This photograph was taken shortly prior to Danny Rand and Luke Cage's demise at the hands of TEAM in space. Evidentally Luke was defiant until the end.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Syracuse Valley vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Mi
I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 5 Match: The Syracuse Valley vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
I look into Asteroid 2B; the locker room for The Syracuse Valley. The Syracuse Valley is Soundwave with Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box, (movie) Frenzy, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, (movie) Jazz, Xenomorphs #86-99, Scooter, Crasher, Dash Rendar, Leebo, Bossk, Darth Rave (Sith Lord #4), Star Fox in an Arwing, Raiden, Kid Thunder, Master Chief, Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails, Knuckles, Nightcrawler, Baby Nightcrawler, TMNT: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, Casey Jones, Zitz, Rash, Pimple, Beavis, Butthead, Buttchunk, Venom, Rayne, Wald, Wonder Boy, Doogle, Rob Bartlett, Mr. Game and Watch, Sockpin, Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Padawan #37, Wingnut and Screwloose, Kree #1-6, Fire Bros. #1 and 2, Little Goombas #3-5, Treasure Troll #4, & Navy Sailor #60.
Sockpin: I cannot wait to get out there in space and kick some butt!
Doogle: That’s right Sock! We’re the men!!!
Leebo: I believe “doofuses” would be the proper vernacular describing your status on this team.
I then look into Asteroid which is not 2B; the locker room for The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Mighty Mouse, Mighty Mousette, Mangy Mouse, Gas Gopher, Katma Tui, Salaak, Amantia, Larvox, Ch'p, Dr. Ub'x, Green Lantern #3, Quasar, Superboy, Thundercracker, Omega Supreme, Widget, Air Zonk, Astra, Power Dump, Power Glide, Adam Warlock, Beppo, Vampire #100. Beachcomber, Smart Grimlock, Mr. Mxyzpltplk, Magneto, Toad, Hermes, Wicket W. Warrick, Wonder Man, Raichu, Capt. N, Duke, Pit, Titanus, Blue Devil, X-23, Artie and Leach, Rogue, Longshot, Psylocke, Durge and Ancient Ginaz Swordsman #1.
Warlock: Our team was specifically created by our eminent owner to destroy all others in space.
Longshot: This should be a piece of cake!
Superboy: Don’t get cocky. Speaking of . . . where’s Power Dump?
Blue Devil: In the bathroom. Hey! [shouts around the corner] Don’t forget to light a match and spray!!!
I transport the teams to an asteroid field in open space. I allow those on each team who need protective gear to have it.
The first two warriors to meet are Ancient Ginaz Swordsman #1 and Navy Sailor #60. Navy Sailor #60’s knowledge of “water” weightlessness assists him as his body adjusts to the zero gravity. Unfortunately, the Swordsman’s skills are more than a match for Sailor #60. Although the Sailor first manages to duck the slashes, Ginaz #1’s swordsmanship eventually opens the flight suit. Navy Sailor #60’s suit decompresses and he freezes to death. Wald sees his teammate die and jumps to the asteroid where the battle just took place. Wald floats and charges at the Swordsman. Ginaz #1 easily kills Wald, slicing the rodian’s head off. Master Chief spots the Ginaz from the asteroid he is stationed at. His sharp shooting skills come in handy as he presses the trigger to his rifle. Ginaz #1 takes the weapon’s projectile in the face and Ginaz #1 dies. As the Halo protagonist gets up from his position he is jumped by Hermes. With his quick reactions and godlike powers, Hermes repeatedly strikes Master Chief. Hermes stands over Master Chief, victorious and ready for the final blow. As Hermes is about to kill Master Chief, Chief pulls the pins out of his photon grenade pack. Master Chief, Hermes and the asteroid that the two are on, explode into a million pieces. Both Master Chief and Hermes are instantly killed by the blast.
Wicket W. Warrick meets Treasure Troll #4 on a small flotilla of rock. Wicket spears Treasure Troll #4 through the heart. Treasure Troll #4’s suit (due to the hole) jettisons him off the rock. He dies in space, his hair and stupid grin frozen in place. In response to their teammate’s death, Little Goombas #3-5 attack Wicket. Wicket manages to kill Goomba #4, but Goombas #3 and #5 kill Wicket. Air Zonk, Astra, Power Dump and Power Glide gang up on the Goombas. They eventually manage to kill both Goomba #3 and 5. The Fire Brothers #1 and 2 come to the scene. Their fireball projectiles are having trouble due to the lack of air in space. Nonetheless, the Fire Brothers manage to incinerate Astra. The sheer power of Power Dump and Power Glide is shown for all to see as they take out Fire Brothers #1 and 2.
On a nearby asteroid all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, along with Casey Jones are fighting Green Lantern #3. Green Lantern #3 sees Casey Jones coming at him with a Louisville Slugger. In response, Green Lantern #3 uses his ring to project a bat. The Lantern smashes Jones off the asteroid. Jones’ body strikes a rock nearby and he dies. The combined ninja-skills of the Turtles eventually manage to destroy the corpsman and Green Lantern #3 dies, with various ninja weapons sticking out of his body.
Doogle, Rob Bartlett and Sockpin jump from asteroid to asteroid, laughing along the way. The three meet Beppo, the Super-Monkey. The video dorks and Mr. Bartlett think the monkey looks like easy prey. Beppo, being a monkey, becomes enraged at the threat of three measly humans thinking they can take him out. Beppo lays an extremely large turd and begins to throw its poop at Doogle. Doogle screams as he becomes covered in the super-monkey doo-doo. Sockpin and Bartlett laugh. While distracted with the poop, Beppo comes upon Doogle and tears his face off. Thinking this action amusing, Beppo rushes at Sockpin. He brutalizes Sockpin by biting his feet off and ripping his arms from Sockpin’s torso. With Doogle and Sockpin dead, Bartlett jumps off the asteroid. As he flies away, he is met by Vampire #100. Vampire #100 uses her powers to overcome Bartlett. Bartlett thinks of how he is being “seduced,” just as Bella was seduced by Edward in ‘Twilight,’ only in reverse. Bartlett smiles as he knows that if he becomes a vampire, he can get as many women he wants, although he will settle for the love of his life – Fred Baker. Vampire #100, her thirst quenched, does not see Rayne floating toward her, until the stake is through its heart. Vampire #100 explodes into a cloud of dust. Rayne herself turns around and is met by Rogue. The battle is fierce, but the mutant eventually bests the vampire hunter. Rayne is killed.
Jedi Guardian #3 & Jedi Padawan #37 are standing ready for a skirmish with Durge. Durge uses all of his weapons on the Jedi. Since the Jedi are not full Masters, they are no match for the bounty hunter. Durge kills both Jedi Guardian #3 & Jedi Padawan #37. Darth Rave floats upon the asteroid, a specter of darkness. But for the lightsaber’s ignition, Durge would not have notice Rave. Rave slices through Durge’s arm. The arm reattaches itself to Durge’s body. Rave then slices and dices his enemy. Rave uses the force to scatter Durge’s remains so that they cannot recombine with one another. Pieces of Durge float throughout the field.
Mighty Mouse, Mighty Mousette, and Mangy Mouse take on the Battle Toads, Zitz, Rash and Pimple. The Toads manage to overpower Mangy Mouse, who is killed. The combined powers of the super-mice eventually manage to kill Zit, Rash and Pimple. The Lanterns Ch’p and Dr. Ub’x then face off against the Mighty Mouses. It is an epic battle of super mice against alien squirrels. Ch’p uses his ring to ensnare Mighty Mousette. Ch’p then draws the encasement inward and crushes Mighty Mousette. Enraged that his mate has been taken from him, Mighty Mouse brutally beats Ch’p to his death. Ub’x, with Mighty Mouse distracted, manages to kill Mighty Mouse with a giant ring-created trap. Mighty Mouse squeals as the trap shuts and cuts his head off.
Gas Gopher creates bubbles to trap Mr. Game and Watch. The icons float in space, encased as their mouse teammates were before them. Capt. N, Duke and Pit use this to their advantage and destroy Mr. Game and Watch while still in their bubbles. The trio then focus on Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk. The beasts battle and Duke manages to kill Buttchunk. Beavis and Butthead, miraculously light Duke on fire. The two morons scream “Fire!” repeatedly in a frenzy of ecstasy. Capt. N. and Pit, enraged at their companion’s death, snap the necks of Beavis and Butthead. Wonder Boy then comes upon Gas Gopher and kills him.
On the same asteroid (other side) Raichu tackles Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails and Knuckles. Raichu uses his electricity to fry Tails. Only focused on Tails, Sonic and Knuckles manage to beat Raichu to death. The other videogame icons on the Midgets: Capt. N, Pit, Air Zonk, Power Dump and Power Glide face off against the Valley’s icons: Sonic, Knuckles, and Wonder Boy. As the battle is about to begin, Star Fox in the Arwing flies at the battlefield and strafes the combatants. The repeated fire instantly tears apart the bodies of Capt. N, Pit, Air Zonk, Power Dump and Power Glide. Sonic, Wonder Boy and Knuckles waive to their savior. Blood then flows through space as X-23 slashes and kills them with her claws. X-23 then propels herself and reaches the Arwing. Although Star Fox tries to shake her off, X-23’s claws hold firm. X-23 manages to slash the fuel tanks. X-23 then destroys the jettison latch so that Star Fox is trapped in the vehicle. The Arwing, out of control, crashes, taking Star Fox with it.
The Star Wars trio for the Valley: Dash Rendar, Leebo, Bossk are in a fight with Wonder Man and Widget. Widget manages to disrupt the sensory intake of Leebo, who blows up. Rendar and Bossk then react and repeatedly fire upon Widget. Their accuracy and repeated attacks destroy Widget. Wonder Man then uses his superhuman abilities to kill both Rendar and Bossk.
The TMNTs come upon Blue Devil. The Devil uses his superhuman strength and powers to kill Donatello and Michelangelo. The other Turtles are forced to retreat by using their ninja abilities to float toward the next asteroid. On the asteroid they are met with Grimlock and Titanus. Leonardo and Raphael are torn apart by the mechanical monsters. Meanwhile back at the Blue Devil’s asteroid, Venom comes upon the blue superhuman and kills him. Venom then sees Mr. Mxyzptlk, floating around. Venom comes from behind and tears his limbs off. Mxyzptlk is smart, but not too smart to become a match for an alien symbiote’s ferocity.
In space, Adam Warlock meets his Kree #1-6 brethren. Warlock manages to kill Kree # 2-4. Kree #1 and # 5-6 fly away and wait for an opportunity to strike again. Warlock does not want to miss this opportunity of finishing the Kree off since he has them on the run. As Warlock is flying, he does not see Darth Rave lurking behind a small field of debris. As Warlock races toward the Kree, Rave juts his arm out and slices Warlock in half. The Kree look back and see Warlock halved by Rave. Thinking themselves safe, they fail to notice Superboy who uses his abilities to kill the remaining Kree, #1, 5-6.
Nightcrawler and Baby Nightcrawler teleport to Toad. Toad chokes Baby to death with his tongue. Nightcrawler teleports repeatedly and strikes Toad over and over until he is bloody road kill. Psylocke sees Nightcrawler, and with her psychic kitana, manages to run him through. Longshot, X-23 and Rogue join with Psylocke. Xenomorphs #86-99 come crawling out of the asteroid’s crevices and take Longshot by surprise. They quickly dispatch with Longshot. Psylocke, X-23 and Rogue, on the other hand, manage to take out and kill all of the Xenomorphs #86-99.
Titanus and Smart Grimlock find Scooter and Crasher. The Gobots are no match for the Transformers and Scooter and Crasher are easily destroyed by the mechanical beasts. Titanus and Grimlock then look to space and see Megatron and Starscream approaching. The battle is fierce, but Megatron and Starscream manage to destroy The mechanized Midgets.
Quasar, Katma Tui, Salaak, Amantia, Larvox, and Dr. Ub'x come together, using their combined cosmic and lantern powers to dispatch Raiden and Kid Thunder. They then take out Venom.
The aliens Wingnut and Screwloose focus on easy prey. It does not take long for them to kill the two mutant children, Artie and Leech. X-23, Rogue and Psylocke manage to kill Wingnut and Screwloose, but are set upon by Darth Rave. Rave duels with Psylocke and takes her head off with his lightsaber. He also manages to amputate Rogue’s left leg off. Rogue is mortally wounded, seeing the blood trickle from the wound in space. Rogue eventually bleeds out and dies. Rave is met by Superboy and Wonder Man. The Sith is no match for their combined powers and is soon killed by both.
The Valley’s Transformers come together in an all-out assault. X-23 takes out Frenzy. In retaliation, although a battle to the end, Starscream rips X-23 apart. They are met by the remaining Midget team. Beppo takes out movie Frenzy. Beachcomber joins Thundercracker in their assault on Laserbeak, Squawk Talk and Beast Box. The Midgets destroy the three. In response, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest and Soundwave destroy Thundercracker and Beachcomber. Quasar and Wonder Man then manage to destroy Buzzsaw, Soundwave with Rumble and Overkill. Megatron, Starscream and Jazz come together and with a combined effort kill Quasar and Wonder Man. Ravage, Ratbat, Slugfest, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, and (movie) Jazz then focus on the other Midget force. They manage to kill Katma Tui, Amantia, Larvox, and Dr. Ub'x.
Although outnumbered, Superboy, Magneto, Salaak, Omega Supreme and Beppo are more than a match for the remaining Valley members. A furious and epic battle rages on as Magneto, Superboy and Omega Supreme lead the charge. Megatron, Starscream and Jazz lead the charge for the Valley.
When the asteroid field’s debris rises and I am able to see again, I note:
The Syracuse Valley: All dead.
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Omega Supreme, Superboy, Magneto and Beppo survive.
THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!!!
I look into Asteroid 2B; the locker room for The Syracuse Valley. The Syracuse Valley is Soundwave with Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box, (movie) Frenzy, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, (movie) Jazz, Xenomorphs #86-99, Scooter, Crasher, Dash Rendar, Leebo, Bossk, Darth Rave (Sith Lord #4), Star Fox in an Arwing, Raiden, Kid Thunder, Master Chief, Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails, Knuckles, Nightcrawler, Baby Nightcrawler, TMNT: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, Casey Jones, Zitz, Rash, Pimple, Beavis, Butthead, Buttchunk, Venom, Rayne, Wald, Wonder Boy, Doogle, Rob Bartlett, Mr. Game and Watch, Sockpin, Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Padawan #37, Wingnut and Screwloose, Kree #1-6, Fire Bros. #1 and 2, Little Goombas #3-5, Treasure Troll #4, & Navy Sailor #60.
Sockpin: I cannot wait to get out there in space and kick some butt!
Doogle: That’s right Sock! We’re the men!!!
Leebo: I believe “doofuses” would be the proper vernacular describing your status on this team.
I then look into Asteroid which is not 2B; the locker room for The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Mighty Mouse, Mighty Mousette, Mangy Mouse, Gas Gopher, Katma Tui, Salaak, Amantia, Larvox, Ch'p, Dr. Ub'x, Green Lantern #3, Quasar, Superboy, Thundercracker, Omega Supreme, Widget, Air Zonk, Astra, Power Dump, Power Glide, Adam Warlock, Beppo, Vampire #100. Beachcomber, Smart Grimlock, Mr. Mxyzpltplk, Magneto, Toad, Hermes, Wicket W. Warrick, Wonder Man, Raichu, Capt. N, Duke, Pit, Titanus, Blue Devil, X-23, Artie and Leach, Rogue, Longshot, Psylocke, Durge and Ancient Ginaz Swordsman #1.
Warlock: Our team was specifically created by our eminent owner to destroy all others in space.
Longshot: This should be a piece of cake!
Superboy: Don’t get cocky. Speaking of . . . where’s Power Dump?
Blue Devil: In the bathroom. Hey! [shouts around the corner] Don’t forget to light a match and spray!!!
I transport the teams to an asteroid field in open space. I allow those on each team who need protective gear to have it.
The first two warriors to meet are Ancient Ginaz Swordsman #1 and Navy Sailor #60. Navy Sailor #60’s knowledge of “water” weightlessness assists him as his body adjusts to the zero gravity. Unfortunately, the Swordsman’s skills are more than a match for Sailor #60. Although the Sailor first manages to duck the slashes, Ginaz #1’s swordsmanship eventually opens the flight suit. Navy Sailor #60’s suit decompresses and he freezes to death. Wald sees his teammate die and jumps to the asteroid where the battle just took place. Wald floats and charges at the Swordsman. Ginaz #1 easily kills Wald, slicing the rodian’s head off. Master Chief spots the Ginaz from the asteroid he is stationed at. His sharp shooting skills come in handy as he presses the trigger to his rifle. Ginaz #1 takes the weapon’s projectile in the face and Ginaz #1 dies. As the Halo protagonist gets up from his position he is jumped by Hermes. With his quick reactions and godlike powers, Hermes repeatedly strikes Master Chief. Hermes stands over Master Chief, victorious and ready for the final blow. As Hermes is about to kill Master Chief, Chief pulls the pins out of his photon grenade pack. Master Chief, Hermes and the asteroid that the two are on, explode into a million pieces. Both Master Chief and Hermes are instantly killed by the blast.
Wicket W. Warrick meets Treasure Troll #4 on a small flotilla of rock. Wicket spears Treasure Troll #4 through the heart. Treasure Troll #4’s suit (due to the hole) jettisons him off the rock. He dies in space, his hair and stupid grin frozen in place. In response to their teammate’s death, Little Goombas #3-5 attack Wicket. Wicket manages to kill Goomba #4, but Goombas #3 and #5 kill Wicket. Air Zonk, Astra, Power Dump and Power Glide gang up on the Goombas. They eventually manage to kill both Goomba #3 and 5. The Fire Brothers #1 and 2 come to the scene. Their fireball projectiles are having trouble due to the lack of air in space. Nonetheless, the Fire Brothers manage to incinerate Astra. The sheer power of Power Dump and Power Glide is shown for all to see as they take out Fire Brothers #1 and 2.
On a nearby asteroid all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, along with Casey Jones are fighting Green Lantern #3. Green Lantern #3 sees Casey Jones coming at him with a Louisville Slugger. In response, Green Lantern #3 uses his ring to project a bat. The Lantern smashes Jones off the asteroid. Jones’ body strikes a rock nearby and he dies. The combined ninja-skills of the Turtles eventually manage to destroy the corpsman and Green Lantern #3 dies, with various ninja weapons sticking out of his body.
Doogle, Rob Bartlett and Sockpin jump from asteroid to asteroid, laughing along the way. The three meet Beppo, the Super-Monkey. The video dorks and Mr. Bartlett think the monkey looks like easy prey. Beppo, being a monkey, becomes enraged at the threat of three measly humans thinking they can take him out. Beppo lays an extremely large turd and begins to throw its poop at Doogle. Doogle screams as he becomes covered in the super-monkey doo-doo. Sockpin and Bartlett laugh. While distracted with the poop, Beppo comes upon Doogle and tears his face off. Thinking this action amusing, Beppo rushes at Sockpin. He brutalizes Sockpin by biting his feet off and ripping his arms from Sockpin’s torso. With Doogle and Sockpin dead, Bartlett jumps off the asteroid. As he flies away, he is met by Vampire #100. Vampire #100 uses her powers to overcome Bartlett. Bartlett thinks of how he is being “seduced,” just as Bella was seduced by Edward in ‘Twilight,’ only in reverse. Bartlett smiles as he knows that if he becomes a vampire, he can get as many women he wants, although he will settle for the love of his life – Fred Baker. Vampire #100, her thirst quenched, does not see Rayne floating toward her, until the stake is through its heart. Vampire #100 explodes into a cloud of dust. Rayne herself turns around and is met by Rogue. The battle is fierce, but the mutant eventually bests the vampire hunter. Rayne is killed.
Jedi Guardian #3 & Jedi Padawan #37 are standing ready for a skirmish with Durge. Durge uses all of his weapons on the Jedi. Since the Jedi are not full Masters, they are no match for the bounty hunter. Durge kills both Jedi Guardian #3 & Jedi Padawan #37. Darth Rave floats upon the asteroid, a specter of darkness. But for the lightsaber’s ignition, Durge would not have notice Rave. Rave slices through Durge’s arm. The arm reattaches itself to Durge’s body. Rave then slices and dices his enemy. Rave uses the force to scatter Durge’s remains so that they cannot recombine with one another. Pieces of Durge float throughout the field.
Mighty Mouse, Mighty Mousette, and Mangy Mouse take on the Battle Toads, Zitz, Rash and Pimple. The Toads manage to overpower Mangy Mouse, who is killed. The combined powers of the super-mice eventually manage to kill Zit, Rash and Pimple. The Lanterns Ch’p and Dr. Ub’x then face off against the Mighty Mouses. It is an epic battle of super mice against alien squirrels. Ch’p uses his ring to ensnare Mighty Mousette. Ch’p then draws the encasement inward and crushes Mighty Mousette. Enraged that his mate has been taken from him, Mighty Mouse brutally beats Ch’p to his death. Ub’x, with Mighty Mouse distracted, manages to kill Mighty Mouse with a giant ring-created trap. Mighty Mouse squeals as the trap shuts and cuts his head off.
Gas Gopher creates bubbles to trap Mr. Game and Watch. The icons float in space, encased as their mouse teammates were before them. Capt. N, Duke and Pit use this to their advantage and destroy Mr. Game and Watch while still in their bubbles. The trio then focus on Beavis, Butthead and Buttchunk. The beasts battle and Duke manages to kill Buttchunk. Beavis and Butthead, miraculously light Duke on fire. The two morons scream “Fire!” repeatedly in a frenzy of ecstasy. Capt. N. and Pit, enraged at their companion’s death, snap the necks of Beavis and Butthead. Wonder Boy then comes upon Gas Gopher and kills him.
On the same asteroid (other side) Raichu tackles Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails and Knuckles. Raichu uses his electricity to fry Tails. Only focused on Tails, Sonic and Knuckles manage to beat Raichu to death. The other videogame icons on the Midgets: Capt. N, Pit, Air Zonk, Power Dump and Power Glide face off against the Valley’s icons: Sonic, Knuckles, and Wonder Boy. As the battle is about to begin, Star Fox in the Arwing flies at the battlefield and strafes the combatants. The repeated fire instantly tears apart the bodies of Capt. N, Pit, Air Zonk, Power Dump and Power Glide. Sonic, Wonder Boy and Knuckles waive to their savior. Blood then flows through space as X-23 slashes and kills them with her claws. X-23 then propels herself and reaches the Arwing. Although Star Fox tries to shake her off, X-23’s claws hold firm. X-23 manages to slash the fuel tanks. X-23 then destroys the jettison latch so that Star Fox is trapped in the vehicle. The Arwing, out of control, crashes, taking Star Fox with it.
