The Fantasy Fantasy League website has been hacked by what seems to be Horsemen of Apokolips member, The Joker. He had sat on the bench throughout the inaugural season for reasons unknown at this present time. No doubt this has upset the Clown Prince of Crime. Stay close to this website as we hope to have more information soon.
-Fantasy Fantasy League Office
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
2008 FFL ALL STAR GAME
American League: Michael Corleone (Head Coach), Superman, Darth Vader, Wolverine, Achilles, Supergirl, Mace Windu, Captain America, Darkseid, Neo, Deadpool, Megatron, Phoenix: Rachel Summers, Mimic, Godzilla, Galactus, Dr. Polaris, Legolas, Doomsday, Iron Man, Carlos Olivera (cannot compete, due to death), Extinction Alice (replacing the late Carlos Olivera)
National League: Napoleon Bonaparte (Head Coach), Silver Surfer, Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Gandalf the Grey, Optimus Prime, Hal Jordan, Thor, Darth Maul, Qui Gon Jinn, Poseidon, Emperor Palpatine, Dave Bowman, Batgirl, Paul Atreides, John McClane, Martian Manhunter, Nightcrawler, Cloverfield Monster, Nick Houslander, and Ron Popeil
It’s a beautiful sunny day in Novi, Michigan. A 2007 Pontiac G6 pulls into the parking lot of the Rock Financial Showplace. Out of the car pours Ryan Poteracki, Josh Houslander, Nick Houslander and Jared Pilkinton. They are all carrying backpacks (except Ryan, who has a man-bag) ready to be filled with comic books, since today is the Motor City Comic Con. “Did you guys know that Galactus was going to be here, and you just didn’t tell me?” asks Ryan. “Galactus? Wow, dude. I think you’ve finally lost it,” replies Josh. “Okay, maybe. But then who the hell is that?!” questions Ryan as he points up into the sky at the Devourer of Worlds, who is standing behind the Showplace. “Okay, well this is new. See and I thought they couldn’t make Galactus a big guy wearing a purple helmet in Fantastic Four 2 because it would be too unbelievable?” says Nick. “Maybe we should get inside?” asks Jared. They all run into the Comic Con. Luckily for them, Bryan Beckerman hooked them all up with advance passes, so they wouldn’t have to wait in line. “Wasn’t that Deadpool waiting in line back there?” asks Ryan. “At this point, I’m just going to say… Yes,” replies Josh. The doors of the Comic Con are then blown open by a massive explosion. The four of them run in and see the First Annual Fantasy Fantasy League All Star Game fully underway.
The Michael Corleone coached American League is squaring off against the National League, led by Head Coach Napoleon Bonaparte. Wasting no time, Yoda, Gandalf, and Emperor Palpatine charge both regular season and playoffs MVP’s, Supergirl and Superman. The lasts of Krypton are caught off guard by this unique alliance, which is exactly what Napoleon was hoping for. Gandalf lays down a suppressing wave of magic as Yoda and Palpatine flip and jump around Kara and Clark at amazing speeds. They never stay with one opponent for too long. Superman and Supergirl are using their heat vision, but are deflected by the lightsabers that the two NL’ers are wielding. The blasts that Palpatine deflects kills multiple Comic Con patrons, but Yoda makes sure the ones he deflects bounce harmlessly off his blade. Gandalf then takes a more aggressive part in the battle. He uses his magic along with the Emperor’s Sith lightning to blast Superman clear across the Con, slamming him into Virgil’s signing booth, killing the ex-pro wrestler. The three of them now focus their efforts on the regular season MVP. Supergirl, though extremely outnumbered, doesn’t back down for a second. She tears through the air and in an instant, snatches Gandalf’s staff out of his own hands and shoves it into his chest. Then in his dying breath grabs a hold of Kara’s arms and yells “Palpatine! NOW!” The Emperor fires an incredible bolt of Sith lightning at Supergirl. The lightning singes her hair and burns her skirt, making it even shorter than before, but does not kill her. She frees herself from Gandalf’s body and turns to Palpatine and Yoda. Using her super-hearing, she hears in the background her cousin flying back into battle. He flies fast back at Palpatine but is taken down out of nowhere by Yoda. The Jedi master jumps into the air and plunges his lightsaber deep into the “S” on Kal-El’s chest. “Kryptonite, my lightsaber crystal is,” calmly says Yoda as he pulls his blade out of Superman. Shocked, Supergirl flies at Yoda in anger, but unfortunately for her, had completely ignored Emperor Palpatine in the process. Both Yoda and Palpatine leap at Supergirl from opposite directions, lightsabers drawn, cutting her into several pieces. Then a rare smile comes over Palpatine’s face as shock and pain wash over Yoda’s. Darkseid has just hit Yoda in the back with his Omega Beams at full power. Yoda is utterly vaporized. “NO WAY! There’s no way Darkseid could kill Yoda like that! He would have sensed that coming a mile away,” shouts some fanboy from the crowd that had formed. Darkseid doesn’t even dignify the fanboy’s cries of protest with words. Instead, he uses another well places blast from his Omega Beams to disintegrate the fanboy. Darkseid walks up to Emperor Palpatine and says “Your powers are great, and your evilness is impressive. We should speak at a later time.” He then turns his back to the Emperor and begins to walk away, but is hit by a bolt of lightning. Darkseid thinks this is Palpatine, but it’s actually Thor flying into action. “Prepare to perish. Thou art evil. Thou