud of what will be his first mention in The FFL Graveyard. Seeney is attempting to muster up enough strength to get to his feet and continue fighting for his team when the might Baby Nightcrawler approaches. Seeney sneers at the face of this luminous threat and doesn’t back down for a second even when Baby Nightcrawler pulls his own white finger to create the fart that he expels in Seeney’s face before he kills Chris with a piece of Lex-Soar 7 shrapnel. Xenomorphs #92 & 93 attack The Hood and begin ripping at his flesh. The Hood uses his twin Glocks to blow away Xenomorph #92, but at this point the proximity to the aliens is to close and The Hood dies as well from the spray of the Xenomorph’s acid blood. Prometheus then hurls a parked speeder down on top of Xenomorph #93 from atop a nearby building to finish him off. Unfortunately for Little Goomba #5, his 10th death is just as insignificant as most of his other one’s were as he is jumped on by the evil and treacherous Dr. Death Brain. Prometheus then steals the idea from his teammate Dr. Death Brain and jumps off the building he was standing on and lands directly on top of Go-bot #1 as if he were a mere little goomba as well. Anakin races in his pod around the moving tracks of the Living Killing Roller Coaster. The Living Killing Roller Coaster, which if you are not familiar with the Capt. Latin America and The Pretenders comic series is a living roller coaster that likes to kill things. It primarily kills things that are living (I’m surprised you didn’t know that). Anakin flies around the roller coaster quickly and beats the roller coaster to it’s own finish gate (for the sake of the story, we’re going to act like that matters for some reason). As little Skywalker’s pod is sitting in the end gate of the roller coaster tracks, the Living Killing Roller Coaster viciously slams into the back of Odee Mandrell’s old pod. This knocks the Young Anakin out of the pod, but what the Living Killing Roller Coaster does not realize in it’s twisted metal-geared mind is that Anakin already cracked the seal on the pod-thrusters to ignite the pod’s power source. So once the Living Killing Roller Coaster slammed into the back of the pod it caused a totally wizard explosion which turned The Living Killing Roller Coaster into the Dead Harmless Roller Coaster. Anakin lay on the ground totally unconscious when Dr. Death Brain comes running up with his magical cattle prod and electric face destroyer when Sonic the Hedgehog comes running up out of nowhere (he’s fast ya know). Sonic pulls out his blue lightsaber and uses it to remove the head of Dr. Death Brain before the evil scientist could see him coming in his prism-powered monocular (his other eye was of course destroyed many years ago in a fight with Capt. Latin America (see the origin of Dr. Death Brain in The Pretenders Annual #4 (This is also eluded to in The Bottomless Stomach mini-series issue #3))). It is also Strange that Adam did not see Sonic coming as the blue hedgehog makes the most of what is destined to be his last FFL appearance. Sonic spin attacks Adam Strange with his lightsaber out to take out the space man before Ion comes down and shows the league why he was the first overall pick this year. Ion not only deals a graveyard blast to Sonic but also takes out Sonic’s buddy Knuckles, Nocturne, and Decepticon #1 with his initial green energy blasts. V swoops down from the opposite end of the battle to take out Nightcrawler before he can bamf out of the way, as well as Wingnut and Screwloose with a pair of yellow energy knives thrown from his new ring. Rob Bartlett tries to use his new Halberd on Jason Todd, but the angst filled young Todd delivers a kick to the face and an imitation batarang to the chest of the Bartster to take him out. Cuddles the Cybertronian Guardian steps on Jazz to allow the Auto bot to do what he does best (ya know, die). The death of this particular Autobot is no metal shavings off the nose of Megatron and Starscream, but the 2 Decepticons do avenge Jazz by using their Cybertronian weaponry to blow the Guardian to pieces from the air. The Iron Patriot has basically made Clanks the Terminator his personal bodyguard and sidekick which is why they attack the attack Rayden & Kid Thunder together, after the 2 of them use their artillery