HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS PRESS CONFERENCE

At a recent press conference, Supergirl had this to say in response to a reporter's question, asking about the Horsemen's plans against Unicron...

"Unicron? Didn't we already kill one so-called "Devourer of Worlds"? Why should this one be any different? Sure TEAM is a formidable opponent. You don't beat Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches by mistake, especially in the playoffs. But don't confuse respect for fear. The Horsemen didn't get to the American League Finals by being afraid. Let me just say this; Watchers, I hope you bring extra towels out to the battlefield this week, because it's going to get bloody.

LEAGUE DIVISION FINALS

Setting: Mixed (Grassland, Water, Desert, Artic, City and Space)

Points: 900

Prize: Tie Interceptor

Epic BBQ

The BBQ to end all BBQ's will be on June 14th.

To be held at the resting place of the all-powerful Bryan Beckerman. Once you arrive you will discover a new definition of pain and suffering as you will be forced to listen to Bryan complain about his loss to TEAM in the play-offs (just kidding). No but seriousely, it will be awesome, so be there or B-squared (get it? (I am going to keep saying that until somebody laughs so you all better start humoring me)). This celebration will also double as an awards ceremony. Once it is completed this ultimate BBQ will spell certain doom for the small band of dorks struggling to restore freedom to the FFL.

Peace out! Late & Rack Em!

Consolation Bracket Round 2

Setting: The back of a 1968 Volkswagon Mini-bus
Points: 12
Prize: Ducatti Motorcycle
Guest Watcher: Nick Houslander

The Syracuse Valley Vs. Team Fred
The Legion of Doom Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches
The Outsiders Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds"Touring Battalion of Commandos
Reign Supremacy Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Built Ford Tough Vs. The Right Wing
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. Better Than All of You
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Untouchables

Consolation Match-Round 1: Built Ford Tough Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

The following match is the first exhibition match between two of the new teams coming in next year. Built Ford Tough is Jared Pilkinton and The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Josh Houslander. I just wanted to clarify just in case you were confused.

Built Ford Tough is Indiana Jones.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Papa Smurf (Designated Leader), Lo-Lo, Wicket Captain N’s Dog Duke, Dozer #8 and Smurf #2.

Years before Comerica Park was built, stories were told of the mysterious power that emanated from the grounds below. To most these stories were just ancient folklore but to a select few, these were more than just tall tales. One of those people that believed in these tales was Mike Illitch, the owner of Little Caesars pizza and the Detroit Red Wings. He believed, as many have, that a magical staff was buried deep below the ground near 2100 Woodward Avenue. He believed so deeply in this mythology that in 1992 he purchased the Detroit Tigers for the sole purpose of building a stadium over top of it. It is reported to this day that he still believes that the staff is the key to the Tigers success. Though the existence of this staff has never been proven, it is still one of the most sought after treasures in the world.
This staff had been brought to the attention of both teams early this week and though victory was still the main goal, gaining the staff had all of a sudden peaked the interest of both teams. Since they were both fresh and small, they figured that having a powerful staff going into next season wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world.
The stadium was unusually quiet today. It was one o’clock and yet still nobody had showed. Minutes passed by but still, nobody. Then all of a sudden out of the visiting teams dugout an older looking gentleman in a leather jacket and a fedora appeared. He looks at the empty stadium and lifts his hat up; “Am I late for the party or is it waiting for me?” He walks out to the Pitcher’s mound and just stands there waiting for something. Nothing ever comes. He waits for about five minutes before he decides to walk off the field and into the stands. Still seeing nothing, he decides to take a stroll around the ballpark. He looks in the back of the concession stands to see if there is anything to drink, but does not see anything. Then all of a sudden he sees something moving in the distance and decides to follow it.
When he gets to the door from which he saw the movement come from, he opens it and sees a Dozer. It does not seem to be causing any harm to anyone; in fact, it doesn’t seem to be doing anything at all. Just then, the door behind him slams shut and he is locked in. He tries to open the door back up but he can tell that there is something blocking it. He keeps looking at the Dozer, as if it could be useful to him, though nothing comes to mind. Instead he continues to try to open the door, naturally to no avail. All of a sudden the dozer begins to make a strange noise and gas begins to leak out of it. Indiana goes over to the Dozer and crushes it with his foot but it is too late. The Dozer has let out enough gas that it begins to make it so Indiana can’t see straight. He knows he is quickly running out of time so he tries to find an alternate route. He sees an air vent in the ceiling above, but it is too small.
With very little time to waste Indiana decides to do the most barbaric thing that comes to mind. He grabs the metal chair in the corner of the room and starts hitting the wall with it. It is drywall so it is coming apart quickly. After about thirty seconds he gets through to the other side of the wall and finally breaks it down. Once out of the room he takes a deep breath and looks around. He sees several objects in front of the door, which are blocking its entrance. Indiana walks around a bit more and says to himself, “I signed up for a fight today, not a hide and go seek”.
He then sees a light turn on in the stair well in front of him. Being the curious person that he is, he decides to walk towards it. When he gets to the stairwell he does not see anything but as soon as he begins to walk down it, he sees two Smurfs look up at him and quickly runs away. “Smurfs, why’d it have to be Smurfs?” He then continued to walk down the stairs and turned the corner of what seems to be a massive storage room. He then takes his gun out of its holster and makes sure it is loaded. Right as he puts it back in his holster he gets hit in the head by a rock. “Well, whatever’s down here, it sure ain’t friendly” Jones says as he moves through the boxes in the room. Then right in front of him he sees a furry little creature run right passed him. He takes a shot at it but he misses. Then out of no-where a dog comes rushing at him from the side and knocks him over. He gets a quick grasp of the animal and snaps his neck. He feels mildly guilty about this but is quickly over it as he is hit in the head with another rock.
With a throbbing headache now, Indiana decides to stop being surprised and go in for the kill. He makes a run for the creature in front of him but as soon as he gains any speed he is tripped up and falls flat on his face. He looks behind him and sees that the two Smurfs had placed a piece of fishing line out in front of him. Though instead of attacking him while he is down, they all decide to flee again, listening to what sounds like the leadership of the bigger of the two Smurfs. Indiana now realizes that they are not trying to kill him at all, but that they are trying to keep him away from something else. He now realizes that The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets entire game plan was too keep him occupied while they searched the Ballpark for the hidden staff.
Indiana naturally laughs at this revelation, as he does not believe in the staff’s existence to begin with. Once he knows this though, he figures that as long as he keeps following the Smurfs lead, he should be able to defeat them. They are Smurfs after all, he defeated the Nazi’s twice, how hard can a Smurf be? Indiana walks through this seemingly never-ending storage room until he sees a strange hole in the ground. Instead of his usual shoot first strategy, he decides to watch and see what his opponent is going to do. He sees both Smurfs jump into the hole, followed by a furry creature, which as he now realizes is an Ewok. Then to his disgust, he sees a blue ball with legs move towards the hole.
In an act of panic and disgust he fires his gun at him several times, knocking the now dead Lo-Lo into the hole. Indiana walks over to the hole and sees nothing but black. Soon enough though, he sees someone light a match down there; which to Indy, is his cue to jump on in. As soon as he does though he hears the sounds of gunfire and the screams of the two Smurfs. Indy quickly lands on the ground, rolls around and starts to discharge his own weapon. As soon as he does this, the shadowy figure runs away and takes the light with him. Indy, being the very prepared man that he is, takes out his Zippo lighter and lights it. What he sees is a child’s nightmare. Lying on the floor in front of him are the two dead Smurfs and the Ewok, who for some reason he knows as Wicket, but can’t quite place why.
Indy now realizes that the battle is over with, but decides to keep on going. He can hear somebody in the distance, who is truly not trying to hide himself because he is making a hell of a lot of noise. When he finally gets the man in his sights Indy yells at him, “Hey, I suppose I should be thanking you but what the hell are you doing down here. I thought this was only a two team battle?”
The man turns around and suddenly Indy recognizes him, it is none other than the Tigers owner himself, Mike Illitch. Indy gives him a look of amazement as he turns back around and continues to dig. “What are you doing down here Mike? You can’t possibly be looking for that staff?”
“I come down here every single night looking for that staff. I’ve been coming down here ever since we broke ground over ten years ago. As soon as I found out your league had chosen us for a battle sight, I’ve been hiding out just to make sure nobody else would find out about. It’s been over ten years that I have been looking for it and I still have not found it. I was not going to let one of you Fantasy leaguers take it.”
“Look man, I don’t care about your staff but if you really want to do some good, find the thing and give it to a museum.”
“A Museum, put this staff in a museum. That’s a great idea, hey while were at it we should also put a loaded gun in the hand of every preschooler.” Illitch says with disgust.
“What, what are you talking about.” Indy says with total confusion.
“Do you know what would happen if one of you Fantasy leagues got a hold of this staff? I am not looking for this staff because I want to keep it for myself; I want this staff because it needs to be destroyed. It needs to be destroyed once and for all.” With this statement, Indy has officially lost sight of what Mr. Illitch is saying.
“I’m sorry Mr. Illitch, but I don’t follow you.”
“Do you really think you guys are the only Fantasy Fantasy league out there? There are hundreds if not thousands of you out there. If this staff or any staff like it ever got out, all of those worlds would bleed into each other. It would destroy everything. So when you go back to your team tonight, tell them you won your match out on the field and mention nothing of these events to them. Trust me when I say that all of this is best left unsaid.” Unlike what Indy normally does, he actually listens to Mr. Illitch and walks out of the cave and back onto the field. He wonders if what he has been told his the truth, either way, he realizes that everybody is better off not knowing what took place today. He takes one more look at the empty ballpark, straightens his hat one more time and walks back down to the dugout.

