Week 5 Democracy Playoff Planet Match : The Striders of Rohan vs George Washingtons House Elves

House Elves : Superman (Final Life), BlackBolt, Gandalf the Grey (w/Elven ring), Thor, Set (Final Life), Colosus (Final Life), Sandworm #1-5, Black Lantern Sandworm (Final Life), Seaworm #1A (Final Life), Black Lantern Seaworm (Final Life), Vampire Seaworm (Final Life), Mar-Vel, Archangel, T-1000, Orion, Dumbledore, Corbin Dallas, Santa (with Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen), Ron Weasely, Ginny Weasely, Haggred, Arsenal, Liono, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), White Walker #1-5, Dothraki #2-6 Riding on Dothraki Horses #2-6, Mako, Waterbender #1-3, Airbender #4 .

Striders : Odin, The Injustice League: Ultraman, Superwoman, Johnny Quick, Power Ring, Owlman, and Talon, Abeloth, Ragnarock, Treebeard, Zombie Treebeard, King Kong, Zombie King Kong, Zombie Balrog of Moria, Zombie Wolverine, Zombie X-23, Gandalf The White w/ a White Lantern Ring (final death), Gothmog the Balrog, Ancalgon the Black, Earth 2 Catwoman, Batwing w/ Power Ring, Rage w/ Red Lantern Ring, Azula w/ Red Lantern Ring, Morg w/ Red Lantern Ring, Brother Blood, Mandolorain #1-5, and Dark Trooper #1-4. 

TEAM Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids

 TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Thanos (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, Power Stone, Soul Stone, Space Stone, and Reality Stone), Daksol, The Constructicons:  Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quick Mix, & Scavenger, Astro-Train, Blitz-Wing, Leader-One, Blaster w/ Eject, Rewind, Grandslam, Raindance, Nightstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Black Lantern Polaris, Six Shot, & Cybertronian Guardian #3.

Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader in his TIE Advanced X 1, Darth Revan in John's TIE Interceptor, Darth Bane in a TIE Bomber, Red Son Superman, White Suit Anakin Skywalker in Spence's TIE Interceptor, Vampire Neo, 4-Lom & Zuckuss piloting the CEC YT 2400 Freighter w/ Savage Oppress, Feral, Suki, & Jedi Youngling #6-12 aboard, Anakin Skywalker in a TIE Interceptor, Ahsoka Tano in a TIE Interceptor, Hancock, Weapon H, The Rancor, & The Darth Vader Transformer.  

For some time now the small band of Sith Aids members have hold up on their small asteroid space station as two massive, larger than planets, world destroying robots and their brutal companions approach.  Many ideas have been kicked around, many names have been assigned to the phenomenon; but the one that seems to be most common is one of the most simple.  Impending doom.  Rather than wait for the worst to fall upon them, Lord Vader decides that the only hope of the Sith Aids is to mount a counter offensive.  The attack, to be led by Vader himself, along with several other versions of him and other heavy hitters will be a longshot; but Vader speaks to his troops instilling in them all that "the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force".

Lord Vader feels the Force flow through him as he chooses his words wisely, knowing exactly what to say to invoke the emotion of all the different versions of himself as well as his fellow Sith Lords, and other teammates that still serve the Light.  Vader may no longer be a good guy, but he has not totally forgotten what it was like to be one.  His speech relays a sense of duty, honor, and above all necessary fear in the hearts and minds of his Sith Aids Cohorts before they board their ships and take flight towards the incoming danger.  

TEAM stands at the ready, floating in space and awaiting an attack that they see on the horizon.  Darksol is perched as a lookout, on a small pile of space debris to let his TEAMmates know when the battle shall begin.  He serves his purpose in death as The Sith Aids draw first blood.  Before the ships have even arrived in their flight formation Red Son Superman and Hancock rip through the Shining Force villain, leaving him in pieces.  

Facts about space

 

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins:

Tornedron, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, The Monitor w/ White Lantern Ring, Zombie Dr. Manhattan, 12 Guardian Knights as Dragonstorm, Dormamu, Blue Marvel, Ronan the Accuser, Hyperion, Kyle Houslander Young Jedi Knight in Kyle’s Jedi Starfighter and Zach Houslander Young Jedi Knight in Zach’s Jedi Starfighter, Joe Levine Jedi Master, Kelly Nightsister, and Abby Jedi Youngling in Levine Family YT-2400, Uruk Hai #6-9.

 

George Washington's House Elves:

Set, Sinestro, BlackBolt, Galvatron, Ben Kenobi (In an X-wing), Mar-Vel, Archangel, Agent Smith, Orion, Shao Kahn (In Ben Kenobi’s x-wing), Alpha, Zordon, Goldar, Fenster, Bulk, Skull, Shaak Ti, Liono, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), Sky

 

Space, as everyone knows is mostly empty. Sure, there are plenty of planets and stars but they are surrounded by emptiness. Really, you can go on forever and not hit anything. Another thing that is true about space is that women fly around in it as well as they drive on earth. So it should come as no surprise that Shaak Ti, the Levine Family YT-2400 piloted by Kelly, Batgirl, and Sky all fly straight into a star.

