The Horsemen of Apokolips are Sith Lord #13 & 14, & Roadbuster.
The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, & Pegasus.
Roadbuster, in his heavily armored ORV mode is easily blazing thru the old mountain trails of The Eternian Mountains with the 2 beautiful Apokolips bred female Sith Lords Darth Dark & Darth Seed inside. Meanwhile The Right Wing has decided to stick to the air with Silver Surfer blazing the skies and Duncan Idaho atop Pegasus not far behind. Darth Dark senses something and orders her team to take a defensive posture. The Sith Lords jump out and Roadbuster transforms into robot mode. Seconds later it becomes obvious to The Horsemen Squad why The Sith Master foresaw danger when Silver Surfer blasts right thru the Transformer in the blink of an eye blasting him into pieces without even slowing down. Darth Seed makes an amazing jump onto the back of Pegasus and tries to stick her lightsaber into the heart of Duncan Idaho but the Sith Lord underestimates the reflexes of The Ginaz Swordmaster who dodges out of the way of the crimson blade. The blade then goes into the back of the head of Pegasus killing the beautiful specimen, whose blood sprays all over the Sith Lord (later causing the birth of one of The Horsemen’s newest members). The two combatants then fall off of the horse and barely land on a rock ledge where they regain their composure. Darth Seed attempts to blast The Atreides hero with Sith Lightning but he switches his personal Holtzman shield on just in the nick of time. Duncan Idaho then switches the shield off out of fear of what might happen if the shield were to make contact with a lightsaber, not knowing if it could trigger an atomic level reaction. He then dodges the swing of Lord Seed’s lightsaber and quickly slices the throat of the Sith Lord with his Atreides dagger. Silver Surfer flies back around and squares off with Lord Dark. The Sith Lord attempts to force push her opponent off of his surf board but Silver Surfer holds on as if it were a mere wind gust. The Surfer then shoots an incredible amount of cosmic energy in the direction of Darth Dark who is successful in blocking it for a short time until she is over-powered and destroyed by the former herald of Galactus.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Legion of Doom
Team Sleeping Pussy is Kilowag, Master Mold, & Brainiac.
The Legion of Doom is Allosaurus # 11& 12, Dilophosaurus # 1& 2, & Linus Van Pelt.
The battle of the brains begins as Brainiac and his superior intellect square off against the philosophically perfect mind of Linus Van Pelt. The two of them peacefully approach each other and sit down on two rocks to begin there conversation on the esoteric ramifications of four extinct creatures fighting for their lives against super-powered beings when the imposing figure of Master Mold lands his menacing body in front of the two Allosauruses. Master Mold brings a well-placed double fist down on the neck of Allosaurus #12 killing it, but in a shocking move the other Allosaurus, whether it be from the fierce instinct to protect it’s mate or out of shear luck puts its powerful jaws right thru the neck of the larger Master Mold which sends metal shrapnel thru the head of the dinosaur but also severs the head of the huge sentinel from its body, killing both competitors at once. “See, violence is not always the answer” Linus says to Brainiac as he clutches his blue blanket. Kilowag then flies in front of the two Dilophosaurs as they are struggling to gain a good foothold on the mountain. Kilowag easily blasts the rocks out from under one of the dinosaurs causing it to plummet to its death while he puts a green energy net around the other and simply pulls it over the vast nothingness off the side of the mountain peak. Kilowag then flies over to where Brainiac and his adversary are in a heated conversation about Plutonic & Socratic differences and the path to Nirvana thru non-violence when Brainiac simply gives up. He admits his defeat in the heated conversation (not an argument, because you can’t really argue with a child holding a blanket (trust me, I know)). Brainiac then grabs Linus’ blanket which Linus refuses to let go of even as the frustrated Brainiac throws it into the Eternian mountain crevice saying “who needs intelligence when I can do this”.
TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!
The Legion of Doom is Allosaurus # 11& 12, Dilophosaurus # 1& 2, & Linus Van Pelt.
