The Transfoamers vs. Haley's Comets

"Life, for ever dying to be born afresh, for ever young and eager, will presently stand upon this earth as upon a footstool, and stretch out its realm amidst the stars."
―H.G. Wells

I look at the teams to do battle in the Rischey Mays during this Week 4 Match. They are as follows:

The Transfoamers: Transformers #1-8, Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sgt. Robert Epps, ACWO Jorge Figueroa, First Sgt. Donnelly, (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids, (movie) Sideswipe, (movie) Iron Hide, Autobots #1-5, Metallica: James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber), Lars Ulrich (w/ a Halberd), Kirk Hammet (w/ an Atlas), Jason Newsted (w/ a Heat Axe), Ghosts #1 and 2, Darth Rage (w/ a yellow power ring) and Sith Lord #16.

Hayley's Comets: Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54, Hordak (w/ a yellow power ring), The Justice Force: The Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang, Ash (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Grotle, Wartortle, Infernape, Dialga, Palkia, Rayquazza, Regirock, Empoleon, Prinplup, Piplup, Charmeleon, Mew, Mewtwo, Blastois, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglet, Drago, The Defenders of the Earth: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin and Zuffy, Neo-Cymek #19, Predator #50, Cybertronian Guardian #8, 8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball in 8-Ball's ship, Cable in a B-Wing, Junkeons #15 and 16, Dementors #6 and 9, Halk Kar, Omac, Trigon, Zombie Arisia, Ewok #76 and Doozer #3.

Let the battle begin. . .

8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball wear specialized spacesuits designed by the evil genius. They utilize 8-Ball's hovercraft which has also been equipped with an additional element to propel space’s airless environment. As they travel, they see space-suited Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sgt. Robert Epps, ACWO Jorge Figueroa and First Sgt. Donnelly approaching. The 8-Ball crew use their amplified cue sticks to blow the Transformer military members off course. Lennox, Epps, Figueroa and Donnelly miss their opportunity to board the hovercraft and twist away. The 8-Ball crew smile at their success of repelling the elite military force; it is short lived. Darth Rage uses his yellow power ring to snatch his teammates and shoot them back at the 8-Ball team. The 8-Ball crew is taken off guard as the Transfoamers board the craft. Lennox uses his advanced weaponry to kill 8-Ball; Epps kills 6-Ball; Figueroa kills 9-Ball and Donnelly kills 11-Ball. The Transfoamer members fly away with the 8-Ball hovercraft.

Hordak watches the scene and launches his teammates (who he has carried with his yellow ring) at the stolen 8-Ball hovercraft. Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54, Predator #50, Ewok #76 and Doozer #3 land on the craft. The Terminator is immediately riddled with Lennox’s bullets. Although its skin is falling off its metallic body, it is more than a match for Lennox who is eventually killed by a well placed bullet between the trooper’s eyes. Xenomorph #54 jumps on Epps. Acid drips from its mouth and burns Epps face. Epps’ screams are short lived as the Xenomorph’s double jaw strikes and kills the soldier. Across the hovercraft, Predator #50 shoots Figueroa in the chest with his shoulder cannon. The Predator pounces upon Figueroa and rips his skull and spine from his body. Donnelly is faring a little better as he fights Ewok #76 and Doozer #3. Donnelly manages to kill both furry foes. Seeing that he is outnumbered by the other team on the craft, he jumps into open space. He is met by the laser fire of Cable in his B-Wing. The B-Wing screams by, leaving Donnelly’s body a burnt husk. As Cable turns his ship he is met by Transformers #3-5. The Transformers unload their weapons upon the ship and Cable and his B-Wing explode.

Above the fighting, Hordak flies in a circle, pondering his next action. He is struck from behind by a yellow projectile and is knocked about, spinning through space. It is Darth Rage, who is using his own yellow power ring, as a weapon. At the same time, the ring is providing a protective aura for both himself and Sith Lord #16. With Hordak out of the way, Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16 land on the hovercraft. Although it takes some effort, the darksiders manage to stab, skewer, slice, batter and kill Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54 and Predator #50.

The Defenders of the Earth: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin and Zuffy are traveling on a piece of floating space jetsam toward the battle. Ghosts #1 and 2 take advantage of the fact that they do not need air. They attack the Defenders. Ghost #1 manages to throw both Rick Gordon and Kshin off the jetsam piece. Ghost #2 pushes Jedda Walker off. The Ghosts then come together and rip the gear off the heroes. Rick Gordon, Kshin and Jedda Walker suffocate in the airless vacuum. Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar and Zuffy are about to combine forces and attack the Ghosts. Before they get the chance, Dementors #6 and 9 rip their spectral brethren apart. Ghost #1 and 2 fade away. The Defenders and Dementors see (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids, (movie) Sideswipe and (movie) Iron Hide come crashing down on the jetsam. The Dementors are unable to affect the giant robots. Although the Defenders manage to destroy Skids, the remaining Transformers mutilate the Comet members, leaving only carnage behind.