art American League,” bellows the God of Thunder. As Darkseid is making his way back to his feet, he is hit with a blow to the chest from Thor’s might hammer, Mjolnir. This sends him crashing through a wall and outside. Darkseid gets back up and grabs a hold of a couple convention goers and throws them at Thor, who’s flying towards him. Darkseid goes to grab another patron, when he realizes that it’s actually Deadpool. “Deadpool? Why are you waiting in line?” We’ve got an All Star Game to win!” yells Darkseid. “What All Star Game? I’m here to get Bea Arthur to sign my bootleg copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special,” replies Deadpool. “Get in there and figh…” yells Darkseid right before he is smashed in the face with Mjolnir. “Ouch… that’s gonna leave a mark,” Deadpool says to himself as he runs inside. “Thou art finished! Now ye evil will cease,” says Thor as he raises up Mjolnir to give the kill blow to Darkseid. “Do you think your puny hammer will stop me and my team?!” shouts Darkseid as he unleashes yet another blast of his Omega Beams. Thor blocks the beams with his hammer. “Your problem, Son of Odin, is that you didn’t come out here with a back up plan,” states Darkseid. At this moment, Thor is blasted in the back by Galactus’s Power Cosmic eye beams. A mighty scream comes from deep within Thor’s husk. Knowing the end is near for him; Thor says an Asgardian prayer to himself and then unleashes an unbelievable bolt of lightning down upon both Galactus and Darkseid. The earth itself shakes and the Rock Financial Showplace begins to rumble and fall apart from the power coming out of these three gods. NL Head Coach Napoleon Bonaparte sees this devastation and acts quickly. “Bowman! Obtenir votre âne là maintenant et avoir mis hors une fin à cette destruction, ou tous sommes finis!” (Which loosely translated is: “Bowman! Get your ass out there now and put an end to this destruction, or we’re all finished!”) screams Napoleon. The Starchild moves in a blink of an eye to the outside of the Comic Con, where Thor still has not fallen to the might of Darkseid’s Omega Beams and the Power Cosmic from Galactus. Bowman merges with Thor to ease his pain. “Go mighty Thor, Valhalla awaits your. I’ll handle this,” the Starchild calmly says to Thor as he dies. Dave Bowman them teleports himself, Darkseid and Galactus to another plane of existence, where their battle may rage until the end of time.
Meanwhile, back at the All Star Game, Deadpool has still yet to join the battle. Instead, he is haggling over the price of New Mutants #98. “Ten dollars? That’s it?! And they say I’m insane! Are you sure you didn’t forget a couple zeroes on this price tag?” rants Deadpool. The comic book vendor replies, “Dude, give me a break, it’s only the first appearance of Gideon and Domino.” “AND ME!!!” yells Deadpool as he shoots the head off of the vendor. He begins to walk away, but turns around and takes the copy of New Mutants #98. “Good thing for this bag and board,” Deadpool says to himself as he wipes the vendor’s blood off of the comic book. Batgirl uses her bat-rope to swing in and dropkick Legolas down by the T-shirt place. They proceed to get into a vicious hand to hand fight. Batgirl tries to keep the fight close so Legolas cannot use his bow and arrows. Most importantly, Batgirl fights like Batman taught her, dirty. She grabs a hold of Legolas’s long blonde hair and gives him a karate chop right to the larynx. She then gives him a hard elbow to one of his kidneys. But Legolas is able to sweep her feet out from underneath her and is able to pull his bow and arrow out. He fires an arrow at Batgirl, but she evades it by firing her bat-rope and swinging high up into the air. She swings around to attack again, but Legolas fires multiple arrows into the air with his Elvish speed. One arrow cuts her bat-rope and the others plunge into several parts of her body. She crashes into the top of the T-shirt place, bleeding to death all over the different 80’s T-shirts that are sold there. The strange thing is, with all of the destruction and fighting going on, most of the attendees at the Motor City Comic Con are so self involved with their own geeky lives, that the most attention they pay to the battle is to snap a few pictures or videotape something for You Tube. American League Head Coach Michael Corleone now releases Doomsday upon the All Star Game. The 501st Legion of Stormtroopers, thinking they are “Billy Bad-Asses” as usual, try to get in the way of Doomsday, with horrific results. Every last member of the 501 is mutilated and dismembered by Doomsday. He is finally slowed down by a powerful cosmic blast from Silver Surfer, who flies in on his board. Doomsday is knocked far back, crashing into the General Lee and destroying the accompanying Dukes of Hazard museum camper. Doomsday then picks up Herbie the Love Bug and launches it at the oncoming Silver Surfer. Ol’ Chromedome blasts it away and drives his board into Doomsday, pinning him against the wall. Doomsday begins to laugh in Norrin Radd’s face. He then grabs a hold of the Surfer’s ankle and whips him into David Finch’s booth, killing the Marvel Comics artist. Silver Surfer then unloads a massive blast of cosmic energy right into Doomsday’s face, which gives the Surfer the chance he needs. He leaps back onto his board, grabs Doomsday, and heads up into the heavens. He flies at the speed of light, to several cosmoses away and launches Doomsday right into a star that was about to go Supernova, thus, killing the evil behemoth.
