Week 2 Consortium: Darkseid's Horseman Of Apokolypse vs The League of Heterosexual Gentlemen

Darkseid's Horseman Of Apokolypse: Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy, Nazgul #3 on Fell Beast, Samwise Gamgee w/ Bill the Pony, and Black Widow Assassin #1 on a motorcycle.

League of Heterosexual Gentlemen: Galadriel, Nazgul #5 w/ Fell Beast and Mordor Horse, Boromir, Orc #1-18, Superman, and Sabertooth.

Week 2 Democracy: TEAM vs David Byrne's Meat Suits

TEAM: Thanos and Maw, Thor, Old Man Parks, The Mandalorian, Grogu, Milton William Cooper, Myrmidon #4 & 5, The Shining Force: Max, Zylo, Amon, Balbaroy, Earnest, Pelle, Vankar, Mae, Diane, Hans, Lyle, Khris, Ken, and Nova

David Byrne's Meat Suits: Galactus and David Byrne, Firelord Ozai, Firelord Zuko and his Dragon, Deathstroke, and Easterling #1-10

Week 2 Watcher Consortium: NAZA vs. Washington Redskins

NAZA: JRR Tolkien, Balrog of Moria, Vegeta, Alucard, The Fantastic Four, Ash Ketchum, Regigigas, Dialga, Palkia, Giratina, Reyquaza, & Velociraptors #1-5.

Washington Redskins: Wolverine, X-23, Usagi Yojimbo & Jotaro, Asajj Ventress, Mother Talzin, Mandalore the Great w/ The Dark Saber, Storn Shadow w/ a Laser Sword, & Black Dragon #10

NAZA are VICTORIOUS!!!!!

The survivors are Mr. Fantastic and JRR Tolkien.

Reboot Week 1: Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips vs. Washington Redskins

 The Horsemen are: Wendy Thomas, Red Hood, Arsenal, Starfire, Samwise Gamgee, Bill the Pony, and Stan Lee.

Mandalore the Great with The Dark Saber, Skeletor, Teddy Roosevelt in a hammer bros suit, and Black Lantern #2

It was Monday evening and Wendy's was the pulse of nightlife. The Washington Redskins burst in led by Mandalore, looking cocky and confident. Mandalore looked around for the enemy, only to see their silhouettes beyond the frosted glass of the dedicated breakfast conference room. But how? Only the highest of executive can even dream of a reservation! The Redskins battered down the door, prepared to defend the sanctity of this meeting place at all costs. A sweet, cold voice bounced off the glass walls: "Please, have a seat anywhere."

Wendy, holding a tray of fresh fries, stepped out from behind the counter and stepped purposefully to the conference room. "You don't belong here," she said calmly. "This is Wendy's territory." Mandalore scoffed. "Your territory? This is just a fast-food joint." Wendy narrowed her eyes. "It's more than that. It's a symbol of everything we stand for. Quality, freshness, and most importantly, respect. And you, Mandalore, have shown none of that by barging in here uninvited, on this, the day Red Hood and Arsenal's wedding..." Skeletor cracked his bony knuckles, while Teddy Roosevelt adjusted the ever-riding crotch of his hammer bros suit. "We're not leaving until we take down the Horsemen. Commissioner's orders," Mandalore declared. Wendy sighed. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this." She put down the tray of fries and cracked her knuckles. "Let's get frosty."

Wendy led the charge, leaping over tables and chairs, firing off volleys of ketchup and mustard into the eyes of the Redskins. Red Hood and Arsenal dove behind a stack of buns in the corner, firing off rounds from their automatic weapons, taking out the former US president in the formerly fashionable manner. Bill the Pony, with Samwise Gamgee atop his back, galloped across the tiled floor, only to crash quickly into Black Lantern 2 and send all three hurtling through a window. Stan Lee grabbed a plastic knife from the table and held it aloft, crying "EXCELSIOR" before Skeletor grabbed one as well, stabbing him through he eye.