to blast Scooter to pieces. Although the Norman Osborne and his lackey are slightly stunned and slowed down by both the electrical blasts of Rayden and the cuteness of Kid Thunder, they do manage to take out the Mortal Kombat characters with their advanced weaponry. Their victory is in fact short-lived though as they are blown apart from the air from the bombs shot by Star Fox and his co-pilot Dash Rendar. Dash, who is an exceptional pilot in his own right, was initially bothered by the fact that he was chosen to be second fiddle to anyone, but once he got in the back seat, and saw Star Fox’s skills he was quite alright with the job. The 2 of them are flying thru the air making the Y-Wing Bomber look like a much more graceful vehicle than it should or normally would if it were controlled by lesser pilots. Splinter and Bronze Tiger square off in a hand to hand combat match that is one for the ages (it is almost as good as the fight between Nick and Mike at the end of There’s Something About Dribble). Bronze Tiger gets in some great hits, but in the end it is experience that wins out over strength as Splinter delivers a killing blow to Bronze Tiger’s throat. Moonstone moves against Soundblaster, but the Decepticon then ejects all of his tapes. Moonstone hits Zombie Laserbeak with a hefty of photon blast and then gets both Wheelie and the spy bug with some aftershocks that are more than enough to wipe out the likes of them. The 2 Warwolves rush in to help out Moonstone and they manage to double team both Ravage and then Overkill, before they are taken out by the familiar yet not so familiar team-up of Zombie Rumble and movie Frenzy against Sgt. Stabbins and Soundblaster and Slugfest against Fumbles. Moonstone is having trouble catching the speedy little Autobot turned pseudo-Decepticon tape known as Fast Forward, but she does eventually cut him off by manipulating the gravity around him and then destroys him with her super-strength by crushing in his metal head. She is then taken off guard when the mini-gestalt known as Squawkbox uses his laser gun to blast her apart (it took a lot of shots, but eventually they were able to finish her off). Ion begins chasing after the Fox/Rendar piloted Y Wing, but despite Ion’s amazing speed, he is still having trouble catching up to the vehicle. V with his yellow power ring steps up to take on Sounblaster and his remaining tapes, but Decepticon #2 & Megatron fly in to help Soundblaster out. Prometheus rushes to the aid of V and punches a hole thru the head of Decepticon #2, but when Jason Todd runs in to help he is blasted by an aerial pot shot from Starscream, who is on the way to lend a hand to Star Fox. Anakin, Baby Nightcrawler, Splinter, and The Toxic Avenger rush in to join the fight as well. V and Prometheus manage to combine their powers to take out Soundblaster, who inadvertently falls on top of Baby Nightcrawler; but they know that they are going to need help from Ion if they are going to finish off what is left of The Valley. Ion realizes that his few remaining teammates, though powerful are heavily outnumbered, so he kicks his speed up even faster. He manages the amazing feat of actually and finally shooting Star Fox’s Y-Wing out of the air. Leebo, who had to be partially taken apart to get into the ship’s droid slot was killed in the initial blast, but Star Fox and Dash Rendar did eject in time. Ion sees Dash Rendar parachuting down above him, and although he doesn’t like doing it blasts the Rendar like the sitting duck that he is. Ion has now dive bombed down to look for Star Fox so he can blast him from below, but what he doesn’t realize is that McLeod is crazy. Crazy like a Star Fox that is. Star Fox has ignited Darth Maul’s old lightsaber and has cut his own parachute. The free-falling Star Fox then surprise attacks Ion by falling on top of him and from mid-air puts the double bladed lightsaber into Raynor’s chest. Star Fox is more than content knowing that he gave his life to take out Ion when Starscream flies underneath him to catch the Syracuse Valley’s prize pilot in mid-air. V sees this transpire, and although yellow lanterns and gods are not known for retreating, that is exactly what he and Prometheus do against these overwhelming odds.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!