The Horsemen of Apokolips are Liono, Panthro, Jaga, Cheetara, Tigra, & Swamp Thing.
Bruce’s Bodacious Bullies are Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir, Elros, & Force Adept #1.
As the match begins, every member of both teams keep their distance from Swamp Thing, who although having taken to the Kashyyyk landscape well, just simply looks out of place in the crisp clear forest surrounded waters of the wookie home world. Liono has no problem with any of his other troops following orders (ya know, cause they’re all from the same cartoon). While the assertive human Elros takes any early command of his team primarily made of his Elven kin (sorry if that doesn‘t make sense to you, but its not my problem if you never read the books). Elros instantly moves toward the Horsemen’s leader Liono with his broadsword drawn, but Liono parries and the sword fight ensues. Force Adept #1, may not have a lightsaber, but he is technically a Padawan since he was taken as an apprentice by the famous Jedi Master Eeth Koth. The force was with this adept before but with only a little bit of official training this Jedi hopeful has no problem dodging the initial attacks from Swamp Thing. The El gang lets him attempt this on his own, knowing that they are going to have to focus on the Thunder Thunder Thunder Thunder CaTttsssssss if they are going to defeat this formidable Horsemen squad. Panthro shoots a spike out of his metal suspenders right thru the dome of Elladan, but then Elrond draws his sword and takes him out like some punk who has been sitting on the waiver wires for 2 years and then all of the sudden becomes part of a major trade on the season 3 draft day. Elrond, never got much playing time as a member of the Horsemen and is not only eager to exact his revenge on his former team but is happy to start fresh along with his kin as a bodacious bully. Elrond throws his sword into the air after simultaneously avenging his son and skewering Panthro and draws out an arrow from his quiver, he proceeds to shoot it thru the head of Tigra and then catch his sword before it hit’s the ground. Swamp Thing begins taking control of his surroundings and directing it towards Force Adept #1 but the force recipient dodges the initial attacks. It is not until Swamp Thing pops a massive root out of the ground to hit the force Adept in the back that he is able to stun him long enough to bring his powerful slimy arm down onto the head of the adept and take him out. Elros is a formidable swordsmen, and a pretty brawny cat (oops, I guess I should refrain from calling people cats in a match dominated with the characters that this one is). But in the long run, Elros just simply doesn’t have what it takes to compete with Liono’s ability. Liono is able to physically overpower the brother of Elrond and then finish him off with his sword. Elrond and his last remaining son Elrohir are able to come out on top in their battle against their more agile opponents Jaga & Cheetara but in the end Elrohir is unable to dodge a massive branch to the head thrown by Swamp Thing, and Elrond does not do much better than his brother when faced with a one on one sword duel with Liono.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
TEAM Vs. Oblivio
TEAM is Bruce Damico, Thanoseid, Iron lantern, & Boken.
Oblivio is Nightsister Sith Witch #19, Jedi Master #8, Sith Lord #17, & Ace Duck.
An instant power struggle emerges amongst TEAM & their 4 newly drafted members as they are thrust in to their first ever FFL match. Thanoseid instantly states that it is he who should be in charge of the 4 man forest squad, while Iron Lantern vehemently opposes the idea of ever following him. After bickering for way to long the two of them decide that Bruce should lead the squad. Boken asks “What about me”? but Iron Lantern retorts with: “can it backpacker” which ends that discussion before it begins. These newcomers are of course spending way to much time debating the ins and outs of who will lead a small group of people, when they should be formulating a plan to win. On the other side of the forest the newly formed Oblivio squad is getting to know each other in their own unique way. Darth Void (Sith Lord #17) expresses her thankfulness at finally being on a team after spending 2 years on the waiver wires: “Finally, my patience has paid off and I will have my chance to rule this league once and for all”. The Sith Lord states with an unprovoked arrogance. But this statement is not very well received by the majority of the remaining Oblivio squad. Ace Duck has no problem with what she has to say, because as a newcomer to the league, he truly has no idea of what to expect. He is anxious to get started but has no pre-conceived ideas regarding the team that drafted him. The other 2 are a different story. “For 2 years I sat while The Kennelz built their team, then when we have the best draft out of any team in the league and are destined for a play-off run I get ripped from my position and tossed onto a useless expansion team where I’ll have to compete for the division with the very team that I helped build” The Nightsister Sith Witch exclaims. “YOU, how do you think I feel, the team I was on has walked away with the division the last 2 years, now our division is even easier and our draft was great. This is sure to be The Commandos year, and I am stuck with a couple of dark side hacks and a duck”. Jedi Master #8 exclaims in a very un-Jedi like way. As both teams continue their confusion-laden conversations they both turn a corner around an immense tree to find that all eight of them are within 10 feet of each other. Bruce stands back bravely and begins to give orders to his squad, but Ace Duck is eager to make a name for himself. The Duck somersaults to the right and draws his pistol. Unaware of which of his opponents are the most dangerous he takes aim at the team’s obvious leader and blasts Bruce right between the eyes. In one fluid motion Ace Duck then hits Boken next right in the face, probably just because there is something about Boken that makes you want to shoot him in the face. Darth Void and Thanoseid instantly square off and find themselves in a power standstill. Both fighters become locked together with Thanoseid’s energy blast and Darth Void’s Sith Lightning dissipating against one another in between the 2 of them. Iron Lantern is hit with a glancing bit of Sith Lightning from The Nightsister Sith Witch, which he is able to easily fight thru, but what becomes a larger obstacle for him is the 3 large bug-like creatures that come out of nowhere and begin attacking him. These creatures are not something that Iron lantern can’t handle but they do divert him from the battle at hand. The Nightsister is not only using her powers of Sith attack on the amalgam character but is also using her powers of empathy to control the local wildlife in her favor. While this is being done Jedi Master #8 is able to jump into the fray and use his lightsaber to relieve Iron Lantern of his head. Thanoseid uses every bit of his strength to over power the Sith Lord and finally fry Darth Void where she stands. The Nightsister Sith Witch sees how this effort has weakened Thanoseid so she immediately takes over where Darth Void left off with the shooting of Sith Lightning (even though hers may not be as powerful as that of a true Sith Lords). Ace Duck and Jedi Master #8 jump on either side of Thanoseid and Ace Duck starts rapid fire shooting his laser pistol. Thanoseid, even in his weakened state is still able to dodge these attacks while fighting off the fresh blasts of Sith Lightning; but what he does not see coming is that after he dodges the laser blasts the Jedi Master on his other side sends them right back at him with his lightsaber. As all three of these attacks begin landing on him the cosmic warrior known as Thanoseid falls. The living members of Oblivio look at one another with a look of surprise as Ace Duck asks them if their old teams had ever defeated this one. It is difficult to tell if what happened next was do to a strange force link between the 3 of them or sheer coincidence, but the 2 league veterans shake theirs heads no, which is followed by all 3 fighters simultaneously screaming: “All Hail Oblivio”!
OBLIVIO IS VICTORIOUS!
Oblivio is Nightsister Sith Witch #19, Jedi Master #8, Sith Lord #17, & Ace Duck.
An instant power struggle emerges amongst TEAM & their 4 newly drafted members as they are thrust in to their first ever FFL match. Thanoseid instantly states that it is he who should be in charge of the 4 man forest squad, while Iron Lantern vehemently opposes the idea of ever following him. After bickering for way to long the two of them decide that Bruce should lead the squad. Boken asks “What about me”? but Iron Lantern retorts with: “can it backpacker” which ends that discussion before it begins. These newcomers are of course spending way to much time debating the ins and outs of who will lead a small group of people, when they should be formulating a plan to win. On the other side of the forest the newly formed Oblivio squad is getting to know each other in their own unique way. Darth Void (Sith Lord #17) expresses her thankfulness at finally being on a team after spending 2 years on the waiver wires: “Finally, my patience has paid off and I will have my chance to rule this league once and for all”. The Sith Lord states with an unprovoked arrogance. But this statement is not very well received by the majority of the remaining Oblivio squad. Ace Duck has no problem with what she has to say, because as a newcomer to the league, he truly has no idea of what to expect. He is anxious to get started but has no pre-conceived ideas regarding the team that drafted him. The other 2 are a different story. “For 2 years I sat while The Kennelz built their team, then when we have the best draft out of any team in the league and are destined for a play-off run I get ripped from my position and tossed onto a useless expansion team where I’ll have to compete for the division with the very team that I helped build” The Nightsister Sith Witch exclaims. “YOU, how do you think I feel, the team I was on has walked away with the division the last 2 years, now our division is even easier and our draft was great. This is sure to be The Commandos year, and I am stuck with a couple of dark side hacks and a duck”. Jedi Master #8 exclaims in a very un-Jedi like way. As both teams continue their confusion-laden conversations they both turn a corner around an immense tree to find that all eight of them are within 10 feet of each other. Bruce stands back bravely and begins to give orders to his squad, but Ace Duck is eager to make a name for himself. The Duck somersaults to the right and draws his pistol. Unaware of which of his opponents are the most dangerous he takes aim at the team’s obvious leader and blasts Bruce right between the eyes. In one fluid motion Ace Duck then hits Boken next right in the face, probably just because there is something about Boken that makes you want to shoot him in the face. Darth Void and Thanoseid instantly square off and find themselves in a power standstill. Both fighters become locked together with Thanoseid’s energy blast and Darth Void’s Sith Lightning dissipating against one another in between the 2 of them. Iron Lantern is hit with a glancing bit of Sith Lightning from The Nightsister Sith Witch, which he is able to easily fight thru, but what becomes a larger obstacle for him is the 3 large bug-like creatures that come out of nowhere and begin attacking him. These creatures are not something that Iron lantern can’t handle but they do divert him from the battle at hand. The Nightsister is not only using her powers of Sith attack on the amalgam character but is also using her powers of empathy to control the local wildlife in her favor. While this is being done Jedi Master #8 is able to jump into the fray and use his lightsaber to relieve Iron Lantern of his head. Thanoseid uses every bit of his strength to over power the Sith Lord and finally fry Darth Void where she stands. The Nightsister Sith Witch sees how this effort has weakened Thanoseid so she immediately takes over where Darth Void left off with the shooting of Sith Lightning (even though hers may not be as powerful as that of a true Sith Lords). Ace Duck and Jedi Master #8 jump on either side of Thanoseid and Ace Duck starts rapid fire shooting his laser pistol. Thanoseid, even in his weakened state is still able to dodge these attacks while fighting off the fresh blasts of Sith Lightning; but what he does not see coming is that after he dodges the laser blasts the Jedi Master on his other side sends them right back at him with his lightsaber. As all three of these attacks begin landing on him the cosmic warrior known as Thanoseid falls. The living members of Oblivio look at one another with a look of surprise as Ace Duck asks them if their old teams had ever defeated this one. It is difficult to tell if what happened next was do to a strange force link between the 3 of them or sheer coincidence, but the 2 league veterans shake theirs heads no, which is followed by all 3 fighters simultaneously screaming: “All Hail Oblivio”!