The Star Wars trio for the Valley: Dash Rendar, Leebo, Bossk are in a fight with Wonder Man and Widget. Widget manages to disrupt the sensory intake of Leebo, who blows up. Rendar and Bossk then react and repeatedly fire upon Widget. Their accuracy and repeated attacks destroy Widget. Wonder Man then uses his superhuman abilities to kill both Rendar and Bossk.
The TMNTs come upon Blue Devil. The Devil uses his superhuman strength and powers to kill Donatello and Michelangelo. The other Turtles are forced to retreat by using their ninja abilities to float toward the next asteroid. On the asteroid they are met with Grimlock and Titanus. Leonardo and Raphael are torn apart by the mechanical monsters. Meanwhile back at the Blue Devil’s asteroid, Venom comes upon the blue superhuman and kills him. Venom then sees Mr. Mxyzptlk, floating around. Venom comes from behind and tears his limbs off. Mxyzptlk is smart, but not too smart to become a match for an alien symbiote’s ferocity.
In space, Adam Warlock meets his Kree #1-6 brethren. Warlock manages to kill Kree # 2-4. Kree #1 and # 5-6 fly away and wait for an opportunity to strike again. Warlock does not want to miss this opportunity of finishing the Kree off since he has them on the run. As Warlock is flying, he does not see Darth Rave lurking behind a small field of debris. As Warlock races toward the Kree, Rave juts his arm out and slices Warlock in half. The Kree look back and see Warlock halved by Rave. Thinking themselves safe, they fail to notice Superboy who uses his abilities to kill the remaining Kree, #1, 5-6.
Nightcrawler and Baby Nightcrawler teleport to Toad. Toad chokes Baby to death with his tongue. Nightcrawler teleports repeatedly and strikes Toad over and over until he is bloody road kill. Psylocke sees Nightcrawler, and with her psychic kitana, manages to run him through. Longshot, X-23 and Rogue join with Psylocke. Xenomorphs #86-99 come crawling out of the asteroid’s crevices and take Longshot by surprise. They quickly dispatch with Longshot. Psylocke, X-23 and Rogue, on the other hand, manage to take out and kill all of the Xenomorphs #86-99.
Titanus and Smart Grimlock find Scooter and Crasher. The Gobots are no match for the Transformers and Scooter and Crasher are easily destroyed by the mechanical beasts. Titanus and Grimlock then look to space and see Megatron and Starscream approaching. The battle is fierce, but Megatron and Starscream manage to destroy The mechanized Midgets.
Quasar, Katma Tui, Salaak, Amantia, Larvox, and Dr. Ub'x come together, using their combined cosmic and lantern powers to dispatch Raiden and Kid Thunder. They then take out Venom.
The aliens Wingnut and Screwloose focus on easy prey. It does not take long for them to kill the two mutant children, Artie and Leech. X-23, Rogue and Psylocke manage to kill Wingnut and Screwloose, but are set upon by Darth Rave. Rave duels with Psylocke and takes her head off with his lightsaber. He also manages to amputate Rogue’s left leg off. Rogue is mortally wounded, seeing the blood trickle from the wound in space. Rogue eventually bleeds out and dies. Rave is met by Superboy and Wonder Man. The Sith is no match for their combined powers and is soon killed by both.
The Valley’s Transformers come together in an all-out assault. X-23 takes out Frenzy. In retaliation, although a battle to the end, Starscream rips X-23 apart. They are met by the remaining Midget team. Beppo takes out movie Frenzy. Beachcomber joins Thundercracker in their assault on Laserbeak, Squawk Talk and Beast Box. The Midgets destroy the three. In response, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest and Soundwave destroy Thundercracker and Beachcomber. Quasar and Wonder Man then manage to destroy Buzzsaw, Soundwave with Rumble and Overkill. Megatron, Starscream and Jazz come together and with a combined effort kill Quasar and Wonder Man. Ravage, Ratbat, Slugfest, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, and (movie) Jazz then focus on the other Midget force. They manage to kill Katma Tui, Amantia, Larvox, and Dr. Ub'x.
Although outnumbered, Superboy, Magneto, Salaak, Omega Supreme and Beppo are more than a match for the remaining Valley members. A furious and epic battle rages on as Magneto, Superboy and Omega Supreme lead the charge. Megatron, Starscream and Jazz lead the charge for the Valley.
When the asteroid field’s debris rises and I am able to see again, I note:
The Syracuse Valley: All dead.
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Omega Supreme, Superboy, Magneto and Beppo survive.
THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Point Rules
Over the last 2 seasons the various point variations, discounts, & rules have been talked about extensively in both big groups and in one on one conversations, but have never been officially posted. When teams are sent in, I always try to search out bonuses and discounts for everyone, which I will continue to do; but if you know them in advance it could possibly help you out some more. I am always willing to help out anyone, so please call me if you ever have any questions. Also, if all of this strikes you as to labor intensive, and/or you simply wish to ignore it, then you can feel free and I will continue to keep an eye out for possible discounts for you. Here are some of the major rules that many of you already know.
-When you play 5 commons you get the 6th one for free. An example of this is: A Storm Trooper's cost is 5, so you can play 6 of them for 25 points. This works, even if all of the characters played are not commons. Ex: If you were to play Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Ki Adi Mundi, & Shaak Ti; you have just played 5 Jedi Masters, so if you have a common Jedi on your team, you could play him for free.
-The Team discount. When you play 5 characters from the same "team" you can subtract 3 points from the total. For each additional character after the first 5 you can take off another 3 points (Not including previousely discounted groups such as The Original X-Men, or Transformer Gestalts). Examples of such teams are The X-Men, The Avengers, The Justice League, The Teen Titans, The Legion of Super Heroes, The Autobots, or The Decepticons (I may have left some out).
-The Side kick rule. If you play any character's side kick along with him/her than you can take off 5 points. This transcends just simply comic books, other characters that count as side kicks are a Jedi and their Padawan, A Sith Lord, and their Sith Apprentice, or even a character that was once a side kick and is no longer. For example NightWing would still be considered Batman's sidekick.
-Rapport. A few characters have been given rapport with each other. This is simply subtracting 2 points when they are played together. This happens for reunited partners (such as Nite Owl & Rorschach) or married couples (such as Storm & Black Panther). In a few instances, it has even been given to unrelated characters, who throughout a season have worked so well together that they are now given a discount (such as Legolas & Green Arrow and Santa Claus & Corbin Dallas).
I am not sure if this post will help to clarify some of these nuances or simply make things even more complicated, but either way they really should be posted on the blog somewhere. Again if you ever have any questions or comments please do not refrain from giving me a call.
Thanks
-Josh
-When you play 5 commons you get the 6th one for free. An example of this is: A Storm Trooper's cost is 5, so you can play 6 of them for 25 points. This works, even if all of the characters played are not commons. Ex: If you were to play Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Ki Adi Mundi, & Shaak Ti; you have just played 5 Jedi Masters, so if you have a common Jedi on your team, you could play him for free.
-The Team discount. When you play 5 characters from the same "team" you can subtract 3 points from the total. For each additional character after the first 5 you can take off another 3 points (Not including previousely discounted groups such as The Original X-Men, or Transformer Gestalts). Examples of such teams are The X-Men, The Avengers, The Justice League, The Teen Titans, The Legion of Super Heroes, The Autobots, or The Decepticons (I may have left some out).
-The Side kick rule. If you play any character's side kick along with him/her than you can take off 5 points. This transcends just simply comic books, other characters that count as side kicks are a Jedi and their Padawan, A Sith Lord, and their Sith Apprentice, or even a character that was once a side kick and is no longer. For example NightWing would still be considered Batman's sidekick.
-Rapport. A few characters have been given rapport with each other. This is simply subtracting 2 points when they are played together. This happens for reunited partners (such as Nite Owl & Rorschach) or married couples (such as Storm & Black Panther). In a few instances, it has even been given to unrelated characters, who throughout a season have worked so well together that they are now given a discount (such as Legolas & Green Arrow and Santa Claus & Corbin Dallas).
I am not sure if this post will help to clarify some of these nuances or simply make things even more complicated, but either way they really should be posted on the blog somewhere. Again if you ever have any questions or comments please do not refrain from giving me a call.
Thanks
-Josh
TEAM Vs. Built Ford Tough
TEAM is Unicron, Voltron, Neo-Cymek #1-20, Samus, Nyobi, Cypher, Space Ghost, Jan, Jace, Blip, Galvatron, Iron Hide, (movie) Iron Hide, Mirage, Ultra Magnus, Jazz, Hot Rod, Arcee, War Path, Alpha Trion, Wreck-Gar, Junkeon #11, Sith Lord #6, & Blaster w/ Rewind, Eject, Steeljaw, Ramhorn, Raindance, & Grandslam.
Built Ford Tough is Beta Ray Bill, Capt. Jack Harkness, Power Man, Iron Fist, Star Sapphire, Grapple, Andrew Jackson Libby, The Doctor, John Lennon, Paul Mcartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, Aslan, Wilt, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Ancient Sith Lord #8-13, Mandalorian #1-4, Failed Jedi #1-10, Sardakaur #1-12, The Flaming Carrot, Strong Guy, & Diego w/ Baby Jaguar.
As the 2 teams are transported to the edge of The Milky Way, just past the planet Pluto (yes I still consider it a planet) Beta Ray Bill quickly rallies his troops. “Aye, I realize that we have precious little time to prepare against the power house that awaits us, and that we have few resources to transport our lesser beings but we must form together and move quickly if we are to be victorious”. Fantastic Max replies with “Well, we can handle the transporting of some of the team”. “How do you suppose to handle such a task little beardless one” Beta Ray Bill asks of him. “Like this” Max says as he grabs a hold of a small rock off of the face of the asteroid that the entire Built Ford Tough team is standing on. As he holds up the rock FX spins his ears around and yells “ROCK AND ROLL”. The rock then instantly turns into a huge spaceship which Max, FX, and AB climb into. As Max is climbing in he says to the team: “There is room for some more, come on in”. “Yes” says Bill, “we need the best among us at star ship navigation to come aboard this vessel”. “Well, I guess that means us Chewie” Han says as he and his wookie friend climb aboard. “Aye, I am still a newcomer to the human race, but any man who grows a beard over his whole body must be a worthy warrior indeed”, Beta Ray Bill says as he looks at Chewie. Andrew Jackson Libby: the mathematical genius, and The Time Lord from Gallifrey himself, The Doctor join them on the ship to lend their talents, along with the 3 Dawson’s Creek punks. The ship is about full after that, but Diego says “I will be your wing man amigos”! as he reaches behind his back and pulls out his little row boat, which only has enough room for himself and Baby Jaguar; once inside Diego pushes a button which gives the boat a clear plaz top and small jets for space travel??????? That’s possible right??? (Come on work with me people, show a little imagination). GO DIEGO GO! Aslan the Lion says to Beta Ray Bill: Lead what parts of our team away from here, it will be in your hands to defeat the looming menace that TEAM supposedly has, when in space, I will stay on the asteroid and lead the rest of our forces”. Aslan then says “ROOOAAAAAAR” which prompts Baby Jaguar to go “roooaaaar” fueling the team with pride so Beta Ray Bill says “Aye” and then Chewie was like “AHHHHHH” and Dawson scratched his chin and said “Hmmmm” and Sardakaur #3 burped and then Diego said something that wasn’t in English and all 4 Beatles yelled “Koo Koo Ka Choo”. After that epic conversation came to a close Beta Ray Bill, Fantastic Max’s crew, and Diego & Baby Jaguar fly off together so they can face the looming threat in the distance that is becoming more and more visible as the match goes on. This of course being Jan and Jace…….. No I’m just kidding, it’s Unicron. As Unicron hangs back, patiently waiting to be attacked The Voltron of the Far Universe forms out of its 5 lion parts; and leads his team of Autobots and Galvatron against the asteroid bound Built Ford Toughers. Galvatron, while free-floating in space transforms into his cannon form and targets the asteroid that Aslan’s team has made their home. Capt. Jack Harkness yells for the team to scatter which they do, Built Ford Tough only loses Sardakaur #4 in the attack but the massive blast does break the asteroid into several pieces which separates many members of the team from one another. Star Sapphire flies away, not to retreat but because she sees a looming enemy spaceship in the distance that she believes she could take out on her own if she uses the element of surprise. A dizzied Capt. Jack Harkness looks around the small asteroid fragment that he has found himself on, knowing that his leadership abilities will be needed by whoever is on there with him. He forms up his team of Strong Guy, Iron Fist and Power Man. Jack tells them to be prepared for anything but he then turns to Iron Fist to make a more intimate statement. Jack says: “You know Iron Fist, whatever happens to us in this battle today, I really want you and Luke Cage to know that I really respect you for everything you guys have stood for, for so long. If it weren’t for the 2 of you showing us all in the pages of your comic that it is okay to be gay, I’m not sure that I would have been able to be so open about it myself. You are a true icon to the homosexual and bisexual community; and I simply want you to know how much I appreciate you”. “But were not gay” Iron Fist replies. “Hey man, it’s the 21st century. Plus, after all were in space. It’s okay to admit it now”. “But were not gay” Iron Fist repeats. “Come on friend, now isn’t the time to get nervous. I know how much the 2 of you have been through, and that it must be especially hard being a part of a interracial gay pairing, but that makes you all the more iconic”. Iron Fist this time just nods his head and winks at Jack but Power Man starts to scream “Yo Brother! You do what you want in your spare time but WE AIN’T GAY”! Just then Voltron comes flying in with his sword gleaming in the space sky and brings his weapon down hard on the asteroid blasting it apart and killing Jack, Iron Fist, Power Man, & Strong Guy. The 10 failed Jedi (some of whom have been spending quite a bit of time with the Sith Lords, in the locker room) stand together while Blaster & Mirage land in front of them. The almost Jedi knights ignite their lightsabers with the belief that they should be able to take down the 2 robots despite their major size difference but they become a little less confident when Blaster ejects Rewind, Eject, Steeljaw, Ramhorn, Raindance & Grandslam (the latter 2 instantly form the mini-gestalt Slamdance). The failed Jedi move impulsively toward the Autobots but still with great agility. Failed Jedi #2, 3, & 7 surround Mirage while F.J. #6, 8, & 10 quickly slice up Slamdance, with only #8 not surviving the attack. Blaster blasts F.J. #1 & 9 while Rewind & Eject take out #4 & 5. Mirage falls after taking on many hits from his triple team but he is avenged by Ramhorn and Steeljaw who use their ramming horn and steel jaw to ram and bite Mirage’s attackers to death. FJ #6 & 10 stand alone against the 5 remaining Transformers, but they don’t stand for very long as they can not seem to block the Cybertronian blaster bolts for very long with their lightsabers. The Ancient Sith Lords and Grapple are free-floating on their own rock fragment when they are attacked by all 20 Neo-Cymeks. The 20 battle-armored space ships with human brains target the asteroid with their highly advanced weaponry, instantly taking out Grapple, Darth Taurus, Darth Bronco, and Darth Thunderbird. The remaining 3 Sith Lords leap onto Neo-Cymek #12 and begin slicing away with their lightsabers. Neo-Cymek #12 uses its mechanical claws to grab Darth Ranger, crushing the life out of the Sith Lord, but Darth Focus manages to blast Sith lightning into the cracked cymek shell to short it out and kill its brain. Their victory is not appreciated for very long though, as the explosion of the dead Neo-Cymek, along with the blasts from the other 19 kill both Darth Focus and Darth Mustang. The 11 Sardakaur stand ready as they are attacked by Samus, Nyobi, Cypher, & Darth Fuzzy. Darth Fuzzy ignites his crimson lightsaber and flies angrily into battle, taking out both Sardakaur #5 & 8. The other Sardakaur take note of the Sith’s fighting style and overwhelm him with their numbers, slitting his throat with their Imperial issue knives. Nyobi and Cypher move in together with Nyobi instantly taking out Sardakaur #1 & 3 with some B.A. kung Fu. Cypher uses his glock to take out Sardakaur #12, but Sardakaur #11 uses his shigawire hair strand to slit the computer-enhanced fighter’s throat. Samus turns into a ball and plants some quick bombs to take out Sardakaur #2, while Nyobi kicks the head off of Sardakaur #11, before she is overcome by the attacks of #7, 9, & 10. Samus freeze rays Sardakaur #7 but is knocked to the ground by Sardakaur #9. The Sardakaur are about to gang up on Samus but she shoots 2 of the terror troops (#9 & 10) with her fully charged hand cannon, taking out not only them, but also the frozen Sardakaur #7. Sardakaur #6 dodges this attack and then uses his maula pistol to shoot Samus right between the eyes. Star Sapphire flies up behind Space Ghost’s ship and uses her violet energy powers to blast the roof right off. The 4 tenants of the ship emerge ready to fight but she easily blows away both Jan and Jace. Blip then gets in Star Sapphire’s hair to distract her, which gives the host with the most just enough time to press the middle button on his right arm and heat blast her to death. The Beatles may be known for their many platinum records but they are quickly and easily galvanized as the Decepticon leader blasts all 4 of them with his laser cannon form. The 2 Iron Hides transform into their robot form to do battle with The Flaming Carrot. The Flaming Carrot unleashes his tornado in a can at the 2 Autobots of the same name, but they are able to hold on. The Flaming Carrot then jumps on to the shoulder of (movie) Iron Hide and sticks a plunger on his face. The Carrot then pulls off part of his face and throws his atomic pogo stick in blowing the Transformer apart. An ornery and annoyed (traditional) Iron Hide then blasts the crazy hero with his laser gun. Alpha Trion along with Ultra Magnus and Jazz approach Aslan. The Autobot formerly known as A-3 approaches Aslan and begins conversing in hopes that the 2 of them can come up with a peaceful way out of this battle but they are unsuccessful. As the 2 of them decide that they must do battle Aslan quickly rips apart the old geezer of an Autobot with his teeth and claws. A weepy and whiny Ultra Magnus and Jazz then blast Aslan to pieces in retaliation for destroying their idle. The 4 highly-trained Mandalorians stand ready to do battle on their portion of the asteroid when they all of the sudden become both out-numbered and out-sized. Hot Rod, Arcee, Warpath, Wreck-Gar, & Junkeon #11 all land and instantly begin the attack. Wreck-Gar, riding on top of Junkeon #11 in his motorcycle form smash Mandalorian #1 with his weird looking wheel-axe thing while Warpath in his tank form blows away Mandalorian’s #2 & 4. Mandalorian #3 fires his jet pack and puts up quite a fight but is simply over-powered by the duo of both Arcee and Hot Rod, as Arcee knocks him out of the air and Hot Rod uses his arm blasters to finish him off. Blaster and his remaining tapes jump to the next asteroid to quintuple team Sardakaur #6 while Blip the monkey uses his tail to brutally strangle poor Wilt to death. But despite the turns of bad luck for Built Ford Tough, they still have quite a force to be reckoned with; preparing for their full frontal assault on Unicron. Inside the FX created ship Max says “dirty diapers, I can’t fly this thing by myself, who is going to be my co-pilot. “I don’t do co-piloting Han says. So why don’t me and Libby over here man the guns and Chewie can help you fly this piece of crap”. “We will need to get the ship within at least 195.73 meters of Unicron in order for our projectiles to do any damage”. “Never tell me the stats, now lets think positive” Han says back to him. “What should Dawson, Joey, & I do” asks Pacy. “Just pretend you’re back on your show and stand around being useless for 23 minutes” Han says. Which prompts Dawson to whisper in Joey’s ear “Sweet; does that mean Han Solo watches are show”. Fantastic Max as playful as ever says “We need to think of a name for our new ship”. Han jumps in with “Well, this bucket sure is hell ain’t no Millennium Falcon 2” “Than what should we call it”? The Doctor asks. “I just said it didn’t I, it’s called the Millennium Falcon 2. Chewie and me are in it aren’t we” Han says in an annoyed voice. Fantastic Max says “Oh we didn’t know that’s what you meant”. “Of course that’s I meant” Han replies sarcastically. “Impossible man” AB says under his breath. Beta Ray Bill’s booming voice then says to the 2 ships (Diego & Baby Jaguar are still following in their boat, in case you forgot) “It is time for us to fly forth and do battle with the menace known as Unicron, this day shall be a day of victory”. Beta Ray Bill flies in directly toward the head of Unicron while Fantastic Max circles around the massive Transformer planet with Libby and Han targeting him anywhere they can from the rock ships cannons. Max dodges the swing of Unicron’s hand prompting Han to say “nice flying kid, I gotta hand it to ya, I couldn’t of done it better myself”. The Doctor adds “Yeah, now lets blow this thing and go home”. “That was my line” Han yells to The Doctor who obviously took the time to watch “A New Hope” in one of his previous incarnations. “Go me go”!! Diego yells to Baby Jaguar as he accidentally crashes into the leg of Unicron blowing up his little boat. Beta Ray Bill yells “For Odin, For Asgard, For Built Ford Tough, and For the race of Korbinites”! But he is then completely fried by Unicron’s blast of fiery cosmic energy from his eyes. Han says to Max “Lets do this kid, it is now or never: Punch It”! Libby tells them that they are going to have to go full throttle if they are going to work up enough momentum to kill Unicron and The Doctor agrees. AB says in a worried tone “Ohhh Max, at that speed will you be able to pull up in time”? “It will be just like jumping out of my crib back home” the Fantastic one replies. Han and Libby get ready with the guns while Fantastic Max goes into a tailspin and is then crushed when Unicron lightly claps his hands together…… Come on guys, you didn’t really think Fantastic Max was going to kill Unicron did you?
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Built Ford Tough is Beta Ray Bill, Capt. Jack Harkness, Power Man, Iron Fist, Star Sapphire, Grapple, Andrew Jackson Libby, The Doctor, John Lennon, Paul Mcartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, Aslan, Wilt, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Ancient Sith Lord #8-13, Mandalorian #1-4, Failed Jedi #1-10, Sardakaur #1-12, The Flaming Carrot, Strong Guy, & Diego w/ Baby Jaguar.