Back on Earth, at the Comic Con, the combo of Ryan, Josh, Nick and Jared are soaking in all of the carnage that surrounds them. “Dude, is that John McClane fighting Achilles?” asks Jared. “Hey McClane! Kick that Greek pretty-boy’s ass!” exclaims Nick. “Umm, wait, I’m confused. Isn’t that NICK fighting Achilles with McClane??” ask Ryan as he sees Nick Houslander fighting the Greek warrior. Achilles is more or less handing both of them their asses. He smashes his shield right in John McClane’s face, breaking his nose. He then kicks him in the gut, sending him flying over to the feet of Ryan, Josh, Nick and Jared. Achilles races over and runs his sword through the chest of Nick. “WHAT THE HELL!?!” shouts Josh, as Ryan and Jared just stand there in disbelief. Achilles looks down at John McClane, ready to finish him as well, when John says “Yippie-kay-yay M*!#@%&$@*%.” Achilles then gets a basketball-sized hole blasted into his torso from behind. Achilles falls and Ryan, Josh and Jared see Nick Houslander standing there with a smoking 12 gauge shotgun in his hands. “Wrong Nick Houslander, B!@$%,” quips Nick. He then turns to his friends and says “Oh hey guys. Why don’t you take off and I’ll meet you later at BW’s.” “As cool as watching this is, he’s probably right,” replies Ryan. The three remaining guys leave for the bar as Nick Houslander and John McClane race back into battle. Once they get out to Ryan’s car they see that the battle as spilled to the outside and in a big way. Godzilla and Mimic are taking on the Cloverfield Monster. Their path of destruction spreads as far as the eye can see. The Cloverfield Monster has left Twelve Oaks Mall a burning, smoking pile of rubble. I-96 is utterly annihilated. But by some grace of God, Fountain Walk is still intact. Mimic has taken the powers of Phoenix, Poseidon, Dr. Polaris, Nightcrawler, and Wolverine as he attacks the smaller monsters that Cloverfield has spit out. Using earthquakes, flying metal rebar from the demolished buildings and teleportation, Mimic is able to keep the oncoming monsters at bay and in low numbers. Godzilla rips into Cloverfield like a seasoned veteran. He starts off with his patented “fly-on-his-tail double kick” to knock Cloverfield over and then incinerates it with his atomic breath. Godzilla lets out a ferocious roar after this kill. Back inside, Deadpool patiently waits in line for Bea Arthur’s autograph, who is still diligently signing, despite the chaos. Random Expendable Ninja attempts to cut in front of Deadpool, who does not take kindly to line jumpers, and disposes of the ninja with a well placed kitana in the neck. Ron Popeil, who has been virtually unseen so far, walks right into the middle of the Comic Con. He is equipped with the Ronco Instant Black Hole On-The-Go. Ron fires it up, but it goes haywire and opens up a black hole bigger than he desired. It sucks in Billy Dee Williams, Lou Ferrigno, Adam West, the body of Virgil, Bea Arthur, several convention goers, and entire booths. Completely distraught, Deadpool instinctively leaps into the black hole in an attempt to save Bea. But as he’s diving in, he throws a grappling hook around Ron Popeil. “You’re coming with me Mr. Set It and Forget It,” says Deadpool as they are both sucked in. But by pulling Ron in as well, the lack hole collapses in on itself. Over by Tom Savini’s booth, Mace Windu is holding off Hal Jordan, who has made a lightsaber of his own with his power ring. Mace Windu dodges Hal’s lightsaber, but it does take off Tom Savini’s arm. Some random fanboy runs up to Tom and says, “Wow! That is some amazing special effects!” “Arrrggghh! This isn’t a prop, you ass! It’s my arm!” screams Tom in pain. Then in the ensuing melee, both the fanboy and Tom Savini are killed by the twirling lightsabers. Hal Jordan is able to keep pace with Master Windu for a while, but eventually falls to the Jedi’s purple lightsaber. Hal Jordan’s power ring then begins to float in the air in search of a replacement. Now whether the ring chose him or it was his abilities with the Force, the power ring went to Mace Windu. Silver Surfer has returned from the far reaches of space and comes back hard. He flies right through a hole in Godzilla’s chest that he made with his cosmic energy. Silver Surfer flies right past Megatron and Optimus Prime, who have been battling in the parking lot since the early beginnings of this All Star Game. Megatron, always seizing any advantage he can, enlists the aid of Mimic, who with the powers of Dr. Polaris lifts Optimus Prime into the air. This allows Megatron to use his fusion cannon to blow Prime apart.
