Le' Napoleon's Brigade vs Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

Le' Napoleon's Brigade is Jaws, Skyfire, Alan Scott, The Penguin, The Lochness Monster, The Sando Aqua Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9, Emperor Palpatine, Darth Nihilus, Wonder Woman, Atrocikus, Guy Gardner (w/ Yellow Ring), Power Girl, Allia Atreides & Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 (Kwisatz Haderach) in a Swiff Boat, Glinda the Good Witch, & Courtney Cox.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Mighty Mouse, Amantia, Larvox, Toad (Magneto's bitch, not Princess Toadstool's Bitch), Duncan Idaho Ghola #5, Thundercracker, Wheely, Dragon #1-6, Bat-Mite, Megalon, Gamera, N.S.-5 #35 & 36, Kermit the Frog, Vampire #100, Beachcomber, Salacious B. Crumb, Avian #1, Purple Dragon #13 & 14, Simmell, Capt. N & Duke, Squirtle, Smurf #2, Hammer Bros. #11-16, Peppermint Patti, & Marci.

“Does anybody else feel like we are going to get our butts handed to us today?” asks a concerned Captain N. “We fight on until the end, no matter what we have to overcome,” sternly replies Duncan Idaho Ghola #5. Just then, Duke the Dog yelps and is dragged underwater to his death by Jaws. Mere moments after that, there is a massive eruption out of the Atlantic as the Lochness Monster and The Sando Aqua Monster both reveal themselves and swallow all six Hammer Bros, Salacious B. Crumb, Smurf #2, Peppermint Patti and Marci. “Your road to the playoffs ends here Brotherhood!” exclaims Wonder Woman as she flies overhead with Alan Scott and Guy Gardner flanking her. Six Silver Dragons follow them closely behind. There is a sonic boom heard as Thundercracker flies in fast towards the Brigade. “I’ll take care of him,” Skyfire says as he rockets after the Decepticon. They engage in a fierce dogfight, but Thundercracker just cannot match Skyfire’s abilities and eventually is shot out of the sky. “Ok for crying out loud! We are getting killed out here!” yells Captain N. He sends Dragons #1-6 and Purple Dragons #13 and 14 to attack the Brigade’s Silver Dragons. The combined efforts of the Purple Dragons’ psychic attacks and the Dragons’ fire breath overwhelms the Silver Dragons, but they manage to take down Dragon #4 and 5 before they all fall in to the dark waters. Guy Gardner has been order to stay back and use his yellow ring to create a giant yellow platform for the rest of his team to stand on. From there Emperor Palpatine blasts Beachcomber with Sith Lightning and shorts out his circuitry, killing the pacifist Autobot. Mighty Mouse shoots into this battle with great intensity. He first, without hesitation, flies right through The Penguin’s face and then rocks Power Girl right in the jaw. “What the hell just hit me?!” exclaims Power Girl as she is rubbing her jaw. “Here I come to kick you ass!” shouts Might Mouse. Power Girl is having serious trouble catching the small powerhouse, but then Mighty Mouse makes a fatal mistake. He flies in too close and gets sandwiched in between Power Girl’s heaving bosom. She then uses them to literally crush the life out of Might Mouse. “Wow, never thought I’d use these things to actually kill someone,” Power Girl says to herself. “That was disturbing,” Alan Scott says as he flies by. N.S. 5 #35 and 36 leap onto the yellow platform and quickly sneak up and kill Courtney Cox, and try to attack Darth Nihilus, but both receive several lightsaber swipes for their troubles. Glinda the Good With floats over the water in her pink bubble and overwhelms Vampire #100 with good, wholesome magic that it destroys his dark heart. Allia Atreides and Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 ride in on their Swift Boat. Toad, Captain N, and Kermit the Frog all climb out of the water and board the Swift Boat. Toad flings his tongue at Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, but