 

Another fact about space is that it is racist (like everyone else at this point). For that reason, Space immediately kills Black Lantern Omega Supreme and BlackBolt purely because it hates their names.

 

The Power Rangers and LOTR were filmed on earth and none of those actors can breathe in space so they meet the same fate as George Floyd (they found out they had to go to space so they overdosed on fentanyl before the match).

 

It’s pronounced Zor-DON. He died too.

 

The 1986 documentary “Transformers: The Movie” taught me that space is ruled by robots, which is why Galvatron was so easily able to kill Blue Marvel, Ronin the Accuser, and Hyperion. It had a sort of sequel in 2017 called “Transformers: The Last Knight” but I haven’t seen it and those robots probably aren’t as cool (and definitely now dead).

 

On earth a zombie doctor would be a contradiction but not so in space. Zombie Dr. Manhattan has a flourishing medical practice.

 

Wonderment in space is possible. When Jedis Kyle and Zack see Liono’s ripped muscles and beautiful mane floating towards them they pause to admire him, until the ginger runs the sword of omens through them.

 

The 2^nd law of thermodynamics applies in space as well. Tornedron sucks all of the energy out of several House Elves. He is finally stopped when Agent Smith drinks him like an energy drink. It moves through him fast though and when Agent Smith voids his bladder he does so on Dormamu extinguishing him.

 

It is possible to get tired in space. Like The Monitor, who already knows these facts and just wants the match to end, so he finishes off the remaining House Elves.

 

It is possible to hide in space. No one knows this better that Ben Kenobi. The guy is really good at it, he has been doing it most of his life.

FFL 2021 Week 4: Fastfood Armageddon

 *-4 denotes 4 deaths* 

Crack Danks: Galactus (-4), Nova (-4), Silver Surfer (-4), Sky Lynx (-4), Lt. Commander Worf in Arc Fighter, Supreme Leader Snoke in Sith Fighter, Voltron, Jason Voorhees w/ Red Lantern Ring, Tommy Oliver w/ Dragonzord Flute/Chest Shield, Korg in an A-Wing, Meek, (Jolee Fishdo, Lord Zedd, Rita Repulsa, Crash Bandicoot, and Vampire Magneto in Quintesson Ship)

Affirmative Action Popeyes: Earth 2 Superman w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Revan Reborn in A-Wing, Bastila Shan in TIE Fighter, Jolee Bindo in TIE Bomber, Post Sarlacc Boba Fett in B-Wing, White Lantern Batman, Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine, Metroplex (-4), Cyclonus & his Armada, Nolan Peterson: Sith Bro in Arwing, Austin Perrison: Sith Bro in Arwing, A-3, Twincast, Fast Forward, Autobot Cassette #1, Autobot Cassette #2, Autobot Cassette #3, Forrest Gump w/ Green Lantern Ring, Mogo, and Destro

This match takes place in deep space.

Both teams spawn in and right off the bat, Galactus notices that Affirmative Action Popeyes has a full planet on their side. So, Galactus calls Nova and Silver Surfer to help attack Planet Mogo while the rest of Crack Danks work on the rest of their Fast Food Counterpart Affirmative Action Popeyes. As these teams are fighting for the bragging rights title of FAST FOOD KING.

The Sith Bros, Twin Cast, Fast Forward, and the three Autobot Cassette’s work on attacking the Quintesson Ship. Magneto uses his mutant powers to crush the Arwing’s that the Sith Bros are flying in and kill them immediately. Fast Forward then retaliates with a Heat Ray Cannon blast to the Warship which causes it to lose some of its mobility. Magneto, angered by this hit to the ship, takes apart the three Autobot Cassettes and throws them at Twin Cast and Fast Forward. Killing Fast Forward but only damaging Twincast. Seeing his team struggle with the Quintesson Warship, Cyclonus and his Armada go to help. Cyclonus hits the ship with his blaster and blows up the ship. This kills Lord Zed, Rita Repulsa and Crash Bandicoot. Magneto saw the blast coming and was able to make a large shield out of metal from the warship but only had enough time to save himself and Jolee Fishdo.

After that Sky Lynx and Voltron team up to face Metroplex and Cyclonus and his Armada. We got a big ole robot fight boys. Voltron uses their giant sword to take a slash at Cyclonus and his Armada. Cyclonus dodged but his Armada were not quick enough as they were cut in half. 