As the 2 teams are transported to the edge of The Milky Way, just past the planet Pluto (yes I still consider it a planet) Beta Ray Bill quickly rallies his troops. “Aye, I realize that we have precious little time to prepare against the power house that awaits us, and that we have few resources to transport our lesser beings but we must form together and move quickly if we are to be victorious”. Fantastic Max replies with “Well, we can handle the transporting of some of the team”. “How do you suppose to handle such a task little beardless one” Beta Ray Bill asks of him. “Like this” Max says as he grabs a hold of a small rock off of the face of the asteroid that the entire Built Ford Tough team is standing on. As he holds up the rock FX spins his ears around and yells “ROCK AND ROLL”. The rock then instantly turns into a huge spaceship which Max, FX, and AB climb into. As Max is climbing in he says to the team: “There is room for some more, come on in”. “Yes” says Bill, “we need the best among us at star ship navigation to come aboard this vessel”. “Well, I guess that means us Chewie” Han says as he and his wookie friend climb aboard. “Aye, I am still a newcomer to the human race, but any man who grows a beard over his whole body must be a worthy warrior indeed”, Beta Ray Bill says as he looks at Chewie. Andrew Jackson Libby: the mathematical genius, and The Time Lord from Gallifrey himself, The Doctor join them on the ship to lend their talents, along with the 3 Dawson’s Creek punks. The ship is about full after that, but Diego says “I will be your wing man amigos”! as he reaches behind his back and pulls out his little row boat, which only has enough room for himself and Baby Jaguar; once inside Diego pushes a button which gives the boat a clear plaz top and small jets for space travel??????? That’s possible right??? (Come on work with me people, show a little imagination). GO DIEGO GO! Aslan the Lion says to Beta Ray Bill: Lead what parts of our team away from here, it will be in your hands to defeat the looming menace that TEAM supposedly has, when in space, I will stay on the asteroid and lead the rest of our forces”. Aslan then says “ROOOAAAAAAR” which prompts Baby Jaguar to go “roooaaaar” fueling the team with pride so Beta Ray Bill says “Aye” and then Chewie was like “AHHHHHH” and Dawson scratched his chin and said “Hmmmm” and Sardakaur #3 burped and then Diego said something that wasn’t in English and all 4 Beatles yelled “Koo Koo Ka Choo”. After that epic conversation came to a close Beta Ray Bill, Fantastic Max’s crew, and Diego & Baby Jaguar fly off together so they can face the looming threat in the distance that is becoming more and more visible as the match goes on. This of course being Jan and Jace…….. No I’m just kidding, it’s Unicron. As Unicron hangs back, patiently waiting to be attacked The Voltron of the Far Universe forms out of its 5 lion parts; and leads his team of Autobots and Galvatron against the asteroid bound Built Ford Toughers. Galvatron, while free-floating in space transforms into his cannon form and targets the asteroid that Aslan’s team has made their home. Capt. Jack Harkness yells for the team to scatter which they do, Built Ford Tough only loses Sardakaur #4 in the attack but the massive blast does break the asteroid into several pieces which separates many members of the team from one another. Star Sapphire flies away, not to retreat but because she sees a looming enemy spaceship in the distance that she believes she could take out on her own if she uses the element of surprise. A dizzied Capt. Jack Harkness looks around the small asteroid fragment that he has found himself on, knowing that his leadership abilities will be needed by whoever is on there with him. He forms up his team of Strong Guy, Iron Fist and Power Man. Jack tells them to be prepared for anything but he then turns to Iron Fist to make a more intimate statement. Jack says: “You know Iron Fist, whatever happens to us in this battle today, I really want you and Luke Cage to know that I really respect you for everything you guys have stood for, for so long. If it weren’t for the 2 of you showing us all in the pages of your comic that it is okay to be gay, I’m not sure that I would have been able to be so open about it myself. You are a true icon to the homosexual and bisexual community; and I simply want you to know how much I appreciate you”. “But were not gay” Iron Fist replies. “Hey man, it’s the 21st century. Plus, after all were in space. It’s okay to admit it now”. “But were not gay” Iron Fist repeats. “Come on friend, now isn’t the time to get nervous. I know how much the 2 of you have been through, and that it must be especially hard being a part of a interracial gay pairing, but that makes you all the more iconic”. Iron Fist this time just nods his head and winks at Jack but Power Man starts to scream “Yo Brother! You do what you want in your spare time but WE AIN’T GAY”! Just then Voltron comes flying in with his sword gleaming in the space sky and brings his weapon down hard on the asteroid blasting it apart and killing Jack, Iron Fist, Power Man, & Strong Guy. The 10 failed Jedi (some of whom have been spending quite a bit of time with the Sith Lords, in the locker room) stand together while Blaster & Mirage land in front of them. The almost Jedi knights ignite their lightsabers with the belief that they should be able to take down the 2 robots despite their major size difference but they become a little less confident when Blaster ejects Rewind, Eject, Steeljaw, Ramhorn, Raindance & Grandslam (the latter 2 instantly form the mini-gestalt Slamdance). The failed Jedi move impulsively toward the Autobots but still with great agility. Failed Jedi #2, 3, & 7 surround Mirage while F.J. #6, 8, & 10 quickly slice up Slamdance, with only #8 not surviving the attack. Blaster blasts F.J. #1 & 9 while Rewind & Eject take out #4 & 5. Mirage falls after taking on many hits from his triple team but he is avenged by Ramhorn and Steeljaw who use their ramming horn and steel jaw to ram and bite Mirage’s attackers to death. FJ #6 & 10 stand alone against the 5 remaining Transformers, but they don’t stand for very long as they can not seem to block the Cybertronian blaster bolts for very long with their lightsabers. The Ancient Sith Lords and Grapple are free-floating on their own rock fragment when they are attacked by all 20 Neo-Cymeks. The 20 battle-armored space ships with human brains target the asteroid with their highly advanced weaponry, instantly taking out Grapple, Darth Taurus, Darth Bronco, and Darth Thunderbird. The remaining 3 Sith Lords leap onto Neo-Cymek #12 and begin slicing away with their lightsabers. Neo-Cymek #12 uses its mechanical claws to grab Darth Ranger, crushing the life out of the Sith Lord, but Darth Focus manages to blast Sith lightning into the cracked cymek shell to short it out and kill its brain. Their victory is not appreciated for very long though, as the explosion of the dead Neo-Cymek, along with the blasts from the other 19 kill both Darth Focus and Darth Mustang. The 11 Sardakaur stand ready as they are attacked by Samus, Nyobi, Cypher, & Darth Fuzzy. Darth Fuzzy ignites his crimson lightsaber and flies angrily into battle, taking out both Sardakaur #5 & 8. The other Sardakaur take note of the Sith’s fighting style and overwhelm him with their numbers, slitting his throat with their Imperial issue knives. Nyobi and Cypher move in together with Nyobi instantly taking out Sardakaur #1 & 3 with some B.A. kung Fu. Cypher uses his glock to take out Sardakaur #12, but Sardakaur #11 uses his shigawire hair strand to slit the computer-enhanced fighter’s throat. Samus turns into a ball and plants some quick bombs to take out Sardakaur #2, while Nyobi kicks the head off of Sardakaur #11, before she is overcome by the attacks of #7, 9, & 10. Samus freeze rays Sardakaur #7 but is knocked to the ground by Sardakaur #9. The Sardakaur are about to gang up on Samus but she shoots 2 of the terror troops (#9 & 10) with her fully charged hand cannon, taking out not only them, but also the frozen Sardakaur #7. Sardakaur #6 dodges this attack and then uses his maula pistol to shoot Samus right between the eyes. Star Sapphire flies up behind Space Ghost’s ship and uses her violet energy powers to blast the roof right off. The 4 tenants of the ship emerge ready to fight but she easily blows away both Jan and Jace. Blip then gets in Star Sapphire’s hair to distract her, which gives the host with the most just enough time to press the middle button on his right arm and heat blast her to death. The Beatles may be known for their many platinum records but they are quickly and easily galvanized as the Decepticon leader blasts all 4 of them with his laser cannon form. The 2 Iron Hides transform into their robot form to do battle with The Flaming Carrot. The Flaming Carrot unleashes his tornado in a can at the 2 Autobots of the same name, but they are able to hold on. The Flaming Carrot then jumps on to the shoulder of (movie) Iron Hide and sticks a plunger on his face. The Carrot then pulls off part of his face and throws his atomic pogo stick in blowing the Transformer apart. An ornery and annoyed (traditional) Iron Hide then blasts the crazy hero with his laser gun. Alpha Trion along with Ultra Magnus and Jazz approach Aslan. The Autobot formerly known as A-3 approaches Aslan and begins conversing in hopes that the 2 of them can come up with a peaceful way out of this battle but they are unsuccessful. As the 2 of them decide that they must do battle Aslan quickly rips apart the old geezer of an Autobot with his teeth and claws. A weepy and whiny Ultra Magnus and Jazz then blast Aslan to pieces in retaliation for destroying their idle. The 4 highly-trained Mandalorians stand ready to do battle on their portion of the asteroid when they all of the sudden become both out-numbered and out-sized. Hot Rod, Arcee, Warpath, Wreck-Gar, & Junkeon #11 all land and instantly begin the attack. Wreck-Gar, riding on top of Junkeon #11 in his motorcycle form smash Mandalorian #1 with his weird looking wheel-axe thing while Warpath in his tank form blows away Mandalorian’s #2 & 4. Mandalorian #3 fires his jet pack and puts up quite a fight but is simply over-powered by the duo of both Arcee and Hot Rod, as Arcee knocks him out of the air and Hot Rod uses his arm blasters to finish him off. Blaster and his remaining tapes jump to the next asteroid to quintuple team Sardakaur #6 while Blip the monkey uses his tail to brutally strangle poor Wilt to death. But despite the turns of bad luck for Built Ford Tough, they still have quite a force to be reckoned with; preparing for their full frontal assault on Unicron. Inside the FX created ship Max says “dirty diapers, I can’t fly this thing by myself, who is going to be my co-pilot. “I don’t do co-piloting Han says. So why don’t me and Libby over here man the guns and Chewie can help you fly this piece of crap”. “We will need to get the ship within at least 195.73 meters of Unicron in order for our projectiles to do any damage”. “Never tell me the stats, now lets think positive” Han says back to him. “What should Dawson, Joey, & I do” asks Pacy. “Just pretend you’re back on your show and stand around being useless for 23 minutes” Han says. Which prompts Dawson to whisper in Joey’s ear “Sweet; does that mean Han Solo watches are show”. Fantastic Max as playful as ever says “We need to think of a name for our new ship”. Han jumps in with “Well, this bucket sure is hell ain’t no Millennium Falcon 2” “Than what should we call it”? The Doctor asks. “I just said it didn’t I, it’s called the Millennium Falcon 2. Chewie and me are in it aren’t we” Han says in an annoyed voice. Fantastic Max says “Oh we didn’t know that’s what you meant”. “Of course that’s I meant” Han replies sarcastically. “Impossible man” AB says under his breath. Beta Ray Bill’s booming voice then says to the 2 ships (Diego & Baby Jaguar are still following in their boat, in case you forgot) “It is time for us to fly forth and do battle with the menace known as Unicron, this day shall be a day of victory”. Beta Ray Bill flies in directly toward the head of Unicron while Fantastic Max circles around the massive Transformer planet with Libby and Han targeting him anywhere they can from the rock ships cannons. Max dodges the swing of Unicron’s hand prompting Han to say “nice flying kid, I gotta hand it to ya, I couldn’t of done it better myself”. The Doctor adds “Yeah, now lets blow this thing and go home”. “That was my line” Han yells to The Doctor who obviously took the time to watch “A New Hope” in one of his previous incarnations. “Go me go”!! Diego yells to Baby Jaguar as he accidentally crashes into the leg of Unicron blowing up his little boat. Beta Ray Bill yells “For Odin, For Asgard, For Built Ford Tough, and For the race of Korbinites”! But he is then completely fried by Unicron’s blast of fiery cosmic energy from his eyes. Han says to Max “Lets do this kid, it is now or never: Punch It”! Libby tells them that they are going to have to go full throttle if they are going to work up enough momentum to kill Unicron and The Doctor agrees. AB says in a worried tone “Ohhh Max, at that speed will you be able to pull up in time”? “It will be just like jumping out of my crib back home” the Fantastic one replies. Han and Libby get ready with the guns while Fantastic Max goes into a tailspin and is then crushed when Unicron lightly claps his hands together…… Come on guys, you didn’t really think Fantastic Max was going to kill Unicron did you?
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Bryatu's Bad
If I have offended any within the league with my previous comments- that was not my intention and I am sorry. I am on two hours of sleep and my brain is mush. . . .
I LOVE YOU ALL!
-Bryatu
I LOVE YOU ALL!
-Bryatu
Bryatu's BooBoo
To all who follow this League:
I am saddened to say that I have mistakenly posted my first Week 5 match twice. [See the two (really one) below]. I will simply admit that I have been having some computer issues as of late. Notwithstanding, I have now rectified the problem. Please do not waste your time and read both posts - since they are the same. NOT THAT YOU WOULD KNOW ANYWAY SINCE YOU GUYS NEVER POST YOUR COMMENTS - GOOD OR BAD- IN RESPONSE TO THE HARD WORK OF YOUR WATCHERS!!!!!!
-BRYATU
p.s.: I had to take the shot at some of you - especially you Team Sleeping Pussy. Sheesh! You think you know a guy after 25+ years. . . .
I am saddened to say that I have mistakenly posted my first Week 5 match twice. [See the two (really one) below]. I will simply admit that I have been having some computer issues as of late. Notwithstanding, I have now rectified the problem. Please do not waste your time and read both posts - since they are the same. NOT THAT YOU WOULD KNOW ANYWAY SINCE YOU GUYS NEVER POST YOUR COMMENTS - GOOD OR BAD- IN RESPONSE TO THE HARD WORK OF YOUR WATCHERS!!!!!!
-BRYATU
p.s.: I had to take the shot at some of you - especially you Team Sleeping Pussy. Sheesh! You think you know a guy after 25+ years. . . .
Team Sleeping Pussy vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 5 Match: Team Sleeping Pussy vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
I have transported the teams to alternate ends of a space station that lies within the Milky Way’s expanse.
I look upon the locker room of Team Sleeping Pussy. The Pussy Team is Unus the Untouchable, Dr. Manhattan, Binary, Female Sentinels #1-10, Deathbird, Roy Batty, SHIELD Agents #1-10, War Skrulls #1-5, Mothra, Brainiac, Kilowog, Ultron, Super Skrull, Mimic, Kang the Conqueror, Daryl Revoc, Kahn, Vision, Enchantress, Biff Tannen and Skrulls #23-50. In the locker room:
Skrull # 27: What the f@%k!! We’re battling a bunch of robots! How the hell is our team supposed to adapt to a bunch of frickin’ robots!
Ultron: Watch your mouth 27! Remember, we have robots too. Isn’t that right 6?
Female Sentinel #7: I’m 7. And yes to your question.
In the locker room of Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve, who are Galactus with Nova, Hrmm, Barbarossa, Ajax, Green Lanterns #1-2 and 4-5, Jade, Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E., Big Barda, Annihilus, Dr. Doomsday, Captain Atom, Fin Fang Foom, Nitro and Admiral Starship with their laser cats, (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath, Kup, Junkions #1-10, Droideka #1, Battle Droid #1 and Treasure Troll #5.
Nitro: I can’t wait to use my cat to fry some Skrulls!
Treasure Troll #5: Just watch where you point those things! Don’t want my hair to catch on fire. [Not foreshadowing].
Galactus: Enough with the idle chatter. Let us commence the battle.
I transport the teams to the middle of the space station.
As the opening salvo, Nitro and Admiral Starship, with their laser cats, meet Biff Tannen. Tannen taunts the duo.
Tannen: Get your hands out of those cats’ a@@es or I’m calling the Humane Society! Ha!
The two respond by firing their cats. Tannen is killed.
Roy Batty comes upon the scene and uses his replicant-enhanced abilities to jump over the duo. He then comes from behind and manages to crush the cats. The screeching and crackling distracts Nitro. Daryl Revoc approaches the combatants and uses his scanner powers to kill Nitro, whose head blows up.
Kahn (walks up to Admiral Starship): Admiral.
Starship: Kahn. Kahn. [Raises his hands in the air]. Kahn! KAHN!!!
Kahn (grabs Starship’s face): Goodbye Admiral.
With a quick thrust, Kahn breaks Admiral Starship’s neck.
Across the ship Deathbird flies to Treasure Troll #5. She grabs the troll in one hand and uses her other hand to inflict a horrendous torture upon the little warrior.
Deathbird: How many swipes does it get to finish off a Treasure Troll? One (cuts hair). Two (cuts more hair). Three (cuts head off). Three. [SHOUT OUT TO TOOTSIE ROLL POPS!]
SHIELD Agents #1-10 are in a firefight with Battle Droid #1 and Droideka #1. The SHIELD Agents manage to take out Battle Droid #1. Droideka #1 kills Agents #2-4, 7 and 10. Brainiac manages to utilize his superior brain and actually taps into a force stream field of the space station, which disrupts the Droideka’s shield. The SHIELD Agents then destroy Droideka #1, with Brainiac’s assistance. Barbarossa, Ajax and Hrrm come upon the combatants and rampage through the humans. The cymeks and brute kill the remaining SHIELD Agents #1, 5, 6 and 8-9. Binary and Ultron fly upon the scene with the Female Sentinels. Although Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax manage to destroy, through brute strength alone, Female Sentinels #1 and 7, the remaining Pussy warriors. destroy all three Kennelz. Thus, Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax fall in battle.
Roy Batty slowly walks down one of the ship’s hallways. He is met by Jade. Jade and Batty are evenly matched in the art of fighting. Nonetheless, Batty’s replicant strength manages to wear Jade down. Batty eventually overpowers Jade and kills her. Big Barda, avenges her teammate and with her mega-rod, crushes Batty’s skull.
There is a pitched battle taking place throughout the ship’s corridors as Kilowog and the Green Lanterns are fighting one another. Kilowog manages to take out Green Lanterns #1 and 2. Notwithstanding, as he does so, he is struck by Deathbird. Offguard, Green Lanterns #4 and #5 manage to strike Kilowog at the same time. Seeing Kilowog go down, War Skrulls #1-5 attack the Lanterns at the same time. Their enhanced abilities and powers quickly dispatch the remaining Green Lanterns, # 4 and 5.
Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E. fight Ultron. The powers of Ultron are repeatedly crushing S.T.R.I.P.E. Nonetheless, before S.T.R.I.P.E. is utterly destroyed, he manages to use the suit to destroy both himself and Ultron in the ultimate sacrificial move. Enchantress looks upon what is happening before her. She sees Big Barda flying upon the scene and uses Barda against her own teammate, Stargirl. Big Barda tussels with Stargirl. Unfortunately, Stargirl, taken by surprise that her own teammate is fighting her, is at a disadvantage and soon is killed by Barda. Enchantress releases Barda from her powers. Barda seems her teammate, killed by her own hand and crouches over her.
Barda: What have I done?
Super Skrull (comes behind Barda): You have met your superior.
Super Skrull uses his powers to destroy the protective armor of Barda and kill her. Barda is left a crushed and burnt husk.
Revoc and Kahn stealthily walk down a hallway. They open a door and are met by Scorponok and Zarak. The Transformer uses both arms, grabs the two, and rips them apart. Both Revoc’s and Kahn’s corpses hit the floor.
War Skrulls #1-5 all become Captain Atom. One Captain Atom cannot defeat five. Although Captain Atom manages to kill War Skrulls #3-5. War Skrulls #1-2 use his own abilities against him and are victorious in defeating their original template. Annihilus and Nova come upon the scene and use their combined powers to destroy the remaining War Skrulls #1 and #2.
Binary focuses on Nova. The Herald of Galactus is in a pitched battle with Binary. Mimic takes on the Super Skrull’s powers and assists Binary in her attack. The combined energy projections of Binary and Mimic’s Super Skrull powers eventually wear Nova down. Nova succumbs to the repeated assaults and dies. Galactus, infuriated that his disciple is killed, swiftly dispatches both Mimic and Binary.
The battle of the titans is taking place near the humungous generator room of the ship. Fin Fang Foom is battling Mothra. Mothra is using its powers to inflict some damage on Foom. Nonetheless, Foom’s acid mist breath is too much for the alien moth monster. Mothra is eventually killed. Female Sentinels #2-6 and #8-10 fly to the scene and overpower Fin Fang Foom. Their combined rays and weapons destroy the beast, Fin Fang Foom. Kup comes upon the scene and attempts to fight the female robot warriors. Although Kup destroys Sentinel #1, the remaining robots kill Kup. The Kennelz Transformer warriors: (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath (in bat form), and the Junkions #1-10, decide to come together. The Transformer robots manage to defeat the remaining Female Sentinels. They then focus on Skrulls #23-50. Although the Skrulls manage to destroy the Junkions #3-8, they are soon overpowered and killed. All Skrulls die. The Transformers focus their battle to Unus the Untouchable, but are unable to breach his force field. As the Transfomers are focused on Unus, Vision and Brainiac manage to take out Mindwipe and Vorath.
Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus approach Kang and Deathbird. They both fall to the amalgamated character and alternate zone villain without Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus so much as raising a sweat. Enchantress rushes at Dr. Doomsday and kisses him. She thus, takes hold of the good Dr.’s mind. Dr. Doomsday uses his enhanced strength (and energy projections) to destroy Annihilus, Lord Zarak and Cliffjumper.
Enchantress, Vision and Brainiac approach Dr. Doomsday. They will use Doomsday against his own team. Little do they recognize that Doomsday’s enhanced healing factors shrugs off the Enchantress’ power over him. Thus, the fog is lifted and Dr. Doomsday comes to his senses. He immediately strangles the Enchantress and kills Brainiac.
Super Skrull and Unus come together and place a force field around themselves and Vision. Dr. Doomsday attempts to breach the protective shell. Dr. Manhattan sees Doomsday and in super-sized form, with mere will, destroys Doomsday. The Junkions #1-10 and Sky Lynx follow Doomsday to their graves through Manhattan’s powers.
