The Mists have cleared and Mikatu has witnessed the following events unfold.
George Washington’s Slaves Are:
Amazo and Mr. & Mrs. Smith
La Napoleon Brigade is:
Jedi Leia Organa Solo, Jaina Solo, Vito Corleone and Sonny Corleone w/ red lightsaber, Terry Bradshaw with blue lightsaber
A smoldering minivan rolls slowly to a stop in a dimly lit parking lot. The only other vehicle in the lot is a small
1995 ford escort coupe. A calm rainbow pool of melted snow mixed with automotive oil erupts in a splash as the
front bumper finally loses its battle with gravity.
“Where are we?” says Amazo.
“Oh jesus! I forgot he was back there!” Exclaimed Mr. Smith, startled because Amazo had chosen to remain invisible during the ride to the bar.
Mrs. Smith, recovered from the shock of Mr. Smith’s shouting began to laugh uncontrollably.
Mr. Smith couldn’t help but laugh as well.
They both collapsed in a laughing fit until neither of them could see straight.
“ENOUGH!” yelled amazo. “I’m am sick and tired of you meatbags laughing at my expense… just because I’m not allowed to kill you doesn’t mean I have to go out of my way to save your skin in there…”
“Oh yeah,” Mrs. Smith said. “I guess this is the place. What kind of a bar is named the Double Deuce anyway?”
“You kidding me?” said a shocked Mr. Smith. “This is the bar from friggin Roadhouse! That’s awesome!”
“Oh god, are you wearing them?!” she said.
At this Amazo looked extremely confused. And began to ask “Wearing wha..?” When Mrs. Smith cut him off.
“You are wearing them! I thought we agreed, the ‘Crazy for Swayze’ boxer shorts were to be thrown away… they’re ancient and frankly I’m sick of seeing them in the wash EVERY DAY.”
At this Amazo became frustrated and grabbed the couple by their collars and walked them into the bar.
Inside the bar there is, an empty stool where the bouncer would sit. Nobody in the Double Deuce has had the heart to fight since his passing anyway. So the management never bothered to replace him. Today they'll probably regret that decision
In a booth, in the far back, there is a group of people packed in tightly. Before the chaos erupts you can hear the following exchange:
"Why on earth would you order Spaghetti at 1:45 in the morning..." said Terry Bradshaw who was absently patting his lightsaber.
"Why wouldn't I?" said Vito Corleone, it's my favorite food.
"I thought they only served stuff from the fryer after midnight." Said Sonny Corleone, who was comparing his red lightsaber to Terry's.
"Let's just say... I made the cook an offer he couldn't refuse." replied Vito.
"You did not threaten that man or his family did you!?" said Leia, who was furious at the thought.
"What!? No, Mom, I was totally there, he just slipped the guy an extra $20. I mean it's just boiled noodles, I think he overpaid him if anything..." said Jaina Solo trying to calm her mother down.
"Lookout!" shouted Bradshaw, as the door opened.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith immediately took up protected offensive positions, Mr. Smith turned over the pool table and his wife layed down covering fire with their MP5-PDW's that they had managed to grab before Amazo hauled them into the bar.
"Reload!" shouted Mrs. Smith tossing the extra MP5 to her husband.
Mr. Smith immediately opened fire on the table, striking Vito Corleone in the head.
"One down, and Reload!" he said, with a look of grim determination on his face dropping a magazine and reaching for another.
Mrs. Smith was about to lay down more cover fire when Amazo leapt over the table and flew at the booth in the corner.
His robotic body ignored that his right arm had been severed. Terry Bradshaw's blue lightsaber sending it flying back towards the door. Amazo slammed into Jaina Solo crushing her skull with a single punch from his left arm.
As he stood to attack Bradshaw, he was sliced into pieces by Leia and force thrown back at Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
The couple ducked back behind the pool table to avoid the pieces and regroup.
"Nobody Ever Wins a Fight..." said Mr. Smith...
"Really? is now the time for roadhouse quotes?" responded Mrs. Smith.
"It's always time for Roadhouse honey." he said back. Tossing a concussion grenade towards the booth.
"I am burning those damned shorts when we get out of th.."
[boom]
Recovering quickly from the blast, Leia and Terry both moved in slowly, one on each side of the pool table lightsabers at the ready.
Sonny, Furious with anger at the loss of Vito roared and sprinted between them, his red lightsaber flashing through the smoky air.
Sonny vaulted over the pool table, Leia and Terry both shouting for him to stay back. But it was too late.
On the other side of the table was Amazo's right arm, the fist still gripped, Holding a detonator attached to a sizable brick of C4.
Amazo's head began to laugh in the corner. "Haha this is going to suck, but it'll be totally worth it!"
[Big Bada Boom]
The resulting explosion ripped through the bar, killing Sonny instantly, and causing lethal injuries to Leia and Terry Bradshaw who barely managed to crawl clear of the rubble before bleeding out.
"You can keep the boxers..." said Mrs. Smith.
"Nah, they're totally ruined anyway... that concussion grenade went off WAY closer than I thought it would... Gave you time to rig the explosive though... "
"Gross... You're riding in the back of the van."
Slaves: Mr. And Mrs. Smith survive. Amazo is in several pieces but still operational
Brigade: All Dead.
George Washington's Slaves are Victorious!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
TEAM S.P. vs. THE ABOMITRONS
“This place resembles its name, rustic.”
―Chris M. –Judysbook.com
I transport the combatants to the Rustic Pub located in Farmington, Michigan, for this Week 1 Match. They are as follows:
Team S.P.: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, The Drummer and Ambrose Chase.
The Abomitrons: Hancock, Immel # 20 (Iron Jedi), Kyle Houslander, Zachary Houslander, Ewok #47 and Ewok #51.
I “watch” the following events take place. . . .
Outside the Pub
Both Kyle and Zachary Houslander are not allowed into the Pub since they are minors. They stand outside and wait for their chance to enter the bar without being noticed.
Inside the Pub
Inside the Pub, Ewoks #47 and #51 trot through the watering hole with spears. The Endor inhabitants look for prey. As they walk, the cash register, credit card machine, television, juke box, surveillance camera, microwave and all remaining electrical devices go haywire. The Ewoks are discombobulated at the events. The two look around the bar and see the Drummer silently laughing to himself. He has used his physiological connection to information sources (i.e., electronic signals, radio waves, etc.) to interface with the bar’s equipment. With the Ewoks distracted, Elijah Snow uses his abilities to freeze the Ewoks. The Ewoks are frozen. Jakita Wagner runs into, and smashes, the teddy-bear-like participants. Frozen pieces of Ewoks #47 and 51 litter the floor.
Outside/Inside
Kyle and Zack see a trash can on the side of the pub. Above the can is the bathroom window. The two jump on the can, shimmy up a drainpipe and open the window. They both drop to the bathroom floor inside the Pub. The two think it better to go to the bathroom before they begin the fight-they are briefly detained.
Inside
Immel #20 takes action. Elijah Snow freezes the armor encased Immel #20. Immel #20 shakes it off. Snow shoots ice projectiles at Immel #20. Immel uses his lightsaber to batter the icicles away. Immel wades his way through Snow’s ice weapons and reaches the Planetary iceman. Snow is sliced in half. Immel #20 then focuses his sights on the Drummer. Ambrose Chase comes to the rescue of his teammate. Chase uses his psychic field to manipulate the effects of both time and gravity around himself and the others in the Pub. Chase slows time to a near-halt, redirects gravity to allow himself to run up the wall and flips down behind Immel #20. While Immel is frozen in space, Chase takes the lightsaber from Immel’s hand and cuts off his head. Immel #20’s body falls to the ground.
Inside the Bathroom
Kyle and Zack look at their teammates’ decimation; only Hancock survives. If the Abomitrons are to win the match, the two Houslanders know that they better come up with a plan, pretty darn quick.
Inside the Bar
Hancock decides that it is his time to shine for the Abomitrons. He is immediately met by Jakita Wagner. The two tussle and destroy half the bar while they fight; they are evenly matched. The Houslanders see the Drummer sitting at the bar. Knowing that he is crazy, they decide to do something equally as crazy: talk to him face to face. Zack walks over to the Drummer and sits down in the barstool next to the Planetary member. The Drummer is aghast at the audacity of this mere child. He and is about to use his abilities on Zack, when Kyle comes from behind with the bar’s fountain drink hose. Kyle chokes the Drummer with the hose and Zack soon joins him. The two Houslanders manage to strangle the Drummer to death.
Meanwhile, across the establishment, Hancock finally gets the upper hand, and although beaten down, manages to kill Jakita. Wiped out after the bitter battle, Hancock falls to his knees in exhaustion. Ambrose Chase uses his power to warp the realities of gravity and time. He breaks a chair and uses the sharpened leg as a spike. He drives the wood through Hancock’s eye.
Chase looks to the Houslander children who have just killed the Drummer. Although he does not want to, Chase knows what he must do. . . . and, in fact, does.
Team S.P.: Chase Ambrose lives.
The Abomitrons: All dead.
TEAM S.P. IS VICTORIOUS!!!
―Chris M. –Judysbook.com
I transport the combatants to the Rustic Pub located in Farmington, Michigan, for this Week 1 Match. They are as follows:
Team S.P.: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, The Drummer and Ambrose Chase.
The Abomitrons: Hancock, Immel # 20 (Iron Jedi), Kyle Houslander, Zachary Houslander, Ewok #47 and Ewok #51.