the Kwisatz Haderach is far too skilled for Toad to handle and before he even realizes that his tongue has been cut off in mid-air by a crysknife, he finds that same crysknife deep in his chest. Allia then disposes of Kermit the Frog in what I can only describe as one of the most vicious and stomach turning acts that I will be forever burned into my memory. Captain N tries his best to hit one of them with his blaster, but they are both too much for him to handle and he receives a crysknife to the back of the neck. They then dump the bodies overboard as they continue their assault. Jaws then makes another pass and eats Simmell. Megalon and Gamera then surface from underwater and try to even the odds. Jaws swims through the water at great ease, but Megalon impales the Great White Shark with his drill like appendage. The Sando Aqua Monster then attacks Gamera. The two giant creatures battle in the water, which is causing massive waves. Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 and Allia Atredies are both tossed from their Swift Boat, which drives out of control and crashes into the side of Gamera. This hardly even affects the giant turtle. However the Sith Lightning that Emperor Palpatine shoots at Gamera does affect him. This attack allows the Sando Aqua Monster to bite down and pull Gamera deep down into the depths of the ocean and finishes him off. Atrocitus flies in filled with rage, and blasts Avian #1 out of the sky. He is then double teamed by Amantia and Larvox. Though they are both valiant Green Lanterns, The Red Lantern’s hate filled power is too much for them and they both are ripped to shreds by an energy blast from Atrocitus’s red ring. Glinda is then confronted by the mischievous Bat-Mite. They duel with their magic capabilities, with Bat-Mite gaining the advantage. He finally gets the better of her, when she takes too long to cast her next spell, and he vaporizes her (or at least, that’s what I think happened, since she just vanished). The Purple Dragons fly low to the water, but this ends up being as mistake. The Lochness Monster snatches Purple Dragon #13 out of the air and pulls it into the ocean. Wheelie uses his slingshot and flings an energon pellet at Wonder Woman, which really just pisses her off. She flies fast down towards the water and with one quick motion; she rips the head off of the annoying Transformer. Skyfire soars in and attacks the remaining Dragons. His advanced technology and expert flying abilities are more than enough for him to take care of Dragons #1-3, 6 and Purple Dragon #14. “Alright Power Girl lets end this fight,” Wonder Woman says to her teammate. Guy Gardner flies in, eager to actually start fighting, which causes Emperor Palpatine and Darth Nihilus to drop in the water. The Brotherhood though is not prepared to go down without a fight. Megalon blasts Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 and Allia Atreides away with his red napalm bombs. He is then attacked by Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Atrocitus (what a weird combination!). The three lanterns use their rings in a combined effort and bring down the giant monster. Power Girl swoops in and picks Duncan Idaho Ghola #5 out of the water and launches him into the atmosphere. Bat-Mite then turns Darth Nihilus into a Limited Edition Action Figure (which will be auctioned off for Heroes Without Homes immediately follow this match). Bat-Mite then feels something strange. That something is Emperor Palpatine’s lightsaber sticking through his chest. Squirtle then finds himself alone against Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade. He tries with all his might and lets loose a powerful stream of water towards them. But it is not enough, Wonder Woman flies up behind him and viciously rips his shell right off his back.