Built Ford Tough is victorious!

Match of The Week: Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. TEAM

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Darth Vader (designated leader), Boba Fett, Wolverine, Carnage, Doomsday, Black Dragon #4, Green Dragon #26, White Dragon #12, Trident, Sasquatch, Krypto, Capt. Britain, Sharkticon #10, & Nazgul #6 w/ horse.

TEAM is Superman (designated leader), Unicron, God Emperor Leto II, Godzilla, Fortress Maximus & his head, Neo, Seraph, The Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Luke Skywalker, Jengo Fett, Griffin Poteracki, & Jet Li.

Both of the teams start off in the city and the 2 Fetts instantly both use their jet packs to take to the air. Jengo Fett lands on top of one of the smaller buildings but Boba lands a drop kick right into him which knocks him off of the ledge. Before Jengo can reactivate his jet pack Boba riddles him with bolts from his blaster rifle and he plummets to his doom (yes it happened that quick. What! do you want me to have a fan boy revolt on my hands; I'm trying to run a Fantasy Fantasy League here, give me a break). TEAM falls back towards the far end of the city while The Backyardigans also put room between themselves and their opponents by falling back into the desert. Trident and The Sharkticon fall back even farther and jump into the water where they will be much harder to destroy. TEAM regroups just outside Fortress Maximus while Godzilla starts rampaging through the city streets towards the desert where The Backyardigans have established their stronghold. Vader releases the dragons to begin their attack on Godzilla. TEAM disscusses their battle plan, Superman as their designated leader gives a pep talk about who is going to take who to Neo, Paul, Miles Teg, Spike (Fortress Maximus' head), Griffin, & Jet Li, while Seraph reminds them that the oracle knows what she is doing, and that they are not alone and that back-up is on its way. The back-up that Seraph speaks of, is of course the huge Transformer planet known as Unicron that is slowly approaching the planet's atmosphere to help them out. The 3 dragons swarm the air around Godzilla but Fortress Maximus transforms into his huge robot form and rushes over to Godzilla to lend him a hand. Godzilla bats the green dragon out of the air and then blasts it with his concentrated fire-like breath but the smaller white dragon flies right in front of Godzilla and sprays a huge amount of frost right into the mouth of Godzilla temporarily keeping him from using that form of attack. While Godzilla's fire breath is disabled the largest of the 3 dragons, Black Dragon #4 attacks Godzilla by biting down on his neck and then spraying his concentrated acid breath into the wound. Both the Black Dragon and White Dragon attack Godzilla wildly and amazingly bring down the huge monster but in the process leave themselves open to attack which is when Fortress Maximus grabs the 2 dragons by their necks, pulling them off of the dead Godzilla and smashed them togeather. The Huge and amazingly strong Autobot has to do this action several times but it does eventually kill the 2 dragons. Krypto, Superman's dog; who ended up being a critical part of the Backyardigans victory over TEAM just 2 weeks ago swoops in over Jet Li and delivers a kick with his hind legs that knocks Jet into a nearby building and kills him. The evil Paul Atreides, who was sickened and actually felt physically ill after he witnessed the game film of Superman retreating instead of letting his stupid dog get killed jumps on top of Krypto and despite his hardened skin sticks his ancient Harkonen blade into the dog's gut to cut out its heart. He then thinks to himself that maybe he will save the heart and give it to Superman as a reminder of why winning is all that is important. Superman takes flight and is met by Capt. Britain above the desert sands. Capt. Britain, who despite being powerful flies at Superman at about one one-hundredth of Superman's speed and attacks with about one one-hundredth of Superman's strength. If I were a grade school teacher instead of a Fantasy Fantasy Watcher I would give Capt. Britain an A for effort, but the truth is, in this match he is simply out-classed which is why Superman easily gets a hold of Capt. Britain and snaps his neck. From the corner of his eye Superman sees that Vader has released Doomsday out into the battle. Doomsday moves quickly into the city destroying everything in his path and then jumps into the chest of Fortress Maximus, knocking the metal giant on his back. Doomsday uses his incredibly hard skin and amazing strength to punch right into the chest of Fortress Maximus, where once inside he destroys the powerful Autobot's spark with a flurry of punches. Superman knows that only he is powerful enough to put a stop to Doomsday and that he cannot waste any time or Doomsday will continue his rampage right through the entire team of TEAM. Superman in the blink of an eye flies back to the city and flies right into the chest of Doomsday. He pushes him with so much force that the 2 of them do not stop moving until they are all the way to the arctic area on the other side of the battlefield, which is exactly what Superman wanted. Superman figured that even though he has a much better chance of beating Doomsday with some help that the Backyardigans have a lot more weapons than just Doomsday and that every member of TEAM was going to be needed in this battle. When Sasquatch sees the 2 of them fiercely battling with each other and ripping apart the Arctic environment he takes that as his cue to leave and starts runnning to join the rest of the battle. Nazgul #6 on top of his horse is followed closely by Wolverine as they creep through the desert sands. All of the sudden Wolverine stops as he picks up a strange scent. The Nazgul's horse rears up and then God Emperor Leto II pops out of the sandy ground. The great omnipotent Sandworm knocks the Nazgul from his horse and quickly kills the animal. Leto then dives onto the body of the Ringwratih and with a horrible combined shriek from the 2 of them kills Nazgul #6. The God Emperor than turns his attack toward Wolverine but Wolverine amazingly dodges the attacks from the much larger human brained Sandworm. Leto gains some respect for his much smaller opponent as he thinks to himself that Wolverine would have made a great Fremen with the way he effortlessely moves through the sandy dunes. The God Emperor then grows bored of his own daydreaming and goes in for a viscous attack but the X-Man uses his claws to stick into the side of the worm and swing himself on top. Leto tries to shake him off but Wolverine then sticks his arm into the mouth of Leto and finds the perfect spot to stick his 12" long claws into. Leto bites down with his mouth full of crysknives and in his own death badly severs the arm of Wolverine. As Leto dies and his large body slams to the ground Wolverine is thrown from on top of the Sandworm and lands badly injured as his healing factor starts to work over time and he thinks to himself about how he really is the best at what he does. Many people were wondering what the first match between Vader and Superman would be like but I guess they will just have to wait until next year. It is obvious that it is not going to happen this year as Superman is extremely tied up with Doomsday, which is why it will be up to Neo to stop the Dark Lord of the Sith. Neo was originally going to attack the Backyardigans leader alone but Luke was told by the oracle that it was important for him to go along as well, so Luke and his B.F. Griffin