I “watch” the following events take place. . . .
Outside the Pub
Both Kyle and Zachary Houslander are not allowed into the Pub since they are minors. They stand outside and wait for their chance to enter the bar without being noticed.
Inside the Pub
Inside the Pub, Ewoks #47 and #51 trot through the watering hole with spears. The Endor inhabitants look for prey. As they walk, the cash register, credit card machine, television, juke box, surveillance camera, microwave and all remaining electrical devices go haywire. The Ewoks are discombobulated at the events. The two look around the bar and see the Drummer silently laughing to himself. He has used his physiological connection to information sources (i.e., electronic signals, radio waves, etc.) to interface with the bar’s equipment. With the Ewoks distracted, Elijah Snow uses his abilities to freeze the Ewoks. The Ewoks are frozen. Jakita Wagner runs into, and smashes, the teddy-bear-like participants. Frozen pieces of Ewoks #47 and 51 litter the floor.
Outside/Inside
Kyle and Zack see a trash can on the side of the pub. Above the can is the bathroom window. The two jump on the can, shimmy up a drainpipe and open the window. They both drop to the bathroom floor inside the Pub. The two think it better to go to the bathroom before they begin the fight-they are briefly detained.
Inside
Immel #20 takes action. Elijah Snow freezes the armor encased Immel #20. Immel #20 shakes it off. Snow shoots ice projectiles at Immel #20. Immel uses his lightsaber to batter the icicles away. Immel wades his way through Snow’s ice weapons and reaches the Planetary iceman. Snow is sliced in half. Immel #20 then focuses his sights on the Drummer. Ambrose Chase comes to the rescue of his teammate. Chase uses his psychic field to manipulate the effects of both time and gravity around himself and the others in the Pub. Chase slows time to a near-halt, redirects gravity to allow himself to run up the wall and flips down behind Immel #20. While Immel is frozen in space, Chase takes the lightsaber from Immel’s hand and cuts off his head. Immel #20’s body falls to the ground.
Inside the Bathroom
Kyle and Zack look at their teammates’ decimation; only Hancock survives. If the Abomitrons are to win the match, the two Houslanders know that they better come up with a plan, pretty darn quick.
Inside the Bar
Hancock decides that it is his time to shine for the Abomitrons. He is immediately met by Jakita Wagner. The two tussle and destroy half the bar while they fight; they are evenly matched. The Houslanders see the Drummer sitting at the bar. Knowing that he is crazy, they decide to do something equally as crazy: talk to him face to face. Zack walks over to the Drummer and sits down in the barstool next to the Planetary member. The Drummer is aghast at the audacity of this mere child. He and is about to use his abilities on Zack, when Kyle comes from behind with the bar’s fountain drink hose. Kyle chokes the Drummer with the hose and Zack soon joins him. The two Houslanders manage to strangle the Drummer to death.
Meanwhile, across the establishment, Hancock finally gets the upper hand, and although beaten down, manages to kill Jakita. Wiped out after the bitter battle, Hancock falls to his knees in exhaustion. Ambrose Chase uses his power to warp the realities of gravity and time. He breaks a chair and uses the sharpened leg as a spike. He drives the wood through Hancock’s eye.
Chase looks to the Houslander children who have just killed the Drummer. Although he does not want to, Chase knows what he must do. . . . and, in fact, does.
Team S.P.: Chase Ambrose lives.
The Abomitrons: All dead.
TEAM S.P. IS VICTORIOUS!!!
BRUCE’S BODACIOUS BULLIES vs. THE UNTOUCHABLES
“With crests and Union Jacks tucked among the dark beams, this cozy pub just a block from the Algiers Point ferry looks like the classic English watering hole.” Are you looking for an evening out with an Irish flare?”
―The Times-Picayune
In honor of my heritage and one of my favorite places, I transport the combatants to the Crown and Anchor located in New Orleans, Louisiana, for this Week 1 Match. They are as follows:
Bruce’s Bodacious Bullies: Patriot, Hulkling and Speed.
Untouchables: Red Lantern Guy Gardner and Punisher.
I “watch” the following events take place. . . .
The Punisher has created a barricade of tables and chairs in the corner of the establishment. He locates Patriot through his sniper scope and fires his rifle at the Young Avenger. Patriot sees the Punisher and easily deflects the bullets with his shield. Patriot rushes over to the Punisher’s location and manages to remove some of the protective debris, while deflecting bullets with his shield. As he is about to break through, he is thrown across the room by a “hand-like” projection from Guy Gardner’s green lantern ring. While Gardner is tussling with Patriot, Speed is quickly removing the remaining furniture away from the Punisher, who has now become an easy target. The last table is removed and the Punisher is ready for Speed. Although Speed, at first, avoids the spray of bullets from the Punisher’s guns (now double fisted), Speed is eventually grazed in the left ankle as he runs across the room. Speed falls to the floor and the Punisher instantly reacts. The Punisher steps over Speed, who is quickly bandaging his wounded ankle with a bar apron.
Punisher: You must be punished. . . for being a Bully.
As Speed is about to vibrate, the Punisher fires at Speed’s head and kills the youngster. The Punisher turns around and is hit squarely from behind by Hulkling. Due to Hulkling’s strength, three of the Punisher’s ribs are broken. The Punisher has trouble breathing, but slowly rises from the floor. The last thing the Punisher sees is Patriot’s shield as it decapitates the vigilante’s head from his body.
Patriot and Hulkling take combat-ready stances and focus on Gardner. Hulkling jumps on Gardner’s back and manages to reach Gardner’s right hand, which has the green lantern ring on it. Hulkling crushes Gardner’s hand and the green lantern ring falls to the floor and into a grate. Patriot runs to the grate, ready to locate the green lantern ring and use it against Gardner. Meanwhile, Gardner has crashed to the ground in agony at the Hulkling’s damage to his hand. Gardner’s rage fills his body and his red lantern ring flares alive. The blast engulfs Hulkling and shreds him apart. Patriot instantly reacts and moves from the grate and away from his search for the ring.
Gardner: Time to die, pup!
Gardner unleashes the full power of the red lantern ring upon Patriot. Patriot’s shield is not enough as Patriot is destroyed. . . only his shield remains.
Bullies: All Dead.
The Untouchables: Red Lantern Guy Gardner lives.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
―The Times-Picayune
In honor of my heritage and one of my favorite places, I transport the combatants to the Crown and Anchor located in New Orleans, Louisiana, for this Week 1 Match. They are as follows:
Bruce’s Bodacious Bullies: Patriot, Hulkling and Speed.
Untouchables: Red Lantern Guy Gardner and Punisher.
I “watch” the following events take place. . . .
The Punisher has created a barricade of tables and chairs in the corner of the establishment. He locates Patriot through his sniper scope and fires his rifle at the Young Avenger. Patriot sees the Punisher and easily deflects the bullets with his shield. Patriot rushes over to the Punisher’s location and manages to remove some of the protective debris, while deflecting bullets with his shield. As he is about to break through, he is thrown across the room by a “hand-like” projection from Guy Gardner’s green lantern ring. While Gardner is tussling with Patriot, Speed is quickly removing the remaining furniture away from the Punisher, who has now become an easy target. The last table is removed and the Punisher is ready for Speed. Although Speed, at first, avoids the spray of bullets from the Punisher’s guns (now double fisted), Speed is eventually grazed in the left ankle as he runs across the room. Speed falls to the floor and the Punisher instantly reacts. The Punisher steps over Speed, who is quickly bandaging his wounded ankle with a bar apron.
Punisher: You must be punished. . . for being a Bully.
As Speed is about to vibrate, the Punisher fires at Speed’s head and kills the youngster. The Punisher turns around and is hit squarely from behind by Hulkling. Due to Hulkling’s strength, three of the Punisher’s ribs are broken. The Punisher has trouble breathing, but slowly rises from the floor. The last thing the Punisher sees is Patriot’s shield as it decapitates the vigilante’s head from his body.
Patriot and Hulkling take combat-ready stances and focus on Gardner. Hulkling jumps on Gardner’s back and manages to reach Gardner’s right hand, which has the green lantern ring on it. Hulkling crushes Gardner’s hand and the green lantern ring falls to the floor and into a grate. Patriot runs to the grate, ready to locate the green lantern ring and use it against Gardner. Meanwhile, Gardner has crashed to the ground in agony at the Hulkling’s damage to his hand. Gardner’s rage fills his body and his red lantern ring flares alive. The blast engulfs Hulkling and shreds him apart. Patriot instantly reacts and moves from the grate and away from his search for the ring.
Gardner: Time to die, pup!
Gardner unleashes the full power of the red lantern ring upon Patriot. Patriot’s shield is not enough as Patriot is destroyed. . . only his shield remains.
Bullies: All Dead.
The Untouchables: Red Lantern Guy Gardner lives.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
TEAM vs. BUILT (BILL) FORD TOUGH
"The Big Chief Burger you are gulping down, a piece of local history"
―Daily Tribune
With St. Patrick’s Day on the horizon, I transport the teams for this Week 1 Match to Duggan’s Irish Pub in Royal Oak, Michigan. They are as follows:
Team: Ultraman, Jared Pilkington, Crippled Pete Sosa and Boken.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: Han Solo, Chewbacca, Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford, Barry Sanders, Mr. T and Treasure Troll #26.