Zombie Arisia uses her green power ring to carry Ash (with his newly adorned Mandalorian armor), along with all of his Pokemon (and Pokemon rip-off) friends. Approximately three leagues away, Arisia sees Autobots #1-5. Except for Autobot #2, each Autobot carries a member of Metallica (wearing protective space gear). James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber) rides on Autobot #1; Lars Ulrich (w/ a Halberd) on Autobot #3, Kirk Hammet (w/ an Atlas) on Autobot #4 and Jason Newsted (w/ a Heat Axe) on Autobot #5. Arisia releases the Pokemon characters from their protective shield and Grotle, Wartortle, Infernape, Dialga, Palkia, Rayquazza, Regirock, Empoleon, Prinplup, Piplup, Charmeleon, Mew, Mewtwo, Blastois, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglett and Drago engulf the Autobots and their riders. Before the full blown battle ensues, Metallica can be heard-

Hetfield: End of passion play, crumbling away

Ulrich: I’m your source of self-destruction

Hammet: Veins that pump with fear, sucking dark is clear

Newsted: Leading on your deaths’ construction. . .

The slow and gentle Grotle is killed by Newsted’s Heat Axe, as is Piplup. Empoleon and Prinplup gang up on Newsted, but Newsted is saved by Hetfield’s lightsaber, which slices both in half. Hammet with his Atlas manages to take out Jiggly Puff and Wiggly Tuff. Ulrich with the Halbeard destroys Diglett and Blastois. While the Metallica band mates destroy the Pokemon characters, their Autobots assist them in their task of total Pokemon annihilation. Autobot #2 destroys Palkia and Pokemon rip-off Drago. Autobot #1 kills Regirock. Autobot #3 kills Rayquazza. Autobot #4 kills Charmeleon. Autobot #5 kills Infernape. Just before the team can destroy the remaining characters, Ash soars in with his Mandalorian armor and shoots a missile which explodes and kills Newsted. The remaining Metallica-mates look at Ash, Wartortle, Dialga, Mew and Mewtwo.

Hetfield: Shouting gun.

Ulrich: On they run.

Hammet: Through the endless grey

They combine forces with the Autobots and destroy Ash, Wartortle, Dialga, Mew and Mewtwo.

The yellow ring bearers are in a bitter fight, once again. The two are evenly matched. Darth Rage uses his lightsaber to deflect the blasts from Hordak’s hands. Darth Rage eventually manages to get the upper hand and mortally wounds Hordak with a slash across Hordak’s chest. Sith Lord #16 rushes at Hordak and slices him in two. The two Sith Lords focus on the Dementors which are flying in the area. Together, they use their dark side abilities and force lightning to destroy Dementors #6 and 9.

Metallica has jumped on a small asteroid. They see the Justice Force flying their way.

Hetfield: So be it

Ulrich: Threaten no more

Hammet: To secure peace is to prepare for war

The Justice Force meets Metallica. Although Metallica is ripped apart from all sides, they actually manage to kill Boomerang and Nobody. The remaining Justice Force searches for their next fight. They are met by Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16. Sith Lord #16 manages to slice apart Nano. Chrysalis attempts to send a ray from her forehead, but it is easily blocked by Sith Lord #16. Darth Rage takes advantage of this fact and slices through Chrysalis. The Silver Sentry flies away, attempting to obtain help against the Sith. The two Transfoamer force wielders manage to kill Ananda, Metal Head, Tsunami, Raptarr and the Green Mantle, but the fight has taken its toll on the darksiders. As they are utilizing the force to replenish their energy, they are struck from behind by Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia. Already in a weakened state, they are no match for the two and eventually Sentry and Arisia get the better of the fighters. Sith Lord #16 and Darth Rage are killed.

Cybertronian Guardian #8, Neo-Cymek #19, Junkeons #15 and 16 come to the scene to face Autobots #1-5 now that their Metallica-mates are no longer alive. The battle between the immense robots is spectacular. In the end, pieces and scraps litter the space way. Standing is Neo-Cymek #19 and a battle scarred Cybertronian Guardian #8. All Autobots #1-5, as well as Junkeons #15 and 16, are destroyed. Tranformers #1-8, as well as (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Sideswipe and (movie) Iron Hide enter the robotic fray. Transformer #3 and 6 are lost immediately. But the remaining Transfoamer members destroy both Neo-Cymek #19 and Cybertronian Guardian #8.

Halk Kar, Omac and Trigon face off against the remaining robots. They are soon joined by teammates Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia. Halk Kar destroys Mudflap and Sideswipe. Silver Sentry destroys Iron Hide. The remaining Transformers #1-2, 4-5, 7-8 are picked apart and destroyed by the remaining Comet crew. Notwithstanding, winning has its price as the Comets lost Omac, Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia in the final battle.

The Transfoamers: All dead.

Haley’s Comets: Halk Kar and Trigon survive.

HALEY’S COMETS IS VICTORIOUS!!!