UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXXIII

Beard Street and Lisbon. . .

The Fantastic Four face Ymir and the Genie.  Sandman comes to the scene.

Sandman:  Can I join in?

Human Torch:  From Frightful Four to Fantastic Five; step right in.

Ymir sees the fifth member of the Royal Highness ready to join the fray.

Ymir:  I don’t think so!

Ymir freezes Sandman is place.  The Genie flies to his enemy and snaps his fingers.  Sandman shatters in hundreds of frozen pieces; dead.

The Thing approaches Ymir in his Anti-Galactus suit.  The two begin to pummel one another.  Meanwhile, Reed Richards tinkers with his ultimate nullifier. He looks up, having accomplished his task and fires at the Genie. The blue behemoth screams and is ripped apart.  Reed Richards looks to his wife.

Richards:  Sue!  I need you to assist Ben! 

There is a glazed look on the Invisible Woman’s face.

Richards:  Sue!  Sue, I need to to help Ben!

The Invisible Woman looks to Reed with a look of both pain and regret.

Richards:  Sue?

Loki materializes and is seen pulling a spear from the Invisible Woman’s back.  The Invisible Woman falls to the ground.

Human Torch:  No!!!

The Human Torch instantly reacts and begins to shoot mountains of flame at the Asgardian.  Loki smiles as he waves off the fire and becomes invisible.

Ymir ultimately is able to topple the Thing in his protective suit.  Ymir, nonetheless, freezes it in place.  The Thing jumps out of the suit.

The Thing:  Don’t need a suit to take you on, giant!

Ymir launches a frosty attack on the rocky hero.  Ymir manages to freeze his enemy, as he did before.  This time, Loki in the Genie’s place and stead, smashes their team’s foe into pieces.  Pebbles remain where the Thing once stood.

Richards and the Torch combine their forces against the frost giant.  The Human Torch unleashes a fury of subatomic, sun-like blasts.  Ymir bellows and looks to Richards.  Richards lowers the nullifier after a few additional adjustments are made.

Richards:  This is for Sue and Ben.

Richards fires his weapon and Ymir is blasted apart.  Loki stands hidden and slowly walks away from the scene, hoping to regroup with his team in an attempt to annihilate the remaining two.

UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXXII

St. Antoine and E. Lafayette. . . Greektown

The weapon’s beam rushes from the chamber.  Batman whispers to himself, noting that although fired, his apparatus did not directly find its mark.  The projectile streams at the enemy trio.  Darth Shemalyah notices the glint in Batman’s location even before his is able to fire his weapon and grips her Sith lavarok, which suddenly becomes hard in her hand.  The beam shatters the staff.  The Sith Lord points to the opponent’s location and her acolytes immediately ignite their red lightsabers and stand before their master.

Batman:  Damn.

Old Man Logan:  More than damn, Batman.  Look!

Shemalyah raises both of her arms and carries herself along with Brek Nyram and Nik Landsoh in the air, using the Force.  They are readying themselves against the Royal Highness duo.

Old Man Logan:  We need to leave.  Now!

Batman:  We need to make a stand.  This weapon is our only chance against her!  We are not leaving!

Old Man Logan unsheathes his claws.

Old Man Logan:  Okay, bub.  We’re not leaving.

UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXXI

Avery and Calumet Street. . .

Crocodile Dundee ignites Darth Nihilus’ red lightsaber.  He stands ready for his enemy.  Robin (Jason Todd) ignites his blue lightsaber.

Todd:  Ready, old man.

Dundee:  Crikey!  Gonna’ teach ya’ to respect ya’ eldahs!

As the two begin a dance with their lightsabers, Tony the Tiger faces Elderly Bruce Wayne.  The immense feline lashes out at the old man, who manages to dodge certain death in the form of Tony’s claws.  Tony gnashes his teeth and Wayne begins to run away, thinking of a strategy to take down the cat.  As he turns a corner he runs into an immense web construct. Bruce Wayne is caught.

Doppleganger:  My, my, I’ve caught a fly.

Wayne lights the mini torch in his gloves and begins to cut the webbing.  He is almost free when Doppleganger reaches the man.  Doppleganger holds Wayne’s head between his hands.

Doppleganger:  Only one way to win this battle. . . you’ve got to get ahead of the game.