The “power cosmic” blows the Pussy’s force fields away as Super Skrull, Unus and Vision are blown to bits by Galactus. Dr. Manhattan and Galactus are in a pitched battle, but Manhattan unfortunately does not rise to the powers of Galactus. Thus, Manhattan is eventually defeated, the last Pussy to go down.
Pussies: All dead.
Kennelz: Galactus, (Beast Wars) Megatron, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorponok survive.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!!
I have transported the teams to alternate ends of a space station that lies within the Milky Way’s expanse.
I look upon the locker room of Team Sleeping Pussy. The Pussy Team is Unus the Untouchable, Dr. Manhattan, Binary, Female Sentinels #1-10, Deathbird, Roy Batty, SHIELD Agents #1-10, War Skrulls #1-5, Mothra, Brainiac, Kilowog, Ultron, Super Skrull, Mimic, Kang the Conqueror, Daryl Revoc, Kahn, Vision, Enchantress, Biff Tannen and Skrulls #23-50. In the locker room:
Skrull # 27: What the f@%k!! We’re battling a bunch of robots! How the hell is our team supposed to adapt to a bunch of frickin’ robots!
Ultron: Watch your mouth 27! Remember, we have robots too. Isn’t that right 6?
Female Sentinel #7: I’m 7. And yes to your question.
In the locker room of Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve, who are Galactus with Nova, Hrmm, Barbarossa, Ajax, Green Lanterns #1-2 and 4-5, Jade, Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E., Big Barda, Annihilus, Dr. Doomsday, Captain Atom, Fin Fang Foom, Nitro and Admiral Starship with their laser cats, (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath, Kup, Junkions #1-10, Droideka #1, Battle Droid #1 and Treasure Troll #5.
Nitro: I can’t wait to use my cat to fry some Skrulls!
Treasure Troll #5: Just watch where you point those things! Don’t want my hair to catch on fire. [Not foreshadowing].
Galactus: Enough with the idle chatter. Let us commence the battle.
I transport the teams to the middle of the space station.
As the opening salvo, Nitro and Admiral Starship, with their laser cats, meet Biff Tannen. Tannen taunts the duo.
Tannen: Get your hands out of those cats’ a@@es or I’m calling the Humane Society! Ha!
The two respond by firing their cats. Tannen is killed.
Roy Batty comes upon the scene and uses his replicant-enhanced abilities to jump over the duo. He then comes from behind and manages to crush the cats. The screeching and crackling distracts Nitro. Daryl Revoc approaches the combatants and uses his scanner powers to kill Nitro, whose head blows up.
Kahn (walks up to Admiral Starship): Admiral.
Starship: Kahn. Kahn. [Raises his hands in the air]. Kahn! KAHN!!!
Kahn (grabs Starship’s face): Goodbye Admiral.
With a quick thrust, Kahn breaks Admiral Starship’s neck.
Across the ship Deathbird flies to Treasure Troll #5. She grabs the troll in one hand and uses her other hand to inflict a horrendous torture upon the little warrior.
Deathbird: How many swipes does it get to finish off a Treasure Troll? One (cuts hair). Two (cuts more hair). Three (cuts head off). Three. [SHOUT OUT TO TOOTSIE ROLL POPS!]
SHIELD Agents #1-10 are in a firefight with Battle Droid #1 and Droideka #1. The SHIELD Agents manage to take out Battle Droid #1. Droideka #1 kills Agents #2-4, 7 and 10. Brainiac manages to utilize his superior brain and actually taps into a force stream field of the space station, which disrupts the Droideka’s shield. The SHIELD Agents then destroy Droideka #1, with Brainiac’s assistance. Barbarossa, Ajax and Hrrm come upon the combatants and rampage through the humans. The cymeks and brute kill the remaining SHIELD Agents #1, 5, 6 and 8-9. Binary and Ultron fly upon the scene with the Female Sentinels. Although Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax manage to destroy, through brute strength alone, Female Sentinels #1 and 7, the remaining Pussy warriors. destroy all three Kennelz. Thus, Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax fall in battle.
Roy Batty slowly walks down one of the ship’s hallways. He is met by Jade. Jade and Batty are evenly matched in the art of fighting. Nonetheless, Batty’s replicant strength manages to wear Jade down. Batty eventually overpowers Jade and kills her. Big Barda, avenges her teammate and with her mega-rod, crushes Batty’s skull.
There is a pitched battle taking place throughout the ship’s corridors as Kilowog and the Green Lanterns are fighting one another. Kilowog manages to take out Green Lanterns #1 and 2. Notwithstanding, as he does so, he is struck by Deathbird. Offguard, Green Lanterns #4 and #5 manage to strike Kilowog at the same time. Seeing Kilowog go down, War Skrulls #1-5 attack the Lanterns at the same time. Their enhanced abilities and powers quickly dispatch the remaining Green Lanterns, # 4 and 5.
Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E. fight Ultron. The powers of Ultron are repeatedly crushing S.T.R.I.P.E. Nonetheless, before S.T.R.I.P.E. is utterly destroyed, he manages to use the suit to destroy both himself and Ultron in the ultimate sacrificial move. Enchantress looks upon what is happening before her. She sees Big Barda flying upon the scene and uses Barda against her own teammate, Stargirl. Big Barda tussels with Stargirl. Unfortunately, Stargirl, taken by surprise that her own teammate is fighting her, is at a disadvantage and soon is killed by Barda. Enchantress releases Barda from her powers. Barda seems her teammate, killed by her own hand and crouches over her.
Barda: What have I done?
Super Skrull (comes behind Barda): You have met your superior.
Super Skrull uses his powers to destroy the protective armor of Barda and kill her. Barda is left a crushed and burnt husk.
Revoc and Kahn stealthily walk down a hallway. They open a door and are met by Scorponok and Zarak. The Transformer uses both arms, grabs the two, and rips them apart. Both Revoc’s and Kahn’s corpses hit the floor.
War Skrulls #1-5 all become Captain Atom. One Captain Atom cannot defeat five. Although Captain Atom manages to kill War Skrulls #3-5. War Skrulls #1-2 use his own abilities against him and are victorious in defeating their original template. Annihilus and Nova come upon the scene and use their combined powers to destroy the remaining War Skrulls #1 and #2.
Binary focuses on Nova. The Herald of Galactus is in a pitched battle with Binary. Mimic takes on the Super Skrull’s powers and assists Binary in her attack. The combined energy projections of Binary and Mimic’s Super Skrull powers eventually wear Nova down. Nova succumbs to the repeated assaults and dies. Galactus, infuriated that his disciple is killed, swiftly dispatches both Mimic and Binary.
The battle of the titans is taking place near the humungous generator room of the ship. Fin Fang Foom is battling Mothra. Mothra is using its powers to inflict some damage on Foom. Nonetheless, Foom’s acid mist breath is too much for the alien moth monster. Mothra is eventually killed. Female Sentinels #2-6 and #8-10 fly to the scene and overpower Fin Fang Foom. Their combined rays and weapons destroy the beast, Fin Fang Foom. Kup comes upon the scene and attempts to fight the female robot warriors. Although Kup destroys Sentinel #1, the remaining robots kill Kup. The Kennelz Transformer warriors: (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath (in bat form), and the Junkions #1-10, decide to come together. The Transformer robots manage to defeat the remaining Female Sentinels. They then focus on Skrulls #23-50. Although the Skrulls manage to destroy the Junkions #3-8, they are soon overpowered and killed. All Skrulls die. The Transformers focus their battle to Unus the Untouchable, but are unable to breach his force field. As the Transfomers are focused on Unus, Vision and Brainiac manage to take out Mindwipe and Vorath.
Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus approach Kang and Deathbird. They both fall to the amalgamated character and alternate zone villain without Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus so much as raising a sweat. Enchantress rushes at Dr. Doomsday and kisses him. She thus, takes hold of the good Dr.’s mind. Dr. Doomsday uses his enhanced strength (and energy projections) to destroy Annihilus, Lord Zarak and Cliffjumper.
Enchantress, Vision and Brainiac approach Dr. Doomsday. They will use Doomsday against his own team. Little do they recognize that Doomsday’s enhanced healing factors shrugs off the Enchantress’ power over him. Thus, the fog is lifted and Dr. Doomsday comes to his senses. He immediately strangles the Enchantress and kills Brainiac.
Super Skrull and Unus come together and place a force field around themselves and Vision. Dr. Doomsday attempts to breach the protective shell. Dr. Manhattan sees Doomsday and in super-sized form, with mere will, destroys Doomsday. The Junkions #1-10 and Sky Lynx follow Doomsday to their graves through Manhattan’s powers.
The “power cosmic” blows the Pussy’s force fields away as Super Skrull, Unus and Vision are blown to bits by Galactus. Dr. Manhattan and Galactus are in a pitched battle, but Manhattan unfortunately does not rise to the powers of Galactus. Thus, Manhattan is eventually defeated, the last Pussy to go down.
Pussies: All dead.
Kennelz: Galactus, (Beast Wars) Megatron, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorponok survive.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 5 Match: Team Sleeping Pussy vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
I have transported the teams to alternate ends of a space station that lies within the Milky Way’s expanse.
I look upon the locker room of Team Sleeping Pussy. The Pussy Team is Unus the Untouchable, Dr. Manhattan, Binary, Female Sentinels #1-10, Deathbird, Roy Batty, SHIELD Agents #1-10, War Skrulls #1-5, Mothra, Brainiac, Kilowog, Ultron, Super Skrull, Mimic, Kang the Conqueror, Daryl Revoc, Kahn, Vision, Enchantress, Biff Tannen and Skrulls #23-50. In the locker room:
Skrull # 27: What the f@%k!! We’re battling a bunch of robots! How the hell is our team supposed to adapt to a bunch of frickin’ robots!
Ultron: Watch your mouth 27! Remember, we have robots too. Isn’t that right 6?
Female Sentinel #7: I’m 7. And yes to your question.
In the locker room of Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve, who are Galactus with Nova, Hrmm, Barbarossa, Ajax, Green Lanterns #1-2 and 4-5, Jade, Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E., Big Barda, Annihilus, Dr. Doomsday, Captain Atom, Fin Fang Foom, Nitro and Admiral Starship with their laser cats, (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath, Kup, Junkions #1-10, Droideka #1, Battle Droid #1 and Treasure Troll #5.
Nitro: I can’t wait to use my cat to fry some Skrulls!
Treasure Troll #5: Just watch where you point those things! Don’t want my hair to catch on fire. [Not foreshadowing].
Galactus: Enough with the idle chatter. Let us commence the battle.
I transport the teams to the middle of the space station.
As the opening salvo, Nitro and Admiral Starship, with their laser cats, meet Biff Tannen. Tannen taunts the duo.
Tannen: Get your hands out of those cats’ a@@es or I’m calling the Humane Society! Ha!
The two respond by firing their cats. Tannen is killed.
Roy Batty comes upon the scene and uses his replicant-enhanced abilities to jump over the duo. He then comes from behind and manages to crush the cats. The screeching and crackling distracts Nitro. Daryl Revoc approaches the combatants and uses his scanner powers to kill Nitro, whose head blows up.
Kahn (walks up to Admiral Starship): Admiral.
Starship: Kahn. Kahn. [Raises his hands in the air]. Kahn! KAHN!!!
Kahn (grabs Starship’s face): Goodbye Admiral.
With a quick thrust, Kahn breaks Admiral Starship’s neck.
Across the ship Deathbird flies to Treasure Troll #5. She grabs the troll in one hand and uses her other hand to inflict a horrendous torture upon the little warrior.
Deathbird: How many swipes does it get to finish off a Treasure Troll? One (cuts hair). Two (cuts more hair). Three (cuts head off). Three. [SHOUT OUT TO TOOTSIE ROLL POPS!]
SHIELD Agents #1-10 are in a firefight with Battle Droid #1 and Droideka #1. The SHIELD Agents manage to take out Battle Droid #1. Droideka #1 kills Agents #2-4, 7 and 10. Brainiac manages to utilize his superior brain and actually taps into a force stream field of the space station, which disrupts the Droideka’s shield. The SHIELD Agents then destroy Droideka #1, with Brainiac’s assistance. Barbarossa, Ajax and Hrrm come upon the combatants and rampage through the humans. The cymeks and brute kill the remaining SHIELD Agents #1, 5, 6 and 8-9. Binary and Ultron fly upon the scene with the Female Sentinels. Although Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax manage to destroy, through brute strength alone, Female Sentinels #1 and 7, the remaining Pussy warriors. destroy all three Kennelz. Thus, Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax fall in battle.
Roy Batty slowly walks down one of the ship’s hallways. He is met by Jade. Jade and Batty are evenly matched in the art of fighting. Nonetheless, Batty’s replicant strength manages to wear Jade down. Batty eventually overpowers Jade and kills her. Big Barda, avenges her teammate and with her mega-rod, crushes Batty’s skull.
There is a pitched battle taking place throughout the ship’s corridors as Kilowog and the Green Lanterns are fighting one another. Kilowog manages to take out Green Lanterns #1 and 2. Notwithstanding, as he does so, he is struck by Deathbird. Offguard, Green Lanterns #4 and #5 manage to strike Kilowog at the same time. Seeing Kilowog go down, War Skrulls #1-5 attack the Lanterns at the same time. Their enhanced abilities and powers quickly dispatch the remaining Green Lanterns, # 4 and 5.
Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E. fight Ultron. The powers of Ultron are repeatedly crushing S.T.R.I.P.E. Nonetheless, before S.T.R.I.P.E. is utterly destroyed, he manages to use the suit to destroy both himself and Ultron in the ultimate sacrificial move. Enchantress looks upon what is happening before her. She sees Big Barda flying upon the scene and uses Barda against her own teammate, Stargirl. Big Barda tussels with Stargirl. Unfortunately, Stargirl, taken by surprise that her own teammate is fighting her, is at a disadvantage and soon is killed by Barda. Enchantress releases Barda from her powers. Barda seems her teammate, killed by her own hand and crouches over her.
Barda: What have I done?
Super Skrull (comes behind Barda): You have met your superior.
Super Skrull uses his powers to destroy the protective armor of Barda and kill her. Barda is left a crushed and burnt husk.
Revoc and Kahn stealthily walk down a hallway. They open a door and are met by Scorponok and Zarak. The Transformer uses both arms, grabs the two, and rips them apart. Both Revoc’s and Kahn’s corpses hit the floor.
War Skrulls #1-5 all become Captain Atom. One Captain Atom cannot defeat five. Although Captain Atom manages to kill War Skrulls #3-5. War Skrulls #1-2 use his own abilities against him and are victorious in defeating their original template. Annihilus and Nova come upon the scene and use their combined powers to destroy the remaining War Skrulls #1 and #2.
Binary focuses on Nova. The Herald of Galactus is in a pitched battle with Binary. Mimic takes on the Super Skrull’s powers and assists Binary in her attack. The combined energy projections of Binary and Mimic’s Super Skrull powers eventually wear Nova down. Nova succumbs to the repeated assaults and dies. Galactus, infuriated that his disciple is killed, swiftly dispatches both Mimic and Binary.
The battle of the titans is taking place near the humungous generator room of the ship. Fin Fang Foom is battling Mothra. Mothra is using its powers to inflict some damage on Foom. Nonetheless, Foom’s acid mist breath is too much for the alien moth monster. Mothra is eventually killed. Female Sentinels #2-6 and #8-10 fly to the scene and overpower Fin Fang Foom. Their combined rays and weapons destroy the beast, Fin Fang Foom. Kup comes upon the scene and attempts to fight the female robot warriors. Although Kup destroys Sentinel #1, the remaining robots kill Kup. The Kennelz Transformer warriors: (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath (in bat form), and the Junkions #1-10, decide to come together. The Transformer robots manage to defeat the remaining Female Sentinels. They then focus on Skrulls #23-50. Although the Skrulls manage to destroy the Junkions #3-8, they are soon overpowered and killed. All Skrulls die. The Transformers focus their battle to Unus the Untouchable, but are unable to breach his force field. As the Transfomers are focused on Unus, Vision and Brainiac manage to take out Mindwipe and Vorath.
Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus approach Kang and Deathbird. They both fall to the amalgamated character and alternate zone villain without Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus so much as raising a sweat. Enchantress rushes at Dr. Doomsday and kisses him. She thus, takes hold of the good Dr.’s mind. Dr. Doomsday uses his enhanced strength (and energy projections) to destroy Annihilus, Lord Zarak and Cliffjumper.
Enchantress, Vision and Brainiac approach Dr. Doomsday. They will use Doomsday against his own team. Little do they recognize that Doomsday’s enhanced healing factors shrugs off the Enchantress’ power over him. Thus, the fog is lifted and Dr. Doomsday comes to his senses. He immediately strangles the Enchantress and kills Brainiac.
Super Skrull and Unus come together and place a force field around themselves and Vision. Dr. Doomsday attempts to breach the protective shell. Dr. Manhattan sees Doomsday and in super-sized form, with mere will, destroys Doomsday. The Junkions #1-10 and Sky Lynx follow Doomsday to their graves through Manhattan’s powers.
The “power cosmic” blows the Pussy’s force fields away as Super Skrull, Unus and Vision are blown to bits by Galactus. Dr. Manhattan and Galactus are in a pitched battle, but Manhattan unfortunately does not rise to the powers of Galactus. Thus, Manhattan is eventually defeated, the last Pussy to go down.
Pussies: All dead.
Kennelz: Galactus, (Beast Wars) Megatron, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorponok survive.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!!
I have transported the teams to alternate ends of a space station that lies within the Milky Way’s expanse.
I look upon the locker room of Team Sleeping Pussy. The Pussy Team is Unus the Untouchable, Dr. Manhattan, Binary, Female Sentinels #1-10, Deathbird, Roy Batty, SHIELD Agents #1-10, War Skrulls #1-5, Mothra, Brainiac, Kilowog, Ultron, Super Skrull, Mimic, Kang the Conqueror, Daryl Revoc, Kahn, Vision, Enchantress, Biff Tannen and Skrulls #23-50. In the locker room:
Skrull # 27: What the f@%k!! We’re battling a bunch of robots! How the hell is our team supposed to adapt to a bunch of frickin’ robots!
Ultron: Watch your mouth 27! Remember, we have robots too. Isn’t that right 6?
Female Sentinel #7: I’m 7. And yes to your question.
In the locker room of Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve, who are Galactus with Nova, Hrmm, Barbarossa, Ajax, Green Lanterns #1-2 and 4-5, Jade, Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E., Big Barda, Annihilus, Dr. Doomsday, Captain Atom, Fin Fang Foom, Nitro and Admiral Starship with their laser cats, (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath, Kup, Junkions #1-10, Droideka #1, Battle Droid #1 and Treasure Troll #5.
Nitro: I can’t wait to use my cat to fry some Skrulls!
Treasure Troll #5: Just watch where you point those things! Don’t want my hair to catch on fire. [Not foreshadowing].
Galactus: Enough with the idle chatter. Let us commence the battle.
I transport the teams to the middle of the space station.
As the opening salvo, Nitro and Admiral Starship, with their laser cats, meet Biff Tannen. Tannen taunts the duo.
Tannen: Get your hands out of those cats’ a@@es or I’m calling the Humane Society! Ha!
The two respond by firing their cats. Tannen is killed.
Roy Batty comes upon the scene and uses his replicant-enhanced abilities to jump over the duo. He then comes from behind and manages to crush the cats. The screeching and crackling distracts Nitro. Daryl Revoc approaches the combatants and uses his scanner powers to kill Nitro, whose head blows up.
Kahn (walks up to Admiral Starship): Admiral.
Starship: Kahn. Kahn. [Raises his hands in the air]. Kahn! KAHN!!!
Kahn (grabs Starship’s face): Goodbye Admiral.
With a quick thrust, Kahn breaks Admiral Starship’s neck.
Across the ship Deathbird flies to Treasure Troll #5. She grabs the troll in one hand and uses her other hand to inflict a horrendous torture upon the little warrior.
Deathbird: How many swipes does it get to finish off a Treasure Troll? One (cuts hair). Two (cuts more hair). Three (cuts head off). Three. [SHOUT OUT TO TOOTSIE ROLL POPS!]
SHIELD Agents #1-10 are in a firefight with Battle Droid #1 and Droideka #1. The SHIELD Agents manage to take out Battle Droid #1. Droideka #1 kills Agents #2-4, 7 and 10. Brainiac manages to utilize his superior brain and actually taps into a force stream field of the space station, which disrupts the Droideka’s shield. The SHIELD Agents then destroy Droideka #1, with Brainiac’s assistance. Barbarossa, Ajax and Hrrm come upon the combatants and rampage through the humans. The cymeks and brute kill the remaining SHIELD Agents #1, 5, 6 and 8-9. Binary and Ultron fly upon the scene with the Female Sentinels. Although Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax manage to destroy, through brute strength alone, Female Sentinels #1 and 7, the remaining Pussy warriors. destroy all three Kennelz. Thus, Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax fall in battle.
Roy Batty slowly walks down one of the ship’s hallways. He is met by Jade. Jade and Batty are evenly matched in the art of fighting. Nonetheless, Batty’s replicant strength manages to wear Jade down. Batty eventually overpowers Jade and kills her. Big Barda, avenges her teammate and with her mega-rod, crushes Batty’s skull.
There is a pitched battle taking place throughout the ship’s corridors as Kilowog and the Green Lanterns are fighting one another. Kilowog manages to take out Green Lanterns #1 and 2. Notwithstanding, as he does so, he is struck by Deathbird. Offguard, Green Lanterns #4 and #5 manage to strike Kilowog at the same time. Seeing Kilowog go down, War Skrulls #1-5 attack the Lanterns at the same time. Their enhanced abilities and powers quickly dispatch the remaining Green Lanterns, # 4 and 5.
Stargirl and S.T.R.I.P.E. fight Ultron. The powers of Ultron are repeatedly crushing S.T.R.I.P.E. Nonetheless, before S.T.R.I.P.E. is utterly destroyed, he manages to use the suit to destroy both himself and Ultron in the ultimate sacrificial move. Enchantress looks upon what is happening before her. She sees Big Barda flying upon the scene and uses Barda against her own teammate, Stargirl. Big Barda tussels with Stargirl. Unfortunately, Stargirl, taken by surprise that her own teammate is fighting her, is at a disadvantage and soon is killed by Barda. Enchantress releases Barda from her powers. Barda seems her teammate, killed by her own hand and crouches over her.
