The Untouchables are Onslaught, Fremen #31-36, & Pounce & Wingspan.
The Abomitrons are Hancock, Abon Sur, Blade, Starfire, Mario, Kyle Houslander, & Zachary Houslander.
The Fremen quickly and easily disappear into the sand as if they had the power of invisibility while The Decepticon Clones Pounce and Wingspan attack to one side while Onslaught stands firm, waiting for The Abomitrons to come to him. Abomitron Head Coach Alfred Pennyworth has done his homework on his old friend Untouchable Head Coach Commissioner Gordon, which is why his team knows that Onslaught must be taken out if they have any chance against this A.L. powerhouse that has torn up the Ryan Poteracki division with many impressive wins this season. Hancock, Abon Sur, & Starfire all rush in to take on Onslaught while Blade draws out his sword and pistol to search out the hidden Fremen while Kyle backs him up. Zack follows Mario as the Hammer Suit clad hero prepares for battle with the 2 Decepticon clones. Hancock and his Abomitron trio fight hard in a battle that totally wastes the Jundland area (as if it wasn’t already). Mario opts to stay in his Hammer Bros. suit, so he gives Zack a tanooki suit and Kyle a flower which give Zack the ability to fly (and turn to stone briefly) and Kyle the ability to shoot fire balls. Zack takes flight in his tanooki suit and lures Wingspan in, in his Hawk form back down to the sandy ground. Once Wingspan is within range Mario leaps into the air and plants a perfectly aimed hammer into the eye of Wingspan which ricochets down thru the Decepticon and kills him. Pounce sees the death of his partner and goes crazy (even crazier than normal that is). Pounce transforms into his Puma form and well……… Pounces on Mario to kill everybody’s favorite NES character. The 6 Fremen pop out of nowhere and surround both Blade and Fire Kyle. The Fremen attack in unison with their crysknives drawn and converge mostly on Blade. To begin the fight Kyle uses his pitching arm to launch a perfectly placed fireball straight into the grill of Fremen #35. Blade moves with amazing speed and grace to take out Fremen #31 & 34, but the Fremen are simply too good in this desert atmosphere, even though it is not their home planet of Arrakis and have a fighting skill that is unparalleled in the universe. The remaining 3 Fremen take down Blade with a quick sweep from Fremen #33, the other 2 Fremen than stick their crysknives into Blade’s neck and chest while Fremen #33 cuts Blade’s arm before he resheaths his Blade, just so the sacred weapon doesn’t have the opportunity to taste the blood of a water fat off-worlder. Abon Sur and Starfire blast Onslaught with a combination of star bolts and green energy but Onslaught still manages to fight thru the attacks. Pounce comes to the aid of his team captain Onslaught, but he doesn’t really know where to jump in. Onslaught telepathically works thru the defenses of Abon Sur’s ring to totally mind wipe the green lantern, but when Starfire and Hancock see this they both rush in and start whaling on the mutant. The 2 super-powered beings put such a fierce beating down on Onslaught that even a character of his level of power is unable to withstand it. The once powerful Onslaught is actually leveled by the sheer physical strength of the Hancock/Starfire combo. Hancock turns to Starfire as if to say something clever, but before he can Pounce flies up behind him to attempt a sneak attack. Pounce nearly succeeds in his stealth attack but before he can Starfire shoots about a dozen star bolts over Hancock’s shoulder’s to blow the Decepticon away. Hancock and Starfire think that this battle must be close to over when Kyle and Zachary come racing up to them, to tell them that Blade and Mario are dead, the Fremen have disappeared back into the sand, and that they need their help to find them. Just then the 3 Fremen pop directly out of the sand and attack. Fremen #32 & 33 land several hits from their crysknives in the arms and body of Hancock, but they are not enough to do any permanent damage against the super-powered being. Hancock eventually is able to get a hold of both of the fierce fighters and crush their heads together, while Starfire subdues Fremen #36 with some star bolts from her eyes, before she cracks his neck.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Command
The Backyardigans are Red Hulk, Doomsday, Dark Phoenix, & War Skrull #2.
The Commandos are IG-88, Ben Kenobi, Black Adam, The Cloverfield Monster, Lazarus Long in a Tie-Bomber, Dora, Backpack, Boots, Map, & Dozer #1.
As the battle begins, the 2 Red Hulks flank Doomsday while Dark Phoenix takes flight. Dark Phoenix can tell telepathically that there is a creature of great power from another world within the vicinity and that she cannot have such competition. She ignites her Phoenix force and burns thru the skies toward Cloverfield. She inadvertently kills Dozer #1 on the way to the battle and The Map ignites into flames just from being within about 100 yards of the cosmic fire. Dark Phoenix lifts Cloverfield into the air with her telekinesis and the 2 of them fly into the outer rim orbit at the speed of light. Once in space she uses the Phoenix force to completely disintegrate Cloverfield. The overly apathetic Jean Grey then flies off into the Rishey Mays, beyond the outer rim to explore more interesting events. Black Adam squares off with Doomsday. The 2 powerhouses cause shockwaves that are felt all the way from Mos Espa to Anchorhead with the punches that they land on each other. Ben Kenobi and IG-88 team up to take on one of the Rulks while Dora sneaks up on the other one. Dora empties Backpack and then jumps onto the back of Rulk. Dora then puts Backpack over his head and jumps off. The blinded Rulk flails around with Backpack on his head, ripping the poor piece of living school material apart. This confusion works to opens him up to an attack from the sky. Lazarus Long radios back to the rest of the team to complain about how slow Tie-Bombers are but Lazarus switches the power from the Imperial ships lasers to the engines to boost the speed and then unloads some massive fire power into Rulk. When Lazarus pulls up the only thing left of the Red Hulk standing on the ground is the dead body of War Skrull #2. Rulk runs straight thru the laser blasts of IG-88 as the droid takes off with his jet pack. Rulk jumps into the air and pulls the bounty hunter droid down with him. Rulk quickly mangles the droid into a ball of scrap metal and then throws what is left of the droid at Lazarus Long’s Tie-Bomber. The oldest living human is able to crash land the wrecked ship in the sand and pop out. Long then regroups with Dora and Boots. Dora gives Lazarus the gun that he had put into Backpack and that she grabbed out for him, but Lazarus instead throws the gun to Boots “Here ya go buddy, you might need this” Lazarus says as he reaches under his kilt to grab his other gun and vibroblade. Black Adam has successfully worn out Doomsday, but it comes at a heavy price. Black Adam thinks he can finish off the creature with one yell of “Shazam”, but Doomsday can tell that something is up. Doomsday grabs Black Adam by the throat and squeezes so hard that Black Adam can not yell his famous attack word. Eventually Doomsday’s grip becomes so tight that it snaps the neck of the powerful Black Adam and kills him. Lazarus tells Dora and Boots to follow his lead because he has a plan. Lazarus, Dora, & Boots all stand about 8’ from Rulk and begin shooting him. Dora and Boots just like they are ordered begin singing the “we did it song” while Lazarus is simultaneously humming Elvis tunes. The bullets do little against the thick skin of Rulk who turns to the trio and asks: “Do you truly think that your puny weapons can do anything other than temporarily distract me”? Lazarus Long looks at Rulk and simply answers “No”, while Ben Kenobi rushes up behind the arrogant Rulk and rips thru his neck with his lightsaber. Ben looks over to Lazarus and says: “I have to admit Lazarus; I didn’t think that was going to work”. Lazarus replies with “In all honesty Ben, neither did I”. Lazarus and Ben’s conversation ends abruptly as they tell Dora and Boots to get behind them. Doomsday is approaching and the Jedi and Methuselah duo get into their battle stances. Dora clutches the pencil she pulled out of Backpack and rushes in toward Doomsday yelling “God save Obama”! But Doomsday picks up his foot and stomps on the poor little girl. Kenobi and Long both scream “NOOOOOOO” at the sight of their young teammate’s death and rush in as well. Lazarus Long busts out some good moves but Doomsday grabs him by his head and left leg and then pulls him apart. Kenobi manages to take off a few of Doomsday spikes and to damage Doomsday’s right leg but once Doomsday knocks Kenobi’s lightsaber out of his hand, the aging Jedi Master is toast. Ben manages to hold the approaching Doomsday back with the force momentarily but Ben is not powerful enough to do it forever. Doomsday fights his way thru the force push and crushes in Obi Wan’s skull (he hasn’t gone by the name of Obi Wan, since oh….. the entire length of this match). Doomsday begins to walk away thinking that the battle is won when he is all of the sudden faced by a new threat. The valiant Boots stands alone with Ben Kenobi’s lightsaber ignited in his right hand and Lazarus Long’s vibroblade in his left. “This battle isn’t over, you’re gonna pay for all of the good people you murdered today Doomsday”. Boots says defiantly to Doomsday. As the epic battle begins…… Well never mind, I mean how do you think it ended?