LE’ NAPOLEON’S BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!

Bryatu's Disease Infested Body

To the entire league:
Please be advised that I have been struck with the disease which I heard caused the downfall of a martian race which invaded Earth as seen in "War of the Worlds." To add to the insult that such a minor pathogen would infect this body of perfection is the fact that a secondary injury of pulling the entire musculature of my midsection has occurred, leaving me somewhat disabled in the "breathing department." I am led to believe that if I had a "six-pack" instead of my "no-pack" I would not have suffered such a substantial injury. Finally, my spouse has left me with my heirs alone. She is attending a wedding in Cali whose guest list I am heard is made up of those people who do not warrant TMZ following them around. Thus, without her love and the assistance of others, I must focus on my children's growing minds and do not wish to warp them even more by having them gaze at the Wikipedia characters which run across my computer while I write my matches. Based on all of the previously mentioned items, I have requested an additional three day reprieve from Joshatu (and Ryatu) in the posting of my matches. . . I am sorry for the inconvenience - I have failed you all. . .

-Bryatu

Week 8: Death Match

Setting: The Pacific Ocean
Points: 699
Prize: Rebel Alliance Snow Speeder

-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
-Built Ford Tough Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
-Better Than All of You Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
-The Untouchables Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Abomitrons
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy
-TEAM Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-The Right Wing Vs. The Syracuse Valley
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Week Seven Standings

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies vs The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are The Maxx & Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Lorne Michaels, Speedy Gonzalez, Brak, Dobby, (Brain Damaged) Beowulf, Sarah Palin, The Groovy Gang: Ted, Val, Patty, Sonny, & Groovy, Jay & Silent Bob w/ Suzanne, Forge, Bob: Agent of HYDRA, Agent X, Aunt May, Hellboy, Lobo, Dark Claw, The Technibots, Rancor #1, Ewok #4-40, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, The Planeteers, Ted Nugent, Brock Sampson, & Kyle Rayner.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Tom Bombadill, Flint Fireforge, Robert Muldoon, Gwildor, Wicket, & Paploo in a Hummer, Ewok #41-46, Haldir, X-23, Omega Supreme, Superboy, Ch'p & Dr, Ub'x, Salaack, Asajj Ventress, Mangy Mouse, Gold Dragon #3, Wonder Man, Rogue, Nazgul #3 w/ Fell Beast, Aurra Singh, Pythona, Ryachu, Gamera, Mas y Menos.

Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are all very excited for this opportunity to unleash their Ewok battalion in their home turf. And Forge has outfitted all of them with special weaponry. All 37 Ewoks scatter into the trees as they ready for battle. They were however, not prepared for the team that The Brotherhood sent out to meet them in this encounter. Asajj Ventress and X-23 rush in and immediately eviscerate the entire Groovy Gang as well as Aunt May and Lorne Michaels. Superboy and Wonder Man then follow them quickly. The two powerhouses fly in each take on two of the Murderflies’ bigger members, Rancor #1 and Brain Damaged Beowulf. Wonder Man blasts BDB with a massive amount of ionic energy and then makes him just plain “Brain Dead Beowulf.” Rancor #1 then chomps down on Superboy, who puts his arms up to pin the giant beast’s jaws open. He then uses his heat vision to blasts a hole through the back of the Rancor’s skull. The Powerpuff Girls spring into action, tired of this initial stomping their team is receiving. They triple team Aurra Sing and blast her away with their combined powers. Ted Nugent likes the three little girls’ style and follow suit by shooting Dr. Ub’x right between the eyes with a flaming arrow. Rogue flies in and drains the life out of The Maxx and goes slightly crazy for it. She then smashes Julie Winters into mush. Hellboy runs up and punches Rogue with the Right Hand of Doom and sends her crashing into a tree. He then turns around and shoots Mas y Menos with the Good Samaritan. The Technibots for Computron and starts knocking down trees. The Autobot gestalt is then faced with a challenge that they are unable to compute a victorious scenario; Omega Supreme. Computron valiantly attacks Omega, but is simply overpowered and all five Technibots are destroyed. Robert Muldoon then takes aim and shoots Suzanne the Orangutan. Jay and Silent Bob freak out at the loss of “their girl” and brutally beat Muldoon to death with branches. The fighters then hear “By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!” The Planeteers have called upon Captain Planet in hopes to turn the tides in this match. He instantly begins to control the plant life surrounding everyone. Flint Fireforge and Gwildor are strangled to death by some tree roots. X-23 cuts her way out of some roots and slices through all of the Planeteers, even Suchi the monkey. (Especially Suchi the monkey.) She then swipes at Brock Samson’s chest but her razor sharp claws barely cut him. He gets angry at her ruining his favorite black shirt and Brock kicks X-23 in the gut. Brock is about to continue beating on X-23, but his attention is drawn to Pythona who swipes at his back. The team leader then wraps Pythona in a bear hug and squeezes until her spine snaps. Haldir dodges Ted Nugent’s flaming arrows and then puts three arrows right into the Motor City Madman’s chest. Sarah Palin, who avenges her fellow NRA member, then shoots the elf in the throat. Salaak and Ch’p then engage Kyle Rayner. They try to double team him, but he pretty much give all the Kyle Rayner-haters the finger by quickly and almost effortlessly blasting both Green Lanterns away. Lobo then gets his hands on Ryachu, who tries to electrocute Lobo, but all it does is singe him a bit and make him smell even worse. Lobo then crushes the Pokemon with his bare hands. Gamera then stomps his way in and blasts several of his plasma fireballs at the Murderflies’ camp and kills Speedy Gonzalez, Bob: Agent of H.Y.D.R.A., and Doc Brown. Dark Claw pops his claws and slices Mangy Mouse in three small pieces as the Mouse flies by. X-23 then sneaks up behind Dark Claw and tackles him to the ground. Dark Claw kicks her away and leaps back to his feet. The two the tear into each other in a bloody and vicious fight. Before long, X-23 stands victorious, but only for a moment, as she collapses to the ground, exhausted and seriously wounded from the fight. She then crawls her way over to a tree and leans up against it, allowing her healing factor to kick in and get to work. Tom Bombadil blasts Dobby with some powerful magic before the house-elf could teleport. He then finishes him off with some more magic. Nazgul #3 swoops in on his Fell Beast and in one pass the Fell Beast snatches Brak in its mouth and eats him. Agent X targets the Fell Beast and brings it down by unloading two full magazines into its neck. The Fell Beast crashes to the ground and Nazgul #3 is thrown from his mount. The Nazgul then stalks and chops the head off of Agent X. Rogue then flies up and attack Captain Planet and drains all of his powers from him, letting the mullet-wearing tree hugger fall to his doom. A big tree trunk then swings right at Asajj Ventress, but she slices through it with her lightsabers. She then does a back flip and lands on the other one that was thrown at her. The Powerpuff Girls then simultaneously attack her, but in a blur of lightsabers, Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles are all struck down by Ventress. All of a sudden, a Hummer come crashing in, completely out of control and smashes into a tree. Out come Wicket, Paploo and Ewoks #41-46. They instantly all scatter into the trees and attack the Murderflies’ Ewoks. The Brotherhood Ewoks find themselves all ensnared into a net however, since the Murderflies’ Ewoks have been setting up camp this entire battle. All 37 Ewoks come out of the trees and slaughter The Brotherhood’s Ewoks is a completely tasteless fashion. The Forge-enhanced Ewoks all scamper into the battle, but they completely forget about Omega Supreme and Gamera are still in this battle. Omega Supreme squashes Ewoks #4-16 without even noticing it. Gamera blasts his plasma fireballs and kills Ewoks #27-33 as Gold Dragon #3 swoops in and incinerates Ewoks #17-23. The forest now smells like barbequed dog hair. Omega Supreme the uses his sensors to target the tiny furry creatures and blows the rest of them away. “Crap. We really put our whole plan behind those little guys,” says Brock Samson. He then looks at what his badly depleted team is still up against, which is Omega Supreme, Gamera, Tom Bombadil, X-23, Superboy, Wonder Man, Asajj Ventress, Gold Dragon #3, Wonder Man, Rogue, and Nazgul #3. As team captain he feels that it’s best that what’s left of his team retreats and live to fight another day.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!