went along as back-up for the chosen one vs. chosen one battle. Superman and Doomsday continue to fight so fiercely that they are the only 2 people on either team who do not notice the sky getting darker and darker with the looming threat of Unicron approaching. Superman is battered and bleeding lying on the ground when he notices that Doomsday is now more interested in returning to the fight to cause more carnage because he must think that Superman is defeated. It is this thought that Doomsday could end up tipping the scales in a battle that Superman truly believes that his team can win without him that energizes the last son of Krypton. Superman pops back up off the icey ground and delivers a punch to Doomsday that would level the Empire State building but unluckily for Superman he isn't fighting the Empire State building, he is fighting Doomsday, who retaliates with a punch that is just as powerful. Both of these ridiculousely powerful fighters hold there ground with each other, one fighter being empowered by the pain he is expierenceing and the other fighting to keep others from having to go through such pain. With both of their bodies fueled by inhuman forms of adrenaline they both rear back and deliver their hardest blow. Unlike the first time these 2 opponents met they are not surrounded by damaged buildings or by cameras and on-lookers anxious to see the outcome but just like the first time, they both die. Sasquatch gets to the edge of the grassland by the water and is wondering if he should try to swim across to help out his team or not when all of the sudden the sky turns black. Everyone on the entire battlefield looks up to see a metal being so large that it dwarfs not only the now dead characters of Godzilla and Fortress Maximus but the entire landscape itself. Even characters who have seen Unicron before are in disbelief at seeing him again. Trident who had believed himself to be safe under the water looks up at the huge planet size Transformer and thinks for a second that maybe he is not the perfect speciman after all. Unicron comes down onto the center of the landscape right over the small sea which now looks more like a swimming pool and pounds his huge fist through it. He displaces about 80% of the water and easily destroys not only Trident and Sharkticon #10 but also the close by Sasquatch. The massive Unicron then rests while he slowly thinks about his next move. Darth Vader who knows in his heart that the ability to destroy a planet, or even be a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force is to tied up at the moment to think about how he is going to defeat Unicron because he has Neo jumping at him at extreme speeds. Fortress Maximus' head which was not destroyed by Doomsday tries to hold his ground against Carnage but is not doing a very good job. Although Carnage is lacking in size he has a definite speed advantage and when it comes down to it he is actually stronger than Spike as well. Carnage covers Spike in black symbiote sticking him to the wall of the building they were fighting next to and then jumps onto the shoulders of the human turned Transformer and makes him the first headless head master by ripping it right off spine, circuitry, and all. Carnage then squares off against The Oracle's personal bodyguard Seraph. The 2 of them jump around each other wildly with Seraph moving as fast as he has ever had to move in order to evade the sticky black alien symiote that Carnage is attempting to cover him with. Seraph pulls out his twin pistols and unloads them into Carnage but the alien suit just absorbs them. Seraph then thinks that although this creature seems unbeatable, he has beat near unbeatable people before. he continues to dodge Carnage's attacks and to shoot him with bullets in an attempt to over work the symbiote. Seraph waits for the split second that would not even be noticeable to a human eye when Carnage's symbiote suit is working so hard that the human underneath it is exposed. Seraph sees this moment, much like he could see the movement of the Agents to deliver a perfectly aimed karate chop to the exposed neck of Cletus Kasady, the human serial killer underneath the alien suit. Lord Vader finally resigns himself to the fact that Neo is faster than him but it does not hurt his confidence that badly, even when his own lightsaber wielding son joins the battle along with Griffin Poteracki, who always has Luke's back. When Darth Vader's right hand man the Bounty Hunter Boba Fett sees Lord Vader in trouble, he blasts in towards him to lend a hand (Is it still O.K. to call Fett Vader's right hand man or is that disavowed along with the Holiday Special that they say that in)? Wolverine is about to go lend a hand as well to even the odds but he sees the 2 gholas heading his way and decides that his homeboys can handle it anyway. Boba Fett begins unloading his blaster rifle at the trio. Luke gets in front of Griffin and begins to block the blaster bolts with his lightsaber but then Neo jumps in front of them and puts his hand up. He stops the blaster bolts in there place and then kicks the shocked Boba Fett down toward Luke and Griffin who finish him while he restarts his fight with Vader. "Impressive, most impressive" says Darth Vader to his opponent. Vader decides that he needs to finish off these kids if he and his only living teammate Wolverine are going to devise a plan to stop the giant metal planet that just joined fight on the side of TEAM. So in an attempt to destroy the will of Neo and Luke he begins to force choke Griffin without even missing a beat in the fast moving battle with Neo. Neo looks over at Griffin who is experiencing his last breath when Vader pulls Neo down to the ground by his left leg and removes his head with his crimson lightsaber. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screams Luke as he watches his teammates and more importantly firends die before his eyes. He attacks his father with his rage helping to make him powerful, pushing the limit of what a Jedi is permitted to do with the force. Luke then barely dodges a lightsaber swipe from Vader by ducking and then while he is down low cuts off Vader's bionic right leg at the knee. Seraph and Miles Teg look over at him with a look of astonishment that he defeated the mighty Darth Vader, his own father. Luke seems like he wants to be ashamed of how he let himself be controlled by his emotions but when he hears the evil Paul Ghola scream "Finish Him" he listens and then rams his green lightsaber into the chest of his own father. Wolverine refuses to give up as he sneaks up behind the delighted evil version of Paul Atreides and stabs him through the heart with his claws. The ghola of the great Bene Gesserit Bashar Miles Teg uses his super-human speed to try and out do Wolverine but Logan manages to get every part of his body except for his adamantium claws out of the way as Miles Teg runs into him. Wolverine is in full beserker mode as he thinks to himself that he only has 2 more people to gut but that is when Unicron shakes all of the ground for miles when he lands in front of Wolverine. Wolverine is defiant until the end as he does not hesitate for a second to rush the mighty Unicron despite being about 500 times smaller than he is. Unicron crushes the X-Man/Backyardigan with his collossal hands.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCES!

Consolation Match-Round 1: The Syracuse Valley Vs. The Untouchables

The Syracuse Valley is Rumble and Hammer Brother #1.

The Untouchables are Horatio Caine, Big Bird (aka, The Notorious B.I.R.D) and Aloysius Snuffleupagus.

