Week 7: Cowboy Killers vs The Sigmaz

 Cowboy Killers: Namor, Namorita, Triton, Dorma, 10 Atlanteons, 1000 Sunny Captain: Freya, Passengers: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger w/Star Sapphire, Professor McGonagall, Heimdall, 3 Super Soldiers

Sigmaz: Sanji, Zoro, Jinbe, Nico Robin, Franky (The Straw Hats) in the 1000 Sunny Rowena Ravenclaw, Goku, Harbinger, Enchantress, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Odin, Jiggly Puff 

Wow. What a spectacle. This is way better than Hogwarts Legacy, isn’t it? I say to my hippogriff, who has so majestically accompanied me upon this fine evening around Hogwarts Castle. The sun lowers, and a luminous glow from the ginormous castle replaces the sun in the night sky, twinkling off the Black Lake, which will grace us with its setting just about two hundred yards from where I float now.  

Just as I start to take in the atmosphere, I see a massive sailboat in the Thousand Sunny emerge from the faint fog on the north side of the lake, patrolled by Freya alongside Professor McGonagall and Heimdall, flanked by Harry and Hermione in the Mini Mary, and several robotic sharks coming from channel three. 

Toward the southwest side of the Lake, the Sigmaz also make their entrance, led by the Thousand Sunny. 

Wait… Both teams have the thousand Sunny?! That's hilarious! Well, next time, people will know to speak up when a vehicle on their own team is getting off-listed by someone else. Oh well. 

The difference is that the straw hats have a ridiculous amount of aura and expertise from piloting their very own ship, and are making a great first impression on this body of water. 

BWOOM!!!

Franky fires several shots of potent energy blasts from the Gaon Canon towards the phony thousand sunny on the other side of the battlefield as Sanji keeps restocking the cola ammunition. Harry and Hermione are the first victims of this onslaught as they get obliterated by a few perfectly landed shots to the Mini Mary, and a few more to the heart of the ship, breaking down its structural integrity. 

“INITIATE THE COUP DE BURST SEQUENCE,” Jinbe exclaims, “EXCEPT THIS TIME, WE AREN'T RUNNING AWAY!” 

Sanji uses the coup de burst, but instead, Jinbe manipulates the waves of the surrounding water to launch it towards the Cowboy Killers Sunny. 

“SANJI, NOW”!!!

Jinbe and Sanji, in one fluid motion, lunge the Thousand Sunny towards the three killaz left on their sunny and crush them, making their god-like nature seem puny in this world of magic. 

“I didn’t see that coming,” - Heimdall says to McGonagall and Freya seconds before the ensuing whiplash that overcame them. Unfortunately, in this heroic kamikaze attempt, Jinbe and Nico Robin were the only ones to jump off the ship before the collision, as Nico used her limbs to mimic an octopus, and Jinbe used the approaching water as a launching pad to stay afloat.

Namorita and Dorma take the charge ahead of Namor, Triton, the Super Soldiers, and Atlanteons of the Cowboy Killers and know it's time to retaliate. 

Namorita makes the first move by grabbing the necks of the floating 90’s slasher villains and lifts them out of the water… 

“This ain’t no Crystal Lake, and I ain't no fool,” says Namorita, hurling Jason and Michael towards the castle and piercing their bodies at the pointy tops of the Wizarding school. Namorita then drops back down to water at high speeds and is bitched by Odin, who sends an elegant, floating crescent kick, brutally killing the wife of Namor. 

Goku swims into the charging Dorma with confidence, PRAYING for a fight. But he is awfully surprised by how fluid Dorma's movements are in the water. Each punch Goku throws, Doma answers with a clean dodge and a robust jab. Each move by Dorma is visibly outclassing the Saiyan, making him feel more human than he has in a long time. Dorma can’t quite make the final blow, but the Atlanteons all come in with their daggers to stab Goku and take him out for good. Several Atlanteons were struck with fatal blows, erasing them from the skirmish, but a few made it out with Dorma alive. 

Enchantress and Rowena Ravenclaw aren't very mobile in the water, but are managing to survive to form and shoot shards of ice towards an off-guard Dorma. Dorma manages to dodge the first few waves but is finally overcome by full shots to his upper body, resulting in severe blood loss, leaving him for death. Triton, with elite speed, takes advantage of their one-dimensional dormant states and kills them both with precise strikes to the dome. 

Meanwhile, Jiggly Puff is having the time of her life singing and bouncing around in a prancing manner right over to the super soldiers and the retreated Atlanteans that fell back with their common brethren. She takes a seat right next to them and sings her lullaby, sinking the killaz and herself to the bottom of the lake in slumber. She was so content, she forgot she couldn’t breathe underwater herself. But I honestly don't think she cares. 

Namor, examining the battlefield, notices the alarming rate at which his teammates are falling. He takes a strong two-handed grip with his Trident of Neptune and confronts the remaining straw hats. With conviction, Namor swipes his weapon at the limbs of Nico Robin and turns her into a seafood platter, then makes a bloody mess of Jinbe, who did everything he could to match the water manipulation of the Submariner. 

Floating bodies are flooding the water, and blood clouds the vision of yours truly, and the two remaining members of each team, Namor and Triton ready to face off against Odin and Harbinger. 

I jump off my Hippogriff and get up close and personal with my snorkel gear underwater; this could get interesting, folks. 

Odin looks to his left and looks ahead, not too fond of the disadvantage he has against the two Water Adepts across from him. Odin's eyes roll in the back of his head, and the surrounding area begins to morph into a thick surrounding rock. The advantage has shifted-Harbinger shoots a yellow beam of energy towards a struggling above-surface Triton, disintegrating him where he stands, turning this battle on its head. Harbinger then sends a following energy blast towards Namor, which is narrowly evaded with Namor running towards the thriving cosmic being. Namor uses his trident to deliver multiple deadly gashes to the abdomen of Harbinger and is now left with Odin himself who is still in a fully concentrated state while also being impenetrable. Namor grabs his trident and crushes the rock-hard floor beneath, allowing him to resurface the water and regain his advantage. With one full flail of his arms he knocks Odin off balance and brings him back to earth. Odin sends several blasts of magma towards the King of Atlantis in attempt to throw him off, but Namor has reached his flow state. With a few sudden movements, Namor is face to face with the God of Wisdom, looking him in the eyes as he relieves him with a slow, sharp, thrust from his almighty trident.

Week 7 Watcher Consortium (The Black Lake): 1992 Space Movie vs The Sigmas

 1992 Space Movie: Abe Sapien, Aspen, Atlantean #9, Black Lantern Phibian, Kermit the Frog (w/ Glock Model 20 & Glock Model 40), Squirtle, Sharkticon #6 (final death), #7 (final death), & 9-10, Toad (Mario), Shinobi's Dog, Krypto, Buster (Thundercracker's Dog), Metamorpho, Goldberry (w/ a Star Sapphire), Ocean's Eleven:  Danny Ocean, Frank Catton, Robert Ryan, Reuben Tishkoff, Virgil Malloy, Turk Malloy, Livingston Dell, Bashar Tarr, Yen, Saul Bloom, & Linus Caldwell, Tommy Oliver:  The Green Ranger (w/ The White Lantern Ring), Teddy Roosevelt (in Hammer Bros. Suit), Homelander, Ice Climber #1 & 2, Twincast w/ Decibel & Legout

Sigmas: SpongeBob, Patrick, and Gary, Mario, Luigi, The Pillarmen: Esidisi, Kars, Wamuu, Santana, Corvus Glaive, The (DND) Krake Jabba The Hutt, Peter Griffin w/ Bulit Bill, Lois w/ A Blaster, Meg w/ Rito Bow, Chris w/ A Blaster, Brian w/ Flying Squirrel Suit, Stewey w/ Mini Mushroom, Muckman and Joe Eyeball, Rocksteady, Bebop, Dean Saglio, Bozo the Clown, Matt Leblanc, General Dwight D. Eisenhower, King Henry VII, Woodrow Wilson, C.J, Arnold Schwarznegger, James Buchannon, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Blake Corum, Slash, Metal Head, Savanti Romero, Jordan Peterson, w/Fire Flower, and Israeli Special Forces #1-2