Crippled Pete Sosa scans the opposing team’s participants in an attempt to focus on the one Built (Bill) Ford Tough member he can defeat and finally finds it – Treasure Troll #26. Sosa hobbles over to the Troll who clenches his fists in anticipation of the fight. The skirmish is short lived as “CP” (Crippled Pete) uses his left crutch to pin Troll #26 against the wall. The Troll’s hair fans out and momentarily blinds CP. CP overcomes the furious, furry, feisty freak and uses his right crutch to smash Troll #26’s head against the wall. . . repeatedly. Treasure Troll #26’s battered and bloodied body falls to the floor.
Mr. T sees his fallen comrade and uses his pre-A-Team, bouncer abilities to quickly reach CP. He drags CP across the bar, breaking liquor bottles and glasses along the way. CP attempts, but fails, to drink the liquor as he slides across the paneled countertop. CP hits the floor and slowly gets up. As soon as he is standing, CP is struck by Barry Sanders barreling into him. CP’s body falls to the floor, once again. Sanders moves CP’s head to the foot rail hung at the bottom of the bar and wraps his near-unconscious mouth around the pole. Mr. T stomps on CP’s head and gives him his bar-version of a curb-job. CP’s neck is broken and he dies. Ultraman flies over to the scene and crushes the heads of Mr. T and Barry Sanders by smashing them together.
Jared Pilkington is in shock at seeing the gruesome demise of his friend CP. As he rushes over to pay his respects, he is met by Indiana Jones’ whip. The whip slashes the top of Pilkington’s pants off. Pilkington looks down to see his underwear (boxers or briefs – that question will remain private) on the floor. Harrison Ford sees Pilkington dismayed and strikes him over the head with a chair. Pilkington falls down to his knees in front of Harrison Ford. He is then met with Indy’s whip around his neck. Pilkington reacts instantly and pulls the whip. Jones lets go of the whip and sees the end of his weapon-of-choice fly in the air. The ceiling fan catches the whip and carries Pilkington up in the air as it rotates around the fan’s base. Ford and Jones watch as Pilkington begins to be strangled, his pants around his knees and legs flailing in the air. Pilkington’s head hits the fan and his neck snaps. Before he dies, Pilkington hopes that the FFL coroners do not label his death as one of autoerotic asphyxiation.
Boken confidently walks over to the scene and kills Harrison Ford by impaling him with a leg of the same chair used in Pilkington’s demise. As Boken looks over, he sees Han Solo and Chewbacca sitting in a corner table. The smuggler and his co-pilot are about to get up when Boken comes over and urges them to sit back down. Before Boken can pull his weapon from his backpack, Han Solo (and Chewbacca) shoot first. Boken dies, flaming holes still smoking from his chest.
Han Solo and Chewbacca excuse themselves from the table and join Indian Jones. Without his whip, Indy meets his fate quickly at the hands of Ultraman. Han Solo and Chewbacca split up and begin to repeatedly fire at Ultraman. Although Ultraman takes what seems like a endless barrage of the laser fire, he eventually shakes it off and kills both Solo and Chewie. Han Solo and Chewbacca die in each other’s arms, kindred spirits to the end.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: All Dead.
Team: Ultraman lives.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!
―Daily Tribune
With St. Patrick’s Day on the horizon, I transport the teams for this Week 1 Match to Duggan’s Irish Pub in Royal Oak, Michigan. They are as follows:
Team: Ultraman, Jared Pilkington, Crippled Pete Sosa and Boken.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: Han Solo, Chewbacca, Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford, Barry Sanders, Mr. T and Treasure Troll #26.
Crippled Pete Sosa scans the opposing team’s participants in an attempt to focus on the one Built (Bill) Ford Tough member he can defeat and finally finds it – Treasure Troll #26. Sosa hobbles over to the Troll who clenches his fists in anticipation of the fight. The skirmish is short lived as “CP” (Crippled Pete) uses his left crutch to pin Troll #26 against the wall. The Troll’s hair fans out and momentarily blinds CP. CP overcomes the furious, furry, feisty freak and uses his right crutch to smash Troll #26’s head against the wall. . . repeatedly. Treasure Troll #26’s battered and bloodied body falls to the floor.
Mr. T sees his fallen comrade and uses his pre-A-Team, bouncer abilities to quickly reach CP. He drags CP across the bar, breaking liquor bottles and glasses along the way. CP attempts, but fails, to drink the liquor as he slides across the paneled countertop. CP hits the floor and slowly gets up. As soon as he is standing, CP is struck by Barry Sanders barreling into him. CP’s body falls to the floor, once again. Sanders moves CP’s head to the foot rail hung at the bottom of the bar and wraps his near-unconscious mouth around the pole. Mr. T stomps on CP’s head and gives him his bar-version of a curb-job. CP’s neck is broken and he dies. Ultraman flies over to the scene and crushes the heads of Mr. T and Barry Sanders by smashing them together.
Jared Pilkington is in shock at seeing the gruesome demise of his friend CP. As he rushes over to pay his respects, he is met by Indiana Jones’ whip. The whip slashes the top of Pilkington’s pants off. Pilkington looks down to see his underwear (boxers or briefs – that question will remain private) on the floor. Harrison Ford sees Pilkington dismayed and strikes him over the head with a chair. Pilkington falls down to his knees in front of Harrison Ford. He is then met with Indy’s whip around his neck. Pilkington reacts instantly and pulls the whip. Jones lets go of the whip and sees the end of his weapon-of-choice fly in the air. The ceiling fan catches the whip and carries Pilkington up in the air as it rotates around the fan’s base. Ford and Jones watch as Pilkington begins to be strangled, his pants around his knees and legs flailing in the air. Pilkington’s head hits the fan and his neck snaps. Before he dies, Pilkington hopes that the FFL coroners do not label his death as one of autoerotic asphyxiation.
Boken confidently walks over to the scene and kills Harrison Ford by impaling him with a leg of the same chair used in Pilkington’s demise. As Boken looks over, he sees Han Solo and Chewbacca sitting in a corner table. The smuggler and his co-pilot are about to get up when Boken comes over and urges them to sit back down. Before Boken can pull his weapon from his backpack, Han Solo (and Chewbacca) shoot first. Boken dies, flaming holes still smoking from his chest.
Han Solo and Chewbacca excuse themselves from the table and join Indian Jones. Without his whip, Indy meets his fate quickly at the hands of Ultraman. Han Solo and Chewbacca split up and begin to repeatedly fire at Ultraman. Although Ultraman takes what seems like a endless barrage of the laser fire, he eventually shakes it off and kills both Solo and Chewie. Han Solo and Chewbacca die in each other’s arms, kindred spirits to the end.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: All Dead.
Team: Ultraman lives.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Tom Bombadil, Haldir, Smurf #2, Ewoks #41-46, Special Agent Leroy Gibbs, Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, Timothy McGee, & Ziva David.
Xavier's Annihilation Squad is Geo-Force, Chameleon, Wookie #1-2, Zorro, and Treasure Troll #5.
This match begins with Tom Bombadil leading the Brotherhood in a song…
“We celebrate a day of peace,
a day of harmony,
a day of joy we all can share together joyously;
a day that takes us through the darkness,
a day that leads us into might,
a day that makes us want to celebrate the light;
a day that brings the promise that one day we'll be free...”
“Damn it Bombadil, shut up. That is a horrible song!” Special Agent Gibbs says to Tom. “But Gibbs, it’s Life Day today! It’s a day to celebrate,” replies Bombadil. “I’ll celebrate if we win this battle. Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is a formidable opponent. One that is not to be taken lightly,” Gibbs says. And just as Gibbs finishes saying that, Ziva David turns around and shoots her own teammates, DiNozzo and McGee. Haldir wastes no time and relieves Ziva of her head, which once he does, they come to find out that it was actually the Chameleon. The rest of the Annihilation Squad then attacks the Brotherhood. Zorro and Haldir engage in an amazing duel of swords as Wookie #1 & #2 are swarmed by the six Ewoks. Ewok #41 has his arms ripped from their sockets by Wookie #2 as Ewoks #42-46 climb all over Wookie #1 and stab him to death with their spears. Wookie #2 blasts Ewok #42, 44, and 45 as Ewoks #43 and #46 scurry in the trees. Treasure Troll #5 sets his eyes on Smurf #2. The two diminutive combatants attack each other with such ferocity that it shocked even this cold hearted Watcher. Both of them are wielding sharpened sticks, which Smurf #2 launches at the Treasure Troll, who barely dodges it. He then stabs Smurf #2 in the side with his stick. But the Smurf spins around the Treasure Troll, grabs the tall green hair and chokes him to death with it. However, that initial wound to the Smurf’s side proves to be a fatal one. Smurf #2 dies and fall on top of Treasure Troll #5’s body. They are then both stepped on by Wookie #2 who is still tracking the two remaining Ewoks. “Don’t worry little friends, I’ll help you,” says Tom Bombadil who lights Wookie #2 up like a Tree of Life with a blast of magic. Meanwhile, Haldir and Zorro are still locked in an awesome sword duel. Zorro pulls his whip out at tries to snare Haldir with it, but the Elf uses his speed to not only dodge the attack but also to cut the whip in half. He then pulls an arrow out and fires it into Zorro’s right shoulder. He then quickly fires one into his left knee. Haldir then finishes off his worthy opponent with a fatal stab with his sword. The final member of the Annihilation Squad then makes his presence known. Geo-Force uses his power to open the ground up which swallows Ewoks #43 and #46. He then uses an avalanche of rock to crush Haldir. Geo-Force, who is on quite the roll right now, focuses his power on Tom Bombadil. But Tom is able to deflect it with some magic of his own. Geo-Force then mustards all of his power to bring a surrounding wall of earth up around Tom, and just as he is about to kill the member of the Brotherhood, when he is shot right between the eyes by Gibbs, who had climbed up a wroshyr tree with his sniper rifle. “Ahh Gibby, I knew you had my back dear friend!” exclaims Tom Bombadil as the ground returns to normal. “Happy Life Day Tom,” replies Gibbs as they leave Kashyyyk.
THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!
Xavier's Annihilation Squad is Geo-Force, Chameleon, Wookie #1-2, Zorro, and Treasure Troll #5.
This match begins with Tom Bombadil leading the Brotherhood in a song…
“We celebrate a day of peace,
a day of harmony,
a day of joy we all can share together joyously;
a day that takes us through the darkness,
a day that leads us into might,
a day that makes us want to celebrate the light;
a day that brings the promise that one day we'll be free...”
“Damn it Bombadil, shut up. That is a horrible song!” Special Agent Gibbs says to Tom. “But Gibbs, it’s Life Day today! It’s a day to celebrate,” replies Bombadil. “I’ll celebrate if we win this battle. Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is a formidable opponent. One that is not to be taken lightly,” Gibbs says. And just as Gibbs finishes saying that, Ziva David turns around and shoots her own teammates, DiNozzo and McGee. Haldir wastes no time and relieves Ziva of her head, which once he does, they come to find out that it was actually the Chameleon. The rest of the Annihilation Squad then attacks the Brotherhood. Zorro and Haldir engage in an amazing duel of swords as Wookie #1 & #2 are swarmed by the six Ewoks. Ewok #41 has his arms ripped from their sockets by Wookie #2 as Ewoks #42-46 climb all over Wookie #1 and stab him to death with their spears. Wookie #2 blasts Ewok #42, 44, and 45 as Ewoks #43 and #46 scurry in the trees. Treasure Troll #5 sets his eyes on Smurf #2. The two diminutive combatants attack each other with such ferocity that it shocked even this cold hearted Watcher. Both of them are wielding sharpened sticks, which Smurf #2 launches at the Treasure Troll, who barely dodges it. He then stabs Smurf #2 in the side with his stick. But the Smurf spins around the Treasure Troll, grabs the tall green hair and chokes him to death with it. However, that initial wound to the Smurf’s side proves to be a fatal one. Smurf #2 dies and fall on top of Treasure Troll #5’s body. They are then both stepped on by Wookie #2 who is still tracking the two remaining Ewoks. “Don’t worry little friends, I’ll help you,” says Tom Bombadil who lights Wookie #2 up like a Tree of Life with a blast of magic. Meanwhile, Haldir and Zorro are still locked in an awesome sword duel. Zorro pulls his whip out at tries to snare Haldir with it, but the Elf uses his speed to not only dodge the attack but also to cut the whip in half. He then pulls an arrow out and fires it into Zorro’s right shoulder. He then quickly fires one into his left knee. Haldir then finishes off his worthy opponent with a fatal stab with his sword. The final member of the Annihilation Squad then makes his presence known. Geo-Force uses his power to open the ground up which swallows Ewoks #43 and #46. He then uses an avalanche of rock to crush Haldir. Geo-Force, who is on quite the roll right now, focuses his power on Tom Bombadil. But Tom is able to deflect it with some magic of his own. Geo-Force then mustards all of his power to bring a surrounding wall of earth up around Tom, and just as he is about to kill the member of the Brotherhood, when he is shot right between the eyes by Gibbs, who had climbed up a wroshyr tree with his sniper rifle. “Ahh Gibby, I knew you had my back dear friend!” exclaims Tom Bombadil as the ground returns to normal. “Happy Life Day Tom,” replies Gibbs as they leave Kashyyyk.
THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!
The Syracuse Valley vs P.M.S.
The Syracuse Valley is Movie Megatron, Movie Starscream, Moritani Soldier #1, Hammer Bros. #3 & Little Goomba #4.
P.M.S. are Armor, Magnetic Kid & Neytiri.
“This Pre-Season Match will end the EXACT same way as last year’s, Starscream. With our overwhelming victory against our opponent. And if it doesn’t… you will be the one who suffers the consequences,” growls Movie Megatron. “Yes, Lord Megatron. This expansion team should give us now problem whatsoever,” replies the subservient Movie Starscream. “Let the pawns attack first,” Megatron orders. Moritani Soldier #1, Hammer Bros. #3 and Little Goomba #4 make their way down the marshland of Kashyyyk and are attacked by Neytiri, Armor and Magnetic Kid. Neytiri leaps up and stomps Little Goomba #4 and then fires an arrow right at Hammer Bros. #3. But the Hammer Bros. is able to turn and deflect the arrow off of his shell. Moritani Soldier #1 charges at Armor, who he thinks will be an easy kill due to her young age, but she quickly sidesteps him and breaks his back with a vicious punch from her armor. “I may be a kid, but I’m a kid who’s been trained by Wolverine and Cyclops… Punk!” says Armor. Neytiri squares off against Hammer Bros. #3, who tosses several hammers right at the Na’vi princess. She evades the first hammer and catches the next one, which she then tosses right back at the Hammer Bros, who does not evade it and is killed with his own hammer. He then does the typically flip over and fall down to… well I don’t know… he just kind of fell out of sight. (You know, like in the video game.) “Arrggg!! Starscream get down there and clean this mess up! NOW!!” screams a very frustrated Megatron. Starscream then transforms into his F-22 Raptor mode and blasts down to the battle. Neytiri jumps up into the thick forest as Starscream bears down on Armor and Magnetic Kid, who thus far hasn’t done anything. That of course doesn’t last long, as he focuses his power directly on Starscream and rips him apart bolt by bolt. However, the debris that was once Starscream is hurling itself still at the two members of P.M.S. but Magnetic Kid is able to redirect out of harms way with his powers. “Too bad you don’t have telepathic abilities child, because then you would have seen me coming!” Megatron growls as he slams down crushing Magnetic Kid and Armor beneath his massive feet. He then start blasting at the trees wildly, trying to kill Neytiri. Megatron then lifts his feet up and finds that Armor is still alive, due to her protective psionic body armor. “Child. You impress me,” the Decepticon leader says to the mutant. Neytiri then runs in and tackles Armor out of the way from Megatron’s next attack. “Foolish meat sacks. I am Megatron! You cannot run from your fate,” he yells. Which of course, he ends up being right. Megatron transforms into his Cybertronian jet form and blast both P.M.S. members into oblivion.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!
P.M.S. are Armor, Magnetic Kid & Neytiri.
“This Pre-Season Match will end the EXACT same way as last year’s, Starscream. With our overwhelming victory against our opponent. And if it doesn’t… you will be the one who suffers the consequences,” growls Movie Megatron. “Yes, Lord Megatron. This expansion team should give us now problem whatsoever,” replies the subservient Movie Starscream. “Let the pawns attack first,” Megatron orders. Moritani Soldier #1, Hammer Bros. #3 and Little Goomba #4 make their way down the marshland of Kashyyyk and are attacked by Neytiri, Armor and Magnetic Kid. Neytiri leaps up and stomps Little Goomba #4 and then fires an arrow right at Hammer Bros. #3. But the Hammer Bros. is able to turn and deflect the arrow off of his shell. Moritani Soldier #1 charges at Armor, who he thinks will be an easy kill due to her young age, but she quickly sidesteps him and breaks his back with a vicious punch from her armor. “I may be a kid, but I’m a kid who’s been trained by Wolverine and Cyclops… Punk!” says Armor. Neytiri squares off against Hammer Bros. #3, who tosses several hammers right at the Na’vi princess. She evades the first hammer and catches the next one, which she then tosses right back at the Hammer Bros, who does not evade it and is killed with his own hammer. He then does the typically flip over and fall down to… well I don’t know… he just kind of fell out of sight. (You know, like in the video game.) “Arrggg!! Starscream get down there and clean this mess up! NOW!!” screams a very frustrated Megatron. Starscream then transforms into his F-22 Raptor mode and blasts down to the battle. Neytiri jumps up into the thick forest as Starscream bears down on Armor and Magnetic Kid, who thus far hasn’t done anything. That of course doesn’t last long, as he focuses his power directly on Starscream and rips him apart bolt by bolt. However, the debris that was once Starscream is hurling itself still at the two members of P.M.S. but Magnetic Kid is able to redirect out of harms way with his powers. “Too bad you don’t have telepathic abilities child, because then you would have seen me coming!” Megatron growls as he slams down crushing Magnetic Kid and Armor beneath his massive feet. He then start blasting at the trees wildly, trying to kill Neytiri. Megatron then lifts his feet up and finds that Armor is still alive, due to her protective psionic body armor. “Child. You impress me,” the Decepticon leader says to the mutant. Neytiri then runs in and tackles Armor out of the way from Megatron’s next attack. “Foolish meat sacks. I am Megatron! You cannot run from your fate,” he yells. Which of course, he ends up being right. Megatron transforms into his Cybertronian jet form and blast both P.M.S. members into oblivion.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!
