George Washington’s slaves Vs The Transfoamers

George Washington’s slaves are…
Captain Crunch with his little boat, Tony the Tiger, Spongebob Squarepants, Air Bud, Fidel Castro,Sgt. Slaughter , Frank Martin in a Swift Boat (The Transporter), Bebop & Rocksteady in a hovercraft, and Starship Trooper #1-18

The Transfoamers are…
Autobot #1-5, Transformers #1-10, Ghosts #1-7, Starscream's Ghost, and Auric Goldfinger



Before I start the match I would like to give all of you some back story on Ghosts # 1-7, Because its just doesn’t feel right that they are nameless. I mean come on they were once people you know. Their names were Dan, Luke, Steve, Pete, Demario, Mike, and Doug. Dan was a software engineer from Riverside CA, He liked to party and do coke on the weekends. Who doesn’t right? But one fateful night him and a group of his friends decided to go down to Tijuana to see to the legendary donkey show. Long story short this dude had sex with the girl that had sex with the donkey, and got a rather nasty form of AIDS and died.
Luke was a junkie who lived in Seattle. The day Luke died he and his buddy cooked up two shots of rather good heroin. About 3 hours later Luke awoke to see that his friend was dead, in a panic he dragged his friend outside and began digging a hole underneath the porch. (Yes, it is a fact that when a junkie dies you burry them under the porch). Suddenly his friend woke up and fearing for his life strangled Luke with the very tube he used to tie off with. Steve and Pete both Broke their own necks try to suck their own d**k’s. Oddly enough both men’s families claim they were killed changing tires. Demario accidentally stepped on another mans Jordan’s in long beach. He was Shot 12 times. Mike is the oldest of the 7 he was born in 1828 and fought in the Mexican-American war. It was during the war that he died. He had slept with another mans wife, and was run over repeatedly by the husband on his trusty Sow. Finally we have Doug and all that is know about Doug is that he died of dehydration and exposure atop Cesar’s palace, Doug also had 80 thousand dollars in Bellagio chips on his person.

Okay now that we know who we are dealing with we can get on with the match.

The Transfoamers are the first to be dropped into the Indian ocean. Auric Goldfinger is having trouble staying afloat. He is using all his energy splashing about just trying to stay alive, and the slaves haven’t even hit the water yet. All the commotion attracts attention. A large killer whale burst up right underneath Goldfinger and begins chomping him to bits, then because the large mammal ate so fast he pukes Auric back up and swims away. It was a sight to see.

Starscream’s Ghost: Well now that we have gotten ride of the dead weight , I PROCLAIM MYSELF NEW TEAM LEADER!

Autobot#1: F**k you Starscream, I am an Autobot for life!

Transformer#1: Well actually it says in the official Transformer handbook that, if any current or former Officer in either the Autobot’s or Decpticons , Proclaims him or herself leader, and there is no worthy objector, then he or she is leader.

Autobot#1: WHO THE F**K ASKED YOU?

Just then Starscream’s Ghost takes control of Autobot#1’s body.

Starscream’s Ghost inside Autobot#1: Well seeing as we have no more objections here’s the plan.

They’ve started to whisper so lets go see what’s going on with the Slave’s.

We find them on their way to the ocean inside the FFL transport. Sgt. Slaughter and Fidel Castro are engaged in a fist fight. Castro hit’s the Sgt with a low blow then charges for another attack, Slaughter responds with a Big Boat to the face. The to separate for a quick breather.
Sgt. Slaughter: YOU FILTHY LITTLE WORM! WHAT KINDA OF A MAN SETS HIS OWN TEAM ON FIRE!?! LAST TIME I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE IMORTAL SLIM BUT NOW I SEE YOU’RE THE ULTIMATE PUKE IAM GONNA…
BANG, BANG, BANG

The Castro had become impatient and board with the Sgt.’s rant, so he shot him three times in the chest. He cocky Cuban busied both hands with a cigar and matches, SUDDENLY Sgt Slaughter sprung back to his feet for one last stand. The Sgt. Tackled Castro applied the camel clutch and broke the Latino in two before dropping dead himself.

The transport finally reaches its designated drop off point. The Slaves Land right next to a staging area similar to the one they set up in world 2-2 but there are 6 hovercraft and 6 swift boats.

Starship Trooper # 1 High fives #2 . The slaves are just about to get into their water craft when they hear the oh so familiar sound transformers make when they transform. The Transfoamers all make themselves know and quickly decimate the Slave’s. Frank Martin Is crushed to death when Transformer #3 transforms with him inside. The starship troopers, who are all standing in a single file line waiting to board the boats are all killed when transformer #7 claps his hands together with them all in the path. Bebop and Rcoksteady are used as projectiles to sink cap’n crunch’s fleeing ship. Captain Crunch , Tony the Tiger, Spongebob Squarepants, and Air Bud are all held under water by the 7 ghosts until they drowned. It took 7 of them cause the were kinda s**ty people in life so they are very weak ghosts.


THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!

George Washington’s Slaves: ALL DEAD

The Transfoamers all survive except Auric Goldfinger.

Season 4, Week 4 Match: The Syracuse Valley vs. Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

“I think we’ve all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.”

-Jack Sparrow

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 4 Match located in the Indian Ocean. They are as follows:

The Syracuse Valley-Venus Demilo, Xenomorph Aliens #97-100, Godzooky, Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage, Decepticon #1, Decepticon Decoy #1, Go-Bot #1, Navy Sailors #61-66, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Head Banger and Major Disaster, Cosmic Spider-Man, Gremlins #1 and 2, Sub-Zero, Rayne, Eggplant Wizard and Teddy Boy.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family-
Capt. Nathan Bridger, Lucas Wolenczak, Dr. Westphalen, Commander John Ford, Lt. Benjamin Krieg, Chief Manilow Crocker, Tim O'Neil, Lt. James Brady, Dagwood and Anthony Piccolo in The Seaquest DSV 4600, Sea Worms #7 and 8, Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring), Black Lantern Hydro-Man, Jack Sparrow, Xenomorph Alien #51, Darwin, Patrick Star, Mr. Eugene Crabs, Black Lantern Kilowog, Wario, The Superman Emergency Squad: Don-El, Van-Zee, Vitar and Superman Emergency Squad #1-5, N.S.-5 #35 and Smurfette.

Let the battle begin. . .

Under the water. . .

Darwin the Dolphin swims to the Seaquest vessel. He looks for the special hatch which allows him to freely enter into the ship. As Darwin swims to the special bay, he is met by Navy Sailors #61-66. The Sailors took advantage of the opening and arrived before Darwin was able to enter and more importantly, before the dolphin is able to voice a warning to his crewmates.

Darwin: Oh no! This is like “The Cove” all over again.

Navy Sailors #61-66 unload their weapons into the dolphin. The bloodied remains of the creature are sprayed across the causeway. Navy Sailors #61-66 then race toward the hallways of the ship. Meanwhile, Xenomoph Aliens #97-100 have entered into the bay. The Aliens scan the foyer and locate the ducts. As the Sailors rush through the Seaquest, they seek and destroy Dr. Westphalen, Tim O’Neil and Lt. Benjamin Krieg. The valiant Seaquest crew manages to kill Navy Sailors #61, 63 and 64 before their own deaths. The remaining Sailors #62, 65 and 66 are killed by the combined firepower of Commander John Ford, Lt. James Brady, Chief Manilow Crocker, Dagwood and Anthony Piccolo. As the remaining Seaquest crew members head toward the bridge, Xenomorph Aliens #97-100 burst from the ducts. The Aliens rip apart Commander John Ford, Chief Manilow Crocker, Lt. James Brady, Dagwood and Anthony Piccolo, but Xenomorphs #97 and 100 die in the melee. Xenomorphs #98 and 99 locate Captain Nathan Bridger and Lucas Wolenczak on the bridge. Xenomorph #98 spews its acid at Wolenczak and burns the young man’s leg. Wolenczak screams and Bridger rushes to his side. The two attempt to escape and trip. The Xenomorphs are upon them. Bridger takes out a grenade and pulls the pin. Bridger looks longingly at Wolenczak.

Wolenczak: I know. . . .

The grenade’s explosion takes out Bridger, Wolenczak and Xenomorphs #98 and 99. The glass on the bridge cracks at the concussion and water begins to flood the submarine. As the Seaquest begins to falter, Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage, Decepticon #1, Decepticon Decoy #1 and Go-Bot #1 swarm the submarine. The robotic force slowly rips apart the submarine. The submarine’s destruction is too much and eventually it implodes. Unfortunately for the Valleyites, Decepticon #1, Decepticon Decoy #1 and Go-Bot #1 are destroyed in the impact of the implosion.