Week 7: The Underhills vs Grayson, Jack, & Ben’s Goobers

Overplains: Black Manta w/ Halberd, Mera, Percy Jackson w/ Green lantern Ring, Seacons (Nautilator, Seawing, Overbite, Skalor, Snaptrap, Tanktail), The Watcher in the Water, Bizarro Superman, Larfleeze, Jessica Cruz, Pro Bender #1-3

Grayson, Jack, & Ben’s Very Serious Peeps: Swamp Bender #1-3, Changeling (Beast Boy), King Shark, The Incredibles (Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash, Jack-Jack, Frozone), Arrietty & Pod Clock, Ace Duck, Vampire Allicon, Zombie Allicon, Funky Kong, Shadow the Hedgehog w/ All Chaos Emeralds, Espio the Chameleon, Sentry, Omniman, Doctor Octopus, David Schwimmer



The Great Lake, more commonly referred to as the Black Lake, will host not only its normal inhabitants like grindylows and merpeople, but also a match between two American League powerhouses. Each team’s respective might is honored by the chanting singing of the siren-like merpeople,

“AL, AL, AL, AL, AL, AL, AL, AL!!!”

Even the underwater magical beasts are aware of the American League’s hold over the well respected Fantasy Fantasy League. You can even make out the murmurs,

“Will the NL ever win a Universebowl? They’re unbelievably due, right?”

Alright, alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The focus is this water based match here and now. The Underhills have elected to follow Black Manta’s lead and gameplan in the old sunken ship in which no one knows how it got there. Some have speculated similarity to the revered Edmund Fiztgerald (RIP). As they put together a battle strategy, they pay little attention to the fact that the Goobers are highly familiar with traversing kelp, thanks to the swamp benders, and have surrounded the ship on all sides.

Dash gets too impatient and moves to make a strike, however all his speedy legs manage to do underwater are move really slow and make a lot of commotion. Black Manta hears this and spears his Halberd through the child’s chest and manages to hit Arriety and Pod Clock behind him. Frozone moves to avenge his best friend’s kid and sends a volley of frozen shards at the ship wreck. He strikes down the pro benders and Skalor. Mera calls to her leadership,

“We’re floating dead here! We need to retreat to a better vantage point!”

Black Manta doesn’t even need to give the order, the Watcher in the Water charges front and center taking the attention of all the Goobers. As the Goobers try to manage the great tentacles, the rest of the Underhills retreat to the village of the Selkie colony (merpeople). The Watcher is tanking hits from all sides, unaffected, while the tentacles start grabbing some of the Goobers. Ace Duck, Espio the Chameleon, the allicons, and even David Schwimmer are pulled in and swallowed whole. Omniman is unable to stand idle for any longer and speeds through the Watcher in the Water, splitting the great beast in half.

The merpeople are reluctant to allow these foreigners into their village, but fear they could not stop them if they tried, so the Underhills are allowed entry. Black Manta counts their numbers and reestablishes a plan of attack on the Goobers. They won’t be caught off guard next time.

The Goobers also take a moment to mourn the fallen and prepare for battle once again. There’s no question where the Underhills went, it’s just a matter of how they want to approach. Omniman sees the merpeople as lesser beings and not worth protecting from harm, but his argument falls short as the remaining team members don’t take the suggestion well. Follow the lead of the Incredibles, Omniman will.

As the Goobers make their approach to the village, the Underhills take notice… but they aren’t the only ones to. Again the silly Goobers plan of attack is initially foiled as Doctor Octopus tries to make an elaborate and quick entrance, but unfortunately his name is a misnomer and is not well traveled underwater. The seacons take note and crush the metal arms along with the mad minded doctor. Shadow the Hedgehog, having possession of all the chaos emeralds, shows the true meaning of speed as his Super Shadow form is able to traverse the water at remarkable speeds with an invulnerability that shreds through the seacons. Super Shadow appears unstoppable until he meets an immovable object in Bizarro Superman and his own high speed crushes his body against the stronger being.

The remaining Incredibles attempt to join the battle, but I fear these characters aren’t much useful in moving quickly underwater. Even the invisible girl, Violet, is seen underwater by tracking the waves of water moving. It allows Mera and Percy Jackson to combine their superior water skillset to takedown the beloved red spandex super family. Frozone is again left alive and he sends more frozen shards towards the Underhills. This time he’s unsuccessful in hitting anyone, but rather accidentally freezes the water surrounding him and he becomes a popsicle, a rather easy target for Black Manta to shoot at.

Beast Boy and King Shark finally check into the battle and take on the man in a water suit, Black Manta. He tries to evade but is unsuccessful in dodging King Shark’s mouth. Funky Kong and the swamp benders flank the two water animal teammates, but are quickly shut down by the incoming lantern bearers. Larfleeze and Jessica Cruz take down the flank, but King Shark chomps up Jessica Cruz. Larfleeze with the help of Mera takes down the two water animals in King Shark and Beast Boy.

Few remain floating alive in this battle. Fortunately for the Goobers, Omniman’s vast battle experience has never experienced defeat. He moves swiftly and separates Percy Jackson’s head from his torso. Larfleeze floats frozen, shocked by the swiftness, only for Sentry to do the same to the orange bearing lantern.

Mera doesn’t know how to respond, but Bizarro has stepped in trying to take on both Sentry and Omniman. For some reason she does not feel fear, but instead a flicker of curiosity sparks in her, as she feels a large movement of water beneath them. She looks down to see a pair of yellow glowing eyes, unable to make out a figure but can tell the massive size of the creature. The Creature from the Black Lake covers ground quickly and pulls the trio of heavy hitters down to the bottom of the lake. Mera remains… confused, and the sound of fighting slowly diminishes into the depths below…

Week 7 Democracy: Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Dolla 49 McRib

 Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are 

-Posiedon (final death).

-Qwsp. 

-King Sidon 

-Diddy & Dixie Kong (w/ Maula Pistols). 

-Kamek

-The Tiger Sharks:  Mako, Walro, Gupp, Octavia, & Lorca. 

-Gilligan, The Skipper too, w/ Thurston Howell III, Lovery Howell, Ginger Grant, The Professor, & Mary Ann Summers in The SS Minnow.

-Vito Corleone (w/ a blue lantern ring).

-Michael Corleone (w/ a green lantern ring).

-Indigo One

-Booster Gold w/ Skeet.

-Decepticon #1-5.

Dolla 49 McRib is:

-3 Lightning Benders

-Aquagirl

-Blue Beetle

-Doomsday

-Ultraman

-Dr. Fate

-Piccollo

-World Serpent

-Gambit

-Barney Moss  

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Underhills

 Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are Nekron, (*BL denotes Black Lantern) BL Darkseid,  BL Supergirl, BL Shazam, BL Apocalypse, Zombie BL, Vampire BL, Ganondorf (w/ Infinity Gauntlet, power & Time Stones), Vampire Juggernaut, Red Hood (w/ red lantern ring), Arsenal (w/ red lantern ring and rito bow), John Constantine, Red Robin (w/ 2 ninja swords), Eric Cartman (in Hulk buster ironman suit), & Paradoom #4.

The Underhills are Bizarro Superman, Blue Lantern #4A, Jessica Cruz, Larfleeze, Atrocitus, Raven, Parasite, X-24, Neo (w/ 2 blue lightsabers), Blue Wizard #1, Aule & Yavanna, & Ser Duncan the Tall.

   

David Byrne's Meat Suits Vs. The Sigmaz

 David Byrne's Meat Suits are The Watchmen:  The Comedian, Night Owl, Silk Spectre (w/ a purple lightsaber), Ozymandias, & Rorshach (w/ an orange lightsaber), Galactus w/ His herald David Byrne (w/ Gloom Sword), Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver, Trogdoor the Burninator, Unalq, Desna, Eska, Bolin, Maku, Pabu, Hal Jordan, The Noid, Freddy Kruegar, Gobo, Red, Wembley, Mokey, Boober, Uncle Traveling Matt, Mick Foley, & Dark Side Marauder #1-5.