OBLIVIO IS VICTORIOUS!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Pre-Season Match: Hayley's Comets vs. Better Than All Of You
Better Than All Of You is Predator’s #3-5, Orc #1 and Cobra Viper #1
Hayley’s Comets are The Shining Force, 8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball
It was a warm sticky day on the planet of Kashyyyk. Small amounts of light were attempting to find its way through the thick foliage that covers the entire planet. For the natives of Edean, this is a normal occurrence. Something one gets used to after spending a lifetime on the planet. Today was not a normal day though. For this day was going to be filled with the bloodshed and chaos from the visitors of this match.
As per usual, the two teams have been transported to their separate specified areas away from each other. This is not usually a cause for concern, but today is not your average day. The two teams begin their match the way most teams do, by setting up a battle plan and trying to figure out who their opponent is going to be. The only problem with that today, is that neither team can seem to find their respective opponent.
You see, I am not sure if it was on purpose or if it was a miscalculation in the transportation system, but both teams are no-where near each other. It appears that one team has been transported to the very top of the tree landscape and the other team has been placed on the ground floor of the former Czerka Corporation slave planet. This means that the two teams are miles away from each other, with no real idea of where their opponent is located.
For tactical purposes, this match seems to be in favor of the veteran team of Better Than All Of You. They have been placed in the treetop, where they have the advantage of having the high ground. This wouldn’t normally be such a huge deal if it weren’t for the fact that this is Hayley’s Comet’s first match ever. The very naïve and inexperienced team is still working out the kinks of getting their home base together, let alone actually fighting a match.
As both teams settle into the vast surroundings that Wookie Planet C has to offer, they begin to realize that they are no-where near their opponents. They look all over the place, even screaming and firing weapons to try and get the attention of the other team. It took them both a couple hours to come to grips with the fact that this match was going to take much longer to fight then anyone of them ever counted on. This next part was brutal to watch and though I know I am not allowed to interfere, I have never been more tempted to do just that.
Soon enough, the hours turned into days. Then the days turned into a week. During this time many things happened, including many of The Shining Forces members becoming victims to the numerous different animal species on the ground level. Luckily for them though, 8-Ball in all of his engineering genius, had managed to devise many trap’s to catch much of the danger that surrounded them.
Better Than All of You’s Predators were all fine, as they were used to being on the hunt for extended periods of time. The Predators also made sure that Orc #1 and Cobra Viper #1 were well taken care of as well. Predator #4 even took some time out of searching for the enemy and helped the Cobra Viper learn how to accurately shoot his weapon. The Predator had been appalled when he saw what a miserable shot the Viper had been. As another week went by, both teams began to wonder if the time in this match was equal to the actual time of the season.
Naturally the time of this match has no reflection of how real time goes, but it was something that both teams had never really thought of before. I don’t know the exact time exchange that occurs during a match, but no more then a few hours will pass regardless of how long the match may seem to the combatants. With that being said, I will just skip to the part where the Predator’s finally found 11-Ball taking a leak in the newly created bark bathroom on the side of one of the trees.
It has been two and a half months since the match first started. 76 days that I will never be able to get back. At this point the Shining Force had spread out into small groups that were all over the place. Some of them were in the trees and others were spread out along the ground in small search parties. 8-Ball’s gang had pretty much stuck together, though 6-Ball had been known to wonder off for hours at a time without telling anyone where he had gone off to.
Back with the Predator’s…
The three Predator’s had ceased to use their invisibility cloaking for sometime now, as the threat of danger has yet to be upon them. Today was different though, today was the day this match would finally come to an end. All three Predator’s knew the advantage was in their favor, as they began to finally put an end to this never-ending story-err I mean match.
The Predator’s at this time had all switched on their invisibility cloak’s, making them part of the forest to the large group of Comet’s below them. They decided to spread out and try to cover as much ground as they could. Predator #3 spotted a group of five or six people as he moved on down the tree he had been climbing. Instead of taking his time studying his opponents like a Predator would normally do, he decided that it had been long enough since he had taken a life. He took three quick, but accurate shots at Anri, Diane and Gong, killing all of them with shots to the head.
The remaining members of the group instantly took cover, quickly hiding away from the Predator. Predator #4 and 5 each had equally successful opening shots on their opponents, killing Alef, Arthur, Mae, Gort, Guntz, Ken and Khris. This opening attack on the Comet’s was brutal, but they still had strength in numbers. Immediately Tao started to light the forest on fire with a Blaze1 spell in hopes of bringing out her attacker. Unfortunately for her though, the spell did nothing but light up the sky. All three Predator’s had come out of the initial fight unscathed.
The 8-Ball gang was together at the time the attack’s started and had come up with many different plan’s on how to handle an ambush such as this. They of course were still in the dark for who their opponent was, but at least they were ready for the fight. 8-Ball and his boys had rigged the trees in various places with explosives that he had concocted using G5-623’s natural ingredients. It wasn’t a guarantee that any of this would work, but it was the best they could do with such limited resources.
Meanwhile up in the trees…
Orc #1 and the Cobra Viper were keeping watch of the base. They were a bit worried as they had been alone now for days. They were both trying their hardest to stay alert to any possible danger, but as it had been months since they had first came to this place, the worry at this point seemed to be a bit lacking.
On the flip side to this, Max (the leader of The Shining Force) had been gone for three weeks in search of his enemies. It had been a long arduous journey up to this point, especially if you factor in their lack of any new information. They were still unable to locate their enemies whereabouts and the doubt in the back of Max’s mind in regards to the decision to make this trip, had already begun to grow. Max himself had been riding on the back of Bleu the dragon, as he knew the only way to the top of the forest was going to be through air travel.
Joining him on his trip were Balbaroy and Amon, who were bird people and the Wing Knight named Kokichi. The five of them had been traveling together for weeks now and they were all feeling the effects of the trip. None of them had eaten very much and they were all very tired. The hot and humid weather that this planet had to offer was not helping either. As the day turned into night, Max had decided to call it for now and make camp for the night.
They naturally flew to the highest point they could get to and made their stay for the night. Taking turns on look out was always the best option in a situation like this, though the last couple of days this duty seemed less and less important. The lack of danger in their journey had also taken away their attention to defense, just as it had for the Orc and the Cobra Viper. If it were any other night, this lack of attention would not have affected them so; but tonight was not any other night. For tonight was the night that they were no longer sleeping unnoticed.
Back on the ground…
The remaining Comet’s had decided to cull their efforts together in an attempt to use their numbers to their advantage. The only problem with their situation though, was the fact that they still did not know who they were even fighting against. The Predator’s knew this fact and it was the reason why they had remained stagnant since their initial offensive display. They had watched 8-Ball and his gang set-up their trap’s and were staying put until the time was right.
8-Ball remained confident in his creations and was letting none of his teammates know how truly uncertain he was feeling about all of this. He knew that as long as his team was blind to their opponents, they would be at a fatal disadvantage. It was in this thinking that he decided to use something other then his technical abilities. He knew that despite his un-tapped potential, the werewolf Zylo still was very useful. Normally Zylo would be thought of for his physical strength, but this time it was his innate sense of smell that would be needed. 8-Ball had explained to Zylo his plan and through a series of loud distractions, he would be able to search through the trees unnoticed.
The Predators were very watchful of all the commotion that was taking place below them, but were still unable to know exactly what was going on. This fact did not sit well with Predator #3, who had grown impatient with this situation. He decided that somebody needed to make a move and if his opponent's were not going to make one, he would do it instead. Predator #3 began to move about the trees when out of the blue, explosions began to go off all around him.
The bright flashes from the fire blinded all of the Predators for the time being, though the only one it truly affected was #3. He could no longer see where he was going and during his last jump, missed a branch entirely and fell to the ground. It was still too far away from the Comet’s base camp for them to hear it, but it was close enough for Zylo to pick-up on it. The Predator had been hurt by his fall, not enough to kill him, but his injuries were going to take a long time to overcome. It took a second for the Predator to regain his balance and as soon as he did, he realized that he was not alone.
Though the Predator was still invisible to Zylo, Zylo knew that he was around. The smell that was emanating off of the Predator was very distinctive, making his presence very much known to the wolf. The Predator stood there in plain sight, as he knew there was no point in hiding behind a tree. He waited until he had a clear shot at the wolf, but before he was even able to get a shot off, Zylo lit off an array of fireworks to alert his team of their enemy’s presence.
As soon as 8-Ball saw Zylo’s signal, he unleashed a reign of fire around the perimeter of their base camp. He had rigged the majority of the trees in the area with the explosives he had created and with the help of his gang, set the forest ablaze. Tao and Arthur both used their Blaze 1 spell’s to ignite the explosives and Hans was able to launch a large amount of fire arrows into the surrounding forest. There was no way to know if this scorched earth plan was going to work, but now that they knew their enemies were near them, they figured it might be able to shed some light (literally) on the situation.
Back at the top…
As soon as Orc #1 noticed the Comet’s camp, he alerted his teammate to the situation. They knew that without the help of the Predator’s, this fight was going to be rather difficult to win. On the other hand though, they knew that they could not let this opportunity pass them by. Despite the disadvantage in numbers, the Orc and the Cobra Viper had a plan. It was obvious to them that by the way the others were acting, that the human was their leader. It was also obvious to them that if they were spotted, it would not take them long to be disposed of.
This was why the death of the human was so important. If they could get rid of him, they might be able to gain the tactical advantage in this fight. The plan was going to be simple. The Orc would divert their attention to the tree below them. Then the Cobra Viper would shoot the human in the head. As soon as the Viper disposed of the human, the Orc would launch one of the explosives the Predator’s left for them into their camp, hopefully killing everyone in the process.
The Orc quietly climbed down onto the branch below, diversion in hand. He was moments away from initiating the plan when he realized that one of the bird people were missing. He looked around for a second and could not see the creature anywhere. Then right as he was about to launch the object he had in his hand, he saw something move. He noticed the bird person flying up from the branches below. It was then that he realized his plan wasn’t going to go as he thought it would. As he attempted to stay still on the tree he slipped a bit, making just the slightest bit of noise. This slip-up got the attention of Amon and blew the cover of the Orc.
The Orc now knew that the only option he had was to use himself as the diversion and hope his teammate would be able to take care of the plan on his own. The Orc took a deep breathe and as Amon darted right at the Orc, he jumped off of the branch he was standing on and tackled the bird creature down into the dark forest and they began to fall into the void that would become their grave. The Viper now knew that he was on his own and that he would only get one shot at this. He took one look at the alerted human leader and hoped all the practice he did with the Predator was worth it.
Back on the ground…
The reign of fire was a good idea in theory, but that theory was not exactly paying off. Sure the bright light of the fire was blinding Predator’s #4 and 5, but it was not getting the Comet’s any closer to seeing their opponents. 8-Ball was now terrified that his plan had failed and was wondering what had happened to Zylo. He knew that he had survived long enough to get the fireworks off, but past that he was not sure what was going on. He still had no clue to what they were up against and was now thinking that his rookie status in this league was a bigger deterrent then he originally thought.
Predator #3 continued to stand his ground in the middle of the forest, while Zylo slowly tried to smell his way towards his opponent. The werewolf tried to be as quiet as he could, as he knew his opponent was very close. The Predator was now aware that the wolf could detect him, but being the inquisitive creature that he was, he was more interested in facing him face to face then just killing him with his cannon. Zylo was getting very close to the distinct smell of his opponent, when all of a sudden he saw the Predator appear out of what seemed to be thin air.
