Look Up!!

Ok, as I am sure most of you are aware, viewing the site on mobile is great for reading matches but a pain when you want to get to the schedule or your roster because you have to view the web version of the site and do a lot of pinching and crap.

I, the almighty Fizzatu, have come to ease your burdens and save your fingers from unnecessary tapping.

So I ask you to Look Up!  On a PC, between the top post and the logo, you will see handy links to the most used pages on the site: Rosters, Schedule, and the Standings.  On Mobile, it should show as a dropdown box.

Let me know if there is anything else you would like to see added to the list that perhaps I forgot.

Later,
Z

Season 9 Week 4: TEAM vs. The Murderflies

TEAM is: Unicron, King of the Cosmos, Robo-King, Queen of the Cosmos, Prince, Ace, Lalala, Mike “Goof Juice” Geney (w/ Tron Light Suit and Light Disc), Imperiex, Black Lantern Ranx the Sentient City, The Presence, Shockwave, Dirge, Thrust, Puzzler in a Courageous Suit, Cybertronian Guardians #3 and #4, and Jedi Knight #39B in a Jedi V-Wing.

The Murderflies are: Amatsu Mikaboshi: The Chaos King, Ego, Odin, Dr. Doomsday, Mars Attacks Martians #1-10, Female Dr. Light, Draco Malfoy, Joruus C'Baoth, Jorus C'Baoth, Ham Salad in an Arwing, Chewchilla in an Arwing, Marines #40-52, Navy Seal Chief #10, Navy Seals #28-32, and Quint from Jaws.

Near “Ross Two-Four-Eight”,

a star of Andromeda,

Unicron hovered.

The Planetoid Ranx

encircled the Transformer

as a living moon.

I, Mikaboshi,

King of Chaos and Darkness,

rode into battle.

Ego carried us

through folds of Hyperspace to 

our destination.

We were expected,

of course, upon arrival.

Can't fool Unicron.

The three planets gauged

the battle soon unfolding,

and it unfolded.

The first to launch were

Ham Salad and Chewchilla;

Such brave parodies.

Chewchilla shot Ace,

but Robo-King swatted him

with a cold steel hand.

A Jedi V-Wing

failed to outmaneuver Ham

and was blown apart.

He sniped Lalala

upon Unicron’s surface,

but The Queen caught him.

With gathered debris,

The Prince travelled stealthily

to Ego’s backside.

Quite quickly he rolled

a Katamari so large

it became a threat.

Ego attempted

to fight the prince off with his

own antibodies.

But the little Prince

rolled them up with growing ease.

We had to step in.

Firing blind like fools,

the Martians threw flames at it,

igniting the mass.

After rolling them,

The Prince flung the ball to space

to become a star.

I stepped forward then

and stomped the tiny pest down,

then looked to the star.

King of All Cosmos

caught it above, and he dunked

it back at Ego.

The fireball flew,

but before it made impact

Doctor Light moved in.

As the star approached

she siphoned its light away

and it shrunk in size.

She finished it off

glowing with intensity,

brightly empowered.

With a blinding blast

she fired back at The King,

dead in mere seconds.

Robo-King and Queen

attempted to intervene,

but they stood no chance.

We took the battle

straight to Unicron, and the

enemy aboard him.

As Ego advanced,

Ranx increased its gravity

to pull Ego in.

A kamikaze,

he aimed for hard collision,

but Ego is fast.

We bolted around

striking at Ranx from behind,

a crash on our terms.

He was knocked far off,

out of Unicron’s orbit,

never seen again.

With allies in tow,

I teleported across

to board Unicron.

When he felt us land,

the planet swallowed Ego

in his hungry void.

A slew of robots

waited with Imperiex

as we charged head on.

Draco Malfoy fell,

first blood taken by Shockwave,

but metal is weak.

Our Commons were frail,

many fell to Transformers,

and some to GoBots.

I had no trouble;

Doctor Doomsday and Odin

helped me tear them down.

Imperiex, though,

Imperiex was stronger.

He took us some time.

He crushed the Jedi,

he destroyed Doctor Doomsday

with a small black hole.

Only with Odin

and Doctor Light’s combined strikes

did I crack his shell.

His energy poured

from the breaks in the armor,

struggling to flee.

Drunk with energy,

Doctor Light absorbed this too.

Brilliant, yet foolish.

The power burnt her,

eyes pouring beams of hot light,

hair and skin smoking.

Unicron stirred then,

taking on his robot form

for this final fight.

“You dare oppose me,

Unicron, Lord of Chaos?

You won't survive long.”

“Lord of Chaos?

I am its King, Unicron.

You are no match.”

Weapons fired free,

missiles from his every pore.

Too much for Odin.

I wouldn't be harmed,

not by mere technology.

I grew to his size.

Doctor Light was safe;

shrouded in blistering light,

no missile reached her.

With difficulty,

I grappled with Unicron,

attempting restraint.

Light flew wildly,

screaming and blasting starlight

into Unicron.

She was hurting him,

melting through him in small bursts.

We would be his death.

It seemed nearly over.

We didn't expect Goof Juice.

We never could have.

Unicron’s shoulder

let open a secret hatch.

From it rose Geney.

In his Tron light suit,

he tossed his disc straight for Light.

What was it made of?

Somehow it survived,

where countless missiles burnt up,

and cut in to Light.

She released it all.

Every ray of stolen light

erupted from her.

Unicron, Goof Juice,

and Ross Two Four Eight itself

all went down with her.

There was nothingness.

Space was left vast and empty

as I drifted there.

Yet I wasn't alone.

I could sense something else there,

blasphemously pure.

Stardust swirled around,

the system was rebuilding.

Vile, orderly.

There was perfection,

sickening and organized,

in the arrangement.

I felt it out there,

a presence in the fabric

of the multiverse.

There was a bright light,

brighter than Doctor Light’s peak,

yet without any heat.

It tore into me,

my very essence dissolved

by its radiance.

We were doomed to fail.

The Presence plays a long game,

and all are his pawns.