The Sigmaz are Volodamir Zelensky, Reflector: Spectro, Spyglass, & Viewfinder, Mechanek, Stratos, Elita One, Powerglide, Radahn, Robot Sonic, Asura, Tai Lung, The Terminator(3), Hellboy, King Randor, King Hiss, Odin, & Sigrun.

   What's good Slime?!!?  It's everybody's favorite Watcher here, The Neon Master Pogo.  Coming at you from Escanaba in the daylight; but that Sun in the distance sure isn't doing much to warm this place up.  I'm freezing my buns of steel off and I haven't even got this flaming turd started yet.  These teams are way too cold for strategy and game plans and just decide to get the fighting started.  A guy's gotta do something to keep warm.  

 I thought I would start this match out with Sigrun squaring off against Uncle Traveling Matt, because I didn't have any idea who either one of them were.  Then I looked them both up and remembered that I know exactly who Uncle Traveling Matt is and that I really need to go back and watch Fraggle Rock again as an adult because that character bops, and me being the terrible Watcher that I am probably should have based this entire match on that character discovering The Upper Peninsula of Michigan and writing back to his nephew Gobo about it.  So, I started to formulate this whole process in my head and then decided that I should look up Sigrun next to find out how the story goes from there; but as it turns out Sigrun is actually super powerful and Uncle Traveling Matt definitely can't hang with her 1 V. 1 and I am not about to erase all the stuff I just wrote; so we will go with Sigrun one shotting him instead.  These next cats though, I know are total dawgs in an arctic setting and they are teaming up with some other peeps from Avatar.  Unalaq, Desna, Eska, are with Bolin, Mako, & Pabu and are doing all kinds of cool stuff against Odin, who everybody who doesn't even have wikipedia knows is like super powerful and stuff; but that doesn't stop them from doing all kinds of things against the guy who gave birth to Thor.  Well, he didn't really give birth to him, his wife did most of the work; but he was totally involved in the process if you know what I mean.  And when I say they are doing a lot of cool stuff and moves and such to Odin, I really mean it.  Like the whole kit and kaboodle of fight moves.  Like the really good type of fight moves too.  At one point Unalaq even stood up and was like "Hey kids, let's kill this guy" and he was a really tough guy, "before he kills us".  Which is a really bold thing to say about a god from Norse mythology, especially the god who is supposed to be in charge of all the other gods.  But instead Odin, was like "Hey.....  I heard him say "Hey"......  I'm still a really powerful god here and I don't really care how good you are all supposed to be in this setting, I'm still gonna kill you before you kill me.  So he did.  And then King Hiss bit Boober.  Not beause he was a heterosexual and thought about how much he like boobs or boobers in this case; but because he is a snake.  And Hellboy, even though he is a good guy now and doesn't really like to talk about how he is from Hell.  And to tell you the truth he would rather you didn't talk about it either.  And if you do he would rather you just talk about it to people saying that they shouldn't talk about it.  Use discretion is how he would have put it.  He didn't say it that way though, that's just how I said it, because he is from Hell and they don't really use nice words like that all that often, but I do up here where I wasn't born in Hell.  Anyway, being from Hell; and also now being a good guy, Hellboy isn't supposed to really laugh at people like Wembley when their guts fly all over the place after they have been punched into goo by a huge fist; but that was the problem.  Because Hellboy still did laugh about it and he realizes that he should probably feel bad about it, but he doesn't and he really shouldn't have to.  This is a deathmatch after all and it is what everyone was sent here to do.  The Terminator from Terminator 3 is just like the terminators from the first two movies but he is older and more experienced because as it turns out he has already been in two other Terminator movies before he was in the third one.  So this Terminator, the third one that is decides that he is going to fight against all five of the dark side marauders.  Now a dark side marauder is really tough, but did you know that there is something even tougher than a dark side marauder.  I do.  It's two dark side marauders.  But actually, there is something even tougher than two dark side marauders.  That would be three dark side marauders.  And as it would turn out there is even something tougher than three dark side marauders.  Do you know what that would be??  WRONG.  It is four dark side marauders and I have a feeling that you had something else in mind.  Oh.  You didn't??  I'm not sure I believe that.  But I do believe this.  I do believe this and that thing I believe is that there is something even more powerful than four dark side marauders.  That thing that I believe is more powerful than four dark side marauders is five dark side marauders.  There is another thing out there that is even more powerful than five dark side marauders.  Does anyone know what it is??  Did someone just say six dark side marauders??  Well, that isn't it.  What are you stupid or something??  It is a Terminator.  The one from Terminator 3.  Tai Lung was wondering if he was quicker than silver or as witchy as Scarlet; but it turned out that he wasn't.  I don't know if you know this but he is from Kung Fu Panda and he isn't even a panda.  He does like snow; but he was no match for a witch that was Scarlet and a silver that was quick.  Asura wanted to take this conversation, this story, this periodical to a different level.  To a more serious level.  A level of seriousness that this serious match deserves.  So Asura decided to take on Galactus who is a very serious character.  But instead Galactus used his cosmic powers, because his powers are very cosmic and he made a bunch of very serious and very cosmic poop in a very serious and very cosmic diaper and put it on Asura's face.  It was a diaper.  And you know what diapers are like don't you??  They have poop in them.  And they smell.  At least most poop I have run into smells.  Hasn't that been your experience with poop too.  It's smelly.  Elita One, Powerglide, and Robot Sonic are all robots.  You wouldn't know it by their names except for Robot Sonic.  In his case he puts the fact that he is a robot right in his name.  His name is Robot Sonic.  He doesn't just go by Sonic.  He lets you know he is a robot version.  They decide that they are gonna get in a fight.  Or their central processors or whatever decide for them.  Because they're robots.  They have robot brains.  Not human ones.  Robots.  So, anyway these fellas, robot fellas decide that they are gonna pick a fight with The Watchmen.  Do you know about them.  They were in a movie and comic book.  And they are really edgy.  Which is what the kids like these days.  It's almost all of The Watchmen, but they don't have Dr. Manhattan.  And the problem with not having Dr. Manhattan on your Watcmen team is that he is actually the best one; so when they try to fight a bunch of big robots, they don't do very good.  In fact they do kind of bad.  They actually lose.  Then there was this guy Radahn.  Now I went to Wikipedia to look him up and says this.  It says.  Well, it says the following.  It says this, it says that Radahn, yeah this guy Radahn is a powerful demigod.  It says he is also known as the "Lord of the battlefield".  That quite a thing to say.  It also says he is the "Starscourge".  It says that because he has a mastery of gravity magic which he used to halt the stars movement.  It says he is the son of Rennala and Radagon, he is a tragic figure you see who was once celebrated warrior who became a mindless beast yet still commands immense respect and power even in his weakened state.  It says that he is famous for his massive size, his loyal steed.  This fella by the name of Leonard and his iconic Starscourge Greatswords.  Not just swords, but great swords.  They are a lot like regular swords but a lot more great.  It says all that ya see.  But Radahn, this guy Radahn, remember him that I just told you all those things about he was no match for Hal Jordan, especially when this fella Hal, was teamed up with his friend Freddy.  I call him Freddy because we go way back, but with his surname included he goes by Freddy Kruegar.  Now that Radahn fella that I says all that stuff about was no match for Hal and Freddy ya see. Because Fred had some sharp claws and Hal had a ring.  A green one.  On their hands ya see.  Red and Mokey were hanging out together but they aren't very big.  Ya see they are a thing called a Fraggle.  Fraggles are quite little.  Just little guys named fraggles.  They ran into a couple of tough hombres by the name of Stratos and Mechaneck.  Now those may seem like unusual names to you and me; but they are from Eternia.  Yeah.  It's a place called Eternia and when you're on Eternia names like Mechanek and Stratos are like Bill and Jim.  They grow em pretty big on Eternia too and when they go to fight against those fraggles we were talking about.  You remember those fraggles we were talking about.  Well, they win the fight ya see.  There was also this fella named Reflector; but ya see this fella named Reflector was actually made up of three gentlemen who go by the names Spectro, Spyglass, and Viewfinder.  They meet up with this guy Mick Foley who starts bashing his face into the side of their metal bodies to get himself all bloody, because it wouldn't be Mick Foley if he wasn't all bloody.  But the problem with too much blood loss is that it can kill ya.  And that's what happened to that Mick fella.  He died.  Volodamir Zelensky was there too.  Remember that guy from the news a while back.  He was the guy who didn't have a suit, but he used to dress up like he was one of those homos.  He is from a place call The Ukraine and I guess over there, over by Russia over there in this place called The Ukraine they have a lot of homos.  They wear a lot of black chaps and stuff that shows off their butts.  Because they're homos.  He was supposed to be a big part of this match before I decided to go a different route with it.  He was gonna blow up Trogdoor the Burninator, who is actually a dragon.  But he was gonna blow up that Trogdoor fella with all the weapons that he got from The United States; but I think they all got used up in Iran before he could do that; so he didn't.  Or actually we will say he did blow that dragon up because the media lies to us.  You know those politicians they are all liars.  Like that Bill Clinton fella.  Remember him??  He said he didn't have sexual relations with that woman; but as it turned out, he did actually have sexual relations with her.  That Zelensky fella ended up dying in that bomb too; but what he didn't do was have sexual relations with a woman.  Because he was from this place called The Ukraine.  And they are all homos there.  King Randor fought with The Noid which many of you might not think would be a great fight; but as it turns out they both had really big hammers.  Randor actually had the smaller hammer; but he had the bigger muscles which answers the age old question.  That famous adage that big muscles are better than big hammers.  Remember that Odin fella??  Well, he is still here and he isn't done fighting with other fellas from that other team.  So, he decides to take on that guy Hal, and his friend, that other guy Fred.  You remember him don't cha??  And that girl Scarlet and that fella Silver.  That fella Silver is that chick Scarlet's brother as it turns out.  I don't know if I mentioned that earlier.  Well, anyway Odin decides he is gonna take all four of them on at once.  That would be a tough thing to do I he were like you or me; but he isn't.  He is one of those gods.  Not like the real God or anything, we are talking a bout a god with a small g, not the God with a big G.  While he is doing that Galactus decides that he is going to fight all those robots we mentioned earlier.  Do you remember all those robots.  Well in case you don't there were several robots that we mentioned earlier.  Well, in case you forgot there was that fella named Reflector who was really three fellas by the names of Spectro, Spyglass, and Viewfinder.  And there were those other robot fellas by the names of, well they went by the names of Elita One, Powerglide, The Terminator, and then there was that fella named Robot Sonic.  Now, I don't think I need to remind you about Robot Sonic and I don't think I need to remind you that Robot Sonic was a Robot.  Ya see, that was a fella who was nice enough to put the robot part right into his name.  Now these robot fellas couldn't quite take out Galactus but they did do a number on his pal David.  David Byrne was his full Christian name.  And he had a thing called a Gloom Sword.  Not a doom sword, because he didn't bring Doom with it, he brought Gloom.  Those robots were big and strong.  Much bigger and stronger than us flesh and blood fellas ya see.  They were robots after all.  Those robots made short work of that Dave fella.  Odin wasn't able to take down that foursome of tough guys that he took on either; but Silver and Fred didn't make it out ya see. Which left some of those Eternians we mentioned earlier.  You remember the Eternians don't ya??  They were the fellas from Eternia.  And they were hanging out with Sigrun and Hellboy who were some pretty tough hombres as well.  