Barda: What have I done?
Super Skrull (comes behind Barda): You have met your superior.
Super Skrull uses his powers to destroy the protective armor of Barda and kill her. Barda is left a crushed and burnt husk.
Revoc and Kahn stealthily walk down a hallway. They open a door and are met by Scorponok and Zarak. The Transformer uses both arms, grabs the two, and rips them apart. Both Revoc’s and Kahn’s corpses hit the floor.
War Skrulls #1-5 all become Captain Atom. One Captain Atom cannot defeat five. Although Captain Atom manages to kill War Skrulls #3-5. War Skrulls #1-2 use his own abilities against him and are victorious in defeating their original template. Annihilus and Nova come upon the scene and use their combined powers to destroy the remaining War Skrulls #1 and #2.
Binary focuses on Nova. The Herald of Galactus is in a pitched battle with Binary. Mimic takes on the Super Skrull’s powers and assists Binary in her attack. The combined energy projections of Binary and Mimic’s Super Skrull powers eventually wear Nova down. Nova succumbs to the repeated assaults and dies. Galactus, infuriated that his disciple is killed, swiftly dispatches both Mimic and Binary.
The battle of the titans is taking place near the humungous generator room of the ship. Fin Fang Foom is battling Mothra. Mothra is using its powers to inflict some damage on Foom. Nonetheless, Foom’s acid mist breath is too much for the alien moth monster. Mothra is eventually killed. Female Sentinels #2-6 and #8-10 fly to the scene and overpower Fin Fang Foom. Their combined rays and weapons destroy the beast, Fin Fang Foom. Kup comes upon the scene and attempts to fight the female robot warriors. Although Kup destroys Sentinel #1, the remaining robots kill Kup. The Kennelz Transformer warriors: (Beast Wars) Megatron, Sky Lynx, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorpononk with Lord Zarak, Cliffjumper, Mindwipe and Vorath (in bat form), and the Junkions #1-10, decide to come together. The Transformer robots manage to defeat the remaining Female Sentinels. They then focus on Skrulls #23-50. Although the Skrulls manage to destroy the Junkions #3-8, they are soon overpowered and killed. All Skrulls die. The Transformers focus their battle to Unus the Untouchable, but are unable to breach his force field. As the Transfomers are focused on Unus, Vision and Brainiac manage to take out Mindwipe and Vorath.
Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus approach Kang and Deathbird. They both fall to the amalgamated character and alternate zone villain without Dr. Doomsday and Annihilus so much as raising a sweat. Enchantress rushes at Dr. Doomsday and kisses him. She thus, takes hold of the good Dr.’s mind. Dr. Doomsday uses his enhanced strength (and energy projections) to destroy Annihilus, Lord Zarak and Cliffjumper.
Enchantress, Vision and Brainiac approach Dr. Doomsday. They will use Doomsday against his own team. Little do they recognize that Doomsday’s enhanced healing factors shrugs off the Enchantress’ power over him. Thus, the fog is lifted and Dr. Doomsday comes to his senses. He immediately strangles the Enchantress and kills Brainiac.
Super Skrull and Unus come together and place a force field around themselves and Vision. Dr. Doomsday attempts to breach the protective shell. Dr. Manhattan sees Doomsday and in super-sized form, with mere will, destroys Doomsday. The Junkions #1-10 and Sky Lynx follow Doomsday to their graves through Manhattan’s powers.
The “power cosmic” blows the Pussy’s force fields away as Super Skrull, Unus and Vision are blown to bits by Galactus. Dr. Manhattan and Galactus are in a pitched battle, but Manhattan unfortunately does not rise to the powers of Galactus. Thus, Manhattan is eventually defeated, the last Pussy to go down.
Pussies: All dead.
Kennelz: Galactus, (Beast Wars) Megatron, The Predicons: Razorclaw, Rampage, Tantrum, Divebomb and Headstrong, Scorponok survive.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Pop Superstar Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Gen. Grievous, The Colonial Marines: Apone, Hicks, Gorman, Bishop, Ferro, Dietrich, Hudson, Spunkmeyer, Vasquez, Drake, Frost, Crowe, & Wierzbowski, Ellen Ripley, Agamemnon & Juno, Xerxes, Dante, Tllaloc, Octane, Tracks, Rodimus Prime, (movie) Blackout, Smokescreen, The Giant Insecticons: Venom, Ransack, Barrage, & Chop Shop, Vindicator, The Crew of Icarus 2 (with their ship), Dr. Doom, Frank Poole, HAL 9000, Angel, Worf, Bizarro, Black Adam, Parallax, Ben Kenobi & Astro-Droid #19 in an X-Wing, Nightmare, Ms. Marvel, Maxima, Mary Marvel, Erasmus, Luminara Unduli & Barriss Offee, & Dozer #1.
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is Queen Alien #1-10, Ursa, Mary Embrey, Metroplex, The Aerialbots, The Terrorcons, Eradicator, (movie) Bonecrusher, (movie) Barricade, Brainstorm & Arcana, Darth Bane, Apocalypse, T-X, Nemesis Enforcer, Gorilla Grodd, Reverse Flash, Dr. Octopus, Hobgoblin, Rick O'Connell, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Sailor Moon, & Marvin the Martian.
Ever since Dr. Doom’s press release, The Commandos have been walking on eggshells in the locker room. They all know that they have to prove their worth, otherwise will have to face the wrath of Doom. The Annihilation Squad arrives and quickly overshadows their opponents with their main weapon, Metroplex. “Fools. You think that this overgrow robot can defeat me? For I am Doom!” shouts the Latverian dictator. “Titans! Dismantle Metroplex!” On this order, The Commandos five Titans fly in and start firing on the enormous Autobot. Metroplex extends his huge arm and grabs Juno out of mid-air (or would it technically be mid-space?) and crushes her within in his mighty grasp. This is something very new and unusual for the Titans, since they themselves are extremely large robots, but are dwarfed by the sheer size of Metroplex. The rest of the Titans continue their assault, keeping their guns locked on Metroplex. The Aerialbots fly in to give him some aid, as he is taking on quite a bit of damage. Metroplex does however severely damage Dante with his dual ion pulse rifles. But that the squad doesn’t realize is that this is all part of Dr. Doom’s plan. The Icarus 2 flies in carrying its normal crew, but Frank Pool, Dozer #1 and the newly installed HAL 9000. They weave through the Titans/Autobots firefight, taking several wayward shots in the process, but luckily the powerful mirrors that cover the ship, deflect most of the blasts. “What the hell are we doing in the middle of this?!” yells Mace. “I’ve got no idea! I can’t control the ship!” replies Kaneda. “I’m sorry Kaneda. But I have assumed command of the Icarus 2. It’s part of our mission,” calmly states HAL 9000. It’s then when they all realize Doom has sent them on a suicide mission. “This is the most effective way, Kaneda,” says HAL. The Icarus 2 then maneuvers up Metroplex and dives right into his mouth. The giant Autobot then lurches forwards and snaps back in a blinding explosion caused by the nuclear device the Icarus 2 was carrying. The sheer force of the blast knocks everyone back for a moment and incinerates Nightmare, Sailor Moon and Vindicator in the process. Rodimus Prime then takes his team of Ms. Marvel, Worf and Ben Kenobi with Astro Droid #19 in an X-Wing to continue their team’s attack. Bonecrusher, Nemesis Enforcer, Gorilla Grodd, and Darth Bane then meet them. The overzealous Bonecrusher immediately attacks Rodimus Prime. The matured Hot Rod easily evades the Decepticon’s attack and counters it with a swift spin kick. Rodimus then takes aim and blows Bonecrusher away with his photon rifle. Worf, armed with his bat’leth, squares off against Nemesis Enforcer on a nearby asteroid. Both, masters of hand-to-hand combat, they attack each other with all of their might. Neither is landing many blows on the other, but Nemesis Enforcer manages to knock away Worf’s bat’leth with his gauntlets. He then kicks the Klingon down, who retaliates by firing his phaser at the Cobra-La strongman, but he manages to block it with his bat-like wings. As Worf gets back up on his feet, he is blasted from behind with Sith lightning, courtesy of Darth Bane. Nemesis Enforcer finishes him off by stomping on his neck. Ms. Marvel, then without warning blasts Rodimus Prime as hard as she can. “Carol! What are you doing?!” yells Rodimus. “I don’t know! I can’t control myself,” replies Ms. Marvel. She keeps blasting at Rodimus, who thus far has been able to block most of the attack. “Rodimus, It’s Grodd. He’s taken control of Ms. Marvel’s mind, I can sense it,” says Ben Kenobi. “I’ll take care of him.” Master Kenobi flies his X-Wing in and blasts the gorilla away, which severs his mental link with Ms. Marvel. Dr. Doom then blasts Ms. Marvel with a massive amount of energy, frying her completely. “What are you doing Doom?!” shouts Rodimus Prime. “Such weakness will not be tolerated on this team,” Dr. Doom sternly replies. “Obama will hear of this,” adds Ben Kenobi. “Oh, I am counting on it Master Jedi,” responds Doom. Meanwhile on a massive asteroid all of the non-fliers are battling it out. “Man did you see what Doom did to Ms. Marvel? That’s f*&%# up man,” says Hudson. “Just stay focused Private,” says Lt. Gorman. “Hey that’s just too bad, she was a nice piece of tail,” jokes Frost. Sgt. Apone snaps back “you secure that s#^! Soldier.” The Colonial Marines make their way through the jagged terrain with no enemies in sight. Ferro is then yanked into the shadows, never to be seen again. Dietrich then screams for a moment, before being silenced forever. They finally get a visual of their opponents, ten Queen Aliens. “Great. Another bug hunt,” grumbles Hicks. Vasquez and Drake jump up to point and manage to mow down Queen Alien #3 with their M56 Smart Guns. Bishop is grabbed by Queens #4 and 6 and ripped in half. Hicks and Apone target Queen #1 and open fire on it. They are able to injure it, but it whips its tail around and impales Apone. Hicks then gets right up underneath the Queen’s head and fires his Ithaca 37 pump action shotgun into its jaw. Unfortunately he is then showered with its acid blood, which eats away at his body, killing him. Queen Alien #2 makes quick work of Spunkmeyer by picking him up and biting his head clean off. Ripley then, being the ultimate badass that she is, grabs Hicks’s grenade launcher and fires it at Queen #10, blowing it away. Vasquez and Drake are keeping their guns locked on Queen #2, eventually taking it down, but they don’t see Queen Alien #6 sneaking up behind them. It bursts its second mouth/head thing through the back of Drake’s head while simultaneously driving its tail through Vasquez. Queen Aliens #7 – 9 surround Frost, Crowe and Wierzbowski and rip through them before they can even get a shot off. Now Gorman and Hudson regroup with Ripley as the six remaining Queen Aliens begin to converge on them. They all draw their weapons up, ready to fire in a final stand, but all of a sudden every single Queen Alien is split in half by a flurry of lightsabers. Once the remains of the Queens drop to the ground, they see the unlikely combination of General Grievous, Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee standing before them. “Whoa, thanks man,” says a relieved and surely soiled Hudson. “Do not thank me human. I only do as Doom orders,” Grievous snaps back as he leaves to find more victims. “Aaaarrrgggg!” screams both Gorman and Hudson as Marvin the Martian kills them with his disintegration ray. Luminara grabs him with the Force and Barriss cuts his bowling ball-like head off. Rick O’Connell has once again found himself battling a supernatural foe, this time it’s Angel. “How do I always get into these messes?” Rick asks himself as he fights off Angel. “You think you have it bad? One time, I got transformed into a muppet!” Angel quips back as he kicks O’Connell to the ground. The vampire then leaps on top on Rick, fangs drawn, and about to bite down for the kill, but lucky for O’Connell the floating asteroid is showered with sunlight, which vanquishes Angel and saves Rick’s ass. “Huh? Well that was easy,” Rick says to himself as he brushes of the dust that was once Angel. The Titans/Autobots firefight is still going strong. The Aerialbots are outmatched in power, but are much faster and are able to evade a lot of the Titans’s attacks. Fireflight hits the already damaged Dante with his firefog, which inflicts even more, and ultimately fatal damage to the Titan. Brainstorm and Arcana fly in to give the Aerialbots a hand, but Erasmus jumps onto Brainstorm and links into him. Brainstorm is then astonished and awestruck by the sheer intelligence of the Thinking Machine. He is the blindsided by several rockets fired from Agamemnon, which kills Erasmus, Brainstorm and Arcana. The Aerialbots finally merge to form Superion, and he immediately fires his electrostatic discharger rifle at Tllaloc, which shorts him out temporarily. Doom then orders the Titans to focus their attack on the seams where the five Aerialbots merge, which works, forcing them to split apart again. This time Blackout flies in and hits them all with an EMP blast, which stuns them all. The Titans seize this opportunity and fire several rockets, blowing the Aerialbots up. The Terrorcons quickly mobilize and attack the now exhausted Titans. Blot and Cutthroat claw at the weakened Tllaloc. Blot fires his slime gun, which starts eating through Tllaloc’s powerful armor. Cutthroat then fires his double-barreled magnetizer rifle, which causes the Titan’s armor to literally rip itself apart. Knowing that the Titans survival is a key component to victory, Dr. Doom sends the Deluxe Insecticons in to help. As Rippersnapper, Sinnertwin and Hun-Grr attack Agamemnon; Barrage leads the three other Insecticons and fires a non-stop stream of explosive energy bursts that knock the Terrorcons away from their teammates. The Terrorcons respond by forming Abominus, who grabs a hold of Ransack and pulls him apart at the legs as if he was a wishbone. Chop Shop and Venom both quickly fall as well to Abominus’s overwhelming strength. Ben Kenobi flies his X-Wing in and starts firing on the massive Decepticon, but is swatted down as if he were a fly. Rodimus Prime, along with Octane and Smokescreen all fly in to assist the Titans and Barrage with Abominus. Smokescreen fires his two shoulder-mounted missiles, Octane hits him with his liquid flamethrower, and Blackout hit Abominus with an EMP. This attack allows Agamemnon and Xerxes to blast Abominus with several missiles. Once the blasts clear, the Commandos see Abominus is barely scratched and is continuing his assault. He crushes Smokescreen with his bare hands. Dr. Doom then instructs Parallax to end this nuisance. Parallax flies in and bombards Abominus with an extreme amount of yellow energy, which obliterates the Terrorcons entirely. Reverse Flash, Dr. Octopus, and Hobgoblin are the jumped by General Grievous. Dr. Octopus attempts to ensnare the cyborg with his tentacles, but just ends up getting them cut off by Grievous’s four lightsabers, and is then killed. Hobgoblin blows off two of Grievous’s extra limbs with some pumpkin bombs before being run through by a lightsaber. Reverse Flash then runs and snatches up the two lightsabers that were being held by General Grievous’s missing limbs. He proceeds to zip all over the asteroid, dodging Grievous’s attacks and in the process cutting him apart piece by piece, until finally the cyborg is reduced to scrap. Reverse Flash tries to do the same to Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee, but the Force allows them to see such an attack coming and they quickly spin their lightsabers around, slicing Reverse Flash in half. But now they find themselves surrounded by the rare sight of three Sith Lords. Darth Bane quietly waits as Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron rush in to attack the two Jedi. Luminara and her Jedi Padawan move together and engage the Sith slowly and gracefully and are able to cut Voltress and Ocron down with little hesitation. However the powerful Darth Bane would prove to be much more difficult. Bane targets the Padawan first with a brilliant and deadly, purple, blast of Sith lightning. In fact, the electric voltage of the lightning was so strong that Barriss died instantly upon contact and her body literally became burned and charred. Luminara then leaps at the Sith Lord with her lightsaber drawn and clashes with his. But that was exactly what Darth Bane hoped for. He crushes her hand with his strength, causing her to drop her lightsaber, and then wraps her in a bear hug and crushes her spine. He is then knocked off of his feet by a fast uppercut, courtesy of Mary Marvel. “Let’s see you try that on me!” she exclaims. And before he is able to get up onto his feet, she grabs him and flies as fast as she can towards the sun. She then serves the Sith Lord up to Black Adam who punches him hard, sending him into the sun. “Nicely done, Mary,” says Black Adam. “Now lets finish this fight.” This of course is easier said than done, as they are both knocked back by powerful blows from Ursa and Mary Embry. The two Mary’s fight ferociously as Black Adam squares off against the Kryptonian. Eradicator tries to fly in and tip the scales but is blindsided by Bizarro and Maxima. “You am Superman,” says Bizarro. “You am friend,” he says as he belts Eradicator in the face, shattering his 90’s style sunglasses. (seriously, those things were ridiculous looking.) Eradicator then fires his energy blasts at Maxima and well… eradicates her. Mary Marvel meanwhile has her hands full with Mary Embry. The two Mary’s fight tooth and nail. And I mean that, there’s actually a lot of scratching and biting in this showdown. The fight doesn’t end, until Mary Marvel grabs a hold of Mary Embry and shouts “SHAZAM!” and a lightning bolt shoots down from the heavens and fires right through Mary Embry, killing her. (Yeah I know… Lightning in space?? But it’s magic lightning, so it’s plausible.) Apocalypse, T-X and Barricade have engaged the remaining Transformers and Titans in battle. Apocalypse instantly shows why he is a premier force on Xavier’s Annihilation Squad by slicing Xerxes in half with his now changed blade arm. He then disposes of Tracks, Barrage and Blackout by blasting the fuel cargo of Octane, which obliterates all four of them. T-X attempts to override Agamemnon’s circuitry, but this plan backfires as Agamemnon, turns his lasers on his attacker and destroys the Terminator. Barricade tries to attack Rodimus Prime, but the Autobot leader is just too cunning for him. Barricade flails his tire and spike mace at him, but Rodimus dodges the attack and flips behind him, blasting him in the back at point blank range. Nemesis Enforcer flies over to try and aid Eradicator in his battle against Bizarro but is hit by a powerful bolt of yellow energy from Parallax, which disintegrates the warrior. Black Adam is beating back Ursa with all his might, but it is not killing her. She flies up and punches him right in the stomach, and then brings her elbows down onto his neck. Mary Marvel flies in and drop kicks the Kryptonian. It is unsure if Ursa would have killed Black Adam with her next blow (and I would assume she would have) but the combination of Mary Marvel and Black Adam is just too much for her to overcome. The two wielders of the ancient Egyptian gods overpower her and eventually destroy the Kryptonian with a combination of strength and teamwork. Eradicator finally manages to free himself from the fight with Bizarro and knows that only Apocalypse survives on his team. With this knowledge, Eradicator tries to inflict as much damage to the Commandos as he can before he himself falls. He flies with great speed and literally blows through Agamemnon, more specifically, the housing that holds his brain. He then vaporizes Ellen Ripley with a powerful blast of heat vision. It is then when Dr. Doom calls upon his “Ace in the hole” to end this confrontation. Dave Bowman: The Starchild appears out of nowhere and relieves The Eradicator of any physical bonds. “Doom! You yet again underestimate me! I am Apocalypse! You cannot defeat me with this mere lightshow!” bellows Apocalypse. “No it is you who are foolish! This is no simple lightshow, for it is The Starchild, the harbinger of your doom!” responds Dr. Doom. Apocalypse then grows exponentially and unleashes every ounce of energy that he has, but Dave Bowman doesn’t even flinch and in a fraction of a moment wipes Apocalypse from existence.
POP SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches are Orion, The Arc Troopers, Strom Trooper #15, Darth Vader & R2-KT in an X-Wing, Red Hulk, Vulcan, Vehicle Voltron, Sentinal #1-12, Krypto, Doomsday, Star Wolf in an Arwing, Triggerhappy & Blowpipe, Slugslinger & Caliburst, Flywheels, Cyclonus & his Armada, War Skrull #6-10, Skrull #1-4, Brood #1-5, Dark Phoenix, & Arkillo.
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy Prime, Sinestro, Star Scream, Sun Storm, Ramjet, Six Shot, Tripticon, Circuit Breaker, Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker & Astro-droid #11 in an X-Wing, Plo Koon in an Arwing, The Silverhawks: Blue Grass, Quicksilver & Tallyhawk, Steelheart & Stronghold, Steelwill & Rayzor, & The Copper Kid & Mayday, Gozar the Gozarian, Zuul, Vince Clortho, Parasite, Monarch, The One Above All, Exitar the Exterminator, Serci, Cable, Polaris, Havok, Phoenix, Elixir, The Sentry, Captain Marvel 2, Daken, Moonstone, Josh Houslander in an Exo-Suit, & Charleton Heston.
