Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Horsemen of Apokolips vs. The Untouchables

“To the Glorious ,Pious, and Immortal Memory of King William theThird, Prince of Orange, who delivered us from Popes and Popery, Knaves and Knavery, Slaves and Slavery, Brass Money, and Wooden Shoes, and He that Will Not Take this Toast May He Be Damn'd, Cramm'd, and Jamm'd Down the Great Gun of Athlone, and the Gun Fired in the Pope's Belly, and the Pope Fired in the Devil's Belly, and the Devil Fired into Hell, and the Door Lock'd, and the Key Forever in the Pocket of a Stout Orangeman. And Here's a Fart for the Bishop of Cork!”
-Anonymous

c.1890 'The Orange Toast'

I look at the teams to do battle at Bespin during this Week 10 Match. They are as follows:

The Horsemen: Hal Jordan Parallax (w/ a red lantern ring), Archangel, Annihilus, Superboy Prime and Tally Hawk.

The Untouchables: Sodom Yat, Red Lantern Guy Gardner, Green Lantern Sinestro and Romat-Ru.

Hal Jordan Parallax scans the Untouchables’ pure lantern force. Although the Untouchables’ team is extremely formidable, Jordan knows that his team must defeat them to seal their own position in this Fantasy Fantasy League Year 3 Match. More important, he must have a grand showing due to the rumors currently whispered by league members. A new Parallax figure has spurned more angst and horror than himself – a fact which is unacceptable. Mandalorian-armored, red and blue lightsaber wielding, Bryan Beckerman-Parallax, Esq. must learn of what transpires during this battle. He must learn and acknowledge that there is only one true Parallax combination in this league. . . himself!

Quicksilver’s cyborg/bird companion Tally Hawk screeches and soars at Red Lantern Guy Gardner. Gardner’s rage fuels his ring and he shreds Tally Hawk apart.

Gardner: Never stood a chance. . .

Green Lantern Sinestro flies through Bespin’s gaseous clouds. Without warning he is struck by Archangel. Archangel uses his techno-organic wings as weapons and slices through Sinestro. Sinestro uses his ring powers, but he has already been severely injured due to Worthington’s actions. Sinestro begins to lose consciousness and Archangel takes advantage of this fact. Archangel fires his metallic feathers at Green Lantern Sinestro. Sinestro is ripped apart, his lifeless body careening to the planet below. While Archangel is focused on Sinestro’s demise, the vile Xudarian Romat-Ru teams up with Sodam Yat to destroy Archangel.

Superboy Prime and Annihilus focus on the two lanterns, Romat-Ru and Sodam Yat. The Negative Zoner uses cosmic control rod to manipulate and scramble Romat Ru on a molecular level. Romat Ru is destroyed. The combination of Sodam Yat’s Daxamite powers and power ring destroys Superboy Prime. Yat then begins to battle Annihilus; he is joined by Red Lantern Guy Gardner. The two lanterns overcome Annihilus and kill him.

Hal Jordan Parallax faces Sodam Yat and Red Lantern Guy Gardner. The time has now come to show the league that he is the one true Parallax combo.

HJP: This is my time. This is my match. This ends now.

HJP’s control over time, as well as his ability to alter reality, leaves no room for Yat or Gardner to defend themselves. The two lanterns eventually succumb to HJP and are killed.

HJP flies to this Watcher.

HJP: Tell all those who deem Mandalorian-armored, red and blue lightsaber wielding, Bryan Beckerman-Parallax, Esq a threat that he is but a joke. . . I am the one true Parallax combo . . . except for the real Parallax, who is with the Commandos, that is.

Horsemen of Apokolips: Hal Jordan Parallax survives.

The Untouchables: All dead.

THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!

3 comments:

Ryan said...

Damn that team scared me Amy. Great match.

And with that victory, The Ryan Poteracki Division is mine yet again.

Lickolas said...

Beautiful match Bryan, the last line was hilarious!

To Ryan and Amy, Those two teams may have been the best small points teams I have ever seen.

It makes it all the more hilarious that the second best Parallax combo made it out alive. :)

Josh the Commish said...

The Devil Lance was given to Steelwill & The Demon Rod was given to Steelheart.