On the water. . .

Sub-Zero uses his powers to create a frozen flotilla for his team to gather on. Venus Demilo, Gremlins #1 and 2, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Head Banger and Major Disaster, Rayne, Eggplant Wizard and Teddy Boy join the Mortal Kombateer. The flotilla is boarded by members of the Kitties- Jack Sparrow, Xenomorph Alien #51, Patrick Star, Mr. Eugene Crabs, Wario, N.S.-5 #35 and Smurfette. Sparrow steps in front of his teammates.

Rayne: Woof. Now there is a distinctive aroma. Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: Captain... Captain Jack Sparrow

Rayne immediately unleashes her sword and a pitched battle between Sparrow and Rayne ensues. Meanwhile, Teddy Boy uses his gun and shoots Xenomorph Alien #51. The Alien shrugs off the shot and rips Teddy Boy apart.

Wario: No dice, Teddy Boy!

Wario is attacked by the Eggplant Wizard. Wario attempts to leap out of the way of the Eggplant Wizard’s blasts, but his shoes are transformed into eggplants. Wario slips on the ice and skids into Gremlins #1 and 2, who are knocked into the water. From the water explodes an army of Gremlins. The Gremlins, including their leaders #1 and #2, storm onto the ice. They overtake Patrick Star and Eugene Crabs. The Spongebob Squarepants allies do not stand a chance and are ripped apart. Gremlin #1 pushes the pieces of Eugene Crabs in its mouth.

Gremlin #1: Yaauuucckk! Treif!

Above the water. . .

Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring) and Black Lantern Kilowog face off against Cosmic Spiderman. Ramona Flowers and Black Lantern Kilowog combine their lantern powers and repeatedly shoot constructs at Cosmic Spiderman. The enhanced senses of Cosmic Spiderman allow him to easily avoid all projectiles. Cosmic Spiderman then uses his ability to manipulate energy and blasts the two. They are ripped apart and both Ramona Flowers and Black Lantern Kilowog are no more.

On the water. . .

Wario jumps back on the flotilla and the waters cause Jack Sparrow to accidentally slip on the ice. The pirate miraculously manages to slice through the legs of Rayne. Rayne screams in pain and frustration at the fact that she was bested by a mascara-eyed pirate. Rayne is not able to gain her footing as Alien Xenomorph #51 jumps on her and rips her head off. The Toxic Avenger stares at the Xenomorph.

Toxic Avenger: No ticky! No washy!

The Toxic Crusaders come to the aid of the Toxic Avenger, hearing his battle cry. They surround and eventually overcome Xenomorph Alien #51. Smurfette is ripped apart by the Gremlins while the NS-5 #35 faces against the Eggplant Wizard and snaps his neck. As the next round is about to commence on the immense, icicled flotilla, a gaping maw is seen below as Sea Worm #7 reaches the site. In one fell swoop, Sea Worm #7 engulfs Venus Demilo, all Gremlins (including #1 and #2), Sub-Zero, Wario, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Head Banger and Major Disaster, Jack Sparrow and N.S.-5 #35. Jack Sparrow can be heard while rolling down Seaworm #7’s gullet, musing about how he escaped the Kraken once before. The creature moves back below the surface.

Above the water. . .

Cosmic Spiderman decides on a desperate act. He knows that the Kryptonian Kitties are probably more than a match for his remaining team. Thus, he uses all of his cosmic powers to rip into the atmosphere and change the sun’s disposition, which, in turn, will affect the powers of the Superman Emergency Squad. Cosmic Spiderman falls to the waters below and lies unconscious at the energy spent to conduct such an act. Fortunately for his teammates, his act will be worth the power expenditure since the Kryptonians will not be able to imbibe the powers through the Sun anymore.

Under the water. . .

Seaworm #7 begins to writhe in agony. An immense frozen area is displayed on the Seaworm’s body. Pieces of the iced monster break off and eventually the behemoth is ripped apart. Bursting forth from the mortally wounded Seaworm #7 is Sub-Zero and Jack Sparrow. The two combatants rise to the surface. They see Cosmic Spiderman rise from the water to the air above.

Seaworm #8 notices its dead brethren sinking to the bottom of the ocean. As it is about to rise and swallow the miniscule Sub-Zero and Jack Sparrow, it is hit, full force, by the entire remaining Transformers- Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill and Movie Ravage. The Transformers chip away at the Seaworm #8, little by little, until the monster dies in the throes of agony.

On the water. . .
In the water. . .

The now weakened Superman Emergency Squad #1-5 face off against Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage. The Kryptonians and Transformers pummel one another. At the end of the battle, the entire Superman Emergency Squad #1-5 is killed. In addition, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill and Movie Ravage are destroyed.

Above the water. . .

Godzooky sees the remaining Superman Emergency Squad- Don-El, Van-Zee and Vitar and attempts to breathe fire at the Kryptonians. Although they are weakened due to the atmospheric conditions and lack of strengthening Sun, they are still easily able to kill Godzooky. Cosmic Spiderman comes to the scene and is ready to dispel with the final Superman Squad members. As he is about to enter into battle, he is struck by an immense water projectile caused by Black Lantern Hydro Man. BL Hydro Man pummels Cosmic Spiderman, who is already weakened due to the previous application of his powers. As BL Hydro Man is about to deliver a crushing blow, he freezes in place. Sub-Zero uses his powers to freeze BL Hydro Man. Sub-Zero then swims over to BL Hydro Man and crushes his ring. BL Hydro Man becomes one with the waters around him. Don-El takes revenge and kills Sub-Zero in an instant.

The final melee. . .

Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak and Cosmic Spider-Man face off against Don-El, Van-Zee and Vitar. After the battle finishes, Cosmic Spiderman is the only individual to stand. All others die in the battle, being Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Don-El, Van-Zee and Vitar.

Jack Sparrow is seen swimming in the waters below. Cosmic Spiderman faces the pirate.
Cosmic Spiderman: You look like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Lepew.

Sparrow: We are very much alike you and I, I and you. . . us.

Cosmic Spiderman: We may be alike, but we’re also very different.

Sparrow: How so?

Cosmic Spiderman zaps Sparrow and the pirate is blasted to bits.

Cosmic Spiderman: You’re dead. . .

The Syracuse Valley: Cosmic Spiderman survives.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: All dead.

THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!!!

Season 4, Week 4: The Abomitrons vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends

“Down here all the fish is happy,
As off to the waves they roll;
The fish on the land ain't happy,
They sad 'cause they in the bowl.”
-Sebastian the Crab

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 4 Match located in the Indian Ocean. They are as follows:

The Abomitrons- Father of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Leviathan, Luigi, Odin, Immell #17 (a clone of Sebastian the Crab and Elite Clone Trooper #17), Nomad, Baby Bucky and original Bucky in a Hovercraft, Naboo Soldiers #2-7, Starfire, Horri-Bull and Kreb, Toadette, Phineas, Ferb and Perry (all 3 have 9 deaths) and Sebastian the Crab.

Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends- The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Opee Sea Killers #9 and 10, Xenomorph #53, Plastic Man, Dementor #7, Ultra Magnus, My State Farm Agent, Nightmare (w/ yellow power ring), Eeth Koth, Galadriel, Blue Wizard #2, Fred and George Weasley, Lackki.

Let the battle begin. . .

On the water. . .

Plastic Man immediately forms into a flotation device by stretching his body.

Plastic Man: I’m wet! I need everyone to enter into me right away!!!

My State Farm Agent smiles at the double entendre. He, along with Eeth Koth, Galadriel, Blue Wizard #2 and Lackki board Plastic Man.

Plastic Man: I’ve never had so many at the same time!

Plastic Man pushes himself to carry all of his teammates and uses his feet as propellers to shuttle away into the fray.

Above the water. . .

Meanwhile, in the skies above, Fred and George Weasley fly on their brooms. The two fire-haired twins use their quidditch skills to avoid the blaster fire from Naboo Soldiers #2-7, who are treading water below. Unfortunately, the two Weasleys fail to see the bat and bird creatures flying in front of them. Before the two are able to cast the proper spells, Daughter of Mortis and Son of Mortis annihilate both Fred and George. Their bodies and broken broomsticks fall to the waters below.

On the water. . .

Seeing the Mortis entities destroy the Weasleys causes the Naboo Soldiers to yell in triumph. Their excitement is short lived.

Naboo Soldier #2: Something brushed along my foot!

Naboo Soldier #3: Something brushed along my foot!

Naboo Soldier #4: Something brushed along my foot. . . and it’s still there!!!