Season 9: Week 4: George Washington's Slaves vs The Empire

George Washington’s Slave are: Darth Shemalyah, Nik Landsoh, Brek Nyram, Loki, Superman, Hillary Clinton, Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins and Neil Armstrong (All three astronauts are in the Apollo 11 shuttle), Perla in Perla’s garbage barge spaceship, Starship Troopers #7-18, Tyvokka w/Indigo Lantern Ring, Gigantor, Wolverine, Dormammu & Kryptonian Soldiers #2-7.

The Empire is Silver Surfer, Red She Hulk, Balder the Brave, Captain Britain w/Green Lantern Ring, Mother Askani, In-Betweener, Lord Chaos, Master Order, Hawkeye, Colossus, Set, Nighthawk, Darkseid, Indigo Lantern Sinestro, Black Zero & Naboo Star Fighter.

“Do you know the way to Mount Gay, la la la la la la la la la la la…”

- Dionne Warwick, original lyrics to the classic Burt Bacharach song

The Apollo 11 crew looks at the screen in their shuttle and wonders how they are going to get to their location.

Michael Collins: How do you get to Mount Gay?

Buzz Aldrin: I have no idea. Until this morning, I had never heard of the place.

Neil Armstrong: We are in a spaceship in outer space, it doesn’t even make sense that we are attempting to go to a place called Mount Gay. How is there a mountain in space?

Michael Collins: I am guessing it is really the name of planet or a star system.

Buzz Aldrin: No Mike, it says right here on the screen that the location we are headed for is a place called Mount Gay and that it is specifically a mountain in space.

Neil Armstrong: But you can’t have a mountain in space. What is it connected to? A Mountain can’t just appear out of mid-air.

Buzz Aldrin: Not true. Didn’t you see Avatar? There were floating mountains on that planet.

Michael Collins: That was a movie Buzz.

Neil Armstrong: Wasn’t that the sequel to Titanic?

Buzz Aldrin: Yeah I know, it was a documentary and so was Titanic.

Neil Armstrong: Okay, I thought so.

Michael Collins: It wasn’t a sequel to Titanic Neil.

Neil Armstrong: Oh duh, documentary’s don’t have sequels.

Michael Collins: Yeah, that’s what was wrong with that statement.

Meanwhile, the creators are wondering the same thing on a similar journey.

Lord Chaos: Do you know the way to Mount Gay brother?

Master Order: Of course I do, though I have been away so long, but do not worry, I will not lead you wrong and lose the way.

Lord Chaos: So you are sure you know the way to Mount Gay?

Master Order: It is the only place that I can find peace of mind brother.

In-Betweener: You both realize that we are on a fool’s errand right now right?

Both Lord Chaos and Master Order ignore their creations comment and continue on their way.

Perla the smuggler, along with Hillary Clinton, Tyvokka, Wolverine, Nik Lansoh, Brek Nyram and the Starship Troopers are in Perla’s garbage barge spaceship.

Perla: Hillary, has Michael Collins sent over the coordinates to the location of Mount Gay yet?

Hillary Clinton: They just did. I will send them over to the ship’s communication systems.

Perla: Okay great, I just received them.

Perla looks at the message and notices several other people on the message communication thread.

Perla: Hillary, why are Darkseid and Captain Britain attached to this message?

Hillary: What? (Looking down at her comlink device)

Perla: Please don’t tell me you just sent our top secret plans to the other team.

Hillary: Of course I didn’t. (Hillary looks down at the message) So, say I did accidentally send the coordinates to the other team, just like as a hypothetical. Would that be a bad thing?

Perla: God damnit.

Darkseid and Captain Britain both look down at their comlink devices, at first wondering why they were given the devices but now with the updated coordinates, change their entire team’s direction and head straight toward the location that has been given to them by the enemy.

Back on Perla’s barge, Wolverine is holding Hillary Clinton up against the wall with one claw out perched up to her neck.

Wolverine: You gave our enemy the location to Mount Gay. Given me one reason why I shouldn’t slit your throat right now?

Hillary: I did nothing of the sort. How could I of sent them that information? It was classified information, like I would ever share information of such importance.

Perla: Are you joking, you just admitted to doing that exact thing a couple of minutes ago. I have the message that proves you did it. Looks, it says CC/BCC: kingofapokolips3@reallyhotmail.un & captbritti@excalibur.uk. Who else would you be sending it to?

Hillary: I will no longer answer questions in regards to this matter. Now if you will excuse me Logan, my people need me.

Logan, sick of hearing from the former first lady, impales his teammate with all three claws right through her neck.

Logan: Well Perla, looks like we have a fight on our hands now. Everyone knows that the team that arrives at Mount Gay first will have control over the battle.

Back on Apollo 11

Michael Collins: No, what I am saying is that neither of them are documentary’s. James Cameron directed them; he’s not a documentary filmmaker.

Buzz: Not true, I saw that Aliens of the Deep movie he made, that was definitely a documentary.

Neil: No way, that one was definitely not a documentary. Sigourney Weaver was in that and she’s an actress remember.

Michael: Sigourney Weaver was also in Avatar, which just like Aliens, was not a documentary.

Neil: Oh okay, I stand corrected.

Michael: Thank you.

Buzz: No kidding, I always thought Aliens of the Deep was a movie; I didn’t realize that one was real as well.

Neil: Evidently not.

Buzz: That explains why the aliens look so real. I can’t believe they got that shot of the planet blowing up at the end, amazing luck they were in the right place at the right time.

Michael: That wasn’t Aliens of the Deep, that was Aliens. Two completely different movies.

Neil: Oh okay, so that was a sequel as well. I guess that makes sense. Cameron is sequel happy isn’t he?

Michael: No, you guys, oh never mind.

Buzz: Maybe they are all sequels?

Neil: That makes sense, duh of course.

Back to the Creators

Lord Chaos: This spaceway is a great big freeway.

Master Order: I put a hundred down and bought a spaceship but then remembered we didn’t need one.

Lord Chaos: If you just waited a bit, we could have created a star.

In-Betweener: How would a star have helped us out for this?

Master Order: True brother. The weeks turn into light years, how quick they always do pass.

Lord Chaos: Though, all of the stars that never were, were doing nothing but standing still and pumping fuel.