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGAN’S: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Commandos are IG-88, Ben Kenobi, Black Adam, The Cloverfield Monster, Lazarus Long in a Tie-Bomber, Dora, Backpack, Boots, Map, & Dozer #1.
As the battle begins, the 2 Red Hulks flank Doomsday while Dark Phoenix takes flight. Dark Phoenix can tell telepathically that there is a creature of great power from another world within the vicinity and that she cannot have such competition. She ignites her Phoenix force and burns thru the skies toward Cloverfield. She inadvertently kills Dozer #1 on the way to the battle and The Map ignites into flames just from being within about 100 yards of the cosmic fire. Dark Phoenix lifts Cloverfield into the air with her telekinesis and the 2 of them fly into the outer rim orbit at the speed of light. Once in space she uses the Phoenix force to completely disintegrate Cloverfield. The overly apathetic Jean Grey then flies off into the Rishey Mays, beyond the outer rim to explore more interesting events. Black Adam squares off with Doomsday. The 2 powerhouses cause shockwaves that are felt all the way from Mos Espa to Anchorhead with the punches that they land on each other. Ben Kenobi and IG-88 team up to take on one of the Rulks while Dora sneaks up on the other one. Dora empties Backpack and then jumps onto the back of Rulk. Dora then puts Backpack over his head and jumps off. The blinded Rulk flails around with Backpack on his head, ripping the poor piece of living school material apart. This confusion works to opens him up to an attack from the sky. Lazarus Long radios back to the rest of the team to complain about how slow Tie-Bombers are but Lazarus switches the power from the Imperial ships lasers to the engines to boost the speed and then unloads some massive fire power into Rulk. When Lazarus pulls up the only thing left of the Red Hulk standing on the ground is the dead body of War Skrull #2. Rulk runs straight thru the laser blasts of IG-88 as the droid takes off with his jet pack. Rulk jumps into the air and pulls the bounty hunter droid down with him. Rulk quickly mangles the droid into a ball of scrap metal and then throws what is left of the droid at Lazarus Long’s Tie-Bomber. The oldest living human is able to crash land the wrecked ship in the sand and pop out. Long then regroups with Dora and Boots. Dora gives Lazarus the gun that he had put into Backpack and that she grabbed out for him, but Lazarus instead throws the gun to Boots “Here ya go buddy, you might need this” Lazarus says as he reaches under his kilt to grab his other gun and vibroblade. Black Adam has successfully worn out Doomsday, but it comes at a heavy price. Black Adam thinks he can finish off the creature with one yell of “Shazam”, but Doomsday can tell that something is up. Doomsday grabs Black Adam by the throat and squeezes so hard that Black Adam can not yell his famous attack word. Eventually Doomsday’s grip becomes so tight that it snaps the neck of the powerful Black Adam and kills him. Lazarus tells Dora and Boots to follow his lead because he has a plan. Lazarus, Dora, & Boots all stand about 8’ from Rulk and begin shooting him. Dora and Boots just like they are ordered begin singing the “we did it song” while Lazarus is simultaneously humming Elvis tunes. The bullets do little against the thick skin of Rulk who turns to the trio and asks: “Do you truly think that your puny weapons can do anything other than temporarily distract me”? Lazarus Long looks at Rulk and simply answers “No”, while Ben Kenobi rushes up behind the arrogant Rulk and rips thru his neck with his lightsaber. Ben looks over to Lazarus and says: “I have to admit Lazarus; I didn’t think that was going to work”. Lazarus replies with “In all honesty Ben, neither did I”. Lazarus and Ben’s conversation ends abruptly as they tell Dora and Boots to get behind them. Doomsday is approaching and the Jedi and Methuselah duo get into their battle stances. Dora clutches the pencil she pulled out of Backpack and rushes in toward Doomsday yelling “God save Obama”! But Doomsday picks up his foot and stomps on the poor little girl. Kenobi and Long both scream “NOOOOOOO” at the sight of their young teammate’s death and rush in as well. Lazarus Long busts out some good moves but Doomsday grabs him by his head and left leg and then pulls him apart. Kenobi manages to take off a few of Doomsday spikes and to damage Doomsday’s right leg but once Doomsday knocks Kenobi’s lightsaber out of his hand, the aging Jedi Master is toast. Ben manages to hold the approaching Doomsday back with the force momentarily but Ben is not powerful enough to do it forever. Doomsday fights his way thru the force push and crushes in Obi Wan’s skull (he hasn’t gone by the name of Obi Wan, since oh….. the entire length of this match). Doomsday begins to walk away thinking that the battle is won when he is all of the sudden faced by a new threat. The valiant Boots stands alone with Ben Kenobi’s lightsaber ignited in his right hand and Lazarus Long’s vibroblade in his left. “This battle isn’t over, you’re gonna pay for all of the good people you murdered today Doomsday”. Boots says defiantly to Doomsday. As the epic battle begins…… Well never mind, I mean how do you think it ended?
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGAN’S: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. TEAM
Team Sleeping Pussy is Mothra, Kilowag, Enchantress, Thunderbird, & Female Sentinel #1.
TEAM is God Emperor Leto II, Superman, Lando Calrissean & C-3P0 in a Stealth Bomber, Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Fred Baker, & Wile Coyote in an Arwing.
The God Emperor disappears into the vast sands of the Jundland wastes while Bashar Miles Teg barks orders at his TEAM. Fred bumps Paulo and says “Hey, did you check out that broad in the green suit. If she were any hotter, she’d be Silk Spectre”. Before any member of TEAM can stop him, Fred Baker is drawn over to Enchantress, where he is trying hard to impress her with his vast knowledge of all things comic book. Inside the Bomber Lando turns to C-3P0 and says: “Damn Threepio, we’re gonna have to get the Enchantress an umbrella with all that game Fred’s spittin”. But in true Enchantress fashion once Fred is lured over Enchantress uses her super human strength to crush his head (if all relationships only ended that easily). Wile Coyote is struggling to properly handle his Arwing. He has some extensive mechanical and rocket knowledge but he quickly finds that an Arwing is a little harder to pilot than a rocket that you light the back of with a match. Wile’s Arwing spins out of control but he is able to hit the thrusters at just the right time to cause him to crash into Female Sentinel #1 and take her out with him. Kilowag is attacked by Superman while Mothra looms above the ground ready to attack. Enchantress begins to take over the minds of the 2 gholas when they are on their way to do battle with Thunderbird but before she can she is hit by a missile fired by C-3P0 from Lando’s Stealth Bomber. Mothra is ready to begin his attack when Leto II comes crashing out of the sand and into the air. The God Emperor hits Mothra in the body and with his massive mouth and then brings the huge moth back down onto the ground with. Mothra attempts to emit some of his toxins but the massive moth cannot compete with Leto’s sheer strength and is destroyed. Despite being double teamed, Thunderbird manages to land a massive uppercut on Paulo to break his jaw. Once Paulo is down Thunderbird stabs the Kwisatz Haderach clone in the neck to finish him off. Although Thunderbird was able to match Paulo’s strength, he is not able to match Teg’s speed. Miles Teg comes up behind Thunderbird before he even can react and hits him on the back of his head with such velocity that it shakes loose the mutant’s brain. Kilowag hits Superman with a couple of powerful green energy blasts, but Superman manages to fight thru them. Kilowag holds his own well but makes his mistake when he goes in close to Superman and tries to rely on his physical strength. Kilowag may very well be the physically strongest green lantern but he soon finds out that he is not strong enough to go toe to toe with Superman. The last son of Krypton uses a double fisted punch to Kilowag’s chest to finish off the alien.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
TEAM is God Emperor Leto II, Superman, Lando Calrissean & C-3P0 in a Stealth Bomber, Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Fred Baker, & Wile Coyote in an Arwing.