The werewolf instantly pounced on the Predator, actually knocking him to the ground with the force of his attack. This instant attack was a surprise to the Predator, as he was used to his opponent’s being in aw of his presence. The wolf began tearing at the skin of the already injured Predator, spilling small amounts of green blood on the ground of the forest. The Predator then got a hit in on Zylo, knocking him into the side of one of the trees. The wolf was disoriented by this hit but quickly charged back at Predator, this time with a razor sharp object in hand. The Predator quickly noticed the object but did not brandish his blade quite yet. Instead he let the wolf charge at him and get the first strike in. This allowed the Predator the chance to push Zylo aside and then plunge his blade into the back of his enemy, which is exactly what he did.
The Wolf let out a great howl as the blade pierced his back. The howl was short lived though as the Predator in one fluid motion retracted the blade from his opponent’s back and just as quickly snapped his neck. Zylo’s lifeless body fell to the ground as Predator #3 ran towards the remainder of his opponents. Though the Predator was injured and bleeding a bit, it was not enough to stop him from keeping up the fight.
As the rest of the Comet’s team tried to reformulate an attack plan, the two tree residing Predator’s began to climb back up into the forest to gain a clear view of the situation.
Back at the top…
As they always say, practice makes perfect. This was made apparent by the fact that Max’s now lifeless body was falling to its eventual resting spot on the Edeanian floor. The shot from the Cobra Viper’s gun was the first accurate shot in the history of the organization. The resulting death was also only the beginning as the Viper threw one of the Predator’s explosives at the stunned flying members of the Comet’s. The tree erupted into flames as the explosive went off, blowing all three Comet members out in the vast forest.
Both the dragon and the wing knight were killed in the explosion, but Balbaroy the other bird person was able to regain control of himself and flew right back up to the tree in which the Viper was standing on. Though the winged creature was hurt, he was not willing to give this match up to the lowly common. He flew directly at the Viper trooper, almost knocking him from the branch he was standing on. The Viper then took aim with his gun and began to fire as many shots as he could towards his winged opponent. A couple of the shots struck the bird, injuring him very badly.
Balbaroy knew he could not take many more shots from the trooper, so instead of going in for one last direct charge, he decided to take the trooper out from below. The Viper Trooper took notice of this but was unable to do anything but to except his fate and fall to his eventual death. Though despite death, he would fall with the knowledge that he had already done more then anyone would have ever expected from him in a match. Balbaroy then began his long trip back to the Comet’s home base, a trip that he knew he would not survive.
Back to the ground floor…
The forest continued to burn as the Comet’s waited for their opponents to zero in on them. They could not leave their temporary home, as it was the only place in the forest that was safe to them. 8-Ball had the entire surrounding area rigged with more explosives and traps. The only problem with his plan though, was that the only way the traps would work is if their opponents came to them. As of right now, the plan wasn’t working.
Predator’s #4 and 5 had each found new locations in the branches above the burning base. They looked down on their enemies and contemplated their next move. They knew the young teams decision to burn the forest had backfired and that they would be in disarray for the time being. They also knew that their fellow Predator was down on the ground, most likely charging at the Comet’s in his usual hasty manor. Predator #3 was always the first one into any battle, which had given him the reputation of being reckless. This had always made for a difficult relationship between him and the other Predator’s, as they have always been more patient and willing to wait for an opening, opposed to creating one for themselves.
Predator’s #4 and 5 in their observations had noticed several carefully placed traps all around the perimeter of the base. They knew that these were no more then just simple net trapping devises. Nothing they couldn’t out maneuver, but still a danger to them nonetheless. As they stayed there in the tree, Predator #4 noticed something moving directly outside the Comet’s base. After focusing in more directly on the object, he came to the conclusion that the movement was none other then their own teammate. He was heading directly towards the enemies location, but more then that, he was heading right for a trap.
Both high-ground Predator’s cursed their teammate for his haste and began to think of a way to fix this problem before it happened. Just as they began to try to fix this problem, Predator #3 began to run towards the trap. The Predator began to wildly fire his weapon into the base of the Comet’s, almost as if was trying to announce his presence. The Comet’s quickly responded to the Predator’s attacks by launching as much firepower at him at once. The Predator continued his forward attack towards the Comet’s when all of a sudden one of the trap’s that 8-Ball had set went off.
It was just a simple net trap, but it did the job as the Predator was encapsulated into the various fibers and foliage that made up its contents. He was now trapped in the netting, with only the brutality of the Comet’s left to look forward to. His fellow teammates could only watch from above, as he remained trapped. They started to move in towards the Comet’s base when all of a sudden, both of their computer systems began to detect something.
You see, Predator #3 might not have been very patient in his decisions, but that didn’t mean they were not thought out. He knew that his injuries were severe enough to the point that he was no longer a strong asset to his team. In doing this act, he was confident he could solidify a victory for his teammates. As soon as Predator’s #4 and 5 checked out their notification systems, they realized what was happening. They immediately changed their direction and began to climb as fast as they could away from the Comet’s home base.
The large group that still made up the Comet’s team assembled below the netting, firing anything and everything at their trapped opponent. After they were confident the creature was dead, 8-Ball cut down the netting and finally revealed the Predator to the Comet’s. What they found was a creature covered in bright green blood, with a band on his arm that was emitting a noise. The noise kept getting louder and louder and before anyone on the Comet’s knew what to do, the entire floor of the Kashyyykian forest was engulfed in light.
As the bomb went off, both remaining Predator’s felt the blast and held on to the trees as best as they could. Though their grips were tight, they were not strong enough to hold on as they both fell several hundred feet to the ground. After all was said and done, both Predator’s were lying critically injured on the forest floor. The Predator’s knew that their wounds were too much for them to overcome. Luckily for them though, it would be just enough time to survive, as Balbaroy succumbed to his wounds just after the explosion went off. Handing Predator #4 and 5 the victory over the inexperienced Comet’s team.
Hayley’s Comets: All Dead
Better Than All Of You: Predator #4 and 5: Still Alive (Barely)
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!
Hayley’s Comets are The Shining Force, 8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball
It was a warm sticky day on the planet of Kashyyyk. Small amounts of light were attempting to find its way through the thick foliage that covers the entire planet. For the natives of Edean, this is a normal occurrence. Something one gets used to after spending a lifetime on the planet. Today was not a normal day though. For this day was going to be filled with the bloodshed and chaos from the visitors of this match.
As per usual, the two teams have been transported to their separate specified areas away from each other. This is not usually a cause for concern, but today is not your average day. The two teams begin their match the way most teams do, by setting up a battle plan and trying to figure out who their opponent is going to be. The only problem with that today, is that neither team can seem to find their respective opponent.
You see, I am not sure if it was on purpose or if it was a miscalculation in the transportation system, but both teams are no-where near each other. It appears that one team has been transported to the very top of the tree landscape and the other team has been placed on the ground floor of the former Czerka Corporation slave planet. This means that the two teams are miles away from each other, with no real idea of where their opponent is located.
For tactical purposes, this match seems to be in favor of the veteran team of Better Than All Of You. They have been placed in the treetop, where they have the advantage of having the high ground. This wouldn’t normally be such a huge deal if it weren’t for the fact that this is Hayley’s Comet’s first match ever. The very naïve and inexperienced team is still working out the kinks of getting their home base together, let alone actually fighting a match.
As both teams settle into the vast surroundings that Wookie Planet C has to offer, they begin to realize that they are no-where near their opponents. They look all over the place, even screaming and firing weapons to try and get the attention of the other team. It took them both a couple hours to come to grips with the fact that this match was going to take much longer to fight then anyone of them ever counted on. This next part was brutal to watch and though I know I am not allowed to interfere, I have never been more tempted to do just that.
Soon enough, the hours turned into days. Then the days turned into a week. During this time many things happened, including many of The Shining Forces members becoming victims to the numerous different animal species on the ground level. Luckily for them though, 8-Ball in all of his engineering genius, had managed to devise many trap’s to catch much of the danger that surrounded them.
Better Than All of You’s Predators were all fine, as they were used to being on the hunt for extended periods of time. The Predators also made sure that Orc #1 and Cobra Viper #1 were well taken care of as well. Predator #4 even took some time out of searching for the enemy and helped the Cobra Viper learn how to accurately shoot his weapon. The Predator had been appalled when he saw what a miserable shot the Viper had been. As another week went by, both teams began to wonder if the time in this match was equal to the actual time of the season.
Naturally the time of this match has no reflection of how real time goes, but it was something that both teams had never really thought of before. I don’t know the exact time exchange that occurs during a match, but no more then a few hours will pass regardless of how long the match may seem to the combatants. With that being said, I will just skip to the part where the Predator’s finally found 11-Ball taking a leak in the newly created bark bathroom on the side of one of the trees.
It has been two and a half months since the match first started. 76 days that I will never be able to get back. At this point the Shining Force had spread out into small groups that were all over the place. Some of them were in the trees and others were spread out along the ground in small search parties. 8-Ball’s gang had pretty much stuck together, though 6-Ball had been known to wonder off for hours at a time without telling anyone where he had gone off to.
Back with the Predator’s…
The three Predator’s had ceased to use their invisibility cloaking for sometime now, as the threat of danger has yet to be upon them. Today was different though, today was the day this match would finally come to an end. All three Predator’s knew the advantage was in their favor, as they began to finally put an end to this never-ending story-err I mean match.
The Predator’s at this time had all switched on their invisibility cloak’s, making them part of the forest to the large group of Comet’s below them. They decided to spread out and try to cover as much ground as they could. Predator #3 spotted a group of five or six people as he moved on down the tree he had been climbing. Instead of taking his time studying his opponents like a Predator would normally do, he decided that it had been long enough since he had taken a life. He took three quick, but accurate shots at Anri, Diane and Gong, killing all of them with shots to the head.
The remaining members of the group instantly took cover, quickly hiding away from the Predator. Predator #4 and 5 each had equally successful opening shots on their opponents, killing Alef, Arthur, Mae, Gort, Guntz, Ken and Khris. This opening attack on the Comet’s was brutal, but they still had strength in numbers. Immediately Tao started to light the forest on fire with a Blaze1 spell in hopes of bringing out her attacker. Unfortunately for her though, the spell did nothing but light up the sky. All three Predator’s had come out of the initial fight unscathed.
The 8-Ball gang was together at the time the attack’s started and had come up with many different plan’s on how to handle an ambush such as this. They of course were still in the dark for who their opponent was, but at least they were ready for the fight. 8-Ball and his boys had rigged the trees in various places with explosives that he had concocted using G5-623’s natural ingredients. It wasn’t a guarantee that any of this would work, but it was the best they could do with such limited resources.
Meanwhile up in the trees…
Orc #1 and the Cobra Viper were keeping watch of the base. They were a bit worried as they had been alone now for days. They were both trying their hardest to stay alert to any possible danger, but as it had been months since they had first came to this place, the worry at this point seemed to be a bit lacking.