In-Betweener: I’m obviously not understanding any of this if you didn’t already notice. Why did you both create me if you were never going to listen to me or let me in on anything you ever talked about?

At this point, everyone on both sides was well on their way to Mount Gay. Whatever was waiting for the combatants of this match was a mystery, one that was going to very soon present itself.

Superman: Does any of this make sense to anyone?

Dormammu: Something is controlling us, that is the only explanation.

Superman: I feel you are correct. But why is the question? I know it is an illogical task yet I cannot help but continue on the journey.

Dormaammu: Then continue on our journey we will. At that point, the answer will present itself.

The remaining members of the Empire are following behind Darkseid and Captain Britain via Indigo Lantern Sinestro’s energy projections.

Sinestro: Why did we bring Set along with us on this trip, he is useless in space, yet I feel terrible having those feelings towards my team. Set is a complicated creature, many different minds attached to one body. The conflict is immense, yet when they need to act together, they always do without fail.

Colossus: Very interesting your comments are Sinestro. I love the introspection your thoughts bring up in me.

Red She Hulk: You are not wrong Sinestro. I do not know what I am expected to do once we get there; space is not my strong suit.

Hawkeye: I second that.

Mother Askani: Leave that to me you guys, I will make sure everything is taken care of.

Hawkeye: Thanks mom but what happens if something takes you out?

Mother Askani: How could anything happen to me?

Hawkeye: Just a thought, being a human in space makes me a little nervous okay. Just trying to cover all my bases.

Sinestro: I hate that I feel bad for all of you. My god I hate this ring.

Creators

Lord Chaos: You cannot breathe in Mount Gay.

Master Order: Alas, there is so much space.

In-Betweener: Then why are we going there? Wait, we don’t need to breathe. Why does any of this matter?

Lord Chaos: No matter brother, there will plenty of places for us to stay.

Master Order: I was born and raised in Mount Gay.

In-Betweener: Wait, what? So you both have been there? Okay, I feel a little bit better about all of this now.

Lord Chaos: Me too, we are going back to Mount Gay to find peace of mind.

Master Order: We have so many friends at Mount Gay.

Lord Chaos: Do you know the way to Mount Gay?

In-Betweener: Wait a second, I’m following you guys. I thought you were born there? Please don’t tell me this is all for nothing. Please god, tell me I am not following two lunatics.

At Mount Gay

Darth Shemalyah: They have all bought it my lover.

Loki: Of course they have sweetheart. Was there any doubt in my powers?

Shemalyah looks over at Loki but does not respond immediately.

Shemalyah: The only power I trust is mine. Mine and mine alone.

Loki gives his lover a look and smiles, knowing that with them working together, nothing can stop them.

Loki: Here they come, this battle has finally begun.

Darth Shemalyah smiles slightly and replies, “You mean it is about to come to an end.”

The final battle at Mount Gay

Superman: I see no mountain but I now understand why we have been heading towards this way. Mount Gay is her code name.

Dormammu: Who’s code name?

Superman: In one of the earliest Holocrons, there was a mention of a power so great that it could only be described as a spiritual force. That force is thought to have originated on a long since abandoned planet in the Outer Rim. Nobody was to approach the region as it was known that death was the only thing to follow such a journey towards it.

Dormammu: I suppose the final question for us is for whom is death to come upon today?

Superman: In everything that I know about her, she does not discriminate.

Dormammu: Here they come. It is up to us to protect our team from death, no matter which direction it is coming for us.

In a flurry of action, both teams converged on the region known as Mount Gay. At this point, the fact that there was no mountain to be spoken of was of little concern to anyone. All that was known was that there were combatants everywhere, something that needed no explanation for either team. Death was the order of the day.

Superman flew towards Black Zero, a foe he knew only too well. Though Black Zero was a killer of worlds, nothing could help him this day as Superman along with several Kryptonian soldiers made quick work of him. They then moved onto Balder the Brave, ending his fight before it was even given a chance to begin.

Mother Askani, not one to back down to anyone, decided to take on Superman and his super friends. Though her powers are immense, she was unable to destroy them all. Her fight was a valiant effort but in the end, she was only able to kill Kryptonian soldiers 2 & 3.

Hawkeye: See, this is what I was afraid of.

Superman: Come my friends, this fight has only just begun.

Darkseid: So very true Kal, we have not even begun to warm up.

Darkseid in one fell swoop destroyed Perla’s barge, killing everyone but Tyvokka inside of it, or so it seemed. Nik Landsoh and Brek Nyram were confused to how they survived the blast. Tyvokka held them in a quickly collapsing energy construct, one that was deteriorating before their eyes. Both of them looked at each other realizing that they had little time before they were destroyed. Nik looked over at Brek knowing what had to be done. They both concentrated all of their dark powers together towards Sinestro, shattering his ring, therefore eradicating the energy shield around each and every Empire team member.

One by one, the Empire’s team members fell to the vacuum of space. Hawkeye, Nighthawk and Red She Hulk fell first. Then Colossus and Sinestro himself perished. The massive Set writhed in pain as it found no air to breathe, attempting to teleport anywhere nearby but with not a planet within a light year of where they were, the mighty Set fell as well.

Darkseid then flew towards Superman, taking him on in a one on one battle to the death. With both Darkseid and Superman taking each other on, the Kryptonian soldiers moved onto Captain Britain, who was now being followed behind by the Silver Surfer.

Darth Shemalyah: I thought I told you to keep the surfer away from this battle Loki.

Loki: Despite my power, even I have limits to what I can do.

Darth Shemalyah: That must be difficult to deal with. It is also a shame I have chosen so poorly.

Darth Shemalyah then vanished from sight, confusing the trickster god himself.

The battle rages on, with the Apollo 11 crew shooting the Naboo Star fighter down only to have their ship blown up by Lord Chaos.

Lord Chaos: Home at last.

Dormammu: This is nobody’s home, especially yours my lord.

Dormammu, the master of dark magic that he was, freezes both Lord Chaos and Master Order for mere moments, but in those moments is able to transport them to an alternate dimension, where they are never to be seen from again.

In-Betweener: Clever move my fiery friend, for you though, it will not be enough. In fact, why don’t you join my creators in whatever hell you have sent them too.