Mandalore would not be bested by condiments, and Skeletor lacked the eyes to do so. They came crashing into the pile of stale buns (fresh by Wendy's standards, as they had not been frozen since being baked 14 months ago) with sword and saber in hand, cutting down Arsenal and Red Hood. From a harness on her back, Wendy produced a french fry blade. Forged in the hottest of oil, it held strong, but her foes were prepared to overwhelm her. She called to the kitchen, far in the depths behind the front counter. "ORDER UP, STAR!" Starfire came bursting from the back of house, utterly disintegrating the remaining Redskins. Wendy wiped blood and ash from her brow, and she turned to Starfire with the winning, hollow smile of a shark. "Well, let's grab a mop. That minimum wage isn't gonna earn itself!"

The Sigmaz Vs. The Underhills

 The Sigmaz are Ronald McDonald w/ Fry Kid #1-3, Grimace, The Hamburglar, Birdie the Early Bird, Mayor McCheese, Officer Big Mac, Captain Crook, & The Professor, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael (all packing Glocks), & Domestic Terrorist #1-5.

The Underhills are Nightcrawler, Ant Man, Wasp, & Jedi Knight Guardian #1-5.

Times are tough here in 2023, even in the mutant crime fighting and Jedi Protector career fields which is why certain members of The Underhills Fantasy Fantasy Club have gotten off season jobs at Wendy's (Thanks Biden).  This course of action is beyond unfit for the elite group of radicals led by King Ronald of McDonaldland and assembled by Emperor Malcom X the Great himself along with his faithful politician puppet President Obama.  The McDonald's Corporation has plotted attacks on their enemy Wendy's for years and today this dream shall come to fruition.  

Wendy......  Born rich after her father, the evil capitalist Dave Thomas grew their family fortune on the backs of the working class Proletariats of the struggling Urban areas.  His daughter.....  With her money, her bright red hair like that of the devils she associates with, her spiteful superiority brimming with her every evil, freckled, fry box smile and worst of all her pale, disgusting skin.  White people......  The true enemy of those born with a soul.  This attack has been long awaited....  And you all shall be witnesses.

King Ronald speaks to his troops saying:  "Leave no one alive.  We shall burn this corporate enemy known as Wendy's to the ground and kill all who inhabit its walls".  

Leonardo retorts:  "As leader of the Ninja Turtles, I must protest.  My brothers and I were not taught to act in this manner Ronald".

"THAT IS KING RONALD TO YOU GREEN ONE". McDonald interrupts.  "We was all Kings once; and one day I will be able to shed this make-up and reveal my beautiful nubian features to the new world we shall usher in.  But until that day, I must continue to wear white face to mock our demon caucasian oppressors.  It is my solemn vow".

Raphael barks:  "Listen Here Dude.  What my brother Leo wuz tryin to say wuz that Master Splinter wouldn't of wanted us being so cruel.  We're trained Ninjas and were supposed to be the good guys".  

Ronald rolls his painted eyes and says with authority:  "You were all at the initial team briefing and you heard the chain of Command.  Emperor Malcom's word is law.  President Obama is in control of the inter-workings of the team and when we are in the field, it is I:  King Ronald who leads.  Now, the plan is simple destroy Wendy's, leave not a single brick unbroken, and kill everyone inside".  

"Dang Broooh, these dudes is off the chain.  I signed up for domestic terrorism, I had no idea dudes was gonna be so legit".  Says Domestic Terrorist #3.

"Totally", Chimes in Domestic Terrorist #2.  "I thought we were just gonna do some cyber attacks from the basement, maybe trash a Discord Server CJ style or something".

"WHOA!!  Cyber attacks, like with an EMP or something??  Do you have one of those"??  Asks Domestic Terrorist #3.

"Yeah Dawg, EMP's are lit.  This is way sicker than I thought it would be.  I thought we were just gonna say some wack s&%t on social media until we got kicked off the platform and had to start new accounts".  Says Domestic Terrorist #4 as he moves his thin blue hair out from in front of his eyes.  

"This is not radical Dude". Michelangelo says under his breath.

"Like yeah Man, what's the opposite of cowabunga"?? replies Donatello.

As the Sigmaz approach and are within range, Leonardo begins getting his Turtle brothers in position.  "Hold here Green one"  Says Ronald.  "In Chess, the pawns always move first".  He then yells his order:  "DOMESTIC TERRORIST #1-5, go in and order yourselves some frostys"........