On the flip side to this, Max (the leader of The Shining Force) had been gone for three weeks in search of his enemies. It had been a long arduous journey up to this point, especially if you factor in their lack of any new information. They were still unable to locate their enemies whereabouts and the doubt in the back of Max’s mind in regards to the decision to make this trip, had already begun to grow. Max himself had been riding on the back of Bleu the dragon, as he knew the only way to the top of the forest was going to be through air travel.
Joining him on his trip were Balbaroy and Amon, who were bird people and the Wing Knight named Kokichi. The five of them had been traveling together for weeks now and they were all feeling the effects of the trip. None of them had eaten very much and they were all very tired. The hot and humid weather that this planet had to offer was not helping either. As the day turned into night, Max had decided to call it for now and make camp for the night.
They naturally flew to the highest point they could get to and made their stay for the night. Taking turns on look out was always the best option in a situation like this, though the last couple of days this duty seemed less and less important. The lack of danger in their journey had also taken away their attention to defense, just as it had for the Orc and the Cobra Viper. If it were any other night, this lack of attention would not have affected them so; but tonight was not any other night. For tonight was the night that they were no longer sleeping unnoticed.
Back on the ground…
The remaining Comet’s had decided to cull their efforts together in an attempt to use their numbers to their advantage. The only problem with their situation though, was the fact that they still did not know who they were even fighting against. The Predator’s knew this fact and it was the reason why they had remained stagnant since their initial offensive display. They had watched 8-Ball and his gang set-up their trap’s and were staying put until the time was right.
8-Ball remained confident in his creations and was letting none of his teammates know how truly uncertain he was feeling about all of this. He knew that as long as his team was blind to their opponents, they would be at a fatal disadvantage. It was in this thinking that he decided to use something other then his technical abilities. He knew that despite his un-tapped potential, the werewolf Zylo still was very useful. Normally Zylo would be thought of for his physical strength, but this time it was his innate sense of smell that would be needed. 8-Ball had explained to Zylo his plan and through a series of loud distractions, he would be able to search through the trees unnoticed.
The Predators were very watchful of all the commotion that was taking place below them, but were still unable to know exactly what was going on. This fact did not sit well with Predator #3, who had grown impatient with this situation. He decided that somebody needed to make a move and if his opponent's were not going to make one, he would do it instead. Predator #3 began to move about the trees when out of the blue, explosions began to go off all around him.
The bright flashes from the fire blinded all of the Predators for the time being, though the only one it truly affected was #3. He could no longer see where he was going and during his last jump, missed a branch entirely and fell to the ground. It was still too far away from the Comet’s base camp for them to hear it, but it was close enough for Zylo to pick-up on it. The Predator had been hurt by his fall, not enough to kill him, but his injuries were going to take a long time to overcome. It took a second for the Predator to regain his balance and as soon as he did, he realized that he was not alone.
Though the Predator was still invisible to Zylo, Zylo knew that he was around. The smell that was emanating off of the Predator was very distinctive, making his presence very much known to the wolf. The Predator stood there in plain sight, as he knew there was no point in hiding behind a tree. He waited until he had a clear shot at the wolf, but before he was even able to get a shot off, Zylo lit off an array of fireworks to alert his team of their enemy’s presence.
As soon as 8-Ball saw Zylo’s signal, he unleashed a reign of fire around the perimeter of their base camp. He had rigged the majority of the trees in the area with the explosives he had created and with the help of his gang, set the forest ablaze. Tao and Arthur both used their Blaze 1 spell’s to ignite the explosives and Hans was able to launch a large amount of fire arrows into the surrounding forest. There was no way to know if this scorched earth plan was going to work, but now that they knew their enemies were near them, they figured it might be able to shed some light (literally) on the situation.
Back at the top…
As soon as Orc #1 noticed the Comet’s camp, he alerted his teammate to the situation. They knew that without the help of the Predator’s, this fight was going to be rather difficult to win. On the other hand though, they knew that they could not let this opportunity pass them by. Despite the disadvantage in numbers, the Orc and the Cobra Viper had a plan. It was obvious to them that by the way the others were acting, that the human was their leader. It was also obvious to them that if they were spotted, it would not take them long to be disposed of.
This was why the death of the human was so important. If they could get rid of him, they might be able to gain the tactical advantage in this fight. The plan was going to be simple. The Orc would divert their attention to the tree below them. Then the Cobra Viper would shoot the human in the head. As soon as the Viper disposed of the human, the Orc would launch one of the explosives the Predator’s left for them into their camp, hopefully killing everyone in the process.
The Orc quietly climbed down onto the branch below, diversion in hand. He was moments away from initiating the plan when he realized that one of the bird people were missing. He looked around for a second and could not see the creature anywhere. Then right as he was about to launch the object he had in his hand, he saw something move. He noticed the bird person flying up from the branches below. It was then that he realized his plan wasn’t going to go as he thought it would. As he attempted to stay still on the tree he slipped a bit, making just the slightest bit of noise. This slip-up got the attention of Amon and blew the cover of the Orc.
The Orc now knew that the only option he had was to use himself as the diversion and hope his teammate would be able to take care of the plan on his own. The Orc took a deep breathe and as Amon darted right at the Orc, he jumped off of the branch he was standing on and tackled the bird creature down into the dark forest and they began to fall into the void that would become their grave. The Viper now knew that he was on his own and that he would only get one shot at this. He took one look at the alerted human leader and hoped all the practice he did with the Predator was worth it.
Back on the ground…
The reign of fire was a good idea in theory, but that theory was not exactly paying off. Sure the bright light of the fire was blinding Predator’s #4 and 5, but it was not getting the Comet’s any closer to seeing their opponents. 8-Ball was now terrified that his plan had failed and was wondering what had happened to Zylo. He knew that he had survived long enough to get the fireworks off, but past that he was not sure what was going on. He still had no clue to what they were up against and was now thinking that his rookie status in this league was a bigger deterrent then he originally thought.
Predator #3 continued to stand his ground in the middle of the forest, while Zylo slowly tried to smell his way towards his opponent. The werewolf tried to be as quiet as he could, as he knew his opponent was very close. The Predator was now aware that the wolf could detect him, but being the inquisitive creature that he was, he was more interested in facing him face to face then just killing him with his cannon. Zylo was getting very close to the distinct smell of his opponent, when all of a sudden he saw the Predator appear out of what seemed to be thin air.
The werewolf instantly pounced on the Predator, actually knocking him to the ground with the force of his attack. This instant attack was a surprise to the Predator, as he was used to his opponent’s being in aw of his presence. The wolf began tearing at the skin of the already injured Predator, spilling small amounts of green blood on the ground of the forest. The Predator then got a hit in on Zylo, knocking him into the side of one of the trees. The wolf was disoriented by this hit but quickly charged back at Predator, this time with a razor sharp object in hand. The Predator quickly noticed the object but did not brandish his blade quite yet. Instead he let the wolf charge at him and get the first strike in. This allowed the Predator the chance to push Zylo aside and then plunge his blade into the back of his enemy, which is exactly what he did.
The Wolf let out a great howl as the blade pierced his back. The howl was short lived though as the Predator in one fluid motion retracted the blade from his opponent’s back and just as quickly snapped his neck. Zylo’s lifeless body fell to the ground as Predator #3 ran towards the remainder of his opponents. Though the Predator was injured and bleeding a bit, it was not enough to stop him from keeping up the fight.
As the rest of the Comet’s team tried to reformulate an attack plan, the two tree residing Predator’s began to climb back up into the forest to gain a clear view of the situation.
Back at the top…
As they always say, practice makes perfect. This was made apparent by the fact that Max’s now lifeless body was falling to its eventual resting spot on the Edeanian floor. The shot from the Cobra Viper’s gun was the first accurate shot in the history of the organization. The resulting death was also only the beginning as the Viper threw one of the Predator’s explosives at the stunned flying members of the Comet’s. The tree erupted into flames as the explosive went off, blowing all three Comet members out in the vast forest.
Both the dragon and the wing knight were killed in the explosion, but Balbaroy the other bird person was able to regain control of himself and flew right back up to the tree in which the Viper was standing on. Though the winged creature was hurt, he was not willing to give this match up to the lowly common. He flew directly at the Viper trooper, almost knocking him from the branch he was standing on. The Viper then took aim with his gun and began to fire as many shots as he could towards his winged opponent. A couple of the shots struck the bird, injuring him very badly.
Balbaroy knew he could not take many more shots from the trooper, so instead of going in for one last direct charge, he decided to take the trooper out from below. The Viper Trooper took notice of this but was unable to do anything but to except his fate and fall to his eventual death. Though despite death, he would fall with the knowledge that he had already done more then anyone would have ever expected from him in a match. Balbaroy then began his long trip back to the Comet’s home base, a trip that he knew he would not survive.
Back to the ground floor…
The forest continued to burn as the Comet’s waited for their opponents to zero in on them. They could not leave their temporary home, as it was the only place in the forest that was safe to them. 8-Ball had the entire surrounding area rigged with more explosives and traps. The only problem with his plan though, was that the only way the traps would work is if their opponents came to them. As of right now, the plan wasn’t working.
Predator’s #4 and 5 had each found new locations in the branches above the burning base. They looked down on their enemies and contemplated their next move. They knew the young teams decision to burn the forest had backfired and that they would be in disarray for the time being. They also knew that their fellow Predator was down on the ground, most likely charging at the Comet’s in his usual hasty manor. Predator #3 was always the first one into any battle, which had given him the reputation of being reckless. This had always made for a difficult relationship between him and the other Predator’s, as they have always been more patient and willing to wait for an opening, opposed to creating one for themselves.
Predator’s #4 and 5 in their observations had noticed several carefully placed traps all around the perimeter of the base. They knew that these were no more then just simple net trapping devises. Nothing they couldn’t out maneuver, but still a danger to them nonetheless. As they stayed there in the tree, Predator #4 noticed something moving directly outside the Comet’s base. After focusing in more directly on the object, he came to the conclusion that the movement was none other then their own teammate. He was heading directly towards the enemies location, but more then that, he was heading right for a trap.
Both high-ground Predator’s cursed their teammate for his haste and began to think of a way to fix this problem before it happened. Just as they began to try to fix this problem, Predator #3 began to run towards the trap. The Predator began to wildly fire his weapon into the base of the Comet’s, almost as if was trying to announce his presence. The Comet’s quickly responded to the Predator’s attacks by launching as much firepower at him at once. The Predator continued his forward attack towards the Comet’s when all of a sudden one of the trap’s that 8-Ball had set went off.
It was just a simple net trap, but it did the job as the Predator was encapsulated into the various fibers and foliage that made up its contents. He was now trapped in the netting, with only the brutality of the Comet’s left to look forward to. His fellow teammates could only watch from above, as he remained trapped. They started to move in towards the Comet’s base when all of a sudden, both of their computer systems began to detect something.
You see, Predator #3 might not have been very patient in his decisions, but that didn’t mean they were not thought out. He knew that his injuries were severe enough to the point that he was no longer a strong asset to his team. In doing this act, he was confident he could solidify a victory for his teammates. As soon as Predator’s #4 and 5 checked out their notification systems, they realized what was happening. They immediately changed their direction and began to climb as fast as they could away from the Comet’s home base.
