Sunday, May 23, 2010

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos vs. The Right Wing

“Love is the fart of every heart: It pains a man when 'tis kept close, And others doth offend when 'tis let loose.”
-Sir John Suckling

'Love's Offence'

I look at the teams to do battle at Bespin during this Week 10 Match. They are as follows:

The Commandos: Dex-Starr, Karu-Sil, Fatality, Taa, Bronze Dragon #1 and Mrs. Doubtfire.

The Right Wing: Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring), John Stewart, Blue Lantern #2 and Droid Fighter Ships #2 and 3.

Let the battle begin. . .

Mrs. Doubtfire rides Bronze Dragon #1. Due to the fact that it is out of its normal aquatic element, the beast does not have the mobility it is accustomed to. Its erratic flight patterns leave Mrs. Doubtfire soiling her own pants. Mrs. D and her Dragon are confronted by Droid Fighter Ships #2 and 3. Although it is not at its best, Bronze Dragon #1 spits lightning at the ships. Droid Fighter Ships #2 and #3 are riddled with lightning. The ships crash into one another and the explosion jars Mrs. Doubtfire’s teeth in her mouth.

Mrs. Doubtfire: Carpe dentum. Seize the teeth.

As she puts her fake dentures back in her mouth, she sees Blue Lantern #2. Blue Lantern #2 uses a construct to push Doubtfire off the dragon.

Mrs. Doubtfire (while falling to her death): Ooooh you wicked, wicked monkey!

Blue Lantern #2 is joined by John Stewart. Together they easily dispatch with Bronze Dragon #1.

The battle of the Lanterns then ensues. Dex-Starr, Karu-Sil and Taa face John Stewart and Blue Lantern #2. Karu-Sil and Dex-Starr easily dispatch with Blue Lantern #2. The Green Lanterns John Stewart and Taa face off. John Stewart eventually gains the upper hand and kills Taa. Dex-Starr and Karu-Sil combine forces. Stewart cannot stop both Commandos’ ring powers. While Karu-Sil uses her yellow ring; Stewart uses his green ring as a counter-defense. Dex-Starr’s red ring comes into the fray and is too much for Stewart who focuses his entire energies on Karu-Sil. Dex-Starr pommels Stewart and in an instant, flies at his face. The feline alien claws Stewart’s eyes out and slashes his throat. Stewart dies.

Silver Surfer soars over to the Commando lanterns. Using both the power cosmic and lantern ring, he dispatches with Karu-Sil. Dex-Starr pounces on the Surfer. The surfboard careens out of control. The Surfer manages to throw Dex-Starr off his back. As Dex-Starr turns around he is destroyed by the Surfer. As the Surfer turns, he is met by Fatality. The two beings begin a pitched battle. Although she is one of the best combatants in the universe, Fatality weakens as the power cosmic repeatedly rips into her. Fatality’s last thought is- Why didn’t Bowman start?!?

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos: All dead.

The Right Wing: Silver Surfer alive.

THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!

2 comments:

Lickolas said...

Awesome match Becks! The Doubtfire quotes were great!

If I wouldn't have already clinched the playoffs and my division I would have started Bowman, but it was not worth the possible death.

Nice win Shan, I knew if you started the Surfer I would not have a chance. Perhaps the fabled Surfer versus the Star Child match will take place in the playoffs this year. For my sake, I hope it doesn't.

Josh the Commish said...

The Devil lance and Demon Rod were given to Nick Houslander & Bear.