Both teams enter the field at the same time but not in the same fashion. Horatio Caine and his Untouchable teammates enter in calm and cool manner; while the Syracuse Valley's gruesome twosome come charging in as fast as possible. The rush however stops around second base when all of a sudden Rumble begins pounding his fists on the ground in a ferocious manner. Hammer Brother #1 also begins throwing his hammer’s in the upper deck, which is causing mass destruction everywhere. Big Bird and Snuffle begin to worry as Caine just stands there. “Horatio, what are we going to do, this house is a rockin?”
“Well Big Bird, (He then puts his sunglasses on due to the hot Detroit sun) Then I guess we’re going to have to come a-knockin!” (All of a sudden through the loud speakers you can hear Roger Daltrey scream “Yeahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” and the song “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by the Who begins to play.)
“No but really, what are we going to do.” Horatio looks at him and now takes off his sunglasses and says, “You two take the hammer brother, (Now puts his sunglasses back on), Leave the Transformer to me”. (Once again the scream comes from the loud speaker and the song starts over.) Big Bird then looks over at his former imaginary friend and says, “Do not ask him anything for the rest of the match.” Then Snuffleupagus looks right at Big Bird and says, “That’s fine Bird (Puts on a pair of his own sunglasses), but next time, say please.” Once again the song starts playing and Big Bird waddles off screaming towards the Hammer Brother.
Once he starts heading for the Hammer Brother the brother turns his attention to the gigantic bird running towards him. He throws hammer after hammer at him but it does not seem to be working. The psychotic rage that Horatio and Snuffle have put him into has seemed to give him a pain threshold that would make Wolverine proud. The hammer brother gets one more throw in before the bird closes in on him but unfortunately for him, he catches the hammer and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the poor hammer brother.
This seems to shock Rumble a bit but it does not even faze the ever-confident Horatio Caine, who looks over at Snuffle and says, “It looks like this time, the hammer got nailed.” At this point, the small Decepticon decides his earthquake method is no longer working so he stops and moves towards the bird. This instantly puts Horatio into action as he starts running towards the robot and unloading clip after un-ending clip into his metal body. The gunshots do not appear to be doing any damage but they are annoying the hell out of the often-Napoleonic robot. That is of course the reason the super cop is doing it, as he is always just a little bit smarter than all of his opponents.
Rumble is beginning to get very irritated by the gun shots and picks up a piece of debris that fell during his earthquakes and throws it at Horatio. The piece of metal hits Caine in the stomach knocking him to the ground. This gives the robot the chance to make his move on Big Bird who is now holding the body of the fallen hammer brother as if it is a bat. The bird then throws the dead body at the on-coming robot along with numerous hammers. This barely slows Rumble down and when he finally gets to Big Bird he punches him in the stomach so hard that all you can see is a cloud of feathers and several quarts of blood. The blood travels quite far, in fact, it goes so far that some it lands on the sunglasses of Horatio Caine. Horatio then gets up, wipes the blood off of his glasses and says, “The bird was one thing, but the glasses are going to cost you”. Caine picks up the piece of metal that the robot had thrown at him and rushes towards him. Rumble is now in control and begins to pound the ground again, making the entire stadium shake. This knocks Horatio down to the ground, losing any momentum he had in the process. It is at this point that Rumble decides to make a move and finally put an end to Caine’s life. Just then, the smaller than average size transformer gets hit in the side of the head with a chair from the ballpark. Then he receives a blow to the side with a chunk of metal from the stadium roof. “What the hell is that?” a confused Rumble says.
“It’s me metal head, your imaginary worst enemy. And if you thought that was rough, you’re really not going to like this”. Snuffle then pulls out a large gun that fires a huge composite laced net at the robot. “You can thank Mr. Fantastic for that one. This next part on the other hand, was all me”. The net all of sudden starts to light up and send an incredibly large amount of electricity through the entire body of the transformer.
Horatio finally gets up, shakes himself off and walks over to the dying Transformer. He looks into the eyes of Rumble, who is near death and says, “I hoped you liked the gifts my friends brought you. Don’t worry though, I’ve saved the best gift for last.” Right then Horatio pulls out a grenade, pulls the pin and throws it right on top of the transformer. As the robot explodes into a ball of fire Horatio and Snuffleupagus walk towards the camera, err, I mean the dug out and head out of the stadium to celebrate their victory.

The Untouchable are victorious!

Geroge Washington's Slaves Vs. Better Than All of You

Geroge Washington's Slaves are Yoda w/ Kybuck, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Cosmos, Wild Man #1, Sandworm #15 & 16, Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #17-19, Thor, Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Al Dizzle, Jimmy Nuetron, & Cthulu.



Better Than All of You is Aquaman & Aqualad, Thanos, Green Lantern, Mephisto, Agent Smith, The Terminator (from T-1), The Terminator (from T-2), Doc Holliday, Ghost Rider, Lex Luthor, Cobra Commander, Skeletor, Predator #1, Army Soldier #1, & Rob Van Damm & Sabu.