Naboo Soldier #4 is pulled under water. The soldiers look around, trying to find a bead on the monsters below. They each turn to see Naboo Soldier #7 join #4’s fate under water. Naboo Soldiers # 2, 3, 5 and 6 repeatedly fire their blasters in the waters below. Dementor #7 arrives at the scene and the entire Naboo squad loses all hope and plummets into despair. Naboo Soldier #6 is ripped underneath the waves. Eventually, one by one, the entire Naboo Soldier troop, being #2-7, are pulled underneath the waters to their graves. Xenomorph #53 and the Creature from the Black Lagoon rise above the water line. It almost looks as if their monstrous faces evidence smiles.

Under the water. . .

The enormous sea monsters battle one another. In a spectacular display of monstrosities, Leviathan battles Opee Sea Killers #9 and 10. The Sea Killers work together and batter the Leviathan. Eventually, Leviathan manages to destroy both Opee Sea Killers #9 and #10. The two behemoth bodies slowly drift to the bottom of the ocean floor. Meanwhile, the Leviathan recuperates from the harm caused by the Naboo monsters.

On the water. . .

Nomad, Baby Bucky and the original Bucky soar in their hovercraft above the waters. They come upon Plastic Man with his comrades, Eeth Koth, Galadriel, Blue Wizard #2 and Lackki.

Blue Wizard #2: You shall not board!!!

The three Abomitrons get ready to leap from their hovercraft onto Plastic Man.

Blue Wizard #2: You shall not board!!!

Plastic Man: They better not! I won’t be able to keep it up and hold you all inside me at the same time!

Baby Bucky springs into action. Blue Wizard #2 is faster. Blasts erupt from Blue Wizard #2’s hands. The burst burns Baby Bucky to a crisp. The young lad’s tattered body fizzles in the water. Meanwhile, Baby Bucky’s teammates fare no better. Nomad is not able to move away from the lightsaber of Eeth Koth, which skewers him in half. Bucky joins his brethren’s fate and is impaled by Galadriel’s sword.

Blue Wizard #2, Eeth Koth and Galadriel commandeer the hovercraft. Galadriel looks back at My State Farm Agent.

Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

With that said, the three warriors speed off in the hovercraft. My State Farm Agent and Lackki remain on Plastic Man.

Above the Water. . .

Starfire and Nightmare are in a pitched battle. Nightmare uses his yellow lantern ring to project constructs at the Tamaranean Titan. She deflects the yellow objects with her starbolts. Although he attempts to, the dimensional demon is unable to enter into the mind of Starfire. Eventually, this weakness is Starfire’s strength. She uses the full power of her starbolts to destroy Nightmare.

On the Water. . .

Plastic Man: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Someone’s ripping apart my rear!!!!!!!

Horri-Bull and Kreb burst through Plastic Man and splash into the waters far beyond the Fiends. My State Farm Agent and Lackki are thrown from his raft-body. Plastic Man is mortally wounded. Near death, he calls for My State Farm Agent. My State Farm Agent uses pieces of Plastic Man as flotation devices and swims toward his teammate.

My State Farm Agent: Like a good neighbor, I’ll be here when you pass.

As silence sets upon My State Farm Agent and Lackki, Toadette, Luigi and Sebastian the Crab attack My State Farm Agent. Sebastian hesitates for a brief second.

Sebastian: Boy what a softshell I’m turning out to be.

My State Farm Agent takes advantage of this hesitation and manages to kill both Sebastian the Crab and Toadette. My State Farm Agent then faces Luigi in the water and kills him. Miraculously, My State Farm Agent’s powers of helping others overcomes him. His eyes begin to mist as he realizes that he has helped so many people with their claims that it is only natural that he can actually help his team.

My State Farm Agent: What Galadriel says is true! I know what I must do. It's just… I'm afraid to do it.

His ponderings are short lived as he is attacked by Phineas and Ferb. The step brothers gouge at My State Farm’s Agent’s eyes and bite him repeatedly. Eventually, My State Farm Agent grabs the two in headlocks and is ready to break their necks. As he is about to twist, Perry strikes his skull with all of his might. The platypus’ tail smashes the agent’s head. My State Farm Agent’s speech begins to slur and he slowly drifts beneath the waters. . . with a smile on his face. . . and drowns.

Meanwhile, the disgusting appearance of Immel #17 causes Lackki to become anxious. Although there is a battle between the two, it is short. Immel #17 kills Lackki.

In the water. . .

The Creature from the Black Lagoon and Xenomorph #53 swim through the water together. They look down to see the gaping maw of the Leviathan, who is fully recovered from his skirmish with the Opee Sea Killers. The Creature and Xenomorph #53 have no chance against the monstrosity and they are swallowed whole in an instant.

On the water. . .

The hovercraft that carries Eeth Koth, Galadriel and Blue Wizard #2 soars along. The craft is devastated as Horri-Bull and Kreb, in a signature move from earlier in the match, rip through the vessel as they did to Plastic Man earlier. As Horri-Bull, in bull form, rises through the hovercraft, the Transformer Headmaster manages to gore both Galadriel and Eeth Koth as it rises through the hovercraft. The Elven royal and Jedi Knight remain on the horns of Horri-Bull and Kreb as they hit the water.

Meanwhile, Blue Wizard #2 was lucky enough to shield himself from the damage using magic. He strikes the water below, but is alive. While his body rises to the surface he is unable to notice Father of Mortis being flown by Daughter of Mortis and Son of Mortis to the wreckage. The three force wielders come to rest on the hovercraft’s paneling. As Blue Wizard #2 reaches the surface he feels the Force pulling him further up. He is unable to lash out against all three entities and is ultimately destroyed by the Mortis trio.

Above the water. . .

Dementor #7 see Immel #17. The creature gives the hybrid the Dementor’s kiss. Immel #17, without a soul, sucks in water as he dives below the waves. With all hope lost, he drowns himself. Dementor #7 then flies toward the melee on the water. It does not reach its goal as it is destroyed by Starfire.

On the water. . .

Ultra Magnus, in robot form, trudges through the waters utilizing all of his energies to remain afloat. He is met by the Abomitron force of the Mortis trio, Odin, Starfire and Horri-Bull and Kreb. Horri-Bull and Kreb strike first and smash into Ultra Magnus. Although damaged, Ultra Magnus unleashes his weaponry on the Decepticon. Horri-Bull and Kreb are destroyed. Against all odds, a battered and beleagured Ultra Magnus manages to destroy and kill the remaining Abomitron force before him. Father of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Starfire and Odin are no more. As the nearly destroyed Ultra Magnus is about to celebrate his victory, the Leviathan, ridden by Phineas, Ferb and Perry, swims up from the depths. The monstrosity engulfs the devastated Transformer. Ultra Magnus is no more.

The Abomitrons: Leviathan, Phineas, Ferb and Perry survive.

Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends: All dead.

THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!

Season 4 Week 4: Built Ford Tough vs The Untouchables

Built Ford Tough is:
Aslan the Lion
-The Beatles: John, Paul, George, & Ringo
-Darkwing Duck
-Dawson, Pacy, & Joey
-Diego & Baby Jaguar (their backpack turns into a boat)
-Firestorm
-Black Lantern Dumbledore
-Fantastic Max, FX, & AB
-Dr. Who
-Piermont "Piney" Winston, Quinn, Clarence "Clay" Morrow, Jury, Seamus Ryan, Jackson "Jax" Teller, Needles, Alexander "Tig" Trager, Kozik, Robert "Baby Elvis" Munson, Happy, "Big Otto" Delaney, Lenny "The Pimp" Janowitz, Juan Carlos "Juice" Ortiz, Filip "Chibs" Telford, Harry "Opie" Winston, & Donut.
-Black Lantern Han Solo & Zombie Chewbacca in Air Wolfe
-Han Solo: Rogue Jedi & Cowboy Curtis in a Snow Speeder
-Zombie Rob Bartlett
-The Energizer Bunny
-Archie the Octo-Spider


The Untouchables Are:
Aang (the last airbender)
Katara (waterbender)
Fathom Five: Bloodtide, Dragonrider, Llyron, Manowar & Sea Leopard
Captain Cold
Zombie Michelangelo
Emperor Han
Soranik Natu
Bodikka
Broadside
Siryn
Kryptonian Army Soldier #4
Navy S.E.A.L. Chief Petty Officer #13
Navy S.E.A.L. #38, 39, 40, 41, 42, & 43


We begin with Firestorm, sitting indian style while his team furiously plans for battle. Strategies are being drawn up by the Sons of Anarchy. The Doctor has been kind enough to invite everyone into the TARDIS (no. You’re a tardis!) The TARDIS is floating safely above the waves while they plan… (nobody knows how it works, don’t worry about it.)

“Alright guys” says Firestorm “I’m gonna head up top and catch some rays.”
The rest of the team is irritated with firestorms lack of focus but a fight needs soldiers and anybody will do.