The God Emperor disappears into the vast sands of the Jundland wastes while Bashar Miles Teg barks orders at his TEAM. Fred bumps Paulo and says “Hey, did you check out that broad in the green suit. If she were any hotter, she’d be Silk Spectre”. Before any member of TEAM can stop him, Fred Baker is drawn over to Enchantress, where he is trying hard to impress her with his vast knowledge of all things comic book. Inside the Bomber Lando turns to C-3P0 and says: “Damn Threepio, we’re gonna have to get the Enchantress an umbrella with all that game Fred’s spittin”. But in true Enchantress fashion once Fred is lured over Enchantress uses her super human strength to crush his head (if all relationships only ended that easily). Wile Coyote is struggling to properly handle his Arwing. He has some extensive mechanical and rocket knowledge but he quickly finds that an Arwing is a little harder to pilot than a rocket that you light the back of with a match. Wile’s Arwing spins out of control but he is able to hit the thrusters at just the right time to cause him to crash into Female Sentinel #1 and take her out with him. Kilowag is attacked by Superman while Mothra looms above the ground ready to attack. Enchantress begins to take over the minds of the 2 gholas when they are on their way to do battle with Thunderbird but before she can she is hit by a missile fired by C-3P0 from Lando’s Stealth Bomber. Mothra is ready to begin his attack when Leto II comes crashing out of the sand and into the air. The God Emperor hits Mothra in the body and with his massive mouth and then brings the huge moth back down onto the ground with. Mothra attempts to emit some of his toxins but the massive moth cannot compete with Leto’s sheer strength and is destroyed. Despite being double teamed, Thunderbird manages to land a massive uppercut on Paulo to break his jaw. Once Paulo is down Thunderbird stabs the Kwisatz Haderach clone in the neck to finish him off. Although Thunderbird was able to match Paulo’s strength, he is not able to match Teg’s speed. Miles Teg comes up behind Thunderbird before he even can react and hits him on the back of his head with such velocity that it shakes loose the mutant’s brain. Kilowag hits Superman with a couple of powerful green energy blasts, but Superman manages to fight thru them. Kilowag holds his own well but makes his mistake when he goes in close to Superman and tries to rely on his physical strength. Kilowag may very well be the physically strongest green lantern but he soon finds out that he is not strong enough to go toe to toe with Superman. The last son of Krypton uses a double fisted punch to Kilowag’s chest to finish off the alien.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. The Right Wing
I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 10 Match: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. The Right Wing.
I look into the locker room of the Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The Midgets are Stilgar, Fremen #52-56, Link, Aayla Secura with Jedi Padawan #35, Mighty Mousette and Smurf #2.
Smurf #2: I’m going to kick me some Right Wing aaahhhhhhsssssshhhhh!
Stilgar: We must use our Arrakis background to our advantage! We need to win this match! The playoffs are at stake!!!
Link: Let’s do this!!!!
I look into the locker room of The Right Wing. The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, Sandstorm, Elite Stormtroopers #1 and 2, Quinlon Vos and Droid Fighter Ship #1.
Quinlon Vos: A strong Midget team stands before us!
Sandstorm: They will not stand before our ultimate victory and chance at the playoffs!
I transport the teams to the Jundland Wastes. . . .
Stilgar leads the charge for the Midgets. Fremen #52-56 follow their Fremen leader. Stilgar and Fremen #52-56 face off against Elite Stormtroopers #1 and 2, with confidence. Although Elite Stormtroopers #1 and #2 use their deadly DLT-19 heavy blaster rifles to kill Fremen # 53 and 56, the remaining Fremen and Stilgar swarm the Imperials and kill both Elite Stormtroopers #1 and #2. Droid Fighter Ship #1 uses its sensors to locate the skirmish and flies over the Fremen. The flying machine uses its lasers to pick off Fremen #54. Droid Fighter #1 then focuses on the remaining Dune characters. Before it has a chance to dispel of another Fremen, Mighty Mousette flies to the scene. Mousette uses her super-strength and abilities to destroy Droid Fighter Ship #1. The ship crashes into the sand below.
Aayla Secura and Jedi Padawan #35 meet Quinlon Vos. All Jedi ignite their lightsabers. Vos and Secura enter into an intense fight. Their skills are nearly even, but with Jedi Padawan #35, Vos has his hands full. After several minutes of blocking, parrying and striking, Vos manages to kill Padawan #35. As the Padawan crumples to the floor, Vos faces his old Padawan.
Vos: I am impressed Aalya. You have definitely come far in your training.
Secura: I am a Republic General as you are Vos. I also have the advantage of knowing how you fight since you trained me.
Vos: But did I train you to walk on the edge of the Dark Side too, Aayla?
With these words, Vos strikes at Secura in anger. The battle continues between the two Jedi. The two are focused on one another and Vos does not notice Smurf #2 behind him. Vos trips over Smurf #2. Infuriated that Smurf #2 actually got the better of the Jedi Master, Vos slices the creature in half. Smurf #2 has served his purpose though as the distraction allows enough time for Secura to gain ground on, and kill, her former master.
Sandstorm (in buggy mode) barrels into Fremen #52 and instantly kills him. Sandstorm then transforms into robot mode. His weapon focuses on Fremen #55. In another instant, Fremen #55 is killed. Before he can kill Stilgar, Mighty Mousette flies to the scene and picks him up. She flies him to safety with the remaining Midgets.
Link determines that Sandstorm is best defeated by hitting specified “weak points” by the remaining Midgets. He relates the information to Stilgar, Secura and Mousette. Stilgar will use his Fremen skills, Secura will use her lightsaber, Mousette will use her strength and Link will use his Master Sword. The three charge at the Transformer, leaving Link behind. As Link brings out his Master Sword, he looks at the situation again and believes he has an even better idea to destroy the Autobot. Before he is able to relay this information and join his teammates, he watches his body being ripped apart by the Silver Surfer’s power cosmic.
Stilgar, Secura and Mousette begin to attack Sandstorm at the specified points noted by Link. Before he is too badly damaged, Sandstorm manages to kill Stilgar and then transform from robot mode to helicopter mode. Secura grabs onto the helicopter’s strut as the Autobot takes to the air. Sandstorm is met by Mighty Mousette in the Jundland skies. Mousette manages to rip away pieces of Sandstorm. Sandstorm plummets from the air and crashes into the ground, crushing Secura. Sandstorm begins to transform into robot mode again. Mousette uses her super-powers (strength and speed) to destroy him. She turns around to see the Silver Surfer flying at her. The Surfer stops before her and does not say a word.
Mousette: Come on! Come on! Do IT! DO IT!
With the chiding of Mousette, Silver Surfer uses the power cosmic and destroys Mighty Mousette.
Midgets: All dead.
Right Wing: Silver Surfer alive.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
I look into the locker room of the Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The Midgets are Stilgar, Fremen #52-56, Link, Aayla Secura with Jedi Padawan #35, Mighty Mousette and Smurf #2.
Smurf #2: I’m going to kick me some Right Wing aaahhhhhhsssssshhhhh!
Stilgar: We must use our Arrakis background to our advantage! We need to win this match! The playoffs are at stake!!!
Link: Let’s do this!!!!
I look into the locker room of The Right Wing. The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, Sandstorm, Elite Stormtroopers #1 and 2, Quinlon Vos and Droid Fighter Ship #1.
Quinlon Vos: A strong Midget team stands before us!
Sandstorm: They will not stand before our ultimate victory and chance at the playoffs!
I transport the teams to the Jundland Wastes. . . .