The Slaves are gathered near the outskirts of the desert near the city before the battle when Ki Adi Mundi says "I am not sure our best course of action is not to stand backand simply let our 3 huge creatures fight against this team". Referring of course to their 2 sandworms and Cthulu. "We were sent here for a reason Master Jedi" says Martian Manhunter with Arisia nodding behind him in agreeance. The always wise and humble Optimus Prime then chimes in with "there is more to being powerful than sheer size, you know. It was your teacher Yoda who showed me that". Which causes Thor to say "aye" and Yoda to "Hmmm" and then Wild Man #1 says "arrgh" (but not really in response to the others, he was going to say that anyway). At that exact moment as if the creatures had ears that could understand basic the 2 sandworms come crashing out of the sand with the tops of their heads going hundreds of meters into the air and come crashing down onto George Washington's favorite slave making Al Dogg "the man so nice they buried him thrice". Cobra Commander has once agian decided that he leads his team best from the field which is why he is there in person for their first ever play-off match. Cobra Commander's team is set up on the grassland so they are seperated from the majority of their enemies by the water, which Aquaman & Aqualad have already jumped into to set up camp in what is by far their best environment. Cobra Commander and the boys (I say boys because as you may or may not have noticed throughout the course of the season Better Than All of You has a total of zero women on its roster) believe that they are still very far away from the entire George Washington squad when the undescribably huge, ancient Cthulu suddenely appears out of nowhere. The huge monster dwarfs the small sea as he walks displacing water onto the surrounding areas. He then grabs Rob Van Damm and crushes him in his mighty claw. Cthulu is about to go onto the land when he is all of the sudden distracted by Aquaman who is swimming around in the water below him at unbelievable speeds. Cthulu tries to attack Aquaman but the great monster cannot keep up with Aquaman. Aqualad, despite the fact that Aquaman ordered him to hang back while he distracts Cthult races in, in typical sidekick fashion to try and help his boss. Cthulu raises his mighty foot into the air and brings it down through the water on top of Aqualad, bringing him straight down to the water's floor and kills him. The furious Aquaman then tries to do what even he in his eternal arrogance was not sure he could do. He concentrates all of his mental power and takes control of the mighty sea-dwelling Cthulu. He then, once in the ancient one's brain causes him to leap out of the sea and go crashing into the deep desert sand about 3000 yards away. The 2 sandworms become extremelyalarmed by this sudden invasion as they, in an act of pure instinct come crashing down on top of the mighty Cthulu to kill him. As they do this the soaking wet, water-based, much larger creature is full of so much moisture that the 2 sandworms are consumed with the water which to them is pure poison and fatal. After witnessing this amazing display of death and largeness the 2 teams both decide that they should both rush in & let this battle officially begin. Most of the Slaves climb into Cosmos and he flies over the water into the grassy area where Better Than All of You are residing. The 3 anicent Ginaz Swordsmen cannot wait to get out of the evil machine that is Cosmos and instantly go running toward the 2 terminators. They have an immediate hatred for these 2 thinking machines as they are much like the machines of the Evermind Omnius that they have trained there entire lives to fight against and would gladly give their lives to destroy. T-2 grabs Swordsmen #18 by the throat and crushes his larnyx but Swordsmen #17 & 19 use their vibroblades to cut the terminator apart. They then move to attack T-1, but only Swordsmen #17 survives the attack. He jumps off of the ruined thinking machine ready for battle but does not see Predator #1 (because he is invisible) bludgeon him to death with the blunt instrument he has carried into the battle with him. Army Soldier #1 busts a cap into the dome of Wild Man #1 as he is of course "wildly" running out of Cosmos. Thor comes flying out of Cosmos and instantly goes after his old enemy Mephisto. Mephisto showers Thor with a barrage of Hellish fire but the son of Odin fights through the onslaught. Thor throws the mystical hammer mjonir through the firestorm and hits Mephisto in the chest. It goes right through the chest of Mephisto and kills him but but Thor's powers do not work quick enough because before his best source of both attack and defense Mjonir can come back to the Norse god, Thanos levels him with an amazing display of cosmic power that not even the son of Odin can withstand. Cosmos returns to the air but Green Lantern catches up to the Autobot flying saucer easily. Hal Jordan is about to entertain a thought about how easy it is going to be for him to destroy the evading ship when Cosmos' hatch opens up and out fly Arisia, Martian Manhunter, and Jimmy Nuetron in a tiny version of Cosmos piloted by the boy genius himself. Lex Luthor takes to the air to help out Green Lantern once he sees him outnumbered 4 to 1. Jimmy Nuetron helps prove Al Dawg's point that smart kids die young as Lex Luthor targets and destroys Nuetron with a powerful lazer blast. Despite being outnumbered Green Lantern still goes on the offensive against his airborn attackers. Martian Manhunter knows much about the powers of green lanterns after his years of working with the Justice League which is why he uses his shape-shifting abilities to make himself yellow. Arisia, in a moment of youthfull inexpierence flies up next to her old boyfriend Green Lantern and says "Hal, can't we work this out for old times sake"? but Hal Jordan, the champion of the Green Lantern Corps in true badass form says "sorry, but no" as he blasts her apart with his ring. But even the Cobra Commanded Hal Jordan takes a second to ponder the evil that he has been forced to commit do to this damned Fantasy Fantasy League that he has been cursed with which is when the now yellow Martian Manhunter flies up behind Green Lantern and rips off his green energy protected head. Yoda from on top of Kybuck leads the 2 other Jedi Masters on a lightsaber charge but they are stopped in their tracks when Agent Smith jumps in front of their path. Smith begins a rant about how he hates The Fantasy Fantasy League even more than he hated the Matrix and that he will stop at nothing to destroy do-gooders like the Jedi. He says that "Jedi encompass everything there is to hate about humanity" and that he can't wait until they are extinct. Yoda looks backat his former padawan Ki Adi Mundi and says "continue the charge you must, handle him alone I will". Yoda then gets off of Kybuck and directs the 2 legged beast of burden to follow Masters Mundi and Ti on their attack. Agent Smith jumps into the air and flips but Yoda force pushes him back to where he started and then pulls out his lightsaber. The 2 of them flip around each other repeatedely at amazing speeds. Agent Smith lands a kick to the stomach of Yoda which not only knocks Yoda into a rock but also knocks his lightsaber from his hand. Yoda rolls onto the ground and is obviousely in pain as Agent Smith begins slowly walking towards him laughing. "Is there anything more powerful than me" says Smith as he strolls toward the battered Jedi Master, he then pulls out his desert eagle and takes aim at Yoda saying "do you still think a lazer sword is better than a gun"? Yoda replies with "say that I do not, but the force is", as he uses the force to simultaneousely turn on and levitate his lightsaber, and then send it flying into the back of Agent Smith's head, killing him. Ghost Rider drives his firey motorcycle right across the water and through the desert to get to the city where Cosmos left behind Optimus Prime who, under orders from Coach Washington himself was instructed to stay in the city where he is most useful. Optimus transforms and rolls out into the city but Ghost Rider follows behind him on his bike. Optimus releases Roller and the tough little Autobot gets right in front of Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider drives right over him but in the process of destroying the non-transforming little Transformer he is thrown from his motorcycle. While Ghost Rider is in mid-air Optimus Prime jumps out of truck form and does a flip and while upside down blasts the Spirit of Vengeance right out of Ghost Rider. Ki Adi Mundi, Shaak Ti, and the riderless Kybuck goracing into the fray with Kybuck drawing first blood by trampling over Army Soldier #1. The Jedi break ranks and don't try but succeed in taking out the Better Than All of You leader Cobra Commander. Shaak Ti then puts her lightsaber into the gut of Sabu but she then sees Ki Adi Mundi get knocked to the side by an invisible attacker abd Kybuck gets its neck broken in the same manner. Shaak Ti then remembers to not trust her eyes because they can deceive her. She looks inward with her feelings and allows her focus to be her reality and although the attacking Predator never does make himself visible, it is as if she can see him as she uses her lightsaber to cut off his head. Shaak Ti runs over to Ki Adi Mundi to help him up but as she is tunning over to her friend he yells "Shaak Ti, look out"! It is then that Doc Hollidaywith hands even quicker than a Jedi's reflexes puts 2 .45 Long Colts into the back of Shaak Ti. Ki Adi pops open his lightsaber and is ready for his attack as he blocks the next 10 shots that Doc Holliday sends his way and then finishes him off with a quick stab to the heart. Skeletor was watching this chain of events take place and is very happy to see that he will not have to square off against both of the Jedi. He jumps infront of the tired Ki Adi Mundi with both his staff and sword drawn. Master Mundi moves at Skeletor thinking that his attacks will only be in the form of melee but before he gets close to Skeletor, the ruler of Snake Mountain blast Ki Adi's lightsaber out of his hand with his magical staff. Skeletor than pushes Ki Adi up against a close by rock wall by his neck with his staff and then uses his sword to run the Jedi through. With the death of Head Coach Cobra Commander Aquaman gets sick of both not being in the battle and of having a reputation of not being able to fight out of the water. So when the Atlantean sees Optimus Prime move into the desert area toward the rest of the fight Aquaman jumps out of the water to attack him. Prime is taken completely off guard as Aquaman uses his super-human strength to punch right into the steel body of Optimus. He knocks the mammoth Autobot onto the ground and begins pounding on him. The heavily damaged Optimus Prime's legs are completely disable but before Aquaman can destroy his spark Optimus enables his energon axe from his hand and uses it to cut Aquaman in half. Thanos decides that he needs to end this match once and for all and he believes that he has just found the way to do it. On the ground about 100 yards from where the fight originally began Thanos sees Mjonir, the hammer of Thor laying on the ground. In his hands, this ultra powerful weapon will spell certain doom for George Washington's Slaves. Thanos, who has the ability to lift over 100 tons goes to grab the weapon that Thor carries around so easily, but he is amazed to find that he cannot even budge the hammer, because he does not understand that Mjonir can of course onlyu be weilded by a being who is noble enough and worthy of its power. Thanos gives up after a couple of seconds knowing that if he cannot lift it than no one else on the battlefield can either. Thanos is not discouraged for long as he decides that he will just end this battle with his own amazing skills. Thanos flies up behind Cosmos ans easily blasts the Autobot into oblivion, which quickly cheers him up and restores his confidence in victory. Martian Manhunter flies toward Lex Luthor, dodging his attacks with ease. Martian Manhunter then flies directly at him at a tremendous speed and plows right through him and his suit destroying it on impact. The Manhunter turns to make sure Luthor is destroyed but he gets hit by a burst of magic from the ground. The blast from skeletor's staff knocks M.M. to the ground where both Skeletor and Thanos combine their powers toward M.M. and destroy him. Skeletor turns to his only other living teammate and says "is the battle over, is that everybody"? Thanos says "Optimus Prime is severely injured on the other side of the lake, we just have to finish him off". "Not done are team is" says a small voice from behind them. Skeletor turns to Thanos and says "that little guy is still alive as well". Thanos would normally be correct in the statement he makes next as he is turning around saying to Skeletor "we can take him togeather" but Thanos had not yet noticed that Yoda was holding his green lightsaber in his left hand and Mjonir, the Hammer of Thor (which is about the same size as him) in his right hand. As was said earlier, size and strength have nothing to do with Mjonir finding a person who is worthy enough to weild its power, and it is that power that Master Yoda combines withhis own as he jumps in to attack his 2 opponents. He flips inbetween the 2 of them, dodging their ranged attacks and uses his lightsaber to cut off Skeletor's head. He then blocks Thanos' cosmic blast and uses the force to direct that power as well as Mjonir back at Thanos, sending the hammer right into Thanos' skull.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE!

Consolation Match-Round 1: Alice's Wonder Team Vs. The Right Wing

Alice’s Wonder Team is Tyler Derdon, Goblin #1, Ewok #47 and Treasure Troll #3.