The large group that still made up the Comet’s team assembled below the netting, firing anything and everything at their trapped opponent. After they were confident the creature was dead, 8-Ball cut down the netting and finally revealed the Predator to the Comet’s. What they found was a creature covered in bright green blood, with a band on his arm that was emitting a noise. The noise kept getting louder and louder and before anyone on the Comet’s knew what to do, the entire floor of the Kashyyykian forest was engulfed in light.
As the bomb went off, both remaining Predator’s felt the blast and held on to the trees as best as they could. Though their grips were tight, they were not strong enough to hold on as they both fell several hundred feet to the ground. After all was said and done, both Predator’s were lying critically injured on the forest floor. The Predator’s knew that their wounds were too much for them to overcome. Luckily for them though, it would be just enough time to survive, as Balbaroy succumbed to his wounds just after the explosion went off. Handing Predator #4 and 5 the victory over the inexperienced Comet’s team.
Hayley’s Comets: All Dead
Better Than All Of You: Predator #4 and 5: Still Alive (Barely)
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS vs. L'NAPOLEON'S BRIGADE
"The trees themselves are strangers."
―Jolee Bindo [src]
I look at the teams to do battle on Kashyyk during this pre-season match. They are as follows:
Commandos: Rodimus Prime, Tarful, Claire Danes, David Hasselhoff, Rachel Ray, Batzarro, Dora, Backpack, Map, Boots, Benny, Tico, Isa, Ahmed Best, Zombie Al Dawg, Zombie Dozer #1, Ewok Baby #5.
Brigade: Emperor Palpatine, Darth Nihilus, Karg, Skeletor Crack Troopers #1 and #2 and Stormtrooper #51.
Dora, with Backpack in tow, walks with her friends Boots, Benny, Tico and Isa in the Kashyyk forest.
Dora: Ola! We need to get to safety! There are a lot of very bad things out there! How are we going to get to safety? Who do we ask when we don’t know which way to go . . . . . . . Right, Map! Say Map….
Map magically flies out of Backpack. Map then shows the Commando members in Dora’s posse how to reach safety. To reach safety, they must travel over the Woolwarricca Plains, through the Myyydril Caves and end on the Wartaki Islands.
Map: Woolwarricca Plains; Myyydril Caves; Wartaki Islands. Woolwarricca Plains; Myyydril Caves; Wartaki Islands.
Dora: Okay everyone, come on, vamanos!
The group travels through the forest to the Woolwarricca Plains. They notice Stormtrooper #51 and hide in the plain’s foliage. Stormtrooper #51 has feelings of rejection, having recently learned of his failure to make the latest cut of Vader’s 501st. The Imperial soldier sees a rustle amongst the bushes. These are not the same bushes that Dora and her friends are in though; he notices a person who almost single-handedly destroyed the Star Wars franchise- Ahmed Best. Best is stumbling with his arms flailing in the air. Best is heard muttering high pitched and annoying anecdotes to himself. Stormtrooper #51 puts Best out of his misery with a blast between the eyes. Stormtrooper #51 then notices Dora and her companions. He lowers his blaster and is about to fire when he is attacked by Tarful. The battle between Tarful and the Stormtrooper is monumental, but Tarful is eventually bested and killed. While the two are in their deadly battle, Dora and her crew escape.
Dora’s posse reaches a small forest. They are met by Skeletor’s Crack Troopers #1 and #2. The Crack Troopers smile to themselves as they know Dora’s group is easy prey. As the Troopers are about to fire their blasters and kill the youngsters, Batzarro comes upon the scene. Batzarro uses his metal chain to wrap around the legs of, and trip, Trooper #1. Although Trooper #1 falls to the ground, Trooper #2 manages to fire his weapon and kill Batzarro. The Dora crew now faces imminent death from Skeletor’s Crack Troopers. The Troopers stride toward Dora and her friends when they are attacked by Zombie Al Dawg and Zombie Dozer #1. Although the two were somewhat weak characters while living, in death, both Zombie Al Dawg and Zombie Dozer #1 are forces to be reckoned with. The two zombies manage to overpower and kill Trooper #2. As they are about to attack Trooper #1, Karg joins the fray. While Skeletor’s minions are fighting the zombies, Dora and her friends escape. Meanwhile, the field commander of Skeletor’s army joins his soldier and together, they destroy Zombies Dawg and Dozer.
Dora’s group reaches the Myyydril Caves. They hear sounds within the cave and slowly creep inside. They see teammates Rachel Ray, David Hasselhoff and Claire Danes. Ray is cooking burgers on a small hibachi while a drunken Hasselhoff is on the ground eating a hamburger in his Baywatch trunks and Daines is reminiscing about “My So Called Life.” It is incredulous that her teammates are not involved in the battle, but instead are acting like self-absorbed f@$ks.
Dora: Rachel! David! Claire! We need help to find the Wartaki Islands!
Karg (entering the caves with Crack Trooper #1): You will not find it now. . .
Hasselhoff (rises, with his burger in hand): Step off, says the Hoff!
The original Knight Rider is riddled with blaster fire. Shortly after, his body is joined by Claire Danes and Rachel Ray. In the ruckus, Dora’s clan manages to escape, once again.
The Dora troop finally manages to reach the waters which lead to the Wartaki Islands. She sees now, why safety is there. In the near distance, she sees a small islet with Rodimus Prime (and Baby Ewok #5 on his shoulder). Rodimus scans the beach and sees what is about to transpire with Karg and Crack Trooper #1 lowering their blasters at the Commando crew.
Rodimus: Dora, down!!!
As Dora and the remaining Commandos duck, Rodimus pinpoints his enemies and blasts Karg and Crack Trooper #1. Ewok Baby #5 excitedly shouts at Rodimus killing the two Brigade members. Dora and her crew use the bodies of Karg and Crack Trooper #1 as flotation devices in order to reach the Rodimus islet. A blaster shot is heard in the distance. Ewok Baby #5’s head is blown off of his shoulders. The Commandos turn around to see Stormtrooper #51’s blaster muzzle smoking. Out from the brush, joining the Empire’s soldier, are Darth Nihilus and Emperor Palpatine. Rodimus jumps over the Dora flotilla and battles Nihilus and Palpatine. The firepower of Rodimus repeatedly batters the Sith. Darth Nihilus takes the brunt of Prime’s blasts and eventually succumbs to the Autobot. Palpatine on the other hand, manages to turn Prime’s power back on the machine, and with his own force lightning, eventually proves that the Sith will one day rule again. Prime is destroyed.
Palpatine looks to Dora, Backpack, Map, Boots, Benny, Isa and Tico.
Palpatine: Dora, you and the others- join me and we will become a force to be reckoned with in the FFL. The Commandos do not respect your worth; come to the Dark Side; come to the Brigade!
Dora: Hannah and Barack respect us! They respect all on our team! We’ll never join you!
Palpatine: Entonces usted morirá!!!!
Lightning springs from Palpatine’s hands and kills the remaining Commandos. Their bodies fall into the water and their charred remains float on the surface. Palpatine turns to Stormtrooper #51.
Palpatine: Let’s see what strings I can pull with regard to your admission to the 501st. . .
Commandos: All dead.
Brigade: Emperor Palpatine and Stormtrooper #51 live.
L’NAPOLEON’S BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!!!
―Jolee Bindo [src]
I look at the teams to do battle on Kashyyk during this pre-season match. They are as follows:
Commandos: Rodimus Prime, Tarful, Claire Danes, David Hasselhoff, Rachel Ray, Batzarro, Dora, Backpack, Map, Boots, Benny, Tico, Isa, Ahmed Best, Zombie Al Dawg, Zombie Dozer #1, Ewok Baby #5.
Brigade: Emperor Palpatine, Darth Nihilus, Karg, Skeletor Crack Troopers #1 and #2 and Stormtrooper #51.
Dora, with Backpack in tow, walks with her friends Boots, Benny, Tico and Isa in the Kashyyk forest.
Dora: Ola! We need to get to safety! There are a lot of very bad things out there! How are we going to get to safety? Who do we ask when we don’t know which way to go . . . . . . . Right, Map! Say Map….
Map magically flies out of Backpack. Map then shows the Commando members in Dora’s posse how to reach safety. To reach safety, they must travel over the Woolwarricca Plains, through the Myyydril Caves and end on the Wartaki Islands.
Map: Woolwarricca Plains; Myyydril Caves; Wartaki Islands. Woolwarricca Plains; Myyydril Caves; Wartaki Islands.
Dora: Okay everyone, come on, vamanos!
The group travels through the forest to the Woolwarricca Plains. They notice Stormtrooper #51 and hide in the plain’s foliage. Stormtrooper #51 has feelings of rejection, having recently learned of his failure to make the latest cut of Vader’s 501st. The Imperial soldier sees a rustle amongst the bushes. These are not the same bushes that Dora and her friends are in though; he notices a person who almost single-handedly destroyed the Star Wars franchise- Ahmed Best. Best is stumbling with his arms flailing in the air. Best is heard muttering high pitched and annoying anecdotes to himself. Stormtrooper #51 puts Best out of his misery with a blast between the eyes. Stormtrooper #51 then notices Dora and her companions. He lowers his blaster and is about to fire when he is attacked by Tarful. The battle between Tarful and the Stormtrooper is monumental, but Tarful is eventually bested and killed. While the two are in their deadly battle, Dora and her crew escape.
Dora’s posse reaches a small forest. They are met by Skeletor’s Crack Troopers #1 and #2. The Crack Troopers smile to themselves as they know Dora’s group is easy prey. As the Troopers are about to fire their blasters and kill the youngsters, Batzarro comes upon the scene. Batzarro uses his metal chain to wrap around the legs of, and trip, Trooper #1. Although Trooper #1 falls to the ground, Trooper #2 manages to fire his weapon and kill Batzarro. The Dora crew now faces imminent death from Skeletor’s Crack Troopers. The Troopers stride toward Dora and her friends when they are attacked by Zombie Al Dawg and Zombie Dozer #1. Although the two were somewhat weak characters while living, in death, both Zombie Al Dawg and Zombie Dozer #1 are forces to be reckoned with. The two zombies manage to overpower and kill Trooper #2. As they are about to attack Trooper #1, Karg joins the fray. While Skeletor’s minions are fighting the zombies, Dora and her friends escape. Meanwhile, the field commander of Skeletor’s army joins his soldier and together, they destroy Zombies Dawg and Dozer.
Dora’s group reaches the Myyydril Caves. They hear sounds within the cave and slowly creep inside. They see teammates Rachel Ray, David Hasselhoff and Claire Danes. Ray is cooking burgers on a small hibachi while a drunken Hasselhoff is on the ground eating a hamburger in his Baywatch trunks and Daines is reminiscing about “My So Called Life.” It is incredulous that her teammates are not involved in the battle, but instead are acting like self-absorbed f@$ks.
Dora: Rachel! David! Claire! We need help to find the Wartaki Islands!
Karg (entering the caves with Crack Trooper #1): You will not find it now. . .