Soranik Natu silently flies up behind Firestorm who is lounging on top of the TARDIS and, using a green energy scalpel, she pierces the armor of his containment suit.
“Oh god… first Japan, now this, people are never going to trust nuclear energy again!” Firestorm saves his team mates Identity Crisis Style by flying away at top speed before his suit completely fails to contain his power causing a meltdown that would vaporize everyone in the fight.
His escape path lands him directly in the home of Chris Seeney the resulting explosion causes the first Watcher death in league history.
“Well that was a Nasty piece of business.” said Captain Cold.
“Couldn’t be helped Len.” Soranik replied “I detest laziness; I suppose I am my father’s daughter after all.”

“Could we speed this up? “ said Bodikka, who had been tasked with keeping all the non flying or swimming members of the Untouchables out of the water. “I’ve only got so much juice in this thing.
“Let me fix that…” said Captain cold”
Captain cold proceeded to use his ice guns to freeze a 6 foot deep layer of ice across the surface of the Indian Ocean. The Ice spanned from the base of the TARDIS all the way back behind the Untouchables as far as the horizon.
“Nice work!” said Bodikka who gently placed everyone down on the ice.
While they were all preening about the incredible amount of Ice that Captain Cold had produced… the door of the Tardis flew open and the Sons of Anarchy came bursting out on their motorcycles.
Most of the Sons bikes became sleds immediately, flopping over onto their sides and sliding towards the Untouchables at an incredible rate of speed…
The sons (all except Piney because he rides a Trike) dug their boots into the ice letting the bikes slide freely away from them. The bikes (and Piney) went crashing into Zombie Michelangelo (kowabunga dude) and the Navy S.E.A.L.S. who were too slow to react, Killing them all.
Unfortunately for the sons, still laying on the ground and cheering, the Fathom Five chose that moment to burst through the ice and drag them all under.
Kitara seized that moment to bring a giant wall of ice cold water up from the cracks in the ice and fling it towards her opponents. The ice water coated the Airwolf helicopter and captain cold Blasted it with both of his cold guns.

The water re-froze immediately seizing the rotors of the chopper and causing it to spiral madly out of control.

The Helicopter slammed into the ice, killing Aang and Kitara. And causing the chunk of ice that Built Ford Tough was standing on to tilt dizzyingly dumping everyone off their feet...

As they began their slide into the icy waters, the fathom five re-surfaced, waiting for their next victims to slide into their waiting arms. Rather than resign himself to death, the energizer bunny headed up hill. His team mates grabbed on to him and each other as he kept going, and going, and going, up the hill dragging them all to safety and re-leveling the tilting platform.

The slamming of the giant ice platform back to horizontal launched the fathom five high into the air. They landed in a heap, dying on impact and killing Broadside and Captain Cold in the process.

First to recover from their near death experience on the ice is Black Lantern Dumbledore. “Avada Kadavra!” he shouted and a twisted black and green bolt of energy slammed into Soranik Natu ending her life. “Crucio!!” he shouted at the Kryptonian who crumples into a bloody ball at his feet. “Sectum Sempra!” he shouts at Bodikka who’s armored robotic body shrugged off the spell. She flies up to him and snaps his frail neck. Leaving him gurgling and broken on the ice.

Zombie Rob Bartlett somehow managed to sneak up on Siryn while all this was going on, her screams of pain as he bit into her skull burst the eardrums and scrambled the brains of Dawson Pacey and Joey killing them instantly, a slow trickle of blood running from their noses.

Aslan Easily tears Emperor Han to shreds leaving him tattered and bent, the ice now steaming with the blood of the fallen.

His victory roar splits the ice, sending John, Paul, George, and Ringo to a watery grave.

“Who is bigger than Jesus now huh?” says Aslan as the battle comes to a close.


Built Ford Tough is victorious!
The Untouchables are all dead

Aslan the Lion, Darkwing Duck, Diego & Baby Jaguar, Fantastic Max, FX, & AB, Dr. Who, Black Lantern Han Solo & Zombie Chewbacca, Han Solo: Rogue Jedi & Cowboy Curtis, Zombie Rob Bartlett,The Energizer Bunny, and Archie the Octo-Spider Survive

week 4 Better Than All of You vs The Murderflies

Greetings friends, Aquaman here. I know you're expecting to read a rollicking adventure featuring me and my teammates against the Murderflies of Brock Samson, but that's not about to happen.



You see, fair reader. Myself and the rest of my team have decide that we really need to live up to our team name of being "better than all of you". We need to send a message putting all you jabronis on notice that we are not to be trifled with.



So, with me leading the charge, Aqualad, Aquababy, and Topo headed over to the Murderflies home office before they could send a proper squadron to face us in the Indian Ocean, and we slaughtered 42 marines, 7 Jawas, and 12 Ewoks. I called it, "The Time Me and My boys dropped the pimp hand and showed why we are better than you"! It was a glorious adventure!!! OUTRAGEOUS!



So be warned, FFL. Our moniker is not just a funny name. It's a warning. We are, and will be, Better Than All of You.



Until our next outrageous adventure, just like it says on the walls of the Murderflies locker room in the blood of 12 dead Ewoks

BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!!!!!!!

TEAM Vs. Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family.

TEAM is (Justice Legion Alpha) Superman, Michael Demuirgos, Wil-E-Coyote, The Roadrunner, Roy "Mr. Awesome" Shildt, & The Shining Force: Max, Gort, Luke, Tao, Anri, Alef, Domingo, Diane, Hans, Lowe, Torasu, Kris, Gong, Ken, Mae, Arthur, Earnest, Pelle, Guntz, Lyle, Kokichi, Balbaroy, Amon, Bleu, Zylo, Hanzou, Musashi, & Bokken.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are Head Coach Brady Hoke, The Superman Emergency Squad: Don-El, Van-Zee, Vitar, & Superman Emergency Squad #1-5, Dark Supergirl, Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring), Nichol Valdez, Zombie Sonic The Hedgehog, Mother Mae Eye, The Candy Land Crew: Gingerbread People #1-3, Mr. Mint (w/ a blue lightsaber), Gramma Nut, King Kandy, Jolly, Plumpy, Princess Lolly, Queen Frostine, Lord Licorice (w/ a blue lightsaber), & Gloppy the Molasses Monster, & Storm Trooper #49.