TEAM vs The Abomitrons

TEAM is Superman, Streaks, Comet, Thor, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok, Treebeard, Galvatron, Depa Billaba w/ Jedi Padawan #16, Yareal Poof, He-Man w/ Battle Cat, Set, Bloodwynd, Nightmare, Baby Wolverine on a 4-Wheeler, Lord Katsumoto, Gannon, Willow, Gen. Thade in a Tank, Jackie Chan.

The Abomitrons are Batman, Robin (Dick Grayson) in The Batmobile (Golden Age), Ace the Bat Hound, Smaug, Iron Man, Capt. America, Bucky, Nomad & Baby Bucky on Speeder Bike, Hancock, Blade, Leviathan, Cerberus, Ben Tennyson, Gwen, Kevin, Mrs. Voorhees, Beast, Kirby, Stryfe, Abin Sur, Commander Cody, Capt. Rex, Elite Clone Trooper #22 & 23 in a Land Speeder, Elite Clone Trooper #24-25, Rotta the Hutt, & Naboo Soldier #1 in a Tank, Fineas & Ferb w/ Perry in an AT-ST, Mara Jade (Jedi), & Death Adder.

The moment The Abomitrons are teleported to the Forest Moon of Endor, they are immediately attacked. Galvatron uses his arm cannon to annihilate the AT-ST that Fineas, Ferb, and Perry were all riding in. Thor then leads Thunderstrike and Ragnarok into battle. Ragnarok, though, has been having serious difficulty working with these two Thors, as he thinks that he is actually the real Thor and not just a cyborg/clone. He flies ahead of Thor and Thunderstrike and immediately goes after Hancock. “Aww Hell no. I dare you to hit me again, Goldilocks!” Hancock says as he wipes some blood from his mouth after being hit in the face with Ragnarok’s hammer. The Thor clone b-line’s it right at Hancock again, but this time he is wrecked with a vicious uppercut by Hancock. Ragnarok is sent sailing backwards. Hancock flies up into the air, hot on the heels of the staggered Ragnarok. He then wrestles the hammer away from the Thor clone and since it’s not actually Mjolnir, he is able to wield it. Hancock then brings the hammer down as hard as he can and obliterates Ragnarok’s synthetic skull. The Thor clone’s limp body the crashed back down to the ground. As Thor and Thunderstrike fly into battle, without warning or provocation, Thunderstrike slams his mace into Thor. “Thou are a TEAMmate, valiant Thunderstrike. Why would thou strike me?” asks a surprised and dazed Thor. “I….don’t….know…” replies Thunderstrike as if he is battling something within himself. Death Adder and Stryfe, who is using his telepathy to control Thunderstrike, attack the two Thors. Death Adder’s massive axe and Thor’s hammer clash, and then Stryfe uses his telekinesis to hit Thunderstrike with a massive boulder. Thor uses Mjolnir to bring down several powerful lightning bolts and sends them coursing through Death Adder, which eventually kills him. Thor then hits Stryfe with his hammer, which releases Stryfe’s mental grip on Thunderstrike. The Thor duo is then able to overwhelm Stryfe and end his life with several well-placed hammer blows. General Thade is currently inside TEAM’s tank, and is not handling the situation very well. He is freaking out and just slamming on the controls with his fists. Naboo Soldier #1, along with the useless Rotta the Hutt, drive up in The Abomitrons’s tank and blow away Thade and his tank, since Naboo Soldier #1 actually knows how to drive the thing. Blade and He-Man are engaged in a well-pitched sword fight. Blade is using his speed and agility to keep He-Man at bay, but in the end the Master of the Universe is simply too strong for the Daywalker to overcome and He-Man buries the Sword of Grayskull deep into Blade’s chest. Battle Cat, Streaks the Super Cat, Comet the Super Horse, Ace the Bat Hound and Cerberus are all fighting each other in a vicious pet fight. Cerberus pounces on to Battle Cat and rips the fearless and powerful tiger apart with his three heads. Ace, though valiant, is really just a German Shepard and has his side kicked in by Comet. Cerberus gets the surprise on Comet and uses his powerful jaws to bite the horse’s head clean off. (If I were The Abomitrons I would then leave said head in TEAM’s locker room as a message, Godfather style. But that’s just me.) Now as it has been through all of time, a cat and a dog face each other for pet supremacy. The saying normally goes “it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog” but in this situation, it would definitely have to be changed to “the size of the fight in the cat.” Streaks zips through the air directly at Cerberus and the three headed dog swallows the cat in on gulp. But Streaks blasts through the dog’s stomach and kills the powerful animal. Nomad and Baby Bucky are weaving though the thick forest upon their Speeder Bike, but Jedi Padawan #16 uses her lightsaber to cut the front of the Speeder Bike off, which sends it careening out of control. Nomad is able to safely leap from the bike with Baby Bucky. Depa Billaba then leaps in and utilizing the lightsaber fighting technique of Form VII Vaapaad, she quickly ends the lives of Nomad and Baby Bucky. Ben Tennyson the turns into Jetray and flies at the speed of sound, firing his neuroshock blasts at Yareal Poof, killing the Jedi Master. Gannon and Willow then double-team Gwen Tennyson and overwhelm her with magic and kill her. Kevin then absorbs the properties of a nearby boulder and knocks Baby Wolverine off of his 4-Wheeler. He starts hitting Baby Wolverine as hard as he can with his rock fists, but Baby Wolverine pops his claws and slices Kevin’s arms