Hasselhoff (rises, with his burger in hand): Step off, says the Hoff!
The original Knight Rider is riddled with blaster fire. Shortly after, his body is joined by Claire Danes and Rachel Ray. In the ruckus, Dora’s clan manages to escape, once again.
The Dora troop finally manages to reach the waters which lead to the Wartaki Islands. She sees now, why safety is there. In the near distance, she sees a small islet with Rodimus Prime (and Baby Ewok #5 on his shoulder). Rodimus scans the beach and sees what is about to transpire with Karg and Crack Trooper #1 lowering their blasters at the Commando crew.
Rodimus: Dora, down!!!
As Dora and the remaining Commandos duck, Rodimus pinpoints his enemies and blasts Karg and Crack Trooper #1. Ewok Baby #5 excitedly shouts at Rodimus killing the two Brigade members. Dora and her crew use the bodies of Karg and Crack Trooper #1 as flotation devices in order to reach the Rodimus islet. A blaster shot is heard in the distance. Ewok Baby #5’s head is blown off of his shoulders. The Commandos turn around to see Stormtrooper #51’s blaster muzzle smoking. Out from the brush, joining the Empire’s soldier, are Darth Nihilus and Emperor Palpatine. Rodimus jumps over the Dora flotilla and battles Nihilus and Palpatine. The firepower of Rodimus repeatedly batters the Sith. Darth Nihilus takes the brunt of Prime’s blasts and eventually succumbs to the Autobot. Palpatine on the other hand, manages to turn Prime’s power back on the machine, and with his own force lightning, eventually proves that the Sith will one day rule again. Prime is destroyed.
Palpatine looks to Dora, Backpack, Map, Boots, Benny, Isa and Tico.
Palpatine: Dora, you and the others- join me and we will become a force to be reckoned with in the FFL. The Commandos do not respect your worth; come to the Dark Side; come to the Brigade!
Dora: Hannah and Barack respect us! They respect all on our team! We’ll never join you!
Palpatine: Entonces usted morirá!!!!
Lightning springs from Palpatine’s hands and kills the remaining Commandos. Their bodies fall into the water and their charred remains float on the surface. Palpatine turns to Stormtrooper #51.
Palpatine: Let’s see what strings I can pull with regard to your admission to the 501st. . .
Commandos: All dead.
Brigade: Emperor Palpatine and Stormtrooper #51 live.
L’NAPOLEON’S BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. Team S.P.
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are:
Young Jedi Knight #1, Samurai 1,2,3,4,5, and 6, and Jenna Jameson
Team S.P. are:
Kang the conqueror, The Flash (Jay Garrick), and Spiderwoman
The lush home world of the Wookies echoes with the distant sounds of combat.
High above the wroshyr trees the din of the fighting below fades away and you can hear… bickering?
“Why on earth should I listen to you? You’re just some fruitcake quasi Buddhist with a laser sword?” said Jenna, mocking the Young Jedi Knight who was, until then, successfully organizing the 6 samurai.
“At least I’m not wearing clear acrylic high heels to a showdown with Kang the friggin Conqueror!” responded the Jedi Knight struggling to keep his emotions in check.
“Oh please,” retorted Jenna, “He’s just a dude, he doesn’t even have any super powers. Besides! You’ve got your spooky space magic or whatever you call it… Why are we on top of this rock anyway?”
“This, is the Korrokrrayyo Mountain, it is the highest point on this planet and will give us a clear tactical adva…”
Just then, a flash of sunlight glinted up from the Forrest floor below. It seemed too far away to worry about so the Jedi Knight went back to organizing the Samurai and going over sword techniques.
Meanwhile at the foot of the mountain the flash had returned to his team. “I’ve begun the diversion. My helmet is hung in a tree and should reflect enough sunlight to distract them every few minutes. It should keep them from noticing what we’re doing until it’s too late.”
“Excellent!” said Kang, “Continue this level of performance and maybe your precious Joan will live to see another day!”
“You Bastard I ought to…” began Jay.
“Enough!” exclaimed Spiderwoman. “I don’t like this any more than you do Flash, but we’re stuck here. So let’s move.”
With that the battle was joined, Kang and Spiderwoman had snuck around the mountain to the side opposite Jay’s flashing helmet and were preparing for the climb when 3 Samurai surprised them.
The surprise was understandable, because all three arrived at terminal velocity.
The bodies slammed into Kang narrowly missing Spiderwoman.
Kang lay dead at the foot of the mountain, the crumpled bodies of the three samurai, lying motionless around him.
Jay had vibrated through the side of the mountain just in time to witness the death of Kang.
“What do we do now Jessica?” he asked.
“Code names only in the field Flash, it’s Spiderwoman, and those jerks almost killed me. I intend to head up the mountain and find out what the hell is going on up there. For all we know those idiots are throwing these samurai at us on purpose…”
Back on the top of the mountain, Jenna was noticeably upset. “Look! It’s not my fault they got distracted and fell! All I was doing is buckling my shoe back up. It was loose!”
The Jedi knight was about to respond when he stopped suddenly. “I sense a disturban…” his sentence was cut short, his lightsaber flashed into action and he moved to block a red streak that was coming at him.
Unfortunately for the Jedi, Jay Garrick was able to vibrate at the exact frequency required to pass through the plasma in the swords blue blade. The Flash’s flattened hand struck the young Jedi’s trachea at super sonic speed, cracking it and nearly severing his head, leaving him in a crumpled heap.
The three remaining Samurai moved in, shoulder to shoulder, screaming in unison and drawing their swords. Spiderwoman finshed her ascent up the mountain in time to parry the outside two of the samurai blades and fire a venom blast of bio-electric energy at the third central samurai, stopping his sword in mid swing. The two remaining samurai, suffering from the intoxicating effects of Spiderwoman’s pheromones, attacked Jenna Jameson who had moved in to shove Jay Garrick off the mountain.
Jenna attempted to dodge the attacks but her ridiculous acrylic heels proved to be her downfall...
literally.
In a complete loss of balance, her hands searching for purchase, she managed to grab the armor of the remaining samurai. Unfortunately for them, they lacked the leverage to stop her fall or prevent their own. They all tumbled down the mountain together landing in a heap on top of the other samurai and the body of Kang the conqueror.
“Heh! What are the odds of that!?” said Jay. “They all landed in the same pile!”
“Yeah, weird… lets go home and see if we can free your wife from that time-machine trap Kang felt the need to put her in before this whole thing started.” Responded Jessica.
The Kennelz? All Deceased.
Team SP: Untouched with the exception of Kang.
Team S.P. Is Victorious!
Young Jedi Knight #1, Samurai 1,2,3,4,5, and 6, and Jenna Jameson
Team S.P. are:
Kang the conqueror, The Flash (Jay Garrick), and Spiderwoman
The lush home world of the Wookies echoes with the distant sounds of combat.
High above the wroshyr trees the din of the fighting below fades away and you can hear… bickering?
“Why on earth should I listen to you? You’re just some fruitcake quasi Buddhist with a laser sword?” said Jenna, mocking the Young Jedi Knight who was, until then, successfully organizing the 6 samurai.
“At least I’m not wearing clear acrylic high heels to a showdown with Kang the friggin Conqueror!” responded the Jedi Knight struggling to keep his emotions in check.
“Oh please,” retorted Jenna, “He’s just a dude, he doesn’t even have any super powers. Besides! You’ve got your spooky space magic or whatever you call it… Why are we on top of this rock anyway?”
“This, is the Korrokrrayyo Mountain, it is the highest point on this planet and will give us a clear tactical adva…”
Just then, a flash of sunlight glinted up from the Forrest floor below. It seemed too far away to worry about so the Jedi Knight went back to organizing the Samurai and going over sword techniques.
Meanwhile at the foot of the mountain the flash had returned to his team. “I’ve begun the diversion. My helmet is hung in a tree and should reflect enough sunlight to distract them every few minutes. It should keep them from noticing what we’re doing until it’s too late.”
“Excellent!” said Kang, “Continue this level of performance and maybe your precious Joan will live to see another day!”
“You Bastard I ought to…” began Jay.
“Enough!” exclaimed Spiderwoman. “I don’t like this any more than you do Flash, but we’re stuck here. So let’s move.”
With that the battle was joined, Kang and Spiderwoman had snuck around the mountain to the side opposite Jay’s flashing helmet and were preparing for the climb when 3 Samurai surprised them.
The surprise was understandable, because all three arrived at terminal velocity.
The bodies slammed into Kang narrowly missing Spiderwoman.
Kang lay dead at the foot of the mountain, the crumpled bodies of the three samurai, lying motionless around him.
Jay had vibrated through the side of the mountain just in time to witness the death of Kang.
“What do we do now Jessica?” he asked.
“Code names only in the field Flash, it’s Spiderwoman, and those jerks almost killed me. I intend to head up the mountain and find out what the hell is going on up there. For all we know those idiots are throwing these samurai at us on purpose…”
Back on the top of the mountain, Jenna was noticeably upset. “Look! It’s not my fault they got distracted and fell! All I was doing is buckling my shoe back up. It was loose!”
The Jedi knight was about to respond when he stopped suddenly. “I sense a disturban…” his sentence was cut short, his lightsaber flashed into action and he moved to block a red streak that was coming at him.
Unfortunately for the Jedi, Jay Garrick was able to vibrate at the exact frequency required to pass through the plasma in the swords blue blade. The Flash’s flattened hand struck the young Jedi’s trachea at super sonic speed, cracking it and nearly severing his head, leaving him in a crumpled heap.
The three remaining Samurai moved in, shoulder to shoulder, screaming in unison and drawing their swords. Spiderwoman finshed her ascent up the mountain in time to parry the outside two of the samurai blades and fire a venom blast of bio-electric energy at the third central samurai, stopping his sword in mid swing. The two remaining samurai, suffering from the intoxicating effects of Spiderwoman’s pheromones, attacked Jenna Jameson who had moved in to shove Jay Garrick off the mountain.
Jenna attempted to dodge the attacks but her ridiculous acrylic heels proved to be her downfall...
literally.
In a complete loss of balance, her hands searching for purchase, she managed to grab the armor of the remaining samurai. Unfortunately for them, they lacked the leverage to stop her fall or prevent their own. They all tumbled down the mountain together landing in a heap on top of the other samurai and the body of Kang the conqueror.
“Heh! What are the odds of that!?” said Jay. “They all landed in the same pile!”
“Yeah, weird… lets go home and see if we can free your wife from that time-machine trap Kang felt the need to put her in before this whole thing started.” Responded Jessica.
The Kennelz? All Deceased.
Team SP: Untouched with the exception of Kang.
Team S.P. Is Victorious!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Right Wing vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
"This place is wild and untamed. It stirs the blood and makes one feel...alive."
―Juhani[src]
I look at the teams to do battle on Kashyyk during this pre-season match. They are as follows:
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer, Jool Nooret, Ewok Babies #3 and #4, and Tyrannosaurus Rex #16.
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: Ted Nugent, Captain Planet’s Crew- Captain Planet, Kwame, Linka, Ma-Ti, Gi, Wheeler and Suchi, Marines #20-23, Ewoks #5-11 and Aunt May.