The In-Betweener then summons the same dimension that Dormammu had sent his teammates to and teleported him there as well.

In-Betweener: I am clear of mind, nobody can stop me now!!!

The In-Betweener turned his attention toward the first combatants he saw, finishing of Tyvokka and Gigantor. His sound mind, turning into arrogance, the In-Betweener headed towards the Kryptonian soldiers doing battle with the Silver Surfer, though before he knew it, his entire world turned to white. In his confusion, the In-Betweener attempted to summon anything he could, nothing seeming to work. He thought to himself many things, the most important of which, was where he was.

A voice entered his head, only not a voice he was familiar with.

In-Betweener: Hello? Where am I? I know somebody is here, I can hear you.

Darth Shemalyah: Your creators said they were home, I am merely welcoming you to yours.

In-Betweener: But I know not of this place. This is not my home. This is nothing.

Laughter filled the In-Betweener's head, followed by silence. After several minutes of nothing, the confusion began to eat away at him until he was about to explode in anger.

Then out of the silence the voice filled his thoughts once more, a voice that let him in on the secret that would fill his thoughts for eternity.

Darth Shemalyah: This is your home now, some call it the death, I call it your inevitability.

This was the last thing the In-Betweener heard before coming to the truth of his situation, for he was no more, the silence was his end.

The Silver Surfer and Captain Britain had just finished off the final Kryptonian solider when Captain Britain looked down at his ring and noticed the slightest crack. Though the soldiers were all dead and gone, the impact of the battle with them left him with an unfortunate parting gift. Captain Britain sent one blast of green energy towards Superman, a blast that clipped the powerful Kryptonian just enough to give Darkseid the edge in the fight. As Captain Britain’s lantern ring exploded, sending him to his death, the king of Apokolips put the finishing touches on Kal-el for good.

Darkseid: Once again I have defeated the son of Krypton. I will never tire of defeating you.

Darkseid bragged to himself for a moment more only to look in the distance and not see the floating body of his Kryptonian foe but that of the trickster god, Loki himself.

Superman: Like you my Apokolipian friend, I will never tire of this victory.

As Darkseid looked over at his enemy in confusion, he felt a warmth surge through his head, warmth that would eventually overcome him. As the headless Darkseid floated through the empty space next to him, Superman turned his attention on the final Empire team member.

Sliver Surfer: Trickery can only take somebody so far. I suspect your strength has escaped you.

Superman: I have plenty enough left in the tank for you. Speaking of strength, the last time I checked, your purple helmeted master was nowhere in sight. Where is your strength coming from these days?

Silver Surfer: Why don’t you just leave that to me.

The Silver Surfer then attacked Superman with everything the Power Cosmic had, blasting the Kryptonian with enough energy to send him miles away. Silver Surfer does not stop though, flying over to Superman, continuing the pounding, to which was all in his favor. Hit after hit quickly taking its toll on the Slaves member, though just before Superman was taken out for good, a force of dark energy was felt by the final Empire member. The dark energy stopped Silver Surfer in his tracks.

Silver Surfer: No more games Darth, I know you are powerful but you are no match for me. I mean no disrespect either. There is just nothing you can do to counteract me. Though I welcome any attempt you have.

Silver Surfer turns his attention back to Superman, who is barely hanging on to life.

Darth Shemalyah: Despite my power, perhaps you are correct in your assessment. I do not have your (pauses) Power Cosmic. Alternatively though (pauses again) perhaps that isn’t everything my friend. Sometimes, all it takes is just a little leverage in right direction.

The Surfer then notices his board flexing, flexing out of his control. The board being part of his being; sends reverberations throughout his body and before he is able to counteract the effects, his board is broken in half, sending the Surfer floating through space. Though not the end all for the all powerful Surfer, the distraction by the dark one has given Superman enough time to regain enough strength to fly over to him and put his hands around his neck.

Superman: It’s confusing to us too. Her power makes no sense, yet it is there. Though I have nothing but respect for you, until you respect her, I fear you will never be victorious.

With one last turn of his hands, Superman feels the neck of the still confused and disoriented Silver Surfer break, ending this match for good.

Darth Shemalyah: You speak of my power as if it is a surprise.

Superman: It is illogical. There is no precedent for it.

Darth Shemalyah: No precedent for power? That should sound familiar to you Kal-El.

Superman: When I first came to earth they called me a god. I am not a god Darth, just something they had never seen before.

Darth Shemalyah: I ask you, what’s the difference?

Week 4: Emergency Consortium Match

The Abomitrons Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets




The Abomitrons are:

-Snowflame

-Desaad

-Brother Hymn

-Thermal Man

-Thermo

-Korves

-Iron Legion #1-5

-Jazz

-Springer

-Dia Atlas

-Sith Lady Githany

-Dracula

-Panthro

-Cheetara

-Tygra

-Asgardian #1-6

-Droideka #6

All in a Pre Guild Foldspace Ship (a spaceship large enough to hold the entire team).







The Midgets are:

-Emperor Joker

-Supergirl (Ariella Kent)

-Omega Supreme

-Skywarp

-Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw., Ravage, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktak, Beastbox, , Flipside, Sunder, Holwback, Playback, Rosanna, and Stripes

-Powerglide

-The Leprechaun (w/ a yellow lantern ring)

-Smart Grimlock

-Wheelie

-Jedi Master #18B-20B, 32B-33B, and 40B

-Hare Razin Rabbit

-Deadpool

-Mr. Mizpitelik (earth 3)

-Blue Devil

-Magneto

-(Age of Apocalypse) Cyclops (w/ red lantern ring)

-Space Usagi Yojimbo (w/ double bladed red lightsaber)

-Richie Rich


In an unanimous vote of 4 to 0......