off. He then cuts his head off as well. As Jetray flies through the air, he is eaten in a quick snap by one of Set’s massive heads. Pamala Voorhees then attacks Jackie Chan and repeatedly stabs him with a machete. As she continues to brutally stab the action star, Lord Katsumoto comes up behind her and decapitates her with his sword. Iron Man flies in and fires his repulsor ray right at Baby Wolverine, blasting the infant mutant away. Commander Cody and Captain Rex lead Elite Clonetroopers #22-25, with “Double Deuce” and #23 riding in a Land Speeder. Nightmare then attacks the Clonetroopers and immediately takes out Elite Clonetrooper #24 and #25. “Double Deuce” then slams the Land Speeder into Nightmare, which stuns him, allowing Rex and Cody to blast him away. Using all of then energy coming from the deceased combatants from this fight, Bloodwynd blasts a hole right through Abin Sur. Treebeard then slowly stomps his way through the forest and steps on the tank that Rotta the Hutt and Naboo Soldier #1 were riding in, probably not even noticing that he did it. Batman and Robin are both ripping through the trees in the Golden Age Batmobile. They fire a grappling at Treebeard’s leg and start making passes around him (a la Wedge from Empire Strikes Back with the AT-AT). They finally bring the Ent down, which allows Smaug to swoop in and burn him up with his fire breath. Kirby then sneaks up and swallows Streaks the Super Cat. He then burps Streaks out as a bunch of stars, now giving Kirby all of the attributes of the Super Cat. Kirby zaps Willow in the back of the head with his new heat vision, killing the magical dwarf. He tries to do the same to Gannon, but he teleports to safety. Beast leaps onto Lord Katsumoto and starts clawing at his armor. The samurai then drives his sword up underneath Beast’s ribcage and kills the mutant. “It’s a shame. I feel like we would have had good conversations,” laments Lord Katsumoto. He then finds himself face to face with Mara Jade. He defends himself the best he can, but her lightsaber slices through his sword almost as easily as it cuts through Katsumoto. Cody and Rex lead Elite Clonetroopers #22 and 23 against Depa Billaba and Jedi Padawan #16. The Clonetroopers are able to take out Jedi Padawan #16 with ease, but Depa kills Elite Clonetroopers #22 and 23 in retaliation. Then all of the fight is brought to a halt by the arrival of Set. The massive seven-headed serpent quickly and easily blasts Bucky and Mara Jade with his cosmic fire breath. But he is then surprised by finding himself attacked by someone of equal or probably greater size than he; Leviathan. The giant monster immediately bites two of Set’s heads clean off. The other five wail in pain as they attack Leviathan in unison. Smaug flies in and tries to aid Leviathan, but one of the heads sees this coming an blasts him away with his cosmic breath. Kirby uses his new powers to fly up towards Set, but is attacked by the one armed, one-eyed Superman, who has finally entered this battle. Though he is missing body parts, Superman’s sheer strength is too much for Kirby to overcome, and the pink puffball plummets to his doom. Superman flies back to the ground where he is met with a shield right to the face. Captain America then lands a huge uppercut to Superman’s jaw, which lifts him off of his feet. Superman then actually spits a couple teeth out of his mouth. He’s then his with a blast of Iron Man’s repulsor rays. Captain America then leaps on top of Superman and hits him several more times with vicious punches. Superman then sees why he is taking on so much damage; Batman gave his Kryptonite ring to Captain America. This is the last thing he sees before Captain America brings his shield down with all of his might and cracks Superman’s neck. “Nice work, Cap,” Iron Man says on his StarkTech comlink. “There’s no way I would have been able to do that if he was at 100%, we got lucky. Let’s hope Leviathan is having the same luck,” Captain America replies. But unfortunately he’s not. Leviathan is being overwhelmed by Set’s power, but before he finally succumbs, he is able to take out three more of Set’s heads. Hancock this entire time has still been dealing with the problem of Thor and Thunderstrike, and amazingly, he is keeping them at bay. He kicks Thor hard in the gut, to knock him away for a moment. He then flies around and behind Thunderstrike. Hancock wraps him in a headlock and squeezes until he hears a pop. Before Thor can retaliate, Hancock is hit by a plasma blast from the ground by Galvatron. Cody and Rex target Bloodwynd and stun him with their blasters, which allows Iron Man to fly in and deliver the killing blow to him. Batman and Robin then join Captain America, Hancock, Commander Cody, Captain Rex and Iron Man for their final attack. Gannon reappears right behind them and kills Rex and Cody with some magic and then teleports away just as quickly. They find themselves with a terrible decision to make. Do they continue fighting the force of Set (with two heads), Thor, Galvatron, He-Man and Depa Billaba or do they admit defeat and live to fight another day. Hancock is about to make the decision for them as he starts to fly up in the air, but Captain America grabs him by the arm and tells him that this fight is over. “I’m sorry friend, we just can’t risk anymore losses,” Cap says to Hancock.

TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!

Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. The Syracuse Valley

Team Sleeping Pussy is Xenomorph #1-10, Brood Alien #1-5, Brood Queen, Khan Noonian Sighn, Unus the Untouchable, Deathbird, Darryl Revoc, War Skrull #1-5, Super Skrull, Skrull #23-27, & Kilowag.

The Syracuse Valley is (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, Casey Jones, Splinter, Nightcrawler, Baby Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Venom, Sith Lord #4 & Sith Lord #5, The Battletoads: Zit, Rash, & Pimple, Sonic, Knuckles, Bossk, Dash Rendar & Leebo in an AT-ST, (movie) Jazz, Sub-Zero, Raiden w/ Kid Thunder, Rob Bartlett, Mr. Game & Watch, Crasher, Scooter, Wald, Hammer Bros. #2-7, Boomerang Bros. #1-6, Fire Bros. #2-7, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-6, Little Goomba #3-5, & Treasure Troll #4.


The queenless Xenomorphs seem to have taken to the Brood Queen and become completely assimilated with the Brood (I don’t want to get into who copied off of who, I am just saying what all us dorks already know, that they are basically the same thing). Deathbird instantly releases all her aliens as the first wave of offense which is exactly what they act as towards the Syracuse Valley’s front line of Defense. Megatron and Starscream transform and take flight while Super Skrull and Kilowag both take to the air to meet them in battle. Fire Bros. #2 attempts to hold the line by rallying all of his “something or other” Bros. brethren, but their weapons are simply no match for the Brood/Xenomorph combination. The Brood Queen herself takes out Fire Bros. #2 who finds that his fire power is of no use against these particular foes while the Queen’s 15 followers mop the floor with the 6 Hammer Bros., Boomerang Bros., & 5 other Fire Bros. The 6 Giant Hammer Bros. have enough power to take out Xenomorph #3, but once the surge of aliens comes thru the Giant Hammer Bros. toughness is dwarfed by their opponents. The Aliens then continue their rampage by finishing off the 3 goombas, Treasure Troll #4, Wald, & even Scooter. Rob Bartlett delivers a wicked shot to the head of Brood Alien #2 with his hockey stick, but it does little damage as he is finished off as well. Nightcrawler notices the 5 original X-Men on Team Sleeping Pussy and says to Nocturne: “Coach Mcgruff told me that he had perfect Intel, on their starting line-up and that they didn’t play the X-Men, but there they are”. Nocturne replies with “you actually got Mcgruff to say something to you. All he said to me was to “take a bite out of Team Sleeping Pussy””. The 5 members of the original X-Men are of course actually War Skrull #1-5, who have been genetically engineered to employ the powers of their teammates the X-Men. Crasher and Mr. Game & Watch team up to try and put a stop to the alien rampage but they are not very successful either. With a little help from Mr. Game & Watch, running interference; Crasher is able to transform into her robot form and crush in the head of Xenomorph #6 before the rest of the aliens kill both her and Mr. Game & Watch. Kahn leads Unus the Untouchable, and the fake Iceman and Beast against the Ninja Turtles, while Deathbird takes to the air along with the fake Jean Gray & Angel to help out Kilowag and Super Skrull. The fake Cyclops then leads a team of 5 more Cyclopses to do battle with the Battletoads. In the air battle, Super Skrull and Kilowag end up teaming up on Megatron while Deathbird keeps tight with her team against Starscream. Starscream uses his machine guns to target Angel (War Skrull #5) out of the sky, but the dogfight with the other combatants continues to heat up. Darryl Revoc gets into the mind of Sub-Zero, to take him out; but the scanner makes a mistake when he does the same thing to Kid Thunder. The attack works fine on the little friendship token, but it sends Raiden into a frenzy. Raiden focuses his lightning power on Revoc to completely fry him. Jazz leads an offensive against the aliens with Dash Rendar in his AT-ST, Sonic, Knuckles, & Bossk. Jazz takes out Brood Alien #3 but is then over taken by the rest of the aliens. Megatron lands in a large forest clearing but is soon met by the Kilowag/Super Skrull team-up. Megatron attempts to blast the 2 of them with his laser cannon, but the 2 of them evade the attack. Super Skrull flies in with his Human Torch powers and then uses his big orange rock fist to put a decent size hole in the chest of the Decepticon. With just this little bit of damage, Kilowag is able to take full advantage, by pumping the weak spot full of enough green energy to extinguish the spark of the Decepticon leader. Dash Rendar, with the help of his trusty droid Leebo, from inside their AT-ST are doing more damage to the aliens than anyone else on their team has been able to do. With their powerful laser blasts, they have been able to take out Xenomorph #1 & 8, as well as Brood Alien #5. The aliens attack the legs of the AT-ST and are able to bring down the walker. Dash Rendar is able to escape the walker before it blows up, but Leebo is not fast enough. The banged up Rendar, now unprotected