Inside the Rock Financial Showplace, Qui Gon Jinn squares off against the one he brought before the Jedi Council, Darth Vader. Unfortunately, Qui Gon doesn’t hold up much of a fight, as Vader viciously rips through his once would be mentor. Darth Vader continues his bloody path and slices apart several more Comic Con patrons, one of which happens to be Bryan Beckerman, who tried to ask for an autograph. Another Sith is in the thick of battle as well, as Darth Maul attacks Neo with blinding rage and aggression, with Emperor Palpatine watching closely. Neo ducks and dodges almost every offensive maneuver Maul throws at him. Neo unloads several clips at the Sith Lord, but all are deflected by the spinning double bladed lightsaber and into various passer bys. Neo runs up to Darth Maul, grabs his lightsaber and launches him in the air. Neo then flies up after him and lands an uppercut that snaps Darth Maul’s neck. The Emperor takes this opportunity to fry Neo with all of the Sith lightning he could muster. Neo flies back down towards the Emperor, despite the incredible pain and grabs hold of Palpatine. This move forces the Emperor to electrocute both of them. Their charred bodies both fall to the ground. Megatron charges into the Rock Financial Showplace, but only to be ripped apart by some strange force. Nightcrawler teleports quickly outside and back inside just as fast. Only now, he’s holding Mimic’s head, who was not expecting such a gruesome attack by the one time priest. Captain America, along side Extinction Alice race in to double team Martian Manhunter. Extinction Alice strikes first with her telepathy, but J’onn J’onzz strikes back with some of his own. Captain America is defending himself against potshots taken at him by John McClane and Nick Houslander. Both Alice and J’onn begin to scream in agony as they overload each other’s minds. Captain America throws his shield at Nick and John but they take cover behind pieces of Megatron. Cap then does a back flip behind Martian Manhunter, and catches his shield and smashes the skull of J’onn J’onzz with it. Unfortunately he was too late. Extinction Alice’s brain was completely destroyed by Martian Manhunter’s attack. John McClane is then hit in the back by three arrows fired by Legolas, who was hiding out at the T-shirt stand. “Aww son of a b#$@!, God damn m@%*&@$%!&k$%!” exclaims McClane as he pulls one of the arrows out of his shoulder. “Aww s#!%,” replies Nick. John’s then finished off with a couple more arrows to the chest. Nick is almost hit as well, but Nightcrawler teleports him to safety. Paul Atreides is confronted by Wolverine who has been stalking him for a while now. “May your blades shatter and crack,” says Paul. “Not these blades, Bub,” replies Wolverine as he lunges towards Paul. He is able to evade Logan’s attack and spin kicks him in the back of the head. “Your head… it feels like kicking steel,” asks Paul Muad’Dib. “Adamantium,” replies Logan. Paul Atreides stabs and slices Wolverine at lightning speed causing massive amounts of damage. Wolverine catches Paul’s crysknife between his claws and shatters the blade with a flick of his wrists. He then completely eviscerates Muad’Dib, spilling his intestines on the floor below. Wolverine then falls to the ground as well; letting his healing factor kick into overdrive. Obi Wan Kenobi is defending himself against Iron Man’s repulsor rays with his lightsaber. He uses the Force to knock Iron Man into the concession area. Obi Wan walks over to the fallen Tony Stark, only to receive a face full of repulsor rays at maximum force. This move kills the Jedi Master, but depletes most of Iron Man’s power. Napoleon sees that his team’s backs are up against the wall. So he calls upon Poseidon to level the playing field. Literally. Poseidon creates an earthquake that splits the floor of the Rock Financial Showplace, consuming vendors, celebrities, patrons, and even combatants. Wolverine falls into the abyss due to his extreme exhaustion. Legolas is knocked in as well by Nick Houslander who yells out “Oh darn!” to the falling elf. He is however, hit with an arrow in the throat from Legolas who still manages to get one shot off. Nick falls into the open ground to his death. Iron Man cannot protect himself from the earthquake either, as he is crushed by falling debris. Michael Corleone sends Phoenix after Poseidon to put and end to all of this anarchy. Rachel Summers attacks Poseidon with the Phoenix Force at amazing speed. Poseidon’s control over earthquakes is fairing ineffective against Phoenix. So instead, Poseidon attempts to subdue her with his control over water. The pipes throughout the Showplace burst and the water rushes onto Phoenix. But this doesn’t affect her Phoenix Fire, for it is cosmic. It isn’t until Silver Surfer lends a hand and shows Rachel the true meaning of cosmic power and obliterates her with a blast that rocks what’s left of the Comic Con.
Head Coach Corleone brings Dr. Polaris over to him and says “I know it was you Neal. You broke my heart. YOU BROKE MY HEART! You never should have betrayed the American League.” He then kisses Dr. Polaris on his helmet and walks away. Dr. Polaris is then Force choked by Darth Vader. Nightcrawler then begins to rapidly teleporting Napoleon Bonaparte out of harms way. Mace Windu tosses Captain America his lightsaber as Cap races up the rubble. He leaps off the head of Megatron and ignites Mace’s lightsaber. Nightcrawler and Napoleon reappear right in front of Captain America. He uses Mace’s lightsaber to cut Nightcrawler in half. Cap then grabs Napoleon in mid air and throws him down to the ground. Napoleon, bloodied and battered from the fall, looks up to see Michael Corleone standing above him holding a gun and smoking a cigarette. “Nothing personal, just business,” says Don Corleone as he puts a bullet into the French commander’s head. Mace Windu charges after the already beaten Poseidon and ends his misery by using his newly acquired power ring. The last member of the Nation League All Star Team then shows why he was one of the leading vote-getters. Silver Surfer rips through the air, not even attempting to evade Michael Corleone, who is split in two by his surfboard. Silver Surfer blast Darth Vader’s chest, destroying his life support system, killing the Sith Lord. Captain America throws Mace Windu back his lightsaber, who takes to the air. Mace is now outfitted in a cross between his traditional Jedi garb and a Green Lantern uniform. The Jedi Master creates a lightsaber of pure green energy and ignites his purple one as well. Both Mace and Silver Surfer fly head first at each other, and when they hit, they create a shockwave that explodes what remained of the Motor City Comic Con. Once the dust clears, Captain America sees the Surfer coming out of the chaos. Only it isn’t the Silver Surfer, but Mace Windu, bleeding badly, but standing up the surfboard.