The battle of the brains begins as Brainiac and his superior intellect square off against the philosophically perfect mind of Linus Van Pelt. The two of them peacefully approach each other and sit down on two rocks to begin there conversation on the esoteric ramifications of four extinct creatures fighting for their lives against super-powered beings when the imposing figure of Master Mold lands his menacing body in front of the two Allosauruses. Master Mold brings a well-placed double fist down on the neck of Allosaurus #12 killing it, but in a shocking move the other Allosaurus, whether it be from the fierce instinct to protect it’s mate or out of shear luck puts its powerful jaws right thru the neck of the larger Master Mold which sends metal shrapnel thru the head of the dinosaur but also severs the head of the huge sentinel from its body, killing both competitors at once. “See, violence is not always the answer” Linus says to Brainiac as he clutches his blue blanket. Kilowag then flies in front of the two Dilophosaurs as they are struggling to gain a good foothold on the mountain. Kilowag easily blasts the rocks out from under one of the dinosaurs causing it to plummet to its death while he puts a green energy net around the other and simply pulls it over the vast nothingness off the side of the mountain peak. Kilowag then flies over to where Brainiac and his adversary are in a heated conversation about Plutonic & Socratic differences and the path to Nirvana thru non-violence when Brainiac simply gives up. He admits his defeat in the heated conversation (not an argument, because you can’t really argue with a child holding a blanket (trust me, I know)). Brainiac then grabs Linus’ blanket which Linus refuses to let go of even as the frustrated Brainiac throws it into the Eternian mountain crevice saying “who needs intelligence when I can do this”.
TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Built Ford Tough vs George Washington's Slaves
Built Ford Tough is USAgent, Jack Ryan, Solid Snake, Fantastic Max, A.B., & F.X.
George Washington's Slaves are Stinkor, Fidel Castro, Jerry Seinfeld, George Castanza, Elaine Benus, Cosmo Kramer, Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Dave Seville, Andy of Mayberry w/ Barney, Ryan Burke, Ron Jeremy, Crimmell, & Wesley Willis.
George Washington’s Slaves are teleported to the center of Eternos City where Ryan Burke is shot right between the eyes and falls dead in the street. Ron Jeremy and Sheriff Andy Taylor are both cut in half by a vibranium shield that boomerangs through the air. “I mean what’s going on with all these deaths?” asks Jerry Seinfeld moments before the mysterious sniper shoots him. Fidel Castro shouts “¡Bueno, todos ustedes! Rápido me sigue detrás de este edificio. ¡Nosotros no perdemos esta batalla!” (loosely translated from Spanish; “Ok, all of you! Quick follow me behind this building. We are not losing this battle!”) They run behind a sheltering building where Crimmell immediately tries to break into. Barney Fife stops him (being the upstanding law enforcement officer that he is) and they both return to their team. Built Ford Tough team comes out from their secure post and charges for an attack. Solid Snake and USAgent have already formed a tight bond and rip through the Slaves. They kill George, Elaine, Kramer and David Seville in a vicious manner. Jack Ryan is laid out with a head butt courtesy of Wesley Willis. “Rock over London! Rock on Chicago! Geico. So easy even a caveman can do it,” says Wesley Willis right before he then bashes Jack Ryan’s head in with his keyboard. Then he, along with Crimmell (who was trying to pick Jack Ryan’s pocket) is riddled with bullets by Solid Snake. The Chipmunks are ferociously clawing at Fantastic Max, F.X. and A.B. and are starting to get ahead in this little battle. But then, F.X. shouts “Rock and Roll” as he spins his antennas around to create a giant dog that eats all three Chipmunks. Unfortunately it also eats A.B. “Dirty diapers! Exclaims Fantastic Max. “No, really. It smells like dirty diapers out here.” Which is because Stinkor is standing behind them. The foul odor causes Max and F.X. to be paralyzed right where they are. They are about to be crushed by Stinkor’s shield but USAgent leaps over and decapitates the evil skunk-man with his shield. The odd duo of Fidel Castro and Barney Fife are only able to survive for a few moments more, as Solid Snake sneaks up and slices both of their throats.
BUILT FORD TOUGH IS VICTORIOUS!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons
Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches are Uruk Hai #1-8 & Skrull #1.
The Abomitrons are Hancock, Blade, Ax-battler, & Ewok #47.