The Untouchables vs Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches
The Untouchables are Legolas, Ent #1, Elven Soldier #1, Wily Kit, Wily Kat, & Pikachu.
Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches are Holocaust, Predator X #1, & Nightbird.
The team of Legolas, Elven Soldier #1, Pikachu, Wily Kit and Wily Kat carefully make their way down the side of a mountain and into the thick forest of Kashyyyk. “Thunder kittens, be careful, I sense danger ahead,” warns Legolas. But before they could even react, Predator X #1 burst through and attacks both Wily Kit and Wily Kat. The savage beast slashes and rips through Wily Kat’s torso as if it were warm butter. Wily Kit attempts to make a run for it, but Predator X #1 snatches down and bites the lower half of her body off. “Grrr, PIKA!!” shouts Pikachu as Wily Kit’s lifeless upper half falls next to him on the ground with the Thunder kitten’s dead eyes still staring at the Pokémon. Pikachu then in retaliation launches a massive bolt of electricity that knocks Predator X #1 into a worshyr tree. Legolas then leaps on top of it and fires several arrows into the mutant’s mercury covered hide. Predator X smacks the Elf off of it as it regains its footing. “Everyone fall back now!” orders Legolas as he continues to fire arrow after arrow into Predator X as it continues it’s hunt. The rest of B3’s team leaps out of the trees to attack as well. The robot ninja know as Nightbird flips out from high above as viciously kicks Elven Soldier #1 down. She the quickly swings her nunchaku down and crushes the Elven Soldier before he can even pull his sword from his sheath. Holocaust then sneaks up behind Legolas, who is still being tracked by Predator X #1. Holocaust takes aim on the Elf, but Legolas senses this and leaps out of the way of the energy blast, which ends up connecting with Predator X #1. Legolas then back flips up onto Holocaust’s crystalline exo-armor and fires three arrows into the base of his helmet. He then jumps off of it as his secret weapon reveals himself. Ent #1 raises his might leg and stomps Holocaust into the ground, killing him. Nightbird then starts climbing up Ent #1 and changes one of her hands into a saw blade. She then begins to cut through many of Ent #1’s branches, including his left arm. Ent #1 then grabs a hold of Nightbird and crushes her within his grasp. Then wounded Predator X isn’t about to give up and charges right at Legolas. Pikachu, however, leaps right at the snarling beast and is swallowed whole. This unfortunately was Pikachu’s plan all along, as in a brave sacrifice unloads a massive amount of electricity inside Predator X #1, frying it from the inside out.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches are Holocaust, Predator X #1, & Nightbird.
The team of Legolas, Elven Soldier #1, Pikachu, Wily Kit and Wily Kat carefully make their way down the side of a mountain and into the thick forest of Kashyyyk. “Thunder kittens, be careful, I sense danger ahead,” warns Legolas. But before they could even react, Predator X #1 burst through and attacks both Wily Kit and Wily Kat. The savage beast slashes and rips through Wily Kat’s torso as if it were warm butter. Wily Kit attempts to make a run for it, but Predator X #1 snatches down and bites the lower half of her body off. “Grrr, PIKA!!” shouts Pikachu as Wily Kit’s lifeless upper half falls next to him on the ground with the Thunder kitten’s dead eyes still staring at the Pokémon. Pikachu then in retaliation launches a massive bolt of electricity that knocks Predator X #1 into a worshyr tree. Legolas then leaps on top of it and fires several arrows into the mutant’s mercury covered hide. Predator X smacks the Elf off of it as it regains its footing. “Everyone fall back now!” orders Legolas as he continues to fire arrow after arrow into Predator X as it continues it’s hunt. The rest of B3’s team leaps out of the trees to attack as well. The robot ninja know as Nightbird flips out from high above as viciously kicks Elven Soldier #1 down. She the quickly swings her nunchaku down and crushes the Elven Soldier before he can even pull his sword from his sheath. Holocaust then sneaks up behind Legolas, who is still being tracked by Predator X #1. Holocaust takes aim on the Elf, but Legolas senses this and leaps out of the way of the energy blast, which ends up connecting with Predator X #1. Legolas then back flips up onto Holocaust’s crystalline exo-armor and fires three arrows into the base of his helmet. He then jumps off of it as his secret weapon reveals himself. Ent #1 raises his might leg and stomps Holocaust into the ground, killing him. Nightbird then starts climbing up Ent #1 and changes one of her hands into a saw blade. She then begins to cut through many of Ent #1’s branches, including his left arm. Ent #1 then grabs a hold of Nightbird and crushes her within his grasp. Then wounded Predator X isn’t about to give up and charges right at Legolas. Pikachu, however, leaps right at the snarling beast and is swallowed whole. This unfortunately was Pikachu’s plan all along, as in a brave sacrifice unloads a massive amount of electricity inside Predator X #1, frying it from the inside out.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Week 1
Setting: Bar Fight
Points: 75
Prize: A Halberd, An Atlas, & A Heat Axe
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Logical Genocide
-TEAM Vs. Built Ford Tough
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-The Abomitrons Vs. Team S.P.
-Bruce's Bodacious Bullies Vs. The Untouchables
-Oblivio Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obams's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Transfoamers
-The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Hayley's Comets
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. P.M.S.
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
-The Syracuse Valley Vs. Better Than All of One
-The Right Wing Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
Points: 75
Prize: A Halberd, An Atlas, & A Heat Axe
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Logical Genocide
-TEAM Vs. Built Ford Tough
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-The Abomitrons Vs. Team S.P.
-Bruce's Bodacious Bullies Vs. The Untouchables
-Oblivio Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obams's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Transfoamers
-The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Hayley's Comets
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. P.M.S.
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
-The Syracuse Valley Vs. Better Than All of One
-The Right Wing Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
Logical Genocide Vs. The Abomitrons
Logical Genocide is Warwolf #4, Predator #48, Triceraton #9, & Shatterstar.
The Abomitrons are Timmell, Immell #1 (Cyborg Norris), Immell #2 (Batteldae), Immell #3 (Rob Murray), Immell #5 (The Captain), Immell #14 (Tammell), Immell #16 (Death Hammer), Immell #18 (Dr. Ray Wookie), Immell #19 (Zombie Bullock), Wookie Soldier #31, & Naboo Soldier #1.
Before the match begins, Shatterstar speaks to his troops and says: “listen up team, I know that this is a strange situation, and that none of us are sure what to expect after being placed on an expansion team in the hardest division in all of Fantasy but I for one am excited about it. Even before the FFL I was born into a life of combat, the odds were always against me. This definitely didn’t change once I became a Murderfly. Since I first came into the league I have watched my team get stomped by the likes of The Slaves and The Brigade only to hear that the league I was losing in was weak compared to The American League. Now I find myself not only in that supposed more dangerous league but in the most feared division in it and on an expansion team to boot. But I am not scared. I foresee greatness for this team, and an opportunity to make names for all of us in the Fantasy Fantasy Archives. Now, let us show the league that we are not just an expansion team, but a team to be reckoned with”. Timmell speaks to his troops as well saying: “Listen up Immells, now I’ve seen you in practice simulations back at the base and I know what you are capable of, but this is for real. Myself, Guchi, & Dave (Guchi & Dave are Wookie Soldier #31 & Naboo Soldier #1) have been here on this team since day 1 and we know what these other teams can be capable of. All of you Immells have seen from your genetic tanks that we as a team have gone from the worst team in the league to barely missing the play-offs last year, and I have no doubt that we will be in the play-offs this year”. “All the more reason to put us out there” Cyborg Norris retorts. Shatterstar realizes quickly that his team is outnumbered and that their strength lies in their stealth abilities, so they split up. Guchi and Dr. Ray Wookie (genetic combined clone of Dr. Ray Stanz & Wookie Soldier #31) are up in a tree enjoying their home world while Batteldae (mix of Batman & Tim Cheveldae) and Rob Murray the Boy Manager (mix of Robin & Bryan Murray) break off with Timmell on a scouting mission. Cyborg Norris (Cyborg Superman & Chuck Norris) and Death Hammer (Death Adder & Sledgehammer) can’t decide whether or not to be “slappy go lucky” and loveable or downright menacing so they both go off on their own, as does Zombie Bullock (Zombie #1 & Sandra Bullock). The Captain (Steve Yzerman & Capt. America), Tammell (River Tamm & Timmell), & Naboo Soldier #1 go off together in a stealth fashion. The 1 and half wookies up in the tree jump down to defend their crazy teammate, but by the time they make their way down the tree Shatterstar has already relieved Zombie Bullock of her decaying (yet still attractive) head. The two wookies move toward Mojo’s former champion but the 2 of them are no match for Shatterstar’s speed. What Shatterstar lacks in strength against the 2 hairy competitors he makes up for in grace as he spins around and almost simultaneously uses his 2 swords to run thru both Guchi and Dr. Ray Wookie. Warwolf #4 stealthily moves about the heavily wooded forest and is ready to pounce but before he can, he gets his head roundhouse kicked off by the mighty Cyborg Norris: His crimson hair glistening atop his metal skull can bring chills down the spine of even an all-powerful watcher (not me of course, but maybe one of those other watchers). Triceraton #9 isn’t totally in the wrong to think that he is going to be a force to reckoned with in this league, I mean don’t act like you wouldn’t like to be a bipedal gun-toting dinosaur, but he is a healthy 4 inches shorter than the man, I mean clone known as Death Hammer. Death Hammer uses some magic lightning on the Triceraton, but the alien dinosaur is quicker than he looks and manages to get out of the way. Death Hammer isn’t to happy to see his opponent still standing, but he gets over it quickly as he turns his Ax-gun on the Triceraton and blows a hole thru his head with a double shot of .44 magnum. Batteldae can be pretty close to invisible when he wishes, but not quite as well as Predator #48, who jumps into the fray and instantly begins battling with Tim, Tim, & Bry. Timmell, may be the most perfect clone ever put together, but his fighting ability is not quite up to par which is why he finds his demise on the business end of an alien boomerang knife courtesy of one of FFL’s first ever overall picks. The fight continues with the Predator holding his own quite well in the forest setting despite being outnumbered 2 to 1 but eventually the hero sidekick combo……. Or is it the General Manager goalie combo…… Well either way, they work good as a team and manage to take out the Predator together before they can become little intergalactic Stanley Cups of their own. The remaining Abomitrons gather around a clearing to see the last skirmish taking place. At this point, Shatterstar is doing his best to ward off the attacks of both Tammell and The Captain, but he can’t seem to gain the upper hand. Tammell goes in for the kill, with a neck-breaking dropkick; but Shatterstar is able to evade the move just in time. With Tammell temporarily out of the way Shatterstar is able to knock the hooked shield stick out of the hands of Captain Steve, but just before Shatterstar is able to deliver the killing blow to The Captain he is shot in the chest by Naboo Soldier #1. This is by no means a fatal blow to the enhanced durable skin of Shatterstar but it does save the life of The Captain. Shatterstar then throws the saber from his left hand directly into the neck of Dave the Nubian but as he is doing so Tammell comes down on his neck with enough sheer force to crack the former X-Man’s vertebrae in half. Batteldae looks around at his teammates, while a slight smile comes to his face, but before he can speak Cyborg Norris lands in the center of his remaining teammates and says: “I think I’m going to like these expansion teams”.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Abomitrons are Timmell, Immell #1 (Cyborg Norris), Immell #2 (Batteldae), Immell #3 (Rob Murray), Immell #5 (The Captain), Immell #14 (Tammell), Immell #16 (Death Hammer), Immell #18 (Dr. Ray Wookie), Immell #19 (Zombie Bullock), Wookie Soldier #31, & Naboo Soldier #1.