The Right Wing is Jedi Padawan #1.

Kit Fisto has decided to take on a Padawan. It took him a while to decide on one. For sometime now, Kit has had his eye on a certain Padawan and about a month ago he made his decision. The fact that he chose who he did, surprised more than a few people on the Right Wing. Gary is a 14-year old teenager who drinks 2-liters of diet 7-up everyday and has been smoking cancer sticks since he was eleven years old. He is not a fan of exercising and getting up at noon is early to him. Gary was also a very gifted youngling, who has more promise than most Padawan’s his age. This is why Kit Fisto has decided to take him on. Gary is his full name as well. The Jedi Counsil insists there is more to it but trying to get any information out of Gary is basically useless. Oh, and one more thing; Gary is also an asshole. This is the main reason why everybody was so shocked by the choice. Regardless of everything though, Gary has been chosen to represent his team in their consolation match today.
It is quarter after one o’clock in the afternoon at Comerica Park, which is where Tyler Derdon and his gang have now been waiting for at least fifteen minutes. Derdon keeps looking up at the scoreboard and is wondering if his opponent is even going to show. In the meantime, Ewok #47 has fashioned a giant sling shot out of hundreds of jock straps that he found in the locker room. Goblin #1 on the other hand has taken dozens of baseball bats out of the dug out and has created an arsenal of wooden spears. Treasure Troll #5 is as usual just sitting there with his bright green hair, doing pretty much nothing. Tyler is now beginning to become impatient and starts screaming for The Right Wing to send someone his way. “Come on Huckabee, are you showing up today or are you dropping out of this race too?” All of a sudden there is a sound from one of the concession stands and the voice of an unknown person saying, “About damn time”.
Tyler now interested in finding out who this mystery person is screams towards the concession stand. “Who the hell is up there? Mike is that you? What the hell are you doing up there?” Gary does not answer Tyler’s question, but a short time later the lazy Padawan walks out into the stands of the third baseline carrying a large glass of something in one hand and a lit cancer stick in the other. “Hold on, I’ll be down in a minute. They got no-one working here today.” Tyler is surprised to see this young kid and is instantly confused on why he is there.
“Who the hell are you kid and how did you get in here?”
“Oh that, yeah, I’m Gary. I’m representing the Right Wing today in battle. If you could wait just a couple of minutes I’m almost done with this”, pointing to his cancer stick.
Tyler is still confused by this choice by his opponent, but is also extremely happy to see that he will get to go home early today. “Oh sure kid, take your time”. As Tyler is saying this, he signals Ewok # 47 to throw everything he can at him with his giant slingshot. The Ewok, with the help of Tyler had been taking seats out of the stands in anticipation of throwing them at people. Ewok #47 places the first seat in his slingshot and fires it at the now sitting Padawan. The Padawan senses that something is coming right for him. By senses, I mean that he sees it out of the corner of his eye as it comes crashing down ten feet in front of him. “Oh, you’re going to be a prick about this. Fine, I guess it’s going to be one of those kind of days.”
Gary throws his cancer stick down to the ground and stomps it out. He then gets out of his seat to meet his opponents on the field, but not before he is hit square in the face with what seems to be a rosin bag. He spits the chalk out of his mouth and says, “Rosin, are you f%#ing kidding me. A chair is one thing, but a rosin bag just pisses me off.” The young Padawan now jumps onto the field and takes his light saber from the back of his belt. “Oh shit”, Derdon says, “I didn’t know this kid was a Jedi”. He now takes off and heads for the fountain in center field. “Goblin, go rush his ass and Ewok, just shoot everything you’ve got at him. I’m heading for the water, I’ve got an idea”. Derdon takes off for the fountain, leaving his team to fend for themselves.
As Gary gets closer to the Ewok and the Goblin, stuff starts flying his way. A catcher’s mask, numerous baseballs and even a sharpened baseball bat are thrown his way. These items are not difficult to dodge, as the Padawan still does have Jedi like reflexes. As soon as he approaches Goblin #1 he quickly cuts the wooden spear and force pushes him away. He knows that the Goblin will be easy to kill and the most important thing to do right now is to disable this giant jockstrap. He runs over to the slingshot and cuts into pieces. The Ewok then takes a smaller slingshot and starts shooting more baseballs at him. The Padawan laughs, knocks the slingshot out of the Ewok’s hand and stick’s his light saber into the gut of the furry little creature. The Ewok falls to the ground and after a couple of moments becomes the first causality of this battle. He is not alone in death long though as Gary instantly races over to the Goblin and cuts his head off. Goblin #1 is actually not the second death in this battle though, that honor belongs to the Treasure Troll. He was in the unfortunate position of being underneath Gary’s foot on his way over to the Goblin.
Gary actually feels bad for this death, as he has fond memories of his Treasure Troll from when he was a young boy. He quickly gets over this trip down memory lane and jumps right into the fountain that Tyler has been patiently waiting in.
“Nice moves kid, lets see how good your sword works in the water”. Just as Tyler has said this, the light saber, which had been left on, is knocked out of Gary’s hand and lands in the water. Tyler had taken one of the jockstrap slingshots from his Ewok friend and had finally gotten Alice’s Wonder Team’s first shot through to the Padawan. “Now what are you going to do kid. I heard those things don’t work to well underwater?”
“Well, normally you’re right but before I left, my master let me borrow his for the battle. I don’t know if you know him, but his name is Kit Fisto”. Just then, Gary uses the force to pick up his light saber from the bottom of the pond, jumps over to Tyler and stabs him in the chest. Gary then smiles at Tyler and says, “Just in case you didn’t notice, this one works just fine in the water.” Tyler then falls to his knees and looks at Gary with amazement.
“Yeah, I know, it’s sucks to be you”. Tyler falls to his death and Gary jumps out of the pond. He takes a pack of cancer sticks out of his pocket, but they are soaking wet. “Son of a bitch. Well, it was a good day.” Gary walks out of the battle unscathed and heads for the dugout where he is hoping that Jim Leyland has left a pack of smokes.

The Right Wing is Victorious!

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Team Fred

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid (designated leader), Supergirl, Achilles, Sabertooth, Sinestro, Havok, Polaris, Scarlet Witch, Cable, The Balrog of Moria, The Witch King of Angmar, Shazam, & Plo Koon.

Team Fred is Brainiac (designated leader), Namor & his Griffin, Aspen, Black Manta, Vampirella, Travis Bickle, Rorschach, Mimic, Kilowag, Phoenix, & Navy Sailor #1-23.