Although Skrull #1 knows that he is by far the smartest member of his team, the 8 Uruk Hai have no desire to listen to him. This fits perfectly because after seeing how they react to one another, he has even less desire to argue with them. Hancock and the rest of the Abomitrons stand high above their opponents, looking down on them as the orc band +1 methodically marches their way up the mountainside. Ax-battler looks over at his two new teammates who he has just been thrust into battle with and says “Friends, it shall be an honor to shed blood by your side”. He then puts his broadsword into his left hand and offers his right hand in friendship. First Blade then Hancock accept this familiar meeting ritual and then Ewok #47 attempts to shake his hand as well but Ax-battler snaps at him by saying “I’ve known you for a year fur ball”. “So I see this guy is as smart as he is tall” Hancock says about the ewok. He then finds out quickly that he is surrounded by people with no sense of humor as the joke completely bombs. As the fighting Uruk Hai approach; Blade tries to come up with a battle plan but Ax-battler foolishly runs in and attacks on his own. The barbarian warrior quickly kills Uruk Hai #3 & 7, but their comrades avenge him as they team up on the warrior and tear him apart. “Let’s make this quick” Hancock says to Blade as he flies in and grabs Uruk Hai #1 & 4 by their necks and then uses their heads as weapons to bludgeon Skrull #1, while he is simultaneously kicking Uruk Hai #8 off of the mountain. Blade quickly moves in with his sword and relieves Uruk Hai #2 of his arm. He then makes short work of both Uruk Hai #5 & 6 with one elegant swing of his sword. He begins to resheath the weapon when he hears something behind him. The League rookie is almost taken off guard by the one-armed Uruk Hai #2, who has picked up a nearby weapon when Ewok #47 jumps onto the Uruk’s back and sticks his spear into his neck. Blade helps the ewok up and says “You aren’t so bad after all… teammate”.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Abomitrons are Hancock, Blade, Ax-battler, & Ewok #47.
Although Skrull #1 knows that he is by far the smartest member of his team, the 8 Uruk Hai have no desire to listen to him. This fits perfectly because after seeing how they react to one another, he has even less desire to argue with them. Hancock and the rest of the Abomitrons stand high above their opponents, looking down on them as the orc band +1 methodically marches their way up the mountainside. Ax-battler looks over at his two new teammates who he has just been thrust into battle with and says “Friends, it shall be an honor to shed blood by your side”. He then puts his broadsword into his left hand and offers his right hand in friendship. First Blade then Hancock accept this familiar meeting ritual and then Ewok #47 attempts to shake his hand as well but Ax-battler snaps at him by saying “I’ve known you for a year fur ball”. “So I see this guy is as smart as he is tall” Hancock says about the ewok. He then finds out quickly that he is surrounded by people with no sense of humor as the joke completely bombs. As the fighting Uruk Hai approach; Blade tries to come up with a battle plan but Ax-battler foolishly runs in and attacks on his own. The barbarian warrior quickly kills Uruk Hai #3 & 7, but their comrades avenge him as they team up on the warrior and tear him apart. “Let’s make this quick” Hancock says to Blade as he flies in and grabs Uruk Hai #1 & 4 by their necks and then uses their heads as weapons to bludgeon Skrull #1, while he is simultaneously kicking Uruk Hai #8 off of the mountain. Blade quickly moves in with his sword and relieves Uruk Hai #2 of his arm. He then makes short work of both Uruk Hai #5 & 6 with one elegant swing of his sword. He begins to resheath the weapon when he hears something behind him. The League rookie is almost taken off guard by the one-armed Uruk Hai #2, who has picked up a nearby weapon when Ewok #47 jumps onto the Uruk’s back and sticks his spear into his neck. Blade helps the ewok up and says “You aren’t so bad after all… teammate”.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Donkey Kong, Jenna Jameson, Dark Jedi Master #31 & 32, & Battle Droid #1-6.
The Syracuse Valley is Megatron, Starscream, Moritani Soldier #1, Hammer Bros. #1, & Little Goomba #2.