While that is happening Twincast sees a floating Meek in space and hits him with a blaster shot killing him. This angers Korg as he yells “Revolution” and charges at the damaged transformer in his A-Wing and hits him with blasts from his laser cannons.

Earth 2 Superman then goes on a tear and kills Korg, Supreme Leader Snoke, and Lieutenant Commander Worf.

Jason Voorhees sees Forrest Gump and Destro and decides to attack them. Jason Voorhies causes Destro to be frightened but Forrest Gump isn’t scared at all as he doesn’t understand who Jason Voorhees is. Jason has scared Destro so much that he’s frozen in place and Jason kills him easily with his machete. Gump and Jason then have a long and fierce battle as they both just fit the emotion of their lantern rings so well. Jason is just so filled with rage, while Gump has so much will that he’s run across the whole U.S. and has saved the lives of multiple members of the U.S. military. Eventually after a long and fierce battle Jason just barely wins as he was just a more experienced killer. Though he is extremely tired and injured after this exchange with the Alabama Football Player.

Revan, Jolee, Bastila, and Boba Fett fly in their respective ships to attack Tommy Oliver and a weakened Jason Vorhees. Jason puts up a force field with his lantern ring to protect Tommy and himself but isn’t able to hold for very long as the blasters from the Old Republic Force Users and a post sarlacc clone ship were just too strong. Eventually Revan kills Jason with a laser cannon from his A-Wing. Tommy Oliver dodges many blaster shots from the ships but eventually there is only so much he can do and he is killed by a shot from Bastila’s TIE Interceptor.

Galactus sees that his squad is struggling and calls Nova and Silver Surfer to help the rest of their teammates. Silver Surfer and Nova make quick work of some of the members of Affirmative Action Popeyes. They kill Revan, Bastila, Jolee, Boba Fett, and Emperor Palpatine. They are then confronted by A-3 and White Lantern Batman. Batman shoots Silver Surfer with a blast from his White Lantern Ring but SIlver Surfer just absorbs the energy. This confuses Batman as he hasn’t seen anyone absorb energy like that since his encounter with Doomsday. He then uses that absorbed energy and projects it onto A-3, easily killing the Autobot. Nova then uses her extreme agility and reflexes to dodge all of Batman’s lantern blasts and eventually get close enough to the Caped Crusader and rips him in half, as he still is only human.

Now back to the big robot fight. Vampire Magneto then goes to help his team with these giant Transformers. He uses all of his power to slow down Cyclonus just enough so that Voltron can stab him through his chest. This feat of power from the Mutant was so much that it caused Magneto’s brain to have an aneurysm, thus killing him.Metroplex then hits Voltron with a huge blast and kills the Lion powered beast. Sky Lynx then attacks Metroplex, they get into a heated battle. Eventually Metroplex comes out victorious as he rips Sky Lynx’s jaw open (King Kong style). Though Metroplex was not unharmed from this battle as Sky Lynx had greatly damaged one of his legs from a bite from the T-Rex mouthed Transformer. Nova and Silver Surfer see the weakened Metroplex and decide to make easy work of one of the members of Scramble City. Earth 2 Superman then flies in from nowhere and hits Nova with a combo of punches and then uses his ice breath to weaken her cosmic flame. Once that is completed he snaps the neck of Nova.

Now all we have left is Silver Surfer vs. Earth 2 Superman and Galactus vs. Nova. Silver Surfer and Superman go at it but everything that Superman throws at Silver Surfer is either dodged or absorbed by the scientist from Zenn-La. Eventually Superman becomes tired out from his attacks, as the Silver Surfer has drained all of the Yellow Sun Energy from Superman. The Surfer then uses this energy and grabs Superman by the throat and emits it all, causing Superman’s head to explode. 

Silver Surfer then goes to help Galactus absorb Mogo. After a long battle Galactus was victorious and able to consume the planet Mogo. Though he does not feel right after consuming the planet. He then blows up in a giant green explosion killing both him and the Silver Surfer. It turns out the Planet Mogo’s Will was just too strong for Galactus, causing Galactus to blow up with a huge amount of Green Lantern Energy. 

All that’s left in this battle is Jolee Fishdo as he was still behind the shield that Magneto had made for him.