Before the match begins, Shatterstar speaks to his troops and says: “listen up team, I know that this is a strange situation, and that none of us are sure what to expect after being placed on an expansion team in the hardest division in all of Fantasy but I for one am excited about it. Even before the FFL I was born into a life of combat, the odds were always against me. This definitely didn’t change once I became a Murderfly. Since I first came into the league I have watched my team get stomped by the likes of The Slaves and The Brigade only to hear that the league I was losing in was weak compared to The American League. Now I find myself not only in that supposed more dangerous league but in the most feared division in it and on an expansion team to boot. But I am not scared. I foresee greatness for this team, and an opportunity to make names for all of us in the Fantasy Fantasy Archives. Now, let us show the league that we are not just an expansion team, but a team to be reckoned with”. Timmell speaks to his troops as well saying: “Listen up Immells, now I’ve seen you in practice simulations back at the base and I know what you are capable of, but this is for real. Myself, Guchi, & Dave (Guchi & Dave are Wookie Soldier #31 & Naboo Soldier #1) have been here on this team since day 1 and we know what these other teams can be capable of. All of you Immells have seen from your genetic tanks that we as a team have gone from the worst team in the league to barely missing the play-offs last year, and I have no doubt that we will be in the play-offs this year”. “All the more reason to put us out there” Cyborg Norris retorts. Shatterstar realizes quickly that his team is outnumbered and that their strength lies in their stealth abilities, so they split up. Guchi and Dr. Ray Wookie (genetic combined clone of Dr. Ray Stanz & Wookie Soldier #31) are up in a tree enjoying their home world while Batteldae (mix of Batman & Tim Cheveldae) and Rob Murray the Boy Manager (mix of Robin & Bryan Murray) break off with Timmell on a scouting mission. Cyborg Norris (Cyborg Superman & Chuck Norris) and Death Hammer (Death Adder & Sledgehammer) can’t decide whether or not to be “slappy go lucky” and loveable or downright menacing so they both go off on their own, as does Zombie Bullock (Zombie #1 & Sandra Bullock). The Captain (Steve Yzerman & Capt. America), Tammell (River Tamm & Timmell), & Naboo Soldier #1 go off together in a stealth fashion. The 1 and half wookies up in the tree jump down to defend their crazy teammate, but by the time they make their way down the tree Shatterstar has already relieved Zombie Bullock of her decaying (yet still attractive) head. The two wookies move toward Mojo’s former champion but the 2 of them are no match for Shatterstar’s speed. What Shatterstar lacks in strength against the 2 hairy competitors he makes up for in grace as he spins around and almost simultaneously uses his 2 swords to run thru both Guchi and Dr. Ray Wookie. Warwolf #4 stealthily moves about the heavily wooded forest and is ready to pounce but before he can, he gets his head roundhouse kicked off by the mighty Cyborg Norris: His crimson hair glistening atop his metal skull can bring chills down the spine of even an all-powerful watcher (not me of course, but maybe one of those other watchers). Triceraton #9 isn’t totally in the wrong to think that he is going to be a force to reckoned with in this league, I mean don’t act like you wouldn’t like to be a bipedal gun-toting dinosaur, but he is a healthy 4 inches shorter than the man, I mean clone known as Death Hammer. Death Hammer uses some magic lightning on the Triceraton, but the alien dinosaur is quicker than he looks and manages to get out of the way. Death Hammer isn’t to happy to see his opponent still standing, but he gets over it quickly as he turns his Ax-gun on the Triceraton and blows a hole thru his head with a double shot of .44 magnum. Batteldae can be pretty close to invisible when he wishes, but not quite as well as Predator #48, who jumps into the fray and instantly begins battling with Tim, Tim, & Bry. Timmell, may be the most perfect clone ever put together, but his fighting ability is not quite up to par which is why he finds his demise on the business end of an alien boomerang knife courtesy of one of FFL’s first ever overall picks. The fight continues with the Predator holding his own quite well in the forest setting despite being outnumbered 2 to 1 but eventually the hero sidekick combo……. Or is it the General Manager goalie combo…… Well either way, they work good as a team and manage to take out the Predator together before they can become little intergalactic Stanley Cups of their own. The remaining Abomitrons gather around a clearing to see the last skirmish taking place. At this point, Shatterstar is doing his best to ward off the attacks of both Tammell and The Captain, but he can’t seem to gain the upper hand. Tammell goes in for the kill, with a neck-breaking dropkick; but Shatterstar is able to evade the move just in time. With Tammell temporarily out of the way Shatterstar is able to knock the hooked shield stick out of the hands of Captain Steve, but just before Shatterstar is able to deliver the killing blow to The Captain he is shot in the chest by Naboo Soldier #1. This is by no means a fatal blow to the enhanced durable skin of Shatterstar but it does save the life of The Captain. Shatterstar then throws the saber from his left hand directly into the neck of Dave the Nubian but as he is doing so Tammell comes down on his neck with enough sheer force to crack the former X-Man’s vertebrae in half. Batteldae looks around at his teammates, while a slight smile comes to his face, but before he can speak Cyborg Norris lands in the center of his remaining teammates and says: “I think I’m going to like these expansion teams”.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Transfoamers
The Transfoamers are Starscream’s Ghost, Ghost #1-5, & Nazgul #7.
George Washington’s Slaves are Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Crocodile Dundee, Jedi Master #2, Jedi Padawan #31A, & Kamilla.