But ya see, none of that is all that important.  I was just telling you that to lead up to the real story I came here to tell.  Ya see, this is a story about a fella I met named Gobo.  Kind of a silly sounding name for someone like me or you; but ya see this wasn't a fella like me or you.  This is a different kind of fella.  A fella by the name of Gobo.  Ya see Gobo, this fella named Gobo.  Ya see he was a Fraggle.  And Fraggles aren't like you and me.  And this Fraggle, well this fella who was a fraggle he had a mission.  It was a mission from the fantasy fantasy league to take out this whole team of fellas called The Sigmaz.  And this was gonna be a tough mission, because the Sigmaz, yeah these fella who call themselves The Sigmaz are a tough bunch of mother scratchers.  At least that is what I call tough guys, I don't know what you call them.  So these Mother Scratchers called the Sigmaz they were probably gonna be ready for a fight when this fella Gobo, my friend Gobo who I had done some talking with showed up for the fight.  So Gobo, that Fraggle fella set out for quite a journey.  A journey that was especially large for suh a small fella, because the thing about a fella like Gobo is that he is really small.  He's a small fella, but that is pretty common for fellas who are fraggles.  Fraggles are all small fellas.  At least the ones I have met.  So, anyway as the match begins Gobo makes his way through the frozen tundra of Escanaba.  This place isn't always frozen it actually gets pretty warm during the Summer, which is what Summers tend to do as I understand it; but  this is winter and winters are cold.  Especially in Escanaba, and especially for a fella that isn't very large.  Like a fraggle.  They don't have much body fat to keep them warm because he is small ya see.  Fraggles are small.  And this Gobo fella is Fraggle.  So, Gobo starts running.  Because he wants to get to the battle fast, and the fastest way to get to a battle like this is to run.  So, Gobo shows up to the battle; but as it turns out the battle is already over.  I guess Gobo was too late for the battle ya see.  Gobo missed the whole damn battle.  

Which brings me to the moral of this story which is simple.  If you want to get somewhere on time, you should not have really small legs. 

Week 6: Cowboy Killers vs 1992 Space Movie

 The Cowboy Killers are:

Galadriel w/ Inigo Lantern Ring, Darth Malgus w/ Red Lantern Ring, Ultron, The Deluxe Incecticons (Venom, Barrage, Chop Shop, and Ransack), Beast Wars Megatron, The Inhumans (Black Bolt, Lockjaw, Medusa, Karnak, Maximus, and Triton), Surtur, William Howard Taft w/ baseball bat, Vladimir Putin w/ Crysknife, and 12 orcs.

 

1992 Space Movie are:

Capt. N The Gamemaster w/ Duke and Gameboy, Wedge Antilles & Rowdy Roddy Piper w/ baseball bat in Wedge’s Snow Speeder,  Twincast w/ Decibal and Legout, Cybertronian Guardians #1-3, Cybertronian Guardians 4 & 5 (final lives), Skywarp, Tommy Oliver The Green Ranger w/ White Lantern Ring, Chuck Norris, Herbie the Elf, She-Ra and Swiftwind, Krypto, Bat-Mite w/ Dwarf Ring #6 (Final Life), Ch’p and Dr. Ub’x, Carnage w/ the ring of Volthoom, Cade Skywalker, Biggs Darklighter, Edwin Zacharski, Jerry Zacharski, John Zacharski, Walter Day, and Andrew Laidlaw in the Outlaw, Thundarr the Barbarian, Princess Ariel (not the mermaid), Ookla, Mok, Detective Lubic w/ 12 gauge pump shotgun, Seeker #13, and Sharkticon #10.

 

The race for the National League is heating up as these two teams step into the frigid air of Escanaba. It so cold that despite the hype for this NLCS rematch many of the teams’ members have resorted to contemplating their existence when met with the harsh realities of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.

 

“What is the point of this?” ponders Rowdy Roddy Piper as he sits around the fireplace in a remote cabin. “Why of all places are we in this freezing ass hell hole? Just to fight die, and repeat. There has to be more to life than this.”

Chuck Norris steps over to respond “I have lived and died here as well as the real world. Life is beautiful. The struggle is the purpose.”

“Wait, real life, what are you talking about?” Responds a baffled RRP when Bat-Mite walks over and hands him a pair of glasses.