THE AMERICAN LEAGUE IS VICTORIOUS!
National League: Napoleon Bonaparte (Head Coach), Silver Surfer, Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Gandalf the Grey, Optimus Prime, Hal Jordan, Thor, Darth Maul, Qui Gon Jinn, Poseidon, Emperor Palpatine, Dave Bowman, Batgirl, Paul Atreides, John McClane, Martian Manhunter, Nightcrawler, Cloverfield Monster, Nick Houslander, and Ron Popeil
It’s a beautiful sunny day in Novi, Michigan. A 2007 Pontiac G6 pulls into the parking lot of the Rock Financial Showplace. Out of the car pours Ryan Poteracki, Josh Houslander, Nick Houslander and Jared Pilkinton. They are all carrying backpacks (except Ryan, who has a man-bag) ready to be filled with comic books, since today is the Motor City Comic Con. “Did you guys know that Galactus was going to be here, and you just didn’t tell me?” asks Ryan. “Galactus? Wow, dude. I think you’ve finally lost it,” replies Josh. “Okay, maybe. But then who the hell is that?!” questions Ryan as he points up into the sky at the Devourer of Worlds, who is standing behind the Showplace. “Okay, well this is new. See and I thought they couldn’t make Galactus a big guy wearing a purple helmet in Fantastic Four 2 because it would be too unbelievable?” says Nick. “Maybe we should get inside?” asks Jared. They all run into the Comic Con. Luckily for them, Bryan Beckerman hooked them all up with advance passes, so they wouldn’t have to wait in line. “Wasn’t that Deadpool waiting in line back there?” asks Ryan. “At this point, I’m just going to say… Yes,” replies Josh. The doors of the Comic Con are then blown open by a massive explosion. The four of them run in and see the First Annual Fantasy Fantasy League All Star Game fully underway.
The Michael Corleone coached American League is squaring off against the National League, led by Head Coach Napoleon Bonaparte. Wasting no time, Yoda, Gandalf, and Emperor Palpatine charge both regular season and playoffs MVP’s, Supergirl and Superman. The lasts of Krypton are caught off guard by this unique alliance, which is exactly what Napoleon was hoping for. Gandalf lays down a suppressing wave of magic as Yoda and Palpatine flip and jump around Kara and Clark at amazing speeds. They never stay with one opponent for too long. Superman and Supergirl are using their heat vision, but are deflected by the lightsabers that the two NL’ers are wielding. The blasts that Palpatine deflects kills multiple Comic Con patrons, but Yoda makes sure the ones he deflects bounce harmlessly off his blade. Gandalf then takes a more aggressive part in the battle. He uses his magic along with the Emperor’s Sith lightning to blast Superman clear across the Con, slamming him into Virgil’s signing booth, killing the ex-pro wrestler. The three of them now focus their efforts on the regular season MVP. Supergirl, though extremely outnumbered, doesn’t back down for a second. She tears through the air and in an instant, snatches Gandalf’s staff out of his own hands and shoves it into his chest. Then in his dying breath grabs a hold of Kara’s arms and yells “Palpatine! NOW!” The Emperor fires an incredible bolt of Sith lightning at Supergirl. The lightning singes her hair and burns her skirt, making it even shorter than before, but does not kill her. She frees herself from Gandalf’s body and turns to Palpatine and Yoda. Using her super-hearing, she hears in the background her cousin flying back into battle. He flies fast back at Palpatine but is taken down out of nowhere by Yoda. The Jedi master jumps into the air and plunges his lightsaber deep into the “S” on Kal-El’s chest. “Kryptonite, my lightsaber crystal is,” calmly says Yoda as he pulls his blade out of Superman. Shocked, Supergirl flies at Yoda in anger, but unfortunately for her, had completely ignored Emperor Palpatine in the process. Both Yoda and Palpatine leap at Supergirl from opposite directions, lightsabers drawn, cutting her into several pieces. Then a rare smile comes over Palpatine’s face as shock and pain wash over Yoda’s. Darkseid has just hit Yoda in the back with his Omega Beams at full power. Yoda is utterly vaporized. “NO WAY! There’s no way Darkseid could kill Yoda like that! He would have sensed that coming a mile away,” shouts some fanboy from the crowd that had formed. Darkseid doesn’t even dignify the fanboy’s cries of protest with words. Instead, he uses another well places blast from his Omega Beams to disintegrate the fanboy. Darkseid walks up to Emperor Palpatine and says “Your powers are great, and your evilness is impressive. We should speak at a later time.” He then turns his back to the Emperor and begins to walk away, but is hit by a bolt of lightning. Darkseid thinks this is Palpatine, but it’s actually Thor flying into action. “Prepare to perish. Thou art evil. Thou art American League,” bellows the God of Thunder. As Darkseid is making his way back to his feet, he is hit with a blow to the chest from Thor’s might hammer, Mjolnir. This sends him crashing through a wall and outside. Darkseid gets back up and grabs a hold of a couple convention goers and throws them at Thor, who’s flying towards him. Darkseid goes to grab another patron, when