Stilgar leads the charge for the Midgets. Fremen #52-56 follow their Fremen leader. Stilgar and Fremen #52-56 face off against Elite Stormtroopers #1 and 2, with confidence. Although Elite Stormtroopers #1 and #2 use their deadly DLT-19 heavy blaster rifles to kill Fremen # 53 and 56, the remaining Fremen and Stilgar swarm the Imperials and kill both Elite Stormtroopers #1 and #2. Droid Fighter Ship #1 uses its sensors to locate the skirmish and flies over the Fremen. The flying machine uses its lasers to pick off Fremen #54. Droid Fighter #1 then focuses on the remaining Dune characters. Before it has a chance to dispel of another Fremen, Mighty Mousette flies to the scene. Mousette uses her super-strength and abilities to destroy Droid Fighter Ship #1. The ship crashes into the sand below.
Aayla Secura and Jedi Padawan #35 meet Quinlon Vos. All Jedi ignite their lightsabers. Vos and Secura enter into an intense fight. Their skills are nearly even, but with Jedi Padawan #35, Vos has his hands full. After several minutes of blocking, parrying and striking, Vos manages to kill Padawan #35. As the Padawan crumples to the floor, Vos faces his old Padawan.
Vos: I am impressed Aalya. You have definitely come far in your training.
Secura: I am a Republic General as you are Vos. I also have the advantage of knowing how you fight since you trained me.
Vos: But did I train you to walk on the edge of the Dark Side too, Aayla?
With these words, Vos strikes at Secura in anger. The battle continues between the two Jedi. The two are focused on one another and Vos does not notice Smurf #2 behind him. Vos trips over Smurf #2. Infuriated that Smurf #2 actually got the better of the Jedi Master, Vos slices the creature in half. Smurf #2 has served his purpose though as the distraction allows enough time for Secura to gain ground on, and kill, her former master.
Sandstorm (in buggy mode) barrels into Fremen #52 and instantly kills him. Sandstorm then transforms into robot mode. His weapon focuses on Fremen #55. In another instant, Fremen #55 is killed. Before he can kill Stilgar, Mighty Mousette flies to the scene and picks him up. She flies him to safety with the remaining Midgets.
Link determines that Sandstorm is best defeated by hitting specified “weak points” by the remaining Midgets. He relates the information to Stilgar, Secura and Mousette. Stilgar will use his Fremen skills, Secura will use her lightsaber, Mousette will use her strength and Link will use his Master Sword. The three charge at the Transformer, leaving Link behind. As Link brings out his Master Sword, he looks at the situation again and believes he has an even better idea to destroy the Autobot. Before he is able to relay this information and join his teammates, he watches his body being ripped apart by the Silver Surfer’s power cosmic.
Stilgar, Secura and Mousette begin to attack Sandstorm at the specified points noted by Link. Before he is too badly damaged, Sandstorm manages to kill Stilgar and then transform from robot mode to helicopter mode. Secura grabs onto the helicopter’s strut as the Autobot takes to the air. Sandstorm is met by Mighty Mousette in the Jundland skies. Mousette manages to rip away pieces of Sandstorm. Sandstorm plummets from the air and crashes into the ground, crushing Secura. Sandstorm begins to transform into robot mode again. Mousette uses her super-powers (strength and speed) to destroy him. She turns around to see the Silver Surfer flying at her. The Surfer stops before her and does not say a word.
Mousette: Come on! Come on! Do IT! DO IT!
With the chiding of Mousette, Silver Surfer uses the power cosmic and destroys Mighty Mousette.
Midgets: All dead.
Right Wing: Silver Surfer alive.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
SECOND ANNUAL FFL BAR-B-Q
I want to get some dates in August (except Aug 15-16 weekend) to hold the Barbeque.
I don't want to interfere before Ryatu's and his soon-to-be. . . make that already - better half's Wedding in July.
Asking one of my brethren to post a survey on same.
Thanks.
-Bryatu
I don't want to interfere before Ryatu's and his soon-to-be. . . make that already - better half's Wedding in July.
Asking one of my brethren to post a survey on same.
Thanks.
-Bryatu
Monday, May 11, 2009
Team Sleeping Pussy vs The Right Wing
Team Sleeping Pussy is Cyclops, Jean Grey, Ice Man, Beast, Angel, Mothra, Master Mind, Binary, Banshee, Dr. Manhattan, The Comedian, Ozymandias, Nite Owl, Capt. Metropolis, Silk Spectre, Rorschach, Blink, Giant Man, & Capt. Boomerang.
The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, Mr. Freeze, Snow Trooper #1-12, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Capt. Panaka, Droid Fighter Ship #1 & 2, Quinlan Vos, Warpath, Shintor Beerus, Red Tornado, & Baby Storm.
The Right Wing feel very confident with their starting line-up this week, with Mr. Freeze leading twelve Snowtroopers on the front line. Especially when they see what Team Sleeping Pussy decided to start this week. They see are a bunch of Compys and Jubilee. They all rush Team Sleeping Pussy and completely annihilate them, utterly disregarding the fact that this is a retreat week…
…Or at least that’s what they thought happened. Or should I say what Mastermind wanted them to think happened. Shintor Beerus was able to see through this illusion and kills Mastermind, which relinquishes his hold on The Right Wing. But when the illusion fades, they find out that The Comedian has shot and killed Baby Storm, and Giant Man has stomped Snowtroopers #10-12 into the ground. Iceman then confronts Mr. Freeze. “So you’ve got a gun that can make ice huh? Cool trick, wanna see mine?” quips Iceman as he unleashes his mutant power, which encases Mr. Freeze and all nine remaining Snowtroopers in a massive block of ice. Giant Man the brings his might fists down on the ice, which shatters all inside. Droid Fighter Ships #1 & 2 then swoop in and fire on Giant Man and put several smoldering holes in his chest. As his massive frame crashes to the ground, it takes out his own teammate Captain Boomerang. Binary, Banshee, Angel and Mothra all then engage the Droid Fighter Ships. Banshee targets Droid Fighter Ship #2 and lets loose a powerful scream which rips the plating right off of the ship sending it careening out of control into a mountainside. Binary then blasts Droid Fighter Ship #1 as it’s trying to gun down Angel, who thus far has been evading it. The Fighter Ship starts falling towards Team Sleeping Pussy’s forces, but Dr. Manhattan raises his hand and simply pulls it apart as if it were made of Play-Doh. Quinlan Vos and Shintor Beerus run in and attack The Crimebusters. Shintor makes quick work of Captain Metropolis as Quinlan Vos fights Rorschach. Rorschach is holding his own quite well against the Jedi, but honestly, only for a moment. Quinlan finally strikes him down with his lightsaber. Duncan Idaho Ghola #6 leaps into the battle against The Crimebusters and is kicked in the mouth by Ozymandias for his efforts. The Comedian jumps on top of him and blows his head off with his shotgun. Cyclops leads his X-Men in and they help out The Crimebusters. Cyclops fires his optic blasts at Quinlan Vos, but the Jedi deflects it off of his lightsaber and it kills Nite Owl. Warpath, Captain Panaka, and Red Tornado all enter this fight as well. Red Tornado then blasts Banshee with his vortex powers, which rip the flesh right off of Banshee’s skeleton. Warpath launches his vibranium daggers right into Silk Spectre’s chest. This act sends Dr. Manhattan over the edge and with a violent scream he unleashes his powers and obliterates Warpath, Quinlan Vos, Shintor Beerus, Red Tornado, and Captain Panaka into nothingness. Silver Surfer sees this and retaliates in the same fashion. He first blasts a whole right through Mothra, which he flies through on his way to the rest of Team Sleeping Pussy. He then uses his cosmic power to the entire Original X-Men (which impresses this Watcher). Binary thinks she has the cosmic power to try and stop Silver Surfer’s rampage, but she is seriously wrong. He blows her away as if she were just a snowflake falling from the sky. Ozymandias sees Silver Surfer coming and orders Blink to teleport himself and The Comedian out of the battle. She uses her powers to teleport the three of them off of Hoth, leaving Dr. Manhattan and Silver Surfer to battle it out alone. Dr. Manhattan then tries to pull Silver Surfer apart with his powers, but it doesn’t work. Silver Surfer is able to withstand Dr. Manhattan’s attack and retaliates with a cosmic blast of his own. This completely disintegrates Dr. Manhattan, but he rematerializes instantly. This back and forth goes on for several minutes, before Dr. Manhattan grows tired of the battle and teleports away. Silver Surfer is alone and confused on Hoth, but nonetheless finds himself a victor.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. TEAM
Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyatches are Darth Vader, Red Hulk, Sasquatch, Wolverine, Doomsday, Dark Phoenix, Orion, Holocaust, & Krypto.