Zombie Ki Adi Mundi’s lower brain is completely consumed by the savage hunger that comes along with being a zombie, but being a Cerean with a binary brain, his top brain portion still retains some of what was once the great and wise Jedi Master. A fraction of what he once was, Ki Adi is still a little better off than your average zombie do to his race’s unique body makeup. As the former Jedi Council member lurks thru the forest searching out a life force to quench his zombie hunger, the rest of the team walks several yards behind him still afraid of what this quasi-controlled zombie may be capable of. After several moments of silence Crocodile Dundee speaks to his brand new teammates: “Blimey, this cone-headed bloke gives even me the creeps, what is his prob…..”, but he is cut off before he can finish by Jedi Padawan #31A, who grabs him by the collar and says: “Watch your tongue newbie, how dare you speak ill of Master Mundi”. Dundee looks stunned by the outrage when Jedi Master #2 adds: “Ki Adi might not be what he once was but he is a Jedi legend, without his help & sacrifice The Slaves wouldn’t have won the NL Championship last year“. His Padawan, who was but a tiny Youngling when he first met Ki Adi Mundi at the beginning of Season 1 finishes with: “I hope to one day be half the Jedi that he once was, so if breathing is a luxury that you enjoy I suggest you watch what you say about him”. Even Kamilla gives their new teammate a look of disdain before Dundee retorts. “No worries friend, I didn’t know”. Jedi Padawan #31A says: “I sense something strange Master, I am unsure of its origin”. “I sense it too, my young apprentice, it is indeed curious.” Jedi Master #2 says in reply. A chill moves up the spines of every one of the Slaves as the team’s only present master of the force says: “I do not feel the presence of one living creature with whom we are supposed to do battle, yet I sense that we are most definitely in grave danger”. When you look into the eyes of Ki Adi Mundi, you can see that there is a wise individual buried underneath the undead demeanor that is his being; but whatever wisdom drives him within, it cannot control the disease that domineers his physical form. Ki Adi parts from the rest of his squad and rushes into battle against an omnipresent non-physical form of a once mighty Decepticon. The force still controls the actions of Ki Adi, yet follows the commands of the Zombie hunger as the Jedi Master attacks the ghost of Starscream, Ghosts #2 & 4 both hover over to defend their unofficial leader from the raging creature whom friends once called Ki Adi. Most zombies would have little to no use for a free-floating vapor, but the force reminds Ki Adi’s battling binary brains of his old master’s teachings. He knows that luminous beings are we and that no crude matter is required to obtain the captured life force’s of these individuals. As Ki Adi draws his rusty lightsaber from his tattered belt to do battle with the 3 ghosts, the air is filled with the ear-splitting screams of these 4 tortured souls who become locked in devilish unnatural combat. Jedi Master #2 kneels down in meditation with his unlit lightsaber on his lap, while his Padawan and Crocodile Dundee are knocked to the ground by the heavy gauntlet laden hands of Nazgul #7. The 2 Slaves can do nothing as poor Kamilla is crushed under the armored legs of the approaching Ringwraith. Ghosts #1, 3, & 5 race toward the newly made Padawan and his newly drafted companion when Jedi Master #2 ejects from his meditative position and ignites his lightsaber. With the force guiding his movement the master of the force uses his Jedi weapon to actually slice thru ghosts #1 & 5 destroying them before Ghost #3 enters the body of the Jedi Master to almost instantaneously turn his vibrant body into a lifeless core of flesh. Crocodile Dundee is so inspired by his teammate’s bravery that he picks up the lightsaber of his fallen comrade and attempts to chop at his ghostly competitor; although when wielded by Dundee the lightsaber simply goes thru the apparition as if there was no threat whatsoever. Crocodile Dundee is shocked by the occurrence and throws down the lightsaber as he runs for cover. For lack of a better term Ki Adi Mundi is “victorious” in his battle with the 3 ghosts but is laying on the ground in a near catatonic state having soulfully devoured Starscream and his 2 ghostly companions. It takes a mere flick of the wrist for Nazgul #7 to relieve Ki Adi of his head as he walks by on his way to battling the last 2 remaining Slaves. Jedi Padawan #31A dodges the initial swing from the Nazgul’s sword but is once again knocked to the ground by his heavily armored opponent. The battered and bruised Padawan is about to be run thru when he hears the word “NO” loudly screamed from behind him. His teammate Crocodile Dundee is running full bore toward the Ringwraith in an attempt to save the Jedi Padawan. Dundee jumps into the air and drives his large knife directly into the face of Nazgul #7. Dundee screams in agony as his entire hand disintegrates from simply touching the Sauron spawned creature, but much to the surprise of all, the Nazgul does indeed fall dead from the blow. Dundee cradles his handless wrist on the ground while he watches Ghost #3 float toward him. The tough Australian is clueless as to how to defend himself against his floating foe who is about 4 inches from his frightened face when the apparition all of the sudden dissipates in to nothingness before his eyes. Crocodile Dundee then turns his head to see Padawan #31A collapse from exhaustion after using every bit of force power he could muster to wipe the ghost from existence.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
George Washington’s Slaves are Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Crocodile Dundee, Jedi Master #2, Jedi Padawan #31A, & Kamilla.
Zombie Ki Adi Mundi’s lower brain is completely consumed by the savage hunger that comes along with being a zombie, but being a Cerean with a binary brain, his top brain portion still retains some of what was once the great and wise Jedi Master. A fraction of what he once was, Ki Adi is still a little better off than your average zombie do to his race’s unique body makeup. As the former Jedi Council member lurks thru the forest searching out a life force to quench his zombie hunger, the rest of the team walks several yards behind him still afraid of what this quasi-controlled zombie may be capable of. After several moments of silence Crocodile Dundee speaks to his brand new teammates: “Blimey, this cone-headed bloke gives even me the creeps, what is his prob…..”, but he is cut off before he can finish by Jedi Padawan #31A, who grabs him by the collar and says: “Watch your tongue newbie, how dare you speak ill of Master Mundi”. Dundee looks stunned by the outrage when Jedi Master #2 adds: “Ki Adi might not be what he once was but he is a Jedi legend, without his help & sacrifice The Slaves wouldn’t have won the NL Championship last year“. His Padawan, who was but a tiny Youngling when he first met Ki Adi Mundi at the beginning of Season 1 finishes with: “I hope to one day be half the Jedi that he once was, so if breathing is a luxury that you enjoy I suggest you watch what you say about him”. Even Kamilla gives their new teammate a look of disdain before Dundee retorts. “No worries friend, I didn’t know”. Jedi Padawan #31A says: “I sense something strange Master, I am unsure of its origin”. “I sense it too, my young apprentice, it is indeed curious.” Jedi Master #2 says in reply. A chill moves up the spines of every one of the Slaves as the team’s only present master of the force says: “I do not feel the presence of one living creature with whom we are supposed to do battle, yet I sense that we are most definitely in grave danger”. When you look into the eyes of Ki Adi Mundi, you can see that there is a wise individual buried underneath the undead demeanor that is his being; but whatever wisdom drives him within, it cannot control the disease that domineers his physical form. Ki Adi parts from the rest of his squad and rushes into battle against an omnipresent non-physical form of a once mighty Decepticon. The force still controls the actions of Ki Adi, yet follows the commands of the Zombie hunger as the Jedi Master attacks the ghost of Starscream, Ghosts #2 & 4 both hover over to defend their unofficial leader from the raging creature whom friends once called Ki Adi. Most zombies would have little to no use for a free-floating vapor, but the force reminds Ki Adi’s battling binary brains of his old master’s teachings. He knows that luminous beings are we and that no crude matter is required to obtain the captured life force’s of these individuals. As Ki Adi draws his rusty lightsaber from his tattered belt to do battle with the 3 ghosts, the air is filled with the ear-splitting screams of these 4 tortured souls who become locked in devilish unnatural combat. Jedi Master #2 kneels down in meditation with his unlit lightsaber on his lap, while his Padawan and Crocodile Dundee are knocked to the ground by the heavy gauntlet laden hands of Nazgul #7. The 2 Slaves can do nothing as poor Kamilla is crushed under the armored legs of the approaching Ringwraith. Ghosts #1, 3, & 5 race toward the newly made Padawan and his newly drafted companion when Jedi Master #2 ejects from his meditative position and ignites his lightsaber. With the force guiding his movement the master of the force uses his Jedi weapon to actually slice thru ghosts #1 & 5 destroying them before Ghost #3 enters the body of the Jedi Master to almost instantaneously turn his vibrant body into a lifeless core of flesh. Crocodile Dundee is so inspired by his teammate’s bravery that he picks up the lightsaber of his fallen comrade and attempts to chop at his ghostly competitor; although when wielded by Dundee the lightsaber simply goes thru the apparition as if there was no threat whatsoever. Crocodile Dundee is shocked by the occurrence and throws down the lightsaber as he runs for cover. For lack of a better term Ki Adi Mundi is “victorious” in his battle with the 3 ghosts but is laying on the ground in a near catatonic state having soulfully devoured Starscream and his 2 ghostly companions. It takes a mere flick of the wrist for Nazgul #7 to relieve Ki Adi of his head as he walks by on his way to battling the last 2 remaining Slaves. Jedi Padawan #31A dodges the initial swing from the Nazgul’s sword but is once again knocked to the ground by his heavily armored opponent. The battered and bruised Padawan is about to be run thru when he hears the word “NO” loudly screamed from behind him. His teammate Crocodile Dundee is running full bore toward the Ringwraith in an attempt to save the Jedi Padawan. Dundee jumps into the air and drives his large knife directly into the face of Nazgul #7. Dundee screams in agony as his entire hand disintegrates from simply touching the Sauron spawned creature, but much to the surprise of all, the Nazgul does indeed fall dead from the blow. Dundee cradles his handless wrist on the ground while he watches Ghost #3 float toward him. The tough Australian is clueless as to how to defend himself against his floating foe who is about 4 inches from his frightened face when the apparition all of the sudden dissipates in to nothingness before his eyes. Crocodile Dundee then turns his head to see Padawan #31A collapse from exhaustion after using every bit of force power he could muster to wipe the ghost from existence.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Transfoamers
The Transfoamers are Starscream’s Ghost, Ghost #1-5, & Nazgul #7.
George Washington’s Slaves are Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Crocodile Dundee, Jedi Master #2, Jedi Padawan #31A, & Kamilla.