The Five terrorists walk through the double doors into the packed Wendy's and get in line, while The Professor, with the help of the criminal mastermind Capt. Croook sneak in the back door into the kitchen.  The Professor and the Crook move stealthily through the kitchen to release the toxin that The McDonald's Corporation has spent over ten years and millions of dollars to produce.  Once released, it will meld with the Spicy Chicken Nugget formula and create a deadly toxin that will instantly kill everyone in the building.  As The Professor steps over what is left of Ant Man and The Wasp who were killed before the match began by the larger insects, cockroaches, and rats that reside in the kitchen of Wendy's he releases his formula into the air.  But.....  Nothing happened.  Because Wendy's was out of Spicy Nugs that day like they are EVERY G.D. TIME I GO THERE.  GAHHHHHHH-OLLIE.............

"Hmmmm.  Plan B it is", says Ronald calmly.  "Mayor McCheese, Press. The. Button.".

As ordered, Mayor McCheese, the corrupt politician in the pockets of The Sigmaz Clandestine leadership pulls the detonator out of his trenchcoat pocket and presses the button, setting off the explosives under the coats of the five domestic terrorists inside and blowing the roof clean off of Wendy's killing almost everyone inside.  Jedi Knight Guardian #3 and #5 were working the cash registers and were killed in the blast; but the other three remaining Jedi Guardians run out of the building and move towards the Sigmaz that were not collateral damage in the blast.  Nightcrawler on the other hand "BAMFS" out of the building quickly, and instantly engages the turtles and other Sigmaz in a pitched melee battle.  

Despite their ninjitsu expertise, Nightcrawler takes them by surprise and manages to steal one of Leo's Katanas as well as one of Rahp's Sais.  He wields the katana with his right hand, the sai with his tail, and a half charred, metal french fry basket thing in his left hand that he happened to be holding when he BAMFed out of the exploding restaurant.  The Jedi Guardians are running up the hill to aid their teammember Nightcrawler when the Ninja Turtles remember that they have Glocks now and along with Officer Big Mac divert their attention momentarily from Nightcrawler in an attempt to cook some fools.  But the Jedi Guardians are able to ignite their lightsabers and block the projectiles.  The Jedi Guardians arrive on the scene and swiftly deal a lightsaber through the neck of Officer Big Mac as well as The Hamburglar who was hiding under a tree somehow devouring a Dave's Single.  Nightcrawler sends a katana blade downward into the shell of Donatello to create the first turtle casualty.  He then snatches up Don's Bo Staff with his left hand right after throwing the fry thing directly into the beak of Birdie the Early Bird, who trips over Fry Kid #1 joining each other in death.  

While Nightcrawler keeps the remaining three turtles busy, the Jedi Guardians deal death blows to both Fry Kid #3 and Mayor McCheese.  Guardian #1 moves to aid the outnumbered Nightcrawler, while Guardian #2 attempts to engage Grimace but is swallowed whole.  

Ronald mutters to himself "good thing I became a martial arts expert while I was memorizing every Wesley Snipes movie" as he moves swiftly towards Jedi Guardian #4, dodging his lightsaber, delivering a crescent hand karate chop to the Jedi's throat and then shoving a plastic pancake knife into his eye.  

As Michelangelo turns to attack Nightcrawler with his nunchucks, Jedi Guardian #1 runs him through with his lightsaber, but the Turtle is quickly avenged as Raph puts his remaining Sai into the Jedi's neck.  Only Nightcrawler remains for The Underhills but BAMFs away from the two raging Turtles to regroup.  The mutant teleports himself right next to Grimace and quickly slices open the stomach of the gross, purple taste bud or whatever the heck he is supposed to be spilling piles of undigested burgers, fries, and nugs onto the ground.  

"GROSS"!!  Leo and Raph scream in unison as they rush Nightcrawler.  The two Turtles fight together against the master swordsman Nightcrawler; but Raph catches a sword through the dome, right before Leo delivers the killing sword strike to Nightcrawler.  

Leonardo saunters back to Ronald saying:  "What have we done??  My brothers are gone, we are surrounded by death and destruction".....

King Ronald answers:  "If you are to lead Leonardo, you must be willing to make sacrifices".....