TEAM is Superman, Comet, Streaks, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok, Luke Skywalker & R2-D2 in an X-Wing, Voltron, Galvatron, Nyobi & C-3PO in a Snow Speeder, Wile-Coyote, & Jet Li.
As the match begins Vader speaks to his troops. “Everything about this season is unacceptable. The Bryan Beckerman Division is the weakest in the league and we are only .500. We are now about to square off against the champions and we don’t even have a play-off spot clinched let alone the Division Win which Coach Hannibal has already said is an absolute must”. Wolverine chimes in with “relax Darth; look around you, this squad could rip Asteroid M apart with its teeth. We’re the best at what we do bub, and we got this match in the bag”. “Is that a guarantee Wolverine” asks Orion. “No, that’s a “Wolverentee” bub”. “I shall hope so for your sake Logan, Coach Hannibal is not as forgiving as I am”. Now that the squad’s are smaller and more elite, TEAM’s coaching staff insisted on meeting with all of the Week 9 starters before the battle. The Oracle and Mother Brain loaded the minds of all involved with so much esoteric and existentialist nonsense that it did more to confuse the team than to help but as they were leaving Spock pulled Superman and the 2 Thor’s aside to say “Remember, despite are division being the toughest in the league, our play-off chances look very good. If we are going to continue our greatness, we will need all of you”. Thunderstrike shrugs off this advice by saying “Aye! Thanks for the advice Coach Spock, but this battle at hand will be won, no matter the cost”. Spock replies with: “You’re logic frightens me. Is it not more important to win the war than the battle”? Back on the ice world of Hoth these 2 A.L. powerhouses waste no time clashing with one another. Doomsday once again begins brawling with his arch-enemy Superman, but this time Superman has the help of his 2 Super-pals Comet & Streaks. Thunderstrike and Ragnarok follow Superman’s lead and engage in hand to hand brawls with Rulk & Sasquatch, but Orion flies down to even the fight. Luke flies thru the air in his X-Wing with Nyobi flanking him in her Snow Speeder, while Voltron’s 5 Lions form together to form the Voltron from the far Universe. With his Napoleon complex raging Wolverine decides that he needs to take out the biggest guy on the team which is why he attacks Galvatron. Krypto bites the jugular of Wile Coyote but is then kicked by Jet Li. The Super Dog easily recovers from the attack and then knocks Jet Li into a snow bank on his way up, so he can distract TEAM’s ships. Holocaust prepares for battle, but as he is doing so Luke’s X-Wing comes ripping thru the skies above as if it had just come out of nowhere. Luke uses the force to sense that the opponent below him is very powerful, which is why he spares no expense when it comes to weapons. Holocaust attempts to absorb the proton torpedo attacks, but he must be ray shielded (almost 30 years of watching Star Wars and I still don’t know what that means) because Luke is able to overload the mutant with the attack and kill him. Nyobi, despite her great piloting skills is not quite used to such a small ship, so she is just doing her best to keep up with the more experienced Luke. She follows Luke, like a good Wing Woman, but then radios the mini rogue squadron leader in a panic. Nyobi has no idea how she has completely lost control of her Snow Speeder and why the controls are completely unresponsive. Luke does not know what to say to his teammate, but he has a feeling that force powers beyond his control are at play. Lord Vader from on the icey ground has used the force to take control of the Snow Speeder and has caused it to crash land in the snow bank below. Nyobi and C-3P0 are relatively unhurt as they jump out of the landed Snow Speeder and rush toward Vader (well Nyobi rushes C-3P0 is just kind of waddling). Nyobi busts out some mad kung fu stuff Norris style, but Vader blocks her kicks with his hands and then uses his lightsaber to finish her off. Darth Vader then uses the force to begin pulling C-3P0 apart, but after he gets a good look at the droid, he stops. The evil to the core Darth Vader gently puts C-3P0 back on the ground as if he just could not bring himself to hurt the droid. The Sith Lord then walks away leaving the droid alone. Thunderstrike jacks Sasquatch in the grill with Thunderstrike which kills him, but he then squares off one on one against Orion, while Ragnarok dukes it out with Rulk. Rulk uses his massive foot to knock Ragnarok down into the snow and then uses all of his might to bash in the face of Thor’s Clone and kill him. Thunderstrike dodges a punch from Orion and then comes down hard with his Thunderstrike hammer to break the Astro-Harness off of Orion. The 2 of them begin brawling after that with nothing but their amazing strength, but Thunderstrike comes out on top when the old god gets a hold of the new god and cracks his ultra durable neck. Thunderstrike grabs his hammer and stands victorious over the body of Orion, but he does not yet realize that he will not receive a break. Thunderstrike and Rulk begin battling fiercely with one another. Rulk is suited perfectly to the freezing cold climate of Hoth, where it makes it near impossible for him to overheat. Rulk ducks under Thunderstrike’s hammer and then grabs his arm and breaks it at the elbow. Rulk then delivers a massive chop to the neck of Thunderstrike which hits with such force that the not even the god of thunder can withstand the mortal wound. Luke blasts Krypto with pinpoint accuracy which sends him flying into the direction of Voltron. Voltron uses his massive sword to cut right thru the tough hide of the Kryptonian dog. Dark Phoenix sees the threat of the huge Voltron and flies in at the speed of light to meet him. Voltron in no way expects the miniscule looking Dark Phoenix to possess any where near the power needed to destroy him, but once Dark Phoenix unleashes the Phoenix force on the robot, he is instantly ripped apart and destroyed. Luke sees this amazing display of power and gets set for his attack run. Luke says: “Artoo, let’s get ready for our attack run, and by the way, this is a mighty fine gin and tonic, why don’t you mix me up another. Things are about to get messy”. Luke tries to fly in but his X-Wing is completely destroyed by just the mere remnants of the Phoenix power. Luke and R2 eject out of the X-Wing just in time before they are destroyed with it. Superman, like always holds his own against Doomsday as they trade massive hits back and forth. Comet and Streaks help out, but once Doomsday gets a good hold of them and crushes their heads together they are just not durable enough to withstand his attack. Galvatron knows that if his team is going to win this fight that they are going to need Superman so he transforms into his cannon form and blasts Doomsday. Doomsday gets back up, but once Superman sees what damage is done to Doomsday by the ranged attack he flies a few meters into the air and targets Doomsday with his heat vision. Superman then unleashes his heat vision like he has never done before while Galvatron helps him out with powerful laser blasts. When the smoke clears it is near impossible to even find a trace of Doomsday in the huge melted crater that the two members of TEAM created. Wolverine easily rips thru both R2-D2 and C-3P0 on his way to Luke. Luke draws his lightsaber and sticks it into Wolverine’s side but the mutant is able to roll with the hit. As Wolverine gets up with his healing factor already working on the wound he is able to rush in under Luke’s defenses and stab him in the chest. Galvatron transforms into his robot form and tries to target Darth Vader with his arm mounted cannon, but Vader uses the force to rip the massive weapon right off of the Decepticon. Vader then uses the force and his mechanical know-how to systematically crush and break every important part of Galvatron until his spark is extinguished. Vader orders all members of his team to regroup down on the ground while Superman hovers above them in the air. As a healed up Wolverine stands in the foreground with Dark Phoenix, Rulk, and Darth Vader behind him he says “Hey Supes! Let’s see ya come down and win this battle”. Superman feels a responsibility to avenge his fallen comrades, but instead he says to himself “No, I’d rather win the war”. Superman grabs an unconscious and half-frozen Jet Li out of a snow bank before he retreats back to base to fight another day.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGANS: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!