The combatants appear in the lush forests of Kashyyk's highest peak, Korrokrrayyo Mountain. Sampson’s Aunt May is bundled in a scarf and overcoat. She is a tad bit disoriented since she is only used to the steel monoliths of New York City, not the gigantic wroshyr trees which currently surround her. As she is walking, she stumbles upon Ewok Babies #3 and #4.
May: Oh you babies are so cute and adorable! Bless your little hearts!
Ewok Babies #3 and #4 coo as Aunt May comes closer. As May reaches down to rub Ewok #3’s tummy, the babies’ innate cannibalistic tendencies surface. Both Ewok Babies gnash their teeth and growl at Aunt May. Aunt May is startled, backs up and trips over a log which litters the forest floor. The Babies waddle over to the fallen May, teeth showing. Aunt May realizes her predicament and begins to suffer a heart attack. The last thing Peter Parker’s aunt hears and sees before she dies is the ripping of her flesh and the gnashing of teeth as the Ewok Babies feast upon her flesh. Marines #20-23 arrive at the sight of Ewok Babies #3 and 4 feasting upon May’s corpse. Disgusted at the sight (yet shockingly drawn to observe at the same time-like a car crash during rush hour), they fire their weapons. The bullets rip through both Ewok Babies, whose shredded bodies fall on May’s chewed-upon corpse. As the Marines move away from the scene, Jool Nooret crashes from the trees branches above, squarely in the center of all Marines. Before the Marines are able to load their weapons again, Nooret slashes, slices and dices through all four Marines #20, 21, 22 and 23, whom fall to the ground. It is only a short time before the Marines’ bodies are dragged away by the native Kashyyk scavengers.
A few hundred feet away is Ted Nugent and Ewoks #5-11. Although the remaining Ewoks are gyrating to Nugent’s acoustic version of “Little Miss Dangerous,” Ewok #5 can be seen behind a log, snorting doogle berries. As Nugent finishes his song he sees Tyrannosaurus Rex #16 walking through the forest. Ted Nugent slings his guitar over his shoulder and rushes away from the Ewoks. He quickly camouflages himself to look like the dirt and moss floor of the forest. Ted unholsters his bow and arrow. He has Tyrannosaurus Rex #16 in his sights.
Nugent: Oh, Fred Bear, walk with me down the trails again,
Take me back, back where I belong.
Oh, Fred Bear, I’m glad to have you by my side, my friend,
And I’ll join you in the big hunt before too long,
Before too long.
With the spirit of Fred Bear in his heart, Nugent guides his arrow to the chest of the T. Rex. The T. Rex roars in agony as the arrow has found its mark. The dinosaur then notices that Nugent has strung another arrow in his bow. Before Nugent is able to fire, the T. Rex chases the guitarist.
Nugent (while running away, is heard to scream, in his best Motor-City Madman howl): Fred Bear!!! Why have you forsaken me!!!!!
The T. Rex is about to engulf Nugent within its salivating maw when it is struck by the Captain Planet crew. Kwame uses his power to shift the earth and Linka uses her power of the wind to cause the T. Rex to stumble. Unfortunately when the T. Rex stumbles, Wheeler is too close and is crushed as the dinosaur lands on the ground. Captain Planet uses his superhuman strength and stamina to pummel the T. Rex, while Suchi flings its’ feces at the dinosaur. While Captain Planet is killing the dinosaur (and the monkey is flinging its pooh), Ma-Ti telepathically communicates with the T. Rex to assuage its’ feelings of imminent death. Gi is about to give her speech about the protection of all animals (including this T. Rex) when she looks down to see Jool Nooret’s blade slice her in half. The Sword Master then dispatches Ma-Ti and Suchi.
Ted Nugent rushes to the scene to help the Planeteers. Before Nugent is able to reach the battle, the Ginaz Swordmaster manages to kill Kwame and Linka too. Captain Planet, having defeated T. Rex #16 and having seen his fellow Planeteers killed by Nooret, combines forces with Nugent. Nugent’s pinpoint accuracy with his bow and Captain Planet’s overall abilities combine to overpower and destroy Nooret.
Having seen Nugent in battle-action, Ewoks #5 (still out-of-his-mind) and #6-11 cheer their teammate on. Before the celebration becomes too unruly, Silver Surfer cruises on his surfboard to the scene. The Surfer uses his cosmic powers to destroy both the remaining Planeteer and guitar legend.
Just as the Surfer is about to kill the Ewoks and travel back to his locker room, he hears the slurred shouting of Ewok #5. The other Ewoks jump to various parts of the forest and spring their trap. The Surfer is met by various log-type weapon machinations. The logs manage to smash the Surfer off his board. The Silver Surfer falls to the ground. The Ewoks pounce on the herald and begin to stab him with the spears they have newly attained. As the Surfer is about to succumb to this most embarrassing death, the board travels back to the Surfer. The Surfer shakes the haze out of his head and kills Ewoks #6-11 with a cosmic blast. Ewok #5 (having recognized his failure of completing team-induced rehab) gives the middle-finger salute to the Surfer. The last defiant action of Ewok #5 does not go unnoticed. The Surfer ponders the event, shakes his finger and points to the Endor-native. Ewok #5 is engulfed in flames from the power cosmic and dies.
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: All dead.
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer survives.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!
―Juhani[src]
I look at the teams to do battle on Kashyyk during this pre-season match. They are as follows:
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer, Jool Nooret, Ewok Babies #3 and #4, and Tyrannosaurus Rex #16.
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: Ted Nugent, Captain Planet’s Crew- Captain Planet, Kwame, Linka, Ma-Ti, Gi, Wheeler and Suchi, Marines #20-23, Ewoks #5-11 and Aunt May.
The combatants appear in the lush forests of Kashyyk's highest peak, Korrokrrayyo Mountain. Sampson’s Aunt May is bundled in a scarf and overcoat. She is a tad bit disoriented since she is only used to the steel monoliths of New York City, not the gigantic wroshyr trees which currently surround her. As she is walking, she stumbles upon Ewok Babies #3 and #4.
May: Oh you babies are so cute and adorable! Bless your little hearts!
Ewok Babies #3 and #4 coo as Aunt May comes closer. As May reaches down to rub Ewok #3’s tummy, the babies’ innate cannibalistic tendencies surface. Both Ewok Babies gnash their teeth and growl at Aunt May. Aunt May is startled, backs up and trips over a log which litters the forest floor. The Babies waddle over to the fallen May, teeth showing. Aunt May realizes her predicament and begins to suffer a heart attack. The last thing Peter Parker’s aunt hears and sees before she dies is the ripping of her flesh and the gnashing of teeth as the Ewok Babies feast upon her flesh. Marines #20-23 arrive at the sight of Ewok Babies #3 and 4 feasting upon May’s corpse. Disgusted at the sight (yet shockingly drawn to observe at the same time-like a car crash during rush hour), they fire their weapons. The bullets rip through both Ewok Babies, whose shredded bodies fall on May’s chewed-upon corpse. As the Marines move away from the scene, Jool Nooret crashes from the trees branches above, squarely in the center of all Marines. Before the Marines are able to load their weapons again, Nooret slashes, slices and dices through all four Marines #20, 21, 22 and 23, whom fall to the ground. It is only a short time before the Marines’ bodies are dragged away by the native Kashyyk scavengers.
A few hundred feet away is Ted Nugent and Ewoks #5-11. Although the remaining Ewoks are gyrating to Nugent’s acoustic version of “Little Miss Dangerous,” Ewok #5 can be seen behind a log, snorting doogle berries. As Nugent finishes his song he sees Tyrannosaurus Rex #16 walking through the forest. Ted Nugent slings his guitar over his shoulder and rushes away from the Ewoks. He quickly camouflages himself to look like the dirt and moss floor of the forest. Ted unholsters his bow and arrow. He has Tyrannosaurus Rex #16 in his sights.
Nugent: Oh, Fred Bear, walk with me down the trails again,
Take me back, back where I belong.
Oh, Fred Bear, I’m glad to have you by my side, my friend,
And I’ll join you in the big hunt before too long,
Before too long.
With the spirit of Fred Bear in his heart, Nugent guides his arrow to the chest of the T. Rex. The T. Rex roars in agony as the arrow has found its mark. The dinosaur then notices that Nugent has strung another arrow in his bow. Before Nugent is able to fire, the T. Rex chases the guitarist.
Nugent (while running away, is heard to scream, in his best Motor-City Madman howl): Fred Bear!!! Why have you forsaken me!!!!!
The T. Rex is about to engulf Nugent within its salivating maw when it is struck by the Captain Planet crew. Kwame uses his power to shift the earth and Linka uses her power of the wind to cause the T. Rex to stumble. Unfortunately when the T. Rex stumbles, Wheeler is too close and is crushed as the dinosaur lands on the ground. Captain Planet uses his superhuman strength and stamina to pummel the T. Rex, while Suchi flings its’ feces at the dinosaur. While Captain Planet is killing the dinosaur (and the monkey is flinging its pooh), Ma-Ti telepathically communicates with the T. Rex to assuage its’ feelings of imminent death. Gi is about to give her speech about the protection of all animals (including this T. Rex) when she looks down to see Jool Nooret’s blade slice her in half. The Sword Master then dispatches Ma-Ti and Suchi.
Ted Nugent rushes to the scene to help the Planeteers. Before Nugent is able to reach the battle, the Ginaz Swordmaster manages to kill Kwame and Linka too. Captain Planet, having defeated T. Rex #16 and having seen his fellow Planeteers killed by Nooret, combines forces with Nugent. Nugent’s pinpoint accuracy with his bow and Captain Planet’s overall abilities combine to overpower and destroy Nooret.
Having seen Nugent in battle-action, Ewoks #5 (still out-of-his-mind) and #6-11 cheer their teammate on. Before the celebration becomes too unruly, Silver Surfer cruises on his surfboard to the scene. The Surfer uses his cosmic powers to destroy both the remaining Planeteer and guitar legend.
Just as the Surfer is about to kill the Ewoks and travel back to his locker room, he hears the slurred shouting of Ewok #5. The other Ewoks jump to various parts of the forest and spring their trap. The Surfer is met by various log-type weapon machinations. The logs manage to smash the Surfer off his board. The Silver Surfer falls to the ground. The Ewoks pounce on the herald and begin to stab him with the spears they have newly attained. As the Surfer is about to succumb to this most embarrassing death, the board travels back to the Surfer. The Surfer shakes the haze out of his head and kills Ewoks #6-11 with a cosmic blast. Ewok #5 (having recognized his failure of completing team-induced rehab) gives the middle-finger salute to the Surfer. The last defiant action of Ewok #5 does not go unnoticed. The Surfer ponders the event, shakes his finger and points to the Endor-native. Ewok #5 is engulfed in flames from the power cosmic and dies.
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: All dead.
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer survives.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Built (Bill) Ford Tough vs. Alice's Wonder Team
"I don't remember the name—something with too many 'Ks and 'Ys. Sounds like you're gargling ronto spit when you say it."
―Mira [src]
I look at the teams to do battle on Kashyyk during this pre-season match. They are as follows:
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: Arachnids #1-4 (Starship Troopers), Chewbacca, Dave Thomas, Christopher Robin and Scout Trooper #1 on a speeder bike.