Team Fred, in hopes to once again defeat the Horsemen have concentrated their entire force around the water. Black Manta, Namor, Aspen, and Mimic, who has taken on the powers of Namor and Aspen all dive deep into the water where they feel that they have a huge advantage over the Horsemen. Much like last time designated leader Brainiac is atop Namor's Griffin where he is has taken to the air along with last week's dynamic duo (or at least the killer's of the dynamic duo) Kilowag and Phoenix. The Navy Sailors have somehow managed to bring along some sort of roughly built wooden water craft which they are sailing on in the middle of the water, ready to defend it with their M-16's locked and loaded. Darkseid keeps his revenge laden team in close with each other as they move from the arctic, to the grassland area on the way to the heavily defended water where this battle is obviousely going to take place. Achilles, who is as usual pissed at head coach Vandal Savage for not starting his whole Myrmidon squad whom he has been training with heavily wastes no time as he, along with the only starting Myrmidon Sabertooth as well as Jedi Master Plo Koon rush in to battle. They quickly and easily dispatch Vampirella who gets her head removed by Plo Koon's lightsaber, and then gut Travis Bickle and Rorschach with more of a finess style then grotesque finish (which proves how much Sabertooth is emulating his group sub-leader Achilles). Polaris who is very dissapointed that Ultron and Master Mold didn't get the start this week attempts to use her mutant ability of magnetism on the metal suit of Brainiac, but before she can pull him off of Namor's Griffin Brainiac fights back by attacking her mind with his own to disrupt her attack. Polaris starts to scream in pain which is when Havok, who has seen his wife die way to many times this season already says in a rage filled tone "I guess we'll do this the hard way" as he targets Brainiac from the ground and knocks him off of the flying animal with a blast of solar energy from his hands. Polaris snaps out of her mental break down and rips the metal plate off of the back of Brainiac's head from dozens of yards away before he falls into the water to insure that none of Team Fred's water dwellers could do anything to save him. Namor's Griffin comes flying down toward them to attack from behind but before it can The Witch pulls out his sword and sticks it up into the underbelly of the beast causing him to leave a trail of entrails behind him. Havok and Polaris turn around just in time to see the King of the Ringwratihs bring his huge gauntlet covered hand down onto the neck of the Griffin to finish it off. Havok and Polaris then do something unprecedented as they look over to the Witch King who is, as always brimming with evil and say "Hey; thanks buddy". Supergirl and Sinestro both take flight and begin heading toward Kilowag and Phoenix. These 2 members of the Horsemen have been driven crazy over the last week by the press that the green lantern/X-man team-up has gotten and Vandal Savage and Darkseid wished to take full advantage of this rage by sending them after the two players of the week. Down below Achilles runs over to Shazam and yells "Capt. Marvel, make yourself useful and fly me over to that ship" (pointing to the large raft that the Navy Sailors are floating on). So Achilles, Sabertooth, Plo Koon, and Cable who got their just in time all grab on to one of Shazam's appendages as he flies over to the raft and drops off the 4 fighters. On his way back Namor the Sub-Mariner pops out of the water and then grabs Shazam. Shazam is caught off guard as he is pulled into the water. Once underneath the surface Aspen, Namor, Mimic, and Black Manta quickly attack Capt. Marvel using all of their powers in unison. Aspen creates such a powerful undertoe that even Shazam cannot escape from it, then Between the blasts from Black Manta's powerful lazers, which are well-timed inbetween Mimic & Namor's powerful water fueled punches are enough to kill even a character as powerful as Shazam. Achilles leads the attack against the Navy Sailors. Cable opts to go old school and rely more on his lazer rifle than his mutant powers as he kills Sailor #1, 12, 17, & 22. Plo Koon uses his lightsaber to wipe out Navy Sailor #6, 9, 14, & 20, but when he sees that Cable is about to be attacked from behind by Sailor #19 he quickly puts away his lightsaber and unleashes a burst of force lightning into the body of the Sailor and kills him. Plo Koon, who is one of the few Jedi who learned to use force lightning due to the fact that most Jedi frown upon such a use of the force has found that his fellow members of the Horsemen of Apokolips do not have such an aversion to it. Achilles gets shot twice in the left arm and once right above his right knee which is probably why he only takes out 8 sailors (2, 3, 10, 11, 13, 15, 21, & 23). Sabertooth easily rips apart Sailors #4, 5, 7, 8, & 18, but Sailor #16 does manage to shoot him with 6 rounds of .223 caliber bullets before Sabertooth snaps his neck. Sabertooth takes a second to recover from the wounds but notices that Achilles is giving him a dirty look. Sabertooth looks back at the leader of the Myrmidons and says "I am ready Captain, it is nothing my healing factor can't fix". Achilles replies with "Why would one need a factor for healing, it appears to be merely a scratch" which he makes sure to say loud enough to embarress the Myrmidon in front of the 2 other fighters. Back to the air where Supergirl and Sinestro are engaged in an amazing battle with Kilowag and Phoenix. Kilowag tries to use his green energy to defeat the 2 of them but Sinestro easily blocks it and causes it to dissipate with the yellow energy of his ring. Phoenix attempts to unleash the power of the phoenix but she is amazed to find out that out of the 4 characters in the sky, she is actually the slowest. This is not a problem that Rachel Summers, a mutant who is fast enough to travel in space is used to, but regardless of what she is used to it proves to be true as Supergirl flies up underneath her before she is able to unleash her powers to their full potential (which could be disastrous for the whole Horsemen squad) and uppercuts her in the chin causing severe head trauma and killing the mutant. Kilowag sees that he is now outnumbered and desperately tries to throw all of his power at Sinestro. But Sinestro proves that much like the last time these 2 teams faced each other, that Kilowag with his ring's weakness to the color yellow is simply no match for Sinestro. Sinestro puts up a thin yellow wall which blocks Kilowag's attack and then creates a huge yellow hand which crushes the weakened Kilowag in its grip. The Balrog of Moria slowly moves in toward the battle which gives his teammates cause to clear a large path for the powerful combatant but as he approaches the battle Aspen creates an undescribably large tidal wave which covers the mighty Balrog destroying his evil flame and leaving the ancient creature lifeless on the schorched grass below him. Scarlet Witch walks up to the water's edge and uses her powers to try to turn the water into acid in an attempt to either kill their enemies below the surface or to draw them out into the open air for battle. Aspen is able to quell her powers from below the surface by simply causing such an influx of watery activity that the magic cannot take but Namor sees that this will not last forever which is why he, along with Mimic pop out of the water prepared for an all out attack. Before Namor even lands he brings his 2 fists down onto the cranium of Scarlet Witch and breaks her neck as he lands, Aspen from inside the water begins covering Namor with water, just like Coach Luthor told her to to keep him as powerful as possible as he takes on the land dwellers of the Horsemen. Mimic uses a mix of solar power stolen from Havok out of his left hand and force lightining stolen from Plo Koon out of his right but Plo Koon himself manages to block it with his lightsaber. Cable from the middle of the water attacks Mimic with his mind to try to tap into the mutant but he realizes that he cannot stop him do to the blocking of the power by what must be a remnant of an ability that he emulated from his dead teammate Cable's sister (kind of) Rachel Summers. Cable then goes in to a meditative trance about how happy he is that he was not forced to fight his own half-sister from an alternate dimension who is really in genetic terms his full sister even though they just have the same dad (Cyclops) and not the same mom; but Cable's mom (Madeline Prior) is of course a clone of Rachel Summer's mom (Jean Grey) from the future where they had Rachel who raised Cable as a son so he could go back in time to fight along side all of them in order to prevent his time from ever happening (which to me would mean that if it were to work than niether Nathan (that's Cable) or Rachel would ever be born. Anyway, so instead Supergirl blasts Mimic from the sky with enough heat vision to sever his head from his neck while the Witch King who was knocked to the ground by the Sub-Mariner stabs Namor in the chest with his Nazgul cursed blade which consumes his body with a poisonous spell and kills him. Supergirl and Sinestro then grab Achilles, Cable, Plo Koon, and Sabertooth and bring them back to land where The Horsemen of Apokolips fall back despite heavy protesting from Achilles. Darkseid's plan is to make the last to members of Team Fred come out of the water and fight because he knows that their abilities are considerably minimalized once they are out of the water. Aspen conjurs up a plan which is a long shot but she feels that with only her and Black Manta left alive, long shots may be their only option. She is followed by Black Manta as she pops out of the water with a huge tidal wave in hopes that they can get past the grassy area and into the arctic so she can possibly create a new watery base for them and trap the Horsemen underneath, but they are way to heavily outnumbered as Havok, Sinestro, and Supergirl all blast Black Manta to pieces and Sabertooth, Achilles, Plo Koon, and The Witch King slice the brave Aspen to pieces. The mighty Darkseid, designated leader of the Horsemen of Apokolips, does not lift a finger.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE!

Consolation Match-Round 1: Reign Supremacy Vs. Legion of Doom

Reign Supremacy is Robin (Tim Drake).

Legion of Doom is Ninja Gaiden, Rebel Trooper #1 and Treasure Troll #5.