Consortium: Week 4

The Royal Highness Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy

The Royal Highness is:

Mogo (9 deaths) -95
The Astronomer
The Collector
The Contemplator
The Explorer (Marvel Elders of the Universe) - 4@210

The Ideon (Manga) -60

Metron (DC) -45

Silver Racer w/Green Lantern ring (Amalgam) -37

Chriselon (DC) -34

Romat Ru (DC) -38

Yellow Lantern Fatality (DC) -37

Nova w/Xandarian Worldmind (Richard Rider) -33

Nova (Sam Alexander) -33

Gladiator (Shi'ar Imperial Guard) -26

Astro-Boy (Manga) -20

The Maker (Reed Richards) -25 and R-2 Unit #11-(6pts) in A-wing


Team Sleeping Pussy is:


The Starjammers: Corsair Summers--60
The Starjammers: Hepzibah
The Starjammers: Raza Longknife (w/ green lightsaber)
The Starjammers: Ch'od
The Starjammers: Cr'eee
Dark Beast--30
Dave Bowman: The Starchild--55
Gay Alan Scott--29
Ultron--36
Skrull #s 37-42 54
Skrull #s 43-44 1n
Skrull #s 45-50 54
Droid Fighter Ship #13--35
Droid Fighter Ship #14--35
Cenobite #s 1-3 45
Xenomorph #s 5-8 120
Bullseye--28 (w/ red lightsaber)
Dash Rendar & Leebo--18 (both / 9 deaths)
Savage Dragon--20
Ambrose Chase--35
Miracle Dog--28
-w/ The Starjammer's Ship, An Imperial Shuttle, and an A-Wing

In an unanimous vote of 5 to 0....

Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Gross Pooper Star Miley Cyrus and Soon to be Supreme Court Justice Barack Obama's Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos

Real Man's Rabble Rousers are Black Lantern Sunstorm, Slugslinger and Caliburst, Flywheels, Trigger Happy, Bluestreak, Non, Tiffany: The Bride of Chucky (w/ star sapphire ring), Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man, Baby Pac Man, Kryptonian Army Soldier #13-16, 19-20, The Anti-Monitor, Star Sapphire Wonder Woman, Red Lantern Mera, Turbo, Odd Job, Goldfnger, Darth Nihl, CIA Agent: Bryan Mills, and Vampire Count Dooku.

The Commandos are Iorek Byrninson, Lyra Belacqua w/ Pantalamion, Will Perry w/ Kirjava, Olivia Moore, Clairy Fray, Dora, Boots, Backpack, The Map, Katy Perry, Hannah Montana, The Mikaelson Family, Martian Manhunter, Faora, Ewok Child #9, Human Bomb, Dark Phoneix, Zombie Nichol Valdez, Thanos, Sin Eater, Foolkiller, Equinox, Grimlock Prime Rex (w/ the Autobot Matrix of Leadership), The 2002 Detroit Red Wings, Doozer #9, Boil-Over Becks, and The Space Jockey, all in a Cybertronian Spaceship.


Sup y'all!!!!!! How we doin?!!? This is your homeboy The Neon Master Pogo comin atcha for some Week 1 Action!! This ripped out piece of notebook paper that Joshatu the Stuffy gave me says Week 4; but that crap must be a typo. Cuz I know they didn't start the season without the Pogester taking the reins. Although it did seem like the other watchers lost my phone number or something for a while there, and my paychecks do keep bouncing... But either way let's get to some Week whatever it is SPACE ACTION!!

It always seems like so much fun to be on The Commandos. Especially at the beginning of the match. They have a nice big ship to party in. Everybody is laughing and carrying on. They are drinking egg nog even though it isn't Christmas and it looks like some people are playing yahtzee in the corner. Not the Red Wings though, ya see they have their own private rink right here on the spaceship. They run free clinics for those that want to learn, and play pick up games against all comers (all in fun of course). Sure, there are a few sticks in the mud like Thanos and Sin Eater; but for the most part it is just a bunch of fun-loving liberal minded, good-looking people, hanging out, discussing climate change, Marx, and micro-aggressions when some aggressive jerk squad always has to roll up with an actual aggression (phewy).

Luckily, Dora “No Rest for the Wicked” The Explorer and Boots are up in the cockpit doing their due diligence when they spot incoming. “BOOTS!! Go warn the others, we are on full alert. The Rabble Rousers are here”.

Boots quickly moves from one side of the ship to the other, navigating through the many corridors until he is certain that the whole team prepare for battle. Beginning with Hannah Montana and ending on the other end of the ship with Foolkiller, whom they will not let get close to Hannah for obvious reasons. Boots then doubles back to the cockpit so he and Dora can mount a counter-offensive.

The Anti-Monitor, makes his presence known while he remains stationary near The Commandos Cybertrnian Spaceship; while Vampire Count Dooku, from inside Black Lantern Sunstorm does the first strafing run and, leads the Rabble Rousers in their onslaught.

Back inside the ship Clairy Fray is rallying the forces on the ground, while Dora shifts the shielding mechanisms on the ship. The Shadowhunter Clairy redraws her runes in preparation and knows that this will be her last stand. She mostly knows this, because she has nine deaths and has been largely ignored by all the watchers for the entirety of her over two season career. I mean, let's be real here. Who is going to research every obscure character that Nick insists on off-listing every year. WELL I AM DAMMIT!! YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. I, The Neon Master Pogo vow to not only focus on Clairy Fray today and make her a cornerstone of this story; but to also heavily research and include every young adult book character, TV show character, retired athlete, barely famous kid of actors, or reality TV star that Nick plays. Because dammit he deserves to have these characters written. So while I watch Clairy Fray rile up the troops with her young and naive yet driven personality, I am going to grab this pen and paper and sign a contract to always include the characters that Nick and others request or draft off list, because gol-darn-it those are the characters they want to read about most. OH CRAP!! MY PAPER!! A hole was blown in the side of the ship by Slugslinger and Caliburst and my pen and paper were just sucked out of the airlock..... Along with the entire Mikaelson Family, Olivia Moore, Lyra Belacqua, Will Perry, and their daemons....... IT'S CRAZY how that happens.

Prolly they will use some amazing power to save themselv..... Oh, nope they just got eaten by Pac-Man and his wife and kid. Too bad.

Anyways........

With the hull of the ship breached and the oxygen wavering all hell is breaking loose. It's pretty much like that scene from Airplane where the topless chick with the big boobs jumps on the screen for no reason, accept in this scenario the topless crazy chick is Miley Cyrus.... And it's disgusting.