Megatron and Starscream land on the top of Eternia’s highest peak next to the rest of their team and look off into the distance where the Dark Jedi Masters have led their team to a spot of relative safety. A somewhat frightened Moritani Soldier turns to his brand new teammate Megatron and looks high into the air. He knows nothing of these two new teammates but he doesn’t have to be told that they outrank him despite his seniority on the team. He is about to speak when Starscream interrupts his thought pattern. “Shall we begin with an air strike Lord Megatron” Starscream asks. Megatron replies with “NO! We shall not be so biased to our own powers to think that our teammates are without any use; we shall let them begin the attack”. The bewildered non-Transformer trio of the team looks up at Megatron as he bellows downward “WELL BEGIN SOLDIER”! The Moritani soldier leads the Hammer Bros, and the slow moving goomba up and over the rocky mountainside in an attempt to sneak up on their enemies. “This place reminds me of my Grumman home world”, he tells his hammer wielding companion. The Decepticons wait patiently for hours while their teammates hide in the rock beds slowly moving towards The Kennel members, while the Dark Jedi feel confident in their fortified surroundings. Donkey Kong looms over the rest of his team, easily and quickly jumping from rock to rock with an ease and grace that is quite unbefitting his size. As the Moritani and his men finally reach their target he decides, as if on a power trip similar to that of Megatron’s only in a microcosm orders Little Goomba #2 to move in first. The Little Goomba waddles up slowly toward the base of Michael Vick’s minions, but Dark Jedi #31 notices him almost instantly. “Droids, Move In”! The master of the dark arts orders. “Roger Roger” Battle Droid #3 replies but in his haste he trips over the goomba leaving him vulnerable to attack. Battle Droid #2 quickly makes up for the mistake by blasting the goomba with his rifle. The goomba’s partners, knowing that they are revealed make their move. Hammer Bros. #1 throws a hammer into the head of the fallen droid #3 and then kills droid #1 as well. Moritani Soldier #1 busts up Battle Droid #5 on his way to slitting the throat of Jenna Jameson. Their success is short lived as Dark Jedi Master #32 beats Dark Jedi Master #31 to the honor of removing the Grumman goon’s head. While in the mean time Donkey Kong jumps down from his rock to crush Hammer Bros. #1. “Well, Lord Megatron, are you as unimpressed as I am”? “If that is how you feel Starscream than why don’t you do something impressive”? Starscream decides to answer that question with action rather than words. Starscream turns into his F-22 form and in a matter of seconds makes it to the destination it took his former teammates to reach in hours. He sends down a missile which easily takes out the remaining 3 droids but when he turns around to make another strafing run Donkey Kong jumps onto his back. The Mighty Megatron than transforms into his Cybertronian jet form and rockets toward the two force users. He quickly flips around, transforms, and then lands right in front of the Dark Masters whose red lightsabers are already drawn, yet the two of them stand their ground as if a canary had just landed in front of them. Dark Jedi Master #31 force leaps upward to attack him but with quicker reflexes than they possibly could have expected the Decepticon leader grabs the master of the dark side and crushes him in his grip. He slams a huge fist down onto the rock but DJM #32 quickly evades the attack. Meanwhile in the air Donkey Kong is slamming his mighty fists into the sides of the Transformer Jet, but Starscream continues to climb higher and higher into the sky. Once he has reached an insane altitude Starscream transforms back into robot form and simply allows himself to free fall along with the giant ape as they both seem to revel in the opportunity to trade punches with one another. Donkey Kong holds on tightly to Starscream with his left hand while he puts dents in the Decepticon with his right, but when Starscream fires his thrusters, Donkey Kong instinctively lets go for just a split second to put out his burning chest hair. Starscream then takes this opportunity to transform back into Jet form and fly away while the Video Game star plummets to his death. Dark Jedi Master #32 gets in a couple of good slices on Megatron as Starscream flies in to help his fellow Decepticon, but as Starscream is landing Megatron is able to kick the Dark Jedi into the air and then target him out of the sky with an artillery blast. Starscream lands and says to his general “I think I am going to enjoy this new universe we have just been thrust into”. Megatron replies with “For once Starscream, I agree”.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!
The Syracuse Valley is Megatron, Starscream, Moritani Soldier #1, Hammer Bros. #1, & Little Goomba #2.