“With these you can see who really controls you.” Says Bat-Mite before disappearing elsewhere to battle. The team gets the signal and RRP hops into the snow speeder with Wedge.

 

Meanwhile in Delta Masonic Lodge #195….

 

“What is that hunk of iron over there?” Taft inquires as he scrubs his back with a Loofah.

Pointing over to Beast Wars Megatron, Putin replies in his thick Russian accent “Sir, that is a robot. It is a conscious, highly intelligent advanced being.”

 

“Applesauce!” exclaims Taft as he rinses water over himself. “That appears to be a large weapon of destruction. You people from the future may think yourselves smart but that is a demon. Hand me my towel.”

 

Putin hands him his towel as Taft stands up from the bathtub, without difficulty.

 

“Listen commie, don’t be a nance, avert your gaze.” Taft dries himself off as he continues “Humans are conscious, they create. We have created everything around you that you see. We have survived and thrived in this treacherous climate we find ourselves in today. That requires consciousness, creativity.” He puts on his trousers.

 

“Lookie here.” As he picks up his baseball bat. “Look at the curves, then engineering, the love that went into crafting this. Babe Ruth himself hit 42 round trippers with this particular bat for the loveliest game that humanity has created. He named it Old Sam. Only a conscious being could create something so beautiful and name it. That thing over there. That is an overpowered abacus.” Taft buttons up his shirt.

With that Megatron transforms into a T-Rex, moves inches from Taft’s face, and lets out a loud roar. Taft is completely unfazed.

 

“Terrible Lizard and a demon! I had heard falsehoods of those in my day. I see that the future is keen on combining fairy tales.” He puts on his vest and hat. “This will do for our purposes”. With that he grabs Old Sam and climbs on the back of Megatron. “Time to see the elephant!” as he straightens out his mustache and rides off on Megatron, leading the Cowboy Killers into battle.

 

Both teams meet on the battlefield where things quickly become chaotic and confusing. The snow and wind are making it difficult to see precisely what is happening. Almost everyone has a look of misery on their face as they endure the extremely cold temperatures. I see what appears to be Capt. N firing his blaster while Duke and Krypto bite Galadriel’s legs. Gameboy’s screen appears frozen. Surtur appears to be struggling to even survive but his existence is making the temperature tolerable for everyone else. The orcs appear to be confused as some are fighting each other not realizing who they are and others are engaging Thundarr the Barbarian. I see Wedge circling around the Insecticons with his tow cable. While riding Megatron, Taft plays polo with the heads of Detective Lubic and Herbie the Elf.

 

The weather appear to calm momentarily as Cybertronian Guardians #4 & 5 make their Japanese creators proud as they kamikaze into the center of the action, creating a massive explosion and indiscriminately doing massive damage to both teams.

 

After some time Rowdy Roddy Piper lifts his head in the crashed snow speeder. He gets out and makes haste for his team’s cabin.

 

Taft picks himself up out of the snow, brushes off his shoulders and begins to assess the situation. He sees a man running in the distance.

“Man of metal, are you of any further use?”

Megatron responds “I still function” before transforming back into a T-Rex.

 

Back in the cabin where he has regrouped with Chuck Norris, Rowdy Roddy Piper puts the glasses on that were given to him by Bat-Mite.

“I can see it, we are being watched!”

 

Just then a T-Rex stomps through the roof of the cabin. It immediately chews Chuck Norris with its mighty jaw and swallows him. Taft climbs down from Megatron.

 

“President Taft! I need to show you something!” exclaims RRP. But Taft wastes no time slamming him with his bat.

 

“It’s Chief Justice Taft to you, ragamuffin!” as he hits him several more times.

 

RRP pulls out his bat and slams Taft on the back of his head knocking him to the ground. “Please, try these on” as he tries to put his glasses on Taft.

 

Taft regains his composure and slams RRP in the face with his bat. “I will never insult my face with the clothing of a peasant!”

He then swings repeatedly into RRP ribs and stomach.

“Come on you dewdropper, do you have any drive in you at all?”

RRP flails around for his bat, grabs it and manages to connect with Taft’s kneecap.

“What a weak sister, you can do better!” then RRP swings hard and takes out his other knee, bringing Taft to the floor.

 

“Mr Presid-I mean Chief Justice, please try these on!” as his swollen hands fumble trying to put the glasses on Taft, who resists and punches his throat causing RRP to gasp for air. This gives Taft a moment to compose himself. Standing again he grabs his bat, takes a few steps and begins winding up.

 

“I knew a softie like you would be no match for Old Sam!” as he inflicts great pain into RRP’s vertebrae.

 

“Old Sam? That is MY bat’s name, it used to belong to The Great Bambino himself!” RRP tries to hold up the bat as Taft knocks it out of his hands, followed by a pummeling of swings into his sides. Taft lowers his mouth towards RRP’s ear.

 

“I would normally have a few words for a man before I end his life. A tramp like you does not deserve niceties!” But before he can act RRP head butts him and rises to his feet. He picks up his bat and gives him a thwack on the hip followed by a blow to the chin and the back of his head.

 

RRP tosses down his bat and searches for the glasses. Taft is on his side barely conscious when he sees both blood stained bats on the ground. They appear to have identical autographs.

“Bunny! Your bat is a forgery!” but then he looks closer. The wood grain matches exactly.

 

“I’ll try the glasses” he says, intending to give himself some time to regroup. Taft stands up and gestures towards RRP that he will take the glasses and gives him a knuckle sandwich.

A violent exchange of fists ensues.

 

“C’mon you rube, is that all you can muster!” Taft taunts. RRP then feeds him a haymaker that knocks him back to the ground. RRP picks up the glasses and forces them onto Taft, who suddenly can see that he is being watched.

 

“Eureka! You sir are a solid citizen after all!”

 

Just then a hole blasts open in the side of Megatron, extinguishing his spark. A battered Chuck Norris emerges.

“I see the two of you have made an important discovery. Come with me, I have something to show you”.

Chuck then brings them to a far off place. It is a mysterious place with many rooms. They look around and see many rooms full of monitors. On the screens they see battles of what looks like many of the other members of the league. The monitors in one of the rooms looks very familiar, with dead bodies strewn all over the ground.

Then it clicks for Taft. “That’s where we fought earlier. I see the lodge, the cabin, the field where we fought!”

“Yes, this is the league HQ, where we make sure everything is running to plan. And now you know too much.” Chuck quips with barely a moment’s pause before he promotes them to their next lives with a singular round house kick.

FFL 2026 Week 6: Doctor's Madhouse vs. The Goobers

The Doctor’s Madhouse: Powergirl, Highfather, Blue Marvel, Franklin Richards, Hancock, Avatar Wan, Water Bender #1-5, Blood Bender #1-2, The Penguin, Frosty the Snowman, Vixen, Blade, Elrond w/ Elven Ring, Elf #9-10 (both Final Death), John & Ted, & Predator #1-20 (Predator #1 is Final Death)

Grayson, Jack, & Ben’s Goobers: Mr. Freeze, Red Hulk, Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze), Winter Soldier w/ Sam Bonser, Tom Brady & Jake Moody in the Zombieland Hummer, Sub-Zero, The Incredibles: Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash, Jack-Jack, & Frozone, Shadow the Hedgehog w/ all of the Chaos Emeralds, The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic, Human Torch, The Thing, and Zombie Invisible Woman, Conner Weidman: The Drink w/ J.R.R. Tolkien & Blaze the Cat in a Tesla Cybertruck, Legends Luke Skywalker w/ a Blue Lantern Ring in a T-16 Skyhopper, George Bush in a F-5 Tiger, Omniman, Frost Giant #1-3, Star Destroyer Pilot and Star Destroyer Co-Pilot in a Twin Pod Bespin Cloud Car, Home One Pilot in a MiG-29, Home One Co-Pilot in a MiG-29

Hello everyone, we have a match today between The Doctor’s Madhouse and Grayson, Jack, & Ben’s Goobers at Michigan Upper Peninsula small hunting town of Escanaba, specifically on the date of January 1, 2026.