Head Coach Brady Hoke, decides to personally lead his team into battle, against one of the most feared franchises in all of Fantasy Fantasy. After a shocking win against The Horsemen last week, Coach Hoke is anxious to come out on top and possibly go 2 and 0 in what is undoubtedly the toughest interleague schedule in all of The FFL. Michael Demuirgos and Superman lead TEAM through the desert sands, while Max keeps the rest of TEAM far enough back, to provide cover for the 2 powerhouses. Dark Supergirl and The Superman Emergency Squad notice early on that these two will by far be their toughest opponents, and waste no time moving in quickly for an attack, as ordered by Coach Hoke. It was thought that Roy Shildt wasn’t going to be able to make it to this match, because of The Kong Off Festivities this weekend in New Jersey; but at the last minute he decided that it was more important to Chumpatize this new N.L. Expansion team instead. Unfortunately for Mr. Awesome, he is met with a lightsaber to the gut from Lord Licorice. “Bill Mitchell sends his regards” says the Candy Land Crewster as he finishes off Mr. Awesome. Storm Trooper #49 hits Guntz (aka Dump) with a well-aimed “stunning attack” to the head, but he is later hit by the valkyrie of Ken (aka Ryan). Mother Mae Eye punches aside a rocket shot by Wil-E-Coyote’s Acme rocket launcher and then finishes him off with a magically-loaded punch to the face (shout out to Pete Sosa). Mother Mae-Eye then runs over to her team’s group of Kryptonians to help them out against the two TEAM Tough Guys. Zombie Sonic the Hedgehog catches up to the Roadrunner and then eats his brain, before he does the same to Alef (aka wilecoyote), Kris (aka Chipmunk), and Domingo (aka Mogie). Coach Hoke pulls no punches, but ends up on the losing end of his fight with Musashi (aka Luigie). Arthur attempts a Blaze spell, on Zombie Sonic, but he ends up slipping in some of Gloppy’s melting molasses goo. He is then hit with a lightsaber attack from Mr. Mint. The Candy Land Crew are all getting a little melty, in the hot Baghdad sun, but matters are made much worse when Tao (aka Carli!!!) casts Blaze 3, and completely melts all but Jolly, who somehow survives this particular attack. Michael Demuirgos uses his God-like powers to easily destroy Mother Mae-Eye, but he is eventually killed when Dark Supergirl pounds him into oblivion. (Justice Legion Alpha) Superman puts up a tremendous fight against The Superman Emergency Squad, but in the end, it is sheer strength in numbers that wins the day. (JLA) Superman manages to take out SES #1, 3, & 4, as well as Van-Zee but is then overwhelmed by the Kryptonian powers of the rest of the squad. Zombie Sonic spin attacks into the air, to take out Kokichi (aka Dr. Ruehl), but he finally meets his end when Zylo (BadHairDay) claws him to death in mid-air. Nichol Valdez and Ramona Flowers attack Balbaroy (aka Tweetie)and his bird-wife Amon (aka E.T.) and manage to ground them both. Ramona then uses the power of her Star Sapphire to inject Love energy into Gong (aka Nick) and Ken (aka LittleJohn) until they both explode. Nichol and Ramona are then taken out when Anri (aka April) casts Freeze Level 4 and Hanzou (aka Mac Dad) casts Desoul. The TEAM version of The Shining Force has gained the Upper hand over the Orange Kitties (so they think). Until the left over SES Members and Dark Supergirl show up to lend a hand. Dark Supergirl, takes a little to much enjoyment, in the destruction of Bokken, Gort (aka Thor), Lowe (aka Wimp), Torasu (aka Yoda), Bleu (aka Bear), & Diane (aka Robin hood). Don-El squares off against Max (aka Josh) and manages to deflect the power and melee strength of The Chaos Breaker. Don-El then uses his heat vision to take out the Shining Force leader (for the sake of this match the rest of the team is not going to just disappear like they do in the video game). Vitar gets scratched by Zylo but fights through the pain and breaks the where-warrior’s neck. SES #2 takes out Hanzou, while SES #5 kills Musashi, but The Shining Force regroups and protects there magic users. Every member of TEAM, is well aware of the weaknesses of a Kryptonian, which is why they rally around there magic-users and give them a line of protection. Tao, Anri, Luke (using the Atlas (blaze)), Mae (using the halberd (bolt)), & Pelle (using the Devil Lance) exhaust TEAM‘s magical powers with this last offensive. SES #2 & 5, led by Dan-El plows through the Shining Force’s defense, which consists of Ken, Earnest (aka Ed-1), and Lyle (aka Weird Al). The three Kryptonians then manage to take out Pelle (aka JayLeno), Ken and Mae (aka JoanJett), before they meet their magical end. Luke (aka Mayonais) who has just single-handedly killed a Kryptonian with his Atlas is crushed to death by the grip of Vitar, right before Vitar breaks Tao’s Demon Rod and kills her in the process. Dark Supergirl then ironically uses her super-breath to freeze Anri to death. Dark Supergirl and Vitar walk a couple of feet and pick a half-melted Jolly out of a small crater. Vitar is holding up the last remaining Candy Land Crewster, who happily says: “Did we win”? Vitar looks at Jolly and says: “Yup, now quit acting so surprised”. Dark Supergirl finishes in the third person with: “Yeah, Jolly. Everybody knows that TEAM has always been Supergirl’s B&*^$h”.
LAYANDER’S SUPER ORANGE KITTIES AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER TO MAKE A NEW FAMILY IS VICTORIOUS!!

Seaon 4 Week 3, Better than All of You vs Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers

Better Than All Of You is:
David Dunn (Unbreakable) ,Rambo, Beechead, Snake Eyes Original Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze),6 Army Soldiers, Doc Holliday, 4 Orcs, Black Suit Spider Man, Blues Brother Jake w/ motorcycle, 1 Doozer

Griffin’s High Maintenance Mouthfulls are:
My state farm agent, Techno destructo,Bozzo destructo,Bonesnapper, Cardinal syn,Jewcifer,Zog, Gor Gor, Johnny Rotten. Kingdom come Superman, Caira the Old strong, Starkiller, The Leader (w/ a red lightsaber), Hellion, Black Lantern Al Dog

Coming To you Live from the capital city of Iraq…
Hello friends, this is Mikeatu reporting to you live from channel 9 action news.
The watcher gig simply isn’t paying enough so I’ve picked up a sideline reporting on the events for the local channel 9 affiliate. Kill two birds with one stone right?

We now join the battle, already in progress, there are no words to describe what’s happening, I will simply let the camera crew here tell the story:

A close in shot of David Dunn strutting around the vast desert… he appears to be screaming.

“HAH! Not a drop of water in sight! I am truly Unbreakable!”

He appears to be daring all of his enemies to take shots at him. Black Lantern Al Dog approaches and takes a swing at him, shattering his hand. Oh my God! The camera quickly pans away as Dunn has struck black lantern Al Dog in the throat with the web of his hand cracking his trachea and causing him to suffocate to death.
“Haha try singing Bruno now!" Dunn screams. Then more quietly he says "wait.. what?"

“That’s quite enough of that,” says Kingdom Come Superman who proceeds to fling Dunn into the Tigris river. Dun drowns immediately because M. Night Shymalan is hydrophobic.

The State Farm agent rolls in on a diamond encrusted Bugatti Veyron (you have no idea how high the monthly payments are to cover this team let alone Griffin himself) Unfortunately for her, black suit Spiderman has created a giant web slingshot and lets it go, clipping the high priced automobile and sending it flying into GWAR.
The state farm agent is killed, but not by the impact because as the song goes…

“They are GWAR, and they’ll go far, they’ve got guitars, they’ll eat your car. GWAR GWAR GWAR GWAR!”

The screams of the state farm agent pierce the air as the Bizarre Metal band consumes the car with her inside it.
Johnny Blaze and Jake Elwood roll up on the Gwar gang singing their own tune…

“Ghost Rider motorcycle hero, Ghost Rider motorcycle hero, baby baby baby baby he’s screamin the truth, Ridin around in a blue jump suit yeah…”

Johnny attaches his chains to Jakes bike and they murder the entire GWAR roster with a fiery clothesline.

Unfortunately they didn’t see Kingdom Come Superman land in the back of the group. Superman stands his ground and the bikes wrap around him slamming into each other at full speed killing Jake instantly and sending Johnny Flying. The ghost rider manages to recover and wrap his chains around the throat of superman. His penance stare pierces into Superman’s mind and forces him to think of all of the people he couldn’t save over the years he spent in his fortress of solitude. Superman is driven insane with guilt by the thought of all those innocent lives and he falls listless to the ground. The Ghost Rider then strangles him to death with his magical chains.

Hellion flings Blaze into the wreckage of the motorcycles, weakened from his effort spent killing superman blaze is easily dismantled by Hellions telekinetic powers. Caira, Hellion, Star Killer and the leader hunt the Baghdad streets for the remaining members of Better Than All of You.

They easily dispatch the Army soliders, the orcs, and with luck they get the drop on the Doozer before he is able to finish his elaborate crystalline ambush.
Unfortunately for the foursome, they’ve walked into another ambush. The poor Doozer was only the bait.

“NOW!” screams John Rambo as he launches and Explosive arrow into the back of Hellions head.

The resultant explosion and spray temporarily blinds the others, giving Snake Eyes time to dispatch Caira. The Leader hauls Starkiller out of the way just before Snake eyes’ blade pierces his chest.
Unfortunately for The Leader, Beechead has no sympathy for people with stupid names and he proceeds to place a bullet in The Leaders oversized green melon.
Snake Eyes motions for Rambo to stay out of the fight and squares off with Starkiller.
Starkiller Flips on his dual lightsabers and proceeds to fight the silent ninja. Snake eyes dodges his attacks with acrobatic flips and seems to be having a fairly easy time, he runs up the high spire of a minaret and the two square off on the roof.
Starkiller sees his moment to strike and slices Snake Eyes neatly in two. The halves of his body tumbling down the side of the minaret in an oddly familiar fashion…
“This is over.” Says Starkiller once he reaches the ground and moves to face Rambo.
“NOTHIN IS OVUH!!” shouts Rambo a she launches into an assault on Starkiller. The explosive arrows miss the lightsaber wielding warrior who deflects them easily with the force.
“Raaaaaagghhhhh!” screams Rambo again as he drops his bow and arrow for an M16.
“Try deflecting a three round burst.”
Rambo Taps the trigger of his weapon and three 5.62 rounds rip through the air, the twin sabers of starkiller melt the bullets easily and he smirks. He advances on Rambo and suddenly has an odd look on his face….

The bloom of blood soaks his shirt, Starkiller failed to see Doc Holiday sneak up behind him and failed to notice him timing his own shot to match the one from Rambo’s gun. Unaware of the sneak attack Doc’s shot landed, punching a hole into Starkillers aorta causing him to bleed out in seconds.

“I ain’t above shootin a man in the back son.” Doc said to Rambo’s puzzled look.