Alice’s Wonder Team: Q and Vampire #4.
Q has somehow shifted time so that I am witnessing the end of the match. The god-like entity wears a scowl on his face. It appears that he is contemplating a question recently posed to him by the white-haired human standing in defiance of the cosmic watcher. The purple hat adorned by Q is slightly askew, matching the crease on the tilt of his brow. Q is analyzing the cherubic gentleman in front of him. Q lifts his hand to his chin and asks a simple question: “So Mr. Thomas, I appear to be stumped by your question -where is the beef?”
Time shifts again to the battle’s beginning. . .
The combatants appear outside the city of Thikkiiana. Christopher Robin and Scout Trooper #1 race on a speeder bike; they are looking for prey. The two speeder bike companions locate Vampire #4. The speeder bike races toward Vampire #4. The two mean to skewer the undead minion on the bike’s front. Just as Vampire #4 is about to be struck, he utilizes his uncanny speed to avoid the impalement and escapes. Christopher Robin is shocked at Vampire #4’s abilities and clutches onto Scout Trooper #1- a little too tight. Due to Christopher’s antics, the Trooper loses control of the bike and crashes into a tree stump. The Vampire swoops upon the easy fare, Christopher Robin.
Vampire #4 (whispers in a terrified Christopher’s ear): Let’s see Pooh get you out of this one, boy!
Robin relieves himself (no Pooh reference meant) at the bite of Vampire #4. Christopher Robin has been turned. Christopher then assists Vampire #4 with attacking Scout Trooper #1. Within a few minutes, Scout Trooper’s helmet is off and his fangs are out. Vampire #4, Vampire Christopher Robin and Vampire Scout Trooper #1 have their sights on the Kashyyk native, Chewbacca. Chewbacca is familiar with the forest surrounding the tree city and manages to escape the vampires. The wookiee races up the tree to Thikkiiana’s heights. The vampires give chase. On his way up, Chewbacca rips a branch from the tree and luckily manages to have one end be jagged-a perfect stake. Chewbacca sees the vampires gaining ground and slows down enough so that Christopher catches him. Chewbacca fully realizes that this being is no longer a teammate, but an enemy that must be destroyed. He lets Robin overtake him, turns and sinks the jaggedly, sharp branch into the heart of Vampire Christopher Robin. Robin looks down at the tree sticking out of his chest and explodes into a cloud of dust. Chewbacca rushes up the tree and jumps on to the city’s platform. Vampires #4 and Scout Trooper #1 are not far behind. Just as Vampire #4 and Scout Trooper #1 make their move at Chewbacca, the Starship Trooper Arachnids #1-4 scuttle out from behind the city’s residences. The Arachnids’ sharp, front appendages rip the vampires apart. Vampires #4 and Scout Trooper #1 burst into dust clouds.
Q comes upon the scene. He is dressed in purple colored regal clothing, walking toward the wookiee and arachnids with a smile on his face. Chewbacca knows that he will not get a second chance at the omnipotent being. Chewbacca unleashes a battle cry and repeatedly unloads his bowcaster (which he has taken off his shoulder) into Q. The Arachnids follow suit and attack together in a swarm of pincers, arms and legs. Chewbacca’s roar is heard as Q falls to his knees. Chewbacca moves to Q’s head and fires. The arachnids and Chewbacca celebrate their victory. Unfortunately, it is somewhat short lived. Q stops his death and goes back in time to only moments before his “death.” Before he loses the fight, this time, he uses his powers to destroy Chewbacca and the Arachnids.
Q walks through the city – victorious, until he sees the founder of Wendy’s standing before him. Being that Q has taken an extreme interest in human beings, he stops to look at Dave Thomas. Thomas, who knows that he is overwhelmed, uses his aww-shucks intelligence to battle Q. The two decide that if Thomas stumps Q, Q will destroy himself and allow Built (Bill) Ford tough to win this pre-season match. Thomas stares at Q.
Thomas: Where’s the Beef?
Q ponders the question. He does not know where the beef is. How can he be bested by such a simpleton!?!
Q: So Mr. Thomas, I appear to be stumped by your question -where is the beef?
Before Thomas can answer the question and win the match, a little girl’s voice is heard from behind. A young, red-headed, freckled girl walks toward Thomas.
Wendy (hugging): Daddy! I love you!!!
Thomas is overwhelmed with love and affection for his “little girl.” Although in his head he realizes that his girl is now grown, his heart is overjoyed at the sight of a young Wendy. Thomas has suffered so much guilt over the years for having to miss Wendy growing up due to the fact that he had to perfect the square burger during his life.
Q: I have given you another chance, Mr. Thomas. Do not waste any time.
Thomas forgets his question posed and looks to the little girl. Wendy rushes to the hut and pulls out two parachutes.
Wendy: Daddy, let’s fly together!
Dave Thomas puts on the parachute and helps his daughter with her device. They stroll toward the edge of the city’s tree platform. Thomas looks back at Q.
Thomas (smiling, with tears in his eyes): Thank you. Thank you for everything!
Q: No, Mr. Thomas. Thank you.
Thomas jumps off the platform. During their trip off of the platform, Thomas notices that Wendy is dissipating, like the phantom she truly was. Thomas has been duped by Q, who has warped reality to reflect Thomas’ wishes. Thomas hits the forest floor with a rather large thud. Q looks down at Thomas’ broken body lying at the bottom of the tree city and smiles.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: All dead.
Alice’s Wonder Team: Q survives.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!
―Mira [src]
I look at the teams to do battle on Kashyyk during this pre-season match. They are as follows:
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: Arachnids #1-4 (Starship Troopers), Chewbacca, Dave Thomas, Christopher Robin and Scout Trooper #1 on a speeder bike.
Alice’s Wonder Team: Q and Vampire #4.
Q has somehow shifted time so that I am witnessing the end of the match. The god-like entity wears a scowl on his face. It appears that he is contemplating a question recently posed to him by the white-haired human standing in defiance of the cosmic watcher. The purple hat adorned by Q is slightly askew, matching the crease on the tilt of his brow. Q is analyzing the cherubic gentleman in front of him. Q lifts his hand to his chin and asks a simple question: “So Mr. Thomas, I appear to be stumped by your question -where is the beef?”
Time shifts again to the battle’s beginning. . .
The combatants appear outside the city of Thikkiiana. Christopher Robin and Scout Trooper #1 race on a speeder bike; they are looking for prey. The two speeder bike companions locate Vampire #4. The speeder bike races toward Vampire #4. The two mean to skewer the undead minion on the bike’s front. Just as Vampire #4 is about to be struck, he utilizes his uncanny speed to avoid the impalement and escapes. Christopher Robin is shocked at Vampire #4’s abilities and clutches onto Scout Trooper #1- a little too tight. Due to Christopher’s antics, the Trooper loses control of the bike and crashes into a tree stump. The Vampire swoops upon the easy fare, Christopher Robin.
Vampire #4 (whispers in a terrified Christopher’s ear): Let’s see Pooh get you out of this one, boy!
Robin relieves himself (no Pooh reference meant) at the bite of Vampire #4. Christopher Robin has been turned. Christopher then assists Vampire #4 with attacking Scout Trooper #1. Within a few minutes, Scout Trooper’s helmet is off and his fangs are out. Vampire #4, Vampire Christopher Robin and Vampire Scout Trooper #1 have their sights on the Kashyyk native, Chewbacca. Chewbacca is familiar with the forest surrounding the tree city and manages to escape the vampires. The wookiee races up the tree to Thikkiiana’s heights. The vampires give chase. On his way up, Chewbacca rips a branch from the tree and luckily manages to have one end be jagged-a perfect stake. Chewbacca sees the vampires gaining ground and slows down enough so that Christopher catches him. Chewbacca fully realizes that this being is no longer a teammate, but an enemy that must be destroyed. He lets Robin overtake him, turns and sinks the jaggedly, sharp branch into the heart of Vampire Christopher Robin. Robin looks down at the tree sticking out of his chest and explodes into a cloud of dust. Chewbacca rushes up the tree and jumps on to the city’s platform. Vampires #4 and Scout Trooper #1 are not far behind. Just as Vampire #4 and Scout Trooper #1 make their move at Chewbacca, the Starship Trooper Arachnids #1-4 scuttle out from behind the city’s residences. The Arachnids’ sharp, front appendages rip the vampires apart. Vampires #4 and Scout Trooper #1 burst into dust clouds.
Q comes upon the scene. He is dressed in purple colored regal clothing, walking toward the wookiee and arachnids with a smile on his face. Chewbacca knows that he will not get a second chance at the omnipotent being. Chewbacca unleashes a battle cry and repeatedly unloads his bowcaster (which he has taken off his shoulder) into Q. The Arachnids follow suit and attack together in a swarm of pincers, arms and legs. Chewbacca’s roar is heard as Q falls to his knees. Chewbacca moves to Q’s head and fires. The arachnids and Chewbacca celebrate their victory. Unfortunately, it is somewhat short lived. Q stops his death and goes back in time to only moments before his “death.” Before he loses the fight, this time, he uses his powers to destroy Chewbacca and the Arachnids.
Q walks through the city – victorious, until he sees the founder of Wendy’s standing before him. Being that Q has taken an extreme interest in human beings, he stops to look at Dave Thomas. Thomas, who knows that he is overwhelmed, uses his aww-shucks intelligence to battle Q. The two decide that if Thomas stumps Q, Q will destroy himself and allow Built (Bill) Ford tough to win this pre-season match. Thomas stares at Q.
Thomas: Where’s the Beef?
Q ponders the question. He does not know where the beef is. How can he be bested by such a simpleton!?!
Q: So Mr. Thomas, I appear to be stumped by your question -where is the beef?
Before Thomas can answer the question and win the match, a little girl’s voice is heard from behind. A young, red-headed, freckled girl walks toward Thomas.
Wendy (hugging): Daddy! I love you!!!
Thomas is overwhelmed with love and affection for his “little girl.” Although in his head he realizes that his girl is now grown, his heart is overjoyed at the sight of a young Wendy. Thomas has suffered so much guilt over the years for having to miss Wendy growing up due to the fact that he had to perfect the square burger during his life.
Q: I have given you another chance, Mr. Thomas. Do not waste any time.
Thomas forgets his question posed and looks to the little girl. Wendy rushes to the hut and pulls out two parachutes.
Wendy: Daddy, let’s fly together!
Dave Thomas puts on the parachute and helps his daughter with her device. They stroll toward the edge of the city’s tree platform. Thomas looks back at Q.
Thomas (smiling, with tears in his eyes): Thank you. Thank you for everything!
Q: No, Mr. Thomas. Thank you.
Thomas jumps off the platform. During their trip off of the platform, Thomas notices that Wendy is dissipating, like the phantom she truly was. Thomas has been duped by Q, who has warped reality to reflect Thomas’ wishes. Thomas hits the forest floor with a rather large thud. Q looks down at Thomas’ broken body lying at the bottom of the tree city and smiles.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: All dead.
Alice’s Wonder Team: Q survives.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