To avoid boring delay between these 2 A.L. powerhouses both teams are instantly teleported onto the same large asteroid located in the large belt between Mars and Jupiter. Both the Hanibal led Backyardigans and the Hanibal led Horsemen have similar plans of aggressive attack but they both require patience, so every member of the 2 teams that has flight capability immediately takes to the air, leaving what is left of the 2 teams to do battle on the asteroid. All 15 parts of Vehicle Voltron form together and prepare for battle causing the One Above All to take notice. Before this battle began, The One Above All was unsure as to whether or not he would even bother to partake in it due to the fact that he highly doubted that the opposing team would offer anything to be considered an actual threat to him or his Celestial counterpart Exitar. But after sensing the power that the Voltron of the Near Universe possessed he decided that this team may possess a fly worth swatting after all. The One Above All sends Exitar the Exterminator on a simple mission to destroy Voltron. Exitar, being bred and created to do one thing and one thing alone gladly flies toward Voltron at amazing speeds. The 2 huge combatants pound on one another ferociously while they both emit cosmic energy at each other from numerous parts of their armored bodies. Voltron fights well but in the end finds himself no match for Exitar who simply rips the once 15 part Voltron into about 150 parts. The One Above All then summons the Celestial attacker back to him until another being worthy of their attention presents themselves. The Arc Troopers take cover in the rocky terrain of the asteroid while Red Hulk stands out in the open with his army of 5 Broodlings 6 Dark Phoenixes and 5 Doomsdays behind him. The jet portion of Flywheels has taken off along with Triggerhappy & Blowpipe to form a Seeker group gladly leaving behind the tank portion of himself to fight alongside Blowpipe & Caliburst. While the Backyardigan Seekers patrol one third of the battle area the other areas are being watched by Cyclonus and his Armada to the left and Darth Vader being flanked by Star Wolf in their respective ships to their right. Luke Skywalker and his wing man Plo Koon fly by to do a strafing run on the assembling Backyardigan forces but the Arc Troopers are ready for them. As the 2 jets approach The Arc Trooper Captain gives the order for the troopers to cover their heavy weapons man while he uses his air to ground weaponry to target the 2 ships out of the sky. The well-trained Arc trooper locks on to both of the incoming ships and fires. Plo Koon’s lasers take out Storm Trooper #15 as well as Arcs #3 & 5 while Luke targets both Arc Lieutenants as well as Arc #1 & 2. The Arc Troopers know that although they are the best of the best that they are still expendable tools in the battle so they gladly put their lives on the line knowing that the heat-seeking weaponry fired at the 2 ships will not stop until it destroys them. Luke works some amazing evasive action to stay away from the rocket but it is still hot on his trail while Plo Koon on the other hand, though a skilled pilot is unable to get out of the missiles way in time as it clips the wing of the Arwing and sends him flying out of control into the side of the asteroid. If Luke Skywalker’s flying was any more graceful you would think that you were watching either Nick or Josh Houslander play Shadows of the Empire on N-64. The Jedi Master is more comfortable in the cockpit of an X-Wing than just about any person in the entire New Republic which is how the amazing pilot has still not been hit by the rocket behind him. Luke continuously evades the projectile using everything around as a possible obstacle to slow down the attack but he knows that he will eventually have to do something more drastic about it if he is going to stay alive. “What kind of missile is following us R6” Luke asks of his astro-droid R6-o3. Luke, during a brief bout with impatience thinks to himself “R-2 would have had it by now” but he quickly recovers as he sees a way out of his predicament. Luke comes flying at full speed toward the Backyardigan seeker group led by Triggerhappy. Luke uses his X-Wing’s proton torpedoes to target both Triggerhappy and Flywheels blowing them to bits as he flies right thru the Decepticon ranks. Slugslinger, who was just as oblivious as the rest of his comrades to the presence of the stealth Rogue Squadron leader wonders for a brief second why Luke did not blow him out of the sky as well instead of flying right past him; But just then the missile that was intended for Luke detonates on impact as it hits Slugslinger directly, blowing him apart. The 12 Sentinels fly back toward the asteroid to begin their attack when an X-woman below takes immediate notice of the situation. Polaris simply raises her 2 hands into the air in the direction of the 12 huge metal mutant hunters and the daughter of Magneto then crushes all 12 of them one by one with her mastery of magnetism. Darkseid who has thus far stayed far behind the asteroid levitating with Supergirl, Superboy, Sinestro, & The Sentry orders Superboy to fly down and simply throw his favorite collateral damage piece, Circuit Breaker into the mix. Superboy then flies down to the asteroid and launches Circuit Breaker on top of the tank portion of Flywheels. The Decepticon is instantly shorted out and left an empty fried shell as the dizzied Circuit Breaker rolls off of the tank and slowly comes to her feet. Blowpipe runs toward Circuit Breaker to attack her but once he gets close she simply touches Triggerhappy’s sidekick and kills him. Dark Phoenix then simply lifts her pinky and blasts Circuit Breaker with a firey blast of cosmic energy to finish off the poor pawn in Darkseid’s game. Starscream leads his seeker group blazing thru the skies when they see several targets approaching. Starscream orders Sunstorm and Ramjet to split up and head toward these oncoming opponents (more because Starscream is very uncomfortable flying in such a close proximity to the extremely unstable Sunstorm than for any true tactical purpose). But despite Starscream’s somewhat selfish reasoning the Decepticon does decide on what appears to be the most difficult opponent as he flies toward Darth Vader’s Tie Fighter at top speed. While Ramjet gets himself into a battle with Star Wolf. Sunstorm attempts to target Vulcan. Vulcan is flying around at amazing speeds due to his beyond Omega level mutant powers (which as any X-Men geek can tell you doesn’t really make any sense because Omega level means that their power has unlimited potential????? I can’t wait for a couple years from now when Marvel decides to completely jump the shark and introduce the lost 4th Summers brother whose powers are beyond-beyond Omega level or for them to introduce the lost Summers sister who is so powerful that they will have to establish a new tier of mutants whose powers are beyond, beyond-beyond Omega level…….. Who was probably raised by Corsair’s brother the lost Summers uncle who is the most powerful of all of the beyond, Beyond-beyond Omega level mutants (since by then their will be like 17 of the new tier mutants). But then they will, oh crap that’s right I have a match to write). Vulcan blasts the wing of Sunstorm with a huge burst of energy which blows off one whole side of the Decepticon. But the somewhat insane Sunstorm then transforms back into what is left of his robot form while he still barely functions. Sunstorm has only one arm and one leg but is still moving towards Vulcan with all of the momentum he had while in jet form. Sunstorm reaches out with his one remaining hand and grabs a hold of Vulcan. Vulcan struggles to get free and is almost loose when Sunstorm’s nuclear spark explodes killing both of them. Darth Vader and Starscream engage one another in a jet-powered battle that would probably make the 30 year old dudes working at Toys R’ Us literally crap their pants. Starscream seems to have the edge as he uses his ability to quickly transform back and forth from robot to jet form to his advantage but despite his great moves he is still unable to hit the Dark Lord of the Sith. Darth Vader has little to no love for the piece of rebel crap that he has been given to fly, but he knows that with him in the cockpit, even this mass-produced jalopy can do wonders. Vader tries spinning (cause that’s a good trick) and ends up behind the Decepticon warrior for merely a split second. But as anyone knows a split second is more than enough time for Lord Vader to blast anyone out of the sky, which is exactly what he does. Not far from that spot, Ramjet learns the hard way that the best way to win a dog-fight is to bring a wolf as Star Wolf in his Arwing targets the Conehead turned seeker and blasts him apart. Star Wolf is about to get on his com to let Lord Vader know that he is ready to rendezvous with him when he completely loses control of his Arwing’s controls. His ship starts slowly moving back toward the asteroid on a crash course when he runs a quick scan to see what is doing this. He quickly realizes that Polaris has got him in her magnetic grip and is about to simply crash his Arwing into the side of the space rock. Star Wolf, like any great pilot stays calm and gets behind his laser targeting sights. He locks in on Polaris’ general area which at this point is only a couple of hundred meters away and blasts her apart, releasing his ship from her mutant powers. Once released Star Wolf grabs a hold of his controls and has just barely enough time to pull up before crashing into the asteroid. The One Above All notices another combatant that he believes must be destroyed in order to prove the undeniable superiority of The Celestials. He begins to tell Exitar that his services will be once again required but he does not need to because Dark Phoenix and her minions are already on their way. It is painfully obvious which one of the 6 is the real Dark Phoenix because this incarnation of Jean Grey has no desire to trick her opponents into submission. War Skrulls do not typically obey the very person that they are imprinted to imitate but with Jean Grey’s phoenix enhanced telepathic powers, gaining mental control of them was not difficult. The skrull phoenixes instantly attack Exitar which begins a vicious cosmic battle while The real Dark Phoenix and The One Above All merely float before one another without moving. After a decent amount of time has passed The One Above All plainly say to Dark Phoenix “Your powers are impressive earth dweller, but you must know that I am The One Above All”. Dark Phoenix than smiles at the Celestial ruler and says “perhaps, but are you the One Above THIS”! As she says this Dark Phoenix unleashes the full power of the phoenix force engulfing the area with cosmic flame and wiping every molecule of the 8 combatants off of this plane of existence. Back on the asteroid Red Hulk leads his band of brutes against the Cable led rock bound members of the Horsemen. Krypto flies down toward Parasite but Parasite grabs a hold of his arch-enemy’s dog and absorbs the very life out of it before he brutally kills it Vick style. 4 of the 5 Broodlings attack Gozar and his crew. Gozar’s powers are more than a match for the 2 Broodlings that he takes on but once Broodlings #6 & 10 wrestle Zuul and Vince Clortho to the ground and come up with their powers fueling their parasitic bodies; Brood #6-8, & 10 are able to overcome the Gozarian. Orion flies down to do battle with the futuristic tyrant Monarch, while Cyclonus & his armada begin chasing the Maraj, being flown by Bluegrass. Red Hulk goes on a rampage reminiscent of his green counter-part as he attacks Moonstone ripping her in half. He than grabs a hold of the heads of Phoenix and Serci, and smashes them together; which results in an explosion of cosmic power that kills them both. Rulk than jumps ridiculously high into the orbit and punches me (the watcher not the character in the Exo-Suit) in the face…………………………….. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Sorry about that, I was unconscious for a couple of minutes. I am not sure what happened while I was Uhhmmm… sleeping but when I came to Daken was dead as well, presumably by the hands of Rulk? Cyclonus blasts Maraj out of existence with his Cybertronian lasers, but not before the Hillbilly pilot Bluegrass ejects the 4 Silverhawks and their weapon birds out of the ship and into the battle. Cyclonus’ blue Cybertronian space ship sidekick misses his targeted shots against the fast moving Quicksilver but hits Talleyhawk instead. The Armada then hits both Stronghold and Mayday head on with his nose killing those birds as well. Steelheart and Steelwill, being as tech-savvy as they are seem to know exactly where to attack the Transformer as they land on the smoothed back of Cyclonus’ Armada. Steelheart first blasts the bottom of what I guess is supposed to be the command tower of the ship that has no pilot and weakens it enough for the muscular Steelwill to get underneath it and rip out all of the vital parts, which sends the Sweep spinning off uncontrollably before he explodes. Cyclonus flies in and avenges his Sweep Armada by blasting the sibling combo of Steelheart & Steelwill, stopping their steel hearts from beating. Quicksilver and The Copper Kid both jump onto the back of Cyclonus. The quick-thinking, quick-acting, and quick-moving Quicksilver orders the last remaining Silverhawk other than himself, The Copper Kid to use his razor claws to rip open the back of the former Insecticon. Once open Quicksilver moves quicker than the eye can see to quickly blast apart Cyclonus and avenge the death of the friend he was always quick to love and quick to care for, Talleyhawk. After witnessing this pure show of quickness. I thought to myself that I wish a vintage 1999 version of Nick Houslander was here, because he would undoubtedly say that what he just witnessed was in fact: “Quick”! Charleton Heston and fellow NRA supporter Josh Houslander are engaged in a fast-paced (I promise I won’t say quick anymore) battle with Broodling #2 and Doomsday. Josh looks over to the gun-laden Heston and says “Dang Charlie you got more weaponry than I do, and I’m wearing an Exo-Suit”. Hestizzle moves out and Izzle with the fanged Broodling, who knocks him to the ground and then moves to jump on top of him. But Heston pulls out his space approved Flame-Thrower and blasts the Broodling off of him. Heston than gets to his feet and finishes off the Alien with about a dozen rounds of .44 Magnum from an AMT Hardballer. Heston than runs over to his homeboy Josh to help him out with Doomsday but Josh kicks over the gray skinned creature and then lights him up “Stallone Style” with his Cybertronian inspired weaponry. “Hells yeah! That’s how we do it in the hood, Right Chaz”! Josh screams to Charleton over the dead body of Doomsday. “Superman ain’t got nuthin on us” Heston replies in his best Ali voice. But as he is saying this Doomsday’s body shifts back to its original Skrull form. “Ahhhhh crap Chuck, I thought we actually killed the real Doomsday”. Josh says with disappointment as Arkillo flies in to fight them. A defiant Josh shakes his fist at Arkillo and says yellow sucks Yo! Kilowag would waste you”! As the yellow lantern crushes the 2 gun enthusiasts with a huge yellow hammer. Cable notices what just transpired with the Doomsday Skrull and realizes what is going on. The 4 remaining Doomsdays are running at Cable’s new forces when Cable telepathically informs Elixir of the situation. Elixir uses his powers to molecularly revert the Doomsdays back to their original Skrull form. This of course works on all but the true Doomsday who keeps running at them unaffected and crushes Elixir. Six Shot Flies in, in his jet form blasting Skrull #3 and then turns into his flying wolf form to rip apart the remaining 2. Doomsday continues his rampage, laying waste to Havok, whose blasts were just about useless on him, as well as Cable and Captain Marvel whom he crushed as if they were made of crumbling bread. This prompts Darkseid and his minions to begin to work their way to the battle to lend their hands in this heavyweight bout. Orion after a brutal fight with Monarch finally finishes him off. Orion took an amazing amount of damage from Monarch but it is nothing that his healing factor can’t handle. This Apoklopitian’s victory over a member of The Horsemen of Apokolips, prompts Darkseid to turn to Supergirl and say “Supergirl, I feel that we have established quite a connection over the last 2 seasons. In fact I would in many ways consider you to be like my daughter. Which is exactly why I want you, to go kill my son”. With that comment Supergirl does not say a word but simply flies at Orion at amazing speeds and begins pounding on him. Six Shot transforms into his Cybertronian Tank form and blows away Broodling #3 but then transforms back into his robot form to fight with the incoming Arkillo. The Decepticon assassin stands ready for whatever Arkillo throws at him but it is not enough as Arkillo blasts a hole right thru the spark of Six Shot with his yellow energy ring. Arkillo at this point sees how easy it is to destroy a Transformer and decides that he is going to take out the lumbering Tripticon. Arkillo flies at the massive Decepticon/Dinosaur/City but he finds that with this one he may have bitten off a little bit more than even his huge gross mouth can chew. Arkillo’s yellow energy blast puts quite a dent in Tripticon’s shoulder but Tripticon opens his mouth and blasts Arkillo with a huge laser bolt that stuns him, and send him floating backwards. Tripticon then grabs the yellow lantern out of the air with his massive hand and begins to squeeze. The powerful and yellow energy protected Arkillo comes to, just in time to feel his body crushed into mush. Darkseid and Sinestro fly in to the battle to assist the Krypto enhanced Parasite and Superboy in their fight against Doomsday. The 4 of them surround the mammoth gray beast and take turns taking pot shots at him without getting to close to the powerful creature. The Sentry flies in to help but Darkseid orders him to take on Rulk instead. Star Wolf comes flying in to do a strafing run on the Horsemen but Luke Skywalker comes in from behind and targets him out of space with his last proton torpedo. This prompts Luke and Vader to begin an epic father and son X-Wing battle in the space far above the asteroid (or it could be below, they tell me that there isn’t really any up or down in space). The Arc Trooper Capt. leads Caliburst and the 3 remaining broodlings in a last ditch effort against the massive Tripticon. The Arc Trooper comes up with a fairly good plan of attack and manages to get in some great shots with his twin pistols but it is simply not enough. Tripticon moves toward the Brood first, as he systematically stomps the remaining 3 Broodlings. The Arc Trooper Heavy Weapons Expert (who is now out of rockets from his attack on the Jedi in their Starships) catches a transformed Caliburst and attempts to blast Tripticon with it but even when he hits his mark, it does very little damage to the monstrous & menacing Decepticon. With a single laser blast Tripticon finishes off the Arc Trooper Capt., his weapons expert, Arc Trooper #4, and Caliburst. Orion takes quite a beating from Supergirl but he manages to keep fighting thru it. “O.K., now it’s my turn” Orion says to Supergirl as he comes at her with a feeling a rejuvenation. The son of Apokolips then takes the upper hand in the battle but it is far from over. Doomsday lunges at Parasite, who tries to block Doomsday’s blow with his arms. He gets the block up in time but the enraged Doomsday rips Parasite’s arms right off of him and then uses them to bludgeon Parasite to death. Darkseid yells to his team “let’s finish this”, which prompts Superboy to blast Doomsday with as much Heat vision as he has ever conjured out of himself, and for Sinestro to do the same with his Yellow energy powered ring. Darkseid then aims his Omega Beams at Doomsday which target him even as he jumps out of the way. Darkseid’s Omega Beams manage to morph with the power of Superboy and Sinestro to cause enough power to finally put Doomsday out of commission but not before Doomsday lands his powerful body on top of Darkseid, killing him as well. Red Hulk is quite bothered by The Sentry’s want to stay flying above him where he believes that he has the upper hand, so Rulk jumps in to the space sky and pulls The Sentry down to the rock bed below. The Sentry struggles to fight back against Rulk but eventually the “heated up” Hulkster brings his fists down hard on The Sentry with enough force to break his neck. The Red Hulk is severely heated up, but not to much to continue fighting. So he runs over to where Doomsday’s dead body lay on the ground to see if he can do what Doomsday could not. Rulk runs at both Superboy Prime and Sinestro but Rulk finds that he does not quite have it left in him to take them on. Sinestro knocks Rulk back with a fierce burst of yellow energy which leaves him more than just stunned. Superboy than takes this moment of opportunity to fly in and lay waste to The Red Hulk with a flurry of building leveling punches. Supergirl is knocked to the ground by Orion who begins to draw some energy from his Astro-Harness when Supergirl kicks him in the face to knock him off guard. Supergirl than pops up and gives Orion and brutal uppercut to the chin. Supergirl than rips a large piece of space rock out from the ground under them and throws it on top of Orion before he even hits the ground. Supergirl, in a blink of an eye than flies a few miles and than comes rocketing back down on the spot where Orion lay. Pushing them both thru the asteroid where the battle was taking place and destroying both the Astro-Harness and the New god who was wearing it. As much as it is difficult for either of them to admit it, the 2 Skywalkers are locked in what seems to be an endless draw. It is not until Supergirl, Superboy, Sinestro, Tripticon, and the few remaining Silverhawks (Superboy & Supergirl are carrying Tripticon) begin to fly over to their vicinity of the battle and take pot shots at Vader is Luke able to gain the upper hand in the battle and clip one of Vader’s 4 wings. Vader begins to recover from the space tumble but Luke takes instant advantage of his father and laser blasts him out of the sky.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy Prime, Sinestro, Star Scream, Sun Storm, Ramjet, Six Shot, Tripticon, Circuit Breaker, Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker & Astro-droid #11 in an X-Wing, Plo Koon in an Arwing, The Silverhawks: Blue Grass, Quicksilver & Tallyhawk, Steelheart & Stronghold, Steelwill & Rayzor, & The Copper Kid & Mayday, Gozar the Gozarian, Zuul, Vince Clortho, Parasite, Monarch, The One Above All, Exitar the Exterminator, Serci, Cable, Polaris, Havok, Phoenix, Elixir, The Sentry, Captain Marvel 2, Daken, Moonstone, Josh Houslander in an Exo-Suit, & Charleton Heston.