With his ironic musing, Doppleganger rips Elderly Bruce Wayne’s head off and throws it to his growling teammate.  Tony begins to tear into the skull of Wayne.  Doppleganger jumps to the ground and before he can join his brother-in-arms, a blinking pod clings to his leg.  Doppleganger looks down and then looks up.  Batman Beyond waves at his enemy.  The blinking ceases and click is heard.  Doppleganger is decimated as the bomb explodes.  Tony the Tiger bathes in the blood and becomes frenzied.  Batman Beyond skirts away and notices his teammate still battling the enemy.

Todd continues to fight Dundee.  Although a master acrobatic wonder, Todd is unable to gain the upper hand and the Aussie holds his own.  As the duo’s clashing sabers echo throughout the area, Dundee screams.  He twists his head to see a bat-a-rang embedded in his back.  Batman Beyond waves.  The distraction is effective and Todd cuts Dundee in half.  Batman Beyond reaches for the lightsaber.  The futuristic Batman and second Robin face Tony the Tiger.  The Tiger leaps onto Batman Beyond as he attempts to maul the caped crusader, he is met by both lightsabers.  Tony is mortally wounded, his tongue falling from his jaw and a final spasm is seen as his last breath is completed. 

UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXX

St. Antoine and E. Lafayette. . . Greektown

Atop the casino, Batman is prone, holding his weapon.  Old Man Logan watches his head coach focus on the targets.

Old Man Logan:  Are you sure this is going to work?

Batman:  My deductive skills have confirmed that we have no other choice.  Even their Sith abilities will fail to realize they are within my sights before it is too late; that is the power of the crystal and the weapon. 

Old Man Logan does not respond; he simply grins. 

Batman locates Darth Shemalyah, Nik Landsoh and Brek Nyram on the street area below.  He breathes in.  He firmly places his finger on the trigger.  He releases his breath and fires.

UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXIX

Beard Street and Lisbon. . .

The Wicked Witch of the West swings her devil lance while the Genie cackles hysterically.

Genie:  We’re going to kick some serious butt, you and I.  A witch.  A genie.  What chance does anyone have against the two of us?

Jadis:  I’d say a pretty good chance, fool.

W3 and the Genie look to see Jadis the White Witch standing with Morgan LeFey, who is holding Voldemort’s wand at the ready.  Both W3 and the Genie take to the air, W3 on her broom, hoping to gain an expected advantage by using their abilities to fly.  W3 uses her devil lance to come down on LeFey, who blocks the weapon with a spell.  The Genie lands and morphs into a blue polar bear, standing before Jadis.

Genie:  Bet you’re not used to your bears blue!

Genie races toward her and is struck by a spell.  The blue ursus shrugs the casting without much trouble.

LeFey shouts to Jadis: Looks like they’re going to be more trouble than we thought!  Switch up! 

Jadis then begins to battle W3, while the Genie fights against LeFey.  Jadis swirls her hands above her head and a storming cloud of snow surrounds its master.  The White Witch flicks her spell above W3, who is still flying on her broom.  LeFey sees her sister’s frozen cloud looming above W3 and casts another spell.  The icy weather becomes a streaming mound of water, swallowing W3 within.  W3 screams.  She begins to melt and her broom smashes against the ground, riderless now as W3 perishes.

The Genie morphs into a blue monstrosity, looking to crush and disembowel both Jadis and LeFey.  The two manage to miraculously fight Genie to a standstill.

LeFey:  Why has the air gotten colder.

Jadis:  That’s not me. . .

Ymir rushes to the scene.

Ymir: Correct, that is me.

The frost giant freezes the air around LeFey, who is unable to elicit a spell from either her mouth, or Voldemort’s wand, as the world around her is now subzero temperature.  LeFey’s skin begins to freeze and turn black.  She whispers a small scream as she falls to the ground.  LeFey’s eyes turn glassy and her body is heard cracking as she hits the street.

Jadis:  Giant, I am in my element now!

Ymir:  You may be in your element, but I. AM. THE. ELEMENT.

Ymir and Jadis fight for only a short time before the Genie enters the skirmish.  The Genie and Ymir are too much for Jadis, who is eventually killed by the duo.

The Fantastic Four come to the scene, looking at the giants, one of white, one of blue, looming above.

The Thing: It’s clobberin’ time!

UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXVIII

South Street and South Waterman. . .