by the AT-ST, pulls out his side arm, and is able to take out Xenomorph #10 before the other aliens kill him as well. Bossk, is quite the skilled alien killer, which is why he uses numerous dirty tactics to take out Xenomorph #7, and then perfectly target the Brood Queen, to kill her as well. With the death of their queen the aliens lose what little sense of direction they had, but they lose none of their fierceness. The other aliens rip apart Bossk, before he can do any more damage. It is very hard for the aliens to catch Knuckles, but when they do, there is little that Knuckles can do to defend himself. Brood Alien #2 easily rips Knuckles apart, once he is finally caught. The 5 Cyclopses attempt to engage The Battletoads in hand to hand combat, but they are outmatched by the Toads. Zit kills Skrull #23 & 25 while Pimple pops Skrull #26. Rash kills Skrull #24 & 27, but is then hit by an optic blast from War Skrull #1 that rips thru him to end his life. War Skrull #1 is then sliced apart, not by Darth Rave but by his new apprentice Darth Techno. Darth Rave has by no means gotten over the loss of his master Darth Maul, but he is doing his best to relay the fierce fighting style that was taught to him, to his new apprentice. Lord Rave has noticed that Lord Techno is strong with the force but he is not without problems. Darth Techno, who was briefly instructed by Count Dooku during Season 1, was kicked off of The Brotherhood for former member of Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches: Darth Yardigan. Lord Tyranus claimed that Darth Techno spent too much time partying instead of learning the true meaning of the force. But under the more exciting tutelage of Darth Rave, perhaps Lord Techno will fare a little better. Starscream targets Deathbird with one of his missiles and blows her out of the air but Jean Gray (still a War Skrull at heart) flies head first into Starscream and takes him out in true kamikaze fashion. Khan uses his superior strength and speed to dodge the attacks of Donatello and steal away the turtle’s weapon. With Don’s bo in hand, Khan is able to crack the turtle in the head and kill him. The 2 remaining Battletoads come to help out the Turtles but Khan is able to use Donatello’s weapon on Pimple, to finish him off as well. Raiden pumps Xemomorph #5 and Brood Alien #2 with enough lightning to blow them to pieces, but the acid spray from Xenomorph #5 puts an end to Raiden as well. Sonic the Hedgehog uses his spin attack to take out Xenomorph #2, and is then actually fast enough to avoid the acid spray despite the close proximity of the attack. Darth Rave and Darth Techno jump in with their lightsabers to take out the last 2 remaining Xenomorphs, but Darth Techno gets cocky for just a second to long, which causes him to not notice Brood Alien #4, who rips the Sith Lord apart. Splinter uses his superior martial arts skills to take out the final 2 Brood Aliens, but once the last of the aliens are defeated Unus takes advantage of the exhausted old sensei and uses one of Darth Techno’s 2 fallen lightsabers to kill Splinter. Casey Jones goes into a rage after seeing the death of Splinter and starts swinging his hockey stick like a man possessed. Casey, with the help of his equally infuriated pal Raphael take out both the fake Ice Man, and the fake Beast. Super Skrull then flies down and wraps his elastic leg around the neck of Casey Jones and breaks it, before the thug/hero can do any more damage. Kilowag returns to the heart of the battle and destroys Baby Nightcrawler with a giant green fist, he then turns his ring on Michelangelo and runs him thru with a sword made entirely of green energy. Kilowag then attempts to attack Venom but Venom is able to jump out of the way of the green lantern’s attacks. Venom then jumps into the air and drop kicks the powerful Kilowag to the ground. Venom then uses his symbiote suit to cover the mouth of Kilowag and then pound on his stomach with his powerful legs until Kilowag can no longer breathe at all and is killed. Super Skrull uses his power of invisibility to sneak up behind Venom while he is still getting off Kilowag and attack him. Venom fights back fiercely but once Super Skrull uses his fire powers, backed with the strength of The Thing, Venom is no longer able to compete, and he dies at the hands of the ultimate War Skrull. Raphael, Nightcrawler, Darth Rave, Zit, & Sonic begin pounding on Unus’ forcefield with everything they have got but it is of no avail. Nocturne then begins trying her hardest to teleport inside of the forcefield but Unus keeps making the forcefield smaller and smaller to keep her out. In the end Unus makes the field so small that Nocturne is trapped inside and killed but with the field so small and out of control even the oxygen that Unus needs to survive is repelled which kills him as well. With Unus the Untouchable finally defeated Super Skrull and Khan see that they are both surrounded and outnumbered, which is why Khan gives a signal to Super Skrull for him to protect Khan with his invisible force field and retreat from the battle by air.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!