To avoid boring delay between these 2 A.L. powerhouses both teams are instantly teleported onto the same large asteroid located in the large belt between Mars and Jupiter. Both the Hanibal led Backyardigans and the Hanibal led Horsemen have similar plans of aggressive attack but they both require patience, so every member of the 2 teams that has flight capability immediately takes to the air, leaving what is left of the 2 teams to do battle on the asteroid. All 15 parts of Vehicle Voltron form together and prepare for battle causing the One Above All to take notice. Before this battle began, The One Above All was unsure as to whether or not he would even bother to partake in it due to the fact that he highly doubted that the opposing team would offer anything to be considered an actual threat to him or his Celestial counterpart Exitar. But after sensing the power that the Voltron of the Near Universe possessed he decided that this team may possess a fly worth swatting after all. The One Above All sends Exitar the Exterminator on a simple mission to destroy Voltron. Exitar, being bred and created to do one thing and one thing alone gladly flies toward Voltron at amazing speeds. The 2 huge combatants pound on one another ferociously while they both emit cosmic energy at each other from numerous parts of their armored bodies. Voltron fights well but in the end finds himself no match for Exitar who simply rips the once 15 part Voltron into about 150 parts. The One Above All then summons the Celestial attacker back to him until another being worthy of their attention presents themselves. The Arc Troopers take cover in the rocky terrain of the asteroid while Red Hulk stands out in the open with his army of 5 Broodlings 6 Dark Phoenixes and 5 Doomsdays behind him. The jet portion of Flywheels has taken off along with Triggerhappy & Blowpipe to form a Seeker group gladly leaving behind the tank portion of himself to fight alongside Blowpipe & Caliburst. While the Backyardigan Seekers patrol one third of the battle area the other areas are being watched by Cyclonus and his Armada to the left and Darth Vader being flanked by Star Wolf in their respective ships to their right. Luke Skywalker and his wing man Plo Koon fly by to do a strafing run on the assembling Backyardigan forces but the Arc Troopers are ready for them. As the 2 jets approach The Arc Trooper Captain gives the order for the troopers to cover their heavy weapons man while he uses his air to ground weaponry to target the 2 ships out of the sky. The well-trained Arc trooper locks on to both of the incoming ships and fires. Plo Koon’s lasers take out Storm Trooper #15 as well as Arcs #3 & 5 while Luke targets both Arc Lieutenants as well as Arc #1 & 2. The Arc Troopers know that although they are the best of the best that they are still expendable tools in the battle so they gladly put their lives on the line knowing that the heat-seeking weaponry fired at the 2 ships will not stop until it destroys them. Luke works some amazing evasive action to stay away from the rocket but it is still hot on his trail while Plo Koon on the other hand, though a skilled pilot is unable to get out of the missiles way in time as it clips the wing of the Arwing and sends him flying out of control into the side of the asteroid. If Luke Skywalker’s flying was any more graceful you would think that you were watching either Nick or Josh Houslander play Shadows of the Empire on N-64. The Jedi Master is more comfortable in the cockpit of an X-Wing than just about any person in the entire New Republic which is how the amazing pilot has still not been hit by the rocket behind him. Luke continuously evades the projectile using everything around as a possible obstacle to slow down the attack but he knows that he will eventually have to do something more drastic about it if he is going to stay alive. “What kind of missile is following us R6” Luke asks of his astro-droid R6-o3. Luke, during a brief bout with impatience thinks to himself “R-2 would have had it by now” but he quickly recovers as he sees a way out of his predicament. Luke comes flying at full speed toward the Backyardigan seeker group led by Triggerhappy. Luke uses his X-Wing’s proton torpedoes to target both Triggerhappy and Flywheels blowing them to bits as he flies right thru the Decepticon ranks. Slugslinger, who was just as oblivious as the rest of his comrades to the presence of the stealth Rogue Squadron leader wonders for a brief second why Luke did not blow him out of the sky as well instead of flying right past him; But just then the missile that was intended for Luke detonates on impact as it hits Slugslinger directly, blowing him apart. The 12 Sentinels fly back toward the asteroid to begin their attack when an X-woman below takes immediate notice of the situation. Polaris simply raises her 2 hands into the air in the direction of the 12 huge metal mutant hunters and the daughter of Magneto then crushes all 12 of them one by one with her mastery of magnetism. Darkseid who has thus far stayed far behind the asteroid levitating with Supergirl, Superboy, Sinestro, & The Sentry orders Superboy to fly down and simply throw his favorite collateral damage piece, Circuit Breaker into the mix. Superboy then flies down to the asteroid and launches Circuit Breaker on top of the tank portion of Flywheels. The Decepticon is instantly shorted out and left an empty fried shell as the dizzied Circuit Breaker rolls off of the tank and slowly comes to her feet. Blowpipe runs toward Circuit Breaker to attack her but once he gets close she simply touches Triggerhappy’s sidekick and kills him. Dark Phoenix then simply lifts her pinky and blasts Circuit Breaker with a firey blast of cosmic energy to finish off the poor pawn in Darkseid’s game. Starscream leads his seeker group blazing thru the skies when they see several targets approaching. Starscream orders Sunstorm and Ramjet to split up and head toward these oncoming opponents (more because Starscream is very uncomfortable flying in such a close proximity to the extremely unstable Sunstorm than for any true tactical purpose). But despite Starscream’s somewhat selfish reasoning the Decepticon does decide on what appears to be the most difficult opponent as he flies toward Darth Vader’s Tie Fighter at top speed. While Ramjet gets himself into a battle with Star Wolf. Sunstorm attempts to target Vulcan. Vulcan is flying around at amazing speeds due to his beyond Omega level mutant powers (which as any X-Men geek can tell you doesn’t really make any sense because Omega level means that their power has unlimited potential????? I can’t wait for a couple years from now when Marvel decides to completely jump the shark and introduce the lost 4th Summers brother whose powers are beyond-beyond Omega level or for them to introduce the lost Summers sister who is so powerful that they will have to establish a new tier of mutants whose powers are beyond, beyond-beyond Omega level…….. Who was probably raised by Corsair’s brother the lost Summers uncle who is the most powerful of all of the beyond, Beyond-beyond Omega level mutants (since by then their will be like 17 of the new tier mutants). But then they will, oh crap that’s right I have a match to write). Vulcan blasts the wing of Sunstorm with a huge burst of energy which blows off one whole side of the Decepticon. But the somewhat insane Sunstorm then transforms back into what is left of his robot form while he still barely functions. Sunstorm has only one arm and one leg but is still moving towards Vulcan with all of the momentum he had while in jet form. Sunstorm reaches out with his one remaining hand and grabs a hold of Vulcan. Vulcan struggles to get free and is almost loose when Sunstorm’s nuclear spark explodes killing both of them. Darth Vader and Starscream engage one another in a jet-powered battle that would probably make the 30 year old dudes working at Toys R’ Us literally crap their pants. Starscream seems to have the edge as he uses his ability to quickly transform back and forth from robot to jet form to his advantage but despite his great moves he is still unable to hit the Dark Lord of the Sith. Darth Vader has little to no love for the piece of rebel crap that he has been given to fly, but he knows that with him in the cockpit, even this mass-produced jalopy can do wonders. Vader tries spinning (cause that’s a good trick) and ends up behind the Decepticon warrior for merely a split second. But as anyone knows a split second is more than enough time for Lord Vader to blast anyone out of the sky, which is exactly what he does. Not far from that spot, Ramjet learns the hard way that the best way to win a dog-fight is to bring a wolf as Star Wolf in his Arwing targets the Conehead turned seeker and blasts him apart. Star Wolf is about to get on his com to let Lord Vader know that he is ready to rendezvous with him when he completely loses control of his Arwing’s controls. His ship starts slowly moving back toward the asteroid on a crash course when he runs a quick scan to see what is doing this. He quickly realizes that Polaris has got him in her magnetic grip and is about to simply crash his Arwing into the side of the space rock. Star Wolf, like any great pilot stays calm and gets behind his laser targeting sights. He locks in on Polaris’ general area which at this point is only a couple of hundred meters away and blasts her apart, releasing his ship from her mutant powers. Once released Star Wolf grabs a hold of his controls and has just barely enough time to pull up before crashing into the asteroid. The One Above All notices another combatant that he believes must be destroyed in order to prove the undeniable superiority of The Celestials. He begins to tell Exitar that his services will be once again required but he does not need to because Dark Phoenix and her minions are already on their way. It is painfully obvious which one of the 6 is the real Dark Phoenix because this incarnation of Jean Grey has no desire to trick her opponents into submission. War Skrulls do not typically obey the very person that they are imprinted to imitate but with Jean Grey’s phoenix enhanced telepathic powers, gaining mental control of them was not difficult. The skrull phoenixes instantly attack Exitar which begins a vicious cosmic battle while The real Dark Phoenix and The One Above All merely float before one another without moving. After a decent amount of time has passed The One Above All plainly say to Dark Phoenix “Your powers are impressive earth dweller, but you must know that I am The One Above All”. Dark Phoenix than smiles at the Celestial ruler and says “perhaps, but are you the One Above THIS”! As she says this Dark Phoenix unleashes the full power of the phoenix force engulfing the area with cosmic flame and wiping every molecule of the 8 combatants off of this plane of existence. Back on the asteroid Red Hulk leads his band of brutes against the Cable led rock bound members of the Horsemen. Krypto flies down toward Parasite but Parasite grabs a hold of his arch-enemy’s dog and absorbs the very life out of it before he brutally kills it Vick style. 4 of the 5 Broodlings attack Gozar and his crew. Gozar’s powers are more than a match for the 2 Broodlings that he takes on but once Broodlings #6 & 10 wrestle Zuul and Vince Clortho to the ground and come up with their powers fueling their parasitic bodies; Brood #6-8, & 10 are able to overcome the Gozarian. Orion flies down to do battle with the futuristic tyrant Monarch, while Cyclonus & his armada begin chasing the Maraj, being flown by Bluegrass. Red Hulk goes on a rampage reminiscent of his green counter-part as he attacks Moonstone ripping her in half. He than grabs a hold of the heads of Phoenix and Serci, and smashes them together; which results in an explosion of cosmic power that kills them both. Rulk than jumps ridiculously high into the orbit and punches me (the watcher not the character in the Exo-Suit) in the face…………………………….. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Sorry about that, I was unconscious for a couple of minutes. I am not sure what happened while I was Uhhmmm… sleeping but when I came to Daken was dead as well, presumably by the hands of Rulk? Cyclonus blasts Maraj out of existence with his Cybertronian lasers, but not before the Hillbilly pilot Bluegrass ejects the 4 Silverhawks and their weapon birds out of the ship and into the battle. Cyclonus’ blue Cybertronian space ship sidekick misses his targeted shots against the fast moving Quicksilver but hits Talleyhawk instead. The Armada then hits both Stronghold and Mayday head on with his nose killing those birds as well. Steelheart and Steelwill, being as tech-savvy as they are seem to know exactly where to attack the Transformer as they land on the smoothed back of Cyclonus’ Armada. Steelheart first blasts the bottom of what I guess is supposed to be the command tower of the ship that has no pilot and weakens it enough for the muscular Steelwill to get underneath it and rip out all of the vital parts, which sends the Sweep spinning off uncontrollably before he explodes. Cyclonus flies in and avenges his Sweep Armada by blasting the sibling combo of Steelheart & Steelwill, stopping their steel hearts from beating. Quicksilver and The Copper Kid both jump onto the back of Cyclonus. The quick-thinking, quick-acting, and quick-moving Quicksilver orders the last remaining Silverhawk other than himself, The Copper Kid to use his razor claws to rip open the back of the former Insecticon. Once open Quicksilver moves quicker than the eye can see to quickly blast apart Cyclonus and avenge the death of the friend he was always quick to love and quick to care for, Talleyhawk. After witnessing this pure show of quickness. I thought to myself that I wish a vintage 1999 version of Nick Houslander was here, because he would undoubtedly say that what he just witnessed was in fact: “Quick”! Charleton Heston and fellow NRA supporter Josh Houslander are engaged in a fast-paced (I promise I won’t say quick anymore) battle with Broodling #2 and Doomsday. Josh looks over to the gun-laden Heston and says “Dang Charlie you got more weaponry than I do, and I’m wearing an Exo-Suit”. Hestizzle moves out and Izzle with the fanged Broodling, who knocks him to the ground and then moves to jump on top of him. But Heston pulls out his space approved Flame-Thrower and blasts the Broodling off of him. Heston than gets to his feet and finishes off the Alien with about a dozen rounds of .44 Magnum from an AMT Hardballer. Heston than runs over to his homeboy Josh to help him out with Doomsday but Josh kicks over the gray skinned creature and then lights him up “Stallone Style” with his Cybertronian inspired weaponry. “Hells yeah! That’s how we do it in the hood, Right Chaz”! Josh screams to Charleton over the dead body of Doomsday. “Superman ain’t got nuthin on us” Heston replies in his best Ali voice. But as he is saying this Doomsday’s body shifts back to its original Skrull form. “Ahhhhh crap Chuck, I thought we actually killed the real Doomsday”. Josh says with disappointment as Arkillo flies in to fight them. A defiant Josh shakes his fist at Arkillo and says yellow sucks Yo! Kilowag would waste you”! As the yellow lantern crushes the 2 gun enthusiasts with a huge yellow hammer. Cable notices what just transpired with the Doomsday Skrull and realizes what is going on. The 4 remaining Doomsdays are running at Cable’s new forces when Cable telepathically informs Elixir of the situation. Elixir uses his powers to molecularly revert the Doomsdays back to their original Skrull form. This of course works on all but the true Doomsday who keeps running at them unaffected and crushes Elixir. Six Shot Flies in, in his jet form blasting Skrull #3 and then turns into his flying wolf form to rip apart the remaining 2. Doomsday continues his rampage, laying waste to Havok, whose blasts were just about useless on him, as well as Cable and Captain Marvel whom he crushed as if they were made of crumbling bread. This prompts Darkseid and his minions to begin to work their way to the battle to lend their hands in this heavyweight bout. Orion after a brutal fight with Monarch finally finishes him off. Orion took an amazing amount of damage from Monarch but it is nothing that his healing factor can’t handle. This Apoklopitian’s victory over a member of The Horsemen of Apokolips, prompts Darkseid to turn to Supergirl and say “Supergirl, I feel that we have established quite a connection over the last 2 seasons. In fact I would in many ways consider you to be like my daughter. Which is exactly why I want you, to go kill my son”. With that comment Supergirl does not say a word but simply flies at Orion at amazing speeds and begins pounding on him. Six Shot transforms into his Cybertronian Tank form and blows away Broodling #3 but then transforms back into his robot form to fight with the incoming Arkillo. The Decepticon assassin stands ready for whatever Arkillo throws at him but it is not enough as Arkillo blasts a hole right thru the spark of Six Shot with his yellow energy ring. Arkillo at this point sees how easy it is to destroy a Transformer and decides that he is going to take out the lumbering Tripticon. Arkillo flies at the massive Decepticon/Dinosaur/City but he finds that with this one he may have bitten off a little bit more than even his huge gross mouth can chew. Arkillo’s yellow energy blast puts quite a dent in Tripticon’s shoulder but Tripticon opens his mouth and blasts Arkillo with a huge laser bolt that stuns him, and send him floating backwards. Tripticon then grabs the yellow lantern out of the air with his massive hand and begins to squeeze. The powerful and yellow energy protected Arkillo comes to, just in time to feel his body crushed into mush. Darkseid and Sinestro fly in to the battle to assist the Krypto enhanced Parasite and Superboy in their fight against Doomsday. The 4 of them surround the mammoth gray beast and take turns taking pot shots at him without getting to close to the powerful creature. The Sentry flies in to help but Darkseid orders him to take on Rulk instead. Star Wolf comes flying in to do a strafing run on the Horsemen but Luke Skywalker comes in from behind and targets him out of space with his last proton torpedo. This prompts Luke and Vader to begin an epic father and son X-Wing battle in the space far above the asteroid (or it could be below, they tell me that there isn’t really any up or down in space). The Arc Trooper Capt. leads Caliburst and the 3 remaining broodlings in a last ditch effort against the massive Tripticon. The Arc Trooper comes up with a fairly good plan of attack and manages to get in some great shots with his twin pistols but it is simply not enough. Tripticon moves toward the Brood first, as he systematically stomps the remaining 3 Broodlings. The Arc Trooper Heavy Weapons Expert (who is now out of rockets from his attack on the Jedi in their Starships) catches a transformed Caliburst and attempts to blast Tripticon with it but even when he hits his mark, it does very little damage to the monstrous & menacing Decepticon. With a single laser blast Tripticon finishes off the Arc Trooper Capt., his weapons expert, Arc Trooper #4, and Caliburst. Orion takes quite a beating from Supergirl but he manages to keep fighting thru it. “O.K., now it’s my turn” Orion says to Supergirl as he comes at her with a feeling a rejuvenation. The son of Apokolips then takes the upper hand in the battle but it is far from over. Doomsday lunges at Parasite, who tries to block Doomsday’s blow with his arms. He gets the block up in time but the enraged Doomsday rips Parasite’s arms right off of him and then uses them to bludgeon Parasite to death. Darkseid yells to his team “let’s finish this”, which prompts Superboy to blast Doomsday with as much Heat vision as he has ever conjured out of himself, and for Sinestro to do the same with his Yellow energy powered ring. Darkseid then aims his Omega Beams at Doomsday which target him even as he jumps out of the way. Darkseid’s Omega Beams manage to morph with the power of Superboy and Sinestro to cause enough power to finally put Doomsday out of commission but not before Doomsday lands his powerful body on top of Darkseid, killing him as well. Red Hulk is quite bothered by The Sentry’s want to stay flying above him where he believes that he has the upper hand, so Rulk jumps in to the space sky and pulls The Sentry down to the rock bed below. The Sentry struggles to fight back against Rulk but eventually the “heated up” Hulkster brings his fists down hard on The Sentry with enough force to break his neck. The Red Hulk is severely heated up, but not to much to continue fighting. So he runs over to where Doomsday’s dead body lay on the ground to see if he can do what Doomsday could not. Rulk runs at both Superboy Prime and Sinestro but Rulk finds that he does not quite have it left in him to take them on. Sinestro knocks Rulk back with a fierce burst of yellow energy which leaves him more than just stunned. Superboy than takes this moment of opportunity to fly in and lay waste to The Red Hulk with a flurry of building leveling punches. Supergirl is knocked to the ground by Orion who begins to draw some energy from his Astro-Harness when Supergirl kicks him in the face to knock him off guard. Supergirl than pops up and gives Orion and brutal uppercut to the chin. Supergirl than rips a large piece of space rock out from the ground under them and throws it on top of Orion before he even hits the ground. Supergirl, in a blink of an eye than flies a few miles and than comes rocketing back down on the spot where Orion lay. Pushing them both thru the asteroid where the battle was taking place and destroying both the Astro-Harness and the New god who was wearing it. As much as it is difficult for either of them to admit it, the 2 Skywalkers are locked in what seems to be an endless draw. It is not until Supergirl, Superboy, Sinestro, Tripticon, and the few remaining Silverhawks (Superboy & Supergirl are carrying Tripticon) begin to fly over to their vicinity of the battle and take pot shots at Vader is Luke able to gain the upper hand in the battle and clip one of Vader’s 4 wings. Vader begins to recover from the space tumble but Luke takes instant advantage of his father and laser blasts him out of the sky.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Message from The Comissioner
Attention: All Team Owners & Watchers. It is the consensus of much of the league that it would work better if the day of team entry was changed. Starting this week teams will no longer be due on Wednesday by midnight, they will be due Monday by midnight. So the team for week 6 that was going to be due on Wednesday March 25th, is not due until Monday March 30th. The following teams will be due every Monday after that. This will give everyone more time to prepare their 2500 point team and it will provide more time for the Watchers to witness these epic battles. If any of you have any questions, feel free to call me anytime. Thanks.
-Josh
-Josh
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing
Le’ Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing
Le Napoleon Brigade is Emperor Palpatine, Darth Nihilus, Duncan Idaho Ghola #2, Allia Atreides Ghola, Guy Gardner (w/ yellow ring), Power Girl, Skyfire, Allia Atreides, Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, Hecate, Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Man at Arms & Teela, The Jetsons: George, Judy, Jane, Elroy, Astro, Rosey, & Orbitty, Maverick & Astro-Droid #1 in an X-Wing, Atrocikus, Alan Scott, Squeezeplay & Locos, Baron Soontir Fel in a Tie Interceptor, Storm Trooper #51-63, Silver Dragon #2-13, Coleman Trebor, Anakin Solo, Leia Organa (Jedi), Jedi Knight #1-5, Scary Spice, Baby Spice, & Ginger Spice.
The Right Wing is Jedi Knight #16-23, Elite Storm Trooper #1-9, Agent #1 & 2, Jedi Padawan #2-6, & 38, Droid Fighter Ship #1-13, Silver Surfer, Mr. Freeze, Flash, John Stewart, Storm, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Quinlon Vos, Red Sonja, Darth Malack, Capt. Mifune, Black Panther, E.T., Druscilla, & Miss Martian.