he realizes that it’s actually Deadpool. “Deadpool? Why are you waiting in line?” We’ve got an All Star Game to win!” yells Darkseid. “What All Star Game? I’m here to get Bea Arthur to sign my bootleg copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special,” replies Deadpool. “Get in there and figh…” yells Darkseid right before he is smashed in the face with Mjolnir. “Ouch… that’s gonna leave a mark,” Deadpool says to himself as he runs inside. “Thou art finished! Now ye evil will cease,” says Thor as he raises up Mjolnir to give the kill blow to Darkseid. “Do you think your puny hammer will stop me and my team?!” shouts Darkseid as he unleashes yet another blast of his Omega Beams. Thor blocks the beams with his hammer. “Your problem, Son of Odin, is that you didn’t come out here with a back up plan,” states Darkseid. At this moment, Thor is blasted in the back by Galactus’s Power Cosmic eye beams. A mighty scream comes from deep within Thor’s husk. Knowing the end is near for him; Thor says an Asgardian prayer to himself and then unleashes an unbelievable bolt of lightning down upon both Galactus and Darkseid. The earth itself shakes and the Rock Financial Showplace begins to rumble and fall apart from the power coming out of these three gods. NL Head Coach Napoleon Bonaparte sees this devastation and acts quickly. “Bowman! Obtenir votre âne là maintenant et avoir mis hors une fin à cette destruction, ou tous sommes finis!” (Which loosely translated is: “Bowman! Get your ass out there now and put an end to this destruction, or we’re all finished!”) screams Napoleon. The Starchild moves in a blink of an eye to the outside of the Comic Con, where Thor still has not fallen to the might of Darkseid’s Omega Beams and the Power Cosmic from Galactus. Bowman merges with Thor to ease his pain. “Go mighty Thor, Valhalla awaits your. I’ll handle this,” the Starchild calmly says to Thor as he dies. Dave Bowman them teleports himself, Darkseid and Galactus to another plane of existence, where their battle may rage until the end of time.
Meanwhile, back at the All Star Game, Deadpool has still yet to join the battle. Instead, he is haggling over the price of New Mutants #98. “Ten dollars? That’s it?! And they say I’m insane! Are you sure you didn’t forget a couple zeroes on this price tag?” rants Deadpool. The comic book vendor replies, “Dude, give me a break, it’s only the first appearance of Gideon and Domino.” “AND ME!!!” yells Deadpool as he shoots the head off of the vendor. He begins to walk away, but turns around and takes the copy of New Mutants #98. “Good thing for this bag and board,” Deadpool says to himself as he wipes the vendor’s blood off of the comic book. Batgirl uses her bat-rope to swing in and dropkick Legolas down by the T-shirt place. They proceed to get into a vicious hand to hand fight. Batgirl tries to keep the fight close so Legolas cannot use his bow and arrows. Most importantly, Batgirl fights like Batman taught her, dirty. She grabs a hold of Legolas’s long blonde hair and gives him a karate chop right to the larynx. She then gives him a hard elbow to one of his kidneys. But Legolas is able to sweep her feet out from underneath her and is able to pull his bow and arrow out. He fires an arrow at Batgirl, but she evades it by firing her bat-rope and swinging high up into the air. She swings around to attack again, but Legolas fires multiple arrows into the air with his Elvish speed. One arrow cuts her bat-rope and the others plunge into several parts of her body. She crashes into the top of the T-shirt place, bleeding to death all over the different 80’s T-shirts that are sold there. The strange thing is, with all of the destruction and fighting going on, most of the attendees at the Motor City Comic Con are so self involved with their own geeky lives, that the most attention they pay to the battle is to snap a few pictures or videotape something for You Tube. American League Head Coach Michael Corleone now releases Doomsday upon the All Star Game. The 501st Legion of Stormtroopers, thinking they are “Billy Bad-Asses” as usual, try to get in the way of Doomsday, with horrific results. Every last member of the 501 is mutilated and dismembered by Doomsday. He is finally slowed down by a powerful cosmic blast from Silver Surfer, who flies in on his board. Doomsday is knocked far back, crashing into the General Lee and destroying the accompanying Dukes of Hazard museum camper. Doomsday then picks up Herbie the Love Bug and launches it at the oncoming Silver Surfer. Ol’ Chromedome blasts it away and drives his board into Doomsday, pinning him against the wall. Doomsday begins to laugh in Norrin Radd’s face. He then grabs a hold of the Surfer’s ankle and whips him into David Finch’s booth, killing the Marvel Comics artist. Silver Surfer then unloads a massive blast of cosmic energy right into Doomsday’s face, which gives the Surfer the chance he needs. He leaps back onto his board, grabs Doomsday, and heads up into the heavens. He flies at the speed of light, to several cosmoses away and launches Doomsday right into a star that was about to go Supernova, thus, killing the evil behemoth.