“I don’t know how that rumor even got started…”

Better Than All of You is Victorious!
Black Suit Spiderman, Rambo and Doc Holiday Survive!

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Luke Skywalker: Grand Jedi Master, Sandworm #14, Phoenix, Sheanna, Nightwing, and Flamebird.

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Al Qaeda Terrorist #1-20, Sandworm #1, Graboid #1, Dorf, Ginaz Swordsmen #10, Aaron Eggemeyer, & Black Lantern Guy Gardner.


Both teams scatter as the two massive sandworms come bursting out of the Dunes of Baghdad. Sheanna attempts to calm the two worms, but she is unable to break through their instinctual need to dominate their own territory. Graboid #1 grabs a hold of Sheanna and breaks her neck before he eats her. As the competitors attempt to escape, The Graboid, The Ginaz Swordsmen, & Aaron Eggemeyer are crushed to death. Luke Skywalker should have plenty of time and skill to get away, but somehow Dorf manages to trip the Master with his golf club that he was tripping over as well. Luke sticks his lightsaber through Dorf’s face, but in the end it slows Luke down enough to have him join Dorf in death at the hands of the two great makers. Phoenix squares off against Guy Gardner, high above the warm desert ground. While Nightwing and Flamebird formulate a plan to take out the enormous sandworm. They had at first hoped that perhaps their sandworm would come out on top of the battle, but as all of us FFL Fans know, Sandworm #1 is indeed the biggest of all the worms and it has never lost a territorial battle with another worm. The Al Qaeda terrorists attempt to gather enough Sandworm #14 teeth for crysknives for both themselves, and their fallen comrades; but as they are doing this, their own mammoth Shai Halud sends them to meet Allah. Black Lantern Guy Gardner viciously attacks Jean Grey, but he is stopped when she releases the power cosmic to re-kill the ring-wielder. Phoenix regroups with Flamebird and Nightwing, and the three of them recklessly fly directly into the mouth of Sandworm #1. They realize that the maker must have a vulnerable spot inside it somewhere and that if it does they are surely powerful enough to destroy it. The three super-powered chicks fight valiantly once inside. They attack with every bit of power they have but to the eyes of the desert, it seems as though the worm is simply going about its business. It is not until the sandworm begins to glow red in its center that it all of the sudden slowly comes to a stop. After the sandstorm caused by the worms settles; a small hole, oozing the water of life is seen in the side of the worm... Only Flamebird crawls out of it.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!

The Right Wing Vs The Untouchables

The right wing is
Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring),The Incredible Hulk (w/ a Red lantern ring), The Pantheon: Achilles, Agamemnon, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Perseus, Prometheus, Ulysses I, & Ullysses II., Skaar, Son of Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber), Korg in an Ornithopter, The Cosmic Hulk Robot, Red She-Hulk, Ewok Baby #3 & 4, Smurf #3

The Untouchables are
Maestro, Dust, Bizarro Supergirl, Emperor Han, Toph Bei Fong, Ras Al Ghul, Pikachu, Buzz Lightyear, Kryptonian Army Soldier #3

Now before I fill you in on the details of this match, I would just like to say that it was well worth the camel stink.

The streets of Baghdad are as busy and chaotic as they always are until suddenly a large craft appears in the sky, and then another. Panic ensues. Is it an attack? Is it aliens? No. is The Right Wing in a FFL transport vessel. The streets of Down town Baghdad are now empty, and The wing drops in. Silver surfer immediately incases the hulk in a bubble of is lantern energy. But because hulk keeps spiting blood out and trying to kill everyone the surfer has to keep remaking the bubble. Which is quickly draining the surfers ring of its energy. A freak Dust storm rolls in and cause some confusion among the Right Wing. The storm clears as quickly as it started. Achilles, Agamemnon, Ajax Lay dead on the ground.

Bizarro Supergirl: THE TOUCHIES ARE HERE!

Silver Surfer Launches his quickly deteriorating hulk bomb at The Untouchables. He lands right on the Kryptonian Soldier liquefying his body almost instantly. The Teams go to war. Pikachu shoots a electric blast at an advancing pair of ewoks which causes their bodies to explode. Now the pokemon sets his sights on Korg and his lame as bird plane glider thing. He Fires a large Bolt of lighting at the ornithopter, causing it to crash and killing Korg. Maestro and The Hulk make eye contact. They rush each other. Its hard to tell if all the blood is mostly from The hulk’s use of the ring or the fight but there is a lot of it. The Hulk throws a furious combination of punches, head butts, and what I think were attempted bites, But maestro Needs only to get his hands on Hulk. When he does, he literally turns him sideways reaches in his a** and pulls out his skeletal structure. Upon witnessing this carnage the remaining members of the pantheon s**t them selves and retreat. Ras Al Ghul Attempts to give chase but is grabbed from behind by the hulk robot and crumpled up into a bloody, meaty, ball.

Toph Bei Fong: Alright we have played long enough, lets finish this.

Toph Bei Fong and Dust put there command over the landscape into full effect. Toph makes the ground around the hulk robot suck him in up to his neck, then brings up a large piece of earth and quickly flings it into the robots head, ripping it off. Dust whips up a small sand tornado and launches red-she Hulk to Maestro Where she is promptly stomped into the ground. Dust again uses a tornado to bring down the silver surfer. Emperor Han freezes him and Bizzaro Supergirl smashes him to bits. Maestro Hits each of the hulks children once, all the force necessary to kill them. It seems as though the fight is over but the to smallest competitors have yet to settle there differences. Smurf #3 and Buzz Lightyear square up. The smurf may be smaller than he toy but he’s spunky. Smurf #3 lands two good body shots, one ever breaks off a piece of buzz. Lightyear is un affected.

Buzz Lightyear: You can’t kill me pipsqueak, I AM A TOY.

Buzz grabs the smurf by the necks and begins smashing his face, he then picks him up and power bombs the helpless little guy to ground. Buzz laughs as he leans in for the kill. Smurf #3 reaches up and opens buzzes helmet, buzz panics an begins gasping for air. The smurf grabs the broken piece of plastic and jams it into buzz’s brain steam.

Smurf #3: Smurf you!


The Untouchables are victorious!

The Right Wing: Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II escape needing only new underwear.

The Untouchables: Maestro, Dust, Bizarro Supergirl, Emperor Han, Toph Bei Fong, Pikachu survive.

Oblivio Vs The Syracuse valley

Oblivio is
Sandworm #8, Sandworm #13,Graboid #2,Graboid #3,Kraft Dragon #2,Jet Jaguar ,Magma, Earl Bassett & Val McKee.


The Syracuse valley are
Megatron, Soundwave w/ Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, (movie) Ravage, Fast-Forward*, The Decepticon Spy Bug*, (movie) Wheelie*, & Decepticon #1 & 2, Starscream, Jazz, Cosmic Spider-Man, Rayden w/ Kid Thunder, Capt. Lou Albano in an Exo-Suit, Little Goomba #7


After I received this match-up I didn’t bother making the trip on account of I didn’t want to see my brother get butt f**ked and just about everybody over there smells like a camel. So I called my buddy Laith who lives in Baghdad and got him to record the match on his I-Phone. It was a wise decision because what I saw on that shaky but amazingly hi def screen was unspeakable but surprisingly easy to write about. The recording began with Little Goomba #7 walking back and forth as his team listened to what he had to say.

Little Goomba #7 : Alright guys bottom line his we are f**ked no matter what we do, we are going to lose. But I think if we decide right no that we’re going down fighting we might be able to buy enough time for the kid, Fast-Forward, Spy Bug, Wheelie, and Jazz to escape.

Megatron; Shut your mouth mushroom, No one retreats. We are going to win whether I have to use your dead body to beat them all to death or NOT!

Black Lantern Squawk Talk: Yes I agree, I am really looking forward to eating some sandworm heart.

Little Goomba#7: Really? And just were is a Sandworms heart located.

Capt. Lou Albano: The Goombas gota point.

SUDDENLY THE EARTH BEGINS TO RUMBLE!

Sandworm#8 devours all of the Transformers and Captain Lou. Graboid#3 breaks through the ground ready to eat kid thunder but just as the large worm creature shoots out his tentacles Goomba#7 sacrifices himself to save the boy. Kid Thunder runs and hides in one of the nearby buildings. Just as Rayden is falling into the pit that is a sandworm and right before cosmic Spiderman is consumed he manages to fire off a burst of energy the splatters Val all over Earl.

Oblivio is victorious!

The Syracuse Valley: Kid thunder sole survivor.

Oblivio: All unharmed except Val McKee who is dead and Earl Basset who is emotionally scarred.