Zombie Ki Adi Mundi’s lower brain is completely consumed by the savage hunger that comes along with being a zombie, but being a Cerean with a binary brain, his top brain portion still retains some of what was once the great and wise Jedi Master. A fraction of what he once was, Ki Adi is still a little better off than your average zombie do to his race’s unique body makeup. As the former Jedi Council member lurks thru the forest searching out a life force to quench his zombie hunger, the rest of the team walks several yards behind him still afraid of what this quasi-controlled zombie may be capable of. After several moments of silence Crocodile Dundee speaks to his brand new teammates: “Blimey, this cone-headed bloke gives even me the creeps, what is his prob…..”, but he is cut off before he can finish by Jedi Padawan #31A, who grabs him by the collar and says: “Watch your tongue newbie, how dare you speak ill of Master Mundi”. Dundee looks stunned by the outrage when Jedi Master #2 adds: “Ki Adi might not be what he once was but he is a Jedi legend, without his help & sacrifice The Slaves wouldn’t have won the NL Championship last year“. His Padawan, who was but a tiny Youngling when he first met Ki Adi Mundi at the beginning of Season 1 finishes with: “I hope to one day be half the Jedi that he once was, so if breathing is a luxury that you enjoy I suggest you watch what you say about him”. Even Kamilla gives their new teammate a look of disdain before Dundee retorts. “No worries friend, I didn’t know”. Jedi Padawan #31A says: “I sense something strange Master, I am unsure of its origin”. “I sense it too, my young apprentice, it is indeed curious.” Jedi Master #2 says in reply. A chill moves up the spines of every one of the Slaves as the team’s only present master of the force says: “I do not feel the presence of one living creature with whom we are supposed to do battle, yet I sense that we are most definitely in grave danger”. When you look into the eyes of Ki Adi Mundi, you can see that there is a wise individual buried underneath the undead demeanor that is his being; but whatever wisdom drives him within, it cannot control the disease that domineers his physical form. Ki Adi parts from the rest of his squad and rushes into battle against an omnipresent non-physical form of a once mighty Decepticon. The force still controls the actions of Ki Adi, yet follows the commands of the Zombie hunger as the Jedi Master attacks the ghost of Starscream, Ghosts #2 & 4 both hover over to defend their unofficial leader from the raging creature whom friends once called Ki Adi. Most zombies would have little to no use for a free-floating vapor, but the force reminds Ki Adi’s battling binary brains of his old master’s teachings. He knows that luminous beings are we and that no crude matter is required to obtain the captured life force’s of these individuals. As Ki Adi draws his rusty lightsaber from his tattered belt to do battle with the 3 ghosts, the air is filled with the ear-splitting screams of these 4 tortured souls who become locked in devilish unnatural combat. Jedi Master #2 kneels down in meditation with his unlit lightsaber on his lap, while his Padawan and Crocodile Dundee are knocked to the ground by the heavy gauntlet laden hands of Nazgul #7. The 2 Slaves can do nothing as poor Kamilla is crushed under the armored legs of the approaching Ringwraith. Ghosts #1, 3, & 5 race toward the newly made Padawan and his newly drafted companion when Jedi Master #2 ejects from his meditative position and ignites his lightsaber. With the force guiding his movement the master of the force uses his Jedi weapon to actually slice thru ghosts #1 & 5 destroying them before Ghost #3 enters the body of the Jedi Master to almost instantaneously turn his vibrant body into a lifeless core of flesh. Crocodile Dundee is so inspired by his teammate’s bravery that he picks up the lightsaber of his fallen comrade and attempts to chop at his ghostly competitor; although when wielded by Dundee the lightsaber simply goes thru the apparition as if there was no threat whatsoever. Crocodile Dundee is shocked by the occurrence and throws down the lightsaber as he runs for cover. For lack of a better term Ki Adi Mundi is “victorious” in his battle with the 3 ghosts but is laying on the ground in a near catatonic state having soulfully devoured Starscream and his 2 ghostly companions. It takes a mere flick of the wrist for Nazgul #7 to relieve Ki Adi of his head as he walks by on his way to battling the last 2 remaining Slaves. Jedi Padawan #31A dodges the initial swing from the Nazgul’s sword but is once again knocked to the ground by his heavily armored opponent. The battered and bruised Padawan is about to be run thru when he hears the word “NO” loudly screamed from behind him. His teammate Crocodile Dundee is running full bore toward the Ringwraith in an attempt to save the Jedi Padawan. Dundee jumps into the air and drives his large knife directly into the face of Nazgul #7. Dundee screams in agony as his entire hand disintegrates from simply touching the Sauron spawned creature, but much to the surprise of all, the Nazgul does indeed fall dead from the blow. Dundee cradles his handless wrist on the ground while he watches Ghost #3 float toward him. The tough Australian is clueless as to how to defend himself against his floating foe who is about 4 inches from his frightened face when the apparition all of the sudden dissipates in to nothingness before his eyes. Crocodile Dundee then turns his head to see Padawan #31A collapse from exhaustion after using every bit of force power he could muster to wipe the ghost from existence.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
George Washington’s Slaves are Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Crocodile Dundee, Jedi Master #2, Jedi Padawan #31A, & Kamilla.
Zombie Ki Adi Mundi’s lower brain is completely consumed by the savage hunger that comes along with being a zombie, but being a Cerean with a binary brain, his top brain portion still retains some of what was once the great and wise Jedi Master. A fraction of what he once was, Ki Adi is still a little better off than your average zombie do to his race’s unique body makeup. As the former Jedi Council member lurks thru the forest searching out a life force to quench his zombie hunger, the rest of the team walks several yards behind him still afraid of what this quasi-controlled zombie may be capable of. After several moments of silence Crocodile Dundee speaks to his brand new teammates: “Blimey, this cone-headed bloke gives even me the creeps, what is his prob…..”, but he is cut off before he can finish by Jedi Padawan #31A, who grabs him by the collar and says: “Watch your tongue newbie, how dare you speak ill of Master Mundi”. Dundee looks stunned by the outrage when Jedi Master #2 adds: “Ki Adi might not be what he once was but he is a Jedi legend, without his help & sacrifice The Slaves wouldn’t have won the NL Championship last year“. His Padawan, who was but a tiny Youngling when he first met Ki Adi Mundi at the beginning of Season 1 finishes with: “I hope to one day be half the Jedi that he once was, so if breathing is a luxury that you enjoy I suggest you watch what you say about him”. Even Kamilla gives their new teammate a look of disdain before Dundee retorts. “No worries friend, I didn’t know”. Jedi Padawan #31A says: “I sense something strange Master, I am unsure of its origin”. “I sense it too, my young apprentice, it is indeed curious.” Jedi Master #2 says in reply. A chill moves up the spines of every one of the Slaves as the team’s only present master of the force says: “I do not feel the presence of one living creature with whom we are supposed to do battle, yet I sense that we are most definitely in grave danger”. When you look into the eyes of Ki Adi Mundi, you can see that there is a wise individual buried underneath the undead demeanor that is his being; but whatever wisdom drives him within, it cannot control the disease that domineers his physical form. Ki Adi parts from the rest of his squad and rushes into battle against an omnipresent non-physical form of a once mighty Decepticon. The force still controls the actions of Ki Adi, yet follows the commands of the Zombie hunger as the Jedi Master attacks the ghost of Starscream, Ghosts #2 & 4 both hover over to defend their unofficial leader from the raging creature whom friends once called Ki Adi. Most zombies would have little to no use for a free-floating vapor, but the force reminds Ki Adi’s battling binary brains of his old master’s teachings. He knows that luminous beings are we and that no crude matter is required to obtain the captured life force’s of these individuals. As Ki Adi draws his rusty lightsaber from his tattered belt to do battle with the 3 ghosts, the air is filled with the ear-splitting screams of these 4 tortured souls who become locked in devilish unnatural combat. Jedi Master #2 kneels down in meditation with his unlit lightsaber on his lap, while his Padawan and Crocodile Dundee are knocked to the ground by the heavy gauntlet laden hands of Nazgul #7. The 2 Slaves can do nothing as poor Kamilla is crushed under the armored legs of the approaching Ringwraith. Ghosts #1, 3, & 5 race toward the newly made Padawan and his newly drafted companion when Jedi Master #2 ejects from his meditative position and ignites his lightsaber. With the force guiding his movement the master of the force uses his Jedi weapon to actually slice thru ghosts #1 & 5 destroying them before Ghost #3 enters the body of the Jedi Master to almost instantaneously turn his vibrant body into a lifeless core of flesh. Crocodile Dundee is so inspired by his teammate’s bravery that he picks up the lightsaber of his fallen comrade and attempts to chop at his ghostly competitor; although when wielded by Dundee the lightsaber simply goes thru the apparition as if there was no threat whatsoever. Crocodile Dundee is shocked by the occurrence and throws down the lightsaber as he runs for cover. For lack of a better term Ki Adi Mundi is “victorious” in his battle with the 3 ghosts but is laying on the ground in a near catatonic state having soulfully devoured Starscream and his 2 ghostly companions. It takes a mere flick of the wrist for Nazgul #7 to relieve Ki Adi of his head as he walks by on his way to battling the last 2 remaining Slaves. Jedi Padawan #31A dodges the initial swing from the Nazgul’s sword but is once again knocked to the ground by his heavily armored opponent. The battered and bruised Padawan is about to be run thru when he hears the word “NO” loudly screamed from behind him. His teammate Crocodile Dundee is running full bore toward the Ringwraith in an attempt to save the Jedi Padawan. Dundee jumps into the air and drives his large knife directly into the face of Nazgul #7. Dundee screams in agony as his entire hand disintegrates from simply touching the Sauron spawned creature, but much to the surprise of all, the Nazgul does indeed fall dead from the blow. Dundee cradles his handless wrist on the ground while he watches Ghost #3 float toward him. The tough Australian is clueless as to how to defend himself against his floating foe who is about 4 inches from his frightened face when the apparition all of the sudden dissipates in to nothingness before his eyes. Crocodile Dundee then turns his head to see Padawan #31A collapse from exhaustion after using every bit of force power he could muster to wipe the ghost from existence.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
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