Back on Earth, at the Comic Con, the combo of Ryan, Josh, Nick and Jared are soaking in all of the carnage that surrounds them. “Dude, is that John McClane fighting Achilles?” asks Jared. “Hey McClane! Kick that Greek pretty-boy’s ass!” exclaims Nick. “Umm, wait, I’m confused. Isn’t that NICK fighting Achilles with McClane??” ask Ryan as he sees Nick Houslander fighting the Greek warrior. Achilles is more or less handing both of them their asses. He smashes his shield right in John McClane’s face, breaking his nose. He then kicks him in the gut, sending him flying over to the feet of Ryan, Josh, Nick and Jared. Achilles races over and runs his sword through the chest of Nick. “WHAT THE HELL!?!” shouts Josh, as Ryan and Jared just stand there in disbelief. Achilles looks down at John McClane, ready to finish him as well, when John says “Yippie-kay-yay M*!#@%&$@*%.” Achilles then gets a basketball-sized hole blasted into his torso from behind. Achilles falls and Ryan, Josh and Jared see Nick Houslander standing there with a smoking 12 gauge shotgun in his hands. “Wrong Nick Houslander, B!@$%,” quips Nick. He then turns to his friends and says “Oh hey guys. Why don’t you take off and I’ll meet you later at BW’s.” “As cool as watching this is, he’s probably right,” replies Ryan. The three remaining guys leave for the bar as Nick Houslander and John McClane race back into battle. Once they get out to Ryan’s car they see that the battle as spilled to the outside and in a big way. Godzilla and Mimic are taking on the Cloverfield Monster. Their path of destruction spreads as far as the eye can see. The Cloverfield Monster has left Twelve Oaks Mall a burning, smoking pile of rubble. I-96 is utterly annihilated. But by some grace of God, Fountain Walk is still intact. Mimic has taken the powers of Phoenix, Poseidon, Dr. Polaris, Nightcrawler, and Wolverine as he attacks the smaller monsters that Cloverfield has spit out. Using earthquakes, flying metal rebar from the demolished buildings and teleportation, Mimic is able to keep the oncoming monsters at bay and in low numbers. Godzilla rips into Cloverfield like a seasoned veteran. He starts off with his patented “fly-on-his-tail double kick” to knock Cloverfield over and then incinerates it with his atomic breath. Godzilla lets out a ferocious roar after this kill. Back inside, Deadpool patiently waits in line for Bea Arthur’s autograph, who is still diligently signing, despite the chaos. Random Expendable Ninja attempts to cut in front of Deadpool, who does not take kindly to line jumpers, and disposes of the ninja with a well placed kitana in the neck. Ron Popeil, who has been virtually unseen so far, walks right into the middle of the Comic Con. He is equipped with the Ronco Instant Black Hole On-The-Go. Ron fires it up, but it goes haywire and opens up a black hole bigger than he desired. It sucks in Billy Dee Williams, Lou Ferrigno, Adam West, the body of Virgil, Bea Arthur, several convention goers, and entire booths. Completely distraught, Deadpool instinctively leaps into the black hole in an attempt to save Bea. But as he’s diving in, he throws a grappling hook around Ron Popeil. “You’re coming with me Mr. Set It and Forget It,” says Deadpool as they are both sucked in. But by pulling Ron in as well, the lack hole collapses in on itself. Over by Tom Savini’s booth, Mace Windu is holding off Hal Jordan, who has made a lightsaber of his own with his power ring. Mace Windu dodges Hal’s lightsaber, but it does take off Tom Savini’s arm. Some random fanboy runs up to Tom and says, “Wow! That is some amazing special effects!” “Arrrggghh! This isn’t a prop, you ass! It’s my arm!” screams Tom in pain. Then in the ensuing melee, both the fanboy and Tom Savini are killed by the twirling lightsabers. Hal Jordan is able to keep pace with Master Windu for a while, but eventually falls to the Jedi’s purple lightsaber. Hal Jordan’s power ring then begins to float in the air in search of a replacement. Now whether the ring chose him or it was his abilities with the Force, the power ring went to Mace Windu. Silver Surfer has returned from the far reaches of space and comes back hard. He flies right through a hole in Godzilla’s chest that he made with his cosmic energy. Silver Surfer flies right past Megatron and Optimus Prime, who have been battling in the parking lot since the early beginnings of this All Star Game. Megatron, always seizing any advantage he can, enlists the aid of Mimic, who with the powers of Dr. Polaris lifts Optimus Prime into the air. This allows Megatron to use his fusion cannon to blow Prime apart.