Week 4: Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions vs Dinomites

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Wither, Omniman, Battlebeast, Thragg, Invincible, Allen the Alien, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr, Glenn McClelland, And The Boognish in Spaceball 1, Resplendent Man, Blue Beetle in a TIE Fighter, Jade, Ki Adi Mundi in a TIE Fighter, Batwoman in a TIE Fighter, Dhalsim, Donkey Kong, Blanka, Belle and The Beast, Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Shinobi and his dog, Princess Leia of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, Eevee, and Detective Pikachu, Hotspot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, and First Aid, Space Ghost in The Phantom Cruiser, Jan, Jace, and Blip in their shuttle, The Vampire Lestat

Dinomites: Ranx The Sentient City, The Black Racer, General Zod, Cyborg Superman w/ yellow lantern ring, Captain Marvel, Wedge Antilles in his X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in his X-Wing,  Ice w/ star sapphire ring, Zam Wessel in a X-Wing, Jango Fett in a X-Wing, Cassian and K-2SO in Cassian's U-Wing, Bossk in a X-Wing, Aurra Sing in a Y-Wing, Eeth Koth In a A-Wing, Booster Gold, Rey in a B-Wing, Cal Kestis in a TIE Bomber

The battle opened as the Dinomites fighters launched from Ranx, starting their first run on Spaceball 1, which begins the transition into Mega Maid. Wedge and Biggs lead the charge with Zam, Jango, Bossk, Sing, Cassian, Koth, Rey, and Cal, in formation. Blue Beetle, Ki Adi Mundi, Batwoman, and Space Ghost set out to intercept their attack. In the first run, The Dinomites land several hits on Spaceball 1 but manage little damage overall to the gigantic starship. Turrible Decisions follow up and land hits on Sing, and Kestis, and Rey, who’s slower ships are easy targets. This sends them flying into the three-ring circus and the mall, taking out Donkey Kong, Belle and the Beast, Detective Pikachu, Sonja, and Blanka. Wedge and Biggs respond by taking down Blue Beetle and Batwoman. Zam, Jango, and Bossk make a large enough hole in Spaceball 1 to land. Upon landing they are met by Jade, Dhalsim, Kano, and Jax. Bossk lets out a roar and disintegrates Jade, but Dhalsim follows up by wombo comboing Zam. Jango’s wrist roared with flames as he fried Dhalsim and Kano. Jax begins his beat down of Bossk, but is blown to smithereens by Jango’s wrist rocket. With the landing area secured, Cassian and K-2SO land and the 4 of them venture deeper into Mega Maid who at this point has finished the transition and under the control of Ween, who stops jamming to “Ocean Man” and begins to chant “suck.” 

On the surface of Ranx, the living circuits begin to be pulled from the surface and into the giant vacuum cleaner. The rest of the Dinomites squadron turn their attention to the vacuum cleaner, which is guarded by The Phantom Cruiser and Ki Adi Mundi. Wedge, Biggs, and Koth attack in a tight formation and the TIE Fighter doesn't stand a chance against the more agile and better equipped X-Wings and A-Wing. With Mundi dead, Jan, Jace, and Blip launch their shuttle and Koth breaks off to hunt them down while Wedge and Biggs continue pursuing Space Ghost. Too focused on his target, Koth flies into the suck zone and perishes. In a bit of impeccable flying, Space Ghost manages to maneuver behind Biggs and destroy his X-Wing, but is done in by Wedge avenging his fallen friend. Wedge then finds the lone shuttle and ends its existence.

General Zod, Cyborg Superman, The Black Racer, Captain Marvel, Ice, and Booster Gold move as one towards the head of Mega Maid. They are intercepted by Omniman, Battlebeast, Thragg, Invincible, Allen the Alien, Hotspot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, and First Aid. Chaos ensued and when the dust and blood dissipated the only survivors were a damaged Cyborg Superman and a gassed Booster Gold. Back inside Spaceball 1, Jango and Cassian are the last survivors of the boarding party, having lost Bossk and K-2SO in the battles against Shinobi and his dog, Princess Leia of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, and Eevee. Upon reaching the door to the head of Mega Maid, they believe they will have won this in just a few moments, when the Wither, set loose from the Zoo, begins to rampage towards them. Jango begins to open fire and Cassian is hit by one of the Wither’s explosive skulls and withers away. The Wither goes into melee mode and Jango is no match for his strength. The Wither then continues rampaging through the ship and eventually out into space, where he just keeps on going, becoming lost to the void.

Cyborg Superman goes for the Head of Mega Maid and sends Booster to find the self destruct button. Booster makes his way through the ear canal and enters through the emergency exit, alerting Lestat to his intentions. The Vampire gave his life by stalling Booster Gold, which gave The Boognish time to reach the self-destruct button, but not before Booster could break the glass starting the countdown. The demon then distracted Booster offering him immense wealth and killed him while his guard was down and headed back to the command center, Back in the head Cyborg Superman enters an empty command center with Ocean Man still on repeat. He deactivates the vacuum, but Ranx has already been mostly destroyed. When the doors open behind him the Boognish stands in the doorway. Thinking he can take the damaged cyborg before the ship explodes they begin their battle. With the power of Ween the Boognish puts up an incredible fight and keeps Superman inside, while the members of Ween use the escape pods. Out in space, Wedge is able to take out the escape pods of Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr, and Glenn McClelland, but Mega Maid explodes, forcing him to make the jump away.