Wedge Antilles continues to soar above the steel monstrosities in the city region in his hobbled Resistance X-Wing. He targets his enemy’s remaining ship.  Taking a strafing run, Wedge repeatedly fires upon the Alliance Medical Frigate.  Explosions are seen across the ship.  A green blur is seen shooting out of the ship.  Mike Greenwell barely escapes sure death by using his green lantern ring.  He tosses the pump away from his nether region and pulls up his pants.

Greenwell:  Now I’m ready!

Greenwell focuses on the interrupter of pleasure and flies toward Wedge.  Wedge easily careens out of Greenwell’s path and fires upon the Highness General Manager. 

Greenwell:  Good try, Antilles, but not good enough!

Greenwell is about to attack the fighter when suddenly he is ripped from the sky and hurtled to the ground.  Greenwell crashes at the feet of Xorn.  Greenwell shrugs off the dizziness and ignites his lightsaber.  Xorn utilizes both his magnetism and electrical manipulation abilities and rips into Greenwell.  Greenwell screams in agony.  Xorn then creates a black hole from his sun, swallowing Greenwell.  As Greenwell is sucked into nothingness and his death, he shouts!

Greenwell:  I shall have my revenge, mother#%ker!  I shall have my revenge!!!

Xorn picks up the green lantern ring and green lightsaber held by his fallen enemy.  He places the ring on his finger and ignites the lightsaber.  Xorn smiles to himself.  The mutant turns, only to be pummeled by Ronan the Accuser.  A battle ensues as the two titans fight against one another.  Ronan gains the upper hand, when suddenly Xorn is taken by surprise and is torn apart by Molecule Man.

With the death of Xorn, Molecule Man and Ronan look for other game and notice the X-Wing above.  It is only a matter of moments before Wedge Antilles and his ship become a ball of metal and flesh combined.  R5-D4 screams as it and its master are destroyed.  With the death of Xorn, Molecule Man and Ronan look for other game

UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXVII

Campus Marcellus. . .

Morgan Le Fey and Jadis the White Witch walk aboard the Alliance Medical Frigate, which is currently stationed on the ground.

Le Fey:  We need to obtain the necessary supplies so we can treat immediately – both through magic and medicine.

Jadis:  Where is the storage space?

Le Fey:  Right through this door.

The door opens and the two women’s jaws drop.  They see their General Manager, sans pants, near an apparatus.

Greenwell:  Oh sh#t!  Hey, gals.  I was just testing the pump out.  Making sure everything was in order in triage.

Jadis:  You were testing the pump. . . with your penis?

Greenwell:  What other way is there to test a pump?

The two women shake their heads and walk from the room, disgusted.

Greenwell:  What!?!?  I was just testing the pump!!!  What’s wrong with that!?!?

UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXXVI

Middle Street and Clifford Street. . .

    
Each team devises a strategy tailored to the strengths of their surviving rosters. The combatants move together in specific hordes and scatter throughout the city’s landscape.

Zorro and King Richard slowly traipse down an alleyway.  Richard draws his sword from the scabbard hitched to his belt, while Zorro ignites his blue lightsaber. 

King Richard:  I doth look for a skirmish to imbed my blade!

Zorro:  As do I, amigo.

Batgirl and Kid Omega jump off of a ledge above.

Batgirl: You have your wish. . . you mean hombres!

Batgirl throws a bat-a-rang that is swatted away by Zorro’s blade.  Kid Omega unleashes a psionic blast at King Richard, throwing the monarch across the way and into a pile of trash.

Kid Omega:  That’s where all Kings belong - in the trash.

King Richard slowly rises from the rubbish, a bit discombobulated.

King Richard raises his sword again.

King Richard: Beast!  How dare you!  I am King Richard!  I have conquered your metal birds by flying through the clouds in battle!  I have ruled kingdoms!  I have. . .

Kid Omega creates his psionic shotgun and blasts King Richard, causing a gaping hole through his chest.  Kid Omega walks to the body of his enemy.

Kid Omega: . . . just cr#pped your pants, you dead a$$hole.

Meanwhile, Batgirl and Zorro fight one another, neither gaining the upper hand. 

Batgirl:  Could use a little help here.

Kid Omega:  You sure?

Batgirl:  I’m sure.

Kid Omega: My pleasure.  Formation alpha five.

Batgirl reacts and does a backflip, kicking her feet outward and catching Zorro in the face.  A stunned Zorro loses his lightsaber and is then blasted by Kid Omega.  Zorro falls to the ground, dead.

Batgirl:  Thanks for the assist.

Kid Omega mockingly bows as one would to royalty.  The two laugh.