Let me set the scene for you…

Escanaba has just seen a record snowfall, upwards of 27 inches. Docs Madhouse has just set up camp for the night, deep in the forest. Unbeknownst to them, The Goobers are walking the trails of the forest looking for them. 

After scouring all of the trails of Escanaba, Mr. Fantastic stops the team and says “They must be far off the beaten path, we must brave this snow and search the Forest.” Conner takes charge with the Cybertruck and leads the way. He gets about 20ft off the trail until his Cybertruck gets stuck. Wintersoldier tries to do the same and also gets his Hummer stuck. Both vehicles' occupants get out of their respective vehicles and walk the rest of the way.   

Omniman flies up in the air to scout ahead, he eventually returns to the group reporting that The Docs Madhouse has set up camp about a ¼ mile ahead. Mr. Fantastic orders “Team, we will walk ahead until we get to their camp, once we do, I want us to surround the camp, and on my command, we strike. I’ll have our ships fly in and attack once we’ve attacked, I don’t want their loud ships to awaken the Madhouse.”

The Goobers arrive at the camp of the Madhouse and begin to surround them, Dash snickers and quietly whispers to Violet “Wow, The Madhouse must have been bored, they built a snowman.”

Everyone gets in position, Mr. Fantastic looks around and counts down from 5 using his fingers. 5…, 4…, 3… when all of a sudden Conner Weidman is hit in the chest with multiple bullets, Shadow has been pierced through the chest by a spear, Tolkien and Blaze Cat are blown up by a rocket, the Frost Giants are missing and only leave a trail of blood, Sam Bonser, Tom Brady and Jake Moody have been stabbed in the back, & Mr. Freeze has been melted to death by what appears to be a Flamethrower all in a matter of seconds. Mr. Fantastic yells “ATTACK!!” then calls out on his walkie talkie “WE NEED AIR SUPPORT NOW!!”. Omniman calls out “THEY HAVE MEN IN THE TREES!!” 

What the Goobers didn’t know is that all 20 Predators had set up positions high into the trees to do night watch, they used their camouflage to avoid being seen.

Avatar Wan and the rest of the Water Benders use the snow to create an ice shield to block ranged attacks from the Goobers. The Goobers charge and the battle begins.

Red Hulk jumps into the trees and goes on a rampage, he kills Predators #11-20, while the rest of the Predators are on the ground and continue their attack. 

Blade cuts the head off of Invisible Woman, even though she’s not a Vampire, his disdain for zombies is equal. Then says “Some mothafuckas always trying to ice skate uphill.” Hancock responds “That doesn’t even make any sense.” As he’s then punched by Red Hulk and flies 100 yards back until the trees finally slow him down. 

The Goobers air support finally arrives and hits the battle with a volley of shots. The Penguin, John & Ted and Vixen are taken out.

Powergirl yells to her team “I’ll take care of the air support.” She flies up and takes out the air support quite quickly. Hits both MiG-29s with her heat vision, she flies through the center of the Twin Pod Bespin Cloud Car, takes out one of the wings of the F-5 and then takes an engine out of Luke Skywalker’s T-16. All pilots die except for Luke Skywalker.

Frozone and Sub-Zero work together and take out the rest of the Predators while the Incredibles join and take out the Blood Benders.

The Fantastic Four attack Blade out of revenge for their fallen undead teammate and though Blade puts up a good fight, it is not enough as The Thing eventually rips him in half. Though Blue Marvel and Franklin Richards join the fight and take out the remaining Fantastic Four members.

Avatar Wan and the rest of the water benders throw spears of ice at Ghost Rider, the engulfed skeleton uses his chain to slash the icicles out of the air and then wraps the OG Avatar and Water Benders with his chain, then engulfing the chain in fire.The Avatar and Water Benders burn to death.

Winter Soldier and Red Hulk team up and they take out Elrond and his Elf companions, then Red Hulk is able to snap Hancock’s neck, and as they start to get their groove Supergirl and Blue Marvel intervene. Supergirl uses her heat vision to melt Winter Soldier’s arm off, then Blue Marvel grabs Winter Soldier and rips him in half. Supergirl then focuses her attention to Red Hulk, he puts up a good fight and is even able to greatly tire and injure Blue Marvel and Supergirl, eventually he was slain. 

Omniman flies and puts in work against Supergirl and Blue Marvel, normally he would be outmanned in this fight but because Red Hulk has injured them, he is able to take them both out.

Highfather and Franklin Richards show great chemistry when taking out the Incredibles and Sub-Zero and then continue their chemistry to take out Ghost Rider as Franklin Richards is able to turn him into a pile of ash using his Energy Construct abilities.

Though their chemistry is short lived as Omniman flies into the back of Franklin Richards and gets on top of him on the ground. Punching Franklin Richards head in until his face is unrecognizable. He then turns his focus to Highfather and attempts to do the same, but is unsuccessful this time as Highfather has the superior strength and bests him. 

Highfather thinks he has won, but his thought is short lived as Luke Skywalker stabs him in the back with his lightsaber.

Luke takes a breather feeling victorious, and begins to set up camp for the night. “I’ll make my way back to town in the morning” he says. 

As he goes to light the campfire a spear flies through his back and is visible in the front. He attempts to yell in pain, but all he can let out is a faint loss of breath as he falls to his death.

Frosty the Snowman woke up late and missed the battle, he saw that Luke was setting up camp and grabbed one of the Predator’s spears and threw it through Luke’s torso.

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Sigmas

 Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Ghazan, Avatar Roku, Polar Battle Bear, The Flash, Black Hand, Black Lantern Black Dragon, Adam Warlock, Colossus, Thor, Loki, Red Skull, General Grevious, (Syndicate) Maul, & The Wampa.

The Sigmas are Dante & Randall, Vincent Vega, Marcellus Wallace, Butch, Marcus Brody, Helen of Troy, August Walker, Sarah Conner, Jessie & Meowth, Charmander, Charizard, Dug Trio, Jordan Peterson, Green Day: Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, & Tre Cool, Mark Hamill, MLK Jr., Thomas Jefferson, Benito Mussolini, Aristotle, Andrew Jackson, Alexander Hamilton, Mark "The Bird" Fiddrich, Fred Stathers (w/ a Ray Gun), Neil Patrick Harris, Blaster w/ his Cassettes, Ornn, Oin, Fili, Thrain II, Dori, Dwalin, Roboto, Snout Spout, Whiplash, Modulock, Dean Saglio, Bozo the Clown, Matt Leblanc, & CJ the Dicord Destroyer.

  

Week 6 Democracy: TEAM Vs. Dolla 49 McRib

TEAM is Vampire Thanos, Set, Ragnarok, Beta Ray Bill, The Oracle w/ Seraph, Corbin Dallas w/ his homie Santa Claus w/ Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, Mark Constantagious & Mel Gibson in a Lamborghini, Conner Weidman & Bubble Monkey #10 in Conner's Mazda, Tripticon, Hercules, & Tarlok.

Dolla 49 McRib is: Steppenewolfe, Dr. Midnight, Ultraman, Amazo, Anti Monitor, Dr. Strange & Wong, Knull, Accuser, Genis-Velle, & Beast Man.    