TEAM is Superman, Comet, Streaks, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok, Luke Skywalker & R2-D2 in an X-Wing, Voltron, Galvatron, Nyobi & C-3PO in a Snow Speeder, Wile-Coyote, & Jet Li.
As the match begins Vader speaks to his troops. “Everything about this season is unacceptable. The Bryan Beckerman Division is the weakest in the league and we are only .500. We are now about to square off against the champions and we don’t even have a play-off spot clinched let alone the Division Win which Coach Hannibal has already said is an absolute must”. Wolverine chimes in with “relax Darth; look around you, this squad could rip Asteroid M apart with its teeth. We’re the best at what we do bub, and we got this match in the bag”. “Is that a guarantee Wolverine” asks Orion. “No, that’s a “Wolverentee” bub”. “I shall hope so for your sake Logan, Coach Hannibal is not as forgiving as I am”. Now that the squad’s are smaller and more elite, TEAM’s coaching staff insisted on meeting with all of the Week 9 starters before the battle. The Oracle and Mother Brain loaded the minds of all involved with so much esoteric and existentialist nonsense that it did more to confuse the team than to help but as they were leaving Spock pulled Superman and the 2 Thor’s aside to say “Remember, despite are division being the toughest in the league, our play-off chances look very good. If we are going to continue our greatness, we will need all of you”. Thunderstrike shrugs off this advice by saying “Aye! Thanks for the advice Coach Spock, but this battle at hand will be won, no matter the cost”. Spock replies with: “You’re logic frightens me. Is it not more important to win the war than the battle”? Back on the ice world of Hoth these 2 A.L. powerhouses waste no time clashing with one another. Doomsday once again begins brawling with his arch-enemy Superman, but this time Superman has the help of his 2 Super-pals Comet & Streaks. Thunderstrike and Ragnarok follow Superman’s lead and engage in hand to hand brawls with Rulk & Sasquatch, but Orion flies down to even the fight. Luke flies thru the air in his X-Wing with Nyobi flanking him in her Snow Speeder, while Voltron’s 5 Lions form together to form the Voltron from the far Universe. With his Napoleon complex raging Wolverine decides that he needs to take out the biggest guy on the team which is why he attacks Galvatron. Krypto bites the jugular of Wile Coyote but is then kicked by Jet Li. The Super Dog easily recovers from the attack and then knocks Jet Li into a snow bank on his way up, so he can distract TEAM’s ships. Holocaust prepares for battle, but as he is doing so Luke’s X-Wing comes ripping thru the skies above as if it had just come out of nowhere. Luke uses the force to sense that the opponent below him is very powerful, which is why he spares no expense when it comes to weapons. Holocaust attempts to absorb the proton torpedo attacks, but he must be ray shielded (almost 30 years of watching Star Wars and I still don’t know what that means) because Luke is able to overload the mutant with the attack and kill him. Nyobi, despite her great piloting skills is not quite used to such a small ship, so she is just doing her best to keep up with the more experienced Luke. She follows Luke, like a good Wing Woman, but then radios the mini rogue squadron leader in a panic. Nyobi has no idea how she has completely lost control of her Snow Speeder and why the controls are completely unresponsive. Luke does not know what to say to his teammate, but he has a feeling that force powers beyond his control are at play. Lord Vader from on the icey ground has used the force to take control of the Snow Speeder and has caused it to crash land in the snow bank below. Nyobi and C-3P0 are relatively unhurt as they jump out of the landed Snow Speeder and rush toward Vader (well Nyobi rushes C-3P0 is just kind of waddling). Nyobi busts out some mad kung fu stuff Norris style, but Vader blocks her kicks with his hands and then uses his lightsaber to finish her off. Darth Vader then uses the force to begin pulling C-3P0 apart, but after he gets a good look at the droid, he stops. The evil to the core Darth Vader gently puts C-3P0 back on the ground as if he just could not bring himself to hurt the droid. The Sith Lord then walks away leaving the droid alone. Thunderstrike jacks Sasquatch in the grill with Thunderstrike which kills him, but he then squares off one on one against Orion, while Ragnarok dukes it out with Rulk. Rulk uses his massive foot to knock Ragnarok down into the snow and then uses all of his might to bash in the face of Thor’s Clone and kill him. Thunderstrike dodges a punch from Orion and then comes down hard with his Thunderstrike hammer to break the Astro-Harness off of Orion. The 2 of them begin brawling after that with nothing but their amazing strength, but Thunderstrike comes out on top when the old god gets a hold of the new god and cracks his ultra durable neck. Thunderstrike grabs his hammer and stands victorious over the body of Orion, but he does not yet realize that he will not receive a break. Thunderstrike and Rulk begin battling fiercely with one another. Rulk is suited perfectly to the freezing cold climate of Hoth, where it makes it near impossible for him to overheat. Rulk ducks under Thunderstrike’s hammer and then grabs his arm and breaks it at the elbow. Rulk then delivers a massive chop to the neck of Thunderstrike which hits with such force that the not even the god of thunder can withstand the mortal wound. Luke blasts Krypto with pinpoint accuracy which sends him flying into the direction of Voltron. Voltron uses his massive sword to cut right thru the tough hide of the Kryptonian dog. Dark Phoenix sees the threat of the huge Voltron and flies in at the speed of light to meet him. Voltron in no way expects the miniscule looking Dark Phoenix to possess any where near the power needed to destroy him, but once Dark Phoenix unleashes the Phoenix force on the robot, he is instantly ripped apart and destroyed. Luke sees this amazing display of power and gets set for his attack run. Luke says: “Artoo, let’s get ready for our attack run, and by the way, this is a mighty fine gin and tonic, why don’t you mix me up another. Things are about to get messy”. Luke tries to fly in but his X-Wing is completely destroyed by just the mere remnants of the Phoenix power. Luke and R2 eject out of the X-Wing just in time before they are destroyed with it. Superman, like always holds his own against Doomsday as they trade massive hits back and forth. Comet and Streaks help out, but once Doomsday gets a good hold of them and crushes their heads together they are just not durable enough to withstand his attack. Galvatron knows that if his team is going to win this fight that they are going to need Superman so he transforms into his cannon form and blasts Doomsday. Doomsday gets back up, but once Superman sees what damage is done to Doomsday by the ranged attack he flies a few meters into the air and targets Doomsday with his heat vision. Superman then unleashes his heat vision like he has never done before while Galvatron helps him out with powerful laser blasts. When the smoke clears it is near impossible to even find a trace of Doomsday in the huge melted crater that the two members of TEAM created. Wolverine easily rips thru both R2-D2 and C-3P0 on his way to Luke. Luke draws his lightsaber and sticks it into Wolverine’s side but the mutant is able to roll with the hit. As Wolverine gets up with his healing factor already working on the wound he is able to rush in under Luke’s defenses and stab him in the chest. Galvatron transforms into his robot form and tries to target Darth Vader with his arm mounted cannon, but Vader uses the force to rip the massive weapon right off of the Decepticon. Vader then uses the force and his mechanical know-how to systematically crush and break every important part of Galvatron until his spark is extinguished. Vader orders all members of his team to regroup down on the ground while Superman hovers above them in the air. As a healed up Wolverine stands in the foreground with Dark Phoenix, Rulk, and Darth Vader behind him he says “Hey Supes! Let’s see ya come down and win this battle”. Superman feels a responsibility to avenge his fallen comrades, but instead he says to himself “No, I’d rather win the war”. Superman grabs an unconscious and half-frozen Jet Li out of a snow bank before he retreats back to base to fight another day.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGANS: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Built Ford Tough vs The Abomitrons
Built Ford Tough is Han Solo & Chewbacca in a Snow Speeder, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Darkwing Duck, Aslan, Power Man, Iron Fist, E. Honda, USAgent, Barry Sanders & Mr. T in an AT-ST, Beta Ray Bill, The Flaming Carrot, Mr. T, Grapple, Solid Snake, Strong Guy, & Star Sapphire.