So, the alien: Black Lantern Sunstorm bursts through the chest of The Space Jockey, even though he was just sitting in a really big chair minding his own business.

Slugslinger and Caliburst were just crushed together by Grimlock who said something new and original like: “Me Grimlock crush you”. Flywheels and Trigger Happy tried to avenge them; but Grimlock just got all crushy on those two too.

As you may have guessed, Human Bomb blew up, and he took Bluestreak with him.

Non and Faora started fighting like Kryptonians always do; but it wasn't as fun as usual because neither of them have a S on their chest or look like Dean Cain. They have the same exact powers; but obviously Non was winning because he's a boy and Faora is a girl (it's science). But then the scales were tipped in Faora's favor when Martian Manhunter joined the fight. Non was then killed once the two of them over-powered him with power that was over his.

Clairy Fray pulled out her white magical lightsaber thing and did some really cool kicks and such. She looked really pretty and tough and stuff too. Very feminine, yet very strong at the same time. A truly great character, who I know a ton about. Don't think I just exhausted all my knowledge on her just now. I could write so much more, it's not even funny. So she totally cut the crap out of The Bride of Chucky and then still had time to call her vampire friend who isn't her boyfriend on her cell phone and text her boyfriend, who is her brother but not really her brother.

Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man, and Baby Pac Man decided to get in a contest to see who could shove the most hot dogs in their mouths with Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus. Naturally, Katy and Miley won by a significant margin so the Pac family went in suicided themselves out of shame.

Ewok Child #9 was riding on the back of Iorek Byrninson as they valiantly attacked the entire group of Kryptonian Army Soldiers and then promptly died.

Thanos led a contingent of Dark Phoenix, Sin Eater, Martian Manhunter, and Faora out of the ship to battle The Anti-Monitor. It looked like it was gonna be pretty scary; so I stayed inside.

Star Sapphire Wonder Woman killed Zombie Nichol with death.

Red Lantern Mera stepped on Doozer #9. Boil Over Becks then got a funny feeling in his pants as soon as he saw Mera in her crustacean bikini. It was unstoppable. She asked if he wanted her to take him to the doctor; but he died of dehydration before she could.

Mera and Wonder Woman then went to watch the Red Wings practice. They went nuts waiving banners and consuming popcorn and draft beer. The Red Wings then went out with the two of them afterwards, and bought them Miller Lites on special along with shots of Fireball then took them to a cheap Motel room and cheated on their wives with them. It was fun. Then Wonder Woman and Mera killed them all, because this still is a match; but at least they have the story.

Turbo, everybody's favorite Go-Bot ran over Equinox, to prove that Go-bots were equally as cool as Transformers........ Good luck with that Turbo.

Foolkiller shot Goldfinger and then Odd Job hit Foolkiller in the neck with his hat. Clairy Fray in all her awesomeness then leapt out and stabbed Odd Job before he could catch his hat. As the hat came back, she deflected it with her light blade thing and sent it in to the head of Darth Nihl, before Bryan Mills eventually used his particular skills to send a bullet into Clairy and send the epic Commando to the graveyard once and for all.

Grimlock is taking aim at Sunstorm; but can't seem to hit him when Dora and Boots leap out from the rafters and grab onto the bottom of Sunstorm. “maybe we can draw him into Grimlock's line of fire” Dora yells.

“WE CAN DO IT DORA” Replies Boots.

“Boots, can you reach inside backpack, I have a charge in there”?? Says Dora.

Boots then holds on to the bottom of the ship with his his tail, reaches into backpack, grabs the charge, gives it to Dora, and Dora throws it into the side wing panel of Sunstorm. It throws him off course just long enough for Dora and Boots to let go and yell: “Grimlock: NOW”. Grimlock takes aim and blast him out of the sky blowing up the decepticon and forcing Dooku to eject. Dooku flips out on to the ground and lands directly in front of Dora and Boots. “Well, child. You thought you could play with the big kids, ehh”. Says Dooku as he opens his crimson lightsaber and begins slowly walking towards Dora and Boots.

Dora opens up Backpack and grabs her and Boots lightsabers out, which are then immediately ignited. Dora looks terrified as her and her monkey best friend slowly back up into a nearby corridor, matching. Dooku step for step on his approach. “Child, do you honestly think you and your monkey can match my saber techniques”?? Asks Dooku.

Dora retorts: “No sir.... I never thought that for a second...... BOOTS DUCK” As she screams this they both duck as the corridors laser defense system kicks on and blasts Dooku to pieces. Boots laughs as Dora says: “I did think I could get you to walk right into flesh-being detention block though”.

As the Kryptonians and deputy lanterns rush back out of the ship to help the Anti-Monitor, the battle still rages on outside. The Commandos have managed to keep the Kryptonians at bay; and eventually take them out one by one; but it has become apparent that The Anti-Monitor is not going to go down without something drastic happening. Especially once Thanos was blown apart by The Anti-Monitor. Martian Manhunter had devised a plan that he knew would work but with heavy casualties. The last surviving Martian flew back to the Cybertronian ship, into the cockpit and took control. He gave the order to anybody who could get out to do so; but when Grimlock and his wife Katy attempted to eject, they were destroyed by Mera and Wonder Woman right before those two were finally blasted to pieces by Faora's heat vision. Miley Cyrus would have been with them; but she heard that Republicans were for anti-biotics; so she in turn became against anti-biotics. This made her promptly die of syphilis.

Manhunter pilots the ship directly over top of The Anti-Monitor who looks up at it defiantly and without fear, which brings the Anti-Monitor and Dark Phoenix within way too close of proximity to one another. A fight nobody can walk away from, even the ones powerful enough to be in it. As the few members of the Real Men remain stuck on the ship scramble; Dora and Boots calmly set charges to overload the reactor core on the ship.

Dora says: “Pick a comfy spot to die Boots, looks like we're going down with the ship”

“Actually, I was about to fly out here, I'm not big on fire”. Says Martian Manhunter to interrupt.

Manhunter takes them under his arms and they get as far away as they can from the void as it opens and closes with the huge display of wasted cosmic power.