FFL 2026 Week 5: 1992 Space Movie vs. brock Sampson's Murderflies

1992 Space Movie: Skeletor w/ Orange Lantern Ring, Black Lantern Dex-Tar w/ Red Lantern Ring, Yaddle w/ Green Lantern Ring, Aayla Secura w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Nemesis Enforcer w/ Indigo Lantern Ring and The Sword of Darkness, Carol Ferris w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Sodom Yat, Romat Ru, Tommy Oliver: The Green Power Ranger w/ White Lantern Ring, Carnage w/ The Ring of Volthoom, Zuko’s Dragon, Krillin, Krypto, Wedge Antilles and Biggs Darklighter in Wedge’s Snow Speeder, Metamorpho, Thufir Hawat, Keiren Atreides, Orlop, Kaleff, Godric Gryffindor, Aragog, Acromantula #1-5, Theoden King, Haldir, Goldberry, Balin, Black Lantern Wolverine (Final Death), Vampire X-23, Daken, Havoc, Quasar, John McLane w/ Machine Gun and Beretta 92, The Ghostbusters: Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz, Agon Spengler, & Winston Zeddimore, Danny Ocean w/ Frank Catton, Robert Ryan, Reuben Tishkoff, Virgil Malloy, Turk Malloy, Livingston Dell, Basher Tarr, Yen, Saul Bloom & Linus Cadwell, Chuck Norris, Roy Houslander w/ Family Katana and Dark Saber, Cade Skywalker, Darth Plagueis, Homelander, & Toad (Mario)

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: Naruto, Ghazan, Zaheer, Amon, Pakku, Avatar Roku, Polar Battle Bear, The Flash, Aquaman, Black Hand, Johnny Quick, Man-Bat, Batzarro, Paul Maud Dib, Count Glossu Rabban, Black Lantern Black Dragon, Maximus Meridius , Alastar Moody, Remus Lupin, Nymphodora Tonks, Gandalf The White, Nazgul #8, Adam Warlock, Colossus, Thor, Loki, Sherrone Moore (w/Butter Knife), Vampire Bite Emperor Palpatine, Darth Bane , General Grievous, The Wampa

FOREST

1992 Space Movie: Zuko’s Dragon, Krillin, Krypto, Godric Gryffindor, Aragog, Acromantula #1-5, Theoden King, Haldir, Goldberry, Balin, Black Lantern Wolverine (Final Death), Vampire X-23, Daken, Havoc, Quasar, Chuck Norris, Roy Houslander w/ Family Katana and Dark Saber, Cade Skywalker, Darth Plagueis, Metamorpho, Thufir Hawat, Keiren Atreides, Orlop, Kaleff, & Toad

Brock Sampson’s Boys: Naruto, Ghazan, Zaheer, Amon, Pakku, Avatar Roku, Polar Battle Bear, Paul Maud Dib, Count Glossu Rabban, Black Lantern Black Dragon, Maximus Meridius, Alastar Moody, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Sherrone Moore (w/Butter Knife), Gandalf The White, Nazgul #8 & The Wampa

Brock Sampson’s boys have set up camp in a field just outside the forest of Playoff Planet. Maximus is the General of the Murderflies in this battle and after consulting with Gandalf, he has decided to send Sherrone Moore out as a scout to find the 1992 Space Movies. After about an hour of time has passed, the scouts headless body has been shot out of the forest and lands in the camp of the Murderflies. 

Maximus calls for the Murderflies to get into battle formation as the Space Movie team have walked out of the Forest and have begun charging towards their enemy. Wolverine leads the charge with his patented yell as the rest of Space Movie follows, except for X-23 as she cannot leave the shade of the trees from the forest due to her vampire status. 

Maximus leads his team in a charge and when the teams collide in battle, chaos ensues. Avatar Roku uses his fire bending abilities to burn Aragog and the rest of the Acromantula’s to a crisp, Wolverine goes on a spree and kills the Wampa, Polar Battle Bear and Rabban Harkonnen, Zuko’s Dragon takes out the Black Dragon but its wings have been damaged and Naruto gets revenge on his Black Dragon teammate and also kills Krillin, Krypto & Havoc. 

Maximus and Theoden King are able to knock each other off of their horses and engage in sword to sword combat. Theoden King gives a valiant effort but Maximus is the better swordsman and cuts his head off with his Roman Sword. Haldir attacks Maximus in revenge of Theoden but Maximus’s Nazgul teammate comes to the defense of his general and is successful in doing so as he stabs the elf through his back. Though Maximus’s and the Nazguls victory is short lived as Zuko’s Dragon burns them both to ash.

While the battle is going on, Gandalf notices X-23 standing in the shade, and realizes that she’s sitting there due to her being a vampire. Gandlaf takes advantage of this and shoots her with the Flame of Anor which burns as hot as the sun and pulverizes X-23.

Alastar Moody, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks team up to take out Godric Gryffindor as they know one on one against him they would not be successful. But three v one is too much for the wizard legend as Godric Gryffindor is slain by his Harry Potter Universe peers. Maud Dib joins them by taking out his own universe peers as well. He uses his superior Fremen fighting abilities to take out Thufir, Keiren Atredies, Orlop and Kaleff.  

Gandalf and the rest of the Wizards of the Murderflies join up with the benders and put in work against some members of 1992 Space Movie. Amon uses his blood bending to snap the neck of Balin, Pakku uses water from his flask to create an icicle and throws it through the chest of Goldberry, Zaheer uses his air bending to launch Roy Houslander up into the air and then Avatar Roku hits him with a boulder so hard that breaks every bone in his body, and Gandalf and the Harry Potter wizards used their powers to defeat Quasar and Chuck Norris.

After watching his brethren perish, Wolverine enrages and Dekan teams up with him as they go after the Murderflies. Wolverine is sprinting as hard as he can towards Amon as Amon goes to use his blood bending abilities to control Wolverine, but they are unsuccessful as Wolverine’s mutant powers prevent his blood from being controlled. By the time Amon realizes that it is too late as Wolverine stabs Amon through his chest with both sets of claws and lifts him through, yelling at all his might while doing so. Wolverine then throws Amon aside and continues towards Pakku. Pakku takes the water from his flask and throws an icicle spear through Wolverine's chest. Logan is unfazed and slashes Pakku across his face, killing him instantly.

While Wolverine was killing Murderflies, Dekan was doing the same. Dekan focused on the Harry Potter Wizards and was successful in vanquishing them all. He kills Moody, Lupin and Tonks. You may have thought Wolverine was done with his rampage, but he’s not, he then kills Naruto, Ghazan, Zaheer, Avatar Roku and Maud Dib.   

As Wolverine and Dekan were going on their rampage, Gandalf noticed his team was heavily out manned and victory was not possible for the Murderfiles in the Forest. He determined that the only way they could secure a victory was to help his teammates in the City so that is where he has retreated.

The survivors from the 1992 Space Movie will join their teammates in the City.

CITY

1992 Space Movie: Skeletor w/ Orange Lantern Ring, Black Lantern Dex-Tar w/ Red Lantern Ring, Yaddle w/ Green Lantern Ring, Aayla Secura w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Nemesis Enforcer w/ Indigo Lantern Ring and The Sword of Darkness, Carol Ferris w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Sodom Yat, Romat Ru, Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger w/ White Lantern Ring, Carnage w/ The Ring of Volthoom, Wedge Antilles and Biggs Darklighter in Wedge’s Snow Speeder, John McLane w/ Machine Gun and Beretta 92, The Ghostbusters: Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz, Agon Spengler, & Winston Zeddimore, Danny Ocean w/ Frank Catton, Robert Ryan, Reuben Tishkoff, Virgil Malloy, Turk Malloy, Livingston Dell, Basher Tarr, Yen, Saul Bloom & Linus Cadwell, & Homelander

Brock Sampson’s Boys: The Flash, Aquaman, Black Hand, Johnny Quick, Man-Bat, Batzarro, Adam Warlock, Colossus, Thor, Loki, Vampire Bite Emperor Palpatine, Darth Bane , & General Grievous

While the battle in the Forest was being fought, the battle in the City was also being fought. By the time I arrived at the City, Brock Sampson’s boys DOMINATED the city. The Murderflies had taken out all of 1992 Space Movie except for the lantern bearers, while only losing Aquaman, Black Hand and Man-Bat.

The Lanterns are able to escape the carnage from Brock Sampson’s Murder Flies and huddle up in the penthouse of the tallest skyscraper in the City. They conduct a meeting to gameplan a chance at a comeback win.

Yaddle says “We should wait for our survivors from the Forest to join us. We went heavy on the forest and should have many survivors left.”