Megatron and Starscream land on the top of Eternia’s highest peak next to the rest of their team and look off into the distance where the Dark Jedi Masters have led their team to a spot of relative safety. A somewhat frightened Moritani Soldier turns to his brand new teammate Megatron and looks high into the air. He knows nothing of these two new teammates but he doesn’t have to be told that they outrank him despite his seniority on the team. He is about to speak when Starscream interrupts his thought pattern. “Shall we begin with an air strike Lord Megatron” Starscream asks. Megatron replies with “NO! We shall not be so biased to our own powers to think that our teammates are without any use; we shall let them begin the attack”. The bewildered non-Transformer trio of the team looks up at Megatron as he bellows downward “WELL BEGIN SOLDIER”! The Moritani soldier leads the Hammer Bros, and the slow moving goomba up and over the rocky mountainside in an attempt to sneak up on their enemies. “This place reminds me of my Grumman home world”, he tells his hammer wielding companion. The Decepticons wait patiently for hours while their teammates hide in the rock beds slowly moving towards The Kennel members, while the Dark Jedi feel confident in their fortified surroundings. Donkey Kong looms over the rest of his team, easily and quickly jumping from rock to rock with an ease and grace that is quite unbefitting his size. As the Moritani and his men finally reach their target he decides, as if on a power trip similar to that of Megatron’s only in a microcosm orders Little Goomba #2 to move in first. The Little Goomba waddles up slowly toward the base of Michael Vick’s minions, but Dark Jedi #31 notices him almost instantly. “Droids, Move In”! The master of the dark arts orders. “Roger Roger” Battle Droid #3 replies but in his haste he trips over the goomba leaving him vulnerable to attack. Battle Droid #2 quickly makes up for the mistake by blasting the goomba with his rifle. The goomba’s partners, knowing that they are revealed make their move. Hammer Bros. #1 throws a hammer into the head of the fallen droid #3 and then kills droid #1 as well. Moritani Soldier #1 busts up Battle Droid #5 on his way to slitting the throat of Jenna Jameson. Their success is short lived as Dark Jedi Master #32 beats Dark Jedi Master #31 to the honor of removing the Grumman goon’s head. While in the mean time Donkey Kong jumps down from his rock to crush Hammer Bros. #1. “Well, Lord Megatron, are you as unimpressed as I am”? “If that is how you feel Starscream than why don’t you do something impressive”? Starscream decides to answer that question with action rather than words. Starscream turns into his F-22 form and in a matter of seconds makes it to the destination it took his former teammates to reach in hours. He sends down a missile which easily takes out the remaining 3 droids but when he turns around to make another strafing run Donkey Kong jumps onto his back. The Mighty Megatron than transforms into his Cybertronian jet form and rockets toward the two force users. He quickly flips around, transforms, and then lands right in front of the Dark Masters whose red lightsabers are already drawn, yet the two of them stand their ground as if a canary had just landed in front of them. Dark Jedi Master #31 force leaps upward to attack him but with quicker reflexes than they possibly could have expected the Decepticon leader grabs the master of the dark side and crushes him in his grip. He slams a huge fist down onto the rock but DJM #32 quickly evades the attack. Meanwhile in the air Donkey Kong is slamming his mighty fists into the sides of the Transformer Jet, but Starscream continues to climb higher and higher into the sky. Once he has reached an insane altitude Starscream transforms back into robot form and simply allows himself to free fall along with the giant ape as they both seem to revel in the opportunity to trade punches with one another. Donkey Kong holds on tightly to Starscream with his left hand while he puts dents in the Decepticon with his right, but when Starscream fires his thrusters, Donkey Kong instinctively lets go for just a split second to put out his burning chest hair. Starscream then takes this opportunity to transform back into Jet form and fly away while the Video Game star plummets to his death. Dark Jedi Master #32 gets in a couple of good slices on Megatron as Starscream flies in to help his fellow Decepticon, but as Starscream is landing Megatron is able to kick the Dark Jedi into the air and then target him out of the sky with an artillery blast. Starscream lands and says to his general “I think I am going to enjoy this new universe we have just been thrust into”. Megatron replies with “For once Starscream, I agree”.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Pre-Season Match
Setting: The Mountains of Eternia
Prize: AT ST
Points: 100
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Better Than All of You Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Right Wing
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. TEAM
Built Ford Tough Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Legion of Doom
Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennellz of Lurve Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Abomitrons Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches
Prize: AT ST
Points: 100
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Better Than All of You Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Right Wing
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. TEAM
Built Ford Tough Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Legion of Doom
Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennellz of Lurve Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Abomitrons Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches
"Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos" Season Two Press Release
That was me only hours before the draft on Saturday. I was hard at work, along with my fellow team members at trying to put together the best possible draft for this season. After all is said and done though, I am happy to say that we accomplished all of our goals thus far. Not to say that there isn't room for improvement, because there always will be in my mind. Victor, Hannah and myself are still putting the final touches on our season two roster and are hoping to be completed no later then Wednesday night. We are all very much looking forward to the preseason match coming this week and wish everyone the best on what has the making's of being a very memorable second season. I would like to say "Goodluck" to everyone this season as we look forward to meeting most of you on the battlefield.
Thank you and God Bless
President Barack Obama.
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