Beckerman's Backyardigans:Beeyatches Vs. The Moist Mafia

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are General Zod, Zombie Surtur, Black Lantern Terrax, Vampire Guy Gardner, Beta Ray Bill, Black Lantern Magog, Firestorm (Jason Rusch), White Lantern/Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner, Rao, Lord Helspont, Quasar, Black Lantern Mephisto, The New gods: Uggha, Lightray, Bekka, Shadowfall, and Hyalt, and Morpheus (w/ Hal Jordan's green lantern ring).

The Moist Mafia is Doomed, White Lantern Abin Sur, The Crayola Crew: Yellow and Orange Lantern Hal Jordan, Red and Star Sapphire Guy Gardner, Indigo John Stewart, and Blue Kyle Rayner (w/ Ion's green lantern ring), Saranak Natu, Eternity, Cybertronian Guardian #9 (Cuddles), Princess Leia (w/ a blue lightsaber) in her Stealth X-Wing, Colonel Bircher (w/ red lantern ring), The Seacons, Nezzar the Calculator, Manhunter #3 (Centra), and El Gaucho.


After the self-destruction and dispersion of The Horsemen of Apokolips last season, it could be argued that no team name in all of Fantasy Fantasy strikes fear into the hearts of its foes more than Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches. A name that technically transcends two franchises, yet has had powerhouse teams with unparalleled success in both cases. And with a three and zero start to this season the members of the newly rebranded Moist Mafia are definitely feeling the pressure (it's like feeling the Bern without having to pretend to not be a communist). Although it is The Moist Mafia who is playing with the home field advantage if you will. Not because of a large vehicle or stationary area; but because the match takes place within Eternity: as does everything. Eternity is ever-present. Both made visible on an enormous scale for the purposes of this match, but also surrounding all things both physical and non-physical. All matter, anti-matter, dark matter, doesn't matter it is all part of Eternity.

With no vehicles played by either team, and no base of operations to speak of for either the action starts rather quickly.......

Nezzar the Calculator flies over to the only member of his squad that he could even remotely consider his equal, let alone a being of power greater than his own in Eternity and speaks in a tongue so ancient that even the oldest beings born to this universe could not possibly fathom (but don't worry, I'm an all powerful Watcher, and would be happy to translate for you). Nezzar informs Eternity that after his perfect series of calculations was completed it showed virtually no chance of their squad defeating The Backyardigans. Eternity, knowing that he as a being is not long for this plain of existence comes to the conclusion that he must take matters into his own hands. Nezzar seemed certain that most of the other squad could be taken out by him with nothing more than his base Celestial abilities; but that the New gods offered the largest threat. Eternity ascertains that Nezzar is correct and takes his calculations a step further even. The being who has existed on this level since the beginning of time itself takes just slightly over an earth second to undue this very same fabric. As Eternity welcomes the attacks of the New gods and allows himself to be destroyed here in this existence to pave the way for the next one, he makes sure that Bekka, Uggha, Lightray, Shadowfall, and Hyalt all make the journey with him. Several others among The B-3 squad attempt to fight back in defense of their newly drafted teammates; but it is to no avail. Rao, Lord Helspont, and even the fiery, demonic, undead Zombie Surtur all fall to Eternity and the mighty power of the universe.

Nezzar the Calculator, feeling quite the surge of hubris after having his plan's scholarship put into action flies into the forefront to take the remainder of the Backyardigans head on. But behold....... For not even a Celestial can calculate the true arrogance of an ancient god amongst the most powerful of the insects....
Black Lantern Mephisto and General Zod form up their troops as the Backyardigans prepare for an all out offensive surge on The Moist Mafia, while conversation stirs among the cosmic empowered humans on the Mafia squad.

“What the hell is going on Hal”?? Asks Guy Gardner with his dorky artist buddy Kyle and his super solid and extra cool black friend John listening in.

“The ring is telling me that, Eternity made a final play to take out some of their heavy hitters and that Nezzar seems to think he has got this in the bag”. Hal responds.

“This is folly” throws in Abin Sur.

“That wall of cosmic baddies rushing in, sure doesn't look like something not to worry about”. Soranak Natu says to finish the conversation.

Nezzar holds out front at the ready, when The Backyardigans stop short of the floating battleground. The squad meticulously takes their positions and then Zod screams “NOW”!!

While I, the almighty Watcher: Joshatu the Remarkable ignore the fact that one cannot scream in space, I stand awestruck at the sheer show of force by the B-3 squad. They unleash hell on the mighty Celestial from all angles; but it is not the plethora of cosmic blasts that does him in. As every atom of the super-reinforced cosmic metal body of Nezzar fights to combat energy from every angle Zod flies in like a rocket a blasts his body straight through the neck of Nezzar severing it from the rest of his enormous body. The Backyardigans attack the open wounds of both parts in order to drain every bit of life from the Celestial and once they do they waste no time regrouping for the remainder of the fight. “Finish the rest, clean up the scraps” is the only order Zod gives to his squad as all hell breaks loose in the system.

NOW FOR THE REAL BATTLE......

Zod seems to be on a roll when it comes to wrecking big, metal, cosmic dudes as he makes short work of the enormous (though not quite Celestial-sized) Cybertronian Guardian, whom The Moist Mafia's previous owner lovingly named Cuddles. The Omega Supreme clone has his arm blow off by a healthy does of heat visions, before Zod goes in for the kill with his fists. Pounding the Transformer's circuits until his spark extinguishes.

Black Lantern Terrax floats at the ready with his black-lanternized-axe gripped tightly, when Doomed, in a super-angsty, emo-fueled, yet still powerful teenage rage leaps off an asteroid in his direction. The axe of the former Galactus herald does little more than enrage Doomed further, who then rips Terrax in half.

Princess Leia, from inside her stealth X-Wing flies in to the fray in an attempt to scout an attack pattern on Black Lantern Mephisto, who is growing in size, and seemingly power by the minute as he absorbs the cosmic energy and death all around him. She swoops in with relative grace (but let's face it, she is no Luke or Wedge Antilles). Her focus is on Mephisto as she flies in an X-pattern stealthily in her stealth X-Wing; but the true stealth comes from Vampire Guy Gardner who flies in from behind lands on the back of the ship, rips off the top hatch and then pulls Leia out. As Leia struggles to breathe in the cold of space the undead Gardner bites in to her neck and sucks out every drop of blood.