Skeletor responds “We don’t know for sure that we’ll have survivors from the Forest. It looks to be that the Murderflies sent Gandalf to the Forest. I don’t care how outnumbered they were in the Forest, you can never doubt the powers of Gandlaf the White.”

Aayla Secura chimes in “We can’t wait much longer, the longer we wait, the more time we give the Murderflies to regroup and take us out.”

Sodam Yat says confidently “We have the full spectrum here, we should use it to our full advantage. We used it poorly so far, but we can bounce back and win this.”

During 1992 Space Movies huddle up, the Murderflies regrouped at the edge of the city. Emperor Palpatine has ordered Adam Warlock to scout the city quickly to find the 1992 Space Movies. Adam Warlock comes back from his scouting mission and says “Emperor, I’ve found the remaining members of 1992 Space Movie, they’ve taken refuge in the pent house of the tallest skyscraper in the city.” Palpatine cackles and says “Gooood, we will take them out swiftly. Warlock and Thor fly just below the penthouse and wait for the Elevator bell to ring.”

The rest of the Murderflies bunch up into the elevator and make their way up to the penthouse. Palpatine orders "Grievous, I’ll put up a shield with the force to block initial blasts from the lanterns, use your lightsabers to block the rest.”

The elevator bell goes off, 1992 Space Movie looks to the elevator when Adam Warlock and Thor fly through the glass from outside. Palpatine puts up his shield and Grievous has lightsabers out to block blasts. But they are able to walk out the elevator with no issue as all of the lantern bearers do not have their rings on them. The Murderflies kill the former lantern bearers in a matter of seconds. Palpatine calls out to the team “Find who’s missing, one of the lantern bearers must have all the rings!”

Loki responds “I think it’s Sodam Yat General.”

Palpatine exclaims “Thor, Adam Warlock, find Sodam Yat now.” 

They fly out of the windows of the skyscraper and look to the sky but they are too late as once they fly out the planet is vaporized in a quick flash…

All that’s left is Sodam Yat floating in space with all the rings on him.  

2026 Week 5: Sigmas vs Sigmaz

Sigmas: Satoru Gojo, Griffith, Dio Brando, The Pillar Men (Kars, Esidisi, Wamuu, Santana), Su-Yin, Mon-Starr, Deadshot, Batman, Hawkman & Hawkwoman, Bane, Huntress, Duncan Idaho (final death), Gurney Halleck, Chani, Moneo Atreides, Rhombur Vernius in B-Wing, The Witch King of Angmar on Fell Beast, Smaug, Melkor, King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, Nessa, The Black Order (Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf, Corvus Glaive, Supergiant), Mr. Sinister, Darkhawk, Nightmare, Anakin Skywalker in TIE Dagger, Aatrox (final death), Percival de Rolo, Grog Strongjaw, Iron Hide

Sigmaz: Goku, Eren Yaeger, Gurren Lagann, Guts, Vash the Stampede (1998), Avatar Aang, Azula, Tai Lee, Mai, Lobo, Kratos (final death), Atreus, Fenrir, Rowena Ravenclaw, Death, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers forming Megazord, The Straw Hats (Sanji, Zoro, Jimbe, Nico Robin, Franky), Malcolm X in Vibranium Suit w/ Green Lightsaber, Unabomber in Ironman Suit, Ronald McDonald w/ Rito Bow, Grimmace, Hamburgler, Officer Big Mac, Mayor McCheese, Birdie the Early Bird, Captain Crook, The Professor, Fry Kid #1, Fry Kid #3 (final death), Barack Obama, Adolf Hitler, The TMNT (Leonardo w/ Glock 35, Donatello w/ Glock 21, Michelangelo w/ Glock 38, Raphael w/ Glock 20), Grimlok, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, Swoop, God Emperor of Mankind 40K, Brightburn, Radahn, Doomguy w/ BFG, Spawn, Solomon Grundy, Huzz #1, Domestic Terrorist #1

Sigmas vs Sigmaz, huzz vs chuzz, skibidi vs toilet, rizzler vs aura farmer… many names have been spoken in regard to this rivalry. Once brothers, now sworn enemies who must face each other in the largest setting possible…

This planet’s integrity is instantly challenged from a sky fracturing battle. Melkor clashes with God Emperor of Mankind 40K, Saturo Gojo activates infinity (whatever that means) and battles Goku answering with ultra instinct (also no idea what this is), and Nightmare faces Death. Meanwhile, the remaining Valar are trying to stabilize the destruction being laid down. I fear these fights might take a while, let’s come back to this later.

The streets are filled with so many bad guys that Batman has teamed up with once villains, Bane and Deadshot. A coordinated attack takes down the Ronald McDonald crew. The TMNT fight back and are able to land a Glock shot to Deadshot’s head, but not long after Bane handles the meer turtles. Hawkman, Hawkwoman, and Huntress aid Batman as an approaching group of Straw Hats grow nearer. They battle, anime stuff happens, the Pillar men come to support, more anime stuff happens, Guts and Vash the Stampede appear, anime stuff again happens, Griffith joins in battle against Guts, anime yet again is occurring… only Batman remains.

To the vast desert, many Dune characters alongside Smaug and the Witch King on his fell beast are in chaotic battle against the Power Rangers as Megazord, numerous transformers, and the great beast Fenrir. The Sigmas characters put up a good fight as Duncan makes use of his last life to take down many transformers and even toss a dagger at Megazord to take out the green power ranger. Although, Megazord is the only one to be standing at the end of this sand fight. Not long after, Anakin Skywalker in his TIE Dagger makes a bombing run and takes down the rainbow group. Kratos and Atreus are enraged by the cute puppy’s death and takedown Anakin.

Back to the cityscape, the Black Order simply watches as the Sigmaz reign down their own destruction. Unabomber is braindead and kills himself in the Ironman suit and manages to only kill off teammates Malcolm X and Barack Obama. Hitler also decides to take his own life, the shot of his bullet not only pierces his head, but also somehow oneshots Radahn (a lot of people probably wish they could’ve had a Glock to fight Radahn). Moving on, Black Order and Mr. Sinister duel Lobo and the Avatar peeps. Lobo is a sicko and is tearing up the Sigmas crew, but the Black Order shifts focus to takedown the Avatar and his mates. Not long after Lobo is the only one standing.

Shifting to Second street, Solomon Grundy and Spawn are making quite the dead duo. Enough to takedown Mon-Starr, Percival de Rolo, and Grog Stronjaw. Brightburn and Doomguy aid their teammates by shooting their respective blasts, heat vision and BFG, their marks heading for Aatrox and Batman, but Dio Brando is able to stop the time. The Sigmas are able to make their move on frozen enemies, Aatrox ends Grundy permanently and Batman uses the metal of Brightburn’s ship to impale the kid through his chest. Time can no longer be held still by Dio Brando, and Doomguy takes another shot with his BFG that is able to end Brando.

Each team retreats to gather their troops.

Let’s look back at this reality warping fight we started with… oh they all canceled each other out and brought death upon all of them. Okay cool, I guess.

Remaining Huzz are Batman, Darkhawk, Aatrox, and Su-Yin. Remaining Chuzz are Eren Yaeger, Gurren Lagann, Lobo, Kratos, Atreus, Rowena Ravenclaw, Doomguy, and Spawn. A bit lopsided coming down the stretch, but never count Batman out. Which in this case means he does some anti-anime stuff and kills both Eren Yaeger and Gurren Lagann. Doomguy shoots his BFG towards Darkhawk, but he evades and uses his own energy blasts to end Doomguy and blast through Spawn standing behind him. Lobo and Kratos have seen enough of this and each punch Darkhawk in the head from either side simultaneously. Aatrox tries to battle the two, but is only able to take Lobo down with him.

Batman, alongside the youngest daughter of the legendary Toph Beifong, faces Kratos and Atreus with an out of place Rowena Ravenclaw. The legend is with her mother, not Su-Yin, and Atreus shoots an arrow through her head. Rowena Ravenclaw panics, “Avada Kedavra”, towards a battered Batman, but not before he lets a final batarang loose towards the chuzz…