Inside the Rock Financial Showplace, Qui Gon Jinn squares off against the one he brought before the Jedi Council, Darth Vader. Unfortunately, Qui Gon doesn’t hold up much of a fight, as Vader viciously rips through his once would be mentor. Darth Vader continues his bloody path and slices apart several more Comic Con patrons, one of which happens to be Bryan Beckerman, who tried to ask for an autograph. Another Sith is in the thick of battle as well, as Darth Maul attacks Neo with blinding rage and aggression, with Emperor Palpatine watching closely. Neo ducks and dodges almost every offensive maneuver Maul throws at him. Neo unloads several clips at the Sith Lord, but all are deflected by the spinning double bladed lightsaber and into various passer bys. Neo runs up to Darth Maul, grabs his lightsaber and launches him in the air. Neo then flies up after him and lands an uppercut that snaps Darth Maul’s neck. The Emperor takes this opportunity to fry Neo with all of the Sith lightning he could muster. Neo flies back down towards the Emperor, despite the incredible pain and grabs hold of Palpatine. This move forces the Emperor to electrocute both of them. Their charred bodies both fall to the ground. Megatron charges into the Rock Financial Showplace, but only to be ripped apart by some strange force. Nightcrawler teleports quickly outside and back inside just as fast. Only now, he’s holding Mimic’s head, who was not expecting such a gruesome attack by the one time priest. Captain America, along side Extinction Alice race in to double team Martian Manhunter. Extinction Alice strikes first with her telepathy, but J’onn J’onzz strikes back with some of his own. Captain America is defending himself against potshots taken at him by John McClane and Nick Houslander. Both Alice and J’onn begin to scream in agony as they overload each other’s minds. Captain America throws his shield at Nick and John but they take cover behind pieces of Megatron. Cap then does a back flip behind Martian Manhunter, and catches his shield and smashes the skull of J’onn J’onzz with it. Unfortunately he was too late. Extinction Alice’s brain was completely destroyed by Martian Manhunter’s attack. John McClane is then hit in the back by three arrows fired by Legolas, who was hiding out at the T-shirt stand. “Aww son of a b#$@!, God damn m@%*&@$%!&k$%!” exclaims McClane as he pulls one of the arrows out of his shoulder. “Aww s#!%,” replies Nick. John’s then finished off with a couple more arrows to the chest. Nick is almost hit as well, but Nightcrawler teleports him to safety. Paul Atreides is confronted by Wolverine who has been stalking him for a while now. “May your blades shatter and crack,” says Paul. “Not these blades, Bub,” replies Wolverine as he lunges towards Paul. He is able to evade Logan’s attack and spin kicks him in the back of the head. “Your head… it feels like kicking steel,” asks Paul Muad’Dib. “Adamantium,” replies Logan. Paul Atreides stabs and slices Wolverine at lightning speed causing massive amounts of damage. Wolverine catches Paul’s crysknife between his claws and shatters the blade with a flick of his wrists. He then completely eviscerates Muad’Dib, spilling his intestines on the floor below. Wolverine then falls to the ground as well; letting his healing factor kick into overdrive. Obi Wan Kenobi is defending himself against Iron Man’s repulsor rays with his lightsaber. He uses the Force to knock Iron Man into the concession area. Obi Wan walks over to the fallen Tony Stark, only to receive a face full of repulsor rays at maximum force. This move kills the Jedi Master, but depletes most of Iron Man’s power. Napoleon sees that his team’s backs are up against the wall. So he calls upon Poseidon to level the playing field. Literally. Poseidon creates an earthquake that splits the floor of the Rock Financial Showplace, consuming vendors, celebrities, patrons, and even combatants. Wolverine falls into the abyss due to his extreme exhaustion. Legolas is knocked in as well by Nick Houslander who yells out “Oh darn!” to the falling elf. He is however, hit with an arrow in the throat from Legolas who still manages to get one shot off. Nick falls into the open ground to his death. Iron Man cannot protect himself from the earthquake either, as he is crushed by falling debris. Michael Corleone sends Phoenix after Poseidon to put and end to all of this anarchy. Rachel Summers attacks Poseidon with the Phoenix Force at amazing speed. Poseidon’s control over earthquakes is fairing ineffective against Phoenix. So instead, Poseidon attempts to subdue her with his control over water. The pipes throughout the Showplace burst and the water rushes onto Phoenix. But this doesn’t affect her Phoenix Fire, for it is cosmic. It isn’t until Silver Surfer lends a hand and shows Rachel the true meaning of cosmic power and obliterates her with a blast that rocks what’s left of the Comic Con.
Head Coach Corleone brings Dr. Polaris over to him and says “I know it was you Neal. You broke my heart. YOU BROKE MY HEART! You never should have betrayed the American League.” He then kisses Dr. Polaris on his helmet and walks away. Dr. Polaris is then Force choked by Darth Vader. Nightcrawler then begins to rapidly teleporting Napoleon Bonaparte out of harms way. Mace Windu tosses Captain America his lightsaber as Cap races up the rubble. He leaps off the head of Megatron and ignites Mace’s lightsaber. Nightcrawler and Napoleon reappear right in front of Captain America. He uses Mace’s lightsaber to cut Nightcrawler in half. Cap then grabs Napoleon in mid air and throws him down to the ground. Napoleon, bloodied and battered from the fall, looks up to see Michael Corleone standing above him holding a gun and smoking a cigarette. “Nothing personal, just business,” says Don Corleone as he puts a bullet into the French commander’s head. Mace Windu charges after the already beaten Poseidon and ends his misery by using his newly acquired power ring. The last member of the Nation League All Star Team then shows why he was one of the leading vote-getters. Silver Surfer rips through the air, not even attempting to evade Michael Corleone, who is split in two by his surfboard. Silver Surfer blast Darth Vader’s chest, destroying his life support system, killing the Sith Lord. Captain America throws Mace Windu back his lightsaber, who takes to the air. Mace is now outfitted in a cross between his traditional Jedi garb and a Green Lantern uniform. The Jedi Master creates a lightsaber of pure green energy and ignites his purple one as well. Both Mace and Silver Surfer fly head first at each other, and when they hit, they create a shockwave that explodes what remained of the Motor City Comic Con. Once the dust clears, Captain America sees the Surfer coming out of the chaos. Only it isn’t the Silver Surfer, but Mace Windu, bleeding badly, but standing up the surfboard.
THE AMERICAN LEAGUE IS VICTORIOUS!
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