The Abomitrons are Hancock, Ewoks #49 & 51, Bucky, Ben Tennyson, Gwen, & Kevin, Wookie Soldier #31-36, Snow Trooper #26-45, Tim Cheveldae, Paul Coffey, Steve Yzerman, Bryan Murray, Olaf Kölzig, Cyborg Superman, Abin Sur, Rotta the Hutt, & Treasure Troll #17.
“Hoth?! You’re kidding me?! I hate Hoth!” exclaims Han Solo as Built Ford Tough is teleported to the frozen planet. To make matters worse, they are teleported to an area that is covered in a thick sheet of ice. They then see a blur of red and white streak around them and before they know it, Darkwing Duck is cut in half. The blur then stops to reveal himself… Paul Coffey. “That’s right. I’m Paul Coffey, yes I’m the real Coffey, all you other Paul Coffeys are just line changing,” says the fastest man on a pair of skates. “Oh, and I brought back up.” It’s at this point where Snowtroopers #26-45 come out of their hidings and start blasting Built Ford Tough. Grapple instinctively transforms into his truck mode to protect his team, but the Snowtroopers’ firepower is too much for the Autobot to withstand and he dies from the attack. “Alright team, let’s not let Grapple’s sacrifice be all for nothing. Attack!” yells Aslan the Lion. Han Solo and Chewbacca immediately take off in their Snow Speeder and start to fire on The Abomitrons. “Whoaaaa. Waa maa Warrgh,” growls Chewy. “Sorry Chewy, but I don’t think they had Wookies in mind when they built it,” replies Han. With one pass, they are able to take out Snowtroopers #26-30 and both Ewoks. Beta Ray Bill then flies into the air and launches several lightning bolts down killing Rotta the Hutt, Treasure Troll #17, and Wookie Soldiers #34-36. Barry Sanders and Mr. T, together in an AT-ST, blast Wookie Soldier #31 and Snowtroopers #37-40. “I pity da’ fool who’s not Built Ford Tough,” says Mr. T. The remaining Snowtroopers then rush Built Ford Tough’s camp and overwhelm E. Honda and The Flaming Carrot, but before they fall, they are able to kill Snowtroopers #44 and 45. Solid Snake then leaps in and single handedly kills Snowtroopers #31-36. The two Wookie Soldiers still left jump in and help Snowtroopers #41-43 finally kill Solid Snake. Mr. T and Barry Sanders are trying to kill Paul Coffey, Steve Yzerman and Bryan Murray, but Tim Cheveldae and Olaf Kölzig are blocking every blast with their Stark-Tech goalie pads. Abin Sur then comes up behind the AT-ST and uses his ring to create a giant hand that picks up the AT-ST like a curling stone and tosses it across the ice. Tim, Paul, Steve, and the Bry, along with Olie the Goalie, start yelling “Sweep! Sweep! Sweep!” as Abin Sur then creates huge green energy brooms that are sweeping the ice in front of the sliding AT-ST. “Incoming!” shouts USAgent as he sees the AT-ST sliding right for them. It crashes into Grapple’s body, exploding on impact and killing Mr. T, Barry Sanders, Diego, and Baby Jaguar. Star Sapphire then flies up and engages the Green Lantern. This however is really just a diversion, because Han Solo and Chewbacca fly up behind him and blast him out of the sky. They then do another run against The Abomitrons and take out both Gwen Tennyson and Kevin Levin. This sends Ben Tennyson into a rage and he turns into Humongousaur. He takes a chunk out of the Snow Speeder, which sends Han and Chewy crashing to the ground. They survive the crash, but the Snow Speeder’s toast. Star Sapphire then blasts a bolt of pink energy at The Abomitrons, but Paul Coffey is able to deflect it with his Stark-Tech hockey stick. Or at least that’s what he thought. Olaf Kölzig drops to the ground and bleeds out from an area of his neck that was unprotected. “Paul! You killed Olaf!” yells Bryan Murray. But before the defenseman can responds, Strong Guy comes charging in and knocks over Steve and Paul. He starts slamming his fists down on top of Tim Cheveldae, who luckily is able to withstand the blows due to his Stark-Tech padding. Steve then rips a hard slap shot right at Strong Guy and breaks his nose with the chunk of ice he just shot. The Captain then skates right towards Strong Guy and very un-Yzerman-like, he drives his stick right up underneath the chin of the mutant. “Whoa, I’ve heard of high-sticking before, but damn,” Hancock says to Steve. Power Man and Iron Fist attack the three remaining Snowtroopers and are able to dispatch them in a very straight and heterosexual way (Note: Ryatu is currently being sued by Luke Cage, who is claiming that the Watcher has defamed his name and ruined his reputation). Aslan the Lion then leaps onto the back of Wookie Soldier #32 and takes a fatal bite out of his neck. USAgent finishes off the last Wookie Soldier with a well-placed shield in the face. “Hancock! Hank! Get in there and help us! We’re getting killed!” yells the Captain. The two powerhouses first target Beta Ray Bill, or is it the other way around? I’m not sure, since all three of them clash high above the battlefield with great intensity. Beta Ray Bill strikes first and rips the right arm off of Cyborg Superman and follows it up with a hammer blow to Hancock’s sternum. Cyborg Superman then uses his heat vision to drive Beta Ray Bill back. Bill then tries to call down a powerful lightning bolt, but Hancock sees this attempt. “Oh no you don’t” he says to the Korbinite. Hancock at lightning fast speeds (pun totally intended) grabs Beta Ray Bill’s cape and whips him into the lightning bolt’s path. This gives Hancock and Cyborg Superman the opportunity they need. They attack Bill simultaneously and are finally able to defeat him. Beta Ray Bill’s body plummets to the ground. Hancock and Hank then split up to attack the rest of Built Ford Tough. Cyborg Superman makes extremely quick work of Star Sapphire, who tries to block his path back to the battle. Bucky then tries to attack USAgent. “Hey! I know Captain America, and buddy, you’re no Captain America,” says Bucky as he dropkicks USAgent. “You’re right. I’m not. I’m US F’n Agent,” replies the Captain America replacement as he crushes Bucky’s skull with his shield. He’s then rocked by a hard punch courtesy of Hancock. Power Man and Iron Fist try to lend a hand to their teammate. “Sorry, I don’t fight fairies,” says Hancock. This sends Power Man over the edge and he charges Hancock. He then however, quickly gets his neck snapped by the surly and most likely hung over Hancock. Cyborg Superman and Humongousaur then arrive to back Hancock up. Aslan the Lion feels that this battle is over for his team and orders the retreat.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos is Iorek Byrninson, Black Adam, Parallax, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Albus Dumbledore, Bizarro Superman, The Cloverfield Monster, Rodimus Prime, Maxima, Rachel Ray in an Exo-Suit, & Ahmed Best.
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Lobo, Rancor #1 & 2, Hawkman, Hawkgirl, The Power Puff Girls: Bubbles, Blossom. & Buttercup, Darkclaw, Lobo the Duck, Starro, The Technibots, Bob: Agent of HYDRA, Howard the Duck, & Aunt May.