Season Four - Week Three: Logical Genocide vs Le' Napoleon's Brigade

Logical Genocide is The Champion of the Universe, Black Lantern Sinestro, Ion, Magmar, Hawk, Sandworm #11 and Roster Filler Smurf.

Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade is Obi Wan Kenobi, Skyfire, Sentinel (Alan Scott), Alia Atreides, Alia Atreides Ghola, Duncan Idaho Ghola #2, Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, Hecate and Ron Meyer.



“Let’s see if there is anyone WORTHY enough to face me in battle on this team!” bellows The Champion of the Universe. He leads the team of Magmar, Hawk and Roster Filler Smurf into battle as Black Lantern Sinestro and Ion are soaring overhead. Most of Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade then flies in aboard Skyfire, into the heart of Baghdad where they meet their opponents. They leap out, ready for action, as Skyfire blasts back off into the sky. Obi Wan Kenobi ignites his lightsaber as he draws the Champion’s attention. “Ha! This is the best you have to offer me? A puny human with a glow stick?” he chuckles. Master Kenobi is not amused by the blue skinned behemoth’s snide comments. He pulls back and hits the Champion of the Universe with a massive Force push that knocks him off his feet. It’s then that the rest of Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade jumps into action. Ron Meyer quickly runs in and smashes Roster Filler Smurf with his trusty shovel as the foursome of Alia Atreides, her Ghola and the two Duncan Idaho Gholas surround Magmar and Hawk. But the Earth beneath their very feet begins to shake as Sandworm #11 explodes out of the sand and consumes all of them in one swift motion. The enormous creature then dives back into the sand as the battle wages on high in the air.

Black Lantern Sinestro and Ion find themselves outnumbered against Sentinel, Skyfire and Hecate. Alan Scott immediately goes after BL Sinestro as the two robots try and take down Ion. Sentinel blasts him with a massive amount of green energy fire and fry him to his very core, but the Black Lantern quickly regenerates and comes right back after the Golden Age Green Lantern. Skyfire and Hecate are flying circles around Ion, but they are no match for the vast powers of the Green Lantern. He lets loose a mega blast of green energy then literally evaporates both Skyfire and Hecate. Ion turns around just in time to see Alan Scott finally finish off the Black Lantern. The two Green Lanterns then clash with such might, that the entire night sky over Baghdad flashes with green light.

Back on the ground, Obi Wan in playing a smart game of cat and mouse against The Champion of the Universe. The galactic pro wrestler is growing incredibly agitated at the Jedi’s tactics. Obi Wan uses his mastery of the Force to direct the Champion’s attention elsewhere, which allows him to sneak up from behind and drive his lightsaber through the Champion. Obi Wan looks up into the sky and sees the flashes on green continue to brighten the dark desert sky. Alan Scott is doing everything his mind and body will allow him to do, but Ion keeps coming. They both then focus and release an incredible amount of green energy at point blank range at each other. The blast is so powerful and bright, that Master Kenobi is forced to shield his eyes from it. He then hears a strange noise that came from behind him. When then Jedi turns around he finds Ion standing there, battered, but not beaten. “This match is over Master Jedi. I wish to do your team no more harm,” Ion says to Kenobi. “No more harm?! What about what you just did to Alan?” shouts Obi Wan. “His fate is the same as yours,” the Green Lantern replies as he uses his incredible powers to remove the Jedi from the battle.

LOGICAL GENOCIDE IS VICTORIOUS!!

Season Four - Week Three: Alice's Wonder Team vs The Transfoamers

Alice's Wonder Team is The Spectre, Captain Universe, General Zod, and Zombie Abomination.

The Transfoamers are The Fallen, Black Lantern Darth Bane, Darth Zannah, Dr. No, Sandworms #6 & #7, and The Losers: Clay, Aisha, Roque, Jenson, Pooch and Cougar.


The sands of Baghdad, Iraq quake as the Transfoamers’ Sandworms weave their way deep underground. The Losers, along with Dr. No, quickly set up base in a bombed out building. Darth Zannah stands diligently outside awaiting the arrival of their opponents with what was once her master, Black Lantern Darth Bane. They are not made to wait for very long, as the trio of General Zod, Captain Universe and Zombie Abomination quickly make their presence known. Zombie Abomination tears through the building where the Losers have camped out in. The decaying behemoth quickly grabs a hold of Dr. No and rips his arms from their sockets and then proceeds to chomp all the way down to his waist, swallowing the scientist upper half. The Losers then unload everything they have on Zombie Abomination, but he keeps on coming. He crushes Jenson beneath his massive foot as he pounds Pooch into a smear of red mush. Clay, Roque, and Aisha retreat to an upper level of the building as poor Cougar provides them a moment of cover as he is being feasted on by the grotesque monster. However, with all of the violent pounding and smashing Zombie Abomination has been doing, this has resulted in gaining the Sandworms attention. Sandworm #6 bursts out from underneath the wrecked structure and swallows not only Zombie Abomination, but the remaining three members of the Losers as well.

Meanwhile, Darth Zannah has been valiantly trying to keep General Zod at bay, as Black Lantern is entangled with Captain Universe. Even with all the powers from the Dark Side of the Force that she can muster, Darth Zannah eventually succumbs to the strength of General Zod. The evil Kryptonian fires a distraction blast of heat vision at her as he quickly flies in to snatch the lightsaber out of the Sith’s hand and use it to remove her own head. The ancient being known as The Fallen then teleports in and lend a hand to Black Lantern Darth Bane. The large Transformer stomps General Zod into the ground and then with Black Lantern Darth Bane, they both blast Captain Universe back. The Black Lantern Sith flies after Captain Universe, while The Fallen tends to Zod. “You pathetic life form,” growls The Fallen. “You command your foes to kneel at your feet, yet here you are being crushed beneath mine!” After hearing this, Zod begins to laugh louder and louder at The Fallen. “You dare!!! You dare to laugh at me?!” exclaims The Fallen. It is then, when The Spectre arrives in the battle. “No, it is you who dare!” shouts The Spectre. The Spirit of Vengeance then extends his hand towards The Fallen and says, “For all of your evil atrocities throughout the cosmos, I hereby find you… guilty.” The Fallen tries to mount an attack against The Spectre, but is overpowered and is turned into a small transforming toy. General Zod then picks up the toy and crushes it into pieces. Zod turns to The Spectre, but he has found the he is no longer there. The Kryptonian General is then about to fly off to find Captain Universe and Black Lantern Darth Bane when the ground beneath erupts and Sandworm #7 consumes the Kryptonian.

Captain Universe is finding that defeating Black Lantern Darth Bane is much harder than he previously though. Darth Bane is using the combination of his vast Sith powers and his newly gained Black Lantern abilities to keep defending against Captain Universe’s attacks. But Captain Universe finally finishes off the undead Sith Lord by transmuting him into silicon dioxide, which is of course, sand. Captain Universe then senses the imminent arrival of the two massive Sandworms. They burst out of the sand, but Sandworm #7 slams back to the ground, motionless. The side of it then shatters open as if it was frozen from the inside out. This in fact, is exactly what happened, as General Zod used his freeze breath to destroy the creature from within. The two members of Alice’s Wonder Team then turn their attention to Sandworm #6 as it continues to rise out of the sand and engulfing them in its shadow. Zod is impetuous and flies head first at the enormous creature, but defeating the last Sandworm had taken too much out of him and this time, Zod does not make it back out of the Sandworm. Captain Universe begins to conjure all of his power to defeat such a mighty foe, but Sandworm #6 moves faster than he is expecting and devours the wielder of the Uni-Power.

THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!

week 3- B3 vs The Tijuana Taco Benders

Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches are: Black Lantern Apocalypse, Oblivion, Deadman, Hush, Max Mercury, Predator X #5, War Skrull #8, and Tunnel Rat

The Tijuana Taco Benders are: Lavos, Sandworms #9 & 12, Lady Deadpool, Headpool, Heatwave, Daredevil, Radioactive Man, and Mister X


I...I don't understand what happened. How things got this way. It's all so odd and doesn't make any sense. It was all supposed to be so easy. God. It burns so bad. What's happened to me??!!

My name is Matt Murdock. People call me Daredevil, and I think I'm dying.

I remember getting to the desert of Baghdad, and Lady Deadpool telling us this match would be easy since we not only have two Sandworms, but El Blanco and Lavos hidden under the sands just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Then, then it got strange. Lady Deadpool acted like she got a chill up her spine, and then told us she'd be "Right back" since she claimed to have seen something over the dunes. She took off and left us wondering what was going on. Mr X said he had a funny feeling something wasn't right.

I agreed.

When Lady Deadpool got back, something was definitely wrong, her heartbeat wasn't the same and she no longer smelled the same. Before she had a chance to know we were on to her, I struck and snapped her neck. Turns out it was some War Skrull, trying to infiltrate our ranks.