Robin gets off the ground and dusts himself off for the match. Ninja Gaiden is coming right at him and he does not know what to do. He makes a quick move to the right but it seems to be too late. The Ninja then takes his sword and stabs Robin the chest with it. As Robin lies there on the ground of Comerica Park, he can hear the voice of somebody in the distance. He then falls to the ground completely and dies. He then hears the voice much more clearly and springs out of bed. Still in a daze he begins to realize that he had been dreaming and that Bruce Wayne had been the voice in his head.
“You were screaming pretty loud there Tim.” Bruce says to a still confused Tim Drake.
“Wow, that was a dream? I guess this match is on my mind more than I thought it would be.”
“Don’t worry about kid, it’s only a consolation match. Plus, from what I’ve heard, it sounds like this team might be disbanded anyways, so don’t sweat it.” Bruce says in a surprisingly kind matter.
“I’m trying but I just, well, I guess I’m just scared. I don’t fight on my own much, I guess I’ll just have to get used to it”. Tim says with sweat still pouring down his face.
“Well all I can tell you is that you are one hell of a fighter. You’re going to be just fine out there. And for that fighting by yourself thing, trust me, you’ll get used to it. I have a feeling your going to be doing a lot of it one day.” Bruce says this with a smirk on his face. “Come on kid, I’ll load you up. You can never have too many weapons.”
Bruce and Tim walk out of the room and load up on as many weapons as he can possibly carry. The next day Robin actually does walk into Comerica Park, with weapons in hand. He is waiting in the locker room when he realizes that he has nothing to worry about. This is Fantasy Fantasy after all, if he dies today, he’ll be back tomorrow. He then makes a mad dash for the locker room door and makes his way out of the dug out.
When he gets up onto the field, he looks around at the massive ballpark and realizes that he is the only one out there. “Where the hell is everyone. We were told One O’clock sharp”. He looks up at the scoreboard and it reads one after one. Then out of the corner of his eye, he sees something move. It is coming from the upper deck in left field. He looks over to it but he does not see anything. He then sees the movement again from the upper deck and is suddenly knocked to the ground. He has a terrible pain in his chest, just below his heart and realizes that he has just been shot. Rebel Trooper number one had been camping out in the upper deck and had hit Robin square in the chest. Once the Rebel Trooper noticed that his shot had not killed him, he decided to take his camping elsewhere.
Robin, who had been wearing a Kevlar vest, got up and shook the blast off. He then decided to take things into his own hands and chase after the Rebel Trooper. He grabs his belt and shoots his grappling hook out of towards the upper deck. As Robin lifts off the ground the Trooper realizes that he is trouble and begins moving much faster then he had originally been going. Robin who was now a good hundred feet in the air was gaining on the Trooper with every second that passed. He was now starting to feel good about the situation, that was until he all of sudden was tackled from the side by somebody. The collision is violent and brings both people crashing down into the lower level seats in left field.
Robin gets back on his feet but is quickly brought back down again by the mystery attacker. Robin looks at his enemy and cannot believe his eyes. “Could it really be him, I mean, that was just a dream”, Tim quietly says to himself. Robin’s mind is now racing due to the fact that he was never told whom he was to be fighting today. One part of his dream was now coming true and a panic was now starting to take over his entire body. The Ninja Gaiden now comes over to Robin with his sword in hand.
“You look scared Tim, not so tough when you don’t have the big black bat to protect you”. Robin knowing that what the Ninja is saying is actually true, realizes that if he doesn’t get his head back together, this match will be over with almost before it begins.
Robin, in an act of desperation takes his grappling hook out again and shoots it towards the center fountain. When it attaches itself to the pillar at the top, it brings him away from the Ninja and back into safe territory for the time being. “Think Tim, don’t just react.” is what Robin screams to himself once he is at the top of the fountain pillar. “Your smarter than this”. Robin knows that the only real threat to him is the Ninja, which he knows can be beat. (I mean anyone who has ever played any of his games can attest to the fact that the Ninja constantly dies. What can I say, they are not easy games.) Anyways, the Ninja at this time has decided to stand his ground and wait for Robin to come to him. This allows Robin the time he needs to devise a plan that can help him defeat his powerful opponent.
Robin who had moved to the backside of the pillar has now been out of sight for a good five minutes. The Rebel Trooper, who has been hanging back this entire time is starting to get a little sick of waiting and decides that he can make the shot from where he is located. He can still see a bit of Robin’s cape and decides to take the shot through the pillar in the hopes of getting him in the back. He takes the shot and it pierces the pillar. The Trooper who is thrilled with this outcome can still see the cape blowing in the wind. So the trooper takes another shot and this time knocks the cape off of the pillar, but instead of seeing Robin’s body fall to the ground, he sees the cape blow away in the wind. He looks at the cape blowing away in the wind and is confused for a moment, that is until he turns around and receives a blow to the head from Robin.
This blow to the head forces the trooper to drop his gun and fall to the ground. They are now located in the upper deck above home plate, which is where Robin picks up the trooper and throws him to his death. The Ninja, who had been pacing back and forth, sees this chain of events and decides to go on the offensive once more. He begins running towards the fallen trooper, which gives Robin the time to move to the lower level of the ballpark. The Ninja goes over to the trooper to see if he is still breathing, he is not. Now the Ninja knows it is only a one on one battle, which after all, is just fine with him.
Robin who has now made it down to the lower level, knows that the more he can get the Ninja to move, the better chance he has to win this battle. Also, Robin who had taken the Rebel Troopers weapon has the advantage of being able to kill him from a distance. Which is what he begins to do, as he starts shooting the gun at the Ninja. The Ninja easily dodges the weapon with his quick speed and agility. Robin figured this wouldn’t work but it is giving him the chance to move much closer to him then he had previously hoped for. They are now only 20 feet away from each other, which is when the Ninja who had been surprisingly lame so far starts throwing stars at Robin. Many of them are easily avoided, but one strikes the gun and makes it unusable. Robin quickly throws the weapon down and makes a mad dash for the Ninja. When they meet, the Ninja quickly strikes Robin in the face and takes his feet out from underneath them.
Robin gets up but not before the Ninja is able to take his sword out and take a swipe at him. The Sword cuts his vest, exposing Robin’s bare chest to the hot Detroit sun. Robin now realizing a close battle is a sure way to death takes out his grappling hook again and points it towards the upper deck above first base. The Ninja sees this happening and almost instantly knocks the hook out of Robin’s hand. “Without the bat, you’re a one trick pony. I expected more from you, but then again, you are just a side kick”, the Ninja says with more than just a hint of arrogance in his voice. “What can I say, we didn’t have any Ninja repellant back at the cave”, Robin’s quick quip gives him just the time he needs to kick the Ninja in the knee, which doesn’t knock him down but it does disable him for a long enough time for Robin to run back over to the grappling hook.
Robin picks up the hook, but instead of pointing it at the upper deck he points it at the Ninja. “Hey Gaiden, you know what they say about one trick ponies don’t you?”
“No, what?” the Ninja replies in a confused manner.
“You either live or die by it, and for some reason I don’t feel like dying today.”
Just as Robin says this he shoots the hook into the gut of the Ninja, pulling the Ninja towards the masked avenger. Robin then takes the sword out of the defeated Ninja’s hand and holds it into the air. “And for that whole side kick thing, don’t worry about it, I won’t be there forever.” Robin then swings the sword with enough velocity to take the Ninja’s head clean off. Robin relieved by this, throws the sword down and walks back over to the dug out. He contemplates sitting down for a second, but knows this battle is not yet over. He goes over to the wall and grabs a baseball bat from it. He then walks over to the other teams dug out and sees a small Treasure Troll with bright purple hair and picks it up. He takes him over to home plate and takes a batters stance. In one quick motion he throws the troll up in the air and hits him out of the park. The fountains in center field light up and at this moment Robin finally feels the excitement that only comes with victory. He holds onto the bat and walks back to the dug out victoriously.

Reign Supremacy is Victorious!