Beta Ray Bill's face may look goofy, but his actions make him look indistinguishable from the super-handsome regular Thor when easily uses his hammer to bust through the center of Centra the Manhunter.

While the Crayola crew and the rest of the Moist Mafia lanterns form up and stick together, Colonel Bircher, the wielder of a red ring leads the six Seacons in against Black-lantern Mephisto, who is surrounded Black-lantern Magog and Quasar. Col. Bircher gives the order for The Seacons to merge to form Piranhacon and they do with Nautilator taking the form of the gestalts projectile weapon. Black Lantern Magog is taken off guard as he is hit with a powerful blast from the Decepticon, who then follows up the laser blast with an enormous metal foot to the face of the black-lanternized Kingdom Come villain. Colonel Bircher tries to match the performance of her partner Piranhacon by letting her rage take control of her actions. She spews a large clump of red energy vomit at Quasar; but the wielder of the Quantum bands easily dodges the red energy, then doubles back and hits Bircher with enough of a cosmic blast to blow her apart. As the still merged Seacons fly in towards Mephisto, their attack is ceased before it begins as Mephisto blasts Piranhacon with a hellish fiery blast that destroys the gestalt's combined spark as well as their six individual ones.

Morpheus, aided by Hal Jordan's old green lantern ring flies over to El Gaucho who is little more than stationary floating in his space suit. El Gaucho attempts to mount a defensive with some sort of non-bat, yet bat-derived weapon; but Morpheus does some green aured kung fu stuff and jacks the Batman Inc. dude up pretty good. Unfortunately for Morpheus, after using the green lantern ring of Hal's, the man, though a member of the other team and the ring become aware of each other and the ring abandons Morpheus for this yellow and orange ring wielding version of him. Morpheus begins to squirm as he is left to the rigors of space unprotected when he is mercifully killed off by a rude comment from Gardner, and a energy blast from Stewart. Firestorm and Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner fly in to the mix right at each others side. I mean RIGHT next to each other. I think they are actually holding hands. I mean, I'm not saying anything about their sexuality or preference. I am just making an observation (I'm a Watcher, not a judger). Abin Sur and Soranak Natu, work rather well together for two would be enemies. They surround and flank Firestorm and use their yellow and white rings to bring new life to his fear (whatever the hell that means).... Either way Firestorm died. The Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner begins to muster what power he can and send it off into the proper directions; but he finds quickly that despite having decent control of the full spectrum ring, he still cannot control the entire spectrum as good as four well trained lanterns working together in unison. The Crayola Crew put their powers together and destroy this Rayner incarnation.

Zod gathers his forces for the final push and rallies around Black Lantern Mephisto along with Vampire Gardner, Quasar, and Beta Ray Bill. Only Doomed and the lanterns Sur, Jordan, Gardner, Stewart, Rayner, and Natu remain for the Moist Mafia. Though at the moment, Hal Jordan seems to be missing from the battle sequence and Doomed is currently throwing a fit and busting apart asteroids while making it very clear that he has no intention of being a team player. As the Backyardigans form up, Gardner flies up to Stewart and says: “I have a plan to take out Mephisto that Hal, Abin, and Kyle are not gonna like; but I know Saranak is down”. Gardner explains the plan as Mephisto continues to grow with evil energy. Guy Gardner turns and begins to blast their own teammate Doomed with enough red energy to enrage even a room full of dope smoking monks, while Sorank Natu uses his yellow ring to slam the lifeless metal body of Piranhacon into Doomed. John Stewart then uses his Indigo ring to take control of the lantern fueld clump and shoots it like a projectile through the demonic blackened heart of Mephisto. Just then, Hal Jordan comes flying in; but not by his own volition, instead he is inside of Leia's Stealth X-Wing. His stolen green ring providing it with a protective aura, his yellow ring increasing the weaponry, and his orange ring giving it even more speed.

“I thought this thing would come in handy. Now it's a long shot guys, but let's see what we can do” Hal yells as a rallying cry to the other lanterns.

Hal Jordan in his X-Wing and Zod zip around the stars in an impressive dog fight, while Gardner and Vampire Gardner ignore the fact that they have powers and begin fist brawling as if they just rolled out of the bar. White Lantern Abin Sur is able to absorb the Quantum blasts from Quasar, reprocess them, and send them back through the spectrum in order to overload the quantum bands and kill Quasar, while John, Kyle, and Saranak Natu team up to take on Beta Ray Bill. Bill fights through the cosmic blasts and sends his hammer right through the face of Kyle Rayner with a throw. He then takes what is left of Rayner's body and uses it as a weapon to Babe Ruth Saranak Natu into the next Solar System; but while Beta Ray Bill spins back from his attack still awaiting the return of his hammer, John Stewart strikes. He envelops an aura around the hammer and which when combined with the power of Thor blows Beta Ray to bits as he goes to grab it out of the anti-matter. Stewart's victory is short-lived as Zod rushes in with vengeance and double claps Stewart's head to crush his skull despite his protective aura. Regular Guy Gardner gets tired of the fight after almost getting bit by his vampire self and creates a red lantern blade construct and uses it to slice off the dome of Vamp Gardner. White Lantern Abin Sur is the next victim of Zod's as he burns through the white energy and the man himself with a potent blast of heat vision that could even melt the steel in the twin towers (which everybody knows is impossible, just ask Michael Moore). Gardner, the only other survivor flies to the wing of Jordan's X-Wing thinking that there is no possible way to beat this Kryptonian when it comes to their attention that none of the rings from the match have flown away to seek other bearers. They are all simply hovering around Hal and Guy. With that thought in mind, Guy Gardner begins blasting Zod with everything he can muster from his two rings while Hal Jordan siphons what energy he can from the surrounding rings and sets a collision course for Zod in his ship. With the X-Wing pumped full of Lantern power, Hal ejects mere seconds before it collides with Zod creating an explosion that flings the only two living characters off into the distance.