The battle begins with Black Adam, Rodimus Prime, & Dumbledore discussing strategy. Black Adam looks to the other 2 and says: “Well this match ought to be quick, let’s see, we’ll have to blow up a couple of ewoks and teenagers and then watch some infomercial salesmen run away, right”? Rodimus replies with “tough talk, coming from a team who has never defeated them. Last I checked we have fought this team twice, and lost both times. So let’s not get cocky”. “We have to take each fight one at a time, let’s not worry about the past. We need to focus on the present if we are going to be victorious today”. Dumbledore adds. The 2 rancors, seem to be moving a little sluggishly thru the freezing landscape of Hoth which is why they are targeted by the Commandos first. Rodimus Prime and Cloverfield attack the 2 monsters quickly to take them out. Rodimus uses laser blasts while Cloverfield uses old fashioned brute force, but they both get the job done. With Ron Popeil back at the base, Howard the Duck is now ranking officer in the field. Col. Howard issues an order for all Murderflies to form up after they see their front line defeated so easily. The Murderflies briefly fall back, but then Col. Howard instantly orders his squad to go on the offensive. Col. Howard pulls his cigar out of his mouth to yell: “We haven’t lost to these guys yet, and we ain’t gonna do it on my watch”. Bob: Agent of HYDRA adds on a personal note: “yeah, and I owe Rachel Ray a good dose of revenge after the garbage bowl incident in Pre-Season, so everybody stay away from her, She’s Mine”! He no sooner says this, when Rachel Ray comes rolling up over Aunt May’s dead body (she just couldn’t handle the cold) in her Exo-Suit. Do to Bob’s typical “not so brave” attitude, it is safe to say he wouldn’t of made these last comments had he known that President Obama had supplied Rachel Ray with the team’s Exo-Suit (finally a President who gives the troops the supplies they need). Rachel Ray transforms into robot form and uses the suit’s built in lasers to blast Bob to pieces “How about some E.X.O.O. Bob” the cook turned talk show host yells as she blasts him with some Exo-oil as she calls the suit’s weaponry. Rachel Ray does a victory lap around the May and Bob’s dead bodies in rejoice of the second time she has killed the HYDRA Agent, but she doesn’t notice that The Technibots have just formed Computron and are heading her way (you know how sometimes you just don’t notice when a group of 5 huge robots form into one really huge gestalt robot…… It happens). Computron computes that Rachel Ray has a 0% probability of surviving as they stomp her and her Exo-Suit into the ground. Hawkman and Hawkgirl square off against Maxima, while Dumbledore starts dukeing it out with Lobo (I admit, I was just trying to think of a way to use the word duke in Nick & Mike’s match). Starro’s parasitic clones begin battling with Cloverfield’s similar creations while Starro himself attaches to the face of the Cloverfield monster to destroy him. Dave Bowman then flies thru Starro as if he is a ghost going thru a wall. It appears that nothing happens whatsoever from this attack until moments later when Starro completely disintegrates into mid-air. Parallax instills the fear that no one will ever remember Amalgam comics into the mind of Lobo the Duck which causes him to completely freak out. Parallax has no problem destroying the tough duck while he is huddled on the ground in fear. Dark Claw attacks Iorek Byrninson by using his claws to cut thru his armor but the huge polar bear uses the setting to his advantage as he knocks Dark Claw to the ground where the 2 combatants roll around in the ice and snow. Dark Claw stabs at Iorek twice, but neither of them prove fatal. The injured Byrninson then uses his powerful arms to pin Dark Claw to the ground and then bite the metamutant in the neck to kill him. Lobo attacks Dumbledore fiercely but the old man is quicker than he looks. Dumbledore uses a small spell to trip the main man and then finishes him off with a heavy dose of Gubraithian fire. Computron is triple teamed by Parallax, Black Adam, & Bizarro resulting in a devastating battle. The Power Puff Girls each rip off one of Ahmed Best’s limbs to use as a weapons as the beat the wounded Iorek Byrninson to death while Maxima delivers a nasty karate chop to Hawkman’s neck to take him out of commission. A furious Hawkgirl attacks Maxima, but doesn’t seem to be able to do any permanent damage. Computron manages to clap his huge metal hands together around Parallax to dispel his body of yellow energy, but the gestalt cannot withstand the pounding that is given to him by Black Adam and Bizarro. The Power Puff Girls fly in to help out Hawkgirl with Maxima, but Col. Howard decides that it is too late. With the death of The Technibots, the Murderflies fearless leader Howard the Duck issues the order for retreat.
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS IS VICTORIOUS!
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Lobo, Rancor #1 & 2, Hawkman, Hawkgirl, The Power Puff Girls: Bubbles, Blossom. & Buttercup, Darkclaw, Lobo the Duck, Starro, The Technibots, Bob: Agent of HYDRA, Howard the Duck, & Aunt May.
The battle begins with Black Adam, Rodimus Prime, & Dumbledore discussing strategy. Black Adam looks to the other 2 and says: “Well this match ought to be quick, let’s see, we’ll have to blow up a couple of ewoks and teenagers and then watch some infomercial salesmen run away, right”? Rodimus replies with “tough talk, coming from a team who has never defeated them. Last I checked we have fought this team twice, and lost both times. So let’s not get cocky”. “We have to take each fight one at a time, let’s not worry about the past. We need to focus on the present if we are going to be victorious today”. Dumbledore adds. The 2 rancors, seem to be moving a little sluggishly thru the freezing landscape of Hoth which is why they are targeted by the Commandos first. Rodimus Prime and Cloverfield attack the 2 monsters quickly to take them out. Rodimus uses laser blasts while Cloverfield uses old fashioned brute force, but they both get the job done. With Ron Popeil back at the base, Howard the Duck is now ranking officer in the field. Col. Howard issues an order for all Murderflies to form up after they see their front line defeated so easily. The Murderflies briefly fall back, but then Col. Howard instantly orders his squad to go on the offensive. Col. Howard pulls his cigar out of his mouth to yell: “We haven’t lost to these guys yet, and we ain’t gonna do it on my watch”. Bob: Agent of HYDRA adds on a personal note: “yeah, and I owe Rachel Ray a good dose of revenge after the garbage bowl incident in Pre-Season, so everybody stay away from her, She’s Mine”! He no sooner says this, when Rachel Ray comes rolling up over Aunt May’s dead body (she just couldn’t handle the cold) in her Exo-Suit. Do to Bob’s typical “not so brave” attitude, it is safe to say he wouldn’t of made these last comments had he known that President Obama had supplied Rachel Ray with the team’s Exo-Suit (finally a President who gives the troops the supplies they need). Rachel Ray transforms into robot form and uses the suit’s built in lasers to blast Bob to pieces “How about some E.X.O.O. Bob” the cook turned talk show host yells as she blasts him with some Exo-oil as she calls the suit’s weaponry. Rachel Ray does a victory lap around the May and Bob’s dead bodies in rejoice of the second time she has killed the HYDRA Agent, but she doesn’t notice that The Technibots have just formed Computron and are heading her way (you know how sometimes you just don’t notice when a group of 5 huge robots form into one really huge gestalt robot…… It happens). Computron computes that Rachel Ray has a 0% probability of surviving as they stomp her and her Exo-Suit into the ground. Hawkman and Hawkgirl square off against Maxima, while Dumbledore starts dukeing it out with Lobo (I admit, I was just trying to think of a way to use the word duke in Nick & Mike’s match). Starro’s parasitic clones begin battling with Cloverfield’s similar creations while Starro himself attaches to the face of the Cloverfield monster to destroy him. Dave Bowman then flies thru Starro as if he is a ghost going thru a wall. It appears that nothing happens whatsoever from this attack until moments later when Starro completely disintegrates into mid-air. Parallax instills the fear that no one will ever remember Amalgam comics into the mind of Lobo the Duck which causes him to completely freak out. Parallax has no problem destroying the tough duck while he is huddled on the ground in fear. Dark Claw attacks Iorek Byrninson by using his claws to cut thru his armor but the huge polar bear uses the setting to his advantage as he knocks Dark Claw to the ground where the 2 combatants roll around in the ice and snow. Dark Claw stabs at Iorek twice, but neither of them prove fatal. The injured Byrninson then uses his powerful arms to pin Dark Claw to the ground and then bite the metamutant in the neck to kill him. Lobo attacks Dumbledore fiercely but the old man is quicker than he looks. Dumbledore uses a small spell to trip the main man and then finishes him off with a heavy dose of Gubraithian fire. Computron is triple teamed by Parallax, Black Adam, & Bizarro resulting in a devastating battle. The Power Puff Girls each rip off one of Ahmed Best’s limbs to use as a weapons as the beat the wounded Iorek Byrninson to death while Maxima delivers a nasty karate chop to Hawkman’s neck to take him out of commission. A furious Hawkgirl attacks Maxima, but doesn’t seem to be able to do any permanent damage. Computron manages to clap his huge metal hands together around Parallax to dispel his body of yellow energy, but the gestalt cannot withstand the pounding that is given to him by Black Adam and Bizarro. The Power Puff Girls fly in to help out Hawkgirl with Maxima, but Col. Howard decides that it is too late. With the death of The Technibots, the Murderflies fearless leader Howard the Duck issues the order for retreat.
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS IS VICTORIOUS!
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