Although the Brigade still has several free-floating members to its team in this Milky Way setting, a good portion of their team are being protected by vehicles. Both Idahos and both Allias, along with Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Man at Arms, & Teela are up in Skyfire’s cockpit area while Coleman Trebor, Anakin Solo, Leia, the 5 Jedis, the 3 spice girls, & The Storm Troopers are in the cargo hold. Skyfire and Hecate flank one another as they move toward The Right Wing’s base of operations. Maverick in his X-Wing is working as a reluctant wing man to Baron Fel in his Tie Interceptor, which has Darth Nihilus stowed away in its small cargo hold. Palpatine (probably due to some sort of force manipulation) has some how managed to grab a seat riding along with the Jetsons in their family space ship. The Right Wing does not have vehicles to support its team but before the battle even begins Mr. Freeze makes an enormous ice meteor which is large enough to support the non-flying members of the team. Once Capt. Mifune and Darth Malack see what Mr. Freeze is capable of they order the team to sit tight and wait for the Brigade to make the first move. Mr. Freeze then builds up the sides of the team’s new icy home so they can easily fortify their position. The 10 Silver Dragons are having some trouble flying with the grace that they are used to without the benefit of gravity so the 13 Droid Fighter ships zoom in and make short work of them with their lasers, except for Silver Dragon #2 who manages to bite down hard on Droid fighter #3, causing it to join them in destruction. A fairly large dogfight ensues when the 12 remaining droid ships all gang up on the 2 fighter ships of the Brigade but; the Brigade’s pilots are much more adept than droid piloted ships. While the stars are being lit up by the firefight Hecate, Skyfire, and George Jetson fly in carefully toward the heavily guarded iceberg of The Right Wing. Not so cautiously coming in to the Right Wing’s base of operations are the 3 unlikely lantern teammates of Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, & Atrocikus being led by Power Girl; but they are diverted from the mini ice planet by John Stewart, Miss Martian, Flash, & Silver Surfer who draw them away to do battle away from the rest of the less than comfortable space fighters. As the 3 ships and Squeezeplay approach, Hecate swings underneath the iceberg while Skyfire and George Jetson fly up to drop their troops on the surface so the battle can begin. Skyfire goes thru with the plan but Darth Sideous convinces George to swing back around and not yet land on the ice. Under heavy fire from the Right Wing Skyfire manages a daring landing on the icy surface and opens up his rear hatch in order to let out the Brigade. The first wave is the 13 Storm Troopers led by Jedi Knight #4, but they are quickly mowed down by the 9 well covered Elite Storm Troopers. Only Elite Trooper #6 is killed in the initial attack. The 13 Storm Troopers do not die in vain though as they make the perfect diversion for the rest of the Brigade to run safely out of Skyfire and begin their attack on The Right Wing. Capt. Mifune sees that their original line has been broken which prompts him to yell “Charge”!! On his command the 9 Elite Storm Troopers Duncan Idaho #6, Red Sonja, & Black Panther run (more like moon jump) toward their oncoming attackers. Squeezeplay lands, diverting the attention of the Jedi Knights. Squeezeplay’s head, Locos transforms into robot form while Squeezeplay transforms into his crab from. The Elite Storm Troopers take aim at the Spice Girls but only Baby Spice is shot because her obese body was large enough to cover the other 2 Spice Girls and protect them from the time being. Scary Spice, or as some call her pepper picks up Jedi Knight #4’s lightsaber and ignites it while Ginger Spice screams her anti-Right Wing battle cry: “Bloody Conservatives, if it weren’t fer you I wilst of had ta change me name from Sexy Spice”. The 2 Spice girls get an A for effort for this brief show of heroism but Capt. Mifune quickly rips them to shreds in his waking tank like apparatus. Man at Arms and Teela find it weird that they are not the only ones wielding medieval type melee weapons in space as they rush toward Red Sonja and use their sword/hammer duo to rip open Sonja’s space suit and expose her to the elements. Drusilla dodges a lightsaber swing from Anakin Solo and then uses her razor sharp nails to rip open his space suit. E.T. begins wrestling around on the space tundra with Allia’s ghola. Despite E.T. being much more comfortable in his surroundings, the toddler killer manages to rip out E.T.’s trachea. Skyfire transforms into his large robot form and stomps on Black Panther and Duncan Idaho #6 but the 2 Agents come running in at speeds that are not possible in space and jump on to the back of the Autobot Jet. The 2 Agents ferociously pound on the Transformer with their fists to make several fairly large holes in his hull and then use their .50 caliber pistols to blast inside of the barely functioning Skyfire and extinguish his spark. Coleman Trebor is being flanked by Jedi Knight #2 as he runs up to do battle with Darth Malack. Master Trebor swings his green lightsaber hard at Lord Malack’s already damaged jaw but Malack ducks out of the way and puts his crimson blade into the chest of Coleman Trebor. The Sith Lord then spins around and takes out Jedi Knight #2 with ease. Mr. Freeze blasts Wonder Woman with his freeze gun and then Quinlon Vos uses the force to rip off another chunk of ice and throw it at Wonder Woman cracking the Amazon princess in half. In a rage Wonder Girl plows thru Elite Storm Troopers #1, 2, & 7 killing them all and ripping Trooper #7’s helmet off during her attack. Wonder Woman’s trusted sidekick then takes the helmet and rockets it at the head of Quinlon Vos cracking open his space helmet and killing the Jedi Master. Squeeze Play uses its claws to rip apart Jedi Knights #19 & 22, as well as Padawan #5, but the remaining 11 Jedis prove to be to much for the Decepticon as Jedi Knight #16 and his padawan (#2) use their lightsabers to finish off Squeezeplay by removing his metal crustacean head. Just when the Jedis believe that they have a moment to rest Locos comes running in to avenge his partner. Taken off guard by the small robot, Locos uses his mini laser cannon to take out Jedi Knights #17, 18, & 23, & Jedi Padawan #4. But Jedi Knight #20 finally kicks the little Decepticon over so his padawan (#6) can stab his lightsaber into the chest of Locos to finish him off. Jedi Knights #1, 3, & 5, led by Leia Organa-Solo move against Capt. Mifune. The Jedi swing their lightsabers rapidly to block the bullets shot by Mifune but Leia leaves the mini battle when she sees an opportunity to go after Drusilla. The Jedi knows that she shouldn’t leave her post and that attachment and revenge are 2 emotions forbidden by the Jedi order, but after what Drusilla did to her son Anakin she can not let her get away. Drusilla leaps at Leia with her nails and teeth exposed to the frigid space but Leia, despite being restrained by a space suit moves with an amazing grace as she avenges her son and relieves Drusilla of her head. Capt. Mifune catches Jedi Knight #1 with a bullet to the head while the other 2 Jedi jump on top of the monstrous piece of equipment that Mifune is maneuvering. Mifune throws Jedi #5 off of him into the side of an icy mountain, breaking his back but before he can do the same to Jedi #3, the Jedi sticks his lightsaber thru the protective bars of Mifune’s contraption and into the defender of Zion’s head. The recent widow Storm is having trouble working her powers in space without an atmosphere to draw from but she conjures up a lightning bolt and sends it into the head of Duncan Idaho #2. As Duncan lay dead, his wife Allia and his future clone Duncan Idaho #12 rush in at amazing speeds to kill Storm with their Atreides blades. Wonder Girl is still hell bent on avenging the death of Wonder Woman so she moves against Mr. Freeze next. She jumps out of the way of his initial ice blast and then punches thru his helmet. This does not kill him as he is still being supported by Oxygen and is unaffected by the cold but once she gets her powerful hand around his throat and gives a good squeeze, it is over fairly quickly for Victor Freeze. Man at Arms and Teela would be a great match for a couple of Jedis and their padawans back home on Eternia but here their weapons are of not much use and they fall pretty quickly to them. Duncan Idaho #12 and the 2 Allias move with the speed of great fighters but have little experience in a space suit. This proves fatal to them as the 2 Agents fight effortlessly in the space surroundings and rip them to shreds. Leia and Wonder Girl stand alone on the ice meteor, out-numbered 13 to 2. Wonder Girl turns to Leia and says “your highness, I think it is time for plan B”. Leia replies with “I said before I didn’t want to go thru with it. Especially when we didn’t get you off in time. The Watchers said that if you die one more time than you aren’t getting resurrected”. “Just do it” Wonder Girl says in reply, “it is our only chance; I just wish I had gotten to know some of you season 2 people a little better”. “I’ll see you in the graveyard, Wonder Girl” Leia says as she uses her communicator to contact Hecate; who, from below the floating iceberg blasts it with a rocket killing all of the people on it. George Jetson turns to Palpatine in his car and says “what the hell are we doing Palpatine”? Those were are friends who just got killed on that iceberg and we just sat in here doing nothing the entire time”. “We have more important things to do for this mission”. Sideous replies. “No! I think you just don’t want to put yourself in danger” Jane says. “Yeah! Mom and Dad are right”. Elroy says in a nasally voice. “You should be ashamed of yourself” adds Rosey the Robot. “Ruff ruff” says Astro. Judy then says “Whatever”, but she wasn’t even talking about the same thing as them and Orbitty says (never mind, I was going to have Orbitty say something but in all honesty I can’t remember if Orbitty actually talks or not). Baron Fel and Maverick are holding their own nicely against the 12 remaining Droid Fighter Ships. Fel and Maverick each managed to take out 2 (1, 4, 6, & 12) with relative ease when Baron Fel tries the crazy plan that Darth Nihilus had thought of before the battle. Droid Ship #2 gets behind Fel’s Interceptor, so Fel opens up the hatch and Darth Nihilus pops out. Darth Nihilus ignites his lightsaber and cuts the ship right down the middle, but Lord Nihilus in his arrogance believes that once he is out in the open he can destroy the rest of the ships just as easily. He is proven wrong as his free-floating body is blow apart by Droid Ship #10. Flash is running circles around his opponents as if he actually has ground to move on when Guy Gardner puts up a thick wall of yellow energy in the path of Barry Allen. The Flash though unlimitlessly fast unfortunately cannot stop quite fast enough as he I disintegrated by the Quwardian ring’s power. Miss Martian then blasts Guy Gardner with her eye beams from behind to take him by surprise and to take out the former green lantern. Atrocikus battles with John Stewart while Silver Surfer rips thru Alan Scott’s green energy defenses to destroy the Golden Age Green Lantern and move on to Power Girl. Atrocikus’ fury overpowers John Stewart’s power as he blocks the attack from Stewart’s green ring and then rains down a fury of red energy swords thru the body of John Stewart. Silver Surfer doubles back to avenge John Stewart while Power Girl squares off with Miss Martian. Power Girl grabs a hold of Miss Martian and launches her an amazing distance away. Power Girl than begins to fly over to the Martian to finish her off but Hecate is already there. In all of her travels Hecate has learned the weaknesses of many planetary beings which is why she grabs Miss Martian and opts for a flame attack which easily destroys her. Silver Surfer flies directly thru the red energy attack of Atrocikus and blasts him with so much cosmic energy that it is hard to tell if he imploded or exploded. Maverick and Baron Fel are tied at 5 droid ship kills each when Power Girl comes flying up and blows apart the last one with her heat vision, filling both of the pilots with disappointment. Silver Surfer than ends this playful exchange when he flies in and blows Baron Fel’s Tie Interceptor apart with his cosmic blasts. Power Girl chases him down and the 2 of them begin pounding on each other with their fists with enough force to bring down a skyscraper. Power Girl knocks the surfer off of his board but when Power Girl follows the fallen surfer to continue her attack The Silver Surfer uses his telepathic link to summon the board back to him. On the way back to retrieve its master The Silver Surfer has the board the fly right into the back of Power Girl’s head, stunning her. Silver Surfer than grabs a hold of his supposedly indestructible board and puts a bend in it as he brings it down hard onto Power Girl’s skull. Silver Surfer then feels a strange feeling come over him as he climbs back on his surf board to resume the battle. Once the telepathic link between the board and the surfer was made to go over a much larger than normal distance Darth Sideous was able to use the unnatural powers of the force to gain a mental foothold on the situation and bring the Silver Surfer in closer without him destroying what was left of the team. Palpatine orders George Jetson to slowly fly over to Silver Surfer and surrender. Jane says “have you seen my wig around, I feel naked without it” oh wait that’s a song I meant to say Jane says “George, don’t do it. This is a death match, we aren’t allowed to surrender”. “DO IT”! Palpatine yells. So George listens. When the Jetsons put on their breathing apparatuses and open their cockpit to surrender to the mighty sentinel of the skies The Silver Surfer says “I feel no joy in destroying lesser life forms but this is a death match and I must do what is necessary”. Then Palpatine, who appeared to the Silver Surfer to be a crippled old man in the corner, throws off his black robe and blasts Silver Surfer with an enormous and deadly amount of Sith Lightning (so much that it shorted out and blew up Rosey and killed Elroy). The Dark Lord of the Sith then jumps out of the cockpit and onto the surf board while he is igniting his red lightsaber. Palpatine then force pushes the stunned Silver Surfer off of his own board and flies in to give him enough momentum to stick his lightsaber thru the hardened protective skin of Silver Surfer. It only takes Palpatine a few minutes on the way back to the base to convince the Jetsons that Elroy and Rosey’s death were Silver Surfer’s fault and that they were the battle’s true heroes.
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
Le Napoleon Brigade is Emperor Palpatine, Darth Nihilus, Duncan Idaho Ghola #2, Allia Atreides Ghola, Guy Gardner (w/ yellow ring), Power Girl, Skyfire, Allia Atreides, Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, Hecate, Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Man at Arms & Teela, The Jetsons: George, Judy, Jane, Elroy, Astro, Rosey, & Orbitty, Maverick & Astro-Droid #1 in an X-Wing, Atrocikus, Alan Scott, Squeezeplay & Locos, Baron Soontir Fel in a Tie Interceptor, Storm Trooper #51-63, Silver Dragon #2-13, Coleman Trebor, Anakin Solo, Leia Organa (Jedi), Jedi Knight #1-5, Scary Spice, Baby Spice, & Ginger Spice.
The Right Wing is Jedi Knight #16-23, Elite Storm Trooper #1-9, Agent #1 & 2, Jedi Padawan #2-6, & 38, Droid Fighter Ship #1-13, Silver Surfer, Mr. Freeze, Flash, John Stewart, Storm, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Quinlon Vos, Red Sonja, Darth Malack, Capt. Mifune, Black Panther, E.T., Druscilla, & Miss Martian.
Although the Brigade still has several free-floating members to its team in this Milky Way setting, a good portion of their team are being protected by vehicles. Both Idahos and both Allias, along with Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Man at Arms, & Teela are up in Skyfire’s cockpit area while Coleman Trebor, Anakin Solo, Leia, the 5 Jedis, the 3 spice girls, & The Storm Troopers are in the cargo hold. Skyfire and Hecate flank one another as they move toward The Right Wing’s base of operations. Maverick in his X-Wing is working as a reluctant wing man to Baron Fel in his Tie Interceptor, which has Darth Nihilus stowed away in its small cargo hold. Palpatine (probably due to some sort of force manipulation) has some how managed to grab a seat riding along with the Jetsons in their family space ship. The Right Wing does not have vehicles to support its team but before the battle even begins Mr. Freeze makes an enormous ice meteor which is large enough to support the non-flying members of the team. Once Capt. Mifune and Darth Malack see what Mr. Freeze is capable of they order the team to sit tight and wait for the Brigade to make the first move. Mr. Freeze then builds up the sides of the team’s new icy home so they can easily fortify their position. The 10 Silver Dragons are having some trouble flying with the grace that they are used to without the benefit of gravity so the 13 Droid Fighter ships zoom in and make short work of them with their lasers, except for Silver Dragon #2 who manages to bite down hard on Droid fighter #3, causing it to join them in destruction. A fairly large dogfight ensues when the 12 remaining droid ships all gang up on the 2 fighter ships of the Brigade but; the Brigade’s pilots are much more adept than droid piloted ships. While the stars are being lit up by the firefight Hecate, Skyfire, and George Jetson fly in carefully toward the heavily guarded iceberg of The Right Wing. Not so cautiously coming in to the Right Wing’s base of operations are the 3 unlikely lantern teammates of Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, & Atrocikus being led by Power Girl; but they are diverted from the mini ice planet by John Stewart, Miss Martian, Flash, & Silver Surfer who draw them away to do battle away from the rest of the less than comfortable space fighters. As the 3 ships and Squeezeplay approach, Hecate swings underneath the iceberg while Skyfire and George Jetson fly up to drop their troops on the surface so the battle can begin. Skyfire goes thru with the plan but Darth Sideous convinces George to swing back around and not yet land on the ice. Under heavy fire from the Right Wing Skyfire manages a daring landing on the icy surface and opens up his rear hatch in order to let out the Brigade. The first wave is the 13 Storm Troopers led by Jedi Knight #4, but they are quickly mowed down by the 9 well covered Elite Storm Troopers. Only Elite Trooper #6 is killed in the initial attack. The 13 Storm Troopers do not die in vain though as they make the perfect diversion for the rest of the Brigade to run safely out of Skyfire and begin their attack on The Right Wing. Capt. Mifune sees that their original line has been broken which prompts him to yell “Charge”!! On his command the 9 Elite Storm Troopers Duncan Idaho #6, Red Sonja, & Black Panther run (more like moon jump) toward their oncoming attackers. Squeezeplay lands, diverting the attention of the Jedi Knights. Squeezeplay’s head, Locos transforms into robot form while Squeezeplay transforms into his crab from. The Elite Storm Troopers take aim at the Spice Girls but only Baby Spice is shot because her obese body was large enough to cover the other 2 Spice Girls and protect them from the time being. Scary Spice, or as some call her pepper picks up Jedi Knight #4’s lightsaber and ignites it while Ginger Spice screams her anti-Right Wing battle cry: “Bloody Conservatives, if it weren’t fer you I wilst of had ta change me name from Sexy Spice”. The 2 Spice girls get an A for effort for this brief show of heroism but Capt. Mifune quickly rips them to shreds in his waking tank like apparatus. Man at Arms and Teela find it weird that they are not the only ones wielding medieval type melee weapons in space as they rush toward Red Sonja and use their sword/hammer duo to rip open Sonja’s space suit and expose her to the elements. Drusilla dodges a lightsaber swing from Anakin Solo and then uses her razor sharp nails to rip open his space suit. E.T. begins wrestling around on the space tundra with Allia’s ghola. Despite E.T. being much more comfortable in his surroundings, the toddler killer manages to rip out E.T.’s trachea. Skyfire transforms into his large robot form and stomps on Black Panther and Duncan Idaho #6 but the 2 Agents come running in at speeds that are not possible in space and jump on to the back of the Autobot Jet. The 2 Agents ferociously pound on the Transformer with their fists to make several fairly large holes in his hull and then use their .50 caliber pistols to blast inside of the barely functioning Skyfire and extinguish his spark. Coleman Trebor is being flanked by Jedi Knight #2 as he runs up to do battle with Darth Malack. Master Trebor swings his green lightsaber hard at Lord Malack’s already damaged jaw but Malack ducks out of the way and puts his crimson blade into the chest of Coleman Trebor. The Sith Lord then spins around and takes out Jedi Knight #2 with ease. Mr. Freeze blasts Wonder Woman with his freeze gun and then Quinlon Vos uses the force to rip off another chunk of ice and throw it at Wonder Woman cracking the Amazon princess in half. In a rage Wonder Girl plows thru Elite Storm Troopers #1, 2, & 7 killing them all and ripping Trooper #7’s helmet off during her attack. Wonder Woman’s trusted sidekick then takes the helmet and rockets it at the head of Quinlon Vos cracking open his space helmet and killing the Jedi Master. Squeeze Play uses its claws to rip apart Jedi Knights #19 & 22, as well as Padawan #5, but the remaining 11 Jedis prove to be to much for the Decepticon as Jedi Knight #16 and his padawan (#2) use their lightsabers to finish off Squeezeplay by removing his metal crustacean head. Just when the Jedis believe that they have a moment to rest Locos comes running in to avenge his partner. Taken off guard by the small robot, Locos uses his mini laser cannon to take out Jedi Knights #17, 18, & 23, & Jedi Padawan #4. But Jedi Knight #20 finally kicks the little Decepticon over so his padawan (#6) can stab his lightsaber into the chest of Locos to finish him off. Jedi Knights #1, 3, & 5, led by Leia Organa-Solo move against Capt. Mifune. The Jedi swing their lightsabers rapidly to block the bullets shot by Mifune but Leia leaves the mini battle when she sees an opportunity to go after Drusilla. The Jedi knows that she shouldn’t leave her post and that attachment and revenge are 2 emotions forbidden by the Jedi order, but after what Drusilla did to her son Anakin she can not let her get away. Drusilla leaps at Leia with her nails and teeth exposed to the frigid space but Leia, despite being restrained by a space suit moves with an amazing grace as she avenges her son and relieves Drusilla of her head. Capt. Mifune catches Jedi Knight #1 with a bullet to the head while the other 2 Jedi jump on top of the monstrous piece of equipment that Mifune is maneuvering. Mifune throws Jedi #5 off of him into the side of an icy mountain, breaking his back but before he can do the same to Jedi #3, the Jedi sticks his lightsaber thru the protective bars of Mifune’s contraption and into the defender of Zion’s head. The recent widow Storm is having trouble working her powers in space without an atmosphere to draw from but she conjures up a lightning bolt and sends it into the head of Duncan Idaho #2. As Duncan lay dead, his wife Allia and his future clone Duncan Idaho #12 rush in at amazing speeds to kill Storm with their Atreides blades. Wonder Girl is still hell bent on avenging the death of Wonder Woman so she moves against Mr. Freeze next. She jumps out of the way of his initial ice blast and then punches thru his helmet. This does not kill him as he is still being supported by Oxygen and is unaffected by the cold but once she gets her powerful hand around his throat and gives a good squeeze, it is over fairly quickly for Victor Freeze. Man at Arms and Teela would be a great match for a couple of Jedis and their padawans back home on Eternia but here their weapons are of not much use and they fall pretty quickly to them. Duncan Idaho #12 and the 2 Allias move with the speed of great fighters but have little experience in a space suit. This proves fatal to them as the 2 Agents fight effortlessly in the space surroundings and rip them to shreds. Leia and Wonder Girl stand alone on the ice meteor, out-numbered 13 to 2. Wonder Girl turns to Leia and says “your highness, I think it is time for plan B”. Leia replies with “I said before I didn’t want to go thru with it. Especially when we didn’t get you off in time. The Watchers said that if you die one more time than you aren’t getting resurrected”. “Just do it” Wonder Girl says in reply, “it is our only chance; I just wish I had gotten to know some of you season 2 people a little better”. “I’ll see you in the graveyard, Wonder Girl” Leia says as she uses her communicator to contact Hecate; who, from below the floating iceberg blasts it with a rocket killing all of the people on it. George Jetson turns to Palpatine in his car and says “what the hell are we doing Palpatine”? Those were are friends who just got killed on that iceberg and we just sat in here doing nothing the entire time”. “We have more important things to do for this mission”. Sideous replies. “No! I think you just don’t want to put yourself in danger” Jane says. “Yeah! Mom and Dad are right”. Elroy says in a nasally voice. “You should be ashamed of yourself” adds Rosey the Robot. “Ruff ruff” says Astro. Judy then says “Whatever”, but she wasn’t even talking about the same thing as them and Orbitty says (never mind, I was going to have Orbitty say something but in all honesty I can’t remember if Orbitty actually talks or not). Baron Fel and Maverick are holding their own nicely against the 12 remaining Droid Fighter Ships. Fel and Maverick each managed to take out 2 (1, 4, 6, & 12) with relative ease when Baron Fel tries the crazy plan that Darth Nihilus had thought of before the battle. Droid Ship #2 gets behind Fel’s Interceptor, so Fel opens up the hatch and Darth Nihilus pops out. Darth Nihilus ignites his lightsaber and cuts the ship right down the middle, but Lord Nihilus in his arrogance believes that once he is out in the open he can destroy the rest of the ships just as easily. He is proven wrong as his free-floating body is blow apart by Droid Ship #10. Flash is running circles around his opponents as if he actually has ground to move on when Guy Gardner puts up a thick wall of yellow energy in the path of Barry Allen. The Flash though unlimitlessly fast unfortunately cannot stop quite fast enough as he I disintegrated by the Quwardian ring’s power. Miss Martian then blasts Guy Gardner with her eye beams from behind to take him by surprise and to take out the former green lantern. Atrocikus battles with John Stewart while Silver Surfer rips thru Alan Scott’s green energy defenses to destroy the Golden Age Green Lantern and move on to Power Girl. Atrocikus’ fury overpowers John Stewart’s power as he blocks the attack from Stewart’s green ring and then rains down a fury of red energy swords thru the body of John Stewart. Silver Surfer doubles back to avenge John Stewart while Power Girl squares off with Miss Martian. Power Girl grabs a hold of Miss Martian and launches her an amazing distance away. Power Girl than begins to fly over to the Martian to finish her off but Hecate is already there. In all of her travels Hecate has learned the weaknesses of many planetary beings which is why she grabs Miss Martian and opts for a flame attack which easily destroys her. Silver Surfer flies directly thru the red energy attack of Atrocikus and blasts him with so much cosmic energy that it is hard to tell if he imploded or exploded. Maverick and Baron Fel are tied at 5 droid ship kills each when Power Girl comes flying up and blows apart the last one with her heat vision, filling both of the pilots with disappointment. Silver Surfer than ends this playful exchange when he flies in and blows Baron Fel’s Tie Interceptor apart with his cosmic blasts. Power Girl chases him down and the 2 of them begin pounding on each other with their fists with enough force to bring down a skyscraper. Power Girl knocks the surfer off of his board but when Power Girl follows the fallen surfer to continue her attack The Silver Surfer uses his telepathic link to summon the board back to him. On the way back to retrieve its master The Silver Surfer has the board the fly right into the back of Power Girl’s head, stunning her. Silver Surfer than grabs a hold of his supposedly indestructible board and puts a bend in it as he brings it down hard onto Power Girl’s skull. Silver Surfer then feels a strange feeling come over him as he climbs back on his surf board to resume the battle. Once the telepathic link between the board and the surfer was made to go over a much larger than normal distance Darth Sideous was able to use the unnatural powers of the force to gain a mental foothold on the situation and bring the Silver Surfer in closer without him destroying what was left of the team. Palpatine orders George Jetson to slowly fly over to Silver Surfer and surrender. Jane says “have you seen my wig around, I feel naked without it” oh wait that’s a song I meant to say Jane says “George, don’t do it. This is a death match, we aren’t allowed to surrender”. “DO IT”! Palpatine yells. So George listens. When the Jetsons put on their breathing apparatuses and open their cockpit to surrender to the mighty sentinel of the skies The Silver Surfer says “I feel no joy in destroying lesser life forms but this is a death match and I must do what is necessary”. Then Palpatine, who appeared to the Silver Surfer to be a crippled old man in the corner, throws off his black robe and blasts Silver Surfer with an enormous and deadly amount of Sith Lightning (so much that it shorted out and blew up Rosey and killed Elroy). The Dark Lord of the Sith then jumps out of the cockpit and onto the surf board while he is igniting his red lightsaber. Palpatine then force pushes the stunned Silver Surfer off of his own board and flies in to give him enough momentum to stick his lightsaber thru the hardened protective skin of Silver Surfer. It only takes Palpatine a few minutes on the way back to the base to convince the Jetsons that Elroy and Rosey’s death were Silver Surfer’s fault and that they were the battle’s true heroes.
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
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