Then Fry Kid #2 farted and the match was over.   

FFL 2023 Week 1: Trash Pandas vs. TEAM

Scarlett Johansson and Bill Cosby’s Skin Tight Leather Pantsed Trash Pandas: Gandalf the White & Maximus Decimus Meridius.

TEAM: Thanos, Ebony Maw, Chris Artrip, Kyle Houslander & Myrmidon #1-3.

We start this match with Kyle and Chris riding on their way to their weekly softball game and they see a Wendys and decide to stop in to get some 4 for 4$s (4 for $4 goes hard btw). They walk through the front door and they see Gandalf and Thanos boxing in the lobby. Kyle looks at Chris and says “Golly, looks this Wendy’s is really busy, don’t think we’ll be able to get our 4 for $4s in time, maybe we should just skip out and go to the softball field.” Chris agrees and they decide to leave Wendy's.

We can now proceed on to the actual match in the Wendy’s. 

We start with Maximus facing off against the three Myrmidons. The Myrmidons themselves are great warriors but they stand no chance against the Great Gladiator himself, Maximus Decimus Meridius. He starts off by parrying a sword attack from the first Myrmidon and stabbing the Greek Warrior in the chest. The two other Myrmidons surround Maximus, one on his left and one on his right.They both attack with sword strikes but the General blocks both using his sword and shield. Maximus then strikes the Myrmidon on his right, on the thigh and then shield bashes the warrior on his left in the head. Maximus then cuts off the head of the Myrmidon who was dazed by the shield bash and then turns around and stabs the chest of the other Myrmidon.

As the fight between Maximus and the Myrmidons was happening, Gandalf the White was battling with Thanos and Ebony Maw. At first Thanos almost seems offended that an old man with a long white beard and a walking staff is deciding to take on him and his adopted son Ebony Maw by himself. Thanos decides to have Maw take on Gandalf by himself as he thinks it should be no problem. Maw starts by ripping pieces of the ceiling and the roof of the Wendys using his telekinesis powers so much so that there is no roof left to cover the lobby of the Wendy’s and launches them at Gandlaf. Gandalf uses his Shield of the Istari power to block every piece of rubble that Ebony Maw throws at him and then throws a mean combo where he calls a lightning strike from the skies onto the Child of Thanos and then hits him with a fire blast from his staff, killing Maw. 

Thanos is surprised at how quickly and easily the White Wizard was able to dice up his child, he charges at Gandalf and starts to throw a flurry of punches at the wise Maiar. Gandalf is able to block and dodge all of the punches up until the end when Thanos catches Gandalf with a right hook that knocks him to the ground and causes his nose to start bleeding. Thanos goes to attack Gandalf who is on the ground but as he is about to strike Gandalf he is stabbed in the calf by Maximus but the sword doesn’t hurt the Titan. Thanos, more angered than hurt, backhands Maximus across the lobby into a wall. This gives Gandalf enough time to get back on his feet and uses his staff to call the Flame of Udun and slams the bottom of his staff on the ground which causes Thanos to fly back and through the Wendy’s windows into the parking lot. As Thanos is recovering from being thrown across the property of this fast food joint, Gandalf thinks to himself Maximus’ sword did not hurt Thanos. He then calls for a lightning strike onto his sword Glamdring. Thanos sprints towards Gandalf and goes to spear the Wizard but he is blocked as Gandalf calls for his Shield of the Istari at just the perfect second. Gandlaf then quickly counters with a couple sword strikes on Thanos and they are actually doing damage to the great Thanos. Thanos, visibly weakened, is able to grab Gandalf by the throat and begins to start choking him out, Gandalf retaliates with some sword slashes but Thanos grip on his neck is too strong and chokes Gandalf to his death. Thanos after a few breaths says “Old man, robed in white. I have to admit at first I doubted you and it almost caused me to fail in my mission and I respect you for how brave you were in your fight.It nearly killed me, but the work is done, I am The Emperor of this Fantasy Fantasy League, I am inevitable.”

Thanos is on one knee gathering his breath, when he is stabbed from the back through his chest by Glamdring. Maximus then walks to the front of Thanos and Thanos asks “Who are you?” Maximus responds with “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor of this League, Gandalf the White. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”