That was the last moment of clarity I have before the world went to hell.

All of a sudden, a black hole opened right in the middle of the desert and sucked in the sandworms, and Lavos-though not before they were able to take out Tunnel Rat and Predator X.
Heatwave was able to to set Hush on fire, and roast him but then Heatwave's neck suddenly got broken by Max Mercury.

I was trying to get a bead on someone, anyone. I think it was Radioactive Man who finally stopped Max Mercury. I can't be sure. I blacked out for a minute and when I awoke, Mr X was dead at my feet, Headpool was a pile of mush and Radioactive Man was just missing. My gut was burning as if I'd been shot by a laser, and that's what got me to this point.

Then I saw him. Apocalypse, and everything started to make sense.

I was about to die.

"Foolish Taco Bender" he sneered, his breath reeking of the grave "You think mere sandworm and aliens can stop Apocalypse? I have lived among these sands for over 5,000 years. I know when they have been disturbed and turned against me. Now, Murdock. My team has had it's fun. But your heart is now at it's peak of emotion. You've seen Oblivion take care of my underground problem, and thanks to Deadman's possession of your pitiful form, you were more than helpful in decimating the rest of your pitiful squadron. Now Murdock, goodbye"

"Screw you Apocalypse. Radioactive Man will take you out."

"Ah, foolishly heroic to the bitter end. Oblivion has already taken care of him, you fool. He's that red smear of sand right over there. Though, it seems you've caught an errant blast from their brief tussle. No matter, your time is at an end"

And with that I felt his burning touch pierce my chest and then . . .



Beckman's Backyardigan Beeyatches: Black Lantern Apocalypse, Oblivion, and Deadman survive

The Tijuana Taco Benders: All dead

BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!!

week 3- The Commandos of Hobama vs The Pussies that Sleep

"I was funny on SNL right? RIGHT?" "Former Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana vs. "Vegemite is TERRRRIBBBLLLE" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos are: Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Dex-Star, Karu-Sil, Azeem with Qui-Gon's Green Lightsaber, Katniss Everdeen, Lady GaGa, Jen Linley, and Black Lantern Dozer #1


Team Sleeping Pussy are: Kahn, Zombie Mothra, Den, Thunderbird, The Flash (Jay Garrick), Quicksilver, Hanover Fiste, Capt. Boomerang, and SHIELD Agent #2


"Come on, Vogue" Lady Gaga proclaims as she trudges across the deserts of Baghdad in a dress that is made of of Dozers.

"Ok, first of all that dress is pretty offensive considering we're currently in the company of a Dozer" Jen says "And second, you don't sing Vogue. Madonna does."

"Express yourself" Gaga retorts as she gives the classic 'talk to the hand' gesture to the "bad" girl of Dawson's Creek

"Have you not her the new Gaga single "Bored this Way," this isn't the first time she's ripped off Madonna" Azeem stoically says

"Um, I think it's called "Born this Way" Azeem, not bored" Jen replies

"Whatever, hoe. I'm from the time of Robin Hood and all that, the fact that I know who this monster even is pretty friggin impressive" Azeen fires back.

"You wanna go, old man? Cause I'll throw down" Jen says, not backing down from Azeem.

Just as this situation is about to boil over and fist are gonna be thrown, twin sandstorms erupt around the bickering commandos, blinding them.

"What's happening" Jen screams

"Life is a mystery" Gaga tells her.

"Seriously? That's your answer? Jen says "Unbelievable"

amid the confusion Zombie Mothra crashes into the ground crushing Karu-Sil, and Katniss Everdeen

"Holy f**k" Azeem yells as he fires up his light saber "Kill it, kill it with fire!!!!!"

As Jen starts to cry, and Azeem rushes toward the gigantic, rotten corpse of Mothra, it's head explodes and Earth-2 Superman stands in front of them.

"Sorry I'm late folks, but I had to deal with our sandstorms. Here." and Superman coolly drops the heads of Jay Garrick and Quicksilver at the feet of his horrified teammates. "Now, I must be off, I hear a kitten stuck in a tree in Metropolis." and he flies off to help save a life after brutally taking two.

"Oh my god. This stuff never happens when I hang out with Dawson and Pacey" Jen sobs as the horror of what she's witnessed so far begins to sink in.

"Chin up. Jen of the Linleys. The battle continues." Azeem tells her "I shall be by your side, and together we shall defeat all that encounter us."

"Just like a prayer, you know your voice can take me there." Gaga adds.

"Autobots, let's roll out" the group hear as Optimus Prime pulls up in his truck form

"A talking truck. Great. Cause I haven't seen enough weird s**t today" Jen moans

"Enough talk, let's find out enemies and tear out their hearts" says black lantern Optimus Prime as he joins the fray

"What the f***. How are there two of you?" Jen incredulously says

"Well, it's like this. The Commandos used to have Rodimus Prime on their team, but when he died he passed the Matrix of..." Optimus begins

"F*** you, b***. Let's get our killing going, f*** this back story s***." black lantern Optimus sneers and peels out.

"I do not care for these giant, talking, metal carriages" Azeem states "But let us follow them unto battle."

As the Commandos make their way deeper into the sands of Baghdad, let us see what the Pussies are up to.

"Mister Kahn, sir." SHIELD agent #2 says "We've lost three members, but we did successfully take out a few of the Commandos"

"Who have we taken out? Kahn asks

"Well, it looks like Katniss Everdeen, and Karu-Sil, sir. But we've not yet seen their little black lantern builder guy or Dex-Star, the red lantern cat."

"So, we sacrifice three strong members of a team and all we have taken out is the JOB SQUAD??? UNACCEPTABLE!" Kahn roars.

"Aye, that's not all we killed mate. Here." Says Capt. Boomerang as he throws the corpse of Dex-Star at the feet of Kahn "Heh. Look at 'em. Looks like e's asleep. That's funny we got us a sleeping pussy that ain't gonna wake up."

"How did you get this? Kahn asks, obviously pleased with the not only news of another dead commando, but with the terrible pun as well.

"It was me mate, Den here." Boomerang says

"Yeah, ole Den knows how to handle him some pussy, though we did lose Thunderbird in the battle" laughs Den, naked as always.

"Attention, I am picking up the energy signals of the Commandos" MODOK says before this weird scene gets any weirder

"The fools. They will now taste the full wrath of Kahn. Pussies ATTACK!" Kahn yells and the remaining team members fly into action.

The battle is pretty intense. Modok and Hanover Fiste are able to kill Optimus Prime and Azeem. But then they're destroyed by Black Lantern Optimus. Jen and Gaga are cowering and screaming over in a corner after seeing the undead Autobot leader gruesomely dismember SHIELD agent #2, when Den stumbles upon them

"Well, well. Hello ladies." Den says "You know, death doesn't always have to be a nasty, ugly affair. How's about we go find a nice dune somewhere and I..well"

"I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" says Gaga as she licks her lips and appreciates Den's clothing situation

"Oh god. I'm in hell, I'm in hell" cries Jen as she suffers a complete mental collapse.

"Shall we, Gaga?" Den lecherously says as he prepares to get him some Gaga

"I want your..HEART." her dress screams and sudden the black lantern Dozer appears and kills Den before anymore perversion takes place.

"Ah, delicious." says the blood covered Dozer "And no bulls*** Josh Houslander around to f*** me over again. Come on Gaga, let's go get some more pussies"

We are living in a material world" agrees Gaga and she and the Dozer go to gather the catatonic Jen as she lays in the sand.

"Can I go home now, please." Jen weeps

as Gaga opens her mouth to quote another Madonna lyric her head suddenly grows a razor sharp boomerang right between her eyes.

"G'day, ladies" says Capt Boomerang as he approaches the mentally collapsed teen and the vicious undead Muppet. "Now, how's about you and the Cap'n make it happen, love."

As Jen braces herself for more horrors her mind can't handle, Boomerang is suddenly crushed under the heel of black Lantern Optimus, spraying her with blood and bone fragments.

"There, that's the last of them." he says "Hey, Dozer guess who's heart I tore out?"

"Who?"

Black Lantern Optimus drops to his knees and looks to the sky and in classic Kirk style screams "KKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!"

"Hahaha, that's awesome." say the Dozer. "Here's let's get out of here. There's nothing left for us to kill."

The two black lanterns take off laughing, leaving Jen huddled in the fetal position sobbingly singing "I don't wanna wait...for our...lives to be...over."


The Commandos: Jen Linley, Earth-2 Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, and Black Lantern Dozer #1 survive

Team Sleeping Pussy: All Dead.


POP SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS IS VICTORIOUS!!!!!